25+ Thread Anonymous 14473
I'm curious as to how many "older" anons are on crystal cafe.
just turned 25 two days ago, thanks for making me realize I'm old now.
I am 25 but I don't feel old at all despite saying I feel old. I guess I say that because people expect you to change when you hit 25, but I still feel like I am 20 or so.
I'm in this category and it's one of the main reasons why I don't bother with the friend finder thread. Everyone is so young and seem to have cut off ages at 26. ;_;
Theres a few older anons in the friend finder threads, not on this site for horrible advertisement locations but on lolcow there's more adults instead of children.
33 here, mentally 27 tho.
I'm 27. I don't feel feel it or look it but it can be hard to get people to take me seriously as a result.
I'm actually excited to be old one day. I wanna be like the ladies on advanced style <3
I am 25. Just like >>14489
I feel pretty similar to 21 or so. I think I had my shit together better back then almost.
Did anyone else feel a kind of panicked at hitting 25? I'm scared I still haven't accomplished anything and have just worked lowly jobs and survived.
Early thirties. Feel like in my 70s.
I'm 29, but I feel like I'm about 20 or so. I think I might be mentally retarded.
"but age is just a number, guise"/s
Part of me loves being in my mid 20's, it just sucks because people on the Internet seem to think you're ancient, which is the opposite of the real world REALLY thinks in most cases.
I like to think of it this way - if I dropped dead tomorrow would everyone say "oh no she died so young!" If the answer is yes, then you're still young
That's only if you die at that age.
I turned 29 recently. I hate living.
My parents didn't teach me any life skills and my family moved around constantly, thus interrupting my upward spiral of socialization. Mentally and emotionally, I feel like I'm about 15 years behind the curve.
Good stance to take tbh, I hear that about people in their 50s so I'll be right for a few decades more at least.
Anyway I am 26 and the only difference between now and when I was 20 is that now I'm hyper aware of people suddenly considering me old. I think they're wrong but there's not much I can do except accept it and live my best (single and childless) life.
It's kinda depressing that I'm officially an "older" person to the majority of the internet at the ripe "old" age of 25. I don't feel any different than I did at 18, other than the fact that I've wised up a lot and don't act quite as stupid. But I still feel like the exact same person, in the same young body, and I don't really look that much different either (pictorial evidence proves this). So the fact that I'm considered an ancient old bat to everyone younger than me feels odd. 25 isn't old, and neither is 35. You're not old until you're 60, folks.
Yuh I turned 26 recently. Part of "getting old," is realizing that both sides of age stereotypes are fucking stupid.
You still feel mentally wherever you are no matter how many more "adult" responsibilities you end up with, and it's mostly about perspective. Which is why people tend to admire old (actually old, senior citizen level) people who still have a passion for life because they realize that being old just means you lived through more shit, and to have a decently adjusted attitude towards aging.
I didn't mean to turn this into a rant but generally, there are going to be more "old" people on the internet, we grew up with it too ya silly kids.
I used to feel like a childish loser because it took me a few more years than it should to finish university. Being surrounded by really young people who seem to be so much more ahead in life really makes you feel old.
Now that I got a great job I feel a lot better about my age.
I'm 28. I've started to not be able to relate as well with my early-20s coworkers. I also gave myself a drastic hairstyle change, I think partially in an attempt to look younger. I live by a university and I often get asked if I'm a student. I'm small and have a round face so people usually think I'm younger than I am.
I want to be a cute hip mom but I don't know if that will happen.
I’m 26 and hearing this is weirdly reassuring. I refuse to stop liking the things that others might consider childish (anime, Jfash, Pokémon, etc.) because…what’s the point? I have lolita friends who are 28+ and they look amazing. People who think life stops after 30 make me so sad.
