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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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kissing Anonymous 58272

going to be meeting up with my ldr boyfriend for the first time soon. i’ve never kissed anyone before and i’m so terrified to try in case he thinks i’m a bad kisser. help me cc!

Anonymous 58274

If he would break up with you over bad kissing he is a bad boyfriend.

Anonymous 58305


There's not much advice to give. Nobody has any idea what they're doing the first time. Just take it slow and don't try to do weird shit you've seen in porn. But as >>58274 said, it really doesn't matter. If he's a reasonable person he won't be upset in any way.

Anonymous 58306

There are three types of kisses, pecks, peaches and alfalfa. Say these words out loud, and you will feel the motions your mouth will make with different types of kissing. I don't recommend going for alfalfa unless you want to fuck this specific moid that badly.

Anonymous 58307

in the same boat here. what outfit are you thinking of wearing? i might wear an oversized hoodie to feel comfortable and less anxious around him. even if it makes me look fatter than usual and isn't 'my style'. i just want to be comfortable as possible and not self conscious around him.

Anonymous 58309

I was going to wear a dress but I feel like I might look like I’m trying too hard to impress him, gonna wear jeans and a baggy t shirt like I usually do and try and feel comfortable

Anonymous 58316

ye that might be a little too tryhard if thats not what you normally wear. unless its a casual summer dress, then that isnt too unusual

Anonymous 58321

I’m always terrified at the idea of LDRs. What if you meet and one of you is really into it but the other isn’t? What if you or they look 10x worse in real life? What if one of your breath stinks or you don’t like the other ones natural body scent? It’s all so scary.

Anonymous 58335

When you’re in love, all those worries dissipate.

Anonymous 58336


Idk I have nothing to add but it just reminds me of those people on 90 day fiance where the guy (suspending disbelief that it might not be totally scripted) wore the lady's heavily filtered face and he unintentionally highlighted the incongruence while she met him for the first time. Still gives me hearty keks to this day

Normal relationships where you're not pretending to look 20 yrs younger are probably fine and unless you're with someone really nitpicky, you should be alright. If anything, most people look worse on webcam if they're not posing and filtering the whole time. Use mouthwash? Like, it's the same as any other relationship there?

Anonymous 58338

90 day fiance is a mess that I totally love to cringe at.
also >her face

Anonymous 58351

Sure but you have to get over that initial hurdle of meeting. Seeing and feeling someone in person is totally different to behind a computer screen.

Anonymous 58356

I've had long distance friends and as long as you get acquainted with them via webcam and voice, it usually translates well irl, especially with female friends. Although I've had success with male long distance turned real life friends, too

Anonymous 58367

good luck OP! I forgot what it feels like to kiss but I know it comes naturally and the thought of it is more scary than it actually is so my only advice is have a little I repeat a LITTLE to drink to feel less anxious and I really hope you are meeting in public first and reporting your location to family or a friend. Take a picture of his plates if he has a car and send it to your mother you can never be too careful (maybey ou can but just try stay safe ok).

Anonymous 58370

Keep your tongue out of his mouth for the first few minutes, it should build up slowly!!! It'll come to you.

Anonymous 58377

It's different for romantic relationships. I've met online friends multiple times and they were all positive experiences, I was really surprised actually, no awkwardness at all, felt like meeting old friends. Never done LDRs, but I assisted to a friend meeting her LDR for the first time and she was completely turned off by him, she said she seemed very different online (more confident, more relaxed).

That being said, OP, I don't think you should be worried about being a bad kisser. I can't imagine what kind of turboslut would have an issue with their partner who they know never kissed anyone (I assume) being a bad kisser. I don't think you'll have any issues unless your bf has some ideas of who and what you are that aren't accurate. Sadly though, that is possible. The reason why some people aren't attracted to eachother anymore after they meet irl is because people tend to project their ideals and desires onto their (potential) partners and that's much easier to do online than in person. I don't think there's much you can do about that (other than trying to make sure you're not doing it on him), I know it's a bit scary, but try to be relaxed and act naturally. If you feel like kissing him do it. Chances are he might make the move before you get a chance to anyways. Good luck!

Anonymous 58392

>she was completely turned off by him
That’s what I’m afraid of :/
To be honest the only thing I can think would turn me off in a guy in person is either a)bad breath or BO/hygiene or b)acted like a total rude asshole and was mean to me.
I don’t think I would care if a guy was shy or less confident in person. But I’m always scared he’ll give me the ick somehow.
As far as I know though, most people actually look uglier on webcam than irl.

