/x/ - /x/

It could be real but it feels more likely that there are just some negative entities out there rather than them all being evil. I highly doubt that only angels or only demons exist. Don't know about risking not going to the light when you die, I've read some stuff about how you could get trapped as a ghost and never escape if you do that which makes me nervous to try it

Neoplatonism >>>>>> gnosticism


Matter is actually good because the gods created it and are right here with us. Humans choose to be good or bad. Enjoy your stay.

I arrived to a similar conclusion and worldtheory by myself without having ever heard of gnosticism beforehand, so when I learned about its existence I was quite glad. I

>>11881
Something I've noticed is that most Gnostics these days (at least in the prison planet circles) have a habit of blaming their own poor living situations on God rather than looking around them. My boss is gonna fire me? Must be the demiurge, can't be that my boss chose to do that. I won't say this is the only or best place to be reincarnated into but I will say acting like there's only evil at work is a poor mentality to have. It doesn't help that many are depraved and have a habit of getting off to stuff like rape porn or are some flavor of bigot, you'd think they'd want to avoid contributing to the system that's apparently keeping all this going

It's baby's first step into enlightenment, I was also into Gnosticism but now I am Lutheran.

>>10089
>>8697
>>8704

happy 2026 crystal cafe, update to my posts above. i still believe in shifting and have been working my way to permashifting ie. shifting my awareness and never coming back to this reality. in the past 6 or so months since i've been truly practicing and affirming i've experienced many mini-shifts. for example, waking up in a reality where the person who i vividly remember messaging me the night before has changed. i'm confident, 2026 is the year i disappear forever.

>>11934
Are you familiar with Carlos Castaneda's books? I don't have a particularly high opinion about the author himself, i think he was a poor and insincere student, but i suspect his teacher might have had practical insights on reality shifting. I listened to most of those books in audio format and it was entertaining at least, but i feel reluctant to recommend them, several people went mad from those ideas and committed suicide.

I want to believe in it but most people say it's just sleep paralysis or lucid dreaming and I can't really disagree. There's a good chance it's just brains being brains

>>10089
I'd like to believe in reincarnation because I'm really scared by the idea of there being no afterlife but I struggle to find any concrete proof that science hasn't made me heavily doubt. I don't get how people believe in that stuff so firmly but I understand why they do. I'm also kinda scared by the idea of living for eternity

>>11936
i've never heard of him. tbh i've never given much thought to spiritual gurus outside of Neville Goddard. it seems like the books focus on esoteric secrets of the Yaqui people? i'll give them a shot.

>>11939
what i like is that there is no proof for or against it, and even if there was i wouldn't care. call it AP or lucid dreaming, i'm looking for the experience. idk why i, as an agnostic who shuns most forms of spirituality, believe so heavily in shifting. i've been deep in the shackles of manifestation/shifting for years, so i guess if you believe you believe. i also don't want to live forever. reincarnation seems like a worser hell, idk what my 2024 self was thinking.

>>11942
>secrets of the Yaqui people?
The guy who taught Castaneda supposedly was an old Yaqui indian and some sort of shaman, but it might as well be that he only manifested as such in the eyes of Castaneda. Supposedly, people who saw the old fellow at the same time could later disagree on what he actually looked like, they would describe different clothing, mannerisms, some would even say he was a young man.

4Chan moids are never ok lol

>>573
Could be potentially easier and cheaper by setting a controlled fire inside your car and locking everything, but dont do it

>>9856
>>6598
Back on this thread 3 years after my initial post. Relationship fell apart after 2 and a half years and I'm living alone in a city with not a single friend or support system. I'm doing uni and even started an antidepressant in hopes of improving my mood but I'm still suffering from the same issues, unable to perform most tasks, can't engage with hobbies and interests etc. I am not really alive, just here.

Suicide is such a beautiful dream to escape into. Dreaming about waking up dead, being hit by a car, dying of disease and finally having some physical manifestation of what's going on inside. I'm craving an end to pain. I'm not fully committed to the idea as I don't think I've hit rock bottom just yet. I still crave love and conncetion though it's extremely far out of reach. Do you guys feel like it was doomed from the start? When I recall my memories it seems there was always a veil of tragedy and quiet alienation over my life. I'm going to keep trying for now but I'm researching methods in the background for when I inevitably give up again.

