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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 71914

Why do NTs do this?

Anonymous 71915

Reality is that autists and other not so social people should tell new people they met how they are and that they don't do anything in ill will

Anonymous 71921

And how do you think people would react really?

Anonymous 71928

It probably could ease communication but so many NTs lump all NDs together or see autism as a weakness to be exploited.

Anonymous 71938

True. I tell people pretty early that I have poor social skills, sometimes make a joke out of it. They rarely reach out to befriend me but they do treat me gently once they know. Otherwise they would just think I'm a cold bitch.

Anonymous 71955

I do this, and helps me from getting bullied, but then everyone walks on eggshells around me, as if they were uncomfortable about the fact sigh.
That, or they treat me like I’m a retard.

Anonymous 71960

>"Hello. Nice to meet you."
>"Hi. I have autism."
>"Oh. How interesting."

Anonymous 72014

Great, so even if you are nonexistent to the people around you, they will hate you for it.
I did that once with a colleague. I told them I didn't mean to be unsocial or anything, I'm just weird. They bluntly told me it doesn't matter how I mean it, they take offense to it.

Anonymous 72038

>They bluntly told me it doesn't matter how I mean it, they take offense to it.
What the fuck do they have to be offended about? Seriously, why do people get offended by this? It makes no fucking sense, the entire world isn't about YOU and what YOU want and YOUR social preferences that are all trivial bullshit. Somebody fucking explain this to me, why people are so entitled to think the rest of the world has to bend over backwards to meet their social preferences, not even taking into consideration the difficulty some people go through to socialize? I want to kick normalfag teeth in when I read shit like this

Anonymous 72048

This really annoys me too. I put so much energy into trying to socialise “correctly” and ignore comments that I find rude that probably aren’t rude to NTs. My masking is basically being a doormat.

Yet NTs can’t do the smallest thing for NDs unless it is over the top in a pitying self serving patronising way.

Letting NTs constantly control what is “right” in every situation is extremely damaging to NDs. I honestly think part of the reason that NDs are so easily taken advantage of is not just that they miss things and are gullible but also that they are constantly being told by the world that whatever they feel is wrong. NTs will comment on or get offended the tiniest tone or facial expression change yet don’t hesitate to tell an ND person that the lights aren’t too bright, the food doesn’t taste weird, the clothes are scratchy, etc.

The ND person eventually learns to ignore all their own instincts and instead rely on the reactions of others (and if the NTs are the ones gaining from the situation, they aren’t going to signal something is wrong).

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