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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous Admin 49939[Reply]

Do not make threads about the following topics or you will be banned:


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Use the catalog.



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Anonymous 121097[Reply]

Nonas is it awkward to date a guy who is 10 years your junior?

Anonymous 121098

>>121097
It's based, actually. Here's to hoping he doesn't get ugly after he hits the wall at 25.

Anonymous 121099

pretty based tbh

Anonymous 121100

how old are you nona



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Help (?) Anonymous 121056[Reply]

Nonas, I don't know how to really tackle this topic but I feel I need people to judge me and comment on my situation. I'm really not the brightest person around. I'm in my mid 20s and I still act like a 14 year old most of the time (I'm trying to work on that despite my mental illnesses which still, I'm self aware enough that I'm using it as a crutch to justify my problems when I'm perfectly aware I can work on them).

I dated someone for four years (he was my first partner ever), everything started great but eventually after the second year he became really abusive and I stuck around despite that with the whole retarded mentality of "I can make it work maybe, I can fix him, maybe I'm the problem (corny garbage in that same vein in general)." Eventually I managed to finally snap out of it and broke up with him. I am still hurt by that break-up and it still causes me a lot of emotional distress. However recently I just find gravitating myself towards people that are similar to my ex and I just keep getting hurt over and over again. I don't even know how end up across these people, I've been trying to isolate myself more and more and yet.

Is there any way I can start tackling this issue to stop with it? I want to work on this. I'm tired of dating abusive retards and yet somehow subconsciously I do end up seeking them out. Feel free to call me retarded or whatever, I need any sort of external judgement at this point.

Anonymous 121057

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I dont know what you’re talking about but good luck with it :D

Anonymous 121078

>>121064
Its not just childish media, I do like acting out for attention sometimes. Sometimes I like to fish for attention by being overly-cutesy with people.
Either way I have no idea how to socialize properly. I relied on my ex and the other failed relationship I had to meet people. Its really awkward and painful having to share a friend group with those idiots, their friends are the only people I have. The only other human interaction I really have with my step-sister but she now works and I barely get to see her and do stuff with her. Before dating my ex I literally had 0 concept of a friend group which is certainly something.
My hobbies are kinda niche currently and dunno, do you just suggest I kind of just look through some pisscord or something?

Anonymous 121096

I don't know how to solve it but I know a girl with similar issues as you. She got married to a nice guy after a lifetime of being with crappy people. I don't know how she did it but I heard it was hard getting adjusted to. But I do think it's about recognizing your own patterns, behaviours, reactions, and making conscious decisions to do differently. Stay strong



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THERAPISTS ARE SHIT Anonymous 120688[Reply]

A lot of therapists are unbearable interpersonally. They learn how to manipulate people by choosing their words carefully when they're in school and completely lose the ability to communicate genuinely with other people.

For most people this isn't a problem, but as someone who knows a lot of therapists, it makes it harder to make friends with them. Out of roughly 20 therapists I regularly communicate with, only 2-3 are capable of communicating without using therapeutic techniques. If I say "I'm going on a date and I'm worried it'll go well and I'll have to make lifestyle changes" these people say "sounds like you're worried about what comes next". No fucking shit, dude. You're supposed to laugh with me about it and say "it'll probably be fine" or something

Most therapists are awful at their job. In this training I was in yesterday, the trainer told the group that asking questions in therapy does not help the client. You're just supposed to manipulate, sorry, motivate them into completing their goals by reflecting stuff they say back to them (but only the stuff you like). Mental health trainings are so funny. Everyone just talks about the most effective ways to manipulate people but if you use the word manipulation everyone will scold you.

Most therapists come from wealthy backgrounds, don't have addiction or trauma experiences, and had the resources growing up to learn coping mechanisms to help them live with their extreme neuroticism. I worked with a lady once, we were doing adolescent substance abuse group treatment, and she would get mad and basically ground the clients for misbehaving. Like she was their mother. She believed her role was to "get them in line". She was afraid of drugs after doing pot once.

Another dude i worked with told me this client was "externalizing" and upset because of his divorce. But the client was actually schizophrenic and actively psychotic, but the clinician believed he was "faking" his delusions "to mess with" him. One clinician stopped seeing a client because the client didn't bathe, even though the client was seeing them for depression for which one of the symptoms was not being able to take care of themselves.

