shit normies say Anonymous 57823
>Why do you never talk?
>reconnect with old friends from school!
its morning, its never good.
>Ashleighynn please finish your CBD hotdog, I'm late for my artisan kombucha class
Isn't my little girl so cute?
>don’t worry about being loved anon! you should make friends before focusing on boyfriends and dating>>59692That made me kek so hard
I have a paragraph … You should meet my husband? When are you having children? You just haven't met the right one! When are you going to get out of survival mode and live? Why can't you move on? Just get over it!
>>59713>When are you going to get out of survival mode and live? Why can't you move on? Just get over it!
these are the worst and the most damaging. it costs nothing to be understanding of the process.
I know, normies just don't understand trauma. I just have to shrug it off.
-You’re too sensitive.
-Who cares about (internet) privacy?
-You sound like a femmenazi (to me)
-I don’t care about privacy
-You sound like a tradthot (to me)
-Why don’t you talk much?
Cause nothing I say ever pleases anybody because everyone in my life besides my mother is apparently a fucking narcissist or at least self centered assclowns.
Plus I learn more by watching and keeping quiet than just squawking to hear myself talk.
>Do you really not have any friends?
>Why don't you go outside for a change?
>You're always quiet.
>I was just teasing you. Relax.
>>59745>Why don't you talk much?HISS GROWL SCRATCH
i hate this one even more than the first two you put down. Why aren't you like mee?!?!
>You're so quiet.
>You don't talk much huh?
>You should be more sociable and communicate more! Don't be shy!
>Be strong and be more independent!
>What kind of job you're working as?
>Do you have a boyfriend?
This world isn't fit for introverts like me.
Ikr. Like bro maybe I’d talk more if 1) you’d let me get a word in edgewise and 2) you didn’t make me feel weird about not bogarting the conversation.
>when are you having kids
>do you have a boyfriend
>when are you getting married
>why don’t you just go out and talk to guys
>why don’t you just ask a guy out
you just ask a guy out though?
This is how you should counter next time:
>And why do you always talk?>You're always so loud!>Do you really have so many friends or are they just shallow acquaintances?>You should listen more, don't be so forward!
>so what do you do all day?
>What do young girls like you do with their friends these days?
>You do go out with your friends, do you?
Whenever they assume I have friends I just freeze.
Already tried it dozens of times, got rejected
Those are rookie numbers. Ask one moid out once a week and that's 52 tries a year.
>Coworkers asking me what I’m doing this weekend
Stop asking me. The answer is always nothing.
>You don't have your drivers license yet? You better hurry up and get it soon!
Every time at places like the dentist or hairdresser.
really depends on how old you are. I'm surprised a lot of people in the 18-27 range dont drive
Me when I get asked by my siblings just because they're doing much better than I am in which they have good jobs, friends and driving confidently with a driver's license.>>60193>>60196
I know that driving is essential but it's absolutely terrifying. Like I don't want to end up causing accidents, dealing with damages and pissed off drivers. Still don't have a license yet.
I think it depends on where you live.
You absolutely need
to get a drivers license.
But having a car? That all depends on where you live. If you live in a location where you don’t need one then no worries.
But it is absolutely paramount to know how to drive a car for safety reasons.
You never know when you’ll need to drive (legally) to take someone somewhere for something.
>"Why are you all so quiet?" or "Wow, it's so quiet!" (The moment there isn't someone in the room talking non-stop)
> "I used to be quiet" (kthx for that information.)
> "There's nothing wrong with being quiet" (Then stop commenting on it for fucks sake.)
I've met multiple people my age that don't drive at this point. And we're in the suburbs, where you need a car to get almost everywhere, and in our 20s. Personally, I have a license but can't afford a car and don't have anyone to practice with, but at the same time I'm glad I'm not stuck with yet another huge financial burden that is owning a vehicle. I'm trying to find a way out of the U.S ASAP and to somewhere where there's actually decent public transportation, so hopefully I'll never even need one.
I was the same. I won’t tell you why.But
Lots of people drive like it’s nothing. Like they don’t care their car is a literal weapon.
You on the other hand, my friend, do know this.
This realization will make staying alert and vigilant easier.
The best advice for driving is this:
Always be 100% sure you can make it.
Don’t ever hesitate past the event horizon/point of no return (you’ll know what I mean when you start driving).
Don’t fuck with your phone. Like ever (if you do for the LOVE OF GOD PLZ DO IT ONLY AT A RED LIGHT).
Listen to this >>60220
anon. I was nervous to drive for years and didn't get my license until 18, but I don't regret it. I had a few close calls and totaled my first car, but after that I learned (and was fortunate enough!) to drive well, or at least well enough not to get into anymore accidents over five years later.
It's much more rewarding when you learn to drive and pat yourself on the back for accomplishing strides than it is to sit around fearing the idea of it.
i'm the normie
i wouldn't mind being asked any of these questions. even when they're weirdly phrased, people don't seem to have a bad intention when asking them. or at least i just live happily ignoring their bad intentions lol
not the anon you guys were replying to but i will take your advice to heart as well, i am sick of not being able to do things on my own because i can't drive. thank you for the words of encouragement
don't mean to stray off topic but who is that in the pic?
Some rotoscoped actress from Aku no Hana.
>Do you drink?
Not really a fan of the taste of alcohol. It's too strong and nasty for me. I really don't get why it's such a huge thing. Is this like some sort of validation of maturity? Though I like drinking bubble tea instead.
People don't drink for the taste. It just makes you more sociable. It helps for me because I can hardly talk to people I don't know well. If I'm at some get together where I don't know everyone there, alcohol helps me act as I normally would around friends.
>>60653>People don't drink for the taste
yes they do. there are hundreds of types of drinks that it's not really comparable to lump them together.>>60631
bubble tea is a meme and it usually just tastes like sweet milk. maybe the problem is you can't appreciate more complicated flavours. not that drinking alcohol is a good thing.
