>>127057
but I have no desire to be secretly evil or whatever. I think I act dumb so much that I don’t feel like being smart. it doesn’t feel bad when someone treats me dumb either. am I becoming a dog??

>>127066
It depends why you don't care, but I think it can be more good than bad, assuming it's not because your self esteem is just low and you agree with them. Like your judgement is less clouded by emotional hang ups and the other person reveals a lot more about themselves by treating you like this anyway.

>>127067
i agree i think it can be good to not be obsessed with people viewing you a certain way or needing to prove yourself

>>127067
I know I’m not dumb, but it’s just fun to be dumb? people say I’m clumsy and just gloss over anything intellectual with me which should feel demeaning but it doesn’t? but anyways this all stemmed from the horror of being normiefied! I was expecting the standard “don’t become a braindead normie” responses to op but nonas seem to generally agree it’s ok to normiemax?

>>127069
I generally believe you should be able to act like a normie when the situation calls for it. If you aren't truly a normie you won't turn into one by accident.

>>127045
I’m sure you’ve cut contact with someone abruptly too before. Life just happens and you don’t feel like bringing yourself to talk to someone at that moment. Sometimes you reconnect, sometimes you don’t. It doesn’t change the experiences you already shared with them, the memories are yours forever.

>>127046
>the memories are yours forever

That's not what alzheimer's and dementia said

>>127048
Well then you’re just screwed and should find a way to euthanise yourself before you hurt your loved ones

you can’t take loved away.

People stay when they're getting something from you. Doesn't mean you're a bad person if nobody stays with you, just that you need to learn skills ppl need. It's like a job.

>>125779
just don't give it up
does open here imply the relationship is incidental?

>>127041
what i mean to say is: is he really just looking for sex?

tells you he’s never felt love before when he’s like thirty with half a dozen exes. that’s actually scary, baby, not a sign we are meant to be.

if he’s looking at his phone when he’s with you. he shouldn’t be online when you’re home ever. if he is he’s bored.

>>127061
and if he’s bored he’s monkey branching

>>126912
Also to add, I don't know if he truly means this but he says he would kill himself if I died and I freak out because wtf? He also just talks so poorly on himself that it's getting to me and I don't know what to do because I do believe in male mental health but he doesn't even know how to look after himself let alone be in a relationship with someone

>>126914
DO NOT MEET WITH HIM!!

>>126912
a man in his mid twenties love bombing a teenager he met online and now using suicide baiting guilt tactics on you?

i don’t know how to say this lightly but nona. he’s going to force himself on you. whether it’s sexual or forcing a relationship.

this is a jobless adult man who is resorting to dating teenagers because other people his age have apartments and engagements and degrees and careers. he has to date your age because it’s less weird to you at your age for someone to not have these things. but he isn’t a teenager like you. he is stunted and probably dangerous.

if i were you i’d pull a:
“hee hee i don’t remember you asking to be my bf!!!”
“ohhh well it’s a bit fast and i want to be able to meet someone before i decide”
“ohh im not feeling well and since i won’t be able to get what i needed to done, i’m going to have to push when we meet back!”
and then talk about all of your responsibilities and working towards having a life of your own and see how he either thinks he is more important and be repulsed or he’ll have to back off. and then i would slowly stop responding or respond less and less. he will probably freak out at you a little. don’t reply right away then pretend you’re super sorry and worried reply for a bit then have “something come up and you’ll be right back” you have to back out of these things slowly and carefully. idk how obsessed he is or how much do your info he has. he’s already threatening suicide with you cooperating. he WILL threaten you or harm you at least emotionally if not worse in the future if you don’t comply. think about how weird he is being when you’re being agreeable. THIS is his honeymoon phase?

nona you better run or we will all be disappointed in you. you know deep down already this man is a creep. you’re just a baby still. don’t worry. rejecting this man will open doors for new men to come and you’ll have a higher sense of self worth each time you reject a man. the higher your standards are the better. rejecting men like this is how you build your standards. you’ve already taken the first step in identifying this is a certifiable freak. that’s major. you know what you need to do deep down.

You are wasting both his and your time

>>127058
will someone PLEASE think of the man grooming a teenager online.. puhleeeaassee guys we have to caaarrrreeee about men’s time and feelings… please he must be so lonely having his entire social life over discord plssss can anyone help HIM

>>126739
That's terrible!

it’s only been a few days. breathe.

>>126739
I hate this "nonchalant" precept that zoomers follow religiously thinking it makes them cool. Ugh

>>127029
We've also got Millennials locked into permanent Dave Strider coolkid lowercase into their 30s and 40s, too.

>>113913
gtfo moid, you wouldn't get it

>>72555
Sounds like you have an attraction to the GAME of love itself, but can't commit. You like the chase, but you love it too much, and it leaves you wanting when feelings become mutual, since you haven't become content with loving what being in a relationship is actually like.

Hope you're doing better now nona, been a while.