Anonymous 58393

>most people look uglier on webcam than irl
Not sure if this applies to everyone but it definitely applies to my ex. I remember when he went of webcam, his nose looked huge, and the rest of his face looked skewed and odd. He also looked very skinny. Then I met him in person and he legit looked like a model and was a lot bigger and bulkier (in a good way) than I thought. Honestly he was like a 3/10 on cam and then a 8/10 irl. I think he just had a really cameraphobic face lol.

Anonymous 58395

Went on webcam**
But yeah I have screenshots of him on cam and pictures of him from when we met up and it’s hilarious how different he looks in both of them.

Anonymous 58436

as someone who used to abuse snow filters and hides crooked teeth (never smiles with mouth open), only takes photos from certain angles, etc
this shit scares me lmao I feel like I go from a 7.5 to a 4 in person

Anonymous 58437

I think that applies to 90% of people nowadays. Everyone edits their pictures and videos to at least some degree now.

Anonymous 58487

>learn to love yourself
>go out and befriend people
>one of them will fall in love with you
Heh, if only it was that easy. I’ve been trying that for years and still no results.

Anonymous 58495

No we dont, jesus, some of you people are delusional. Editing your pics and putting so much effort into hiding your physical flaws will only make you more insecure.

Anonymous 69029

It's really easy actually. My bf told me I am really good at kissing and I legit have only ever kissed him. We both are really weird though and do things like kissing with our eyes open sometimes and taking turns sucking on the other's tongue and stuff like that LOL

Anonymous 69033

i still do this and my online crush thinks i look better than i actually do but he says he wants to meet in the future. i feel like he would stop liking me if he saw me and i regret catfishing now

Anonymous 69050

Weird seeing this thread revived. The guy I made this post about broke my heart and I ended up having my first kiss during a drunken sad one night stand.

Anonymous 69051

Oh no anon. Do you want to tell us what happened?

Anonymous 69053

"broke my heart" sort of implies it's beyond saving, scrote

Anonymous 69054

obviously it wasn’t the smart or right thing to do but i felt so awful after he had essentially declared me unlovable and i was desperate not to be alone to prove something to myself or him.

Anonymous 69136

wait so did you end up kissing him at all? im assuming he wasn’t the drunk one night stand.

Anonymous 69146

No, I didn’t. I’ll just tell the whole story i’m procrastinating anyway. Weird girl meets boy online, first boy who I ever really clicked with, mutual obsession ensues etc etc. Goes well for a while, I really like him, he really likes me, we get along really well etc etc. We were supposed to meet up but I could tell he was getting less and less interested whilst I was still obsessed dare I say in love. He basically wouldn’t talk to me unless it was sexual. So at one point I confronted him about how he’s never around and he ghosted me after apologising to me. At that point I didn’t really have any friends, family situation was very precarious so this tipped me over the edge. I felt really awful about the fact that he left, I was really disgusted with myself. So I started drinking a lot and just acting like a retard over this guy. Then one weekend I decide to go visit a friend, I ended up getting embarrassingly drunk and called him again and again to no avail, felt even worse and decided to sleep with this random dude to make myself feel better, it didn’t work and I was talking about my ex the whole time. I’m still not completely over him tbh and it still gets me down that he’s never coming back. The random dude was nice though shoutout redacted for not getting mad when I threw up all over your floor.

Anonymous 69149

thats pretty sad all the way around, i dont like how he took advantage of you being down too. I think you should make distance away from men in general and refocus what you really want

Anonymous 69326


I'm sorry it didn't work out, OP. When I had a LDR we talked about everything. We often talked about sex too and we fantasized about how our first meeting would go. Is it weird to talk about that? Is it weird to not talk about it? I don't know, but we often shared sexual and romantic fantasies with each other. We both masturbated to them often. The thought that just our words got each other so hot was really exciting to me. It felt like a purer form of love to me.
We definitely would have greet each other with a kiss and we planned to have sex on the first night too.

In the end it sadly didn't work out. He didn't like the concept of a LDR and broke it off, because it seemed too unrealistic to come to Germany, when he seemed very settled in the US. Still a virgin and haven't gotten laid. Feels very bad. I wish we met at least once.

Anonymous 69448

I’m currently in a LDR and I love him so much but that’s what’s making me want to break things off because I know there’s a chance he might reject me and think I’m gross irl and honestly the idea of being rejected by someone like that who means soooooo fucking much to me. I don’t think I could bear it, especially because I know even if he stinks like shit or is secretly 5ft1 or has yellow teeth I will still find him my ideal in every way.

Anonymous 69449

Sounds like you got involved with another cumbrain moid who cant handle any form of delayed gratification and gets bored after the nudes have been laid down. Plenty more where that came from. Sorry it didn’t work out OP but you dodged a bullet.

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