OP here again, thinking about fucking his mom as a revenge

OP. Husband has completely lost it. I escaped last night and stayed with my MIL. I can't really affor a hotel so I'm going to stay at a manga cafe nights. The problem is my husband sent me shopping but didn't trust me with my own phone, so I have his. I can't access my email or line, or use paypay. Luckily I have cash.

No plan except never going back. Looking forward to freedom in 2026.

OP again, embarrassed that I'm still posting here. Things have been crazy. I'm heading to a manga cafe tonight and meeting with my welfare manager tomorrow. I hope she can help me make a plan. I'm suddenly feeling really scared about everything.

>>128440
I cant even believe this thread is still here…..but four years later here we are.

OP here. I'm going to a shelter. I feel weirdly calm about it.

>>127480
Forgot these pros:
- Drinks Matcha
- Wears funky plushies

>>127480
>anger issues as a child that were never resolved
>very bad reputation on campus
>our college had to move us into seperate houses
Clearly they are seeing something you are blinding yourself to. Please be safe nona.

>>127492
hell no never

Pros
> very sweet and kind, he plans cutes dates for us and is always nice…
> very cute, extremely out of my league
> smartie pants
> puzzle master
> lets me drag him along because he always gets lost otherwise
> has sex witb me on my period
> good taste in films/kino
> very good kisser
> sensible political views for the most part
> not a big whore
> always nice to talk to, very compatible in that way
> really really funny
> gets really sweaty but in a cyte way during sex

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i’m sorry i made your life so small and left you with such horrible options.

i keep replaying those horrible words you said to me in my head, hoping they were just some stupid shit you didn’t mean. but, man it’s really hard. i probably will never get an explanation or an apology though. that somehow hurts even more. you really feel these things and i need to let go.

i’m so sorry i make you listen to such sad music. please don’t hurt yourself. i wish we could be honest and i could say the things i’ve never said to you.

we left so much unsaid that neither of us have ever said anywhere. i can barely admit it in my own head and i’ve never even written it in my own diaries let alone told another soul.

please don’t go through with hurting yourself. you aren’t trapped. it’s going to be okay.

I miss him so fucking much nonas. Fucking bipolar.

I slept 11 hours and then took a 2.5 hour nap and I'm still so tired. Stress exhaustion is real. Coffee only helps a little.

Other women (dumb) love me, men (dumb) hate me.
Other women (smart) hate me or just kinda generally stay away, men (smart) love me.

i truly have no one. i’m so painfully sad.

I gave myself a hangover.

lol what, I think it’s just them being permanently online. Is there anything that makes your art look masc in particular? Seems like a very odd comment from them

>>128422
I'm not really sure ,I posted this photo of this painting I made of my boyfriend and they thought he made it. Even tho I explicitly said I did. They banned me because of my voice ,which I have a deep voice especially now since I'm going through premature menopause ( due to the pcos )

This gotta be fake nobody's this retarded
Then again… i have been wrong before
If true they knew (and were just being malicious)

>>128424
I wish it was ,but it's not. I'm very lonely and wish I had some female art friends. But women hate me because they think I'm trans

>>128423
Is your boyfriend Jasper？

Are those men shorter than you? They will tend to be insecure about it. Some exceptions.

>>128385
I’m taller than my boyfriend and it makes me really insecure how often he has to talk about it not bothering me. I hate seeing pictures of his ex swimming in his t-shirts like they’re dresses and knowing his shirts would hug my belly. I’m a head taller than him and it’s super visible.

>>128409
Why care what others think? You’re most likely never going to see others in public again, and friends who make fun of your aren’t really your friends at that point

>>128429
It’s just really uncomfortable for us both physically. He likes the look of a girl in his t shirts with no pants on, gushes about his 4’11” ex looked like that. They’re crop tops on me. He can’t pick me up and he’s into that. I can’t sit on his lap. He can’t spoon me. I can tell both of us are dissatisfied physically.

>>128443
Treading carefully in a reasonable response but I think he should learn to princess carry you

>>128449
right! "I'm ugly" is a physical fact, not a challenge to see who gives the best pity compliment. "but you're so pretty" I've seen a fucking mirror before

What's wrong with being ugly you don't get harassed by moids right?

>>128452
thank-you for informing me. i'll be sure not to spread any cope related to teeth issues then. i'm personally in denial, because my own insecurity about wearing teeth gear discouraged me from going forward with a fix for my overjet and braces to straighten the form got dismissed. oh how fucking stupid i was. to any young s lurking, use anything offered to you for your appearance. do not lean on the comfort of avoiding current-time inconveniences. just plunge into the cold water and fucking save yourself. i do vaguely recall that the top half of the mouth can be fixed through surgery, so that i'll still cling to.

>>128455
You do. I'm sure there's a level of appearance where you're mostly left alone but at a certain level of ugliness moids will react with aggression.

I occasionally have groups of teenage moids who'll come at me and scream shit like "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE" into my face. But zoomers are mostly too socially awkward to do it.