>>11758
i recommend sasu forum. i hope you find the peace you are looking for.

every now and then I hear about a bunch of dumbasses die because they ran their car in a garage for warmth
makes me wonder is it really that easy to die sometimes

>>11778
>makes me wonder is it really that easy to die sometimes
Yeah it is. I lost my grandma because she got a fucking bug bite while on a vacation and contracted a rare strand of cancer from it. That could've been anyone, you, me, someone we know, literally anyone can die that way and it's horrifying. Makes me feel almost agoraphobic.

I wish I wasn't so scared of death and what happens after so I could just kill myself and get life over with. I feel existential lots of the time because it's likely there's nothing after death which just makes death and loss more difficult. I don't kill myself because I'm scared of everything just ending and also I'm scared of possible repercussions after death

>>11908
I also wouldn't trust men to tripsit, I've seen many men admit that raping someone who's on drugs is their fantasy

>>11876
I had one by accident, I got weed that was laced with it. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Literal hell dimension.

>>11926
Yeah I've heard lots of stories about people who feel like they visited the afterlife and how hellish trips make them never want to die

My theory based on stuff like near death experiences is that they have some underlying issues that causes their negative emotions to flare up and form into a realm/creatures but that's a complete conspiracy and I have no real proof for it honestly. Maybe it's a prison planet or it's just our brains being weird, who knows

>>11929
For me personally it felt very distinctly (don't ask me how I knew, I just did) that I was being trapped in a "punishment dimension" that was made out of every negative thing I ever did or thought or had happen to me, like a culmination of all the negative energy I ever encountered. I'm not spiritual in the slightest, I think it's interesting how drugs have very specific ways to interact with the human brain and I guess this is just what salvia does. I was trapped all alone in the universe knowing I would never have a human experience again like talking to friends or eating, I was fully isolated and removed from a physical body experience, and at the same time I could look around myself (not in the room I was in but drifting through a landscape) and everything was just covered with a thin veneer of normalcy but underneath I could see flesh pulsing. It was awful because I knew I was tripping and thought I had just smoked a normal joint, which wouldn't even get me super stoned usually, so I thought I had fried my brain the way you sometimes hear it with people who develop a weed psychosis or something. So I was 100% aware of what was going on and my only logical conclusion was that I was experiencing locked-in syndrome and wouldn't come out of it. I was visiting my mom at the time, and she woke up somehow and found me wheezing on the ground, when she found me it exacerbated my panic because I was convinced she would have to call an ambulance and they would put me away in a ward for people who broke their brains irreparably. If I had been alone maybe I would have killed myself from the hopelessness of it all.

>>11932
I think it's been proven psychedelics reduce brain activity (or possibly reroute it) so it's very possible you entered some weird realm of your thoughts. Then again some experiences are super random like people fighting with SoundCloud rappers or hallucinating bags of onions talking to them, some accurately produce near death experience results like tunnels, life reviews and seeing deceased loved ones

The funeral industry is exploitative and full of people using society's "don't talk about death" stigma to push Christian shit onto the dead even when they didn't follow that religion. I remember seeing a story of a taoist woman who was given a Catholic themed funeral, it's pretty clear this industry is full of some nasty behavior

>>11930
Relatives alone are responsible for carrying out the last will of the deceased. If relatives fail to do so, getting sent off according to local customs shouldn't come as surprise.

He is the type of guy that will hire impersonator just so people will talk about how he got killed and replaced by a double.

Not her but agree with >>11911
He is the kind to make up conspiracies about himself or do retarded shit just to attention whore

>>11909
I think the Jim Carrey nona has been MIA since 2024

>>11914
Couldn't blame her for being MIA. He seems like a psycho

>>11895
my parents yelled at me constantly everyday for every mistake for literal hours. like theyd stand in the doorway blocking it not letting me go anywhere and they would just yell and yell and yell and yell. it didn't matter what i said theyd just shout over my words because in those moments i didn't matter to them as a person i was just a convenient outlet for their anger. this could go on for so long that they would take breaks from yelling at me and slam my door really loudly and then come back 5-10 minutes later to continue yelling at me. ive had no control in those moments there was nothing i could do about their anger, being a really small child and all. by the time they were done screaming my face was always red from crying. i was also bullied heavily but thats a wound that i dont wanna reopen rn.

