(Teen) pregnancy Anonymous 83995
I'm 19 years old and my BF is 20. I'm a NEET and he's in college (considering dropping out, however.) We haven't been dating long, and we always use a condom, but I still got pregnant. I told my parents and they were okay with it and asked me what I wanted to do. I said I wanted to get an abortion (which is legal here), but I'm not so sure now.
I talked about it with him, and he assumed I'd get an abortion, but I said I wasn't sure, and he seemed calm, and told me we could go to the doctor together and see our options. I don't want to get an abortion, but I'm not ready to have a child. We both live with our parents and use their income to support our expenses. Neither of us ever had a job. We both have severe mental health issues, a suicide attempt, and psych ward inpatient history.
Does anyone have any advice on how to make up my mind? I know the logical thing would be to get an abortion since we have both recently attempted suicide and self-harmed, but it isn't as easy as some would make it sound. It's very scary to me, even more so than pregnancy. He has BPD. I have Asperger's.
This isn't bait. And please, avoid rudeness. I feel bad enough. Picrel from Google.
Get an abortion. I don’t know what your support system looks like, but I would talk to them about this.
My support system is my family, friends, bf, therapist, and psychiatrist.
I don't want an abortion, it sounds too traumatic. I'm very scared. How can I get over the fear?
I see my therapist in two days. I will ask her, then, what should I do, but I need answers now.
Are you scared more because of the surgical procedure, like being scared of the dentist, or more because of the ethical and spiritual issues with ending the "life" of a "human being"?
In one hand, it's a scary procedure and I hate hospitals. I have never had any surgery.
In the other, a fetus is factually alive. The argument isn't whether it is or isn't alive or a person. To me, it is both. That doesn't mean a fetus should have rights over another person's body, so I'm pro choice. I'd just feel really sad killing someone who's half me, half him. I think that's quite depressing.
I am generally pro-life and pro-adoption, but unless you are fortunate enough to find a couple enthusiastic to adopt, I would not judge you if you aborted. I’m married and we have one income, no health problems and geez… I still don’t consider us ready. Kids deserve to be wanted at least. Your feelings about him/her being a part of you are normal and correct, however. If I were in your position I would do everything I could to find an adoptive family, as aborting may make your mental health worse, but again don’t feel bad if aborting is the wisest outcome for everyone involved.
Also, I would stop having sex if you can manage. May be controversial but your health is at stake here, and another scare and another big decision doesn’t sound like it would be good for you or your relationship.
I've never had an abortion (or sex), but I think this short story by Alice Walker, who has had two abortions, will give you some perspective:https://archive.org/details/youcantkeepgoodw00walk_0/page/64/mode/2up
I believe in saving oneself for marriage, and I agree with >>84000
that not having sex anymore would be good.
Yes, I think you're correct. I will go on the pill after this. I don't think I can raise my kid, but I don't want to kill it either. I think I will try to find a family to adopt or work around. I think we will decide after seeing a doctor together. >>84002
I will watch it and report back.
what did she mean by this lol
An abortion or adoption is really probably for the best, even outside of everything you feel, think about what the child will need to deal with and grow up with as a result of your own behaviors if they stay with you.
The ordeal or childbirth is much scarier to me than the procedure imo
same, dying during childbirth or having something awful happen like all my teeth falling out from pregnancy seems way worse than the procedure
it's also possible to develop diabetes from pregnancy and I've known a woman who had that happen and she's had to be hospitalized many times from not caring for her diabetes properly
OP you should really do your research on all the negative effects pregnancy and childbirth can have on the body before deciding, sorry not trying to scare you but it's within the realm of possibility those are things you might deal with
Sounds like a plan. Just be sure you can consistently remember to take your pill (ie don’t have sex if you forget it), and have a backup plan if you find the potential side effects of BC to be too annoying to keep taking it.
please get a abortion.
dont ruin your life for this fucking guy.
My daughter is the best part of me but last part of me too. If you aren't ready to sacrifice yourself for another person, if you aren't prepared to end all other ambitions in your life, I would have the abortion.
Killing a fetus is one thing, not being able to unconditionally love and accept another human being selflessly is another.
