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how to stop being such a dork Anonymous 120248

my entire life ive been the quiet weirdgirl in the back of the class. im in college now and i hate being nerdy, dweeb, geeky, whatever you want to call it. it's causing me significant internal turmoil and it makes me think suicidal thoughts daily. how do i stop being a nerd

Anonymous 120261

>>120250
i appreciate your answer anon and im happy you're happy, but being a weirdo makes me sad every day. the social outcasts i meet aren't great people; they're generally depraved schizo weirdos who just take from the world and never give back, and have no interest in bettering themselves. it makes me depresso, and i make me depresso

Anonymous 120263

>>120248
Put on some sunglasses, crack a slick smile, and also don’t give a fuck. It’s a three step plan

Anonymous 120264

>>120261
>>120263
No but for real it’s not something that will be easy to fix but really the first step towards any positive change is recognizing that you want to see said change. The rest is up to you, whether you seek self help or therapy. Honestly self help is probably the best thing for you. Ever heard of the phrase “failing forward?” Just keep failing at being cool by trying until you eventually wake up and realize “ah shit, I’m here!”

Anonymous 120276

>>120261
But the world doesn't seem to care about us. Plus there is nothing we can really do for the world other than give to charities. But even then the effect is minimal or possibly none existent.

Anonymous 120280

When covid is over (kek) try finding free local events that straddle the line between social cool kid shit and nerd shit. I used to go to stuff like "drawing parties" where you go to a cafe and drink beer or tea and play drawing games with other people for an hour. It always made me feel really sociable and cool and boosted my self esteem a lot. Plus, there were less weirdos than say, going to an anime meetup.

Anonymous 120288

>>120248
just be yourself

Anonymous 120301

AFFCEFB4-2E14-4540…

>>120280
>when covid is over

Anonymous 120302

>>120280
covid will never be over.

Unless you mean "when we have decided to stop panicking about covid and it becomes endemic", in that case we already reached that point.

Anonymous 120303

>>120302
It’s already endemic if the past few winters are any measure (they are)

Anonymous 120313

>>120264
thank you i will wear sunglasses over my glasses and do my best to smile with braces and yellow teeth
but seriously nonita i will try as hard as i can and fail up!! thank you for the words of advice

>>120276
true, and i was being harsh with my words.

>>120280
i will do this except now, instead of when rona ends

Anonymous 120334

>>120313
I wasn’t being serious about the glasses, but braces are not all that bad. Most people get them at some point in their life, you just have to rock them. I cant really help you with your teeth tho

Anonymous 120335

>>120313
Also good luck!

Anonymous 120352

>>120261
Maybe you gravitate towards psychos because you want to be one. Just because you're like that doesn't mean we all are. Youre literally saying all nerds are depraved schizo wierdos and nothing else. Sounds like a you problem mostly.

Anonymous 120464

>>120313
try teeth whiteners if you can get them, I heard they work. and avoid stuff that stains your teeth like coffee if you can obviously.

Anonymous 120469

>>120248
Lucky cat, this pic makes me want McDonalds fries. Why are they so good, they give me a saltgasm whenever I eat them

Anonymous 120473

xtiarawhiskey.jpg

I understand you, anon. It sucks because it can be a long and difficult change to make. I hate how most "nerdy" things aren't even harmful yet still make you different and less desirable.

I am no expert because I am just like you, but here is my plan that I want to go through with:

What I will start with is a general physical change. It's personal to me and my own abilities so find things like this that you feel like you need to learn. I am going to learn how to do makeup and try styling myself with trendy clothing brands. I will also try to fix my hair in different ways. I might try to wear jewelry, too. I just feel like people who wear jewelry are elegant and fancy or something like that.

Second of all, I already do this but I want to do it much more often than usual. I am not going to tell people my own interests unless I'm super close with them. I feel like you can get by being very vague about things. I might also try to get more 'normal' hobbies. (Examples: Going to the gym, traveling, gardening, arts and crafts, etc.)

I am not too sure where to go from there though. I am a creature of habit and I probably won't drop my interests for the pursuit of popularity. But if it comes to it, I would at least attempt to for the sake of being normal.

The only other way out of this is finding other geeks like you and surrounding yourself with them. Live and embrace the small bubble of your interests and hobbies. But, I do understand the longing to be like everyone else. It is something I've wished for too.

Anonymous 120482

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>>120464
gave up tea and now religiously floss and brush twice a day. as soon as these braces come off im going to get myself some whiten strips and finally be able to smile in pictures

>>120469
agree. maccies fries are why im alive. only good when hot tho

>>120473
hey , glad you understand the desire. the plan sounds good, and im pursuing something similar. can i ask what hobbies and interests that you have that are geeky? i don't think entirely dropping them for the sake of normalcy is a good idea, because you wouldn't enjoy it and people would be able to tell. maybe find things that straddle the line between nerd stuff and normie stuff. although im blanking on things those are.

also, i don't know if normies really have hobbies? not to sound elitist or anything, but i think normal girls go to work/school, hang out with their friends, and go on social media/watch netflix for fun. maybe go to the gym occasionally. i observe girls i perceive as normal (like a creep) and these are the only things i find them doing.

