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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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uggo feels Anonymous 64678

>be 22 year old khv
>finally find a bf
>he is super cute meanwhile you look like a rat
Anyone else has this problem? I know guys cheat on girls quite often, and I'm afraid of my bf getting bored of me/cheating on me because of the difference in our attractiveness. I'm unfortunately completely ugly (tall wide face etc.), meanwhile he is a pretty boy. How do I improve? I feel so happy and blessed when we are together, but it hurts to be compared to him and constantly feeling insecure. Has anyone here managed to maintain a relationship despite big gap in attractiveness?

Anonymous 64681

The gap in attractiveness is a figment of your imagination. You love and care about your boyfriend so from your perspective he's the cutest boy in the world, but you don't give yourself that same love so you view yourself as ugly, its a self confidence problem. Talk to him about how you feel and he'll make you feel better. In his mind you're the cutest girl in the world, and he might not have the best view of himself.

Anonymous 64683


first of all, is he aware of the gap in attractiveness? do people remind him of it and point it out every chance they get? if he is, he might get self conscious how you appear as a couple, which might give him doubts and rethink his relationship. it's sad, but that's the power people's words can have on others.

>Anyone else has this problem?

yea it sucks and causes a lot of insecurity in me. i never really cared about what i looked like until i started dating my bf, and now im at a loss on how to look somewhat decent (might start wearing short skirts and makeup again even though i hate them with a passion). it's just so awful that people place so much pressure on the woman being the 'better looking' one in a relationship, and if she isn't a pretty faced doll, then he can 'do better'. as if all the value a woman has to offer is her appearance…

hes with you for a reason. you are probably beautiful in his eyes even if you dont think it. and if it isnt beauty, then you probably are deeply compatible in other areas of life that make up for it. maybe hes also just a very rare man who doesnt care about looks and thinks its whats on the inside that counts.

what >>64681 said, just talk to him about it. a good bf will open up to you and be honest. he'll lift you up. if only you could see yourself in the eyes of your bf , youll see how pretty you are. and if he thinks youre being insecure or fishing for compliments then hes an immature little boy and not worth the time. good bfs will listen to you without any judgement, take your concerns to heart and will make the effort to make you feel better.

Anonymous 64690

Thank you anon, but that's not true unfortunately. I did talk to him about it and he treated it like a joke and told me that I'm beautiful to him etc. but that's not the reality.

Can I ask how long have you been with your bf? I think he obviously must be aware of it on some level, I don't have low self-esteem, I'm just plain ugly. And he has a model-tier face, plenty of girls tried to pursue him, he even gained a little bit of internet "fame" due to his face. When I introduced him to my parents my dad was 100% convinced he is scamming me. Other very attractive girls try to flirt with him in my presence, even though they are obviously aware we are a couple. I'm at loss at what to do. I'm wearing makeup already and signed up to the gym but I'm really afraid of losing him if I don't get sone kind of surgery. It sucks.

Anonymous 64700

>how long have you been with your bf?
almost a year now. his family thinks im too ugly for him. my sister was jealous that i had a handsome bf and tried to cause a rift in our relationship by parading around in a thong and a crop top all the while flirting with him. people take creep shots of him in public and one lady even approached us asking to keep her photo. someone mistook him for a celebrity. girls try to hook up with him, sense hes ‘different’ (not a macho man and really quiet and shy) and only see him as a sexual object (which i think made him happy that idc about looks and i like his values and personality). women turn their heads to frequently check him out if he’s in the same room as them and enjoy talking to him just so they can look at his face (he’s an awful conversationalist and people think he’s boring). he gets compliments out of the blue because of the halo effect, and he’s an awkward bean and ignores the compliments, doesn’t say thank you or anything lol. i don’t like how he gets so much attention because of his appearance and by proxy i get it as well. except it’s bad attention i.e. “SHES your gf???” its painful and it stings, but i know he loves me and won’t look at other women. the words got to him once but i talkedit out with him. the only opinions that ever matter in a relationship should just be the ones who are in it. no external influences should EVER make you or your partner feel bad about themselves.

you should be careful about his social media use. people use it as an excuse to check out attractive people and ‘slide into the DMs’. i hope he doesn’t get too many DMs, you might want to ask him about what goes on in his accounts, if he ever gets private messages. he sounds like a good bf though, doesn’t sound like he’s trying to make you aware of his attractiveness intentionally, doesn’t sound like he’s making you jealous. he just exists, and that’s the way he was born - with good looks. does he use his looks to his advantage? those who do that are a little shady. i think the ones who are self conscious, as in aware of how they look attractive to others and dislike the attention, are really sweet and innocent.
did your bf suggest you go to the gym and wear makeup or is it of your own accord? you can try to improve you looks if you want but it may cause resentment that you have to work extra hard and do all these beauty rituals and routines to even look somewhat in your bfs league when he just naturally looks like that. plastic surgery may be taking it too far. i have the ugliest nose ever and won’t ever get rhinoplasty cuz to me, plastic surgery may enable a slippery slope into body dysphoria. it won’t ever solve self esteem issues for me, it’s more of a psychological issue i have to work on.

Anonymous 64743

Nobody is reading this

Anonymous 64744

I'm a nobody then.

Anonymous 64755

Everybody is reading it.

Anonymous 64757

Nah I didn't

Anonymous 64762

I told my therapist that the hardest part of making my dating profile is putting up the picture. She offered to take some pics of me. I thought I looked really ugly in the pictures and I look ugly in all pictures. There is something about a photo where I see myself as other people see me for the first time and realize "god I look like such a loser"

Anonymous 64763

Don't project so much. You aren't a loser. No one is a loser unless they actively seek to harm other people. Many beautiful women can be losers because their lives revolve around seeking drama and attention at the cost of the people around them. Although, that's not limited to the rich and beautiful, it's just a part of being human. The grass is always greener

Anonymous 64797

keeping tabs on this thread

im in the same boat anon, my bf is buff, has a sunkissed tan, and is easily a 9/10, while im definitely a solid 4, 5 with makeup.

he said to me during christmas last year while we were at a party that his dad has a history of promiscuity and he hopes he wont get bored of me so im definitely worried

Anonymous 64799

Where do plain janes like me find these towering demigods?

Anonymous 64807

Dump anyone who talks like that behind your back let alone to your face. (If he's good then those two things are the same thing.)
On tinder.

Anonymous 64831

Tinder seems kind of filled with gross middle aged perverts. Are there really lots of hot guys there?

Anonymous 64840

>im definitely a solid 4, 5
You're either underestimating your looks or you're totally his type, so in his eyes you're also a 9/10 just like you see him.

>he hopes he wont get bored of me

Is that not a red flag for you?

Anonymous 64864

Yeah I feel this. That’s y I’m trying to lose weight, cause if my face is ugly atleast I’ll have an okay bod.

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