>>113028
I caught two ladybugs actin sus

>>113029
lesb bugs

I went to sleep around 9pm so I thought I would wake up too early this mofning, but I didn't. And I found a bus from my house directly to a place I need to go tomirrow.

>>51045
Meeting my girlfriend!
She is the love of my life. I could never see myself getting married until she talked about how much she wanted to get married last week.
Now all of my google searches involve engagement rings and wedding photographers! I can't wait to kneel down and ask her to be my wife one day.

>>113029
Beautiful.

I'm visiting my family for the first time in a long time!

>How long have you been self harming?
Coming up for 10 years
>What made you start?
Fucking stupid Internet drama
>What types of self harm?
Just cutting
>are you trying to quit?
Considered myself clean since 2019 but that's a lie. Still relapse when it gets especially hard.
>any effective alternatives/ways to minimize harm?
I just go to sleep instead
>why do you self harm?
No clue honestly I think I was doing it to be edgy and had friends that encouraged me to go deeper
>how does this effect your daily life?
Always afraid of a relapse but besides that my scars piss me off
>any other places you go for support?
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>How long have you been self harming?
15 years on and off (since I was 12-13)
>What made you start?
My upbringing with a difficult family, their divorce, life stressors and the bullying and harassment I endured when it first arose circa primary / secondary school. Also body dysmorphia and the fledgling of an ED. It would return and dull coinciding with traumatic events in my life
>What types of self harm?
At first just cutting, then escalating to cigarette burning and occasionally biting myself. In the last few years when it amped up brutally again I began to use glass shards and those left some umm pretty jagged scars
>are you trying to quit?
I have been clean since late January and I'm trying to stay that way.
>any effective alternatives/ways to minimize harm?
Being medicated now helps, but also turning my woes into art, writing, or resorting to anything else that isnt stabbing myself with the nearest sharp object. Sometimes I wail and cry until my chest hurts to weaken the emotional load.
>why do you self harm?
I'm still processing trauma from my past and present and in unbelievable bursts of emotion I have no idea how to handle the sensory feeling. ive done it on and off so i was never consistent but when i'd do it, i'd do it in small, brutal streaks and the damage it left would be noticeable
>how does this effect your daily life?
my arms and thighs are scar covered and i'm self conscious about them. It's like 77f out and I'm wearing leggings and a sweater. I'm terrified of being judged and ogled like a circus freak and in the past a few especially cruel men drive me to tears with their remarks
>any other places you go for support?
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>How long have you been self harming?
12ish.
>What made you start?
i have no idea actually.
>What types of self harm?
i used to peel skin off my heels and big toes. am autistic so head banging is an obvi. hitting myself in the eyes. got into cutting a while later. haven't stopped the cutting.
>are you trying to quit?
more so preventing then trying to quit. i have given up on quitting completely. i literally cant help myself. coping skills have stopped working. i have been doing it for 12 years now. idk.
>any effective alternatives/ways to minimize harm?
one thing that does help for me is hot baths. not effective every time. try to not get it too hot that it actually hurts tho
>why do you self harm?
control. expression. to feel. you name it.
>how does this effect your daily life?
i am pretty covered in scars. not deep really big ones but obvious enough ya know. my family at one point avoided photos of me because they were so bad. they have faded more but they are still obvious and there. nothing worse then your family member deleting a photo of you because you can see huge scars on your calves and arms. they are light now so i am allowed to be in photos. i stopped covering them because it wasn't worth being in long sleeves and pants when its humid out. i stopped caring. i will hide cuts if they are there but scars i don't see the point. i recently gave myself a black eye and had to hide in my apartment (already a neet anyway so) for a week until it went away. i have really big calluses from tearing up my heels and big toes. doing anything to grind them away has been futile. my head banging has actually lead to neck issues (along with other issues i have that don't help and a car accident)
>any other places you go for support?
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>How long have you been self harming?
since i was 14
>What made you start?
my classmate gave me some spare pencil sharpener razors and my brain thought to try it
>What types of self harm?
cutting, slapping myself
>are you trying to quit?
not for now, i relapsed a month ago. sadly it’s the only thing that helps me cope right now. i’m trying to minimize it though
>any effective alternatives/ways to minimize harm?
texting my friend to annoy her, washing my face with cold water, and squeezing my plush
>why do you self harm?
started because i hated myself and didn’t fit in at school. i thought something was wrong with me so i used it to punish myself. now i keep doing it because i believe i deserve the pain whenever i make a mistake like not doing well in my classes or i accidentally hurt a friend’s feelings or made my mom upset
>how does this effect your daily life?
doesn’t effect it other than i faint after doing it. only my sister noticed my cuts so far but she said nothing.
>any other places you go for support?
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