>>59745>I don’t care about privacy
It makes me livid to think how little people care about thinking ahead. Like there would be a huge problem and for one day if someone puts a lot of effort in making people aware with a whole campaing, even then they will get bored of it. Next time you tell them "Hey privacy is still under siege" "The environment is still going to hell" "People are still dying in a senseless war in the middle east" they will not hear it. And the worst of it is that they don't do it out of personal conviction, their opinions or any sense of self assurance in any way. They will tell you they don't care because they are BORED. They would care about great injustices for a limited time and then they don't care to hear any more, because people living comfortable lives see tragedy and suffering as another movie, another piece of entertainment to consume and keep them busy so they don't have to think for or abount themselves. This apathy is eating the entire world from the inside out. Most people just care about feeling without doing anything and move on to the next borrowed experience they can get from social media. In my opinion this is by far the biggest problem humanity is facing and there's no real solution for it
I'm sorry to unload all this on your post but that thing about privacy made me remember why humanity is doomed
here. Yup. I totally understand, ppl think you get on your little soapbox to rant about “big brother” but it’s not just the goverment big brother…it’s corporate big brother. Like. Dude. You use blinds in your house right? Same concept.
Hmm me, too. Not for bad taste though. I get hooked on things easily and my dad struggled with alcohol and drugs so I refuse to partake in it. On top of that my diet is pretty strict because I gain weight easily. Alcohol is simply out of the question.
I also hate being around drunk people, so most normies can't be close to me lmao. Where I live at least it's a social necessity because every socially adjusted person is involved in drinking and clubbing. I am weird and unnerving for other reasons, but this certainly doesn't help.
>>60653>It just makes you more sociable. It helps for me because I can hardly talk to people I don't know well.
Ah, you're right on that. Drinking does help you open up. Never done it before, but I get it.>>60668>bubble tea is a meme
Sure it seems trendy nowadays, but I like them before they became popular.
>and it usually just tastes like sweet milk.
Yeah, but comes in different flavors though I prefer milk tea. The tapioca pearls are a tasty treat too.
>maybe the problem is you can't appreciate more complicated flavours. not that drinking alcohol is a good thing.
I guess I can't really enjoy it because of it's strong taste and smell. Plus the burning feeling after swallowing it. If it's sweet or mixed with juice/soda, then it's fine.>>60695>I get hooked on things easily and my dad struggled with alcohol and drugs so I refuse to partake in it.
That's understandable. Avoiding addiction and not going through what your father had experienced.
>On top of that my diet is pretty strict because I gain weight easily. Alcohol is simply out of the question.
Does alchohol really make people gain weight? I mean I've seen beer belly men, but alchohol can make you fat?
>I also hate being around drunk people, so most normies can't be close to me lmao.
Just by looking at them, they seem to be enjoying themselves, but yeah they can be rowdy and annoying too.
>Where I live at least it's a social necessity because every socially adjusted person is involved in drinking and clubbing.
Yep, mostly successful people with friends that hang out together.
>I am weird and unnerving for other reasons, but this certainly doesn't help.
Is it because you're quiet or something? Sometimes it's okay to weird than being completely normal.
>Why aren't you drinking alcohol? Are you pregnant or something? Come on, one glass won't hurt.
>You do exercieses? But you are thin, you don't need that!
I'm looking after my health and want to be able to walk when I'm 80.
Shit normies say:
>you should do more than sit in your room that is not a life worth living
not even kidding a counselor said this to me… Maybe I enjoy being by myself.
Normies are just different and that is ok but I have done what they have and tried what normie life has to offer and it is so hollow to me.
>>60703>Does alchohol really make people gain weight? I mean I've seen beer belly men, but alchohol can make you fat?
It's liquid calories and I also don't eat sugary things. Not keto, it just breaks me out. I also avoid juice and smoothies.>Is it because you're quiet or something?
I'm not quite sure. You're likely right; the quietness makes me unintentionally cold and rude. People my age never get close unless they're awkward in the opposite way (poor sense of boundaries). I like listening to people and try to be nice but something about me is off for sure.
>you have to love yourself before someone else can love you
>I met my husband on tinder/facebook/twitter/pinterest
>dude just join a club and make friends there
>did you see (flavor of the month) series on Netflix yet?
>I'm so hungover today, too much partying this weekend
>maybe people are intimidated by you because you don't smile!
>>60767>maybe people are intimidated by you because you don't smile!
If I had a dollar for everytime someone said this to me…
Kek. I love being told by Karens and Beckies that the reason men don’t approach me is probably because I intimidate them. Like shut up bitch u know its cuz I’m ugly.
I'm 27 and only got my license last year. Still have issues with fear of driving, I can't go to a new place I've never driven to by myself yet, I have to have someone I trust with me. I sometimes will cancel appointments because I start having an episode or get sick from anxiety over anticipation of driving.
>>60178>I just freeze.
this hits too close to home
>what do you do for fun?
>besides working out, what do you do for fun?
God I need more than one hobby now? Fuck off
>want to meet at [bar]? how is 9pm?
I hate drinking and I sleep by then
Dating sucks -__-
>>57823>do you even hang out with anyone?>are you mute?
I tried to pass my driving licence but failed miserably. It's too anxiety inducing. Not driving per se, but the instructors screaming at you. And god the fucking price. I'm not paying 50 euros/ hour to be treated like a retard, fuck you. I absolutely hated it.
On the other hand I got a bike, and I'm very independant.
Fuck drivers licence, I will get a scooter licence instead, it's easier and I will have a motorized vehicle this way.
>you should eat something, you are so thin!!!
like imagine i was walking around telling these people to stop eating because they are so fat
normies definitely do that though. they have a weird obsession with commenting on people's weight.
