>>123212
Well thank you then, I love garlic, though someone has recently suggested that I might be a vampire.
By any chance do you happen to live in ex-USSR? Might take your offer if I happen to live in a driving distance

>>123213
>By any chance do you happen to live in ex-USSR?

no, many thousands of km west. also it was merely symbolic garlic because currently i don't even grow any since all i have is a tiny balcony. next time i move though i hope to have some more space to plant and then i grow garlic again and then i grow the strong pungent varieties that they don't sell in the supermarket and then when i have a completely raw phase again i make sauces with the pungent garlic and insult everyone who doesn't eat raw plants; i shake my fist at them and call their cooked food 'burned' just to express my contempt 😂

>>114014
I never did and I'm doing alright. I just dress nice and honestly at this point whenever I put makeup on it looks wrong to me, even when someone else who's good at it does it. Does save me a lot of money looking at my makeup wearing friends and family, and it hasn't prevented me from being respected by peers or finding a loving partner. If you wanna wear it and it's just for yourself go for it, but you'll be fine without it too.

look at the men around you and determine which ones you find attractive. if the amount of unattractive men highly preceeds the amount of attractive men, it could just be your environment. you could always try approaching them first but if you're in a region where courtesy is still expected, its likely the men you find attractive simply do not reciprocate your interest.

>>113757
The reason that only unattractive guys call you attractive is because you're unattractive. If you were attractive, you would get the attention you so desperately want from Chads (getting pumped and dumped). You're for the fucking streets bitch.

so the heat is making you split on me and j today huh.

I have to pretend you're dead, mama. I love you so much. But all you do is hurt me. Even now, you don't consider that. You just see protecting myself from you as getting back at you. It's easier to love someone who is dead than to be angry at someone who is alive and refuses to do better. Why do you have to make me defend myself? I never wanted this.

i don’t say anything anymore and you’ll never stop. you’re terrifying and you need to be sentenced to the kind of court ordered institutionalization where you can be kept permanently until a doctor says otherwise.

i finally had a dream about you where you didn’t try to hurt me or ignore me when confronted or lure me away to have sex with you while everyone tried to stop you or bring me somewhere and abandon me in a place i got hurt.

you just showed me a song and sang along with certain parts and wanted me to understand you. when you stood up because lunch was over i stayed behind. and then i had the dream i was begging to have about my cat visiting me.

It was your 25th birthday last week and it somehow wasn't the first thing I thought of when I woke up. There are no butterflies and there is no pain, just the idea of you.

I'm starting to suspect you no longer live here, you may even be set for marriage now. The most painful thing any ex could do is not allow me to monitor them, so thanks for the final stab in the chest after years of stringing me through the dirt.

The day after your birthday I saw your friend. I kept track of him too, and several of the people who used to surround you but you wouldn't let me meet. He was with his wife and a child, living the life you wouldn't let yourself lead with someone he truly loves. I have accepted you could never love me and that's fine now, I've found someone who matches me far better and even if not for that I have learned to love myself despite anyone else's input. But of course I still care about you as a person, and I know you perhaps better than anyone else. I remember every intimate detail you shared and I know who you truly are inside.

A few weeks ago I attended a concert opened by a band including one of the girls you liked. I've been tracking her too, both because of you and because she knew another friend who was an unfortunate recipient of my interest (we won't get into that here and now). It's been fun to watch her blossom, I know you've seen it too and I'm sure you long to stand beside her as her boyfriend does on stage.

While we're at it, my old boss, the one you liked but were too cowardly to pursue, is a mother now. Another member of our convoluted social network, I know she was a childhood friend of the woman you dated before me. They're both in happily committed relationships now, I wonder if you know and how that feels for you?

You have lived your whole life letting things happen to you, drifting around like a jellyfish in the open sea. Your passivity is your greatest flaw even if it's part of what drew me to you. Each day you wake up and betray yourself after a lifetime of watching your own mother do the same. I mourn for you and I mourn for your future family because you will never be happy.

