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Thread to discuss Long Distance Relationships. The struggles, the pros… meeting the person for the first time… meeting them for the 50th time… vent both sad and happy things. LDRs can be quite a challenge but it's the right thing for some people.

Again we need to vent
Previous Thread >>>/feels/129800

tell me about your day cc!
stories also welcome

I don’t know where else to post this. I’m not gonna lie, I do care who sees this and there’s a good chance I’ll get banned for posting this shit.:/ I’m 18 and asexual. (Ironic, considering what I’m about to tell you.)
When I was 10 and my half-sister was 18, she showed me an 18+ game (Summertime Saga or some shi). I masturbated for two years because of that shit until I stopped for five years idk why. My sister never touched me but now I’m disgusted by her. I don’t want to see her not even in pictures and I don’t know if I should tell my dad about this. I doubt he’d care but I feel like I should tell him. I don’t talk to my sister anymore, but knowing what she’s like, I know she’ll try to talk to me again at some point. I don’t want that. She disgusts me. I feel like I hate her.

it's 6 months now since i lost my best friend. she didn't even wish me a happy birthday and was supposed to come up to see me, but cancelled last minute to prioritize a man over me. i still mourn the friendship. i dont understand why a man is more important to me when i was the one who covered for her constantly. everytime she cheated on her boyfriends, id tell them to their face she didnt do it and she was at mine. but as soon as i wanted her there for my 26th birthday she didn't come. its not like it was sudden either. we planned it for 1 year prior for when we both had money to splurge and go out.

why do all female friends leave me? they say they love me and then see boys? i dont understand. i was single for her. i dont understand.

this happened with my highschool best friend too.

im just venting… need advice on how to get over this.

Looking for advice and the possible reason for this. A couple years ago, I lost a couple family members including my father through an accident which led me to isolate, losing the ability to socialize properly, but after some therapy I was able to make a lot of new friends, now I can easily make friends and go out. My problem is, I act completely different infront of my friends/relationships compared to my mother. I go into a small shell, she has never been abusive but incredibly supportive of my journey but this really gets to me because she probably things I am genuinely retarded when I am actually a big socialite and I can look into other peoples faces and hold good conversation, good posture, hygiene, etc. It's like I see her as a caregiver.. I don't know why I do this because it really makes me look really weak in front of my family. What can I do to become more normal and functioning around my mother that I can do with my friends?

My family, including extended family, is extremely trad. Beliefs vary a little bit but for the most part women shouldn't go to college or vote, premarital sex is evil, dating around is evil, and not having kids makes you a whore. They're like christian jihadists essentially.

"Women's rights" wise my parents were actually better than my extended family because they wanted me to be educated and to work, they just wouldn't pay for any college. (They paid for my brother, lol). But my parents fucked it up for themselves because they beat me really bad and started calling me a whore the moment I got my period. Real Carrie shit. I still have an eating disorder because I was mostly fed their leftovers and just never developed an appetite. Just real bizarre shit. My point is, I have no familial ties to any of these people. Like they're just nothing to me.

My main obstacle is getting a job that pays enough. I'm on medicaid and am getting psychiatric help but it might be a long road to normalcy. I had a full time job once and had a nervous break that stopped me from sleeping for five days. I'm really scared to go back to work after that but I've tried a few part time jobs and gig work since then and I found a few things that I could cope with I think.

My main fear is that they come looking for me and start a lot of drama. Does anyone else have experience with this? Are they allowed to just stalk you in the USA if you're related to them?

Fuck guys idk where to start. Yeah. He switched up when I got pregnant and isolated me hard. Financial abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, some quasi-physical abuse (corning me in a room and flexing his fists for one, punched walls, doesn't let me leave a room or the home while he bearates me.) He's lost his temper with baby before too, slapped, screamed insults, yells if she does something that annoys or bothers him.
I have c-PTSD (diagnosed after I went to a women's shelter, from this relationship and the previous one) and Asperger's, but I've done a lot of counseling and reading on communication and in the beginning of the relationship was quite good at it, but the moment he starts the word twisting, taking everything as an attack, blaming me for it, insulting my character, all the DARVO shit, I lose it and have meltdowns.
He was arrested, but his colleagues (he's a cop) protected him, and then he had been threatening me for months about this specific scenario and I fucked up massively by lying and hiding what he's done to get the charges dropped.
He lacks empathy entirely, and I'm not sure he feels any emotions other than anger, and he thinks it's justified to act out that anger however he pleases. He thinks hitting kids, shaming them, yelling at them - even newborns and toddlers (mine is 1.5yo) is important and how you get them to behave. I am more a "natural consequence" and empathetic "home is a place of understanding and valuing each other as individuals" parent.

I feel really fucking stuck.
He has many advantages in court because of his career, he's very manipulative and lies well, brags about it. He will take my baby from me if I leave, he's very vindictive. Even just an overnight stay a week I feel panicked, what if he smacks her or screams at her again, and she can't tell me because she can't talk?

So I am torn - I leave, to protect myself, potentially leaving my baby open to the same emotional abuse.
Or I stay and try to play nice/lay low until she is old enough or until work transfers him too far away to see her, so that I can be there to protect her.
If I'm there, he does essentially no parenting, unless he thinks I'm leaving him, and then all of a sudden he's the most fun and hands-on dad…

Idrk what I'm asking sorry, my mind's all fucked and I don't have any close friends, or family.