Get an abortion. Going through pregnancy and childbirth, and above all sacrificing the REST of your life for a child that you don't want, that you're not prepared for, and whom you will INEVITABLY regret (the worst feeling you can give to a child) all because you think abortion is icky and sad? Don't be fucking retarded nona please I am on my hands and knees here sister..
If you look for an adoptive family, chances are you will regret it and either keep the child, ruining your life and future, or give them the child and regret it for the rest of your life.
Honestly abortion is just the best option. Sure it sucks but it's better than 60 years of regret.
My english isn't that good. I meant I'd look at it.>>84005
We can't raise a child. Adoption sounds better.>>84006>>84009
Yes, I'm aware of this, and I still think an abortion is worse. I don't think I could keep living my life after having an abortion. It is no good for my mental health.
Different people will have different fears.>>84014
My mom graduated college and has worked even while she was pregnant with me. I think I can do both. I'm a NEET only because I dropped out of college due to personal issues, but I don't want to be one forever.
I think I already have a connection with the child. Like, I think of it as my baby, not just random cells. It isn't random. I'm only six weeks pregnant. The idea of devoting my life to a child, to live for someone else, is actually quite comforting.>>84019
Thanks for your kindness. I don't know what to say.>>84020
But I will also regret killing my child, and running the possibility of creating life.
I feel good knowing I have life inside me. I feel powerful, like a God. It's actually really nice for someone who wanted to die all of her life to be able to create life.
Anon, we are heading into financial recession, there is no way two of you will be able to support a child financially. Financially speaking, you are in a completely different position, which is not comparable to that of your mother.
Also, you can always get pregnant later once you are better prepared.
If you don't want to get an abortion, don't get one. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. It is a big decision, one you will remember for your whole life, so don't do something you don't want to please other people (who may just be peddling political agendas of their own). The same thing if you do decide to have an abortion. It is your pregnancy, not anyone else's.
You said you are both struggling with mental health problems. Many people have children in those circumstances and later realize they made a mistake. For others, it saves them because it gives them a purpose and an opportunity to center their energies on something tangible. No one can know how it will go for you.
In this time, it is a good idea to go to the doctor and discuss your options and see how long you have to make a decision. Consider your support network and what changes you'd need to make in your life plans to support a child. Keep in mind that your partner has an easy way out, and you may find yourself not able to count on him in the future. Either way, he is not the one who is pregnant. You have to do what you
Much luck anon. You'll be fine.
But my family does have the money.
All the options (adoption, abortion, raising it) are bad. They all make me feel like shit. I just need to find the one that's the least harmful to me long-term. I can't possibly know that.
Yes, we will go to a doctor and see. I think I'm 5-6 weeks pregnant.
Uh, he wants to be responsible about it and at least pay child support. It's the law, and I'd just sue him if he disagreed.
That is good, but paying child support is nothing compared with what you'd be signing up for if you choose to have the child.
Well, obviously he'd have to take care of the kid, too. I just don't think either of us can raise a child because we are very mentally ill. I stopped taking my anti psychotics when I found out I'm pregnant. Now I can't sleep, but I don't want to harm the baby.
Well, maybe they do. But there is no guarantee that they will actually share that money with you.
They're my family. Of course they will. They love me the most.
i'd recommend putting it up for adoption.
It's easier to live with the regret of an abortion, since the child doesn't exist. With adoption you will constantly be thinking about it since you know it's real, what it looks like, what its name is, etc. and it might try to contact you one day.
If you are this mentally ill do you really think you can go through pregnancy and then just give it away? Sounds like you will just keep it and raise yet another mentally ill child in a broken household with a mentally ill mother and absent father.
It's also not fair to expect your parents to give you money to support it lol. I mean they probably will but that's very entitled of you.
It's not entitlement, it's a cultural custom.
And you're being unnecessarily cruel to me.
Please deal with your mental health issues before having a child.
The idea may be comforting now because it's new, fresh, and shiny. But once that wears off it will be the reality of having to care for this other human being forever no matter what they do. And not just them, but protecting them from the rest of this sick world. Pedophiles, bullies, even their future friends and themself. You need to be ON TASK 24/7 to make sure you balance protecting them with teaching them personal freedom and being kind and gentle while also not being too lenient. This is a challenge even for the mentally healthy. You NEED to have your own emotions under almost complete control to do this, lest you lash out at them or destroy their sense of security (important to a kid).
