Long story short I learned today that I was molested as a toddler by my mother's bf at the time who tried to drown her. And everything makes sense now because I was an unhappy, self isolating child who always tried to be someone else, and this carried into adulthood. Only now it's worse because combine all that with adult neurosis.
I don't know if anything will ever fill this void, I had hope in religion but I'm so cynical I can't trust myself to be genuine with that, so suicide seems like a viable solution to my problems
i'm really sorry to hear that happened anon
nearly everyone who attempts suicide but survives regrets it so put those thoughts aside and please contact a therapist today and talk through what happened, even if you don't feel like doing that
I'm sorry to hear all that, please do't take your life ecause of a trash like your mom's bf.
If you feel that somethig will help you defeat these feelings the go for it, if you thik it's not helpig don't feel guilty if you want to stop practicing it.
I’m sorry, i can feel your pain. I too had my innocent stolen from me at a young age, began at age 3 and carried till I was 6 to be exact. These years are known for vital brain development so maybe it explains why we’re like this but I know it isn’t fair not one bit.
Life is tragedy
I'm hoping the best for you . sometimes you just have to wait out the pain, sometimes there is no good coping mechanism. but we are here for you :)
I had a very similar thing happen to me. Religion is a good place to go. That's what's helping me right now. Prayer is something to stress. Eventually it becomes genuine. I used to be a very Hitchean atheist, but prayer has made my life measurably better. You are very loved. What happened isn't your fault. You are not broken or worth any less. Nothing was taken from you. I'm still processing my own issues with this and sadly I can't offer advice any better than that. And, also, maybe watch The Legend of Korra, season 4, episode 5, or maybe four. It's about PTSD and no episode of any show has resonated with me so much– any arch really. I'm rewatching it constantly. You'll wanna hug Toph.