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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Anonymous 66181

I want to have sex with other men that's not my bf but I know he won't ever let me. When I think about it I feel so bad knowing I'm letting my youth pass by while missing out on the experiences I should have while I'm young. It frustrates me how possessive and insecure moids are with things like this

Anonymous 66182

>>66181
You should do it OP. Just do it.

Anonymous 66185

>>66181
ask if ur bf feels the same way abt fucking girls lol

Anonymous 66186

>>66181
Would you be okay with him sleeping with other girls?

Anonymous 66189

Why would anyone want to give away their soul into cheap change like that. Whore..

Anonymous 66190

>>66181
Dump him.
Then go have sex with other men.
And find the one you really want to stick with.

Anonymous 66194

>>66189
having consensual sex with someone doesn't do anything to your soul, moid. i know it's a surprise to you but people exist beyond their sexuality and for most of us it's not even that big of a part of our sense of self. small tip: next time drop the "whore" if you don't want us to immediately spot your maleness

Anonymous 66196

>>66181
>I'm letting my youth pass by while missing out on the experiences I should have while I'm young.
What experiences are you missing and why should you be a certain age to experience them?

Anonymous 66197

>>66194
>people exist beyond their sexuality
Ironically that's my point. Its true that sexuality takes a bigger role in man's life, so men should be more promiscuous, right? So why am i disagreeing with you? If a person deeply loves someone then they wouldn't go around looking for something else. Your love is shallow.
> if you don't want us to immediately spot your maleness
Wow, such perception..

Anonymous 66198

>>66181
>It frustrates me how possessive and insecure moids are with things like this
99% of people would NOT be happy with their partner fucking around with other people, regardless of sex. You have a dude who likes you yet you want to throw it all away for dime a dozen moids who couldn't give less of a shot about you.
If I were you I'd hope to god my boyfriend never sees this post.

Anonymous 66200

>>66194
>people exist beyond their sexuality and for most of us it's not even that big of a part of our sense of self
>>missing out on the experiences I should have while I'm young

Bit of a contradiction there, sistah. And the answer is simply to drop your "boyfriend" if you feel that way.

Anonymous 66201

>>66181
It's interesting how easy humans are to form since they are just clay.

Do you even know where this idea came from?

Anonymous 66204

>>66181
Obvious moid posting bait

Anonymous 66206

I tried an open relationship and idk if it was worth it. It was confusing to my brain/emotions and made me feel kinda yucky. I still sometimes want to have sex with other men but I try to remember moids are mostly degenerates and bad at sex so my fantasies won't ever come true. I still think monogamy is an overrated construct and not for everyone though. If you feel trapped just dump him and be free.

Anonymous 66207

0c0e2d2ed029994a9d…

I actually feel this. I also wouldn't be upset about my boyfriend having sex with other girls, as long as he loves me. If other women are so much better, why keep coming back? There's obviously something between us that isn't attainable with others. If not, bye. Don't waste my time.
IMO, it's unrealistic to pretend other people don't exist and you can't have any crushes just because you're with someone. The whole "This person is mine and only mine, they shouldn't even see anyone else and I don't, either" actually feels and looks very immature. It's unrealistic, like those overdone yandere LARPs.
If your relationship falls apart because someone strayed, it's probably a good thing in the long run. A weak connection finally being cut off. Maybe the real reason most people hate infidelity (besides the evopsych stuff) is because they're addicted to LARPing that the person they're currently with must be their soulmate. They know it's not really true, but they just don't want to be tested that way. It's too scary to think of the person they've been pretending with and investing so much of their time in leaving forever, or not caring for them anymore. It doesn't work permanently, though. They're just prolonging an inevitable split. Even if no one cheats and the two people stay together for years, resentment ends up building because things were never meant to be. If you're scared of being cheated on, your relationship is probably already failing. If you're a woman in a straight relationship with this fear, it's very likely that it's because you've been doing your best in the relationship, telling yourself your actions can make things "work", when the real issue is your scrote. You picked the wrong one, but it feels too late to face it and drop him.
I've never told anyone these thoughts, I guess they sound sort of blackpilled. That said, everyone I've seen in a poly relationship was really cringy, so I don't know.

Anonymous 66208

5EA9CED7-8868-4100…

i'd like to call u a certain word but i have a feeling it'd get me autobanned
you think getting cummed on and used by men who dont give a fuck about you is "enjoying your youth"? admit to yourself and your boyfriend who you are. if he knew what you were posting online and have any self respect he would leave you.

Anonymous 66210

>>66207
Your post makes a lot of sense with the assumption that the two people are only practicing fidelity out of a place of fear, so I suppose for any relationship built on that you are 100% correct. Relationships abstracted away from producing children have no reason for fidelity to be encouraged or enforced, since bumping bodies is just that, bumping bodies in that case. However, for the ideal relationship, with two people encouraging the other to be the best possible person they can be, the rarity and exclusivity of fidelity immensely increases the value of the experience. Sure, the act of physically having sex is not meaningfully different between different individuals physically, the emotional and perceived value of the physical connection increases immensely with the amount of trust you put in the other person. There really is no reason to believe your moid isn't sleeping with another woman at anytime, he can, quite easily too in general. However, there's much to be said about the type of moid that's trustworthy enough to not do so.

