I'm going to be straight up with you, it takes a lot more than love to have a good healthy relationship. Just because this one happens to be your first boyfriend doesn't mean you should feel particularly attached to them. Especially when they continually try to change you to suit their needs without putting you first. I also wouldn't put too much stock in the words of somebody who does ecstasy or any hard drug.
I know they are very few and far between but they're do exist good men out there that will make a bunch better partner for you that won't make you feel like shit just for being born with a certain eye color or whatever. It's your life and you shouldn't keep people around that are only going to drag you into the Earth with them. There is no one else in this world that can fight your battles for you or look out for you so you've got to learn to do it for yourself before it's too late.
It sounds like you are in an incredibly vulnerable state so you really can't have shitty people like that around.