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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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ADVICE NEEDED- I'm afraid to use lesbian dating apps Anonymous 63145

I'm a single lesbian. It's coming to the end of quarantine in my country, and I want to start dating women in my area. Social isolation has given me plenty of time to self reflect and realise that I do have the courage to meet new people and start dating (anxiety).

Here's the problem. I'm afraid of being assaulted/catfished by transbians. I'm too socially anxious to deal with a situation where I go to bed with someone and they surprise me by pulling a penis out. I'm also very afraid that trying to turn someone down in this situation is going to get me hurt. This happens quite a bit. I even recently read a story on Reddit by a woman who went to hook up with a "woman" and ended up being beaten up and raped.

I'm afraid of that happening to me. Weapons are not legal in my country and I hate that I have to say that because I shouldn't need to think about bringing a weapon on a date.

What do I do?

Anonymous 63146

I'm not a lesbian, but there is usually a "LGBTQ scene" anywhere. Find where they are, maybe in some group near you on social media and talk to people. Probably a better approach than apps.

Anonymous 63147

First thing you should realize is that troons are very common online, but less common in actual reality. Are your chances of meeting troons 0? No, but they are still low. You then have to decide, which do you want more, to never put yourself at risk interacting with troons whatsoever, and guaranteeing you never find a relationship, or, accept the minimal amount of risk because the thing you want is just that worth it. To make this decision even easier, here's how you can further lower your risk.

You arrange your first date to be in public.

If you can't clock a troon from their pfp, then you better damn be able to in-person.

If you can't clock a troon in person, than you better damn be able to clock one after a fucking conversation and hearing their voice.

If you have still failed up to this point at clocking the troon then I can say no one but yourself is responsible.

Anonymous 63148

I'm also a bit afraid of the stigma after turning one down. You gotta know how LGBT groups can be, they do anything to side with troons. If I turn one down either on a site or in person they can easily mark me as a TERF and spread shit around to people letting them know I'm someone to avoid

I'd gladly meet people in real life rather than online but it's not as easily done in my country

Anonymous 63150

Wouldn't that work out for you? That means troons and lesbians who like troons would stay away from you. Seems pretty win/win to me.

Anonymous 63157

See, it would, but it's more to do with the retarded way that being labelled a TERF comes with the retard "oh she must also be a racist, homophobic…" you get the point

Anonymous 63203

If they can pass that well, they probably don't have enough muscle tone left to cause you any harm

Anonymous 63204

Tell him you have a boyfriend kek

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