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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Distant boyfriend or needy girlfriend? Anonymous 58722

I have been in a ldr with this guy for about 2 months. The earlier weeks were really nice. After that, work happened and both of us got kinda swamped with it.

I did try to still make time for him by texting/calling him at night, dedicating atleast 15 min or more for him. But when he was the one packed by work, he ended up ignoring me. He texts me at late night saying he loves me or any texts that states he is horny.

Everytime I initiate the calls or even if he did, he would only be doing work. I asked him for 5-15 mins of his time yet, it was said to be unfair to him as this project is really important to him. I faced a failure in one of my projects and he couldn’t be there to console me as he was too caught up with work.

Earlier, we have fought due to other small things like him following half-naked women, cursing at me casually, joking about finding a new girlfriend etc. He apologised for everything and told he would fit it, which he did.

Every issue was brought up by me, which he also pointed out, including the current issue, about me not getting any proper attention for the past 3 weeks or so. We had a deal that we would set a time to call, which I suggested, yet he would conveniently forget about it. If I called first, he would just say he is busy. We’ve discussed about the calls thrice.

I broke up with him once because of this reason. He asked me for a few more days as his project would finish. So, I decided to give him a chance.

2 days after his project finished, I hit him up, called him and all, which he declined and texted me for abit, instead. That night, I clearly told him that I really want to talk to him and wanted his attention. He said he’s tired with work and wanted to chill abit, stating he’ll call later, which he never did. He went out with his friends and partied.

The next day, I jokingly texted him to prove his love to me, asking me to show his love to me. He got annoyed and told me to chill. He wants to play video games and will check up on me later. He apologised for not being present enough for me. I didn’t reply to his text and neither did he called.

A few days has passed without anything from him. What should I do?

Anonymous 58723


You've done the right thing breaking up with him though you should have done it much earlier. He's not worth your time. Focus on improving yourself. Also, pic related

Anonymous 58725

> So, I decided to give him a chance.
I didn't see this. Run anon, and quick.

Anonymous 58731



Yikes, you deserve better. This moid sounds lame. I've been there and done that…let it go before you develop more feelings, he seems douchey and only capable of thinking for himself…this shouldn't be happening. He doesn't seem willing to change anyway. You're better off in the long run. It's him not you.
Sending lots of warmth to you!

Anonymous 58732


It takes two to tango. A relationship is a two way street of give and take. If you're constantly giving, you'll get exploited and end up used.
If a man were really into you and excited about you, he'd drop EVERYTHING that he's doing just to spend time with you. He'd see spending time with you as worthwhile and actually enjoy your company. This man sounds like he's avoiding you. Or maybe he's so stressed from work he needs to have some alone time and is too burnt out to chat with another human being? Is he that introverted?
Anyway, the man you're dealing with either has poor time management or just isn't that into you to make it work.
Find a new guy who tries to make it work! I think a green flag would show itself in this situation. A green flag man would adjust his schedule to coordinate with yours. Or he'd actually show up to the agreed upon time. Too many rain checks like that… ah, I think you should find a new guy to get into ldr with, anon. Sorry to break the bad news.

Anonymous 58940

If a relationship feels like a chore it's not worth it. I used to be in a LDR and having to make time to chat and text eventually became very annoying. Now it wasn't because I wanted to talk, it's that I had to talk like it or not.
I currently have a normal relationship and it isn't even comparable.

Anonymous 58952

If he cared for you, he would make an effort to be with you. You are not being needy, you are asking for breadcrumbs and he still doesn't deliver. Love yourself and dump him.

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