I became overweight and eventually obese in the span of 3 years.
Everyone treats you so different. People are colder and more judgemental. Im not going to teach a priest how to pray, but it came to the point where someone insinuated to me that the reason i am fat is that my mother could not love me as a baby.
The only clothing i have are hand me downs from women twice my age or really elastic stuff. Im afraid to buy clothing for my size because i dont want to admit to myself i am this fat, and because
I have so many long, angry red stretch marks all over my body and i cant help but feel like i ruined my body forever. No matter what, these scars will always be there and will always remind me of my period as an obese woman. A loved one also has stretch marks snd compares mine to theirs in an attempt to make me feel better. The difference? Their stretch marks come from strict, harsh, olympic level body training during puberty, while mine come from sitting around and eating like a lardass for 2 years. >>9867>I'm conscious of the fact that these "younger" styles I like will look silly on me one day and I'm wasting my youth by being overweight. I barely wear makeup or style my hair because what's the point if I'm still fat? I want to look cute but wearing makeup and dressing nice will draw attention to myself.>I never take any photos of myself anymore and when I see a photo taken by someone else, it upsets me so much. >I want to change but I have a binging problem, especially when I'm stressed. I don't have any hobbies and I have the attention span of a cardboard box so I immediately turn to food to make myself happy. I keep reminding myself of all the things I can't do because I'm overweight (i.e. all the things above) but it doesn't help when I'm in that state, I just want to eat everything around me for that tiny bit of momentary joy it gives me. Then I go back to being depressed.
I couldnt have written it better anon. I hope you find the sttenght to overcome this