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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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teenage years wasted Anonymous 71085

did anyone else have this kind of issues growing up, or was i exceptionally more prone to getting triggered than others? i don't know anyone in real life who went through something similar.

Anonymous 71088

Can you explain a bit more?

Anonymous 71090

I'm thankful to whatever religion that tumblr wasn't around when I was a teenager but I did waste my teens and 20s on stupid harmful online shit

Anonymous 71130

Yes i wasted my teenage years. Tfw a new theme in my dreams in addition to my mom still being alive is me being back in highschool and having friends or having had friends in highchool and keeping in touch with them at the present moment. How am i supposed to feel like ive ever existed

Anonymous 71133

your brain wasn't fully developed and you were just doing what it took to survive. forget about highschool and think about what you can do now to get a nicer life

Anonymous 71135

what's the anime girl with the bandage over her eye and black short hair from?

Anonymous 71143


i feel like i lost a lot of my youth to mental illness. severe depression and anxiety kicked in around age 11 and after that it really was exhausting just to get up and interact with people, much less make friends. when i got into hs the few friends i had kinda tossed me to the side and i spent most of my time alone. im now in my second year of college and ive never been to a party or had a boyfriend. i cant watch coming-of-age movies because they make me so depressed over what i could have had

Anonymous 71146

I was so fucking insecure as a teenager, I would take everything personally and lash out when my ego was even slightly bruised.

It's very shameful for me, in retrospect. So many people wanted to just genuinely help me out / get me involved, yet I was too edgy and cool to take up on the offer.
I think back on these days and cringe. People reached out for me and I spit on their outstretched hands.

My only excuse is that I grew up in a dysfunctional family and learned not to trust anything or anyone. Still a shitty and selfish reason to reject kindness with smug disdain, but that is my cope for now.

Part of me wishes that I was bullied instead of accommodated, because then at least I'd be feeling a smug vindication right now, instead of shame and regret.
Sometimes I just want to apologize to every single person who reached out to me genuinely, whom I brushed off as two faced manipulators.
These days, I'd take pity over indifference any time.

Anonymous 71147

Yes. I kinda wish my parents would have limited my access to internet. I spent so much time just doing nothing in the internet, not caring about school, learning things or meeting people, that I feel like I wasted my teenage years.

Anonymous 71149

Don't worry about it, coming of age movies are bullshit and the average person becomes a boring suburbanite normie.

Anonymous 71159

One could say that I wasted my teenage years, but I don't regret it. From ages 15 to 18 I spent as much time as I could playing retarded assfaggots (MOBAs games) and browsing moidchan. I was also addicted to porn. Needless to say that I dropped out of school, despite being a good student initially.

I could feel bad about this, and I do at times, like you OP. But then I reminisce I ask myself : what else were I supposed to do back then ? I couldn't magically made happen a rich social life with tons of fun parties and teenage love. I was severly socially impaired, for whatever reason, making me a pretty unlikable unhinged "sperg". A lot of anons here talk about having social anxiety, which was probably your case too, and this stuff… doesn't magically go away. Magical thinking is a meme pushed to sell you self improvement books. You probably tried as much as you could to fit in, since teenagers are the age group more inclined to do so. You did as much as you could, but whatever you did, it was never enough, if not straight up self sabotage.

What are you supposed to do in that case ? How are you going to redirect that teenage urge for ideals and dopamine induced thrills ? You become a SJW tumblrina and play video games (or develop an ED/self harm habits).
There is nothing wrong about coping when things go wrong. Especially as a teenager, when you still don't have a fully developped brain. I feel like there is too much pressure about our teenage years, that are supposed to be the best time of our lives. Society-wise, it's pretty recent : it begun in the 50s-60s in the west. As you can guess, it's correlated to the rise of consumerism, sexual liberation and death of spirituality. "Fun" thrills are now the most intense form of experiences modern society expect you to have. Teenage years is the life stage when you are expected to have such thrills, because you're not old enough to have adult responsibilities fall on you. This is why adolescence is so idolized.

However :
1) You can have fun later in life. I did it in my early 20's the most, and still expect to have partying/dumb shit outlets until I'm physically unable to do so. A lot of people are like this. I know plenty of people in their 30's and 40's that go out regularly to clubs, drink, do graffiti, skateboard… etc. And they're balanced people.
2) If it's not your thing, you don't have to. As I said before, the societal pressure to have fun is well, a societal pressure. You don't have to define yourself around societal expectations. If you feel frustrated, get into spirituality and esoterism (no need to convert to some scrote worshipping religion, fuck desert cults). You can also get deep into some hobby that feels meaningful to you.

In the end, all I can say is : fuck this post-modern social construct that is teenage years.

Anonymous 75147

I make my life upside down compared to other people. I only went to school until I was fourteen, one year I did nothing, and from the age of 16 I started a small business. No friends, no partner, no social activity in general. Progress only in the economic, and in everything that has to do with business. I always hoped to go back to school, play a sport, go to a church group, go to a spiquaitra, or whatever, but the pandemic did not help.
I spent much of my adolescence trying to solve family problems, trying to solve my financial life, and stuck in front of a screen. I still don't think all is lost, although sometimes I think it is, I think I'm still young, I'm still 19 years old, I can take school back, I can sign up for a sport now that they're open, I can socialize more, and get back the lost time. But thinking about it, I think I didn't waste my time, I think I just took advantage of it differently from most people.