>That said, everyone I've seen in a poly relationship was really cringy, so I don't know.

Ah see, and the semantic train of thought slams into the wall of practical reality for what poly is in practice. An emotional mess where suddenly alliances and democracy is taken into making relationship decisions, usually with individuals who are so loosy-goosy with rules and expectations you can't really expect them to perform anything properly, sex related or not.

Anonymous 66211

>>66207
I don't know, anon. Some people are just monogamous for real.
For example I can barely keep more than one friend because I simply don't have the energy. Having serious feelings for multiple people has also never happened, and I'm well into adulthood.
Perhaps regarding a partner it is pure jealousy, especially since a female partner being poly would also make me uncomfortable and there is no biological reason for that. I just expect the other person to put exactly what I put into the relationship. It's also ideal to date someone just like me in most ways, like the introversion.

Of course open relationships do work for some people, and if so they should do what's best for them. Neither way is for everyone.

Anonymous 66212

>>66210
>However, for the ideal relationship, with two people encouraging the other to be the best possible person they can be, the rarity and exclusivity of fidelity immensely increases the value of the experience.
Why, though? Everyone still gets attracted to everyone. Not acting on it doesn't seem like some huge favor to your partner if you've already felt the attraction in your own mind, privately. In fact, the exclusivity is almost like a forced meme. The only way it means anything is if you find someone that's basically asexual for everyone but you, and you feel the same for them, and I don't think most humans work like that.

Anonymous 66214

>>66212
>Everyone still gets attracted to everyone.
>The only way it means anything is if you find someone that's basically asexual for everyone but you, and you feel the same for them, and I don't think most humans work like that.
You've done this equivalence three times now that supposes that "getting a crush" (which I am taking as "being physically attracted to") is interchangeable with actually having sex outside the relationship. I do not view urges and physical actions the same way, and before I go any further, I need to understand why you are treating the two interchangeably. Is having a crush on someone the same experience as physically having sex with them?

Anonymous 66215

>>66214
Because if you feel those urges to begin with, and if we believe here that someone simply feeling them doesn't make someone a bad partner or mean that they don't love the person they're with, what's the point in pretending they don't? Why not just act naturally? If you actually don't love who you're dating, or vice-versa, then that needs to be addressed, because it'll just manifest in other ways.
>Is having a crush on someone the same experience as physically having sex with them?
No, but the feelings are there. Even emotional cheating is real. And even if your partner isn't having sex with that person, wouldn't it feel the same if while they were having sex with you, they were closing their eyes and they said the other person's name, or you had some other indication that they were fantasizing about them? Is it just a "Don't ask, don't tell" thing?

Anonymous 66218

>>66215
>Because if you feel those urges to begin with, and if we believe here that someone simply feeling them doesn't make someone a bad partner or mean that they don't love the person they're with, what's the point in pretending they don't?
Define "pretending they don't"? Does the partner who has some physical attraction to someone outside the relationship "pretend" to not have sex with that person?
>Why not just act naturally?
I understand the point you're making here, but rape is also natural, so just "acting natural" isn't inherently a good thing.
>If you actually don't love who you're dating, or vice-versa, then that needs to be addressed, because it'll just manifest in other ways.
The way you keep setting this up this as a "test" of sorts seems abusive to me, to be quite honest. This line of thinking justifies situations with polymoids going "Honey if you loved me you would be fine with me sleeping with other people. If you're not fine with me sleeping with other people, you don't love me." If that sounds emotionally abusive that's because it fucking is. Love is more than just physical attraction, however, physical connection is still a part of love. Trust is a very fragile thing.
>No, but the feelings are there. Even emotional cheating is real.
It's certainly not the same as physically cheating however, and is far less straining on the relationship.
>And even if your partner isn't having sex with that person, wouldn't it feel the same if while they were having sex with you, they were closing their eyes and they said the other person's name, or you had some other indication that they were fantasizing about them?
No, it would not feel the same. I feel like I need to explore something even more fundamental with you. Do you treat "having a crush with someone" and "actively fantasizing about having sex with them" as interchangeable? Is just having the emotional blip of "that person is attractive" the same thing to you as actively imagining having sex with that person?

Anonymous 66219

Picture-22.png

I thought only moids had this mentality…

Drop your bf and go have sex with other men or suggest an open relationship to him so he can have sex with other people too.