It is up to you, but I was also mentally unwell at your age. And even NOW several years later with career prospects, I can't imagine managing this yet.
But I'm not doing it alone and I have support. I just don't want an abortion. I'd rather give the child up for adoption, maybe even still have contact with them or being present in some other way. I'd have to see.
You don't know what I think or how I feel. You'd be upset with that scenario, I'd wouldn't.
And what happens if no one wants to adopt your baby from two damaged teen parents with mental illnesses and history of suicide attempts? There is a decent chance this kid ends up in the foster system for their whole life.
Adopted children are also twice as likely to be mentally ill, depressed, and deal with attachment anxiety. You also don't necessarily get a choice in being part of this kid's life, and contacting them when you haven't been given permission is going to cause huge issues.
women have been terminating their pregnancies forever. before medical abortion women would use herbs or other methods, and it wasn't considered wrong to kill the baby before the "quickening".
its ultimately your body and your choice.
if you carry this pregnancy to term, your life will fundamentally change. you will go through your twenties caring for a child. it will become exponentially harder to improve your own life and your prospects. you will be stuck with your parents.
you dont know your bf well, as you state you havent been dating long. if you decide to keep the child, what stops him from leaving you when it gets too hard? you are not married, and he's young and mentally ill.
please, please make an informed decision op. please take care of yourself and do what is best for you.
can i ask why you dont want to have an abortion?
We haven't been DATING for long. I know him since childhood.
I already explained why I don't want an abortion. It would make me feel horrible to the point of committing suicide. I don't want to kill my child.
If you disagree I don't really care. It is still very traumatic to me.>>84046
Stop trying to force me to abort. I won't, I already decided.
Children are not a decision you can rush. Children should be wanted, planned, and prepared for. They're living breathing human beings, not plot devices to give your life meaning. Don't be an idiot.
Many women do regret having abortions. Just because women have always done it, it doesn't mean it's always the right choice. Women have always had babies too. It's bizarre how many of you are telling her to get an abortion when she said with all the letters that she doesn't want one.
>Considering have a baby at an age where many people would still consider you a child
>Is NEET about to date a drop-out
>Mentally ill in a relationship with another mentally ill person
Do you really think these factors are going to make you capable of being a good parent? Children don't rely on your self-gratification in order to be raised well. >>84029>We can't raise a child. Adoption sounds better.
It's really not. Not sure if you're US-based, but the foster care system is rife with abuse and neglect here. You will put the child in a system where they will likely get sexually abused, go homeless, and turn to drugs. They may end up being bounced from home to home because of parents that can't make up their mind or just want them for the money they bring in. Also when the child grows up, they will probably hate and blame you for putting them through this. You will have to live with this decision. >>84050
Not sure why you made this thread then if you refuse to re-consider.
I am literally just repeating what you said. You are mentally ill and the father doesn't want a child. If you cannot handle other people point out the truth from your own words, how do you expect to deal with pregnancy and giving away a child? Do you know how difficult and painful pregnancy and childbirth are? Can you imagine how painful it will be to abandon your baby?
And cultural custom or not, you don't know what the future holds. It's irresponsible to expect that your family will be 100% supportive because of a cultural custom.
Like 10% of people wake up during surgery and are in intense pain, but the anesthesiologist is judt there and puts them back to sleep right away and most of the time they don't remember.
Regretting having an abortion is much different than regretting having a child. Did you know that violent and poverty-related crime rates tanked after abortion was legalized? Regretting a child and raising them to live in the shadow of the fact that their parents don't want them is a horrible fucked up thing to do and screws them over for the rest of their life. You can still get pregnant after an abortion, when you're ready to have a child and build a family.
Abortion highly increases chances for a miscarriage during later pregnancies.
Are you retarded? Less poor people reproducing and poor parents having less kids definitely affects poverty related crimes.
That's patently false lol. Are you a scrote or just a retarded handmaiden?
terrible for your endocrine system, consider an iud instead
You’re making a commitment for the rest of your life, can you handle that? You’re bf and you will probably break up due to the fact you haven’t been together long and having a child together is gonna definitely affect your relationship in a negative way. So you’re gonna become a single mom by 21 and that’s gonna limit your chances in the dating pool which are already pretty limited if your here. Not too mention you don’t have the money to raise a child which is also gonna negativity affect that child.
