>>131166
Aww, good luck with your baby nona.

>>131169
think birth is funny? irreverent bitch

>>131082
Guess what you think it is

>>131172
idk… are things going okay in your life? do you think things are about to fall apart?

>>131167
thank you nona

>>131184
If my words have brought you any comfort, I'm glad. There's no need to believe me you only need to look inside and you'll know. I struggle with my own darkness as well. You aren't alone

>>131180
be gentle with yourself, think about how you would treat a friend going through what you have gone through

>>131174
get on trazodone

>>131188
I am on fluoxetine rn

though trazodone is an off label sleed aid apparently, mite b good

I wish i had ghosted all the friends i had then and believed more in myself, i wish i had spent more time with my grandparents.

>>131176
why do you wish you ghosted your friends at the time?

wish I had gone out more. I hung around my dorm or went home on weekends. there were events around campus and town literally every weekend. oh well.

>>131178
Back then i allowed my loneliness get to me and i started hanging out with people that i normally wouldn't. I became friends with people just because they liked me, not because i liked them, at the same time i was too afraid to make friends with people that i actually liked.

fuck around on the pc, browse my phone, smoke pot, harass my cats. I do occasionally go out for walks at the park and I definitely plan on being more active in the summer

I'm a NEET and I currently larp like I'm attending a uni studying certain subjects. Meaning, I just study something on a schedule for 1.5 hours with breaks inbetween and sometimes I try to plan what I will do. So far it made me feel better because I accomplish something every day.
Really a lot of these "subjects" are just my hobbies, but structured. Structure improves everything A LOT, it's way easier to manage your existing activities and introduce changes into your life this way. Always having planned downtime is good too.
I'll see how long this lasts.

>What do you do all day?
eat, jog, smoke cigarettes, read books (no young adult or "dark romance" slop), draw pictures, I mostly just draw pictures. My whole life Ive been creating characters and stories with them nonstop, its that maladaptive daydreaming bullshit I guess. I draw my characters, when Im bored of it Ill make collages for my characters, and when that gets boring too Ill write about them, listen to music that reminds me of them, or just simply fantasize about their interactions and their world. My creaions are the only topic that I am truly invested in and if I could I only would ever talk about them, but thats autistic as fuck and I am self aware enough to know that most people dont give a fuck. Most conversations with others feel like a drag, I dont care about their lives or problems and Im just looking for an appropriate moment to talk about my art

Vidya
Scrolling
Art
More vidya
That is all

>>131062
what vidya?

Stop blaming me for being "selfish" and "overwhelming" when all I did was message you occasionally and tried to help when you threatened to kill yourself in my inbox. You're the one who preyed upon me when I was in a bad place, at a young age, yet I still chose to forgive you. But you're just so miserable you can't grasp that people can care about those who've hurt them. Honestly, I think both of us are pathetic.

Hi. I'm not sure if you know this, but when you view my tiktok profile I get a notification of it. I don't think about you at all, but still get triggered seeing your name, and seeing your name checking on me scares me. After all I've done and subjected you to, you still checkup on me. I appreciate it, because it makes me feel cared for, and I want to let you know I care for you to. Nobody's perfect, I fall into the same loop I've fallen into so many times, even this much later. I still sometimes think you were the one, the only one. But then I think, Im probably just having a depressive episode and am extremely horny.I miss talking to you and I hope you stay safe in this political climate. Thanks. Bye.

>>129925
if this is who I think it is. can you give me some kind of hint so I can know its you?

>>129929
🐝 safe over summer break!

I miss you, J. Guys my age fucking suck.

I miss how gentle and kind you were with me. I miss going through your record collection together. You never lied to me or insulted me, you were always loving.

I miss the love we shared. Since we last talked, I got my heart broken again. I think punishment for running away from you.

I keep listening to Tomorrow Is a Long Time by Bob Dylan. It’s comforting me, which makes me feel a bit better because I know it’s a song that comforts you too.