Anonymous 66221

>>66218
>Define "pretending they don't"?
Pretending as if they only have eyes for their partner, and that they don't have a crush. Essentially, dishonesty for convenience's sake.
>Does the partner who has some physical attraction to someone outside the relationship "pretend" to not have sex with that person?
The mere desire to is enough, fantasies don't come from nowhere.
>I understand the point you're making here, but rape is also natural, so just "acting natural" isn't inherently a good thing.
I don't see how having sex with someone while you're actually in love with someone else is comparable to rape. I just don't see a point in pretense. You want to fuck someone? Do it. If you actually love me, it'll be meaningless. If you don't, things were doomed from the start, and it was a cope to act otherwise.
>The way you keep setting this up this as a "test" of sorts seems abusive to me, to be quite honest. This line of thinking justifies situations with polymoids going "Honey if you loved me you would be fine with me sleeping with other people. If you're not fine with me sleeping with other people, you don't love me." If that sounds emotionally abusive that's because it fucking is.
It's not abusive, because my thing isn't "You have to stay when your moid does something you don't like, or else you never loved him!!", it's "Your moid was probably trash to begin with, and him cheating would force you to accept it and dump his ass, because that's the one thing you can't just brush off. It's the fact that you know he never loved you, and you just don't want that confirmation (or the painful freedom that comes after). Stop being afraid, he's showing you who he is for real". I do want to add, if you're financially supporting the scrote or something and he does it, then of course him returning to you repeatedly doesn't mean he does love you and that it's just sex with those other people. There are many factors that come into this kind of thing, you can literally feel what's going on.
>Love is more than just physical attraction, however, physical connection is still a part of love. Trust is a very fragile thing.
From my point of view, a physical connection between people who truly love each other is more divine than sex with some stranger that looked appealing. If I can't fully trust, I'd rather not be in limbo.
>It's certainly not the same as physically cheating however, and is far less straining on the relationship.
I don't see how it has to be straining at all, unless there's other things going on that neither party want to acknowledge.
>No, it would not feel the same.
So, you wouldn't feel betrayed? It wouldn't feel like you're being cheated on? Not judging if that's the case for you, but I don't think it is for most people, that sounds kind of out of the ordinary. I think many people would be hurt by such a thing, even if their partner hadn't actually gone out and physically done it behind their back.
>I feel like I need to explore something even more fundamental with you. Do you treat "having a crush with someone" and "actively fantasizing about having sex with them" as interchangeable? Is just having the emotional blip of "that person is attractive" the same thing to you as actively imagining having sex with that person?
Not inherently, but if it's a male, "having a crush" is interchangeable with fantasy. It's that simple. They're not children, and over half of them are porn viewers. It's a cope to try and police fantasies, but I also don't see any gain in being with someone who acts like they're that unicorn who only wants one person when I know they're daydreaming of not being that (sometimes the opposite). I'd rather just work with what's real, and if I don't like it, move on. No gain in a cheap imitation.

Anonymous 66223

>>66221
>Pretending as if they only have eyes for their partner, and that they don't have a crush. Essentially, dishonesty for convenience's sake.
Okay, breaking this down even further, are you conflating "thinks someone is physically attractive" with "wants to have a relationship" when you say crush? Your man shouldn't need to pretend no one else is attractive, he should embody that no one else is worth having a relationship with.
>The mere desire to is enough, fantasies don't come from nowhere.
Fantasies are an active process. Being attracted to is not a conscious process, but a spontaneous reaction. Not the same at all.
>I don't see how having sex with someone while you're actually in love with someone else is comparable to rape.
It only is on the dimension of both being "natural". "Naturalness" is not a qualifier for something being good or not good. If you don't want the two compared, don't use "natural" as an inherently good trait.
>t's not abusive, because my thing isn't "You have to stay when your moid does something you don't like, or else you never loved him!!"
I know you don't mean for it to be abusive, but it is incredibly easy to use it in that fashion, and probably has already been used in that fashion by both moids and women. I know that's not what you meant, that's not the point, the point is your thinking pattern justifies this. Contrast with "if you loved me you wouldn't have sex with anyone else!" which is only abusive if you believe that everyone should be having sex outside of the relationship.
>it's "Your moid was probably trash to begin with, and him cheating would force you to accept it and dump his ass, because that's the one thing you can't just brush off. It's the fact that you know he never loved you, and you just don't want that confirmation (or the painful freedom that comes after). Stop being afraid, he's showing you who he is for real".
Now there's a set up, are you arguing that if a modi cheats that all love previous to that was "just fake"? That seems to be what you're stipulating. Is it impossible for someone who legitimately loves their partner at one point in time change as time goes by? Can someone go from a good person to a shitty person? Or in your frame does the mis-action just retroactively make that person a shitty person throughout all points?
>From my point of view, a physical connection between people who truly love each other is more divine than sex with some stranger that looked appealing. If I can't fully trust, I'd rather not be in limbo
Trust in what? I thought having sex outside the relationship was perfectly fine? Why would it impact trust? I don't understand your position. Here you state
>I also wouldn't be upset about my boyfriend having sex with other girls, as long as he loves me.
Then you state
>If I can't fully trust, I'd rather not be in limbo.
It doesn't sound like you're okay with infidelity, it sounds like you just want to know that even if the moid had the choice he would still choose you. Which is it? Are you okay with your moid having sex with anyone, or are you just shit-testing him to make sure that even though the door is open he doesn't walk out?
>I don't see how it has to be straining at all, unless there's other things going on that neither party want to acknowledge.
Thinking from you perspective, isn't him imagining someone else while having sex with you 100% okay?
>So, you wouldn't feel betrayed? It wouldn't feel like you're being cheated on?
I agreed with you dumbfuck, take the agreement.
>Not judging if that's the case for you, but I don't think it is for most people, that sounds kind of out of the ordinary. I think many people would be hurt by such a thing, even if their partner hadn't actually gone out and physically done it behind their back.
It would hurt, but that's an active process that you have to actively perform to do. Much like how physically having sex with someone is an activity. It's still less severe than him actually having sex with someone outside the relationship. This black-and-white "it's either all good or equivalent to extramarital sex" isn't healthy.
>Not inherently, but if it's a male, "having a crush" is interchangeable with fantasy. It's that simple.
Ah see, now I find the crux of the issue. How do you know this? Not this.
>They're not children, and over half of them are porn viewers.
How do you know that all males fail to distinguish between physical attraction and active fantasy?

