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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Anonymous 76487

How do I know if a man sees me as an object?

Seperatists dni.

Anonymous 76488

See how he talks about women in general. If he uses incel/fuckboy vernacular, he probably sees you as an object.

Anonymous 76505

He sees you as an object because he's male. That's the sign.

Anonymous 76599

withhold sex and see how he reacts

Anonymous 76606

the way he treats you at the very beginning of the relationship (even though that can be built on the long term, it shows something)
if he constantly needs to remind you that youre a woman for some reason something's wrong
but id say thats pretty much every man. the difference will be on what he expects from you. men who try to gain respect from having a penis aren't men to trust. if he tries to manipulate you into sending nudes don't trust him. if he asks if you're a virgin from the very beginning, don't bother because men who think modesty is only about clothes and sex will expect you to be a virgin mary and a slut at the same time. don't trust him if he makes fake compliments, such as "women are dumb, not you tho" "i wish all women were as /something something/ as you". don't trust him if he tries to make you feel like you're a special person who is lucky enough to catch his interest. etc.
the only "you're special" comment that matters is "i love you".

Anonymous 76607

i forgot to mention you should ask him about his mother

Anonymous 76615

how so? what's the expected answer about this topic from a moid who only wants to use you?

Anonymous 76630

If his answer starts with anything other than "I love my mom," run.

Anonymous 76648

this could be a pretty good litmus test if you can figure out whether his reaction is the result of him viewing you as an object, or him just being plain horny. after all, just about everyone expects some level of sexual intimacy early on in relationships these days, so telling him you want to wait a while would probably be very unexpected to him. i think the best way to go about it is come-up with some excuse why you can't (i.e. headache) and then see how he reacts. if he respects your boundaries and doesn't try to force the issue, he's probably trustworthy, but if he tries to pressure you into it regardless, you should take that as a red flag.

Anonymous 76692

yeah and ask him to describe his mother then his father and watch the possible difference, like if he likes his mother bc she's a great cook and his father bc of his personality.

Anonymous 76701

Don't take "i love my mom" for a green flag either. Most misogynistic scrotes love their mom, actually the biggest misogynistic pieces of shit i've encountered were men who were madly in admiration of their mother.

The mother is the idealized madona, the rest of women are objects to manipulate and degrade. They feel righteous throughout all the abuse because at the end of the day they treat their mother like a queen, so they don't see anything wrong with themselves, they think they're great men and their dumb mother often conforts them in this twisted dynamic.

Anonymous 76826


If you are talking about a boyfriend.
1. Refuse sexual interaction for a while.
If he gets angry versus trying to talk to you and ask why your mood might have shifted, then it is obvious. But don't degrade yourself with sexual relations with men who are not married to you. Letting some crappy moid take advantage of your body and then leave is not something that is pleasant.

2. See how he behaves around other men.
To see how anyone really is means putting that person with one's own group. If he refers to women as "hoes" or "bitches" with his fellow male friends, if he enjoys horrible sexual related humor like saying "haha women are easier when they are drunk", then run the opposite direction.

3. See how he treats his mama or other female relatives.
Does he view them as property that needs to be controlled or does he recognize them as humans?

Anonymous 76827


Oh, I forgot, the first sentence should be:
Whether you are talking about a boyfriend or friend, then this guide should help.

Anonymous 77216

what if he was raised by a single mom?

Anonymous 77305

was waiting for this reply lol

Anonymous 77664

He will always see you as an object.
It depends on your character whether he sees more in you or not.

Anonymous 79437

probably a bad sign

Anonymous 79438

>he is male of course he sees you as object
stick to the pinkpilled thread if you're planning to post this bullshit

Anonymous 79446

how far are you in your friendship/relationship? that really matters lol

generally though, i think it in part depends on who he is.

fme, if he's a lonely loser and acting weirdly or poorly, then it's a 50/50 chance it's because he genuinely doesn't know how to act, or he's a lonely loser because he's repulsive. General way to find out is how he reacts when he fucks up, cuz if he wanna work on himself or make up for it, it's more likely the former.