Therapists are deeply self righteous individuals and most of them are crap. People usually see 3-4 therapists before they find one they connect with well and feel cared for by. Therapy can be very helpful to you if you are lucky or if you have the time to shop Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 120845

>>120688
I always thought therapy was for fucking losers

Anonymous 120846

>>120833
Yeah they all say the same shit to every response you give. You can almost see the real them for a split second but then they remember their training and say some fake shit to your face. Like you're too stupid to see what's happening. Thank God I never had to go to one of thoese reprobates

Anonymous 121043

I have never sought the assistance of a therapist. Something about paying someone to be… God knows what… never sat right with me. What would I be paying for? A friend? A mother? A lover? A corporate HR consultant? They boast a "professional" lexicon (infuriating once you realise that "professionalism" was invented to justify higher pay scales - it is a contrived language that gives managerial classes an air of superiority), yet claim no ownership of anything resembling a soul… THERAPISTS, the people who are meant to remedy maladies of the soul! I have suffered, I have been in positions (nay! am still in a position) wherein I have no one in whom I can confide my secret sufferings, but I will resort never to the corporate exercise that is "therapy." It cannot provide for me the same joie de vivre that one imbibes from great works of literature. The therapist cannot prod and challenge me in the same way that great writers have done, and still do, to this very day. At best, they will give me some exercises I can try, exercises which I have already read and practiced.

I think what irks me most about therapy is that people are so accepting of it. They think it is some silver bullet. "If only you went to therapy, things would be much better." Really? Leave aside your assumption that such magic bullets exist (or that they are necessarily better than mundane old grit and elbow grease), and focus on the fact that the biggest proponents for therapy are those who still attend therapy after years of going to therapy! These… morons (sorry, but they really are unthinking morons) mistake the anodyne for the cure. Week after week, they will pay hundreds of dollars to have a conversation with… themselves!

Why did I not think of this! It's such a brilliant business model: first you completely tear apart the traditional family model, i.e. you make child-rearing a choice (via the invention of contraception); then you begin telling people they have all this choice, and that ergo they have responsibility; then with this newfound responsibility, unsuspecting parents (with their unfortunate offspring) read books written by so-called experts that tell them to be everything and nothing for their children; then hearing that an expert's best opinion on child-rearing is to let the kid be, they let the kid be; then the kid is let be, and the kid has weaker ties to family and community, and this repeats untiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 121087

>>121043
>I could care less
Always bugged me. My "english" teacher in middleschool spewed this out nonstop, so one day I dared to correct her and explain the logic behind it. With blank face she replied
>It's "I could care less"
People are stupid, and stupid people are too stupid to realize they're being stupid so they continue to propagate stupidity ad infinitum.

Psychologists are just a technology - a way to externalize the burdens of thinking and processing to someone else. Now if people are stupid then they're probably too stupid to glimpse into the stupidity of their therapist.

What is the cure to stupidity? It's worse than conscious evil, because then at least there's clear intention and can be anticipated and isn't forgiven after the fact, but we can't punish stupid people for being stupid, can we? Even though they bring en masse suffering to people with a braincell.

Anonymous 121095

>>121087
>but we can't punish stupid people for being stupid, can we?
I believe they're punished daily, no? Gambling is a tax for the mathematically illiterate. Other morons will buy garbage food, at exorbitant prices, that makes their bodies fatter, their minds tirederererer (more fatigued is the correct comparative, I think, but I'm tirederererer myself), and their wallets lighter; if they rubbed some neurons together, they would put something nutritious into their bodies (e.g. a banana, although your average man is too scared bananas might turn them gay and their wives straight) and spend twenty (2-wenty) minutes not plonked in front of the idiot box (i.e. a box for idiots, not a box that is an idiot) to afford them the time to cook something. Stupidity yields negative returns, and we're about three (3) generations deep, with zoomers almost completing the fourth (4th) generation of no-brained dimwits that are driving the world to unforeseen lows (a devastating turn of events, especially after the great heights [h8s] that were the nineteenth [9, 12.7182818…th] century [100ury] AD [80]). Morons punish themselves, so it's probably "immoral" to punish them twice (2ice) as an agent with free-will. You kinda just need to manipulate them for personal gain, but haters will call this "anti-social behaviour."
But who am I to judge? I made stirfry last night, and I burnt it because I got cocky and thought I could peel the carrot and chop the pak choy faster than the onions would fry to a nice respectable brown. I was punished for my stupidity with burnt onion.