27. I'm happy to see this thread – sometimes I feel weird being on image boards because I assume everyone else is a teenager…
I've been getting hit with emotions about this particularly hard lately. I woke up a few mornings ago and for some reason my body was screaming for sex harder than it has in a long time, I don't have much of a sex drive really. The next day I had these intrusive thoughts about wanting children all day like never before, who knows where this came from but it appeared from nowhere. It's the same feeling you might get while looking at baby clothes or shoes except it's happening while I sit here petting my cat and sitting on the computer.
I want to be okay with how I'm in my late 20s but damn I almost feel regret that I am not settled down yet. When I was 21 I had a roommate who was 32.. she gave me this advice that I needed to find a guy to spend the rest of my life with asap because "every guy I meet at this age either has children or is a loser". I'm scared that will be me in 6 years(though her standards were too high, 32 or not, she expected too much but that's her choice).
I know that I am not hopeless and am pretty enough to make this happen with some effort, I know I am the same person as I've always been and that my appearance hasn't faded much, but after getting called a future spinster/wine aunt on CC I've been growing terrified of being this.
>What's stopping you from dating?
Nothing, I guess. No good reason. I want to go boyfriend hunting after moving in the near future.
Join the rising tide of polyamory. We slay and men can't keep up. Soon there won't be enough good ones to go around, so we're gonna either have to go poly, go lez, or go it alone.
No thanks being a cuck doesn't sound very appealing
my idea is that people go poly because they want to fuck other people but don't have the balls to break up with their partner, so they come up with this bullshit that they can "love more than one person at the same time" uwu
i would sage but i want to know what you will say because you probably don't feel this way and i've never asked a "polyamorous" person how they feel.
Also this seemed like a rising tide that died down. People don't talk much about it anymore.
Not judging but it doesn't seem like the ideal situation when you're wanting to settle down and have a family. It seems more of a carefree early 20s experiment that ends up with someone getting their feelings hurt.
Cuckold/cuckquean relationships fetishize humiliation. I think that's pretty icky, and I find it morally questionable. There is a huge difference between your partner having sex with someone else with your permission, and your partner having sex with someone else with the specific intent of bringing you down emotionally. If you feel that non-monogamy is inherently humiliating, what that communicates to me is that you feel you know what's good for others better than they do. I don't like BDSM, I would feel humiliated wearing a ballgag for example. But I believe others who play that way and say they don't feel humiliated. "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent," is something I heard when I was very little and it's always stuck with me and I believe it very strongly.>>28012
To each their own, as long as you don't judge.>>28029
We're a year and a few short weeks from the 2020s; if I wanted to have sex with lots of different people it's not difficult to do and doesn't really take much bravery in this day and age. I do find that different people offer different things sexually and I'm not ashamed to enjoy that. I don't take sex casually, flippantly, and I consider it a serious bond between people. I have never had a one night stand, never slept with someone on the first date, and I never allow someone to have sex with me if I believe that's all they want from me.
I do believe you can love more than one person at the same time. My concept of love isn't bound to exclusivity; no other form of love in my life has that quality so I don't see any reason why romantic love should be that way. I don't believe in soul mates, I believe that love is formed through time spent together and compatibility and I don't think there's any reason that can't happen with more than one person. If you're genuinely curious I'm happy to answer any other specific questions you may have.
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Looks like you posted this just as I was posting my other long post. I don't think that it's a dying trend; if you have academic access read pic related. Over 1 in 5 Americans between the ages of 18 and 65 (this is from two samples of roughly 4k people each) indicated in 2017 that they have some experience with consensual non-monogamy. I can't prove it, but I suspect that number will grow as it becomes more accepted. Searches and public interest in it is skyrocketing based on internet searches.
I think there's definitely risk for heartbreak, and raising children would function differently than the traditional monogamous heterosexual model. But those relationships aren't exactly peachy considering divorce rates (which don't include bad marriages that people refuse to leave) and while the potential for disaster is there, I don't see that as being any different than monogamy.
