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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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No men no women? Anonymous 75405

I've always been an hopeless romantic girl, but my relationship with men were extremely fucked up and I was the one that cared the most. Ever since my radfem awakening (3 years ago), I can't stop noticing every single detail about men socialization & their low effort. My bi friends have healthy and normal relationships with other women – every detail about sex, living together etc. can't be the same with a man. My last relationship was with an autistic guy, he was very sweet, sex was great for the first time, but I dumped him (Aldo 1st time in my life) because I realized that I had to struggle the most to make this relationship work for me. He couldn't change his (male) behaviour and I wanted him to be himself. I'm bi, but I'm VERY awkward around girls… am I going to be a femcel forever?

Anonymous 75406

What was the behaviour that made you dump him?

Anonymous 75409

Yes, in general I've noticed men put way less effort into relationships than women do, even the normie ones who are supposedly egalitarian. Contrary to what incels shittalk, most women I know cook and clean and do most domestic tasks for their man. They also tend to be more giving in terms of affection and support and emotional availability than the guy is. It's astounding how literally all men have to do is wash a plate and give their wife a compliment and some non sexual affection occasionally, yet 95% of them fail this basic task.

Anonymous 75412

he was way too distracted than a "normal" man, and it wasn't even his fault, but it was getting on my nerves because I had to do everything (close the window, clean MORE since he did it poorly..). He couldn't organise a trip & didn't know how to make presents, even though I have many interests (still, neurodivergent stuff). I also realised that: long sex with men is usually bad because of the pain/you are forcing yourself for your partner pleasure (in the past, I forced myself); short sex with men is usually bad because you are limiting it to genital arousal (I had clit-centric sex until we broke up, but honestly, I can't imagine cuddling and not feeling pressure from a man). I heard stories from my friends who had lots of cuddles and stimulation with their girlfriends, and I want something like that…

Anonymous 75439

You are not going to stay femcel don't worry. You might be still in your early 20s you can't be older than 25. Getting a relationship is not hard, getting a quality one can be.

Start seeing moids with less rose tinted glasses when you are still in such a fairy tale mentality all relationships will hurt more and your standards will be dumb either too high or too rosy corny where you are gonna end up looking dumb. It's ok to have heart don't get me wrong but think about yourself more it's fine, this is how they are moids are more selfish so this is how we should be more selfish within reason as well.

Anonymous 75440

I'm almost 30 and I've never even touched a guy nor have had a single romantic experience irl, and I don't identify as femcel (I just relate to the movement), kek. Calling yourself that when you aren't really that much in the hole is silly, anon. It'll probably give you more of a complex.

Also what is the nature of awkwardness around girls?

Anonymous 75441

your awkwardness*

Anonymous 75442

You should start a relationship at least before hitting 40. You are fine by taking your time though there is always moids to pick up anyway. Where? Literally the internet including dating apps or language exchange platforms at your age you need to have a more edgy attitude I'd assume I'm not your age but im +25 so I'm already on the hunt myself I finally grew up from the dumb "princess in the tower" mentality, start making your net of possible relationships.

Anonymous 75443


don't really want to hijack the thread (OP seems like she's more deserving of feedback), but I am cool with where I am at tbh.
I've been talking to a pretty cool guy online for a few years and I'd actually feel lucky if it's the only remotely spicy thing that ever happens to me in my entire life. Comfy. Other than that I plan to stay a virgin till the day I die.

Anonymous 75444

Oh, also, I get the sneaking sense that I actually am mostly romantically attracted to women and I've been cut off from this because I'm so socially awkward.

Anonymous 75445

Bless your basedness.

Anonymous 75455

The hard part for me is that my first crush/love literally was ideal both in terms of personality and looks. So it's really hard to settle for less because he was so perfect inside and out.

Anonymous 75467

>I finally grew up from the dumb "princess in the tower" mentality
What do you mean by that? I want to know if I have that. Different anon btw

Anonymous 75468

My guess is its about the whole waiting for a prince charming thing.

Maybe she had an overprotective father or smth ? I find that girls who had a really nice father they look up to as what a good man is are more into the waiting of an ideal man

Anonymous 75474

Not op, but my dad was garbage on all levels and I have yet to fuck in my mid-twenties because I'm searching for the right person.
It may be the consequence of being a very reflective person or even just loving yourself, honestly. At this point I simply cannot settle for someone who doesn't fit with my personality and make me ravenously aroused. Prince charming is subjective though. Since I'm an awkward dweeb my ideal is my equal.
Being alone is okay until then. Date yourself or whatever.

Anonymous 75475

Best post in this thread.

Anonymous 75478

Wise words indeed

Anonymous 75514

is it possible that you could just use some female friends? the word "romantic" is thrown around with very ambiguous meaning and with the whole alphabet ideology push I feel lots of people get their sexual and platonic interests all mixed up for no benefit of anyone.

Anonymous 75516

I have female friends, including a best friend I've had for over 10 years.

Not sure if I ever have been sexually attracted to a guy.

Anonymous 75643

Just find a moid you can use for sex, you'll figure out afterwards

Anonymous 75684

For me the problem is the guy will lovebomb me and treat me really well for the first 6 months or so then when he knows he has me locked down inevitably starts taking me for granted and becomes kind of an asshole and less engaged/more distant. I really hate it.

Anonymous 75688

Fuck that’s so relatable. The only thing that made him less emotionally neglectful was him breaking up with me and realizing how much he took me for granted lol.

Anonymous 75698

I feel you. My exes always came crawling back after it ended.

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