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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 68539

do you guys cry regularly? I cry like 4 times a week and I hate it, I feel like I'm so emotionally weak, I don't think I have ever seen any man from my family cry unless we were at a funeral, and even then it's just a couple of tears, I wish I was more like them

Anonymous 68541

Men don't cry because they have a chemical makeup making it more difficult, it's not an accomplishment lol

Anonymous 68542

My father rarely cries because everyone in his family was taught to be cowards who avoid emotional issues and pretend everything is alright
So when we touch on some emotional topic like me being a fucking depressed loser at 25 because he allowed me to be addicted to the internet when I was little, or me being insanely afraid of him and mom dying and how much he loves me, he breaks down

But no, I haven't cried recently, I guess I cried today a little tiny bit because someone made fun of my "girly" and "shitty" hobby, yesterday a bit because I thought of my dead pet, and a few days ago I also cried a little thinking about my crush
But other than that, I've been much less depressed in the last few months

Anonymous 68543

>>68542
Oh and also I grew up as a tomboy who tried to copy her dad's personality and be "manly" so I also learned to suppress AND repress my emotions which lead to me choking up and breaking into tears whenever I had to talk about my feelings

Anonymous 68544

FB_IMG_16356113819…

>But no, I haven't cried recently
>I guess I cried today a little tiny bit because someone made fun of my "girly" and "shitty" hobby, yesterday a bit because I thought of my dead pet, and a few days ago I also cried a little thinking about my crush
uhhh anon? anyways when I said I cry 4 days a week I didn't mean like full blown crying just tears running down my face :/ full on crying is like 1 every two weeks for me

Anonymous 68550

>>68543
me too anon. i have 3 brothers also and was told all my life to just suck it up like the boys do, i am emotionally retarded now because girls don't work like that. :(

Anonymous 68592

>do you guys cry regularly
not really. sometimes i wish i cried more because i feel like it's a good release of emotion, and i just feel really bottled up at times.

for example, i was feeling super anxious and frustrated yesterday and really really wanted to cry (i tried) but couldn't. i still feel as if i hold some of those emotions from yesterday.

my mom cries a ton and i think i've only seen my dad cry twice. we used to make fun of my mom for it when we were little, and i think that's why i have so much trouble crying now. i feel so embarrassed and vulnerable when i cry, so it stays in.

Anonymous 68593

My dad cries all the time, at the drop of a hat. So did some of my exes, but certainly not all of them, because people each have distinct personalities beneath the tough facades they feel they must put on for others. Most fathers dont cry in front of their kids for the same reason you probably go to hide alone when you cry. My dad doesnt bother since he cries so often kek. We could be talking about anything and he'll mention some time gone by and I'll glance over and he's all teary-eyed. I'll miss that a lot when he's gone.

>do you guys cry regularly?

I cry once or twice a month, maybe less or more depending on what's going on, but usually just because I'm sad for someone else or experience a loss or something, I feel an inner peace most of the time, but do have moments of really profound sadness where things can feel futile or whatever (other than like one or two major issue that stress me out, but those can't rule my life). When I was younger I used to cry when I got frustrated but somehow grew out of that without noticing. Hope things look up for you OP, I used to be so hysterical about things and have no golden answer to give you, all I can say is emotional weakness doesnt exist and there is nothing wrong with crying, it will come and go as your life moves through phases. To compare yourself to men or anyone who spend all day acting a certain way is to ignore how they are really feeling deep down too, we're all human. Disregard them, most of the ones I know are total ballsacks with true weakness of character, your "emotional" weakness is nothing to be ashamed of or beat yourself up over, just get up, dust yourself off, and carry on, as it should be.

Anonymous 68606

>>68593
>We could be talking about anything and he'll mention some time gone by and I'll glance over and he's all teary-eyed. I'll miss that a lot when he's gone.
Hahahaha, ah… now I'm sad.
>all I can say is emotional weakness doesnt exist and there is nothing wrong with crying
This is correct. It makes sense to cry when your mind is full of worries and other negative thoughts even if it's for no apparent reason, in other words, when you're depressed. Crying because you're sad or worried (or even very, very happy) or whatever is not emotional weakness, it's a natural response.

Anonymous 68610

Not frequently. It usually isn't something external that triggers it like hearing bad news. It is usually when I'm dwelling on something or hating myself. I also cry when I vomit which happens sometimes, I have some kind of stomach problems

Anonymous 68611

>>68607
Do you feel ashamed when you cry? I used to hate being seen as weak by others so I hid my pain and sadness, that's why it was so difficult for me to get used to crying in front of others, even in contexts where it would be most natural. In fact, I still find it hard to let myself be seen like that by my mom. I also hated it when I saw her or anyone else cry (I'm still afraid of it but I don't get mad anymore), because it was so damn awkward.
In reality there is no shame in opening up and being honest about these feelings, especially when you're with people who love you unconditionally like your parents. Doing so makes you feel much better than if you were to hide all your emotions, it takes a weight off your shoulders. I think we have to communicate more.

Anonymous 68617

>>68610
yeah same, i dont think theres any news that if told to me could upset me to the point of crying. But usually its brooding or reflection that sets me off. I wish i cried more to let out stress but it doesnt happen often, ends up only happening yearly

Anonymous 68625

>do you guys cry regularly?

Not as much as I used to but I guess it just fluctuates. But yes, I would say I cry regularly. I honestly find it cathartic and healing though, like I'm getting everything out. I think I have a pretty good relationship with my emotions and mental health, and crying regularly is a big part of that. Just because I cry a lot doesn't mean as though I feel like I'm not in control of my emotions - it's quite the opposite and I actually feel quite strong and confident. If I didn't cry and let it out/let myself feel it as much then I don't think I would feel as string because then I would just be forcing myself to hold it in.



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