It's just an easy topic to bring up. If you decorated your cubicle with [insert sportsball team] merchandise they'd talk about that too. I suppose some of the more narcissitic ones would get pleasure out of knocking a given person down, but weight is just a simple easy thing to talk about.
? Ntas but weight isn't an easy thing to talk about, it's a conversation full of land mines and I never bring it up personally
>>64628>weight is not an easy thing to talk about>>64624
<why do normies do this all the time?
I'm going to go with the normies with what's pretty easy to talk about because you know, they're normal.
You're conflating "normie" with "average." The average person is dumb and overweight, and assumes everyone will respond well when they bring up weight. Whereas reasonable people think twice before bringing up weight just like they would politics or religion.
If dumb people find it easy to talk about it then by definition it should be easier. Tasks that dumb people can do are easier than ones only smart people can do. Furthermore, assuming the average person is fat and dumb, and is okay talking with others about weight, and talks to other average people, who are also fat and dumb, and also comfortable talking about weight, then they're right by definition.
>you really don’t have a car?
>how do you walk everywhere?
Once my mom's friend's daughter came by to visit our house, she was a similar age and from a bigger city and so she asked me what there was to do in my smaller city and I said I don't know. She got really confused and kept asking variations of "but so what do you do with your friends? where do you hang out with your friends?" and I didn't know the non-awkward way to break it to her that I barely even left my room
>that time I was alone in an empty and comfy classroom in uni doing my homework for next class>suddenly a couple comes in>they start making out in a corner in front of me>their disgusting wet kissing sounds echo through the whole classroom>try to ignore it, but i'm unable to focus>stare at her only cuz her bf wasn't looking>after a while she whispers something to him while looking at me>she says "what?">"could you stop?">"why?">"it's annoying">"we're not doing anything wrong!"
I forgot what happened then but holy shit, why can't people like this at least use a fucking EMPTY room? Like, I don't give a shit if you fuck at school, just don't expose other people to something so intimate and awkward… Why do quiet people like us have to stand this bullshit?? Well, at least I had the courage to say something and voice my objections clearly this time, the first time this happened to me (in high school) the only word I could say was "no" after death staring for several minutes (and even then they didn't seem to understand the issue, could they be any more stupid? Motherfuckers, it's just you two and me, have you ever imagined what it feels like to be alone with a horny couple making out in front of you against your will? retards)>>60683
This, like, I got so fucking upset when I told my mom what was wrong with Smart TVs (cuz wow you can control the TV with your voice instead of having to use the remote!! and you can also watch YouTube on it!! What do you mean it can be used to spy on you?) and with giving your data to corporations and who knows what governments. It literally made me tear up because she took it like a joke or, you know, one of those things I "blow out of proportion"!!
Yeah, when people ask me about my friends, a boyfriend, a crush, university, or what I do when I go out, that really catches me off-guard.
I guess the only answer one could give in that case is the truth, "I don't talk to anyone, I don't hang out with anyone, I don't give a shit about relationships, I don't have a crush because I don't interact with people anymore, I don't leave my house, I don't do anything at home, I'm not currently studying or working".
People who ask these things are not annoying on purpose, though it is extremely annoying. I guess it could be called "small talk". They just don't know what else to ask, because they assume these questions are universal. I mean, think about it, what kind of question could they possibly ask you to know more about you and have a pleasant conversation with you?
>>57823>You look tired
Well maybe that's because I am.
Insistently ask me "why" when I say I'm anxious. I'm anxious because my amygdala is a malfunctioning piece of shit, there's nothing deeper to it!
Whenever I hear normies talking about politics or any complex topic it enrages me. They always have the most ignorant uneducated takes that they spout with such confidence. They just regurgitate whatever the pop media opinions are or something they heard that sounds smart without understanding it. I never join those conversations because it would be pointless to say anything to them because they take any discourse or outside opinions as an attack on their egos. Whenever I do they just resort to bullying me which scares me away and makes them think they're right. It just makes me reeee more than anything when normies pretend that they're smart.
Can relate, especially with COVID happening, even my few more skeptical friends are now like lemmings just following what everyone else is doing and what media tells them.
I already had to begrudgingly take the fucker or the school wouldn't let me attend classes.
>When are you going to start dating?
>What do you wanna do after college?
>When are you gonna start driving?
>Have you made any friends yet?
>Keep your door open it's hot in here
>Are you playing video games? Are you playing games? You're on your phone a lot, are you playing games? Are you playing games on your laptop? Do your homework
I AM DOING MY HOMEWORK IM NOT ALWAYS GAMING
>Do you have a boyfriend?
I was 12 btw, my cousin asked this. She got pregnant when she was 16
>Stop being sad
>Why are you so serious all the time?
>Do you ever smile?
>Do you want to kill yourself?
Yeah, I mean what I do all day is post on imageboards and play video games, and that's not something you can really discuss with someone who has no concept of what they're like. I just feel really awkward telling the truth because I can see people turn uncomfortable and confused, since like you said they assume it's universal, and it does not compute when you don't fit into their worldview.
I know what you mean anon. Look, propaganda is very effective when it comes to controlling the people's opinion. It's not normies' fault that they're tired and trying to go on with their lives while so much shit is happening around them, it's the fault of those who are in power. It also serves as a way to cope with reality. It would take some really extreme situation for normies to wake up and fight for themselves.
Once you understand and accept how all of this works, it gets easier to stand normie political views.>>65282
It's either that, or>Why do you look so sad?
When they tell you to go to salsa class if you want to make new friends. Always salsa class specifically for some reason, never any other kind of dance.
They tell me to go to church lmao. The only single men who go to church is significantly older or intensely creepy.
all the moids you like got taken?
I don't think other kinds of dance classes exist, or if they do they seem to be in short supply.
I would like to learn how to dances specifically from the 80s but where the hell do you even go for that
>Hey how's it going?
Does anyone else get bored by the mundaneness of saying hello to everyone at work each day? It's not a social dread for me, it's just that it feels like a wadte of effort and time, can we at least reduce it to saying hello once a week?
