It sounds like you enjoy feeling out of place on some level since it give you your uniqueness hence makes you superior
>whenever I tell very average, normal people this
but then again psycho analysing people on the internet doesn't really help them I guess

>>67975
That isn't psycho-analysis.

>>67972
Is this supposed to be a vent post? Because I don't see any questions or content I can respond to as opposed to around.

>very mentally ill
>growing up "homeschooled" with no contact with humans
>insane mother
And you still managed to get a fiance… how? Gotta love it when other people mention their difficult childhoods and mental illnesses on this board but casually throw in they have a boyfriend/fiance/husband. Yes, I'm seething very hard right now.

>>67980
It's just a normalfag thing, femcels wouldn't understand.

>>67982
OP said she doesn't feel like a normalfag. Again, how?

>>67983
Normalfags don't realize they're normalfags, completely understandable.

>>67972
Not to turn this into a “who is the most fucked up” kind of thing but yeah dude how do you have someone who loves you if you’re really so strange? I feel very alienated and miserable all the time too, and I never fit in with anyone. That has made it so that I’ve also never had any boyfriends or girlfriends or anything. Something not adding up!!! Even right now I’m hiding in a bathroom bleeding all over the floor because I’m scared to talk to my coworkers, scared to ask anyone for a tampon or a pad, I hate my life and I’m jealous of you anon

>>67980
>>68018
You can fit in with no one and get married just fine. It's a somewhat well-documented schizoid phenomena. Two people that basically have no social lives somehow find and shack up together.

I'm not saying OP is Schizoid, but finding love without friendships is a known phenomena.

>>67972
honestly I don't really look for whether or not I relate to someone that much. I focus on whether or not I can have fun with them–not whether or not they truly understand me or I feel at home. I grew up similarly to you–except I learned how to speak when I was 12 because my parents hated me. I also have autism so…yeah.

Idk, it sounds like much of it is feelings. You're hyperfixated on some "place" when really it's impossible to find a place where everything feels perfectly ok because you're used to inevitably feeling disassociated from others. You're looking for a certainty other people can't provide. Likewise, even you feeling dirty and alien is probably half you–these are very, very specific, very loaded words. And it makes it sound like you have a few hang-ups with how you see yourself in conjunction to others…ones that I don't fully understand, but go deeper than what you expressed.

I'm not saying it isn't true that you struggle with finding people you truly resonate with. You probably do. For all I know you literally want to show your affection by throwing poo at people or something actually outlandish like that.

>>68018
I can relate. I spent my entire college life hiding in bathrooms and it was so soul-crushing.

>>67982
>>67983
>>67984
No one who posts on imageboards is a normalfag.

>>67975
Yes, it makes me feel so superior to feel isolated all the time and have no one to relate to, including groups of people literally designed for weird women. I'm literally not unique in any cool way such as being a genius or super abnormally talented. I'm posting on fucking crystal cafe about being lonely, I feel so special.
>>67980
Yes I have a fiance, that's not the pinnacle of existence. He is drunk 24/7 and has his own massive slew of problems. Eileen Wurnos (however the hell you spell her last name) had a long time girlfriend, would you honestly say she suffered less than you?
>>68018
Ok, we'll swap lives, I'll take your social anxiety and you can have live in a filthy house with my alcoholic fiance and you can constantly feel like people are trying to kill you because being a homeless prostitute and having two parents that have tried to murder you has turned you into a paranoid mess. Oh, you can also have my BPD and psychosis spells and only have self harm and drugs to self-soothe.
>>68019
fucking thank you. Everyone in this thread just sounds like those girls that thinks once they get married it's going to be happily ever after because the worst thing on earth is being single.

>>68050
I don't enjoy being around people because people want to kill me or harm me. I want to meet someone who doesn't just get pleasure out of harming me, but I don't know if it exist.

Honestly I don't know why the fuck I come here, since yalls mindset is either social anxiety femcel or completely normal person excelling at life. There are all kinds of problems that aren't just either "I can't find a boyfriend/girlfriend" or "I am completely happy and fulfilled because I'm not single". Like if someone comes in here and says their husband is beating them, are yall just gonna respond with
>husband
Well you're doing better than me :(

>>67979
Do you know what venting is? Venting is literally just bitching about something to get it off your chest.

>>68160
>Venting is literally just bitching about something to get it off your chest.
This aptly describes OP.

>>68158
uhh
>kill
>harm
what's happening specifically?

>>68158
It exist

>>68157
why are you engaged to an alcoholic that you complain about on imageboards

>>68221
I find it really weird that she is whining about the people in this thread thinking marriage is a happily ever after when it looks like her being extremely delusional about her potential marriage yet doing it because it's apparently much better than being single–according to her own rhetoric.

>>68157
I already have BPD but nice try!! And no thanks keep your stupid alcoholic moid