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Anonymous 120904[Reply]

>logs in
>e-bf "logs out" as soon as I send him a good morning text
This relationship is over, isn't it? He's probably talking to some other girl already.

Anonymous 120905

>>120904
>e-bf
Stopped reading right there

Anonymous 120906

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Anonymous 120907

>>120906
Thank you, I'll save this
>>120905
I know my life is pathetic

Anonymous 121091

>>120904
You aren't losing anything. Let him be that way. Stop caring about fake pixels on the screen.



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Anonymous 121044[Reply]

>meet boy on reddit
>funny boy, finds me funny
>somehow in 10 days' time we are exchanging nudes and talking about getting married
>i want out

what do. i feel like such a whore.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 121047

>exchanging nudes in 10 days

Have you never heard of the rule of 3s?

Anonymous 121048

>>121047
i don't know why i went along with it. every time it was "hm ii went this far it's ok if i do more". i ama such a retard. what do i do.

Anonymous 121049

IMG_0895.jpeg

>>121048
It's a lose-lose situation. Either you have to live with some random moid having pictures of you nude, like becky in picrel, or you have to marry him, which you've said you don't want to.

Anonymous 121052

>>121044
Just stop agreeing to send your nudes. Make it a rule for yourself.
Talked to several moids when they're horny and I always tell them the spiel of "Oh I'm sorry but I don't really feel comfortable with sharing intimate pictures online :( I hope it's ok" and even so they still send me theirs no problem. A few might beg a little but if you remain firm with your decision they'll eventually give up asking. However the only way for this to work is for them to fully believe you're a woman, and if you did a good job at sweetening him up with your previous messages the easier it will be for you.

This has worked especially well so far on 2 moids for me. One of them I kinda miss, he was really cute, had a nice dick and knew how to send spicy messages. But he got a girlfriend so that was the end of that. And if the moid you're messaging says something like "Do you not trust me? I thought we were close" when you tell him you won't share nudes then maybe let him go because that's a manipulator trying to guilt-trip you. Never forget that being wary and exercising privacy measures online is your right so don't feel bad about it.
And no offense but how the fuck do you start having marriage talks with someone at 10 days of knowing them??

Anonymous 121090

Screenshot 2025-04…

>meet boy on reddit
>boy on reddit
>reddit
Well that's your first problem..

Cut your losses. You have put yourself in a monkey trap situation, and the longer you hold on, the harder it will be to get out. You have a lot of losses to cut, so take a breath, have a drink, and start planning.



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Vent Thread Anonymous 120288[Reply]

Previous thread >>117577
94 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 121059

>>120985
>but I've been friends with them for so long
That's a tricky justification to get past but if you're miserable with them and they have little to no respect for you then you don't owe them anything.

Anonymous 121060

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I feel so bad for everyone around me. To my roommate for being disorganised and messy. For my friends at our organisation who put trust me with responsibilities just for me to fuck up. To my parents who believe me to be intelligent and do well in uni. I wish people would see me as the idiot at first glance so i wouldn't end up hurting them by dissapointing them.
I don't believe they're even asking that much of me to begin with. I'm just a massive idiot so normal things are hard for me.
I feel like cutting again but i don't honestly want to be hurt. I just wish to be forgiven and to be treated realistically in respect of my lack of disclipine and intellect

Anonymous 121066

i think i spiral without male attention. why do i want it so bad.

Anonymous 121073

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My grandpa's funeral is tomorrow and all my cousins are in town. I saw them Sunday and yesterday and it was exhausting. They're all also super fit and/or skinny and I'm 15 lbs overweight even though I do yoga every day. Also I never really felt close to my grandpa. I have really mixed feelings towards him. He would criticize me a lot and I never felt comfortable around him. And he was just a cranky mean man and borderline abusive to my grandma. But he gave me like $4000 when I turned 18 and then another $1000 when he died. So that was nice of him. idk what to say or feel. It's nice that my fiance is coming with me but I feel bad putting him through this. I would hate having to go to his grandpa's funeral but of course I would go to support him and his family. It's all just exhausting and I can't wait until I'm in the car driving away from the memorial tomorrow.

Anonymous 121089

>>121073
>I'm 15 lbs overweight
That's literally nothing, stop trying to find ways to hate yourself.