(unrelated, i like to draw and am pretty good at it, but i think art is a nerd hobby. generally young adult (18-25 year old) artists in my experience are weebs, roleplayers, or part of fandoms.)

for me fashion is a mystery, and makeup even moreso. but im going to figure it out. i bought my first piece of jewelry (a tiny chain) and have started wearing it whenever i go out. ive also started going to the gym in order to make my body pretty. ganbare anon and keep me updated

ah i sound like a shallow bitch

Anonymous 120496

>>120482

>can i ask what hobbies and interests that you have that are geeky?


I do digital art (Fan art or my friends OCs, I play video games like World of Warcraft, I watch anime, I am in a few fandoms. Mostly stuff like that. I tend to keep it to myself, for the most part, only people that are very close to me know what my interests are.

>also, i don't know if normies really have hobbies?


I think you are semi-correct about this. If they do, then it's a small part of their social/work/school life.

A lot of things that I'm planning to learn are very foreign to me. I am afraid that I will chicken out and not go through with it. Especially since I have just been in my own little bubble lately. I still think it's possible to change though.

You are not alone in feeling like this. Our thought process is very similar. Best of luck, anon. I hope things get better for you.

Anonymous 122469

>>120248
Your real problems are probably the way you look,dress, talk and carry yourself, combined. Most likely it has nothing to do with a hobby. The only problem with hobbies is if you do nothing else but consume media and garbage fanart. If you're annoying to be around it's the first thing I notice more than anything else though not your hobbies. I've also noticed it's related to never going outside or having a life. Sorry for assuming but nearly everyone who posts in feels sounds like they don't. Anything that scares you, you should throw yourself into until your confident in a niche you want to be in. Honestly just throw yourself at things you don't like all the time and you will develop a spine and not be so off-putting.

You're probably just sheltered af.

Anonymous 122590

>>122469
you're probably right, nonita. but what do you mean "have a life"? I'm genuinely serious, what does that idiom mean in practical, applicable terms? (like do you mean get a boyfriend, get a job, get hobbies, what exactly do you mean?) and is "go outside" also an idiom or do you literally mean "going into exposed air"? sorry for being an idiot haha.

Anonymous 122598

>>122590
It means go out and do something you can actually apply to your life. If you hole yourself up when you get home you become soft and out of touch, it's easy to tell. If you have no social skills make an exerted effort to develop them. Get a job, make money, start a savings start something like a small business to be able to say you did it. Always do things to be able to say you did it and stop rotting your brain on horse shit that can't really be applied anywhere. Still If you change yourself too much and just walk around desperately trying to fit in it feels really supremely off and grimy and trust me nobody will like you more of you do that. It's hard to tell you where to start because I don't see a clear big picture of your strengths weaknesses.

Shallow interests don't make you less desirable trust me it's the way you carry yourself that ruins people's expectations of you. Mushy and insecure just rub the wrong way.

Anonymous 122602

I'm similar to you. I still experience anxiety when I have to interact with people, but I struggle way less now. Going out more with friends and ppl from uni helped. I think wearing make up can make you more insecure in the long run, working out is a good idea overall though, but your priority should be obtaining social skills, or you'll become like guys from /fit/ (who look good but can't get a gf)

Anonymous 122615

>>122598
this makes sense. i wonder how much of an actual job i can manage to balance on top of school, but i think volunteering at the soup kitchen nearby wouldn't be too difficult. and i don't think doing commissions for art would be too difficult, either. thank you for the advice.
>>122602
you're absolutely right nonita, gaining social skills should be a priority. i intend to join a political group on campus i feel very passionate about in order to interact with people, and to set a goal of "hanging out" with at least one person a week. (i can't remember the last time i've hung out with an irl person.)

Anonymous 122616

remember.png

i also struggle immensely with this, and have for most of my life. im currently in college and yesterday i went to class and had a breakdown internally because i felt so awkward(had to talk in class, the way i talked was very embarrassing). i kind of have the feeling that ive already been categorized as a socially inept fuckup, but ive decided to let go of those things. even if the people in this class have written me off as a weirdo who is clearly insecure and rubs them the wrong way, i can use this class to get more comfortable and practice acting secure in myself and not give into the urge to be a nervous fuck up if that makes sense.

>my entire life ive been the quiet weirdgirl in the back of the class.

it's also important to not conceptualize yourself as a "weirdgirl". what does this do for you except keep you stuck in the state of being a "weirdgirl"? what are the benefits of calling yourself a "weirdgirl"? you may say that it gives you a sense of identity; this may give you temporary comfort, but it comes at the cost of stunting yourself socially. is that worth it to you?

>>122469
>Your real problems are probably the way you look,dress, talk and carry yourself, combined.
this nona is right. ive noticed that when i hold myself back a bit, make a concerted effort to appear "normal", speak in a coherent way, smile/eyecontact(but oh god not too much), people respond miles better to me. its unfortunate that things have to be this way. but they just are.

