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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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I can't trust my own emotions Anonymous 67709

Last night I wanted to die and even resorted to my old habits of self harm. Today I feel much better. I can't make decisions because I always change my mind and my emotions shift.

I don't know what to do with my life because of this. Sometimes I'm so up it's crazy. Other times I'm so down it's equally crazy. I don't really believe in medication tbh.

What should I do?

Anonymous 67713

Sounds like bipolar disorder

Anonymous 67719

You should still see a doctor and get diagnosed OP but explain that you want to try therapy and strategies first. Being able to read what helped people with the same thing will help too.

Anonymous 67731

>>67713
I don't know. That seems like such a meme to me, I hardly believe it's real.

>>67719
seeing a doctor does make sense. I'm not sure how one goes about doing that though. I haven't made a real appointment in my all adult life.

Anonymous 67736

>>67709
Not enough information here to even go by. I can't make heads or tails of what you're saying, because you're not describing the problem you're having.

Anonymous 67737

>>67713
It doesn't sound like anything clear unless she describes what's really going on.

Anonymous 67746

>>67736
>>67737
My issue is that my moods swing so much that I don't know what I really feel. I don't know when I'm in love, I don't know if I really want to die or if I'm just having a bad day. I can't trust myself because I'm so very dramatic and my emotions are intense.

It's hard to tell for example, if I am being taken advantage of and if I dislike someone, or if I am just insane and imagining things. And I really do imagine things sometimes. living is difficult because my perception of the world is constantly shifting…

Anonymous 67747

>>67737
She is describing alternating periods of mania with depression. OP is very likely bipolar. Go to the doctor OP. Bipolar is not the mental illness to fuck around with.

Anonymous 67750

>>67746
I 100% get it, I was a bit like that before, and my sister is like that too. Go see a psychiatrist OP, you need help. It's okay to need help, it doesn't make you less of a person, just like having any disease doesn't make you less of a person.
And please, please, for the love of anything you want, if a doctor tell you to take meds, take them. Don't go to the full schizo rabbit hole "big pharma just wants your money" and "pills are useless". Medication can be very important. I'm not saying you're going to need it, but if you do, you need to take them

Anonymous 67756

>>67709
If someone else were experiencing your symptoms, would you tell them not to take meds either?

Anonymous 67764

>>67746
Ohhh Some people could categorize that as bipolar, yes. By only approaching it that way, you're kind of limiting the definition of your problem tho.. If someone only tells you you're emotional and bipolar, its easy to ignore the source of it all. You risk continuing to get pushed and pulled indefinitely. I guess you should really just ask yourself if you want that?

Also honestly just sounds like you need to take a step back and breath. It could easily just be emotions getting the better of you in this moment. Meds can be really helpful for managing stress if you think you need them, but you can also say you're stressed. You don't have to assume you're bipolar. That's honestly extreme, and misguided to assume without a doctor. Your emotions can't tell you anything by themselves, they're just reactions to things. You don't need me to tell you that though. The best things in life direct you to a solid calm.
If there are things in your life that return you to this feeling of yoyoing.. Just ask what they are.
The point is there are a lot of great things that can you deliver you to peace. You don't have to feel like you're yoyoing constantly. Just ask yourself what brings you calm peace, without any extremes.

Anonymous 67765

>>67756
There are many solutions to the problem. It can easily just be stress from daily life. She could have just had a bad day too.

Anonymous 67766

>>67747
Oh my god, you don't have proof of any of that and neither do I. She could have a lot of things that stress her in her life too. That doesn't mean you've got some radical diagnosis, it can just mean you're under a lot of pressure or just experiencing something very negative on the regular.

Anonymous 67767

>>67765
Great to hear from you, now I want the person who actually has this problem and lives with it to tell me what she thinks someone else who has her exact same problem should do.

Anonymous 67783

>>67767
From what she's describing its hard to tell what her problems even are though. You sound like a damn moid "Take a pill and don't try to find out what's really wrong with you"

I'm just saying that's exactly how it sounds.