Millennial and boomer men are another matter altogether. Imagine the worst school bully you've ever experienced, this is how these grown men act when they see an ugly woman
I mentioned my coworker in OP and that's how most moids react - mockery best case, violence and contempt worst case.
I've had a junkie run at me waving his fists and screaming "YOU LOOK SO FUCKED UP".

This summer a moid stopped his car on the side of the road and got out to tell me that I "shouldn't wear stuff like this" (pink shin-length dress, cardigan - very basic and nondescript clothing) "while looking like this" (gestured to face). Then laughed like he just made the best joke ever

At my gym there is an elder millennial/boomer regular who makes jabs at me every time he sees me. "still with that face I see hahahaha" "wow you look great, did you change your hair hahahahaha" "this top looks great you just need a paper bag hahahahaha". He has a wife, from what I hear, and works as a doctor.

I have tons of examples of strangers approaching me just to tell me I'm ugly, it happens several times a month. And it's never women. I'm sure they remark on it in private and that doesn't bother me because it doesn't even rank in comparison to the above

>>128455
Bland little comment, but I'll bite. We earn 12% less than attractive people. We're likelier to be estimated as less sociable, less friendly, we're guessed as having worse personalities regardless of our real ones. Being perceived as unattractive is linked to negative health outcomes like disordered eating and poorer mental wellness. We go through systematic bias in education, employment and the legal system. Imagine getting a worse sentence because the judge and the jury isn't charmed by a sweet little face? Absolutely rotten. We receive harsher sentences. "Unattractive is bad" becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy against our will, all because others decide that we're not worth talking to, not worth dating for love, not worth including in plans. Then they complain that we're bitter, and stupidly say that their observation of our grief confirms all their oh so true suspicions that we're not worth anything.
I personally don't care to reduce the suffering of pretty girls. I'm nowhere near hungry for the molesting eyes of men, who are the primary predators of beauty. I also find them gorgeous and want them to enjoy their blessings. But listen, the whole not getting harassed thing is bullshit. Not only because ugly women will get raped and not believed, all to the benefit of the rapist - but because I've been shouted at in the road by a bunch of males simply for being ugly. They include you in their jokes against your participation - i wasn't even looking at them - clawing at my dignity just because they could and always can. All the claims of not being harassed come from people who haven't cared at all to know what any of us unattractive people go through.>>128455

Besides satisfying my physiological needs, not much. I think a lot. From the moment i wake up i start thinking and i don't stop thinking until all my energy is depleted. It is lonely to be a thinker, to have realized things that take long time to realize, because you can't explain to others something that takes long time to realize for the same reason you can't learn a language by having someone explain it to you. It takes time and i have spent a lot of it. Now there is an abyss between me and other humans, it feels lonely, but at the same time i feel fortunate, i regret nothing. There is a way back to people, some day i might start helping them, but my compassion is still lacking.

>>125667
Self study. Free courses online. Laugh at streams. Hobbies. Cloud watching, painting, woodwork. Explore. Go on virtual tours. Plenty of free crap to do online and IRL. Volunteer.

I'm over 30. It's possible that I have AuDHD but I never got diagnosed, and never will. I just watch useless videos, scroll useless sites, read useless things, argue with useless people online, and do useless stuff. I live with my parents and help around the house, and I watch movies during days where I don't feel guilty about wasting my time.

I have tried many attempts to change my life, but my attempts always crumble because I try to take drastic steps to change. I try to change to take steps that could be as simple as starting to go out for a walk or as drastic as getting an interview but I could never really make it out. The simple changes don't stick for more than a weak and the drastic changes are too overwhelming I just crash out the next days and completely hit rock bottom again.

Smoke ciggies like a real woman
But in all honesty I just do art all day and lift with my husband , I clean he cooks so it's a good dynamic

>>128299
It has nothing to do with being autistic. Most of them are desperate for some kind of approval. So you should immediately dismiss any kind of judgement or rejection from them, Especially if youre in a higher place and didnt initially come in looking for that kind of chaos. When i was younger i would try to understand them but its better if you dont. If theyre coming from a place of harrassment of any kind theyre like starved dogs already. I honestly dont think most women are any better than men because theyre brainwashed as hell and begging for scraps because of social conditioning when they dont even have to. Even the prettiest women on earth act like this. (Well honestly i think theyre even more brainwashed to behave desperate, because they have to act the part to please the man that already expects them to behave like this.)

most women are male centered and don’t want to be saved. i don’t think women are as bad as men but i don’t think most women are “good” either. they will stop at nothing to actively uphold patriarchal norms and cater to men.

>>128321
This is true tbh. The amount of women I met that forgive anything shitty their husband does just to not end up divorcing is sad. That being said, it's mostly women in their 40s, the younger generations seems to have better bundaries but are still melow af and 4b is definitely not that popular here except not having children (which is more due to financial issues anyway)

Hey I'm sorry you feel this way ,and I feel the exact same way as a autistic masc woman. It's like normie females can sniff we're not normal