>>11896

how old were you then? how old are you now?

i don't believe you actually correlate any of these desires to love. i think you feel like you have to call these, or want to call these violent impulses 'love' to avoid seeing these impulses as what they obviously are: anger, isolation, alienation, and likely a very weak psyche.

it sounds like you don't think many people (if any) love you, including your parents - you probably don't interact with others enough to catch a glimpse of the spectrum of romance/sex/love or whatever - why the correlation to love?

>>11902
>how old were you then?
6-14
>how old are you now?
20s
>i think you feel like you have to call these, or want to call these violent impulses 'love' to avoid seeing these impulses as what they obviously are: anger, isolation, alienation, and likely a very weak psyche.
>why the correlation to love?
i know that those sadistic impulses stem from isolation and abuse and mental illness and whatnot, im not afraid to admit that because its a rather obvious conlusion, i just dont know what else to call them. like sometimes i will feel enamored by a person, i like thinking about them and having them on the backburner of my mind, i like how they look and i find them hot, but instead of wanting to make them happy all i think about is hurting them and i dont have any interest in doing anything else with them, when i stop having a crush on a person i stop wanting to hurt them. thats why i label those experiences as 'love', there just isn't any other catch-all term that describes the type of attachment that i feel

>>11907
NAYRT, but can you give us more insight into your crushes (since you mentioned you don't date)? are you usually friends with the people you've had crushes on? what about fictional/celebrity crushes?

>>11910
>are you usually friends with the people you've had crushes on?
not really. i kind of have a strange relationships with people in general, i dont usually like my friends as people and we talk exclusively about our shared hyperfixations (usually original characters or media) because i dont care about anything else. i talk to them as long as theyre willing to entertain my ideas and so in return i entertain theirs. its transactional to me. with crushes its different, theyre usually the type of person that id never be friends with because theyre usually not the artistic creative types and creating stuff is my only real interest
>what about fictional/celebrity crushes?
i dont get like that about celebs, usually because i dont find them interesting, but i sometimes have those crushes on fictional characters, tho not all of my attractions are fictional

I think I’m biased towards cynicism but I think it’s all over

I'm not sure how nonas find peace in eternal nothingness. I think only having a very shor amount of time to have a chance to experience love, pain, etc any emotion is in itself cruel and unfair. The fact that each person is unique and beautiful (except for 90% of moids) but will inevitably fade away never to be seen again and b e forgotten some day is terrible.

But at the same time i find it hard to believe we just become "nothing". We still don't fully know how sentience works and for all we know this life we have right now is not our sentience's first. Maybe we die and as universe re-births itself so does our sentience. We have a different physical body but the sentience remains. or maybe this is all incorrect…

That's why it's so terrifying, the fact that we don't know. We don't know why the unvierse exists, why the space works like it does. We don't know what it all came from, the planets, the galaxies, and where it will disappear and if it might remake itself. We are just that insignificant

>>10878
Long reply but I have many thoughts. I see both sides because every option scares me. Endless reincarnation fucks me up cuz just imagine all that could/would happen (being born in 3rd world countries in the middle of war, tortured with alien technology on a distant planet, maybe even eventually living the same life again, 1914729938029272 bad lifetimes in a row) or just generally having to live through everything ever imagined. Hell scares me cuz endless torture. Heaven scares me cuz you could be there for an astronomical amount of time and it won’t be any closer to ending and could become psychological torture (look up SCP-7179 if you wanna see more about that). You’re right that never existing again is horrifying as well and I don’t know if I believe something like enlightenment exists like in Eastern religion. I just feel constantly pessimistic, cynical, and nihilistic so maybe that’s why I’m not able to stick to any belief. If our existence is finite then nothing we do matters and will be forgotten if it’s infinite then it doesn’t matter if you were Hitler, an average person, or Junko Furuta because all your actions are finite and don’t even remotely mean anything to an existence that goes on forever though I guess that depends on if you believe in a dualistic or non dualistic religion. I agree it’s all very disorienting and religion doesn’t exactly give the deepest answer for why it is this way. I mean hey if reincarnation is real what will this lifetime matter after the universe dies and rebirths itself trillions of times over? I really don’t know how to get out of this mindset beyond just hoping more people understand it and trying to push it to the back of my head, existential dread is not fun