Anonymous 67785

SOOO sorry for trying to get in here and prevent her from only listening to the feedback telling her "She must have severe mental issues" :/

-Gaslighting 101, Thanks

Anonymous 67813

>>67750
I'm not sure how to do that. Finding an appropriate one I mean. I've gone to see a therapist exactly one and the woman told me she didn't know how to help me and couldn't take me on as a client.

I'm also a little wary of medication in general. I've heard that it dulls you and it seems like it really is just a business. I guess if I was European I'd be less suspicious but big pharma is a bit malevolent in the U.S.

>>67756
I wouldn't know what to tell them. Again, meds rub me the wrong way, but I wouldn't want to be responsible for them deteriorating because of my bad advice.

>>67764
I don't think I'm bipolar. I feel like if I was there would've been more obvious signs. I can function in life, it's just very, very difficult on bad days. Lately my life has been a bit hectic and it's hard to smooth out the things going on. I guess I could be reacting to problems I can't currently fix.

Usually the oppressive moods pass. I can't be miserable forever, it just takes too much energy. I'm calm currently, and a little embarrassed I posted this thread. I guess I was feeling awful and desperate when I did.

Anonymous 67820

>>67813
Hey anon sending hugs

Anonymous 67822

>>67813
Couldn't take you on as a client, because she couldn't tell how to help you??? I really recommend trying someone else. Sometimes finding a therapist can be like interviewing someone. I went to a ton of them when I was younger, and never had a single one tell me that. That's absolutely insane. This is coming from someone who was committed after being stalked like 3 times.

Anonymous 67825

>>67813
I've tried a lot of different things. I feel the same way about meds. But there is one med I treasure, and that is zoloft. It doesn't make you tired during the day, it doesn't make you feel flattened, or lose your spark, it doesn't make you lose sleep that long after you take it. It REALLY takes the edge off and thats all it does. You just have to be careful not to wear it out and build a tolerance. I take zoloft only when I need it. A lot of doctors probably won't recommend this, but they'll also want to make money prescribing you more meds. You could also just take it in smaller amounts or simple take it during the months you have to go to school, or during months you have to juggle an insane amount of things.

Anonymous 67832

>>67766
Mental illnesses are generally difficult to diagnose but this is pretty telling
>And I really do imagine things sometimes. living is difficult because my perception of the world is constantly shifting
This is not even hypomania, it is full-fledged mania. I know some people want to believe mento illness is a meme and everything has some holistic "source", but that's not the case with bipolar disorder. It is very much physical and it cannot be cured by itself or by introspecting alone. It could of course be anything else, but going by what OP said alone, it seems pretty typical.

OP go to the doctor.

Anonymous 67833

>>67832
>>my perception of the world is constantly shifting
Mania or cognitive dissonance?

Anonymous 67834

>>67833
Cognitive dissonance is quite common during manic episodes in people with bipolar. Because they know their elevated mood and inflated confidence are not anchored to reality and that soon will come a crash.
>I don't know when I'm in love, I don't know if I really want to die or if I'm just having a bad day.
>Last night I wanted to die
>Today I feel much better
If you're depressed, you're depressed. You don't go from suicidal in one night to normal or even in high spirits the very next day.

Anonymous 67848

>>67834
That's what they say about everything thats challenging. People get surprised when they are stressed and call it "bipolar" like they've been doing here. And yet.. way back in the day I can recall how most things related to //people// caused most of those problems. Everything in my life steeply improved and when I had "mood swings" it was always a factor of someONE in my life causing mayhem, not actually what I was doing. If anything all my life I feel so glad I didn't let people get up up in my business and tell me I was insane, because I improved staggeringly doing things people said I shouldn't.

Anonymous 67874

>>67848
Sorry anon but it seems like you don't know what you're talking about. Not everything goes back to stress and interpersonal relationships. There are mental illnesses that would manifest even if anon had the most stable environment and upbringing. Bipolar disorder is one of them.
Again, she might not have it but the only way to know is going to a doctor.



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