I understand your frustration, but accepting oneself and getting with good terms with your appearance has nothing to do with this. People who are naturally beautiful and honestly don't care about it (as you just said), usually never learn this and have a hard time getting old (just look at people who do surgeries until they turn into caricatures irl).
Viewing yourself as more than your looks is fundamental like you just said, and not being able to look at yourself in the mirror and be ok with it is something harmful, because it 'passes on', in the sense that your children will probably have the same issues that you haven't dealt. This might also be the reason why some women can't have orgasms during sex, they don't feel comfortable being naked around someone and it is essential to be relaxed.
Also consider that this whole appearance deal is somewhat new, we didn't evolved to be exposed to lots of people like that. And the whole social media thing around it, revolves around an image that most of the time isn't even real, everyone edits their photos.
Even when it is, you are comparing yourself with someone who lives to this (as you just said), their lives are centered around their looks. It is their job to be like that and take photos and whatever. You are somewhat right, but even people who center their lives around it, should get into good terms with their appearance.