You know what, humor me, given a choice between the moid who only has sex with you, and the moid who has sex with you and other people, which is more ideal? Your arguing the second should be acceptable, but I want to know which you prefer. Do you want the first or the second moid? For argument's sake you get to swing too.

Anonymous 66224

It's not a matter of insecurity. You are insulting the person by telling them they're not enough for you and you aren't happy with them. Only a truly sad individual would stick around after that.

Anonymous 66225

>>66207
>They know it's not really true, but they just don't want to be tested that way.
If it should be a perfectly acceptable thing to do, why would it even be a test in the first place? In your mind isn't it just matter of fact?

Anonymous 66226

>>66223
>Okay, breaking this down even further, are you conflating "thinks someone is physically attractive" with "wants to have a relationship" when you say crush? Your man shouldn't need to pretend no one else is attractive, he should embody that no one else is worth having a relationship with.
You seem to be conflating having a relationship with having sex, I think you missed something here. My whole point is that wanting to have sex doesn't make or break a relationship. Or, at least not a worthwhile one.
>Fantasies are an active process. Being attracted to is not a conscious process, but a spontaneous reaction. Not the same at all.
So, if your partner chooses to actively fantasize about someone…? That's not something you can measure or place rules on.
>It only is on the dimension of both being "natural". "Naturalness" is not a qualifier for something being good or not good. If you don't want the two compared, don't use "natural" as an inherently good trait.
You know what else is natural, though? Pissing and shitting. It's not wrong to say that, either, because they are. That doesn't mean it makes sense to compare urination to rape, kek. No one's talking about inherent goodness of it, either. You piss, you shit, you feel attraction. Honestly, I'd even go as far as to say rape isn't "natural", unless you're one of the evopsych scrotes (in which case, stop posting lmao).
>I know you don't mean for it to be abusive, but it is incredibly easy to use it in that fashion, and probably has already been used in that fashion by both moids and women. I know that's not what you meant, that's not the point, the point is your thinking pattern justifies this.
Yeah, and that has nothing to do with me. Anyone can twist anything to be abusive. For example, the very nature of a relationship requires compromise, so any abuser can tell their victim "If you can't deal with me being a complete sociopath, you're not compromising, and you clearly aren't ready to date". That doesn't make the abuser right, and it doesn't make the statement that a relationship requires compromise wrong. Any mindset can be pushed anywhere by crazy or manipulative enough people, I'm not seeing what you mean here.
>Contrast with "if you loved me you wouldn't have sex with anyone else!" which is only abusive if you believe that everyone should be having sex outside of the relationship.
It can only be deemed abusive if that person really, truly wants to do that, you know it, and you believe they do love you and would continue to love you regardless of what they do with others (and you're not just coping that they do to cover up a failing relationship). At that point, you're holding the feelings you know they have for you above their head because of your own fears. If you actually do believe they don't love you, or that they couldn't possibly love you after doing such a thing, then it's not abusive, it's just you and your own comfort level, and you should never be with someone who can't reach it, or who has to actively strain to do so. Again, it's a cope. In fact, if you have to tell them to begin with, that doesn't bode well.
>Now there's a set up, are you arguing that if a modi cheats that all love previous to that was "just fake"?
No, I'm saying if that's how you feel about a moid sleeping with someone else, and that fear fills you, it means that's what's going to happen. In fact, it was never meant to be. If what you have is worth your time and effort, sex with other people is a nonissue. If it makes you burn inside or lose feeling, it's because it took out the trash. If it doesn't, what's the fuss?
The rest of your post on this and the weird hypothetical questions seem like massive extrapolations made from misunderstanding. I said it in my original post, and have said it again multiple times, but let me try and simplify it: It's not inherently bad or good, it just is. It doesn't have to be a dealbreaker, unless the relationship was already bad (in which case, it ripped the band-aid off).
>Thinking from you perspective, isn't him imagining someone else while having sex with you 100% okay?
To me? Sure. To you, though, going by your logic? Doesn't seem like it.
>I agreed with you dumbfuck, take the agreement.
You're getting weirdly angry about this, and sorry but I can't match your rage because it's really not that deep. Chill out, we're just random people on a crystal forum. I'm not your girlfriend or boyfriend, I didn't cheat on you.
>It would hurt, but that's an active process that you have to actively perform to do. Much like how physically having sex with someone is an activity. It's still less severe than him actually having sex with someone outside the relationship. This black-and-white "it's either all good or equivalent to extramarital sex" isn't healthy.
I'm not making a value judgment on extramarital sex, I'm just pointing out that the feelings are there whether they're enacted or not. Why act like they aren't? What's the point?
>Ah see, now I find the crux of the issue. How do you know this? Not this.
If you disbelieve it, that's allowed. I know it because of how they talk and behave.
>How do you know that all males fail to distinguish between physical attraction and active fantasy?
Do you think all males feel physical attraction, and then think "Well I'm a Girlfriend Respecter, so I will not, in my own time, fantasize about this random girl, or the girl from porn when I jerk off"? If you do, that's pretty naive, but your own thing.
>You know what, humor me, given a choice between the moid who only has sex with you, and the moid who has sex with you and other people, which is more ideal? Your arguing the second should be acceptable, but I want to know which you prefer. Do you want the first or the second moid? For argument's sake you get to swing too.
Depends on what the relationship on either end is like. It's interesting because the "correct" answer in most people's eyes would be the first, but that's only satisfactory to me in a "perfect" relationship where neither of us would ever want anyone else in the first place, but if I were actually in that "perfect" relationship, we'd both be happy enough to not even be bothered if the other slept with people outside the relationship. I guess my answer is it shouldn't matter.

