/b/ - Random

>>105712
honestly same. I'm just rolling with it i guess

>>105712
Are you sure it's not just your low self esteem?
Shadowbanned from life, lol, what a fascinating sentence. I love it.

>wherever i go people look at me and interact with me like i’m rotting meat
What does this mean? D you mean people just don't like you and interact out of obligation?

>>105712
Yeah, kinda. When I was younger I got bullied and ostracized for a long time and to this day I still have no idea why. There wasn't anything super different about me and it was happening so much, so long, with so many unrelated people that it just seems way too coincidental. Always felt like there was something people could see that I couldn't.
At some point I got referred to psychs for an autism test bc my teachers thought I was weird but the result was that I don't fit the criteria to properly count as autist/aspie. Yet they did agree that something was off about me, so they pulled out some obscure diagnosis that I've never heard anybody talk about, before never talking about it again. They just slapped on the label and I didn't even fit most of the symptoms, plus there were a bunch of weird statements and mistruths in the report about me (which I wasn't even allowed to read, they literally wrote "not for anon!" on it and I found it accidentally). If I asked stuff about what I should do now that I have this diagnosis, like how could I get better, they'd be super dodgy and basically say "don't worry about it kid"
Nowadays it's kind of better since nobody actively harms me but I still just "don't connect" with people and I get this pervasive sense that people are treating me weird. I always feel like people talk differently to me, kind of slower and more uncomfortably, or they say things that seem inappropriate but everyone acts like it's normal (and it's usually from women which is weirder). I don't get why since I don't think I'm ugly, but I've never had a normal social life.

>>105722
it’s not interacting out of obligation it’s more like people are disgusted by me on a spiritual level. i’m not really insecure and i don’t have low self esteem i think i’m an okay person so that’s why i’m so confused by it

>>105725
Do you remember the diagnosis?? Also maybe it's ADHD. Not having enough dopamine can affect how you behave which in turn affects your social skills. I was thought of as weird and realizing it was undiagnosed ADHD has helped.

>>105728
How can you tell they're disgusted by you?

>>105728
Thinking people are disgusted with your very spirit, your soul, what is "you" outside of how you act or look, sounds exactly like low self esteem. It's possible you're in denial about it because you don't want to have low self esteem and are projecting it onto those around you so you don't have to deal with it.

Honestly it just seems like your low self esteem is making you see things that aren't there, maybe you're just not paying attention or noticing the people who do see you and treat you like a human being. That or mental illnesses?

>>105729
It was SPCD. To me it sounds like asperger's under another name, or another kind of autism-lite. The symptoms are stuff like "doesn't get sarcasm/irony/idioms" or "talks to every person the same way regardless of their status" which just don't apply to me and never have so I don't know why this was assigned to me. I remember some of the reasons they gave and they sound like bs honestly.
To be honest I don't know much about ADHD. Looking at a list of symptoms I can say that I'm not great with planning or focus and I procrastinated a lot, but also I don't really feel like it's a super major burden on my life? I might not be performing optimally but I could still pull together plans and get things done if I needed to; I did very well in school. But again, I'm not super informed about it so it could be worth looking into.

>>105735
>or "talks to every person the same way regardless of their status"
Are we not supposed to do that?

>shadowbanned from life
Yes
I can count the times I have received positive attention on one hand, but the times when I was treated badly or ignored pretty much define my life. I'm like the homeless people you pass by while thinking "ew, they should not exist".

>>105738
In the sense that you should speak differently to a 6 year old niece at her birthday party compared to a 40 year old policeman on the street, yeah. Basically recognizing how to adapt your speech based on stuff like sex, age, authority, context

>>105759
oh! lol, yeah I understand now, thanks

>>105784
Differently how?

>>105799
being a bit more polite and proper? I wouldn't talk to my boss the same as my fellow co-workers because one of them signs my checks and its not my colleagues.

>>105799
If this were Japanese I would give you distinct verb ending and formality clauses, as it's inbuilt to the language. English dropped our formality system when "thee/thou" fell out of favor, so now you can't easily modify word structure. Most formality now is more based on tone, and word choice. Easiest example I can think of is, it would not be out of the ordinary for a Manager to say "Get that presentation made by 10AM Susan" to his secretary, but it would be quite strange for a Secretary to say "Get those reports out to your superiors by 10AM Michelle." Most of the time inferiors asking requests of superiors are phrased as such, requests. You don't say to your boss "Get me more people on my team." You instead would more likely say "I can't finish this without more people, can you get me more help?"

Sorry for stereotypical examples, but I'm trying to articulate the concept as simple as possible.

>>105801
This too I suppose. The closest thing left to a formality system English has built into the language left is curse words (i.e. "fuck", "shit", "damn" etc.) not to be confused with crass topics (i.e. sex, politics, religion etc.) Assuming you're talking to someone you are unfamiliar with who is above you in the company. Telling him that "Shit's fucked" is a bit of a social faux pas. It may be true that shit is indeed fucked, but your phrasing delivers the formality of the situation.

Granted this again gets incredibly wishy-washy in English because most English is dominated by Americans, and Americans have very egalitarian ideas. Superiors who are "chummy" with inferiors also confuse matters because they'll drop formality as a sign of friendliness.

>>105801
Being more polite to someone just because you need something from that person and not because you feel respect towards that person seems wrong, like lying to them. If i ever ended up in a leadership position i would prefer to know what my subordinates actually think rather than getting sweet-talked to. But then again i agree with the robot's quote in pic related, people without autism are flawed and need extra attention when talked to.