I haven’t seen a male aged between 16 and 35 at my church in years.
Yeah I hate the "how are you" kinda greeting, I wish we could just say hello or goo afternoon and leave it at that. Actually, not having to say anything every time you run into someone would be ideal.
>There's no reason not to have a job. McDonald's is always hiring.
They don't get how hard it can be for autistics and/or long term NEETS to get hired. Even at places that supposedly always "hire anybody" like McDonald's and Walmart.
>>68603>autists can't read emotions
normies whenever they see anyone>how are you
When I tell people I’m not really thinking about dating it’s either:
>ugh anon so true. men suck its not worth it.
Usually said by girls who are in relationships.
>but don’t you get lonely?
Usually said by moids.
Men project their need to be with women onto womens view of men. The whole idea of the lonely cat lady is an example of this and its super popular among the very type of guys who don't get female attention go figure.
>learning to love yourself is the first step to finding love
True. I mean that if you never received love or weren't shown love then how the fuck are you supposed to learn to love yourself.should've spoilered that tbh
Repeating things you say to provoke a reaction.
You: I don’t like toast
>Wow you just said you don’t like toast
I am I supposed to be amazed/shocked/horrified at what I literally just said?
You: I don’t like toast.
>Normie 1: Ok
Normie 2 enters
>Normie 1: Anon says they don’t like toast.
Ok? If I wanted Normie 2 to know I would tell them myself. Don’t take things I say out of context to provoke a reaction from Normie 2. Especially when you didn’t seem that interested when I told you.
You gals need to learn autistic confidence. Just take those "sigma mele" memes and apply them seriously, except in the context of autism.
Whenever a neurotypical (especially a moid) says something dumb and inconsequential, I just stare at them. I am not flustered, I am not embarrassed or awkward, I just have nothing to say in response to their empty statement.
Now THEY look like an idiot. They probably talk shit about me behind my back, but I don't give a shit. They can keep gossiping like children next to the water cooler, I am content with knowing that I have bigger balls than them, and I don't even have testicles. Pathetic.
Most based post on the site.
This one has most likely already been posted but still.
>you look sad anon
Probably because I am?
If you tell them that you're depressed:
>it's normal to be sad sometimes but being sad all the time?
As if I had to have one particular reason RIGHT NOW for my depression. Do you want me to tell you my whole life story, normie?
>why don't you smile more?
>you should smile more.
I tell them that it's exhausting for me to smile all the time.
I've once done this unironically and accidentally 4-5 years ago. A classmate walked up to me to ask me about some song. I raised my head up to look at him and just stared for a solid 2 minutes, I was both spaced out and too much of a retard to answer like a normal person. He got uncomfortable and walked away. It works.
>>57823>Start panicking when you're alone and absolutely hate it? Read a book, I don't care that you hate reading uninteresting stuff
>What did you do at the weekend?
If I did something interesting, I would have told you already. Why make me tell you that I did something boring, or worse, nothing? And if you point anything like this out, they get defensive and say:
>Just making conversation.
There's a whole world of topics to talk about but normies always insist on picking the post boring ones, either because they are boring or they desperately want you to feel forced to return the question so they can prattle on about their own boring lives.
>>69944>>What did you do at the weekend?
God I hate this one so much.
What do you want me to tell you? The truth? The truth that I've been in front of the computer all day doing shit you're not interested in?
Even if I have done something interesting, it doesn’t mean I want to tell them and have them commenting on it or asking stupid questions.
Exactly. It's like, why even ask? What are you gonna do after I tell you? Why do they have to
try to start a conversation all the damn time? A little silence every once in a while, at least, wouldn't be that bad. It's like they become extremely self-aware when they're stop talking (thus the concept of "awkward silence"), whereas for me it's the opposite.
This so much. You don’t know each other. You answer their questions politely but don’t engage further. They act like you were rude and snubbed them because there was some silence.
Why must NTs’ conversation preferences always be prioritised? I’d much rather we calmly sit in silence or have them talk passionately about their special interest and I just have to listen. Or I get to tell them all about something I find interesting.
But no, we have to talk about the weather and our boring weekend plans instead. It’s like NTs’ only special interest is themselves and they’ve never been forced to learn to reign in the special interest talk.
>>69953>have them talk passionately about their special interest and I just have to listen. Or I get to tell them all about something I find interesting.
They probably have no idea how to start such a conversation tbh. Do you?
If it’s relevant to the situation then it’s not hard. You just have to link it. I wish randomly throwing in interesting facts was more normalised though.
>>69955> I wish randomly throwing in interesting facts was more normalised though.
I would probably just start talking about my interests without warning tbh
It's possible to be well socialized as an autist, after a while of exposure, and self reflection.
The crucial thing is to understand, that those seemingly meaningless, dumb questions, smalltalk, etc., are not, and aren't meant to be, genuine conversation. It's more like a… social game. Both the questions and answers are meaningless in their literal content, but they have implied reasons behind being asked, and a particular answer gives some implied signal, and it's all this back and forth song and dance that neurotypicals understand intuitively (but not rationally), and engage in without even thinking.
It's almost a sort of second language on top of regular language, and the purpose of it is to test each other, see where everyone else is in the hierarchy, and other such "pack animal" things. The best analogy I can give is a "shit test", but more neutral and less explicitly mean.
Good thing is, because it's a game, it can be learned. And because it's a game, it can be won.
Autistics are even at an advantage here, because neurotypicals do all of this stuff subconsciously, and don't even notice they're doing it, while we are acutely aware, and can think about it rationally.
It was a game changer for me when I figured this out.
Socializing after that was like taking candy from a baby. I am constantly winning at a game that neurotypicals aren't even aware they're playing.
Wow anon, can you give us some tips?
Anon becomes an even bigger sperg, and thinks she's "winning" when people awkwardly disengage lol
>You're eating the same sandwich for lunch anon?