Anonymous 66231

>>66225
Because it only hurts if it forces you to see the light. SO who loves you, and has or has had sex with someone else? No big deal, you might do the same, and you'd still be happy together. SO who doesn't love you and is/was just using you? Very obvious, your mind/heart will tell you the difference, and it'll be just one more thing on the laundry list that'd bother you, but with the added social seethe factor to reassure you that you're not crazy so you can leave (which you were meant to do from the start, but you ignored the red flags). Tons of women stay in shit relationships, and when anything under the sun that's not cheating happens (even downright abusive things), they unironically go to places like Reddit and say "Am I overreacting?" because they've been ignoring themselves for so long. Willful blindness.

Anonymous 66232

Eh I would say that having lots of sex may be fun for a while, but it won't fix any real issues you have, lots of girls have tried doing that including me fml but it's a dead end that leaves you emotionally drained.

You're not wasting your youth if you don't have lots of sex, you're wasting it if you don't have any meaningful experiences and if you don't learn good valueable skills.

Anonymous 66234

>>66226
>Do you think all males feel physical attraction, and then think "Well I'm a Girlfriend Respecter, so I will not, in my own time, fantasize about this random girl, or the girl from porn when I jerk off"? If you do, that's pretty naive, but your own thing.
Ah yes, in this world, your strategy is 100% correct. If that's the world you believe you inhabit, I suppose I can't contradict you, you have found the optimum strategy. I hope it works out for you when you embody it, but as you already stated.
>That said, everyone I've seen in a poly relationship was really cringy, so I don't know
You're already aware it doesn't actually work in practice.

Anonymous 66235

>>66231
>Very obvious, your mind/heart will tell you the difference
Why at that point? The mind/heart was talking about all the other things, why this specifically?

Anonymous 66236

>>66234
You too, anon. I can't accept LARP relationships or copes when the truth is right there, it's not respectful to me. Best of luck to you.

>>66235
Because
>the added social seethe factor to reassure you that you're not crazy so you can leave (which you were meant to do from the start, but you ignored the red flags)

Anonymous 66237

>>66236
>>the added social seethe factor to reassure you that you're not crazy so you can leave (which you were meant to do from the start, but you ignored the red flags)
I don't understand, what is this "social seethe factor" and why does it apply to cheating but not the other shitty traits?

Anonymous 66238

>>66226
>No, I'm saying if that's how you feel about a moid sleeping with someone else, and that fear fills you
Nta, the idea of my spouse betraying my trust fills me with murderous rage not fear.

Anonymous 66239

>>66237
Most people would consider cheating a dealbreaker. It's the most common one. Even the woman who's like "My boyfriend broke all my prized sculptures because he thinks they're dumb and he told me to thank him for it and I caught him putting roach legs in my food when he thought I wasn't looking, am I in the wrong here?" knows it, it's not something she can wave off.

Anonymous 66240

>>66239
>Most people would consider cheating a dealbreaker. It's the most common one.
Why? It's just another tick on the list right?

Anonymous 66241

>>66240
And yet, they know from countless other people talking about it that it's not just them if they dislike it. If you're asking why it's a dealbreaker in general, it's because a lot of people were already in bad relationships, and their LARP was disturbed, like I said.

Anonymous 66242

>>66238
Do you worry about it like it's something he/she would actually do?

