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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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People basically ignore me all the time Anonymous 61836

What the title is. I have always been ignored. When I was a kid this wasn't so bad.

I was an only child and fairly solitary in general, happy to keep my own company. As an adult I have a miniscule social circle, interacting mostly with my fiance, mother, and coworkers. I had friends at one point but they have all disappeared, swallowed up by distance or their children.I have tried starting MeetUps to engage with people, but my group got derailed by a Troon and I lost members and those neonate friendships.

I was at a company function on Friday and I was sitting alone. It ocurrred to me that no one gave a shit that I was there, and so I just walked out early and took 1/2 the day off. Today is Monday and no one has mentioned it. No one noticed it. I could have walked up to talk to someone but at this point I'm so tired trying to generate conversation/relationships with people.

All my life I have been the one reaching out and no one has ever made the attempt to reach back. I am worried that I am starting to get used to being alone/friendless/unnoticed, because it scares me. When I am 30/35/40 and beyond, am I still going to be a friendless faggot? Will I even care?

Anonymous 61841

You already have a partner who cares

Anonymous 61842

I don't want to be mean, OP, but >>61841 is right. Just be happy with who you already have.

Anonymous 61848

Not OP but…one person doesn't mean shit. That's just a sad cope for not being loved by a group.

Anonymous 61854

Pathetic. Good luck survive the Fiat currency collapse.

Anonymous 61861

many people are in your position and yet have never had any friends or partners. doesn't mean you should give up on making friends but when you feel sad remember what you have. people would kill just for that.

Anonymous 62249

Relatable, anon.
People have literally sat on me, I've also had situations where I'm ignored, and I just get up and leave, and no one notices me.
People talk over me/don't acknowledge me when I speak,etc, I don'tknow what it is

Anonymous 62287

I don’t have any friends and I’m content with my family. I would be even happier with a fiancé. You just need to learn the art of not giving a fuck.

Anonymous 62374

Not OP, but my partner is a social butterfly and has an extremely social job. Most of "our" friends/acquaintances are only ever in my presence to see him. Despite being content with my social life, it's difficult to notice this and not have a reaction. Feels a little bad, man.

Anonymous 62421

What is pathetic is that OP doesn't have friends.

Anonymous 62436

God, this is so relatable. Every friendship I have ever tried to foster ends up with them never reaching out to me first, I reach out to them, they reply, and then if I try to talk about myself at all I get completely steamrolled. Tried talking with two different friend from different circles about a close family member getting cancer and they both immediately steamrolled and asked for something. Like, pretended they didn't see what I had said, or in one case literally ignored me and never contacted me again.

Literally, even my own parents and sibling regularly forget about me- my birthday, even telling me important information. Even when I still lived with them. They even forget when I am coming over even though it is the same time and day every week for months now.

Growing up I would always have birthday and christmas presents to give to friends, and they never reciprocated. Even when I would tell them weeks in advance I had a present I wanted to give to them, by the time Christmas would come around, they would be like "Oh, your present is coming late, so sorry" and then they would never give me anything. I gifted a friend a very special divination card set that I had in my collection, and I found them literally buy a new version and bragging about it online the next week. I caught a friend reselling a rare gift I gave them (that they ASKED FOR) for double the retail price online. I have since cut contact with them and resigned myself to never try to make a friend again.

I have literally felt so invisible my entire life that I have struggled with delusions of not existing at all.

Anonymous 62647


Most of my friendships are hanging by a thread, because I am terrible at replying back to people's messages these days. As a result, I'm horrible at maintaining friendships. I'd probably be slightly better at maintaining them if I could meet those people IRL more often, but COVID made that difficult.

I've been accused of talking to people only when it comes to asking favors, and I lost a friend to that this year, but I'm trying to stop doing that now. I don't want to treat relationships as just a give and take, and to actually be able to hang out and talk casually with others.

Anonymous 62656


oh, okay. so i'm not the only perma background character out there

i've read every post itt and all i have to say is this: i hope we find friendships and love someday

Anonymous 62700


Honestly, living like this for so long I have just had to find comfort in having pets I spoil and talk to. My cats are always meowing and wanting to play with me, and it fills the void pretty well most days. I plan on eventually being able to have some bigger pets like horses that I can spend time training and working with to get that pseudo-social interaction. I talk out loud to my animals and have who conversations with em while they look on. Plus I read a lot of books and play RPGs with companion characters so I can pretend I have friends who would do anything for me. RPGs definitely fill the void in a real way- doing loyalty quests and giving gifts to characters who you can befriend. I guess it's pitiful but it's not like I have any friends to judge me lmao! I'm pretty sure Dragon Age literally saved me from killing myself a few years back when I was at my loneliest.

Anonymous 63046

Have you think if the problem is that everybody ignores you or pheraps you choose to socialize with assholes who dont value you? If your family dont show much interest in you and you are used to it since childhood it makes sense that you replicate that coldness with other relationships.
When is matter or friends and socialization there is always a patron, subconsciously humans are attracted to people who feels familiar for them or adjusted to their own personality. Take your time to think what personality traits or background do your "friends" have in common, and ask yourself why you feel attracted to them even if they hurt you, you will start to realise things.
In my opinion you should start to feel more confident with yourself and enjoy your time alone doing what you enjoy, this will make you more confident and naturally more atractive for people who are worth.

Anonymous 63071

There's being brutally honest and then there's just being insensitive. OP is sad and scared about being a "friendless nobody" and you just had to rub it in.

Anonymous 64068

Literally me but with Mass Effect.

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