This is coming from a child of a single poor mom. Think about you’re future child not yourself. It’s not a life yet but it certainly will have a bad one if you raise it.
there are over 30 waiting couples for every infant who is put up for adoption. if you feel to bad to abort your baby, but you aren't physically/financially able to care for them, adoption is the best option. some families will even send you pictures of your child or let you visit them every once in a while.
you could really be changing an infertile woman's life if you gave up your baby. I know it's a hard decision but please think about it
I would also look into safe haven laws in your state, if you're in the US. If you find that you can't take care of your baby less than 1 year old, you can take them to a hospital or fire station or other place and they will do all the paperwork and adoption things for you
There is many other factors that can play into reduced crime rates, so many factors, which you ignore and neglect to analyze, and you're deliberately making it seem like those reduced crime rates are solely due to abortion being legalized. Which is a giant leap and a very weak take. >>84070https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12777435/
Idc if she has an abortion or not. People can do whatever they want to their own bodies. I'm adding in different information because all it seems she's getting is a one sided argument for having an abortion when she doesn't really want an abortion anymore, which is also fine. Quit bossing her around. If she has rich parents to mooch off of, she's set.
Anons in this thread aren't "bossing her around". If she's so fragile that some women on a Mongolian basket-weaving forum are hurting her feelings or influencing her one way or another on the massively important issue of HAVING CHILDREN, then maybe just maybe she isn't mature enough to birth a literal human being. Also, don't you think you're ignoring and neglecting analysis of many other factors concerning abortion and miscarriage? Correlation != correlation.https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2225607/
Here's a 30-year-old study to match yours lol. Welcome to the world of academia. Whichever way she goes is not something any of us can realistically change. The fact is that having a baby as a mentally ill 19-year-old NEET is fucking stupid. End of.
funny how all these "pro-choicers" keep pressuring her to abort
I'm pro abortion. And like I said, if literal anons on cc can pressure her into having an abortion, then she was never stable enough to have children
Obviously there are other factors but it's simply retarded to claim less poor people has nothing to do with less poverty related crimes.>>84091
I am pro choice but if you ask for my opinion, I am always going to say abort.
You also can't "pressure" someone over an internet image board. If she disagrees all she has to do is close the website. There is no real pressure coming from us, we have no impact on her life and she has full control.
Honestly I don’t know what I’d do. Im a decade older than you and am still terrified of getting pregnant. No idea how I’d cope with being pregnant at 20.
pretty please put your baby up for adoption…. you wouldn’t believe how many women out there are looking for a baby. it would really change their lives.
also, look into crisis pregnancy centers and catholic churches. they will help financially and emotionally support you during/after your pregnancy, whether you keep your baby or put them up for adoption
I had my daughter at 17 and it was probably the worst decision I could have possibly made in my life. I love and cherish her, and while I wouldn't want to live without her, there is always a part of me that thinks about an alternate timeline where I aborted early and got to live a much fuller life. Any future you possibly imagined, any path you felt you might have followed dies in the case of you raising a child alone. It's harsh, but there it is.
Adoption might seem like a much kinder option, but I urge you to look at the stats for your country about the rates of abandonment to foster care and abuse in adoptive parents. They can be extremely horrific, and I would rather a child not be born than suffer so much and live a stunted, hard life from there on.
Hey OP I hope you got to talk to your therapist today and got some clarity about what you would like to do. I would like to help, as I also had my first child at your age. I chose to keep my baby, who is now heading into middle school.>>84029
Adoption is a good option, though that is rough too. My husband was adopted by his parents as a baby but his birth mother had a hard time consenting to the adoption again after he was born. It took two weeks before she was able to let him go to them. If you already feel connected to your baby it might be very difficult to let them go. In your case I feel that would be better than abortion. However, if you choose that option there may be objections from other relatives. Sometimes they even go so far as to demand your baby instead of letting them go to the family you have chosen for them.>>84041
Even though this person was extremely blunt they do have a point. I am also curious about what triggered your mental illness if you are okay with sharing that. In my case it was my home environment, yet those same people were very happy to help me with my baby when I became pregnant at your age. They looked at it as a sure way to keep me in line. Because my illness was caused by my home environment I am worried that may be the case for you as well. Even I believed that my parent loved me, despite the abuse.