Anonymous 122631

>>122616
Samefag from before.

Pfft "people never forget how you make them feel" trust me half the time they'll also run all over other people just for kicks. Just because you're rubbing people the wrong way doesn't mean your the only one fucking up. If anything you're probably the least of our problems.

The world is honestly kind of a sleazefest.its a sinking ship no matter how you look at it. You're greatest weapon is to take none of it seriously and laugh at people subtly, while engrossing yourself in something you love to protect you from thinking.

If you only blame yourself and idealize everyone besides yourself, you'll become easy to manipulate, easy to fool, easy to brainwash. No offense but some of you sound like you've never hung out with normal people, and seen what they're really like to each other.

They're opportunists and they're often out for blood for no particular reason and a ton of playground girls never actually grow out of it, they just bring it to college, to work, especially, it seems to the bored suburbs.

If y'all really want to get beyond this internalized self-loathing, w"wired girl vibe" problem you need to stop comparing yourself to what you imagine.

Stop taking things so seriously. Laugh at everything. The second you start taking things too seriously it all falls apart, you start to take on this mushy out of touch self loathing aura.

You get pulled into dark perspectives, black and white perspectives ..that color things incorrectly. As long as you never take anything too seriously you're good. When you're never too serious it's impossible to really offend anyone because you aren't carrying around things you imagine.. hard feelings etc.. (which people can pick up on it if you're energy is heavy) Just forget everything heavy.

I have this problem from time to time. I have a lot I hate sometimes for morons. Sometimes I don't know what to do with my ruminating until I remember to forget everything and take nothing seriously accept what I'm working on. This is the only thing that makes life bliss. Things can go from black to sunshine in under a couple of minutes if you remember a this.

But seriously stop idealizing people. Fuck people unless they're rare gems you know exceedingly well.

You should never go out of your way to appear needy for anyone/ any groups approval or attention. It does nothing for you, and it just makes you look like a moron, people can tell. All the shills you know in class are just basic shills. Only interact with them, especially moids, on your own terms

Anonymous 122635

>>122631
hello nonita. thank you for chiming in again i appreciate your perspective and input.
i recognize that people are stupid and shallow and callous for no reason, but i want to be a part of that world just to see what it's like. also, if the corporate world is like that i'd need to see what it's about to have any chance of doing well for myself.
and, if i meet no one and have no real friends i have no chance of seeing a rare gem that deserves my admiration.
(probably tmi but i have moderate depression that makes me take things seriously and have black and white perspectives. it is one of the many many things i am actively working on and trying to improve about myself.)

>>122616
if it makes you feel better, people likely won't remember your internal freakout. the way you describe it makes it seem that it wasn't large, if anything. classes are big and i don't remember anyone in my classes unless they usually sit next to me or something. you should definitely use the class as an opportunity to practice being chill in an environment where people probably don't give a shit about you (no offense).

i'm not shy, i can smile, hold eye contact. i can make conversation with random people in classes that i've never seen before about stupid small talk shit like majors and the weather. i like talking in front of groups and i am no stranger to raising my hand in class even for an idiotic question (all of my questions are idiotic). i don't think i give off weird vibes or energy, but having and maintaining friends doesn't seem to come easily for me like it seems to for everyone else. it could be because i'm ugly as sin and don't know how to dress. maybe i smell bad too. it is a mystery. one i will solve.

Anonymous 122642

>>122616
>Embarrass yourself in front of class
>Have to sit in the rest of the class after you embarrass yourself
>Internally freak out but you can't just get up and leave and let out your emotions so you just sit there
I want to hug you because I've been there and iktf.

Anonymous 122649

>>122635
If you constantly lean into basic looking crowds to secure things for yourself you'll start looking like a pawn or a duck tagging along, being taken for a ride, but never really adding anything and people will treat you like that. You may think it doesn't matter and you can just hitch a ride by looking a certain way… But if you sound this way all the time like you're constantly trying to fit like a puzzle piece somewhere, you will feel like you did before, it will just look different.


You can have a job without being miserable, and you can have a few friends without being bored.

Anonymous 122721

I don't think your hobbies are the problem. Most likely your depression and the people you hang out with. I'm guessing you were bullied for this no?

Anonymous 122734

>>122721
You're probably right that I won't accrue any respect if I exclusively try to tag along with those I deem as "normal". Even so, it's not like my current life is fulfilling. I don't think the life I'm on track to have would be fulfilling at all either. I think I'd hate myself even more if out of uni I had nerdy, weird friends and a job that wasn't respectable.

>>122721
I was never bullied. I don't hang out with anyone in real life and never really have had friends, aside from the occasional one in middle school (and somehow) a few boyfriends in high school.

I also agree it's probably not any hobbies and is probably the depresso. To reiterate, my hobbies aren't (visibly?) nerdy or weird. Therapy is hard to get because everyone at this goddamn university is depressed but I'm trying.



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