Otherwise: >>76488 >>76606 >>76826

Anonymous 79481

How about you stick to r/relationshipadvice or the hundreds of thousands of places for that type of bullshit specifically instead of plaguing every female imageboard with your moid problems?

Anonymous 79747

>How do I know if a man sees me as an object?
he's a man

Anonymous 79748

Nona I tried your method but my lack of social skills makes this hard to judge so I'll just post the results.
>1. Refuse sexual interaction for a while.
I did this and he immediately asked me if something was bothering me, if I was on my period or if he did something wrong. I explained I just wasn't in the mood but he refused to drop the subject and ranted about how it's important to talk things out if the other person did something wrong. I reassured him I wasn't angry and he seemed to calm down for a while but when we went to see a movie he kept saying stuff like "you know you can trust me, right?" and it got me thinking if he's trying to manipulate me.
>2. See how he behaves around other men.
I had the opportunity of hearing him and his friends play board games a while ago. Other than him gushing over the female miniatures he paints, he didn't talk about women. One of his friends did say something that pissed me off, something like "I don't care if they're fat or ugly, I fuck as a community service" but the other guys barely acknowledged the comment.
>3. See how he treats his mama or other female relatives.
He has an incredibly close relationship with his mom. To the point they seem to trust each other more than anyone in the world, which worries me a bit. He's also very defensive about his two cousins and best friend, who he says he sees as his sisters, and protective/spoiler of his nieces. I think he's clear on this one but I fear he may be a momma's boy.

Anonymous 79749

>play mind games and and shit test your moid to compensate for being autistic and not being able to read someone you see every day
Based sigma female mindset.

Anonymous 79750

sorry i'm not as hopefully depressed about my relationship prospects as you
get real

Anonymous 79753


>i find these posts boring as shit that means i must be depressed about my “relationship prospects”
The way your mind immediately went to dismissing my reply this way is why we will never prosper as a gender lol i’m a young average woman in her early 20s, you think i have trouble getting men? These posts are so damn repetitive you can just google and look for the answers since its the same damn situation every time.

Anonymous 79764

Obviously only you can make these judgements but the way you describe things it sounds like you're inventing reasons to decide he's bad.
Like, you suddenly change your behaviour and he shows concern for you but after a while becomes suspicious that you're hiding something (which you really are) and that's somehow a sign he's manipulating you? I don't see what he's supposed to do. Should he have just not said anything and ignored your obvious change in behaviour and deception? The problem with looking for manipulative assholes is that by there very nature manipulators will feign kindness so you can interpret any act of kindness as manipulation, but it never really goes beyond the adult version of "'I'm not crazy' is exactly what a crazy person would say."
Decide based off his general behavior if you trust him or not and if you don't trust him, then leave. But scrutinizing every act of genuine concern in case it's secretly manipulation is just going to sour otherwise viable relationships.

Anonymous 79768

If you're not critically thinking about the relationships you engage in because you're too deep in denial to even realize he doesn't give 2 shits about you, you're the one who is going to bear the brunt of it. We're not depressed about our relationship prospects. We're just not living in some dumb fantasy world like you. And she's right, take this bullshit to reddit.

Anonymous 79769

my original post is disputing that "if a man exists, therefor he sees you as a sex object"
which got bitten back against
showing that she can't do as you've said, think critically

Anonymous 79782

>he refused to drop the subject and ranted about how it's important to talk things out if the other person did something wrong.
Well, you are withholding your feelings from him and he senses this. You are worried he sees you only as an object, but you don't trust him enough to talk about it directly. So that's the issue.
He might be trying to manipulate you, who knows, but notice that his fear isn't actually misplaced. Because you don't trust him.

Anonymous 79930

He was born with a penis.

Anonymous 81007

Speak to him, when objects speak to me I freak out.
If he freaks out you'll know.

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