Love you always,

Your Birdy

Found something interesting and highly relevant to me while researching. It is the Ego Dissolution Scale
>Ego dissolution scale (EDS) The 10-item EDS is a self-report questionnaire quantifying trait-like propensities towards self-loss experiences (Sleight et al., 2023).
The items include some things like odd body experiences, sense of unity with the universe, etc. I honestly can't find a specific list at this point but it seems to be strongly associated with depersonalization/dissociation.

You see, my villain backstory (one which was deleted here) is that at 8 yrs old I survived a delirium during childhood, one where my body temperature reached 40C (104F) degrees Fahrenheit. I didn't think of it much at the time. But looking back, my mom lamented a lot how she felt like I was stolen and replaced. Even my sister confirmed it, 15 years later. It feels like everyone hid the truth all this time and acted like nothing changed. But I think it may actually finally explain why I was so odd.

There's some research, though scarce, on pediatric delirium/febrile encephalopathy and its effects. I think I only saw this one yet about another 8 yrs old patient: https://www.psychiatrist.com/pcc/assessment-and-management-of-delirium-in-pediatric-patients/

>Two days later, he was extubated. However, his parents noted that he was now anxious and was not acting like he usually did. When he awakened, he needed to be reminded that he was in the hospital.
But I'll need to see more.

Ohhhh my god I saw a drawing that I made 7 years ago
I remember hating it so much
>>>/meta/1539

That's actually fucked up

Also I hated that drawing so much I would not visit CC for the next like 4-6 years

Also this
>As long as you don't break any of the rules, you're good to go.
Turned out to be a lie, kek

At least these days

Think making one of those animation channels about my lyfe would be pretty epic like Jaiden

>>130897
That's what you get for picking moids with shitty genes. Do you go for moids with autism, too? Would probably more matched for a shotafucker because spergs have the mentality of a child.

I'm a little tired of repeating myself, but I really want to clarify (once more) that I don't want anything to happen between me and him.
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW DO I MAKE THESE FEELINGS GO AWAY INSTEAD OF FIGHTING EACHOTHER?!

>>130912

Make a FODA listing all the reasons of why it would not work.

Emotionality is a reaction. React to the reasons it would not work.
Eventually you will start to feel the other way, disgust perhaps even.

Do not force feelings of disgust.

If possible, try to make the disgust for the idea of dating that man natural.

Men know when women like them and treat them better, if not, they use it to treat them badly to feel better.

Do not feel bad for men, if you do, you just will make yourself miserable. Adam was in charge, not eve. Men are not worth your energy.

Most men.

>>131020
>>131020
You're right, noona. I have been thinking of this for the past three months and you have put into words a feeling I was never able to express. Thank you.

>>131027

I am glad you can finally put your thoughts based on your sentimentalism, it is very hard to do so sometimes.

If you can, see about father-daughter relationships.

Older men, if they can see you as a "girl" or "daughter", if they are mature enough they will treat you more as a father figure and authority rather than "flirty" as most old men treat women.

Good men will treat you like a daughter if you treat them like you would treat your father if he was in their place.

That at least, has always worked for me. Old men always compare me to their own offspring, in some sort of way, if I treat them like that. Not in a flirty way.

I hope you can sort this out, have faith in your capacities nona xoxo

>>131064
I can't blame you for not wanting to say but realistically do you think anyone could immediately know who you are based on just your industry?

>>131070
I mean I don’t really know what else you want me to say. I work in an office for a company and spend my day sorting through emails and replying to stuff.

>>131075
Lol the CIA definitely has you on some list somewhere next to the Unabomber

>>131077
hit me up when leon kennedy is real and doesnt go bald like real moids and maybe then ill submit to a man

>>131083
Suggesting a book to a male is like suggesting a book to a gorilla but since you are so passionate about this clearly maybe you should read the feminist mystique and see how housewives in the 60s actually felt despite having “the american dream”