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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 64860

>Be me, khhv 23 year old
>ugly and no friends rl
>on discord 24/7
>meet a qt guy on discord
>long conversations, we talk on voice chat late night for 2+ hours
>show my pic and he calls me beautiful. First moid to call me beautiful
>He's also flirty otherwise
>I catch feels and blurt out that I like him one day.
>Says he likes me too but we can't be together because we live in different countries and such things don't end well
>We continue to talk and spend time, he's still occasionally flirty
>After a month again I ask if we have any future if I do certain things
>He says no, he can't commit to anything like that and says he wants time off
>Comes back after 24 hours
>We start talking again
>He's normie with thriving social life and has less contact with his friends due to pandemic and job
>He calls me friend but I still wonder what I mean to him, a friend truly or just an arrangement till everything gets back to normal and he can go back to his rl friends

This is the closest I got to anything romantic with a moid.
Idk what should I do with him

Anonymous 64862

Long-distance relationships do not work, I've been in two and they always crumble after 2-3 months. With no way to be physically intimate, no hand-holding, no kissing, no hugging, no spooning while watching TV etc. Things quickly burn out because there's no real drive for both of you. Eventually it just becomes empty compliments handed out without thought.

Is it actual romance at that point or just friendship with the occasional dick pic or nude being shared?

Anonymous 64866

my experience is very similar, might as well just keep being friends with him and don't grow much hope on meeting up, otherwise you will just get your heart broken. In other life or different situations you two could be together, unfortunately life is never that simple

Anonymous 64869

Honestly I am a believer that they can work since my mother of all people met a man online and they'vebeen together for years. A lot of lesbian/bi women also meet online because there are so few around irl.

However, in OP's case her guy just isn't up for it and so that's the end of it. Above all they both need to consent to date, and he rejected that. She should take the confidence he's given her and apply it to the rest of her life.

Anonymous 64870

Accept you're internet friends who occasionally flirt just for fun or drop the friendship because you're fantasizing about something he has made clear he doesn't want.

Anonymous 64881

Just because they haven't worked for you doesn't mean they can't work, T: I've been in a LDR for 6 years now, we see each other every few months and have plans to move together.

For OP though, the guy doesn't seem like he's interested in that so you shouldn't hold out hopes for it happening or you'll just end up feeling worse if he finds someone local who he actually is interested in dating. Do your best to just see him as a friend rather than as a romantic partner.

Anonymous 64934

Yes they do. Me and my bf have been in an LDR for years and i travelled to see him last month.

Anonymous 64985

>what I should do with him
you make it seem as if you're the one calling the shots. What will you do with yourself in such a situation, you mean

Anonymous 64989

I'm in a similar situation.

But like >>64862 said do not go for LDR.
Also >no spooning while watching TV
lol that was oddly specific.


Anonymous 65020

In general it’s wise to go for people within your own league otherwise you will either feel inferior or they will treat you as inferior.

If you’re an unattractive NEET with no friends or job or social life who expects an attractive dude with a job and very active social life to go out with you, you’re being a bit too hopeful. I only say this because I’ve been in a similar situation before with someone who was very active and hardworking and social and I was lazy and a slacker and had no friends either and over time he got frustrated and resentful.

A LDR can work but only if you are both introverts because a social person is meeting new girls all the time and they usually get tempted along the way, men are obsessed with physical touch and visuals whereas women tend to be more romantic and sentimental and can handle LDRs easier. Men are just impatient coomers unfortunately.

Work on yourself, try to soft looksmaxx, consider getting a part time job or picking up a new hobby or skill and talking to new people even just online. Trust me men respect it and are attracted to it way more when they see you have a life of your own and aren’t constantly hanging on their ever word waiting for another message to come through.

Anonymous 65022

Every word*

Anonymous 65120

im in a similar situation. me and my online friend are a "thing". we both have feelings for eachother but not in an actual relationship. he said he would date me and i would date him too but we live 5000 miles away from eachother. so we just have to be friends. it sucks because i love him so much and i never loved a boy this much before and i feel like i wont ever be able to find a guy like him. im kind of a femcel and it would be hard to get a bf irl anyway. i feel like he's lost interest in me and it makes me depressed but i act like its fine. but it doesn't actually matter if he does or not because we can't ever date. the only thing to do is to make myself lose feelings or stop talking to him but i cant bring myself to do that. i just wish i didnt love so hard.

Anonymous 65319


I am OP anon and have same exact feelings for him.
I also feel very possessive towards him. He will be talking to any single girl and I'd start feeling extremely insecure. Even if he has platonic feelings for that girl.. I feel he will also stop talking to me because I'm not interesting enough to hold his attention

Anonymous 65328

LDRs aren't real relationships

Anonymous 65356

me too anon. i like him so much i feel like im boring around him because im too shy and nervous and too scared to say stuff. and i get jealous too. i know i have no right to be jealous since we arent even dating, but im scared he will talk to another girl and end up liking her more than me. and he has a flirty personality which makes it worse. i wish i could just have him all to myself. its stupid how obsessive i am for a guy ive never even met, and not even dating.

Anonymous 65377

Keep coping because your LDR failed, loser. I’ve been in an LDR happily for over 2yrs.

Anonymous 65410

I haven't had an LDR, retard, but keep inventing things to feel important.

Anonymous 65411

Nta but maybe you shouldn't speak on what LDRs are like if you've never had one

Anonymous 65412

Tell more success stories please, give hope

Anonymous 65438

Lol that's barely a milestone, most couples last between 2-5 years. You need to manage to get past that mark before being this confident

Anonymous 65440

Don't be mean, let her be happy.

Anonymous 65441

Idk if you're baiting but 2 years is pretty good dude

Anonymous 65442

Eh, I guess it's good for a LDR. I don't know why I'm holding them to the same standard as irl relationships

Anonymous 65447

I'm >>65438 and >>65442, not the >>65328 and >>65410. I don't have anything against either irl ones or LDRs.

Either way, though, assuming that someone who doesn't believe your type of relationship dynamic isn't valid must have never had a successful relationships is silly, they could just be baiting or actually think that LDRs aren't real relationships, which isn't an uncommon belief at all

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