Hello! I'm an autist so I thought I'd give some input.>lack of theory of the mind
To my knowledge this is more of an assumption related to low-functioning autistics who can't interface socially. I've heard it theorized that high-functioning autistic people are brute-forcing a theory of the mind 'system' which is what allows socialization, but I'm p sure that's speculative.
The way I'd personally describe autism is that we occupy a different modality of thought than what's being expected of us. Like if the common mode is monkey-mind I might be a cow-mind or wolf-mind. Some social animal but not the one you're expecting to interact with. The way we interpret social/sensory stimuli is different and so the lingua franca of human experience doesn't totally mesh, which can cause a breakdown in top-level communication.
>"Autistic people cannot recognize a lie", "Autistic people do not understand irony or sarcasm"
Personally I can recognize malicious duplicity with stupid ease, to the point that it weirds people out (people's breathing and posture get funny when they're lying… also their smell. I don't make a habit of sniffing people but I guess they get sweaty or something?). Sarcasm and jokes, however, I can never pick out from tone alone. I sorta get it from context clues. Not sure where irony comes from since that's more of a literary thing.
>He did always try to claim that it was all "his" stuff
Out of everything in this post, this is most characteristic of a ritual. Some things get set in your mind and they have to be done that way or it's not comfy. E.g. if anybody so much as nudges my silverware whether dirty/clean I'm just going to entirely replace it because it wouldn't feel right even having it in my house.
>he said he needed it because he is autistic and that it is was part of his routine
Well, everyone's different so I don't want to talk in absolutes. But I've literally not once heard of a ritual that was predicated specifically on socialization. Autism is usually a lot of the opposite. This sounds more like he's just a lonely nerd that wants attention.
>He knew my sleeping pattern. He would text me exactly around when I would wake up.
Ok that's creepy. The second part, I accidentally learn everybody's routines too but I don't go out of my way to bother them as soon as they wake up.
>he kept saying he was autistic and that he did not understand
Yeah no. High functioning autistics will understand the concept of guilt and manipulation tactics just fine, doubly so if you explain your emotional state in plain speech. Autism could make it near impossible to read emotion & social context, but you can still recognize emotion in yourself just fine. Also if you genuinely were disrupting a ritual or something, he would not be sad. He would be some varying degree of angry. Breaking rituals doesn't feel like an anxiety attack (I've had those too, before), it feels like being emotionally violated. Like the feeling you'd get if somebody broke into your bedroom or read your mind. It can vary in intensity & you can learn to manage it but it's more of irrational anger/harrowing type of feeling than anything approaching sadness or self-pity.
>He even has a female voice actress for him so that he can fool more people.
>can autistic moids manipulate?>can autistic people manipulate?>can autistic women be manipulative too?
Yep. Yes on all counts. Super easy too. Just because you can't necessarily read people doesn't mean you're bad at strategy. Personally I find it kind of necessary in a professional sense because if I don't manipulate people into liking me I'd never progress in my career. Being liked is unfortunately the only way to get ahead and being autistic often makes one generally unlikeable. Pretty scummy to do it to your friends though.
>is he manipulative because he is a moid?
He's probably manipulative because he's maladjusted and never learned healthy social patterns. Possibly because nobody wanted to be his friend growing up. Too late for that now, though. That's the sort of thing you gotta work out in therapy.
>is his toxicity simply toxic masculinity?
Nah, I mean if you ask the dumbasses on twitter anything a man does that's toxic is toxic masculinity. In reality toxic masculinity is more founded on an overreliance on ego and combative social patterns to actualize self-worth, which is pretty precarious. This is sorta the exact opposite: using insecurity and open vulnerability to manipulate and force social security. It's practically the least masculine thing one could do, and it's the sort of thing you see a lot in male children with absentee father figures. Kid needs therapy.
>is he even autistic to begin with?!
Yeah probably not. I tend to take people at face value on that, but this sounds a lot more like an awkward lonely guy ~maybe~ somewhere on the spectrum realizing he can leverage his mental problems to his advantage. It's depressingly common nowadays & I put up a strong guard against anybody who wears their trauma / illness on their sleeve now.
Ok but no really>he has been pretending to be female to get closer to women
This is somewhat common due to how fetishized women are online / media. Especially with incel-type guys getting the attention associated is going to be appealing. It's pretty gross but not immediately alarming to me, right?>He even has a female voice actress for him so that he can fool more people
That. That is alarming. That's not just passive manipulation that's borderline predatory. Like the difference between not bothering to return something you forgot to check-out and hiding stuff under your clothes. They're both stealing but one requires concerted effort. It's weird, please out him for that at least.