i miss my ex so much. everything feels so weird now. i've had to move back home and i feel so lonely and useless and unworthy. i dont think he will fix himself, and we still are in contact, its just so tough. i should probably get a job or something soon to fill my spare time, im just nervous. i try to fill my time with hobbies, but even that is becoming boring. i dont want to sleep or eat, im just hurting. it hurts not being held by him anymore. he was my first real relationship and im scared ill never have that again (i only would want him, anyway. but he treated me awfully most of the time).

it just sucks. i feel so alone. all of the time in the world to grow and accomplish my goals and im just spending it depressed playing vidya and too sad to motivate myself. i dont want to work but i should just to keep myself busy. ifeel so awful