Anonymous 66243

>>66242
No, I would just murder him in hot blood if he were to do it. I trust him not to, but I would kill him if he did. My trust is valuable, breaking it has consequences. I hold myself to ideals, and I hold him to ideals. Neither of us are perfect, but we don't let that stop us from striving to perfection together despite our flaws. As opposed to just throwing our hands in the air and giving up.

Anonymous 66244

>>66243
What is your idea of perfect, and what does it mean to have flaws?

Anonymous 66245

>>66241
>And yet, they know from countless other people talking about it that it's not just them if they dislike it.
I don't understand, why does it matter if it "isn't just them", do you believe people encourage strong relationships for social performative purposes?
>If you're asking why it's a dealbreaker in general, it's because a lot of people were already in bad relationships, and their LARP was disturbed, like I said.
Yeah, but why does it disturb the LARP? What makes physically cheating special? Because if it was just because it was something that was bad, all the other things would have broken the relationship, why is this one thing in particular special?

Anonymous 66246

>>66245
>I don't understand, why does it matter if it "isn't just them", do you believe people encourage strong relationships for social performative purposes?
You'd have to ask the women who second-guess themselves all the time, and unironically believe that they might just be being unreasonable if they want their moids to not be horrible.
>Yeah, but why does it disturb the LARP? What makes physically cheating special?
Because they're afraid of someone else "taking" the person, that they won't come back once they've fucked someone else. If that's possible, and if sex is the last thing left binding the two of you, it was fucked.

Anonymous 66247

>>66246
>You'd have to ask the women who second-guess themselves all the time, and unironically believe that they might just be being unreasonable if they want their moids to not be horrible.
Have you ever asked them?

Anonymous 66248

>>66247
>Have you ever asked them?
Yeah, and I explained why they're like that, but you keep asking, so maybe you'd get it better from someone who was directly like that?

Anonymous 66249

>>66248
Oh, so you've actually talked to someone who said that the only reason they stayed in a relationship with someone else was because of fidelity?

Anonymous 66250

>>66249
Yup, there's plenty of people like that. You sound really pissy about this, and I can't say I understand why.

Anonymous 66251

>>66250
Not pissy, I've just never interacted with someone like that. They sound retarded.

Anonymous 66252

>>66251
Not exactly, they just wanted to believe in something that wasn't working. It's the sunken cost fallacy in action.

Anonymous 66253

>>66252
Sunken cost fallacy is the epitome of retardation yes.

Anonymous 66257

>>66244
>What is your idea of perfect, and what does it mean to have flaws?
In a relationship? Myself helping him to be the best himself out of the possible set of himselves and him helping me to be the best myself out of the set of possible myselves. Why? To deal best with the problems that come from the tragedy that is existence. Doing the utmost good to the utmost of our abilities and being fair to each other and ourselves. None of that self-sacrificing bullshit "I am a doormat" shit, and none of that aggressive asshole "I control all of you" shit. I am his and he is mine. We mutually possess each other, this makes us a unified whole, two persons functioning as one towards the objective. You don't get that if the door on the relationship is open, especially given that sex is one of the most powerful emotional hormonal influencers on human behavior, period. There is a very, very powerful part of my brain that will be absolutely pissed if he breaks that agreement by engaging in sex with someone else, from my observation of his behavior, I am certain he also has this part of his brain. That part is not everything, but it must be respected, if it is not respected, it will manifest itself in the most horrible and cruel ways two people who live together can possible imagine, sinking daggers into each others hearts on their very deathbeds. There are cowards who exist that want to have the "image" of the ideal relationship to other people while getting walked all over, those people are stupid. There are people who want 100% control over their spouse and call that a "relationship", those people are cruel asshats. The former needs to toughen up, the later needs to soften up. I tend to be more cruel than my husband, my husband tends to be more soft than he probably should. That doesn't stop him from calling me out on my bullshit, because I trust he has his view of the best possible me in mind. That doesn't stop me from calling him out on his bullshit, as he trusts me on my view of the best possible him. I can trust his view because anything that benefits me benefits him, I can trust him because anything that benefits him benefits me, and the hormones and emotions and sanctity involved reinforce all of that. I would kill him if he fucked someone else. I would slap him square across the face if he called out someone else name during sex. I would talk to him if he notices an attraction to some other woman. I'm not fucking perfect, but like hell I'm going to let the only person I've ever let myself be vulnerable around walk on me and our agreement.

Anonymous 66258

>>66257
I should mention that if both of you are sleazy "swingers" and mutually agree to "swing" around beforehand. Whatever, I think you're messing with powerful things you don't understand, but I won't stop you from fucking up your life if you see fit. However, springing infidelity onto someone who was trying their damnedest to be a good person for the both of you is fucking disgusting and abusive. If you're going to want to be a swinger make sure the other fucking person is aware of it beforehand so they get the choice if they are comfortable with it.

Anonymous 66264

Is it that unreasonable? If you wanna fuck other guys, break uo with him. I wouldn't want my boyfriend sleeping around, its not unreasonable to want a faithful partner. If you can't agree on that then maybe you 2 shouldn't be together.
You can fuck other guys if you want, but don't expect someone to just be ok with it and call it irrational insecurity if they don't agree. People have different boundaries and if you can't adhere to them, then you should break up. Simple as that.