Additionally I also struggled with mental illness as a parent. At the time I became pregnant I was actually planning on killing myself. Just like you the feeling of being able to create life gave me the strength to stay alive. In my case I got therapy, and left my abusive ex and family. If you choose to have your baby you better resolve that shit as fast as you can because I will tell you, from experience, that it is impossible to be the kind of parent a child deserves when you are struggling with mental illness. Certainly you can be adequate, even be considered good by most standards, but your illness will affect their development. This is something you need to consider also.>>84127
You need to consider what this anon is saying too. You have to be fully prepared to do this alone. The chances of that working out are very slim. It didn't work out between myself and my child's sperm donor either. My being pregnant made him even more insane and he started beating me. I had to leave the country to get away from him so I could give birth in peace. I do not want you to experience this, and you are at risk for that with what you've said about your boyfriend.
Quite frankly the only reason I don't regret my decision is that I got extremely lucky with my husband. I would be 100% screwed and I wouldn't have been able to care for my child properly. The odds of meeting a man who actually wants to take care of a child that is not biologically theirs is nearly impossible.
OP Please consider all the information in this thread, even that which makes you uncomfortable. Something being phrased unkindly doesn't mean it isn't true. Being a good parent means a lot of discomfort, sacrifice and internal work on your mental illness. I can't stress enough how important it is to work that out before you have a child.
This. Regretting an abortion affects you. Regretting a pregnancy ruins someone else's life.
Yes this is better. It's like when you put down animals with horrible birth defects.
Yes, painlessly killing a group of cells which has no central nervous system. It is literally the equivalent of cosmetic surgery to maintain your quality of life. If this is a question of the soul and life at conception, consider that the female body terminates pregnancies quite often, for a variety of natural causes, and it was once a case of 20% of all births ending in miscarriage long after the CNS had developed sufficiently. That alone tells me that any creator which might exist doesn't care about the unborn. If they did, they would've designed a better system for creating them.
don't care what god intended. they don't deserve to be killed
Lmao. Nobody deserves shit, but shit happens. That's how the world works.
Abortion. It sounds like your child could inherit your mental illnesses and you are likely to inflict trauma on them. Sorry to be harsh but I had a mother like this.
Honey do not abort the child, honestly. It’s not worth it, btw by your words I can fell you’ll be a good mother
Hope will be a little girl! <3
>>84220>unique human DNA>unique body>alive
“muh clump of cells”
girl, never realized that everything is a clump of cells? Ugh
She isn't being a mother either way. She's planning on putting a kid up for adoption that will stay in the system instead.
Most of girls that plan to put the baby up for adoption decided to raise the child themselves anyway!
Most women do not change their minds, so you're wrong about that.
Also, if she decides to keep the child, it will be with her and her mentally ill boyfriend, living in their parents' basements, with no jobs and no future. The child will almost be guaranteed to either inherit a mental illness or get one from growing up in that circumstance. What a fucking bleak existence.
Usually babies are a will to do better and there are still both of the couple parents, better than killing a child tbh
Please let this be a product of the American education system.
Every human is a group of cells
Are you stupid? Do you not believe that fetuses own a body and a human dna? Do you even know the basics of making a life? Lmao
>>84366>Usually babies are a will to do better
That's hilarious. Accidental teen pregnancies are not a "will to do better" for anyone.
Also OP has already stated she doesn't want to raise this child. She WANTS to give it up. Her raising this child would be in a home where it isn't wanted, with people who are not mentally stable enough to take care of themselves, let alone an infant.
>and there are still both of the couple parents
No idea what you're even attempting to say here.
>better than killing a child tbh
A fetus isn't a child.
>>84373>A fetus isn't a child.
It is a human being. Learn basic biology
Okay, so you have a 2 litre jug of fertilized eggs. We'll say there are one million of them. Every single one would be viable if put into a woman.
You also have a one day old baby.
You can only save the bucket of fertilized eggs or baby.