every few months I come back to this thread. Trying to stay clean. I cant tell if reading & writing stories about self harm is triggering me or helping me cope with my desire. To be fair, I don’t get too triggered by most stories because they’re about cutting, and I burned, but once in a while a character burns themselves and I just… wow. I remember how wonderful it is. I want it so bad I feel sick. Even writing this now my stomach is doing flips of desperation. I’m over a year clean, damn it! I don’t want any scars! Sigh.

What do you gyns think about how self harm is a first world problem? I am conflicted… because it’s kind of true, but that feels very dismissive.

>>113069
if this were true god himself would be evil. It would mean he made all women to be evil when he could have not done so. If God made half the species irredeemable from birth, that is an evil god.

Where do you hear this shit? I grew up in a very Christian community on the bible belt and even in that misogynistic community I've never heard takes like this.

Anyway these are opinions designed to oppress and control you.

>>113069
Yeah seconding >>113072, what the fuck kind of religion are you listening to

Are you Mormon or Orthodox Jewish?

I think the problem is the people you are surrounded by hate women and are projecting their opinions onto God and Creation.
I grew up Muslim and around Muslims and I've never heard people say this stuff or anything similar personally even with how sexist some of my relatives are. I've also never heard the idea that God created women as evil being destined for hell. Temptress stuff sure (Eve tempting Adam with the fruit is a Christian thing not a Muslim one, but some Muslims have adopted the Christian story cause sexism even if the tale explicitly states BOTH chose TOGETHER in the Quran), but the idea that a woman cannot be a true believer sounds more like straight illiterate villager talk. Only once I've come across that mentality but it was a supremely sexist man from a small inbred village who himself just thought women were too dumb for idea creation and opinions and it just leaked out into every aspect of life from religion to voting. But we know psychos like that are wrong, even my rather backwards uncles looked at him like he was mental because they know their wives are intelligent and know right from wrong better than them. I worry you're surrounded by psycho men and they're making you feel this intense hatred for yourself that has nothing to do with God or religion at all. Educated people can look to the world around them and see women are capable of their own decisions and are overall the segment of the population making better decisions on average. We don't commit violent crimes, we don't rape and terrorise children, we are the empathetic ones, and we are the backbone of society. Our job isn't just to create more male believers and if it was, we'd need to be a believer in the first place to do so considering everyone knows moms have the biggest impact on raising children. These are sexist slogans that make no sense on scrutiny and have no bearing on life and God.
What does your scripture itself state God's opinion of women is? Maybe read that and reassure yourself people don't represent God and maybe do some internal soul searching to see if you're commiting internalised blasphemy encouraged by evil blasphemers who claim to know God's feelings on women and are in fact speaking their own feelings as God's truth
Sorry I hope this makes sense and helps at all

>>113045
im disappointed seeing nonas on here talking like men. theres a lot of replicating the same repulsive cadence and the same same topics just genderbended. its so tiring to see but if anything i hope those nonas can find the way out of that

>>113058
most users who obsess over extremely young men for the larp are shotatrannies from a certain discord

>>113034
moid

>>113058
If it's talking like a man it's probably a man nona.

>>113081
nah you'd be surprised how many women default to moid speak when they're anonymous online…

>>113055
>same flag
>same image
>same dogshit opinion
That is one homosexual man.

I'm afraid I'll always be alone. I didn't have friends like the others who respected me. I'm terribly ugly.

>>112950
they're not real, men made and written by women are fine

I feel like I'm about to burst into tears over nothing, an empty "I hate being alive" feeling with no reasons to back it up.

I just got rejected from two jobs that I thought I was incredibly qualified for. I've been searching for months now put in so, so many applications, and even the part time summer job that would have paid scraps didn't want me. It makes me feel empty and worthless. My resume and cover letters get me interviews but I feel like once I get there in person, I ruin it for myself. I can't keep feeling optimistic. My friends who didn't finish college have better jobs than me, and I can't stop comparing myself to them. This is starting to eat me alive.

ur not alone at all. i'm 22, turning 23 and i still feel like an awkward, socially inept helpless child sometimes. it sucks. i'm returning to college after failing out, i work a part-time where i'm hardly respected or even spoken to, got no friends or significant other. it really does feel like a repetitive, cyclical void of dread and monotony. i'm shut-in and online almost 24/7 and i hate it but i know nothing else. but the small things are still worth something, i think. idk exactly what's up with you but ik depression and apathy eats me alive inside. you sink further and further, to a degree where getting out and actually doing something feels futile. like you'd hardly done anything at all. but comparison is a fool's game when it comes to your friends and others, it only gets you deeper in that void. you're not them, and they aren't you. and the time will pass anyway, with or without you. do with what you have, i hope soon you'll look back and see you've gotten somewhere, if not far. we're all stuck in this shitty fucking void together, at least.