Certainly people in their 20s will be more likely to try it; younger people have always been more open to challenging social norms. I see being poly very much like being gay in the 50s and 60s; people thought it was a sickness or something that "wasn't real love" and was untenable as a family model and something that was a very rare instance. It turns out it's way more common, way more workable as a family unit, and just as real as heterosexual relationships. I was a little flip when I said women are doing so great and there are fewer and fewer good men, but I'm somewhat serious. We're evolving socially, and with more and more women being high achievers and more and more men being left behind, I feel like our options really are going to narrow down to 1) be alone (this would be more humiliating to me than sharing a man) 2) be with someone who I'm not excited to be with (which, why bother?) or 3) share a man I'm excited about with another woman or women with whom I can form a meaningful interpersonal bond and rely on as a part of my family and that I can love for the rest of my life.
>>28035>But those relationships aren't exactly peachy considering divorce rates (which don't include bad marriages that people refuse to leave)
Fair point. It reminds me of what people said about gay marriage killing the meaning/sanctity of marriage, it has been dead for decades now.
> We're evolving socially, and with more and more women being high achievers and more and more men being left behind
This seems like the other persective of "20% of men are getting with 85% of women" stuff posted on /r9k/. But it makes sense, since women simply put more effort into their appearance on average.
Still, I would prefer my own bf compared to being a member of a harem. I hope that it never comes to that.
>>28037>This seems like the other persective of "20% of men are getting with 85% of women" stuff posted on /r9k/.
What the r9k crowd fails to realize is that the distribution of "quality" in guys is not a normal bell curve. 20% of the men get 85% of the women because the gap between a top 20% guy and a top 30% guy is HUGE. I'm making these numbers up off the top of my head but you get the point. We work harder than they do; why should be settle?
>Still, I would prefer my own bf compared to being a member of a harem. I hope that it never comes to that.
Let me be clear; I am not saying I would rather share a high quality man than have one to myself. I'm saying that I would rather share a high quality man than have an average one to myself. That would vary somewhat depending on how quality the guy is, how well I connect with the other woman or women, and how many women. I would be 100% fine sharing a guy with one or even two women (for a good enough guy) but I don't want to be a face in a crowd. I think you can have romantic love for more than one person, but that doesn't mean it's limitless. You can have more than one close friend, it doesn't mean you can have 100 people and truly be close to all of them (or 10 for that matter).
>>28035>Fetishing this hard
C'mon, anon, you think this is anything at all but you projecting?Throughout history there have been a generation or two where in some nation or region working-class women were more stable and out-earned working-class men. It is always a side-effect or economic upheaval and it never, ever lasts. Indeed, it is usually followed by a much more "traditional" phase marked by a strong uptick in SAHMs.
The young girls of today? I bet that they end up with more SAHMs than doctors
>>28039>Believing the Pareto principle applies to people
Are you a guy?
What are your standards for high tier men? What constitutes average? This all seems very unclear since people have varying tastes.
And what of women who prefer men you consider "average" or below? Where do they fit in your ideal poly world?
Not against polyamory btw, no matter what the gender ratio or sexuality involved. It seems like (although not for me) it could be cute and fulfilling if everyone consents and is emotionally mature. I just don't think it will come down to a chad-harem world lmao.
That's entirely possible. I think this economic and social upheaval is unique, but I suppose people throughout history have thought their era of history was unique. But I really do believe the industrial revolution changed everything; every revolution prior to that returned to a state where manual labor was the backbone of the economy, and it no longer is.
I should add that I don't think poly will become the norm, just dramatically more common.>>28041
I had to look up the Pareto principle. Like I said, I don't think it'll become the norm. But do you really not think that the top 10-20% of guys are WAY better than the rest? I'm not proud of it, but the majority of men are invisible to me romantically. Maybe I'm overly picky. I don't claim that my perspective is "right," only that it will become more common. And I think a lot more women think the way I do than would openly admit it (which admittedly may be "projection").
>Are you a guy?
I'm endorsing a system that would leave the majority of men without romantic or sexual partners. What do you think?>>28044>What are your standards for high tier men?