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I feel like socially inept women just suffer more than socially inept men. Anonymous 109789[Reply]

Men are far more satisfied with self-focused and solitary lives. Being unable to socialize hits a woman much harder because we're more socially driven. Yet men get a loneliness epidemic and we don't. Why? Do we not vocalize how we feel enough? What's the board's thoughts?
88 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 121076

>>120997
>They are more willing to be alone
Which is why their "loneliness epidemic" (AKA their cries for attention because trannies became the new attention magnets) is complete nonsense since men CHOOSE to be alone. No one is forcing them.

Anonymous 121077

>>110540
>society fucking hates women
Nowhere is this better exemplified than with black women. A white woman pipes up and people will just bitch about her for having an opinion, but black women don't even exist especially compared to the woes of black men.

Anonymous 121085

>>113706
Men have a laziness epidemic and they choose to have less friends, this isn't women's problem and men don't deserve our sympathy over their choices.

Anonymous 121086

>>113725
>women
*trannies and black guys

Anonymous 121088

>>116512
Life has taught me that humans were not meant to be together for long periods of time.



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tryharded life but failed maybe Anonymous 120115[Reply]

>be me, young girl
>not really sure what i want to do in life
>figure that if i work hard in school i can get a good job, make money, and raise a family
>do that
>date a guy my age for 6 years, doesn't work out
>ok
>start dating a new guy my age, i love him but he's kinda broke
>graduate with a STEM degree, 4.0 GPA
>no jobs hiring STEM undergrads, want higher degree/experience
>ok
>start grad school as a PhD student
>doing a good job
>exhausted from working on my thesis every day
>paid crumbs, live in shitty apartment
>realize i'm 25
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
32 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 120948

>>120947
I'm going to continue on why you should finish school first
so my mom was in school when she met my dad they dated for a year then married. my mom was almost finished with grad school for food engineering when she got pregnant with me but she decided to quit last minute to be a SAHM. she has 2 kids at ages 30 and 33. 12 years later, she divorced my dad. due to the economy she cant even get hired for a MINIMUM WAGE job. she is a NEET single mother and if she didn't make ME pay her rent we would all be homeless.
if she had more job experience and finished her school maybe she couldve gotten a better job and not be limited to minimum wage jobs which are all being taken up by 20 yr olds in college with more job experience than shes had her whole life!

Anonymous 121079

>>120140
It's just depressing seeing someone so capable throw away all of their potential just to play around at home. You can't even pretend this isn't the case because it's not even lime you have kids yet plus you act like raising a kid is something you need a SAHM for but plenty of families, POOR families, make do just fine with 2 working parents even if one is just part time.
>I made a choice and it isn’t a mistake…
>It’s the best case scenario for myself.
Honestly this just comes off as you trying to convince yourself since a part of you still isn't sure that you made the right choice.

Anonymous 121082

>>120143
>He makes maybe 40k/year
That's pretty good…for an entry level job supporting only one person. Yeah…may want to drop an ultimatum on him and tell him to get a real job or it's over. Some guys need that push to make the most of themselves.

Anonymous 121083

>>120696
>leave man
>find perfect new man less than a month later
>he was already so into you and is perfect in every way
I hate to say someone is loose and probably a fairweather gf who enjoys meeting guys but can't commit in the long term as she finds reasons to break up whether there are any or not, but if the glove fits. You come off as every moid's caricature of a woman.
>Obviously it's the honeymoon phase
And when it passes you'll be right back here singing the same song you were about the last one. sigh

Anonymous 121084

>>120948
It's criminal how there isn't some kind of passive income or resume bump for women who were forced to be a SAHM but are now single.



IMG_5460.jpeg

Unsent Letter Thread Anonymous 115657[Reply]

Previous Thread >>2119
141 posts and 12 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 120978

you look like a_likerocky but older fatter and balder

Anonymous 121042

I wonder if you ever get tired of keeping up with your lies? I can’t believe I ever believed a word out of your mouth. You’re such an awful person. Thanks for wasting almost two years of my life.

Anonymous 121045

you fucking suck and i still don't know what he saw in you that he did not in me. you are pathetic. you are horrible. you hurt her soo badly but in the end you always win. i'm sick of you always getting your way. he texted me yesterday and i'm having a LOT of fun ignoring him. i hope he realises what the fuck he lost chasing after a disgusting lice-having bitch like you. i am SO happy he's suffering. i hope you do too. piece of shit.

Anonymous 121054

you seeing yourself in chapel roan is like a maggot seeing itself in a viper.

Anonymous 121080

Get over yourself. Stop telling lies. You cheated. Multiple times.



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