Your words really were of great encouragement to me, I send you a big hug Anon.

Anonymous 75154

I feel like my teenage years were wasted but by other people. My parents never went anywhere or did anything, never cared to introduce to new things or try new things themselves, sent me to a terrible school, lived in the most boring place on earth, never invested in anything I showed interest or talent in, etc. School was the same.

I suppose the only good thing to come out of that is that I spent ridiculous amounts of time alone and have been able to make a career out of my internet abilities, though I could have done that with other hobbies had I been given a chance.

Now I'm in my late twenties but I'm sort of reliving those years, trying out all things I never got to before. Today I decided I wanted to give skateboarding/longboarding a try. I don't care if I look weird, it looks like a fun hobby.

Anonymous 75250

i’m starting to come to terms with it a bit more but i feel like i’ve wasted my entire adolescence as well. i was the ugly quiet girl who could never make friends with social anxiety and was always excluded from things. the person who always had to have a random partner assigned because no one would pair up with you basically. it’s partially my fault but that doesn’t stop me from feeling despair when i think about it. to this day i’ve never been on a date, to a party, or crushed on by someone, much less my affections returned by someone else. i know movies and tv are fake, but all of my peers irl have done much more than i have, while i still struggle with the most basic of tasks like talking to others. i don’t know anyone else in the same situation as me, and supposedly it only goes downhill from here..at the very least i would’ve liked to have a skill but because of my own apathy and laziness i slacked on my hobbies and i’m no longer at the point where it would’ve been considered impressive for my age. it should make me want to practice more but when i think about how younger and far more talented people are doing what i aspire to it just makes me want to stop trying.

Anonymous 75263

I wasted literally my entire youth by being a shut-in but looking back on it, I was so ugly and weird that even if I had tried my very best to be normal and well adjusted, people would still never have accepted me and I still would never have had a bf or friends anyway so hey ho.

Anonymous 75270

same. i was part of a big family so i just did whatever my siblings did, even if i didn't have a knack for it at all. grew up in a boring suburb with no opportunities, grew up with the same classmates who ridiculed me and thought i was weird so they ostracized me. that really ended up fucking me up because now i have the social skills of someone who grew up in isolation. i stammer a lot and shake even if a harmless stranger comes up to ask me directions.
>make a career out of my internet abilities
consider yourself lucky. i grew up playing useless mobas and mmos, prevented me from discovering any skills and developing them.

Anonymous 75377

i spent the majority of my teen years up to age 21 being a miserable, unstable, on-and-off drug addict with an extreme self harm addiction & eating disorder. after escaping a drug-addled, abusive relationship that ruined my life, i had enough & voluntarily spent my 21st birthday in rehab/sober living, stayed for about a year, then spent the next couple of years rebuilding my life from absolutely nothing. i'm 25 now and i feel like i wasted the entirety of my youth being a maladaptive retard just because i had a fucked up childhood like everyone else. not a day goes by that i don't feel regret and shame for the decisions i made. i still have several currently untreated mental disorders including severe ADHD, so even now i feel like i'm wasting time because i'm not the "best" version of myself i could be. it's fine, i'm doing what i can, but i absolutely wish things turned out differently.

Anonymous 75398

ok thats it im hugging the fuck out of all you bitches

Anonymous 75400

Anonymous 75420

I feel like I had a fun time despite being a shutin. I wish I could do that for the rest of my life. But traveling and friendships sounds like a lot of work to me. Might be nice to try new food or see new places but there’s a chance I’ll get food poisoning or just get too tired to walk all day.

If I could I would still be a shutin forever.

Anonymous 75425

I avoided most events in high school and avoided socializing so much that by senior year I didn't even bother learning 90% of my classmates' (and even some teachers') names and faces. Now in college I've been working hard to improve myself academically, but no effort socially so now I feel like even more of a social retard than I did in high school. I only see it getting worse in that department from here, tbh.

But I'm studying a field that offers a very lucrative career path, so I'm hoping at least through a higher salary I could at start fixing myself through therapy one day. I don't think money will solve all my problems, but it sure as hell could solve alot of them.

Anonymous 75433

I can relate, I always wanted to see places and etc. but I can't even muster up any energy and not be too exhausted to enjoy it. I probably had like 2 days in my entire life I had energy to do anything adventurous.

It's pretty sad on the outside looking in though being a shut-in can be very enjoyable tbh. I have my own work at home business and I'm a bit of a loser that is incapable of making friends IRL now because of a speech disability.

In line with OP…I'm pretty sure it's because something went wrong in my development.

Anonymous 75492


Shiina from Yakedo Shoujo, i spent years waiting for the whole manga to be translated only to be very disappointed with the ending and in those years of wait i outgrew my own chuuninyou and self harming for attention and it became unbearably cringe and i couldn't take it seriously anymore so, consider the following: very triggering if you're impressionable and suicidal, huge waste of time if you're a normal person.

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