Today I stumbled upon an account of yours created 9 years ago. I read through it and felt numb. It was bittersweet, I knew my self from half a decade ago would be over the moon to have this on you. She revelled in the information as much as she did the power of knowing it. The worst part of this was conPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I am nothing. My whole life is built around a façade of normality but when I sit in my house after a long day at work I just feel tired and empty. There are a lot of days where I just sit and cry because I have no idea who I am or what I'm doing. I never have. I find pretending exhausting, by the end of my work I'm so drained that I can't even stomach doing anything.

Once upon a time I clung to 'sister' as my personality. It was the one thing in my life that made me feel normal, happy, even loved. Like everything else in my life I just couldn't hold onto it and that too fell apart. My brother hates me, my grandparents and mother don't reach out anymore. I have no friends, I never have, I don't think I even know how. One way or another I either push people away or make them hate me.

All I do is fill my days with meaningless impermanent pastimes until I'm tired enough to go to sleep as I march towards my last day. I can only hope that if there is an afterlife it's much better than this one.

I've never not felt like myself. I couldn't imagine being a disingenuous bitch my whole life. I mean what I say and say what I mean. I don't attract fake people either, I only surround myself with real ones.

>>123281
I could've written this, I really don't know what I'm living for.

>>123281
Personality and identity spiral down infinitely you will never catch them when looking. The trick is to not fall into routine and take notes of what you enjoy and dislike. Over time you will build a basic personality description ANY preferences at all count for this not just the big stuff. Stuff like “kind”, “smart” and "jealous" are only reliable when observed by others. If you don't experience joy at all that's a whole medical thing.

>>123281

>I have no friends, I never have, I don't think I even know how.

it's might be more difficult as an adult because of political and ideological differences but don't let that stop you. adults can still make friends.

in the context of contemporary culture: the reason you want friends (because you are trapped in an awful life) is the reason everyone wants friends. most people consider themselves broken in some way and hope others to fix them and it never works. the way to make people want to be friends with you is to be complete in yourself and then you have an aura that people can sense. this aura manifests in little details that are hard to fake (because whoever understood them would prefer to be real over being fake).

tldr instead of hoping to find friends that give meaning to your life, the way to have friends is to complete yourself and endure the hordes of people who refuse to complete themselves and then hope for you to fix them. you become the thing you wish you had for other people and you will have what people call friends these days.

>>121915
Your individual actions aren’t relevant to the discussion of collective societal actions you self obsessed fool

>>121923
I mean use your brain for 1 second. If society doesn't agree on an ideal body type for men, why are male models required to be skinny or fit? Why are characters meant to portray attractive men in shows and movies often slim, fit and tall? If you look at any female centric media youll see that the moids there are conventionally attractive, not fat pigs. You can look up various studies that shows women's prefefence for lean muscular men but perhaps you'd nitpick those studies as well.

>>121744
I see more fat women with regular size men than vice versa. I almost always see fat guys with fat women.

the way people treat each other is completely unnecessarily awful

>>122039

women are biologically fat. they're supposed to have more fat than men, usually for child-rearing reasons like fat deposition in breasts and rears, metabolism being slower, energy more likely to be stored as fat, etc. - hence why the comparison between fat men vs fat women in your case is slightly biased. i feel like most women should know this by now, its always been a topic of discussion in the fitness community.

yes, the reason you see more "fat women with regular sized men" is because they're supposed to be fat. even if they weighed the same kg/lbs as men, the woman would have more fat & the man would have the most muscles. unless its a super skinny man vs a mid-sized woman, which wasn't at all what you described. i also feel like people of both genders put a bigger emphasis on determining a woman's weight than a man's. people are always so much concerned about a woman's measurements. maybe its a psychological bias paired with biology.