High income and/or professionally prestigious. Strong moral character, kind, intelligent, social/popular. Gets along well with his family, likes kids and animals. Conventionally attractive, preferably engages in organized competition and likes to spend time outside. Cares about the well being of others.
>What constitutes average? This all seems very unclear since people have varying tastes.
I think that most women like some combination of what I listed above, plus a few other traits that vary a lot from woman to woman (like having a certain hobby that they share).
>And what of women who prefer men you consider "average" or below?
I've noticed that people who prefer an unconventional body type or personality type tend to also not be conventionally attractive, which suggests to me that those niche preferences are a cope. Of course that could be a cope to feel less cynical sooo…
>your ideal poly world?
To reiterate, I don't consider my interest in this "ideal" or "better" than what works for anyone else. I just think that it will become more common in the next decade or two.
>It seems like (although not for me) it could be cute and fulfilling if everyone consents and is emotionally mature. I just don't think it will come down to a chad-harem world lmao.
I agree. To be clear, I think emotional maturity and honest dedication to communication and commitment are also part of what constitutes being a "high tier man." Brad Pitt is high tier; Mr. Big from Sex and the City is not. I don't envision "chad harems" and I think that kind of chad/stacy internet lingo is mostly used by men who refuse to take accountability for themselves.
I think this is a really interesting discussion and I'm glad everyone has been really nice and is just asking genuine curious questions. Would anyone be interested in a separate thread about this? I want to make sure we stay on topic, and while my views on this have definitely evolved throughout my 20s, I'm not sure that this discussion is 100% what OP was asking about. But if nobody has a problem I'm happy staying here too.
As was mentioned earlier, you need to back waaaaaay up and convince me that the men you
consider top 10% match my
top 10%, let alone overall, and maybe then we can talk about my cousin who only dates long-haired blonde guitarists in rock bands, so she’s been financially supporting a series of semi-literate apes for her entire allegedly adult life. She wouldn’t touch a banker in a tailored suit with a baby wipe.
>>28045>a system that would leave the majority of men without partners
Yeah. Exactly. You sound like a LARPer from arcanine pretendingbto be what the claim all women are
Agree, I'm >>28044
and that's the main issue I had (hence I'm posting men I find personally cute). Of course anon accuses us of "coping" so that's probably what her answer will be…even if our taste has always been unconventional. I'd appreciate if she'd post the objectively attractive man.
Although I do agree on most women wanting someone kind and caring, that's so bare minimum that I'm sure men of many different backgrounds and looks could fit it lmao.
we do have a non-monogamy thread >>>/feels/15326
>>28045>High income and/or professionally prestigious. Strong moral character, kind, intelligent, social/popular. Gets along well with his family, likes kids and animals. Conventionally attractive, preferably engages in organized competition and likes to spend time outside. Cares about the well being of others.
Oh, I have no expectations to get somebody this perfect. I'm mediocre-averagish myself.
Best I got a date with was a 6'4 nerdish lanklet guy who was pretty athletic and played some videogames. Cute in the face and nice body imo. He was perfect for me but not quite the champion you're describing.
I don't think everyone's 10% needs to match perfectly up. It would if I were claiming that poly is going to replace mono in the future, but I never claimed that. I've made the point repeatedly in this thread that I think it will continue to rise in popularity but not replace monogamy. I do think that most peoples' top 10% however have a few common characteristics including some aspect of being conventionally attractive, but that's a whole other discussion. Also, we're not a monolith; some women might go for the long hair rocker dude. Some women might go for a banker. In a vast society you're going to have all types. The girls who are into musicians will group together. The girls who are into banker types will group together. There's no hard 100% everybody loves him type guy, but there are guys like that within every subdivision of sub cultures and interests imaginable.>>28058
I didn't accuse anyone of coping; I fully acknowledge that my inability to believe that other girls find these guys attractive may be my own cynicism. What I said was that people with niche or unconventional attractions often have unconventionally attractive appearances. I won't ask you to describe what you look like, but based on the fact that you posted pictures of unconventionally attractive guys my guess is that you're not conventionally attractive… and that's OK!!!