>>105809
In any healthy social relationship being polite doesn't mean not speaking your mind. Common misconception I see on this board.

>>105811
I see nothing healthy about forced/fake politeness.

>>105814
bc you're autistic

>>105815
Guess autism prevents me from embracing the virtues of lying and mental manipulation.

>>105814
Well yes, "forced" implies as such. Kind of similar to say "there's nothing healthy about unhealthy politeness", that's quite apparent to everyone. Have you considered the possibility of a non-forced politeness existing?

>>105818
>people without autism are flawed
yeah you said it yourself already, if this is how you cope with autism I'm happy for you. being polite serves a purpose for nonautists tho

>>105818
sounds like a blessing. I won't lie when I say I manipulate people to get what I want but I do feel bad about it. pretty sure that makes me a sociopath, but most of life is a give & take game like that.

>>105822
Well one what you're describing is a psychopath not a sociopath, two you aren't a psychopath because you feel bad about it, it means you're a compulsive liar. Which is fine I suppose, if you have a problem with it I advise to stop compulsively lying or just starting actively lying, keeping yourself in that mental fog on the subject is probably slowing you down.

>>105824
It's not really a mental fog lol. at the most it's shower thoughts about the people I've manipulated in my life. I don't mind lying if it's for personal gain.

>>105826
>I don't mind lying if it's for personal gain.
This is literally the opposite of feeling bad for doing it. Pick one.

>>105829
I CAN'T PICK ONE! I DO IT FOR PERSONAL GAIN, AND THEN FEEL SOMEWHAT BAD ABOUT IT! I'm sorry for being such a conundrum of a person

>>105819
Well, have you considered the possibility that no one in this thread claimed that in any healthy social relationship being polite does mean not speaking your mind?

>>105820
No need to be upset, i'm not advocating rudeness, i'm advocating being genuine.

>>105822
I'm perceiving INFJ like vibes from you.

>>105835
>No need to be upset, i'm not advocating rudeness, i'm advocating being genuine.
not upset and also many people are genuinely polite.again you're autistic so I don't expect you to get it.

>>105835
>Well, have you considered the possibility that no one in this thread claimed that in any healthy social relationship being polite does mean not speaking your mind?
Yes, yes I did in fact.
>>105811
>Common misconception I see on this board.
Most people who make this mistake are so bad at social situations they literally don't understand how to pose dissidence without upsetting people, so they shut up out of fear as opposed to any nuanced understanding.

>>105835
>No need to be upset, i'm not advocating rudeness, i'm advocating being genuine.
How polite you are has little to do without genuine you are. You can be quite rude and a lying your ass off, or quite polite and honest at the same time.

>>105835
>Well, have you considered the possibility that no one in this thread claimed that in any healthy social relationship being polite does mean not speaking your mind?
What the fuck is this supposed to mean then?
>Being more polite to someone just because you need something from that person and not because you feel respect towards that person seems wrong, like lying to them.
>like lying to them.
>not speaking your mind.

>>105840
Totally.

>>105841
It means that sucking up to your boss is not politeness.

>>105712
Thread's gone to shit but i want to say that i also struggle a lot with this. For example i noticed that when i'm with a friend and someone is speaking to both of us, they tend to avoid eye contact with me and focus on my friend. Idk why maybe i have "crazy eyes" and they feel uncomfortable

>>105809
showing respect isn’t the same as sweet talking, absolutely retarded take

>>105968
Giving more respect to those who have power over you while looking down on those who are under your power is a slave's mentality. People should be judged by merit not social status. Also no one said that showing respect IS the same as sweet talking, i suggest improving your reading comprehension before implying someone else is retarded.

>>106008
nta but
>People should be judged by merit not social status
office org structures are literal hierarchies and symbols of merit
>improving your reading comprehension before implying someone else is retarded
you're that autistic anon right? you are literally retarded. it's not a bad thing but like you obviously are going to have a warped view on the world lol

>>106010
No one said about offices, please stop pulling things out of your ass. You are naive to think that positions of power correlate with moral superiority, usually its the opportunists and schemers who rise to the top. You call me retarded, but from my perspective you're the retarded one and i would be pleasantly surprised if you were able to tie your own shoes, because being retarded IS a bad thing.

>>106014
>No one said about offices, please stop pulling things out of your ass.
except it's literally how this argument began, read again >>105784
>You are naive to think that positions of power correlate with moral superiority
I said merit not morality, you're the one pulling shit out of your ass girl can you read?
>You call me retarded, but from my perspective you're the retarded one
you also think showing people basic respect is retarded lol. this means nothing to me girl

>>106016
>except it's literally how this argument began, read again
Well, i'm reading and i see no office work mentioned, are you actually implying that hierarchies only exist in offices?
>I said merit not morality
Morality is a merit, both apply.
>you also think showing people basic respect is retarded
I don't, where did i said that?

When i said that from my perspective you're the retarded one, i only said that to insult you and i feel like insulting you some more, but it looks like nature has already done that enough.

>>106024
>are you actually implying that hierarchies only exist in offices?
yeah cause I clearly claimed hierarchies literally only exist in offices because that makes a lot of sense you mongo
>Morality is a merit, both apply.
what kind of logic is this lmao
>When i said that from my perspective you're the retarded one, i only said that to insult you
you failed, I don't give a shit if a retard thinks I'm retarded
>i feel like insulting you some more, but it looks like nature has already done that enough.
fuck…. you should've spoilered this burn… how will I ever recover….

>>106010
She's not autistic. She's untamed, wild and free.