>>123267
>Consider beating him up when he does it

Homelessness and/or jail speedrun LMAO

>>123278
so you think it is better to be a punching bag fidget toy for a drunk retard who throws his life away because you worry he might call the police on his daughter. well that's you throwing your life away. how nice of you to follow the family tradition.

i didn't beat up my parents and i regret it.

>>123224
if we are all alone why are we all pretending to be fine irl
for all we know we could all be in the same bozt out there and not connecting because we have to appear a certain way…
I'd like to join a community to but the "normie book club" is real… I'd like to find like minded too… I know a girl friend on instagram who reads great books, tried to befriend her on that note but it doesn't seem to work oh well…
>>123279
material conditions of existence…

>>123224
Right now you are trying to do everything at once. Make a priority list and work on each topic individually until you get in a spot you feel ok. Then do the next thing on the list and so on. That doesn't mean that you have to stick to the list autistically and ignore low priority items that happen do plob up from time to time like a job prospect because you are still working on high priority stuff

>>123294
>why are we all pretending
>we

all kind of words are banned or considered dangerous but i don't think any are as dangerous as the unspecified, unverified group pronoun. instead of just lazily and unskillfully resorting to this universal peer pressure word, why not say exactly who you believe you are talking for and explain the democratic process that hopefully preceeds your representation of these people?

nobody wants to talk about it. representation simply doesn't work. it has been a mistake. why even have a pronoun in which one person pretends to speak for others? the fucking word should be illegal, there is so little democracy you may as well call it a royal pronoun, the pronoun of those psychopaths who believe they can speak for others.

bitch what you should be worried about is whether YOU are pretending or not and stop sympathizing with this group ideology in which the group makes the decision for you and you are nothing but a dead fish being carried by the swarm agentlessly, not caring in which direction you are moved.

>>123307
>Make a priority list and work on each topic individually until you get in a spot you feel ok

this. try to make progress every day and don't flee into fiction. don't watch stupid videos while your life needs your concentrated effort. stay in this reality, reject the hypnosis of the good looking fake world from the dirty parts of the internet.

>>123286
>In no particular order the following occurs: love bombing, ghosting, mirroring, hot/cold method.
holy shit, youre right. oh well, i just use men for money ive given up on love kek

>>123288
I cant bring myself to do this cus I imagine they'll be even more angrier than normal if you dont give them what they want asap

>>123289
some men associate their ability to provide so closely with their masculinity that they'll be overtly generous just from receiving non-sexual female attention. at least this is how my last relationship went down. though he did admit he got sexually aroused from sending me money. but love? unless a guy has been properly vetted just assume hes subhuman trash who doesnt deserve love.
i know some women who are in happy marriages/relationships where they barely have any complaints and whats funny is that they arent top tier stacies either, one of them is fat

capitalism has commodified everything.
Generally society tends to improve itself… If you look for a relentless force that eats everything with no stoppage, there is only capitalism. Emotion and being are not subjects of philosophies anymore, it's a commodity for self care books and online formations.
Sex is no more the creative bond of two beings, original and emergent of the specifics of the people involved, it's a consumer media through porn, and a way to obtain social status and dopamine…
Everything is atomized and packaged into boxes of premade meaning, no place for art, singularity, subversion in a discourse commanded by box-making algorithms…

Death of the specific and alive. Except if you join the little isslaand of "anarchists", people who are worthless in the productive society, and live as vacationers, their own. Diogenes might have been too idealistic and ascetic, but he is very close to authenticity. We might look into his followers, Crates, Hipparchia, the fart man metrocles, etc…

>>123301
you are as sociopathic as the chads you are jealous of so much, except you're too developmentally retarded to be useful to anyone as a bf. your only use is being a potential submissive boytoy to a top nona to be played with and dumped.