>It's so easy to make friends,
just go out more!
>If you want to meet people you should join my church's youth group!
>Why don't you wear makeup/shave your legs/wear uncomfortable blouses? You would feel so much better!
That last one is always so infuriating. Not everyone feels good when they put on some dumb bullshit to adhere to what society thinks a woman should look like. I already think I'm hot, I don't need facepaint to "improve" myself.
what NT's mean when they say this:>i dont think the mentally ill deserve love
the weird thing to me is that there are more women who adhere to these rules than women who don't, and even people in general wrt more shallow rules. people love rules so much it's unreal.
>Why didn't you answer the door when I knocked anon. I know you were there.
Why do normies never realise that even if someone is home, they can't always come to the door (shower, nap, etc). Or that you might just not want to speak to them right now, especially knocking with no warning. They always have this entitled attitude that because they want to speak to you, you must speak to them.
I hate this SO much. >Why didn't you open the door when I came for a surprise visit? I walked for 20 minutes to see you!
Because I didn't feel like apologizing for not wearing proper clothes at 9:00 on a sunday, for not cleaning up and not being able to offer a variety of drinks/food to my guest. At least write a message an hour in advance.
Some time ago a coworker made fun of her friend. She visited her two hours before the time they agreed on and talked about how she looked so different without make up and her hair done. How do those people not notice that THEY are the ones who are wrong?
>Haha Anon, you did a small weird but insignificant thing. I'm pointing it out and laughing at you so you can be paranoid about it for the rest of your life haha
>You should go outside.
>You should make some friends.
>You should do something this weekend.
I hate when normies give really obvious advice when you don't even ask for it. Of course I know sitting inside by myself is not considered healthy but clearly I'm fine with it and have my reasons for doing so.
It's incredibly patronising and makes me feel that I have to either pretend to take their advice, continue the same and feel them watching me out of "concern", or have to show my hand and explain in detail that I don't do these things because I'm ND and things that are good for NTs don't work the same for me.
I think she's the anon who made the masking threads, she gives a lot of tips there, she even replied to my cat noises comments
The poster that female spergs deserve, and definitely need right now.
>>69958>It's almost a sort of second language on top of regular language, and the purpose of it is to test each other, see where everyone else is in the hierarchy, and other such "pack animal" things.
I agree that in the context of humans this has been attuned to purely social signals, but this behavior applies to all animals, not just pack animals. Communicating status and power through displays and signals is done also by solitary creatures such as bears and lobsters.
>Good thing is, because it's a game, it can be learned. And because it's a game, it can be won.
Well, you're almost correct here, most of the social game is just proving you're a good sport that knows how to play. Not a bully, and not a victim, someone who knows how to play. Winning the social game is not about using whatever means necessary to "win", the actual victory comes from the display of actually being able to play.
>It's almost a sort of second language on top of regular language, and the purpose of it is to test each other, see where everyone else is in the hierarchy, and other such "pack animal" things. The best analogy I can give is a "shit test", but more neutral and less explicitly mean.
Autist discovers tone and body language exist.
Please, J. Peterson was my father, call me Mikhaila.
Now here's my advice for why you should eat nothing but steak for your autoimmune problems.
I'm so confused, I made that post and I didn't make the masking threads. Unless you mean something else?
>>70394>this behavior applies to all animals, not just pack animals. Communicating status and power through displays and signals is done also by solitary creatures
I would even go further and say that such communication occurs even between members of different species, and vertically across the food chain. Prey often signal to predators with displays (puffing up), or communicate that they're poisonous with colors. In fact, even plants do this. What is a brightly colored fruit if not a signal to an animal to eat it?
With this, we can actually state that the entire biosphere is a sort of society, with members that engage in social communication with each other.
>the social game is just proving you're a good sport that knows how to play.
Yes, but that doesn't mean there is no win condition, or a winner. Someone will always assert some more status in every interaction. Even simply by being better at the game. If you are witty, you can win at banter, you can resist "pokes and prods" at your security better, if you're domineering, you can "shit test" someone else's confidence, etc.
This happens even in friendly environments, unconsciously. If you display more wit, or intelligence, or confidence, etc., in a friend group, you will be recognized as such within the friend group, making you more likeable, and so on.
>Autist discovers tone and body language exist.
I'd say it's more discovering what they exist FOR. Everyone knows they exist.
Well, it takes some experience and real world practice, and if you don't have an innate sense for it, it can be difficult.
If you don't have a "social sensor", you will have to do it experimentally. One way is to compensate is to gauge the reactions of the other people. Both the person you're engaging with, and the people who maybe in the presence of interaction.
Wit is the easiest one, because you immediately see a very obvious result: do people laugh or smile?
More subtle effects are harder to observe. But there is always an outcome and reaction to every interaction.
For example, in displays of confidence, one side will eventually concede. Like, if there's a dig at your confidence, and you resist by reasserting your confidence, and then you make your own assertion, etc., one part will eventually disengage, usually amicably.
It can be as simple as the other person saying "ah, I see" or "Okay" at the end of a conversation, and moving towards winding down the particular interaction. They can end the interaction, or switch to a different interaction, by changing the subject, etc.
I have to note though, despite the sterile language I'm using, those interactions are NOT supposed to be passive aggressive or dickish. It's a "game", not real "social politics". These games are to social politics what playfighting in animals is to real fighting. Training for the real thing. Which also happens, if you're in an real competitive/toxic environment, with real stakes. So it's actually beneficial to learn this beyond just being less awkward.
On this point, I have to stress that you have to learn to "lose gracefully". Do the same thing: concede peacefully. This is especially important when you're practicing. Appearing as passive aggressive or thin skinned when you lose signals that you're actually taking the "game" seriously, so they won't want to play with you any more.
