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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Cheating Anonymous 60135

I've been in a ldr for quite a while, and its all going amazing. Still, lately I cannot help to think that my boyfriend - who truly loves me - could be tempted to cheat in the future (or already tought about doing it). I know he wouldnt, cause he is very sensitive about my feelings and liked me for 2 years already (even tho I dumped him the first time we tried dating).
Anyways, I've been cheated before and thats probably why this still haunts me, but I just can stop this feeling and its destroying me. Already asked him about it. He comforted me saying he would never do it, and I know he was speaking truth.
I trully love him, but I cant control those feelings. How do you deal with this?

Anonymous 60136

ldr are a joke

Anonymous 60194

Plenty of relationships start out as LDRs. Sorry yours didn’t work out lol.

Anonymous 60195



Op here, thanks for saying that! I'm deeply insecure with others opinion on having a ldr but tought at least here I wouldnt be judged lol. Really dont wanna break up with him.

Anonymous 60207

Last time I checked I think it’s almost half of all relationships begin online nowadays

Anonymous 60255

Yeah, im glad its kind of a common thing now!! Idk, people are just mean.

Anonymous 60264


All you can do is try and have faith and not worry overmuch.

Anonymous 60284

i cheated on my ldr bf and got a real bf instead lmao

Anonymous 60327


Thanks for the advice, appreciate it! I'll try to use logic when feeling, even tho its very very hard.

God, lol. Did he ever found out?

Anonymous 60335

haha lain walkan teh monke

Anonymous 60345

A man is only as loyal as his options. So if your bf is somewhat socially stunted, shy and scared of talking to girls, obviously you’re going to have less likelihood of being cheated on. If your bf is forward, confident and can talk to girls easily, then youre more likely to be cheated on. Of course this isn’t a golden rule but in general the more inhibited and introverted and shy a guy is the less likely he is to cheat. This is why the only guys I ever embarked on e-relationships with were guys who were really awkward and shy (which personally I find quite cute anyway)

Bear in mind that how you get them is also often how you lose them, so if you met online, there is always the chance he could be talking to other girls too. This is usually obvious by them leaving you on read for many hours or taking a long time to reply, leaving long gaps while speaking, short answers etc. Its so easy to add people on platforms like discord and start talking and the truth is you never really know if a guy is talking to you exclusively or not, also discord and other chat platforms get a reputation for only having unattractive people on them but I’ve met a bunch of very attractive people on those platforms so you never know if he could potentially add a Stacy. Basically just follow your intuition and if he starts saying he’s busy a lot more often, ignoring you or giving short or disinterested replies then you should start seeing red flags.

Anonymous 60348

>if your bf is somewhat socially stunted, shy and scared of talking to girls, obviously you’re going to have less likelihood of being cheated on
Until he has the opportunity and jumps at it because it's a rarity. Meanwhile a more socially adjusted guy has the chance with all these girls but chose you for a reason, he denied himself the others by becoming exclusive with you. It goes both ways.

Anonymous 60358

when someone says …

>It goes both ways
So its like that.. The more i learn~

Anonymous 60359


hehe lain monkee hehehe

Thanks for saying all that, I haven't thought about losing him in a online context, only irl situations… You and I have the same type! He's indeed a shy introverted guy, but he's very good looking and caring, so I think he could get girls easly. Altought he's an introverted I've seen how well he can go on social situations, so I wouldn't rely so much on that.
Now I'm thinking about those types of possible red flags you'd mentioned (like taking too long to respond, etc). He says he need sometime alone to play games, think, chill, etc (kinda like a cat personality, that likes caring but needs time alone), so I dont blame him for taking long, but this can be a clue… But he always treat me very well, call me every night and talk to me during the day, saying what he did, etc. He also calls me on video sometimes if im sad or needing it. I don't necessary think he's lying or talking to girls but I'm afraid…what do you girls think?


Anonymous 60577

If he takes long to reply and he says he is gaming it is way more likely that he is lazy and inconsiderate than he is cheating on you. He may also be taking the relationship less seriously, because its a ldr. Have you asked him how he feels bout it? Its possible he has similar concerns that you do.

Anonymous 60583

god that gif of keanu is hot

Anonymous 60608

Ikr he was my first crush ;_;

God I wish I had a sweet Keanu bf

Anonymous 60660


Yes, youre right! Those types of men are awful, but I really dont think thats the case here. Actually, I had a conversation with him about those feelings and fears and he confessed that he has the same concerns as I do. We ended up venting a lot and he told me I can ask him anytime if he still love me or whatever so he can comfort me when I need to (words of affirmation are one of my love languages)!
About the reply thing, I think I was overeacting. I'm on my period and things can get hard, he dont take thaaat long and always call me and say lovely stuff. He really takes the ldr thing very serious, he says how much he loves me and how Im pretty everytime, buys me gifts, makes plans, drawings of me and asks me to stay with him forever literally everyday.He even cries everytime we videochat cause of how pretty or cute he thinks I am… So yeah, it was probably hormones causing me this. Thanks for all the help tho anon!! You really helped me go trought it all and talk with him so I'm very thankfull. Also thanks to that anon who said ldrs are valid. Hope u girls are doing well!!!

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