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How to live for myself? Anonymous 63918

I feel like everything I do is for male approval. I structure my entire life around men and any interests or hobbies I partake in is a manufactured attempt to get potential male attention. I am unwilling to do anything unless men will perceive it. If I eat alone, or entertain myself alone, I feel like I'm wasting myself. I feel like a scarce resource instead of a human being.
Somewhere in adolescence I forgot how to enjoy things for my own sake, to do things because I want to, like I did as a kid. Does anyone one else feel this way? I just want to reset myself, become a person again. To live independently of men and do what I want, without worrying about whether it makes me attractive or not. But my brain just screams at me if I'm not constantly making myself available and attractive to men. Please advise

Anonymous 63919

>>63918
>Somewhere in adolescence I forgot how to enjoy things for my own sake, to do things because I want to, like I did as a kid. Does anyone one else feel this way?
To me it doesn't sound like you don't know how to do things for yourself, but that you actively guilt trip yourself each and every time you do so. Two completely different problems. Do you literally not know how to do something fun for yourself alone OR are you capable of doing that but each time you destroy yourself emotionally? Again these two things are not the same problem.

Anonymous 63958

I feel the same way.
I can't tell you what to do but I can advise you to NOT try to cope by convincing yourself you were meant to live through the eyes of someone else.
Ever stopped to think that your desire to live for yourself is just a way to seem more interesting and authentic to males? (If so, unthink that I guess)

Anonymous 63960

>>63918
I've felt this way before. I advise you to try reconnecting with how you were as a kid - what did you do for fun, just for yourself?
In addition, you should cut out the unnecessary male interaction (strangers, "friends" you don't really like, etc). You might find that you get on fine without it.

Anonymous 63964

F2510AFC-8BC5-404F…

>>63918
By living for your kids (your future)

Anonymous 63977

is it possible you’re depressed anon? maybe revisit your relationship with your father in childhood.

Anonymous 64005

>Ever stopped to think that your desire to live for yourself is just a way to seem more interesting and authentic to males?
Yes. does this rabbit hole ever end
>>63964
please explain this image to me I'm retarded

personally I recommend deleting your social media

Anonymous 64010

>>63960
>reconnecting with how you were as a kid - what did you do for fun, just for yourself
YES this actually seemed to work best for me. i filled a flashcart with DS games I used to play as a kid and spent hours playing them by myself, for myself, just channeling that 7-yr-old energy and not caring about anything else for the first time in a long time. Definitely a good start

Anonymous 64075

>>63918
I feel this way all the fucking time. and its not like i even like the attention. usually men being pests toward me feels violating, and yet i feel brainwashed to want it. i grew up in a very misogynistic household tho.



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