Try to tell me that you'd actually pick the eggs. You wouldn't. No one would. Because we recognize that even though a fetus is alive, it is less important than an actual, living baby. We recognize that fetuses have less value than fully-formed human lives. We all know that they are less than human, even if you want to keep them alive.
So when someone wants to choose to abort, they aren't killing a child. We all know that, even if you don't wanna say it. And since we recognize that a fetus is lesser than a human, it means that a woman removing one from her body, her fully formed, grown body, is not the same as murder, and we all know that, too.
According to science, human life begins at conception, so killing a human being at any stage of life - fetus, newborn, adult or any other - is murder, and no amount of mental gymnastics will change that.
So you'd save the jar of fertilized eggs? I doubt it.
NTA, just that even with condoms the pregnancy chance is 20% per year. Do NOT believe people when they say its 98% effective, that statistic is a theoretical value under perfect lab conditions, not the empirical statistic.
If you want more vulnerable unwanted children in the care home system then you are a moid and probably a pedophile too, since pedos are the only ones who benefit from abortion bans.
Never understood why people say give it up for adoption. There’s literally no point permanently ruining your body and filling it with shit tons of pregnancy hormones that have long term effects on you, just to put the kid in an orphanage and probably have it molested by moid social workers and care home employees.
If your definition of human life is unique DNA guiding the division of human cells, even completely lacking one single neural stem cell, then I have some terrible news about your local hospital's oncology department. They cut out, poison and irradiate vulnerable, developing human lives every single day and get away with it scot-free, massively outpacing any abortion clinics.
People have no idea how tons of abandoned kids hurt your society. These and other abused kids born to unfit parents are the ones who commit crimes, who rape women, who abuse kids, who do drugs, who then in turn become unfit parents etc. People are not born bad, but they are made bad. And this mostly happens during your childhood.
The best you can do for your society is to not have them.
You would know better what to do if you better understood what is inside of you as it actually is at whatever stage you are at. >>84385
This is completely false. In science there is no universal definition of life. It differs by species and stage that species is in. A foetus is not alive in the same way a full grown adult is alive and each stage of development is a different criteria of life. For example if a full grown adult lacks consistent brainwaves they are dead but that's a state of criteria that also exists in foetal development up to a certain point so by that a feotus is dead but because it still is in development only that is why it is considered alive but it's really more comparable a state beween life and death like a vegetative state it could be compared to only unlike a person in a vegetative state or otherwise at least a coma they lack personhood and a will. Saying a foetus is alive like an adult human is like saying a plant is alive same way as an adult human and we know that isn't the case because plants lack a central nervous system and do not respirate co2 as do humans.
We have a scientific consensus on this issue:>95% of all biologists affirmed the biological view that a human's life begins at fertilizationhttps://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3211703
A place for anyone who argues that a fetus is not a human being and killing it is not murder is among other anti-scientific lunatics, like flat-earthers or global warming deniers
If you want people to believe you, you should probably remove the link and just state your claim without the article, because you're more likely to convince retards with confidence, than regular people who can very easily see from a cursory glance that you're trying to equate base biological processes and cell division with some kind of divine spark of life.
Having a life and a soul are two different things imo. Even major religions like Islam and Hinduism don’t believe a fetus gains a soul until it’s like 7 months old. Not sure why Christians take such a strong objection to abortion either. In the Old Testament a man pushes over a woman and causes her to miscarry. There’s no mention of him being a murderer, no mention of him going to hell. It’s said he was simply commanded to pay her and her husband a small sum of financial compensation.
I agree, I would rather abort my fetus than allow it to go into the care home system and potentially be abused, molested and raped by disgusting pedo moids in these sectors. The only people that benefit from more unwanted kids is child rapists. Each day I see and hear countless people talking about how they wish they had never been born, how their parents had them against their will, how unfair it is that people are born without consent etc. There are so many people who wish they hadn’t been thrown into consciousness. The assumption that every fetus would want to be born is a mistake in itself.
I love when some clickbait news article makes a claim like "95% of all scientists!". Like lmao do you actually think they interviewed every single biologist on earth to ask their opinion on it? The article says 5212 biologists only, out of over 112,000 biologists in the US. Wow, such a consensus.
Anyway I actually agree with that definition but the point is it's irrelevant. Killing it does no harm and you're not going to say its life is of equal value to a born human.