Pros
>I know that he loves me. Very physically and verbally affectionate.
>Good-looking (to me, at least). My ideal type physically- pale and skinny but still larger than me. A haunted look in his eyes reminiscent of a working-class Victorian child.
>Many cute personality traits, such as being soft spoken and someone who doesn’t get angry easily.
>Service-oriented and enjoys cooking for me, cleaning up, and helping me out when he can.
>Responsible and takes care of his health and hygiene. Doesn’t do drugs and isn’t reckless with money.
>Values loyalty and commitment, even more than I do. Feels very strongly about these two things.
>Similar interests to me. We also both dislike similar types of things like meeting new people and sports and things like that.
>Good relationship with his family. He loves them but also has a healthy amount of distance and independence

Cons
>Doesn’t like the same books, movies, or music that I do, which is okay except that he didn’t make an effort to understand why I like those things
>Doesn’t dress well
>Doesn’t seem interested in understanding me if we had differences in taste or opinion
>Honestly I didn’t feel like I was learning much from him for my own personal growth or development
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>>123103
But that'd make him a keeper. An ideal bf would be truly progressive in every stance, which would include caring for women's rights, which would be you. All troon panderers are misogynists.

>>105826
bitch no it's not
you have a simplified view of autism & you don't know people for shit

pros
>autistic
>good-natured and trustworthy
>irl vampire
>smart and well-read, doesn't think he's better than anyone for it
>patient, gentle, supportive, sweet and affectionate
>will seriously do anything for me
>s tier cooking
>s tier sex
>great listener
>schizo and racist
>creative, will draw, sing and write cute things for me

cons
>didn't see anything wrong in having a female friend who he'd voicechat for 6 hours straight
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>>123302
>racist
>good
Excuse me?

>>123113
Hey Nona,
How’s it going? I hope you're having a good day.

I don’t interact with them at all, but they keep talking about me. I’ve tried to stop checking, but yesterday I opened it, and it gave me this weird feeling in my stomach like a mix of nausea and anxiety. With all the AI stuff being used now, I keep worrying about the possibility of them making deepfakes or something. What scares me the most is that it could affect my future. It makes me cry sometimes, thinking they have access to a picture of me when I never wanted it to go that way.
I’m really scared, and I feel like I’m losing control of it.

^-^ Sorry nonas I forgot to mention ^^^ above two replies by the OP
I hope you have a great day.

>>123114
>The need for validation comes from wanting to feel content and validated.

"The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy"

>>123115

the use of unconsentual technology is out of control these days. it is awful, it makes me want to become an amish just to be away from technology. technology is no longer a friend, it is the tool of oppressors to enslave everyone.

the more i see what they do with the technology the more depressed i become.

i eat at a cafeteria sometimes and every so often some spy bitch is walking around just taking pictures of the hundreds of people eating there. constant surveilance against the humans. maybe time to admit that the people like myself who have been warning of this for many years were not crazy conspiracy theorists? my way of dealing with this is to try to stay away from places where there are many people and just avoid people who use smartphones. if you use a normal smartphone, i don't really consider you part of my species at this point, you are the hostile cattle of the technological invasion.

autism and ADHD are trashcan diagnoses nowadays that house people with other developmental, psychological and psychiatric issues
you sound like cptsd adjacent type of gal (not bullied, but never made feel welcome so you don't know how it happens)
if you were given a favorable social environment you probably would do much better
(correct me if you feel I'm wrong, this is only an opinion from someone who also missed all the milestones but made up later in life)

I'm almost the same as you, but the problem is that i just cant improve. I just stare at myself and cry about how ugly i am. HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS

>>123299
sorry that this might sound cliche but it doesn't get better until you really put effort into it. i started a calorie deficit for weigh loss, very strict with it, same with my skincare, doesn't matter if im falling apart i just do it because i don't want to be back to being ugly. i had hyperpigmentation in my elbows, armpits and inner thighs, got better with glycolic acid, for hair idk what you prefer or what your texture is but i get mine permanently straightened every 3~4 months, kept my natural color and let it grew. it takes a ton shit of time and effort so its discouraging but you have to force yourself