I'm 27 now, I went back to school at 25. I'm objectively behind in life. Most of my friends started working in their early or mid twenties, several of them have already bought a home with their partner. It sucks being behind. On the other hand I try to think of it this way: I'm enjoying my time in school, I have a roof above my head even if it's not my own, I have hobbies that I enjoy. So does it really matter that much that my friends are ahead? Their days aren't significantly more fun or more enjoyable just because they have a carreer or a home or a relationship. I also live for me, I don't have to have something to be proud of and show off as long as I'm enjoying my life. Idk if that makes sense. If you ever want to talk, lmk.

>>113043
Your life sounds exactly the same as mine. My days are so boring and when I have a day with nothing to do I'm filled with dread.
>>113042
>there are things I want to do and projects I want to start but I just can’t yet
So true, sometimes I wish I didn't live with family so I could do hobbies or go anywhere without people knowing.

I want a house (or ideally a small farm house) and a quiet 9 to 5 lifestyle. That's about the extend of my traditional life goals. I'm not interested in marriage or kids. I'm frankly not even that interested in settling down with a life partner but I'll probably have to if I ever want to own my own property in this economy.

>>112922
> what are you studying?
I'm studying philosophy but not in a pretentious or moidy way I swear!!!!
> that's exactly what happened to me.
I'm glad I'm not the only one, it's so weird because I was SO against the idea of ever having children for countless reasons. I wonder if it's a hormonal thing or something or if that's just a myth spread by moids and I am simply growing up and being more conscious of the remainder of my life. I am also unsure about the future, I think I could be happy either way and I hope you are too, if it's what we really want we can do it and if not we can just not!!!!

I definitely have a dream of getting my own house with a white fence and garden. But I don't want marriage or kids, maybe some short-term relationships with moids at best since nearly all moids here are not childfree and I probably would end up living and retire with my female partner instead in a Boston marriage later in life

>>112906
Kind of. I'd like to be able to provide for my wife one day, while also taking on the role of house-wife.
I just like the idea of cleaning and cooking all day, while also being the bread-winner of the house-hold. I just want to come home everyday to see my wife living a leisurely lifestyle and dote her.
Does anyone else feel the same way?

>>113032
I want a Boston marriage too tbh. Settling down and growing old with my best friend (not that I have one) sounds like a dream. I just don't know how to make it happen.

>>112789
you just described all of lolcow

>plan to finally do something
>car fails on me again
Life.jpg

I just bought yuri manga for 73 euros and I feel so guilty and degenerate.

always getting nothingburger emails in my nothingburger life… no cool notifications or anything for me : )

>>113060
drop ur email I'll send you cool stuff (look at this tiger popping bubbles)

>>112900
you could just express this and potentially play one of those cringe online games together, i think discord is lame but in this instance it would be convienant, or maybe setting up a day for it so your emotionally prepared and could do something special like getting pizza or something, if they are your friends they wouldnt be intentionally trying to drain you of your social juices lol, they would probably understand.

>>112901
alot of the time I don't even have the energy for a phone call as soon as I'm home from work. After a few good hours of alone time I'm feeling fine again, and have the energy to scoalize but by then my friends are asleep

>>112902
i get it, try to do it in advance or when you are like up do it and then have the date in mind that way youre prepared mentally for it and you can strike a balance between the two, remember they are your friends for a reason :)

>>112893
I want to be around my friends, but I just don't have the capability after dealing with the public for 8 hours. I've lost friends over this, because they expect way too much from me. Thankfully, my roommate is a saint. He's content to just play a game or watch a dumb movie and talk like he has an audience so I can lay down and fall asleep to the sounds of positive social interaction that I don't have to engage in. I'll wake up after a couple of hours, have a snack, then stagger to bed and fall asleep without feeling like I'm alone.

it would be way less of a pain in the ass if the people in question didnt exept me to be the one to carry the conversation every single fucking time