Anonymous 66265

>>66189
Fucking pickme

Anonymous 66266

>>66265
what happens to you though if they develop sexbots enough.

Anonymous 66268

>>66266
Who ever said anything about sexbots

Anonymous 66272

>>66181
It sounds like you don't love him. If you loved him then you wouldn't want to have sex with other people. In which case, just break up with him and find someone else.

Anonymous 66283

>>66219
pretty sure it is a moid.

Anonymous 66285

>>66181
You are missing out on bad sex, abusive relationships and even rape.

Later on you will regret these things, mark my words.

Anonymous 66292

>>66181
Do it and post the fallout here.

Anonymous 66295

I think this is bait because of the last sentence, but I can't believe there are legitimate anons agreeing. Drop your bf and find someone compatible if it is that important to you. No shame in it being important but you cannot fucking force someone to participate in your fetish. You can't have your cake and eat it too, this is an actual person you're affecting and crossing the boundaries of due to your greed. It really isn't that hard to find a man that wants open relationships.

Anonymous 66296

>>66181
Very high probability of being a moid bait post but idc I'll bite. I'm in a long term relationship with the man I lost my virginity to in my mid 20s and I don't for a minute think I'm missing out on anything. The thought of having sex with a guy I don't love seems thoroughly unappealing to me. I don't think feeling like you do is normal unless you are not satisfied with your relationship and are looking for a way out, like one of those guys sweeping you off your feet and finally convincing you to leave. I'd examine what exactly you want out of all that if I were you. Relationships are not supposed to make you feel trapped.

Anonymous 66305

>>66181

>I want to have sex with other men that's not my bf

ask yourself some questions first. why do you want sex with other men that's not your bf? are you missing something in your relationship? if so, did you talk about that? how open is your communication around sex? maybe you two are too embarrassed to even talk about the things you secretly wanna try? don't be shy and find a way (maybe through text instead of talking directly) to tell each other your sexual desires. if the sex is boring, how can you two spice it up again? are you (literally) running away from something in your current relationship? are you guys having any problems or conflicts about sex of even about something totally not related to sex? could that be a factor? is he not feeding your love language? is a certain behaviour of him making him very unattractive to you?

don't let bad or a lack of communication kill your sex life with your bf/husband
also, you're bf/husband, just like with friends, are never going to fully match with you and or agree with everything you say and think. that's life.
focus on the many things you two have in common, and yes, there will be things that don't match that good. is that a good reason to throw the relationship away and search for a better match who might not even exist?

>but I know he won't ever let me.

if that's true, and not just an assumption of yours, then it sounds like he adores the idea of only bounding with you. don't break his heart by seeing men behind his back. if you're sure about your promiscuous feelings then make them clear to him and let him decide whether he wants to be together with someone like you or not. don't waste his time by letting him live with not the whole truth about you. he doesn't know you think about sex with other men. don't let him stay living in this illusion that you only want sex with him.

>When I think about it I feel so bad knowing I'm letting my youth pass by while missing out on the experiences I should have while I'm young.

where did you get the idea that you should have these promiscuous experiences while you're young? how do you view sex? what does it mean to you and what do you get out of it?

>It frustrates me how possessive and insecure moids are with things like this

why do you find this to be possessive and insecure behaviour? does this also apply to woman who think the same thing?
guys can be possessive and insecure, yes, but that doesn't mean it's only related to sex.
e.g. a man who's insecure and thinks he's gonna lose you because he finds he's not worthy of you, will cling to you and have possessive behaviour. this is a weak man.
a strong man knows his worth and he wants you, he wants to spend his time and energy with you. he doesn't need you, unlike the weak and possessive man. the strong man lets you free to do whatever you want as long as you respect him, but when you cross a line aka disrespect him (e.g. have sex with other man, because he believes in monogamy and made that clear to you) he will no longer be interested in you and dump you.

some people place a lot of value on monogamy and believe in only saving themselves for each other in the sense of a romantic and sexual relationship
if you don't agree with this, but are still together with someone who does. i hope you tell them your point of view instead of letting them live a lie

i've seen relationship fall apart due to some unspoken daily irritations that killed their sexlife. they talked about a lot but not about their true feelings because of the fear of hurting one another. they lacked introspective behaviour. it all affected their attractiveness and love for each other and then killed their sex life.

TLDR
i see 'wanting to have sex with other men then my bf' as a symptom of a problem. to me this isn't a desire you have but a symptom of a problem that needs to be discoverend and healed.

Anonymous 66661

Dump him and get a cuck bf if you want a bf at the side while you try out different guys.

Anonymous 66679

If you feel like you’re “waisting” something by being with this man, you don’t really love him all that much. End the relationship, it’ll save everyone’s time and nerves.

Anonymous 66681

disgusting die.jpg

>>66204
and then all of you agree with him and cheer him on instead of calling him out. unreal.

