This really annoys me too. I put so much energy into trying to socialise “correctly” and ignore comments that I find rude that probably aren’t rude to NTs. My masking is basically being a doormat.
Yet NTs can’t do the smallest thing for NDs unless it is over the top in a pitying self serving patronising way.
Letting NTs constantly control what is “right” in every situation is extremely damaging to NDs. I honestly think part of the reason that NDs are so easily taken advantage of is not just that they miss things and are gullible but also that they are constantly being told by the world that whatever they feel is wrong. NTs will comment on or get offended the tiniest tone or facial expression change yet don’t hesitate to tell an ND person that the lights aren’t too bright, the food doesn’t taste weird, the clothes are scratchy, etc.
The ND person eventually learns to ignore all their own instincts and instead rely on the reactions of others (and if the NTs are the ones gaining from the situation, they aren’t going to signal something is wrong).