Yes, kindness and caring should be bare minimums, but we have a whole long thread over at /feels/ right now asking if boys even have feelings so I don't think it's a given.
And, thank you for the link, I'll check that thread out. More to the point of this thread, to try to loop this whole talk back in and keep on topic, all of this whole perspective I've been describing definitely didn't really hit until I was in my mid to late 20s. I don't really consider this a change in sexual preference, more of a change in outlook. Has anyone else here experienced anything like that as they age?
Sorry for possible OT but is this really how people over 25 think? Do most people really categorize and rate other people as "high tier men" or 10% men and care about things like high income, status and conventional attractiveness?
Lately I've been seeing a lot of posts and internet comments with this viewpoint written by both women and men and for some reason, it has turned me cynical and kind of disenchanted to find out that older adults coldly assess each other like that. This is going to sound painfully naive but I've always thought the world worked differently, more naturally. Or am I just too young (under 25) to get it?
You're either super autistic, male, or the unfortunate combination of both.
No, this type of thinking is just a reskin of redpill principles that don't really align with reality. I won't say that no adult women think this way, but the ones that do are sure sad akin to their male counterparts.
Well there is some truth to it. Prehistorically only 40% of males have reproduced while 80% of females have.
Hmm, well it is just one poster ITT.
But yeah it's true, especially when you hit your 30s, you start thinking far more strategically about hooking up because suddenly there's not an infinite amount of time.
I like conventional attractiveness to some extent, it's kind of just how my instincts swing. I am not pretty enough to expect some kind of model but there are limits. As far as income and status go I don't talk like that because it feels pompous.
You can bet it's something I would consider about somebody though. I'm not dating a stoner lsd burnout that talks about "opening a business someday" while sitting on his student debt and working in a headshop for minimum wage again. But back then I didn't care and found him so cool. It took my entire early 20s to stop wanting that.
I wouldn't even care if a potential mate worked retail so long as he had some kind of realistic plan that could support a family someday, not just some vague idea that he has no drive for. I don't need a "high income", would date a trade apprentice, specialized mechanic or military guy.
I'm not judging or looking down on guys that don't want a life like that, but we're not compatable.
26 year old here and I don't.
Men judge women pretty harshly too, I don't think age matters when it comes to that. As I got older though (I'm 27) I do have qualifications that involve being able to provide for a family and not being a pervert or weirdo, idk if that's really harsh or cold though.
In my experience women still in the dating market after 25 looking for a serious long-term relationship tend to value making a decent income way more than young people who aren't thinking as much about the reality of trying to live independently and are naive to just how much money it costs it keep your head above water. Especially if you want to have a family and live somewhere decent, it costs money to feed more mouths and live in a safe neighborhood.
are you a male? if yes, no
God, I was stupid when I was 19.
There was a boy my age; smart, tall, nice. He started community college at 16 then went to university at 18. When we were 19 he said he wanted a serious relationship, maybe marriage. All I could think was "he's a total bore. Never goes to parties, church every Sunday, some charity thing or another Saturday. Doesn't smoke, no weed, probably a virgin."
Moped outta there.
Now we're both 27.
None of the guitarists, artists, or writers I dated stuck. Now I mainly get hit on by married men in their 30's or losers in their 40's.
Him and his 22-year-old-wife-of-two-years?
In their vacation home in the USVI.
Young, ambitiou, and hard working is the man you want.
Like mom said
I'm 27. My boy is 23. I have some definite life experience and practicality, but i'm playful as hell. We have fun amd make each other laugh. He appears to pay no mind at all to our age difference. And i don't know if i've ever felt my age. When younger, i felt older than everyone, now, i feel younger than my peers.
Luck has nothing to do with it. Get your butt into shape and you too can experience this.
True. I worked hard to become a decent human being. I like to think that hard work and a sense of humor contributed to my current state.
I'm 28 and going back to school for lulprogramming meme degree. All of my future managers will probably be 25 and I'll be 30.
