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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 70546

My therapist raised her voice at me and I didn’t defend myself, I feel like such a pussy girl. I don’t know if it’s because I like her too much which is rare because it’s hard for me to like people, and when I begin liking people I almost let them do or say whatever they desire to me. She raised her voice at me midsession when I told her the only time I don’t get anxiety is when I’m sleeping, she might have misunderstood this as my being sarcastic but I really was being honest. She raised her voice at me after this and said “Okay-UHHHH!!!” in a very meangirl sadistic way, it sounded so unlike her but for some reason it sounded like the “REAL” her, aka the her that she is outside of being a therapist. I feel like such a lil bitch for not standing up for myself. After she raised her voice at me, we sat in silence for a minute and then she kinda noticed I wasnt standing up to her so instead of apologizing, she “corrected” herself by going “okay 🥰 hmm” in the normal mommy gentle warm tone she uses with me, it was awkward because it was like she knew I wasn’t standing up for myself to her, so instead of saying sorry to me and confronting what she did, she instead said the same thing but in a different tone

Anonymous 70551

Spill red paint in front of her office door in the middle of the night (beware the security cameras)

Anonymous 70557

>>70551
Idk where her office is, I know where her college is because she’s a student therapist lol. We do therapy online and on the phone, but I found her social medias (which funny enough she uses aliases on, I somehow found them still)

Anonymous 70561

received_880793552…

It sounds like she was just taken aback by your confession, since feeling anxiety all the time is extreme. And you started overthinking it like an autist

Anonymous 70670

>>70561
I'm autistic so I don't know how to interpret her reaction either, but it still sounds very unprofessional and judgemental. What kind of therapist acts like that because of such a harmless confession, seriously ?
If she can't even deal with that, you don't want to trust her with your problems, OP.
I'd say, trust your gut feeling and get away. You might be tempted to continue seeing her to prove yourself to her but you'll regret it in the long term. A therapist told me "I've never seen anything like that before" in a condescending manner, yet I gave that cunt the benefit of the doubt and kept seeing her. It just got worse and to this day I still feel like a pathetic cuck for doubting myself. Most therapists are useless at best or fuckwads at worst, finding a good one is hard. Stop the damage now.
If you like her because she's motherly to you, maybe you have an issue with parental figures. There is an ex-therapist called Daniel Mackler who talks about parental and therapeutic abuse and how the two are linked, you might find interest in his youtube channel.
Also, I feel you. Being assertive and knowing when and how to stand up for yourself is tough for sure.

Anonymous 70671

>>70546
>it sounded like the “REAL” her, aka the her that she is outside of being a therapist
This is why it's hard to trust people like therapists, counsellors, teachers and nurses. Behind their professional masks, they're the same as everyone else.

Anonymous 70687

>>70670
My theory is at that point she was expressing in a passive aggressive way that she’s had just about “enough” of me, she’s had enough of my sad life and trivial apathetic day and life where it’s unconsciously leaking out of her and onto me now. It was scary, the way she said it, because she sounded so cold and cruel. I felt like I was being punished or about to be, which is why I froze up. Also she’s only 3 years older than me, and she sometimes switched between behaving like a friend or peer to me (which I’ve never had) or behaving like a mother to me (which I lack)

Anonymous 70688

>>70671
I still am so attached to her somehow, not in a sexual way or I love her way, but in a way that I kinda wish I never met her

Anonymous 70691

>>70687
Leave her a bad Yelp review.

Anonymous 70692

>>70691
She isn’t registered on anything yet, she’s a counsellor in university who’s working under the supervision of a registered psychologist, she’s still a student

Anonymous 70694

>>70671
>behind their professional masks, they’re the same as everyone else.
Of course they are. They’re people too, but that’s why they go through training to make sure they learn how to not get their personal shit mixed up in their profession.

Anyway OP, if your therapist made you feel uncomfortable that’s not your fault and doesn’t make you a pussy for not saying anything lol. Counselors are trained to be prepared to hear much worse, so if she had a reaction like that to you then that’s just a sign that she’s a shitty therapist and not that your baggage was too much for her to handle. Is there any way you can bring up to her that the way she responded to you made you uncomfortable? It’s possible that there’s another explanation that you could be missing since we can’t really read her mind. It sounds like since you’re still attached to her it might be worth at least trying to sort it out, but I also understand if you’d feel uncomfortable doing that. Maybe you could think of a response in your head to say the next time she does it so you can point it out to her (though hopefully that won’t happen again).

Anonymous 70836

232893273_61279955…

Anon, I think it's a good idea to tell her how this felt to you - she won't really know for sure unless you tell her, and also it's really good practice being assertive! Some of my most productive therapy sessions came after my therapist unintentionally invalidated me. It helped me to process some deep shit about how I felt abandoned all the time as a kid. I hope she owns her shit and apologizes, and helps you process why this hurt you.

Anonymous 70840

>>70836
this this this

Anonymous 70862

>>70836
this. now is a good time as any to break the cycle - it's hard to stand up for yourself in the moment but if you confront her now, it will be good practice for standing up for yourself in the future. and when you confront her you don't need to go off on her and unleash your fury, all you have to do is just simply explain that her reaction not only made you feel uncomfortable standing up for yourself, but invalidated your feelings and made you feel apprehensive about being honest with her (or whatever it is that you feel).

if she continues to be a jerk, boom, there's your answer - let her know you think it's best you find someone else to work with.


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