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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Feeling fat Anonymous 76644

I feel very fat, even though I know I'm not fat. It doesn't matter what I wear, I look chubby. Especially so in pictures. I'm starting to think I'm actually fat and I have reverse BDD.

I don't know what the issue is, exactly. Am I not "dressing for my body"? Am I crazy? Is everyone coddling me, and telling me I'm thin, even though I'm fat?

I don't know my height/weight at the moment, but I suspect I look heavier than other women with my same body weight. I don't know how I look, or even how thin and fat people are supposed to look like.

It's all very distressing. I just want to hurl in my room, and never look at myself in the mirror ever again. How do you shake off this feeling?

Anonymous 76646

I envy you if the biggest concern in your life is worrying about your waistline.

Anonymous 76649

When I feel like this I usually pick (cute, not trashbaggy) clothes that don’t squeeze me in places I feel self conscious about, like the hips and belly, until I feel more confident in my body. If you’re worried about being overweight, you can just… weight yourself, but it sounds like it’s just your self perception, in which case i think it’s normal to see ourselves very differently.
Alternatively, find an older man or very old woman and ask them, in my experience they’re the ones who will tell you straight up if you’re chubby or not

Anonymous 76655

I didn't mean to sound whiny, I'm sorry
I weighed myself two or three months ago and IIRC I was around 41kgs/90lbs (I'm a womanlet.) I don't think weight is a good indicator of looks, I've seen heavier girls around my same height look thinner.
Either way, I'm too embarrassed to ask someone if I look fat. Whenever I show concern for my weight everyone tells me I'm crazy.

Anonymous 76656

I don't think my actual weight is relevant to this convo, I just want to stop caring and be happy !

Anonymous 76660

If you feel fat it’s probably because you have a lot of body fat. Go for more runs or cycle or something.

Anonymous 76662

sounds like you are skinnyfat and need to exercise to tighten up

Anonymous 76663

Why are you assuming I don't work out?
This is unrelated to my question. I asked how to feel better about myself and stop obsessing over my looks, not how to lose weight.

Anonymous 76685

but she is right anonette. you likely have or are on the brink of mental illness when it comes to overfocusing on your physical appearance, but being skinnyfat isnt something you fix with losing weight (you already sound very slim) but with gaining weight , by gaining muscle.
eath healthier and more, and go lift weights to tone up your body.
physical exercise helps with mental health too.

Anonymous 76688

I don't think going the "..but" helps that much as it seems like you're trying to feed into it. op needs some help on the cyclical thoughts more than anything.

Anonymous 76690

What exercise do you do?

Anonymous 76697

I don't understand what you're hoping.

If you feel fat and don't like it how are you going to change that feeling ? by forcing yourself to like it ?

if you have a healthy way maybe try that, thinking that its health that matters and look for clothes that enhance your nice body parts. i find that i look slimmer if i wear tight clothes around my waist but wider around thighs, because i have a slim waist and a bigger…bosom.

but best advice yet is to simply look actually better in your opinion. have the body you want.

so the question, again, is : is your body the body you want? if yes, work your aesthetics, if not, change your lifestyle.

Anonymous 76698

You clearly don’t work out enough if you’re skinnyfat kek.

Anonymous 76752

She never said shes skinny fat?

Anonymous 76768

The whole of my teenage years were spent exactly like this. Not knowing at all what I looked like, wanting to die because I was so disgusting and repulsive and fat, mirrors/photos sending me into depressive episodes, having binge-restrict cycles, etc. I was so sure I was the fattest kid in the grade, when in reality I had a completely normal BMI. Puberty is such a bitch for girls. For me I don't even think it was my environment or societal pressure or any of that - I suspect that it was mostly due to my family history of depression, schizophrenia and OCD (which are all connected to BDD). Because of all this I also had really bad social anxiety.

Look. It's a mental illness. Humans care about how they appear to others by nature, just with some of us this mechanism malfunctions. If you are a normal BMI, you're not fat, it's that simple. If you think you look fatter than your weight indicates, it's your head fucking you up. For me especially it was my face, because us asians have chubbier faces, and I was convinced I had facial deformity that was obvious to everyone else except me.

I can't even tell you exactly what fixed it. I guess as I got older the brain chemicals just kinda sorted themselves out. I'm heavier now than I was back then but I'm in a much better place. I just make sure I'm still relatively fit and healthy and that's all that really matters. Sometimes I look back on my old photos and it's insane how normal I looked back then compared to how I remember it.

Anonymous 76771

it likely doesnt help yes, but she also seems to have misconception on how to go about fat while one is already at low bmi, so i explained that as an already low bmi person, further weight less is definitely not an option to tone up

Anonymous 76829

>I don't know my height/weight at the moment
this is dubious. if you were genuinely concerned about what's real regarding your body you'd do the most obvious thing, take measurements.

> I don't know how I look, or even how thin and fat people are supposed to look like.

then how did you get the suspicion that you could be "chubby"? again, it doesn't add up.

just measure your height and weight and paste the results into a BMI calculator online. if the result says normal or skinny the next likely explanation is that you have bad posture which makes it look like you have a gut. posture can be improved but it takes a long time.

Anonymous 76855

The whole post reeks of anachan who wants to be told how tiny and dainty she is.

Anonymous 76861


Has no one noticed she mentioned being 90lbs? Unless she is an actual dwarf there is no way she can be fat. Must be poor luck with proportions if this is not a BDD issue (e.g. I have a big tummy but a bmi of 18.5).

OP, perhaps you can ask for a rating of your proportions on a looksmaxxing forum? They tend to be objective and not overly body positive, and can probably offer some advice on potential weight gain or exercise.

OP 76987

Of course I'm an ana chan, I have BDD. I just made this post to ask for advice regarding dealing with BDD and I worded it weird because I felt distressed.
I'm 5'1.
I walk 15k steps a day and I skate sometimes.
I've been trying to add proteins to my diet. My legs and stomach are toned but barely.
It's just my thighs that hold a lot of fat.

Anonymous 76993


If it helps any, just know that everyone is into someone, that you don't have to look "right" or "normal" to be beautiful to that someone. Even if you feel weird, even if you feel like nobody has the heart to tell you what you "really look like", someone sees you and sees something truly amazing. This isn't a cope, this is the truth, something you might know if you've ever seen someone you liked who didn't look "perfect", but was perfect. At least that's what I know.

OP 77014

It's not about others it's about me. I don't care how people see me because I barely talk to anyone/leave my house.

Anonymous 77053

You're my height and weigh a bit less than me, everyone calls me skinny. So, there's no way you're actually fat. You might've heard this a thousand times but consider therapy, posting on an imageboard with moids lurking isn't a good idea.

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