Anonymous 66720

huak.jpg

i hope you get aids and die godwilling both if this is true or if you're a larping scrote

Anonymous 66726

>>66181
You are a degenerate coomer and
>I'm letting my youth pass by while missing out on the experiences I should have while I'm young.
sounds like something straight out of a shoddily written buzzfeed article
If you really want to sleep around, just break up with your moid and go back to the street.

Anonymous 66730


Anonymous 66731

>>66730
you have a bit left on the corner of your mouth whorechan

Anonymous 66732

>It frustrates me how possessive and insecure moids are with things like this
Are you implying women take the same position is you? because I sure don't.
If you want to sleep around the decent thing to do is break up with him (well, MOST decent anyway, "I'm breaking up with you to fuck other people" can't be an easy pill to swallow).
If you REALLY want to sleep around while in a relationship find a guy who's into that sort of thing.
At the end of the day the only thing that decides what is "correct" in a relationship is what both parties agree on.
You got into a relationship with a guy who doesn't approve of casual sex with other people, so yes, fucking other people while still being "with" him would be a scummy thing to do.

Anonymous 66734

1631206494261.gif

>>66731
BIG MAD

Anonymous 66735

obvious /r9k/ bait, why bother?

Anonymous 66756

>>66226
you're talking like you've gotten all of your opinions on men from the internet.
go outside, talk to people. they arent nearly as insane as you think.

Anonymous 66812

This thread rapidly became "how to cope with your cheating moid"
>N-nona I swear it's okay if your moid sleeps with 100 prostitutes as long as he comes back to you, it totally means he loves you not that he wants to take advantage of both the comfy wifey life and the single fuckboy life.
>I-i mean he might pass an STD onto you while at it. But hey, if we're animals after all why not act like total animals that can't control their impulses out of respect, it's only natural.

Nonas pls love yourselves a bit, i promise you deserve better.
Women have a lot more to lose in an open relationship because most moids perform like shit in bed, and a one night stand is much less likely to be willing to prioritize your pleasure and do what it takes to get you to orgasm.
Also your own cheating moid won't be physically able to perform as good for you after blasting other women's pussy left and right. It's a lose/lose situation.

Anonymous 66918

1518292718098.png

Genuine question cause I am autistic:
If a man demands you don't have any friends outside of him he is toxic. Obviously. Borderline abusive.

If a man demands you don't have any male friends or hug any of your friends that's slightly problematic but understandable.

If a man demands you don't flirt, get crushes or become sexually involved with other people that's normal, expected and you are the toxic person for even wanting that.

So where is the line? Why is it there? Why can I have multiple friends but only one romantic partner?

Anonymous 66919

>>66918
Are you still itt trying to make monos poly?
Just get with another polyam person, it's perfectly acceptable.

Anonymous 66921

>>66918
Meanwhile I don't have any friends or a romantic partner

Anonymous 66922

Duck Asuka.jpg

>>66918
The line is sexual intercourse. Anything before that line (e.g. don't flirt) is to help you never even be tempted to cross that fucking line. Borderline psychotic to tell you not to have crushes at all (natural physical impulse), but having a crush and actively fantasizing about sex with other people are two different things dipshit.

Anonymous 66937

>>66918
>hurr durr why can talk to many ppl but cannot stick dick in everyones pussys
Just join into a polycule already, nothing's stopping you?

Anonymous 66943

>>66942
get well soon alice!

Anonymous 66949

Casual sex brings you nothing OP, and orgasming from one is exceedingly rare and in the singlde digit percentages.
You aren't "missing out", you are just experiencing social pressures from men who want to get easy pussy.
Fuck hookup culture and fuck the oversexualization of modern society.
Women need to have better standards for men, and stop giving them free pussy. Something like FDS, but not as retarded.
>>66942
I looked at this image, and i thought that it was going to be a based post, but it's just another tradlarper shit.

Anonymous 66950

>>66942
always sad when memes become real life tbh

Anonymous 66951

>>66949
how did you see the meme and not realize it was going to be tradlarper shit, trad men love jerking off to the idea of a miserable sex addicted woman

Anonymous 66953

>>66951
It's not like the image is gonna guarantee a tradlarper. It's a meme about the sad state of a lot of modern girls who got turned into a walking stereotype of a coomer addicted to anti-deppressants who probably watches rough porn whenever she can't get dicked.
I've seen images like these posted around by a lot of people who weren't trad larpers.
>miserable sex addicted woman
I don't think they are addicted to sex, i more or less see them as addicted to scrote attention, which is why you'll find a lot of this type of women posting on Instagram/Tiktok/Twitter. They probably do sex as well only because of the attention.

Anonymous 67003

>>66212
the point is youre supposed to be attracted to the person you love not strangers, if you dont understand this youre doomed to be intensely alone

Anonymous 67015

>>66181
How would you feel if he went around fucking random girls? Because if you're not okay with that, why should he be okay with you fucking random guys?

Anonymous 67021

>>67015
What he doesn't know can't hurt him



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