I walked past six baby skunks eating a trash pizza

i fully believe in the concept of toxic camaraderie. the concept of friendships can be toxic, in spite of how media portrays friendship as always being pure or wholesome. for example, people who assume that you do not like them or are against them as people solely for the fact of not desiring to be their friend. in actuality, most people just want to have friends that they believe align with their goals and interests. being selective about who you are friends with, or not desiring to be friends with someone, does not indicate that you are against that person or dislike them AT ALL. it just means you do not perceive someone as adding to your life - that is not dislike or hatred, or that you are against them as people. people are groomed by society into believing that someone that does not want to be friends with them threaten their security. i can think of examples in real life where someone assumed that my desire not to be their friend was based on malicious feelings towards them, where none but neutrality existed. you do not have to want to be friends with EVERYONE - that is a waste of emotional energy and humans are limited by their lifespan and how they dedicate their time.
additionally, being friends with someone can result in malicious behavior, even if you BELIEVE that the friendship itself is pure. just because you are friends with someone does not mean you will hate someone just because your friend does. people who are friends and think of their friendship as a means of hating people together, that is absolutely dumb. friendship should be about supporting your friend, not about hating people together, even IF you care about your friend or perceive them as being hurt by someone and believe that hatred is justified, when it never is - media's portrayal of such friendships is an example of propagating and normalizing toxic camaraderie.

I tried participating in an event in Pokémon go, but the bosses was too hard for me. And the group chat im in just Said "get gud." Meanwhile they all have people they can play with irl. I don't. It just sucks that they're not there for me in game when im always there for them. Im going to try my luck again in the Big city tomorrow. Hopefully there will be enough people playing irl tomorrow.

>>126994
Hey nona. The fact you're self aware about this is already a huge step. You don't need to save every animal or person that's in distress, it's another way to create a toxic environment. In fact you should be saving only yourself and people who won't inflict harm upon you. Many bad situations can be avoided this way, so hopefully you can find some solace and agency in this idea.

>>126998
those tik toks of animals with days to live have been upsetting me so bad lately. i keep emailing shelters near me to get in touch with them because i can’t have a dog on my floor and i rent. the amount of suffering in the world drives me insane. i guess that’s why i even care someone who hurt me is depressed. he let me suffer alone when he knew i was hurting. there’s just a part of me that can’t be like that towards someone when i know i’m part of it. i wanted him to say sorry and then for it to be over. not for him to be silently suicidal and think the situation is so far gone i wouldn’t care if he apologized and he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. cos like the greater implication scares me. what if no one ever forgives each other for anything and we don’t fix climate change and the whole world is just backed into a corner and the whole earth ends.

>>127001
I actually understand you a lot…
Still I hope you remember that unless you take care of yourself nobody else will. Please put yourself first nona, and your loved ones if you have them
also these tiktoks are 100% made by manipulative mfers

>>127003
i’m glad at least for the ones connecting dogs on death row to people who have confirmed they’ve saved them at least. i tried to show my local shelter the shelter needing animals transferred out and i hope that eventually no animals have to be put down and they can just be moved to areas with not a lot of strays like where i live. it like destroys me inside seeing this stuff because there aren’t any kill shelters within driving distance of me at all so it’s hard to do anything when the most urgent need isn’t local. i try to focus on wildlife rehab and conservation stuff here. i feel like i obsessively need to focus on fixing things or the weight of the world starts driving me actually insane.

>>126989
he’s not secretly venmo-ing me and if he wanted me back it would be a temporary psychotic break. i think this might just be your best friends boyfriend.

no matter what it is he was upset about, destroying things out of anger is genuinely manchild behavior. what i would do is tell him to grow up.

at best he can't control his emotions and damages your home/belongings. at worst this is a warning sign for future domestic abuse if he can't control his violence when upset

>>127024
he was reacting to something that happened to me to be fair to him. it did scare me though.

>>127026
clear sign he thinks of you as his possession, dump him

>>127037
honestly we already had a huge fight over it and made up but he also called me his woman and it made me cringe so much. i’m “your” WHAT? we barely know each other and i low key want to bail still

>>127028
>but if it’s mental illness is it maybe also caused by trauma?
Of course it is, no sane person acts this way.
>and i don’t think more pain or punishment would help him.
I guess honestly I am too coming from a family where any misdeed has been faced with cruelty, so I probably reacted in a pretty unhinged way. But honestly I don't know what else I was supposed to do.
>and you say your person is afraid of being left? do you think they might have a high opinion of you and have left first out of fear and regretted it cos they were scared you would leave first?
Uhh honestly it doesn't make a lot of sense to me given the context. Maybe true, maybe they even thought I was too emotionless to care, but in the end their actions weren't very nice and I was more scared of being disrespected like this than anything else. They outright insulted me, likely under someone's manipulation but still. I honestly wouldn't care if they just admitted to it with respect.

>>127030
but you don’t think they’re capable of having this conversation and they’re not in your life anymore so i guess i can’t advise to talk to them. i just wish more people could talk it out. if you both reacted badly i think that kind of situation has the best chance of both parties being able to be vulnerable and honest. if they have npd though they probably aren’t capable of that. i’m sorry you’re still trapped feeling things over this that you can’t resolve.

>>127031
I actually wish I could talk it out too but I didn't believe it anymore. Thanks nona, I actually really needed someone to talk about this with. I have a good honest relationship now so I'm fine.
They do kinda give a vibe that they tried latching onto me just to display me as a trophy in front of other people so I don't think they had the ability to even care what I think at all. I'm actually satisfied with the outcome of the situation, though.

>>127032
my ex treated me like that because all of his friends wanted to date me and he didn’t even want me. he just wanted what they couldn’t have to prove a point. i know how painful that is. i’m so sorry. i’m so glad you’re okay and i could be someone to scream into the void to.

>>127033
On the bright side you are popular enough to sway entire social dynamics nona! He was an asshole but he can't take away that from you. Thanks, I'm gonna head off to bed now. Have a nice time of day wherever you are <3