Also, being a good sport, admitting a "loss" and brushing it off casually, giving "credit" to the winner for their performance, asserts security and confidence in itself. This is commonly referred to as "being chill".
I'll reiterate that none of these gestures should be explicit, or said out loud lol, they're more like gestures and body movements, and conversation flow. You can adopt such gestures from watching other people interact, as long as they're socially healthy and know how to "play the game", aren't passive aggressive dicks, etc.
All of that said, I don't think it's a good idea to experiment on your real social life. I think online interactions can actually help here. And I mean in a "they don't know you IRL and you don't have stakes" way, not in an imageboard sense. Like, a small hobby group that's not very important. Developing this skill anonymously is a safe playground without consequences.
Eventually, though, you will have to transfer the online skills to IRL, and that's a learning process in of itself.
>>70430>On this point, I have to stress that you have to learn to "lose gracefully". Do the same thing: concede peacefully. This is especially important when you're practicing. >Appearing as passive aggressive or thin skinned when you lose signals that you're actually taking the "game" seriously, so they won't want to play with you any more.
See this is where you lens of "playing to win" breaks apart. People don't hate sore losers for "taking the game seriously", they hate sore losers because they're fucking awful to lost with or against. Yes, there are win and fail conditions, but what is far more important in this context, and almost all social contexts that a normal person will encounter in their life, is that other people need to know that you are good at playing the general concept of a game overall, that includes being able to win well, and being able to lose well.>All of that said, I don't think it's a good idea to experiment on your real social life. I think online interactions can actually help here. And I mean in a "they don't know you IRL and you don't have stakes" way, not in an imageboard sense. Like, a small hobby group that's not very important. Developing this skill anonymously is a safe playground without consequences.
I'd argue that doing it in anyway not associated with real life will yes be good practice, but you do, eventually, at some point, actually have to practice IRL.
If you lose gracefully, you can actually win more good boy points than the person who actually won, putting you at the top again.
People dislike sore winners more than likeable losers.
I'd count that as winning, since the "score" is how much others like you.
Let me understand you then, when you say "winning the game" is helpful, you don't mean the particular isolated games, but the overall game which implies "being a good player". The game of all games, or, the "meta"-game? Winning that game helps you in life?
Well, not to sound like a BPD narcissist, but there is a meta-game on top of the meta-game.
As in, after you have raked in your GBPs in the social circle, you can start… cashing them in. For various purposes. And then you're winning a completely different game altogether.
I hope I won't have to elaborate on this further.
Your post reminded me of one summer as a child when my family sat me down and they (particularly my older normie sister) asked me why I was such a loser who only wanted to stay home and use the computer/watch TV/read books/etc. I didn't want to go outside because I didn't have many friends and didn't like doing outdoor summer activities like sports or swimming. My sister could have suggested some activities to do with me outside the house if she was so concerned but she despised me because she could already sense I would never be a normalfag like her.
my dad is so desperate for me to be normal that while on vacation he literally said "hey theres some guys by that pool bar, ill give you money to buy a drink, why dont you talk to them" and i just went back to watching anime
>>57823>its so funny how blunt and monotone you are haha
i literally do not understand social cues
>>57823>Normie approaches>It has no words>Just an expression>I look around, what does it want?>He maintains eye contact then walks away>I cannot determine which of us is more retarded and autistic
>why are you sitting alone?
>look at her, sitting all alone, she must be so lonely
holy shit why are they like this?
not only that, not desiring social interaction is considered a whole symptom of mental illness. thanks normalfags.
I hate this, they can't even let us be ourselves when alone. We're happy and not harming anyone. Why do they care so much? I would never dream of telling them that they spend 5 hours a day talking about nothing and zero hours reading or studying. Yet the opposite is ok despite it being the more vapid choice?
Does anyone else hate when normies ask you constantly for your reason why you don't wanna do something? Like why cant it ever be just "because i dont want to do that" plain and simple
> you're pretty when you smile
> You should smile more
> Wish you wouldn't hide your face
> It's a shame you're single
> Thinly veiled sexual harassment
My bad, I thought you were the anon who gave a lot of advice to other spergs in the masking threads.>>70450>she despised me
You're right, when normies keep telling you that you should going out more an be more social, they're not doing that to help you. Otherwise, they would be suggesting activities to you, or invite you to social events, which actual nice normies do. But when they're not, it's definitely a form of social shaming. I think they're doing this to reassure themselves about being normal and "healthy". If they do it in front of other normies, they're doing this to affirm themselves as normal and part of the group, by pointing out the contrast between them, and you, the "loser" weirdo. You have every right to despise them, because they are actively despising you when doing this. Shroom anon is right.
oh god this
This really annoying old lady at my work is constantly admonishing people for looking at their phones and not talking to each other.
I'm like… I WANT to look at my phone! I don't want to talk to you or anyone else in this miserable hell.
>>71217>This really annoying old lady at my work
Let me guess: she’s also technologically illiterate and constantly forgetful? Dealing with old people can be so annoying.
>Oh hi anon! We were just talking about you!
>Nice to meet you, I've heard so much about you!
>Speak of the devil!
Why am I supposed to be happy that you were talking about me behind my back?
you deserve better than that im so sorry
Thanks but I was just talking in general I’m too much of a hikikomori to have had this happen to me in a while.
NDs seem to really like that people are talking about them for some reason.
>Autists have no empathy
>Stop bring difficult. There’s nothing wrong with the lights/food/noise. The instructions I gave you are easy enough to follow. You’re such a weirdo.
as someone who has to deal with an autist it gets really annoying really fast. It's a burden having to be someone's manager and it's a burden having to constantly consider any tiny break in routine that would set you off. Like having a fucking meltdown because the mac and cheese water smells too strong, just suck it up. We all have to suppress our inner selves at least somewhat to not be a burden to other people.
I empathize and understand your situation perfectly but it's also a lot for autists to ask that all of their very bizarre and tedious demands are met. You could also have some empathy and not be a total spaz over mundane shit, and learn how to take care of simple tasks.