Please read this post. It directly adresses same thing and was just above your post >>84564
NTA, I agree with your conclusion but not the reasoning because this scenario is just as unhelpful as any other of those “lifeboat ethics” problems out there. I find them to be sloppy philosophy since no one makes decisions like this basically ever. There are always circumstantial factors.
t. philosophy student
>>84373>That's hilarious. Accidental teen pregnancies are not a "will to do better" for anyone.
I have to disagree, only because of my own experience and because I've seen others change for the positive for the sake of their kid at that age. However I still don't think OP should have this baby, because of my experience and seeing the other side, which is growing up with two mentally ill parents.
As for your confusion about>and there are still both of the couple parents
I think that person meant that the grandparents could also raise the baby. The same grandparents who raised two severely mentally ill people who got teen pregnant. Fucking terrible idea by the way whoever suggested that. That would be EVEN WORSE than OP keeping and raising the baby herself.>>84385
Agreed. I think it's important to recognise that, but also to recognise that sometimes that is the best option for the unborn person and their parents. Like right now. Yes it's murder, and in this case, murder is better than the alternative. OP might be able to find parents for the baby through an agency, they do profit handsomely off of the pain and struggle of mothers by providing children to people who want to buy them. However I don't think that is ideal either. These are people who are willing to buy a baby from a catalog instead of trying to rescue a child from the foster system. What kind of mental health do they have? (Hint, it's bad).
Logic trap posting, not interested
It's not, but nice to know you can't refute it.
You're a clown. From her own story, her boyfriend is attentive and supportive, as are her parents. Stop trying to drag her down with you.
I'm sorry anon, but based on what you said you're really unfit to be a mother (at least for now) and it would be unfair to the child to be born in such circumstances imo. You have history of mental health issues and since you're so young it'a likely they will continue and you might get post partum depression as well. Having a child at this stage would be too draining and damaging for both your mental health and the child's development.
praying this will never happen to me lol
I don't know what to say
But whatever choice you decide is the right one, don't let others pressure you into making a decision
From her own story her boyfriend is mentally ill and unstable and her parents raised a person with severe mental issues. This is not a healthy environment for a child. You are the one projecting fantasies that every parent is good and loving, and that everything will be fine for OP if she just has the baby. Frankly it's not going to be fine for OP no matter what decision she makes.
Cousin of mine is 29 and she has 3 kids (last time I checked which was five years ago could be more by now), each with different indebted drug addicted criminal convict that left her for another girl two years into their relationship. Her first son was born when she was 16.
Rest of the same generation my extended family are evolutionary dead ends. If my brother marries his gf (big if) maybe they will have one kid but both are past 30 and quite set in their childfree ways. Thus my low IQ cousin who droped out vocational school and never had a job is the only one who won at the game of life.
Considering you really really don’t want an abortion, think you should give the child up for adoption. I don’t know you personally, but with the way you describe yourself, it doesn’t seem like a good time in your life to have a child. You can always have children later in life if you feel you want them/can take care of them. You can always just leave the kid at a fire station and leave a note as to why so maybe they can have some closure later in life.
Wherever she/he will end up, it will most likely be better than having unprepared, mentally unwell parents.
>>83995>He has BPD. I have Asperger's.
Worst couple pairing holy shit. Abort.>>84014>if you aren't prepared to end all other ambitions in your life, I would have the abortion.
I hate that moids and pick-mes push the idea that women are supposed to give up all their ambitions in life for their kids. It's unhealthy as fuck. Then they say that women are emotionally unstable and neurotic. Bitch, you made them this way with your retarded morals.>>84063
Again, it's the retarded catholic tardthots. Ignore them.
>>87359>moids and pick-mes push the idea that women are supposed to give up all their ambitions
That's not what she said. OP will HAVE to do this, because as a single mother without a lot of money and a solid support network, she literally cannot pursue anything outside of motherhood until the child is able to function at home and school on their own.
OP was a month ago, I'm sure she's already made a decision by now.
the pill is wrought with side-effects, I'd consider getting the coil, although that would involve another scary procedure
The coil is just as bad plus you can’t stop it yourself like the pill.
hoping OP aborted but based on all her arguments against abortion, she seemed like she really wanted to keep it.
another baby in a broken home for the statistics i fear