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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 70086

I’m in my mid twenties and female in North America and I’m obsessed with my mother, I don’t know when it began but My whole life and existence is about her. She doesn’t feel the same way about me, infact she’s been abusive and hurtful to me since I was 6, I yearn for her cuddles and affection, instead I’m deprived of it. I’ve never opened up to anyone about my obsession with my mother, besides my first and current counsellor, she doesn’t know how deep my obsession goes unfortunately. I still share a queen size bed with my mother, I’ve been sharing beds with her since I was a kid. I have my own bedroom now but I still willingly want to sleep beside her every night, I wait for her all day to come home from work. Idk what’s wrong with me

Anonymous 70087

Sounds like you want affection that she's not providing? Take a look at r/raisedbynarcissits

Anonymous 70089

Yes maybe that is true, but I can’t stop and I don’t know how too

Anonymous 70100

Interdasting please tell us more

Anonymous 70107

What else would you like to know? I’m probably gonna kill myself when my mother dies, I have elaborate plans for that

Anonymous 70162

I’m the same. I feel the most comfortable when sleeping with my mother and I will probably throw myself into the grave with her when she dies because I can’t see life without her in it. I’m 24. I have to go to medical school soon so maybe this is it, I will never live at home again and my eyes water whenever I think about it. My mother is abusive but in a traditional/misogynistic way… upholding our culture. She cares in her own way.

OP have you dated?

Anonymous 70269

I have dated and just ended my first serious relationship with a man, it was heartbreaking but the whole time I keep thinking “he’s just some guy, he will never reach the level of importance like my mother has to me”

Anonymous 70272


Nothing wrong with you, you just have a very difficult situation for humans & other mammals. We all want motherlove. When mother hurts us we want it more, creating a sort of pain-loop. I haven't lived enough to know the answer to your problem for sure but I am sure there is a way to the good for you? Maybe in religion (Mary is the mother of us all, according to some people) or forming a motheringmothered bond with another? Or in waiting until she comes around … often mean parents come around, after your 20s. That's very common

Anonymous 70289

I feel eternally deprived of my mothers love, despite her being the only ones love I yearn for, I don’t care about anyone else in my life besides my mom (I have many people in my life to begin with anyhow) I’ve been told before to turn to faith

Anonymous 70290

Yes there's something wrong with her, clearly she has issues having been abused during her childhood by her own mother.

Anon you should open up to your counsellor or seek a therapist. This is not normal and not healthy and beyond the skills and knowledge of anons here to help you.

Anonymous 70304

I tried to talk to my counselor about my mom, but all my counselor does is wanna talk about me

Anonymous 70327

This is so unusual to me because I'm the complete opposite, and the idea of being so loving to my mother is vomit-inducing. Although this post and all your other posts in this thread seem unnatural, because every normal person that I know has a much more toned-down love for their mother. All I can think of is that perhaps you need to find a partner to redirect all of that love and affection to.

Anonymous 70351

My therapist says she thinks I have separation anxiety to my mother, and I agree with her tbh. I can’t imagine wanting to live my life if my mom is gone or dead

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