I posted this before in another thread but since this topic comes up a lot and doctors are useless I'm reposting:
I had it. Some background:
I went to the doctor (who didn’t even examine me) and got told to see councilors, who were useless and only recommended some weird 70s sex book that included a section on armpit sex (yes you read that right). Another doctor just gave me a lube prescription. Went again a couple of years later and saw a sex therapist who did examine me but was also useless and just wanted to talk about the times I had tried to have sex and criticising my choices. She couldn’t seem to grasp why I thought losing your virginity wasn’t a big deal (virginity is a man made concept) and couldn’t find anything in my childhood so I stopped going. Aside from an examination, I don’t recommend involving doctors at all.
How I cured it:
I went to another doctor and asked about a treatment that is basically inserting dildos of varying size until you are ok with a normal size. While men can get viagra as a free prescription, I was going to have to pay $$$ for a dildo set. I didn’t want to do that so I did the following instead:
1. Stop dating completely. It just put pressure on me to put up with the pain and made things worse.
2. When masturbating, right before climaxing, insert my pinkie finger for a few seconds, then remove and continue as normal. Gradually I built up to having the finger for longer, using the finger for stimulation, larger fingers, multiple fingers, etc. One you can bunch your whole hand together and insert that you’re pretty much fine.
3. During sex I now insist that I masturbate or my partner gives me oral until the brink of orgasm before anything is inserted into me. My partner can lick my nipples, kiss me, stroke themselves, while I do it. Also, if it hurts even in the smallest way (which basically never happens now) I stop immediately. No more pretending.
Hope this helps.