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Self destructive behaviors Anonymous 104557

Anyone here has a history of self destructive behaviors? How do you manage to keep them in check?

I've been doing good for a few months up until recently. I cut contact with my friends and boyfriend, began drinking heavily again and contemplating worse things.

Anonymous 104561

I've had this problem too though with less serious issues. It seems silly to compare but I had trouble with mental in competitive games on a semi-professional level so much so I ruined any chances of deteriorating my chances of playing professionally despite devoting thousands of hours into it. It feels like I would go on a manic spree and casually destroy all of my relationships and accounts. I solved this by trying to distance myself from the stimuli altogether and finding out what that is for you is key. Once you find your trigger you either have to learn to cope(proper word cope not internet meme!) or avoid it at all costs. Google healthy coping strategies and see which ones work for you and which ones don't. I am very confident that if you just explain what you are going through to your friends/bf they will help you or at the very least be supportive, please don't see this as the end but rather the beginning of a long and grueling cycle.

Anonymous 104563

Staying up till morning because I got distracted on the internet all night
Not eating at the proper times
Ignoring my friends' messages indefinitely with the idea that "I'll reply to them later" (idk if this counts as a "self-destructive behaviour" but you mentioned a similar thing, and it does make me feel intense guilt so it probably counts)

I signed up for swimming classes at 8AM a month ago, and since I like it, that helps because I'm doing exercise, therefore my body and mind are healthier, plus it's a strong motivator to go to sleep earlier and fix my sleep schedule. Also, I've been going to therapy every month or so, and it has helped me a lot (I think she does CBT).

Anonymous 104576

I have had a problem with concentration and talking to myself and laughing to myself frequently. But I'm psychotic and have ADHD.

Anonymous 104583

I don't think talking to yourself is a self-destructing behaviour though

Anonymous 104640

I don't know about the person you were replying to, but for me I talk to myself constantly (in my head, not out loud) and it is usually critical/cruel things that I direct toward myself. The more stressed I am the worse it gets. It can be anywhere from me asking myself "Are you kidding me? Why did you do that?" to "Oh my god you worthless bitch look what you have done again."

On top of that I do literally harm myself regularly, worse when I am stressed badly, but I am always in a state of stress somewhat. I bite my fingers, and unfortunately have recently picked up a new habit of biting tiny pieces of my tongue off, especially when I am asleep. I have been wondering for weeks why I keep waking up with sores on my tongue until I literally woke myself up in pain from doing it, and now it is happening all the time, even when I am awake. Also, when I disappoint someone or make them mad at me by mistake (like saying something insensitive on accident) it takes everything within my being to keep myself from slamming my head against something or biting my knuckles until they bleed. Sometimes I slip up and it happens, and then I get even more mad at myself for slipping up.

To OP, at least when it comes to literal self destructive behavior, like what I described above, I have to block everything out and focus on not hurting myself. It means shutting down entirely, breathing, and forcing myself to take a minute or so in silence. Usually if I can push past the first 30 seconds of the impulse, it will pass, and if not another minute will usually help. Trying to practice mindfulness and being self-aware is the only way I have been able to somewhat curb my self-destructive behavior, not just when it comes to self harm but also with intrusive thoughts and putting myself down.

No idea how to stop destructive anxious habits, though. Whenever I get a handle on one, another pops up and it's usually worse than the last. I suspect it might be some undiagnosed something or other but you'd have to drag me to a mental hospital to get me looked at by a doctor lol.

Anonymous 104643

Oh, ok, you're right. I forgot I do that, as well. Most of the time when I talk to myself, it's not just self-deprecation, it's long monologues about whatever and daydreaming out loud, but I insult myself a lot too.

It sounds like you need CBT. Have you gone to therapy?

Anonymous 104646

This, self-talk isn't inherently negative. If the little voice in your head is being a bitch you need learn how to shut it off entirely or be positive. Either one will be an improvement.

Anonymous 104844

Back in high school, I used to rub my eyebrows so much that they started having visible balding. I also rubbed my eyes so much that I must have looked like I have full-blown OCD.

I don't rub my eyebrows anymore, but still do the eye rubbing sometimes. I've managed to keep it in check by doing something I'm absorbed enough in, like schoolwork .

Anonymous 104857

I used to get stalked and had insane anxiety and ptsd. I was too depressed to hold a job it interfered with everything I did in life. It made me want to become a shut in. One day..I dont know when..i started Journaling as much as I could daily and just did my own damn therapy research. Presence work, subconcious work, meditation, etc. It did way more for me than going to a therapist ever did. I really had no idea Journaling could do that much for you. It saved my life.

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