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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Punish bf for forgetting our plans Anonymous 59438

My bf and I were supposed to watch an anime yesterday, we’re LDR, and he forgot that we made plans a week ago.

Problem is this happens a huge majority of the time. He forgets I made plans. I say I because he never sets up plans with me I’m always the one having to set things up.

He also almost never calls me. The few times he did was when he was driving to fucking Taco Bell. He tells me how much he loves and misses me but his actions do not show it.

How can I punish him for missing plans for the 10th time.

Anonymous 59439

>How can I punish him for missing plans?
Just stop making plans. Or make plans for things he enjoys more than you do, and then make no effort to remind him until after you've missed them.
>inb4 "but that punishes me as much as it punishes him!"
If you're in a relationship with someone, there's rarely a way to punish them without also punishing yourself.

Anonymous 59440

Why are you even dating him?

Anonymous 59441

A week ago? I usually don't know what i'll feel like doing tomorrow. Do you really need a plan for something like watching anime?

Anonymous 59451

Because I love him

Ikr, he’s busy with work and friends and doesnt make time for me so I have to assert myself and make him hang out with me (online lol cause ldr)

Anonymous 59454


Oh, that explains things. Have you already met irl?

Anonymous 59459

really hate to say this but if he's "missing" plans this often he's very likely blowing you off. Like 10 times? and not bothering to make time for you especially since a lot of LDRs involve having to sort each other's schedules? Have you talked to him about this? If yes, then his retorts of "loving" and caring for you sound like he's trying to blow off the issue.
I'd give him an ultimatum if I was in your position, but idk. Up to you. good luck

Anonymous 59470

Yeah we went to college together and dated then for 2 years now we’re ldr cause both out of college.

I’ve already talked to him about this before and complained that he never makes time for me and always pushes me to the side. He says it’s cause he’s busy. I never ask him to miss hanging out with his friends. I ask what times work for him. So multiple times have I set something up with him and he’s forgotten. It’s pissing me off.

Anonymous 60199

Cheat on him, preferably with someone he knows or is especially intimidated by.

Anonymous 60231

internet "boyfriends" are not real boyfriends anon.

Anonymous 60232

What's the point of LDR? You can stay as friends and avoid most of the problems from a relationship, you aren't going to get the physical intimacy or affection either way. I had an online friend for years and we both knew we liked eachother, but there was no point in a LDR, because we already watched movies and all that stuff. Unless you want to get lewd with sexting, I don't get LDR at all
Why? Better leave him and that's it.

Anonymous 60234

Sorry your LDR didn’t work out anon

Anonymous 60242

To punish him, duh.

Anonymous 60247

Why waste time and energy on that? I think cheating just to punish a bad partner is childish and it's giving too much attention to someone who probably doesn't feel the same way abouy you.

Anonymous 60258

Because the guy made OP feel bad and cheating makes men feel awful, it destroys them.

Anonymous 60267

That's true, but isn't going to make OP feel better. People who cheat, usually end up feeling bad for it, even if the partner was bad to them.

Anonymous 60269

>he made you feel bad
>so you should make him feel AWFUL
This kind of emotional one-upmanship is why none of you should be in relationships.

Anonymous 60270

i don't think most men who mistreat us actually care if we cheat on them. i have the tendency to be spiteful with men because i know most of them are beyond being reached emotionally and mentally, but the truth is that such behavior will just end with you sleeping with someone you didn't even want to really sleep with, and feeling 10x more alone. like many men, OP's boyfriend doesn't contact her and likely doesn't care about her all that much if she needs to beg for his time. doubt he would care if she cheated, honestly.

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