There's a difference between finding certain behaviors/symptoms annoying or scary, and expecting/thinking it's possible/easy to suck it up or elevate symptoms of your mental illness without medication, just by your own willpower. It's like thinking it takes the same strength to stop being lazy and do something and getting out of bed as a severely depressed person
Are they male by any chance? And diagnosed from a young age? I feel like women who got late diagnosed would be more likely to mask that type of thing even if they were dying inside.
Saying that, some NTs will have a meltdown because you look at them wrong, don’t say hello right, etc. It’s not just NDs that get upset over petty things but NTs doing it is more accepted.
Lol I'm a female autist who tried dating a male autist recently. He legit SCREAMED once when something set him off and he was tired/overwhelmed, and when he was sad he yelled and sobbed uncontrollably like an insane child.
I could not handle it at all, in fact I think I can handle this stuff less than non-autists because I've been so ashamed of myself my entire life and learnt to control every single thing I do to seem more "normal". Meanwhile, he'd be an unabashed retard without feeling bad and couldn't understand why I was so inhibited… Maybe because I was bullied and not coddled?
Male autists are always loud fucking MESSES and get away with it, I'm probably going to be depressed and borderline mute my entire life
Just talking too much in general about nothing.
I moved to the capital recently and the staff here are so irritating, like Lush staff on speed. It's as if they are all trained to be constantly talking, upbeat in an over the top way to the point that it becomes a bit unsettling, and just generally wasting your time for no apparent reason.
It's not that I think they should act like emotionless service robots or anything (I appreciate that their job is probably boring) but I wish quiet staff were more appreciated or even if they just gave training to all staff about how to modify their energy levels in response to the feeling they are getting from the client.
Worst of all are the ones that feel the need to comment and critique what you are buying at the till. Why would anyone want that?
I know autists are known for talking too much as well but at least they have a specific topic to talk about, even if it is a niche interest. And they seldom work in shops anyway.
I just finished this manga and I was super annoyed with how it ended. I wish the anime had gone just a little bit further in the story and stopped, it would've been great then. It annoyed me even more to read in the author's notes that the story was based on a film, which he copied, but then tacked on a long, excruciatingly shit ending. >>69958
This is true and all, but normies engage in such ridiculous microscopic examinations of each other during their conversations, that I can guarantee you, you will never pass as normal to them. NEVER.
It sickens me how much of human behavior is autopilot, and self-awareness is like a thin veneer on top of the ape-robots we are. Talking to normies is like having an automatic searchlight passing relentlessly over your face, but instead of the sentry pointing at you and screaming, all you get is>yeah, that's cool
or some impenetrable micro-expression of disapproval.
Normie: Anon, you didn't say hi to me or ask how I was when you came in. That's really rude.
Anon: I think forcing people to follow pointless rigid social norms that waste time is rude. Interrupting someone when they are in the middle of something, especially when you don't have anything to tell them, is rude. Making them acknowledge your presence for no reason is rude and narcissistic. Inquiring into someone's emotional state and situation is pretty intrusive and rude too if you don't know them well. Making a weird face when they answer the question honestly is rude and so making them paranoid from the start of the conversation that they will answer incorrectly is also rude. Or pretending that you care about someone's situation but forcing them to say they are fine when they might not be is rude. Drawing their attention to the fact that you don't actually care about them when it could have been left ambiguous is rude. Also getting upset because of a small thing and then confronting them about it when you could have realized they clearly meant no malice and that them saying "hello how are you" or not is inconsequential is rude. Not realizing that your emotions are not the most important thing and that some people might think differently is very rude in my opinion.
Normie: You don't get to say what is rude.
>It was great to see you, let's do this again next week!
>Yes, I still want to meet but I'm really really busy. No, really busy next week too. I'll call you…sometime.
I don't understand why they say they want to meet and then get annoyed when you want to meet. It's one of these things that enough normies do it that it's not considered rude, even though it should be. Just don't make fake plans. It's not that hard. Or at least they could be honest about it when you try to follow up instead of still pretending they want to do it when they clearly don't.
>never been in a relationship
"are you gay??"
I hate that too
Also when they cancel plans at the last minute
And they are lying about being suddenly busy or sick or smth
Bitch, just tell me you don't want to
It still will be rude and I will be questioning any of their promises later, but at least it is better than obviously lying
>Are you ok?
Asked just because you're quiet. Because quiet = being in a bad mood, apparently. It angers me even more when I would be asked this by people who should clearly know after a few interactions that that's just how I am. But I'm guessing they just want to play dumb and continue to stigmatize quietness.
>>75047>Because quiet = being in a bad mood, apparently.
For normies unironically yes.>But I'm guessing they just want to play dumb and continue to stigmatize quietness.
I don't think there's a stigma around being quiet as much as responding negatively when people actually try to talk to you.>but I only react negatively because I don't want to be talked to!
And that's what gives you a stigma, not the being quiet part, the "not wanting to engage with others at all" part.
I assure you, no one in the history of ever that has asked me that, when I'm just quietly standing around minding my own business, has done so because they actually care if I'm ok. It would always be obnoxious, annoying people who would talk me like I am retarded and treated me as such. ..Because of being quiet.
>I don't think there's a stigma around being quiet as much as responding negatively when people actually try to talk to you.
You might not be in the U.S., or in the Southern U.S. specifically. Being quiet is extremely stigmatized here. So actually, being an asshole will garner more respect than being quiet. Being quiet will get you treated like an alien or retarded, like I was. People respect assholes more, because they can at least show they have intelligence and dignity. Plus, I don't think I ever responded "negatively". Unless you mean passive. I just responded "Yeah, I'm fine." while continuing to be quiet. Which was usually met with a "You sure?" At that point, it would be more than clear to me than person is just trying to pry into why I'm threatening their image of what a normal person should be like - an incessant babblemouth.