It's cool, I'm going to be taking highschool level algebra courses at 26/27 at a community college. I'm gonna be 30 when I enter the field I plan on, with boys age 20-23 being in my position lol
I'm 27, I wish I were a kid every day of my life, I want to go back :(
>>28248>tfw 29 and it doesn't get better
Lets build a time machine and get back to the 90's mid and late 90's were the primo years. I don't even want to be a younger hotter version of myself, I literally want to be a kid again and play with my gigapet and watch nickelodean while my parents fight in the background.
I'm good on the whole being a kid front but I desperately wish I could be a teen again and have a do-over. I wish I had realized back then that I had way more going for me than I thought and I wish I'd gotten help early on rather than wasting my life away being a depressed NEET after dropping out of HS. you can be the little sister i always wanted though
god I'm officially old then, F
This but from elementary school. I had so many chances that I missed out on because my head was up my assignment and I was basically living in a fantasy world. But I would happily take a do-over from high school. I was (am) essentially autistic but it's just because I had a self-centered personality and I was really sheltered.
You're all officially my little sisters now, sorry I don't make the rules.
YouTube is trolling me. I hate him.
I'm getting more recommendations from his channel the titles are all very sleazy.
My algorithm has turned into a shit show.
42 and I never really cared a whole lot about any of that stuff. Not gonna say success isn't attractive, but so is relatability and basic decency. I don't think I could feel good about being with a rich attractive guy unless he was also a kind person.
I thought this was satire … yikes.
What’s your story? How long have you been online? Have you been married? Have you had a lot of bfs? One night stands? Ever touched a really hot guy? Boytoys?
same, and worried…and very alone >>28903
comfi age, cant wait till i get there…
ima have soooo many cats(^^)
>>28210>When younger, i felt older than everyone, now, i feel younger than my peers.
It's the best feel honestly. You're mature when your peers were fools, and youthful when they've gotten dreary.
>27 now>starting to get panic about finding a husband, agonizing over my face and wrinkle prevention>still look very young and cute but feeling the urge to land a husband within the next 2 years>don't even want kids though, just want a qt husband
The memes were real all along. Feels bad man. It seems like men have several more years to get their shit together and find a partner than women do. A guy at 30 is still considered marriageable, but a woman single at thirty sends guys running. It's not fair when we're held to the same standards now for self development, career goals, financial situation, etc. Then again that sentiment comes from the same geniuses who think 35 is "peak sexual market value" in males… Like nigga no that's old. 25 is when men peak. after that they get ugly, fat, and bald as shit. So maybe I just need to stop browsing imageboards because they're a biased pit of loathing and delusion.
I look about 8 years younger than I am, so I should just lie on tinder I guess. Guys who want a late-20s girl are looking for a mature motherly figure with her shit together (IE not me) and guys looking for girls like me (young-looking and still self-developing) aren't setting their search for 25+. It's not my fault men are delusional. IRL men trying to age-stereotype women are like anime creators who put 5'5" G-bust girls as weighing 85 lbs. They really have no fucking clue about reality and pull numbers from their ass. >>14654
Socially and financially I'm about five years behind where I should be. Oh well, at least I'm not a single mom or a drug addict.
A very challenging realization I’ve come to: if I don’t sant kids but want a partner, I have to be with the type of guy who doesn’t want kids. That wouldn’t have bothered me five years ago but I’ve definitely started to notice that guys who don’t want kids have some pretty reliably consistent traits that I find unappealing. I’m also starting to feel like it’s not that I don’t want kids, it’s that everyone I knew who was obsessed with having kids was kind of an idiot and an adult child, so I didn’t want to be like that. But some of the most amazing women I know now have them and love them (but aren’t obsessed) and even my mentor in my career has a bunch and she kicks ass!
The sexual market value is 35 because that's roughly when they are done with school and have been working for a couple years. A person with a house, car and good job is more desirable than a ramen eating, broke grad 25 year old student. Isn't cristian grey 26 or something, and he's the most desirable male character ever written.