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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 79593

Anyone else feeling hopeless about dying alone?

I'm a 27 year old woman who has had zero dating success. I've been on maybe 4-5 dates in my life and none ended up with a second date. Of those guys, 3 lied about their age and made themselves out to be younger than they were. I recently went on a date after years and it was the first time in my life that a man had called me beautiful. He later texted to me to ask for a second date and I was ecstatic to get a second date for the first time ever. Today, I decided to look him up and it turns out, he's 10 years older than what he told me (among a handful of other lies he said).

I'm feeling so hopeless and dejected. Any ladies come to terms with always being alone? All my friends and partnered up at this point and moving on with their lives while I'm stuck in the same place as always. I want to give up.

Anonymous 79594

>>79593
If you always have the same problem (guys lying about their age), you should think more specifically about it (why are guys lying to you about this?)
Also, you should not compare yourself with your friends too much; your life is your own after all
Best of luck

Anonymous 79595

>>79594
I would not blame OP for this one. I remember reading a study that more than 50% of men on dating apps lie about their age (to circumvent filters so they can date younger women). When I was on the apps, it was the same shit. Women are not at fault for men's dishonesty and degeneracy.

Anonymous 79596

>>79594
> (why are guys lying to you about this?)
implying that moids need a reason to lie? and isn't it fucking obvious? they want to date the 18-23 year olds that dont want their old asses. so they lie. also, why do I get the feeling this was written by a braindead moid?

Anonymous 79598

>>79595
>>79596
Of course it's the guys fault (it always is), but I find it weird that OP mentionned it several times among all the possible problems in a date

Anonymous 79599

i will defend this (hopefully) nona and say that she more than likely isnt blaming OP, but suggesting what she can do to prevent these scrotes from lying to her, or better yet attracting these subpar males in her life. its a protection advice, not a deflecting of responsability. >>79594

Anonymous 79600

>>79598
>>79599
the larping moids and loser pickmes ruin this place

Anonymous 79601

>>79593
I'm assuming you met these men online? OLD is a cesspit and I swore to myself I would never try it again. The men are bottom of the barrel and they lie about everything, not just age or height. I'm sorry you feel down OP. These men are not worth it.

Anonymous 79603

>>79593
early 20s and i feel the same way and fear continuing to feel like this when im older… i feel like i should just tell both you and myself to keep trying and keep going on failed dates until one of them is good. but realistically, i know how hard that is. my depressed ass can barely muster up energy to reply to one or two tinder matches a day and most of them are not even attractive or interesting enough to make you wanna put in the effort. but i suppose all we can do is keep trying or make peace with being alone forever

Anonymous 79604

>>79603
Thank you. This comment makes me feel better and not as alone. I feel the exact same way. Responding to men on these apps is a struggle and I don't even like them. Every failed date seems to worsen my depression and make me feel even more unlovable. Especially getting my hopes up with the last one when I finally thought I was capable of someone liking me.

Hopefully we'll catch our break soon. Or in the very least, forge our own path where we are happy being alone.

Anonymous 79605

I'm sorry you feel that way anon. Honestly dating can be a numbers game and that makes it kind of a painful process because often you end up going on a bunch of shitty/mediocre dates before you get a decent one. However, if the idea of being alone really upsets you I don't think you should give up just because your past few dates have been unsuccessful. Your first date in years ended up being a dud, but honestly most dates are! I think the key is to keep trying because if you give up now then you'll essentially have to start over again years down the line if you decide to date again. I think the thing about dating is that it is a process-oriented experience rather than an outcome-oriented one. Even if it doesn't work out, just focus on having a good time and getting more comfortable with yourself. If the guys end up being gross and lie about their ages, drop them and move on.

Also I'm not implying that your lack of success is your fault at all, but it might be worth thinking about how you can change your approach. At least for me, whenever I get stuck in an unsuccessful cycle, I always wonder what I can change to try to shake things up. Personally, I've reached the conclusion that I am much happier on my own, but that is different than "coming to terms with always being alone." I hope that you can at least give it a few more tries before throwing in the towel because I think there's always something to learn (even from crappy, unsuccessful dates), but I know that's easier said than done.

Anonymous 79614

>>79604
i know… people act like its nothing, but not feeling desired and feeling behind in social aspects in life can have a great effect on you and your self esteem and mood end up taking a toll. im not expecting a boyfriend to magically cure my depression or fix my life but loneliness can be so painful and youre kinda stuck in a circle where youre down all the time and you wanna meet new people but cant bring yourself to because youre feeling down. i think the most important time for you to feel more motivated to go through with them is to be attracted to them. at least a little bit. even though in my head im like "im so desperate!! when i actually go on tinder i gotta remind myself to have standards. maybe not super high ones if theres only ugly men near you but at least someone you'd make out with. dont waste time on dates with men that are so ugly you wouldnt do anything with. and dont feel bad about failed dates. theyre frustrating but think of them as practice, you didnt waste time, you went out and socialized and even if it didnt turn out you should still be proud of yourself.
And thank you, i hope you can catch a break soon too ^^

Anonymous 79622

you're too good for them op. i don't mean this as an empty platitude but that most men on dating sites/apps are trash so stop feeling hopeless and instead realize that they are not worthy of you

now, delete all online dating stuff. go to singles events and join some non-dating related clubs. be ruthless. talk to as many men as possible and be prepared to cast them aside if they do not live up to what you want. you should expect to go through at least 50-100 men this way

get out of the mentality that you are the issue and that you will never find someone. you are a queen and you will find someone good but you have to go through a lot of trash first

Anonymous 79630

>>79625
please ignore this user op, they sound like a moid

Anonymous 79644

>>79625
why is it so hard for men to stay out of women's spaces? holy shit, I swear all of you WANT to be women.



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