I don’t have an answer. I am hoping that some breaking point or something so devastating happens that I get the adrenaline and strength to follow through.

Are you taking any anti-depressants? They really help motivate people to make changes in their life they weren't feeling up to before, which is why they always have the disclaimers of increasing suicidal thoughts & actions.

>>69490
nta but being on antidepressants for half my life made me worse, especially the lasting side effects.

for OP, i'd listen to your self preservation instincts, since i have the same "issue". i don't believe in religion or whatever but even if 1% of me still wants to stay alive, that might mean there's something worth it out there, idk