I’m very scared by the thought of eternity so I feel like it may be eternally torturous no matter what. Imagining going through anything for trillions to googolplexes to Graham’s Numbers of years and beyond and it just never getting a second closer to ending is deeply horrifying. The speech that starts at 1:18 in this video really speaks to me. In terms of what I think may actually happen though, I think death is likely the end because all evidence points us to consciousness being a neurological process but I wish we had evidence that it may not be. Near Death Experiences are interesting but honestly I don’t know if they’re real and they’re pretty inconsistent so even if they are real I don’t think they give any information about what comes after.

Current evidence points to the idea that everything ends but I'd like to believe otherwise, I'm scared by the idea of eternity though

I had a couple. I had a bad infection from a cat scratch on my neck as a kid that had me in the hospital for a while, and I got into a roll-over accident going 105mph. The air time I got felt like an eternity and it still plays in my head when I'm doing really bad

I tried to kill myself a little over a year ago by cutting my wrists. Definitely the closest I've come to dying. Very surreal experience.

>>3185
Not an NDE, but once at PE lesson just when I was about to be hit by the ball, time has literally slowed down for me and I deflected the ball. It was maybe 2 secs at most but for me it was like 5 seconds. Now I know it was an adrenaline burst or something like that.

I had a girl try to drown me when I was 8. She was up on a floaty and I was in the water. She would pull me up by my hair, laugh at me, and then push me back into the water and hold me there. I would thrash around and try very hard to get back to the surface and my brain was just on survival mode. I had no emotions or fear, as I was solely focused on breathing as much as possible when I was let up and attempting to break away. The intervals between her pulling me up and holding me down started getting longer and longer, and it felt like it was going on forever and I couldn't escape. Finally my mom came and ripped her off of me and chewed her the fuck out. It was so strange because minutes before the girl started drowning me, we were just playing games like tag and pretending to be mermaids. I don't know if she was retarded or a psychopath, but my mom always says that the girl had dead, empty eyes and was just staring at her unblinking as she was going off on her.

I had an ectopic pregnancy two years ago. I got pregnant two months after I had my son and I was freaking out. I found out while at the hospital for gallstones and pancreatitis. I immediately knew something was abnormal, because I had been spotting continuously, and I never did that with my son (I had ignored the spotting because I thought it was a weird period, since I had had a baby so recently). After I had gotten the gallstone removed from my bile duct, they sent an OBGYN to my room to talk to me. I mentioned the bleeding, and he said it was "implantation spotting". I asked him if he was sure, since it had been going on for a couple of weeks and was more like streaking than spotting, and he said it was fine (which is bullshit, and implantation spotting takes place way earlier than 8 weeks, which was where I was). Fast forward a few days later, I'm in the shower and have a dull, achy pain in my right pelvic region. It was uncomfortable, but not unbearable, but I knew that all the spotting plus one sided pain could mean an ectopic pregnancy. I rush to a different OBGYN, who does an ultrasound and sees no baby in my uterus, but instead in my fallopian tube. I am immediately rushed into surgery, and when I wake up the doctor is in my room, telling me I almost died as I had an insane amount of blood filling my pelvis. I at first was just relieved to be alive, but as time went on, I became very scared of being pregnant again. I was later told by the OBGYN that the pancreatitis had caused foPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Never had one but they may be real. I'm unsure but I'm open to consciousness being able to go beyond the brain or the idea of something like reincarnation. I fear the idea of eternity and I don't know if anything beyond materialism will ever be proven tbh