>>40061>society's "moral" mobs are infinitely worse than the rape itself.>The things "good" people do.The lack of appropriate response is a uniquely poisonous betrayal. I do think it's too strong to say it's "infinitely worse" than the rape itself, but yes, when people believe they're doing good it makes it harder for them to see why they should be acting differently, at worst making them touchy or resistant to being told they need to change their attitude, which is detrimental to the situation. They think it's "not their business" or too hard for them, so they abandon those in need. The self centeredness of people on top of such an already selfish crime committed against a victim's human dignity, their body, their self worth, is beyond sinister. The ones who approve of themselves as certainly having virtuous perspectives whilst they do nothing to contribute to environments where victims feel safe/able to recover are "swine" exactly because of that fact. The cameras they shove into things, too, the videos used to entertain audiences, it's all scummy and gawky. It's disgusting to see people pat themselves on the back and believe they're moral for getting their hands all over someone else's experiences, then dusting off and saying "I've done a good thing" with nothing properly achieved by ways of support. Meanwhile the victim is in pieces feeling like shit because they've been over-examined, over-politicised, sometimes pitied even if they hate the feeling, and pushed into/intruded upon with forms of therapy and attention that they weren't ready for.
Humanity still has a long way to go in learning how to treat others not like spectacles but as individuals. Kind of hard in a digital news age where we can look into experiences with no personal attachment required. Grim
>>40062>He seriously humiliates his daughter by beating a man, when she already feels ostracized and ends up bullied (probably partially as a result).Now her life has been changed not only be the rape, but by the people who are supposed to be there for her. The rape gets to take her life even further apart in new ways, even more tragically, through puppeting her father's rage. He's working to appease his own anger with what occurred, forgetting that he needs to think primarily about his daughter. There's that element of his own pride by extension being torn open by the rapist, since our culture keeps this aspect of collective dignity tied into family units. And all that added interference of chauvinism, the "I'll protect my family" thing, feeling like another man is personally challenging him by using his daughter. It's not evil since wanting justice for someone you love is understandable, but how it forces things deeper into the muck is so devastating. Revenge over waiting for the victim first. It always seems to be like that (still, we need the retaliatory spirit, i don't advocate for discouraging it. But it must come afterward, not first)
>it's implied her Dad now views her in a different light, because he asks the investigator "did she scream? Beg for help? Tell him to get off?" And gets obsessed with how she was sexting the man before the incident.The age old tale of victims not being perfect enough, or unrelatable. The public's so often been made to think of rape as a back alley knife to the throat event that their attention has done substantial damage to nuance. This father can't see his daughter as an autonomous agent in her sexuality at the same time as she's a casualty in this nightmare. In his eyes he probably, not consciously I want to imagine, needs her to have been overpowered physically to help him absorb/accept the event for what it was. If someone's not completely helpless during their abuse then people get suspicious. But also, in this situation it seems, it's more to do with the father forgetting how she's young, thus impressionable, and assertion won't come easy. "Why couldn't you have done this (pushed him off)? We wouldn't have been in this mess if you had" type of thinking. As a result she's left to feel like she could've done more, when the nature of being primed for abuse is that you're not going to know and can't defend yourself easily. People need to focus on reminding victims of this fact slowly and carefully, waiting for them to first feel how they instinctually want to about what happened without implying anything, before explaining later (not insisting) that regardless of what they did it was always the job of the predator to be the responsible one.
>She's in denial about it, saying she loves him, he loves her, it was consensual, no big deal, whatever. And everyone is hell bent on drilling in her mind that he raped her and he groomed her and never loved her.She wants to internally rationalise and work through what unfolded by not thinking of herself immediately as being thoroughly destroyed or "used" like the public tends to believe is in the "atmosphere", the "air," surrounding sexual exploitation. There's that aspect of shame that won't go away, the degradation. So why would most victims ever want to instantly accept what objectively happened to them, if they'll be seen as so violated? They don't want that. Which is why they'll imagine things from an alternative angle. "I consented", "this person didn't actually use me for my body", "it's not a big deal." Yet people still react by asserting their own perspective. They won't act as therapists with clean hands capable of handling the issue using trained language, acknowledging the sense of internal blame in the victim, etc. They'll start telling the victim how she should feel rather than listening to her and what she wants, denying her the primary voice instead of offering her back some control over what happened. Her father, the school, the bullies, and everything else "get to" "remove" her involvement at the same time that they nit-pick and mishandle her.
>I think maybe there could be support for her, without forcing her to process and come to terms with everything so fast.Agreed. Professional rape responders are invaluable. Family is necessary too, but they need guidance