>>75056>I assure you, no one in the history of ever that has asked me that, when I'm just quietly standing around minding my own business, has done so because they actually care if I'm ok.
I don't think they care if you're okay either. What they do care about is if you at least respond to the concept of them caring about you, showing the tiniest bit of pro-social attitude.>It would always be obnoxious, annoying people who would talk me like I am retarded and treated me as such. ..Because of being quiet.
Because those are the type of people to begin conversations unprompted.>So actually, being an asshole will garner more respect than being quiet.
This is everywhere and is a common pattern, not just special to the Southern US.>Being quiet will get you treated like an alien or retarded, like I was. People respect assholes more, because they can at least show they have intelligence and dignity
Mostly because being an asshole gives off the social signals correlated with being intelligent and having dignity (i.e. confidence).>Plus, I don't think I ever responded "negatively". Unless you mean passive. I just responded "Yeah, I'm fine." while continuing to be quiet. Which was usually met with a "You sure?"
Passivity with a blunt projection can be interpreted as dismissiveness. I know you don't mean for it to come off that, but given your later comment and how you describe all of this I can make rough guesses as to how you are responding outside of the literal wording of the response. Am I wrong? Did you reply with a giant smile on your face whenever anyone asked?>At that point, it would be more than clear to me than person is just trying to pry into why I'm threatening their image of what a normal person should be like - an incessant babblemouth.
Ah see there you go, I can assure you that attitude probably shows up in your demeanor. Maybe you're just one of those rare types that can seethe utter hatred at anyone talking to and not display it all in your mannerisms though. Do you happen to be a psychopath that just masks that perfectly?
>I don't think they care if you're okay either. What they do care about is if you at least respond to the concept of them caring about you, showing the tiniest bit of pro-social attitude.
People do that with questions like "How are you?", but who in the world uses it with "Are you ok?" Your "social" and quiet people's "social" clearly mean different things then, so stop trying to force it on them. I see it as a question that should only be reserved out of genuine sincerity, not as a conversation starter.
>Because those are the type of people to begin conversations unprompted.
And I'm the type of person that does not like having unprompted conversations. I don't start being invasive with them as to why they are like that, so why do they try to with me?
>This is everywhere and is a common pattern, not just special to the Southern US.
Not really. In the country I'm originally from and in most of East Asia, what you say is actually more valued than how much you say. People in these areas don't usually like making small talk with strangers in public either. If you try to, you may even end up getting branded as crazy or stupid.
>Did you reply with a giant smile on your face whenever anyone asked?>Do you happen to be a psychopath that just masks that perfectly?
If I follow this kind of advice, I think I may actually end up looking like one. Do you happen to be the type of person who's OK with random men that approach women with poker faces minding their own business and tell them they "should smile more"? You've done a great job gaslighting me like they do, by making me sound like some miser when I just want to not have be a copy of the person talking to me.
>>75063>People do that with questions like "How are you?", but who in the world uses it with "Are you ok?"
These people. In general.> Your "social" and quiet people's "social" clearly mean different things then, so stop trying to force it on them.
Why are you projecting this image onto me? I don't like the normies do this, I just know they're not doing it out of a sense of malice as opposed to standard social signaling. We can have a discussion about whether social conventions are right or wrong if you want, what I'm discussing with you is what they are instead. Do you want to talk about whether they are right or wrong?>I see it as a question that should only be reserved out of genuine sincerity, not as a conversation starter.
And I see "How are you?" in a similar fashion. Alas, we live in a fallen world where social conveniences are socially defined.
>And I'm the type of person that does not like having unprompted conversations.
Trust me, you come off as one if you word things half as strongly as you are right now IRL. >I don't start being invasive with them as to why they are like that, so why do they try to with me?
For the same reason that you don't try to get invasive with them: personal disposition. You are prone to not for the same reason they are prone ''too'', personality vectors in regards to social outcomes. You just have different base dispositions.>In the country I'm originally from and in most of East Asia, what you say is actually more valued than how much you say.
That's just cultural dressing you're hiding behind, the individual assholes operate differently but the base pattern remains the same. Everyone talks less, but the assholes still talk more than the "normal ones". How it manifests is different, not whether or not it is present.>If I follow this kind of advice, I think I may actually end up looking like one.
Pro-tip: if you look like a psychopath, you don't look like a psychopath.>Do you happen to be the type of person who's OK with random men that approach women with poker faces minding their own business and tell them they "should smile more"
Okay with? About as "okay with" it as the fact man do the majority of raping and murdering. I could either deny that it is fact that exists and just pretend it isn't the case, or I can accept that it exists.>You've done a great job gaslighting me like they do, by making me sound like some miser when I just want to not have be a copy of the person talking to me.
Ah see there we go, now you don't want to be a "copy". Well, what is your end goal? To be completely left alone? If so, why do you care about them "treating you like an alien"? In my personal experience being "treated like an alien" makes people leave you alone, if that's your end goal, why wouldn't you desire that? You phrase it here.>Being quiet will get you treated like an alien or retarded
Certainly doesn't sound positive.
Normie women talk about dating and their boyfriends too damn much. I'm sure they have other interesting stuff going on in their lives but relationships is what they choose to buzz in my ear about.
They weren't actually talking about you, it's a meaningless platitude used to segue someone else into your conversation
I'm autistic and couldn't even successfully fill out walmart's application form. I ended up getting a job at publix deli by happening to meet with the hiring manager and coming up with some clever lies but quit because I couldn't stand it. I'm slow to pick up new skills and they just dump you in front of a computer that doesn't teach you shit then expect you to know how to clean dangerous meat slicers and put up with customers who barely speak english asking for something not on the menu while all your coworkers abandon you when there are three separate lines of people you have to tend to.
Plus my boss told me I had to appear happier and I'd kill myself if I was forced to smile for retarded boomers.