/b/ - Random

found a severed hand in the mosque alleyway.

>>215867
the most recent i can think of is that i listened to a cursed song and experienced a string of bad luck. i really do think it's because of the song for various reasons but the few people i told this about say it's just coincidences

>>215880
What was the song?

My time to shine.

Whenever there's a family get together inevitably everyone will reminisce over the time I kicked a duck in the head as a toddler. They say I kicked it for no reason. However this is NOT true, because it just so happens that this duck incident is one of my earliest memories due to how it really went down. We were in a wildlife park in the South West of Ireland walking along a path. The ducks were nesting near the path, we got too close and one of the ducks attacked us, and I was scared so I kicked out at it. Despite the fact my whole family was there on that day and experienced this they don't fucking believe me. They flat out deny why I kicked a duck in the head

stole a hubcap

>>215896
It’s ok to admit you have a thirst for duck blood, Nonita. We won’t judge too harshly

JK stuff like that is oddly demoralizing in a way that’s hard to put into words. Sorry your family has decided this is a piece of lore for you all

No one will believe me when I say I didn't fart! Can you believe that?
>>215919
>Set a consenting human being on fire with gas and lighter fluid
Was it like a suicide thing?

>>215926
Nah it was just for fun. I set I guy I knew, or his clothes at least, on fire three times. For the best one I poured a line of gas a couple hundred feet down the middle of a residential street and lit it while the happy victim waited bent over backwards on all fours at the other end with a tee shirt cape soaked in lighter fluid. He ran around until he got to hot and ripped it off and rolled around on the ground. Unsurprisingly, we were drinking.

fell asleep in the snow overnight without freezing to death

I beat a girl who was bigger stronger and more athletic than myself in a fist fight.
What's funny is a crowd of moids witnessed it happen and the girl had visible bruises for days after but like a year later every time I mentioned that story people either had it twisted that it was some other girl who beat her or that it just flat out didn't happen.

>>216355
At least no one recorded it. Yeah, everyone would know you are telling the truth, but you'd be posted on /gif/ and /r9k/ by moids for the next few decades.

>>216356
I don't actually know if it was recorded. I recall seeing a tiny snippet of it mostly obscure by the crowd but I do not know where and that footage seemed to vanish once I actually could have used it lol.

I teached a whale to jump out of its tail.

>>215867
I started floating in the air after jumping off the top of my stairs

Don't think alot of people would believe me on this one but

>Brother works as line cook at a restaurant
>Had nightmare that he had cut his hand very badly
>Find out next morning that he had to go to the ER for severe cut on his arm

I didn't believe in prophetic dreams before that but this made me re-consider

When I was younger, I once "stole" money from the church. But I never did it! Some boy my age told me to stick my hand in the church money box. I didn't know why he told me to do that. I didn't know what he was trying to get me to do. I stuck my hand inside the box and quickly took it out just to prove that I could. Some adult caught me and told my mom that I was "stealing from the church" even though I didn't grab anything.

I don't remember his face but I hate him.

i ate my tooth once. can't believe i'm still bitter about this like 5 years later after telling somebody and them making me out to be some pathetic immature liar but i really did. it was a baby tooth. they were like "sure you did. that's not possible. it's a bone you expect me to believe that?" they were so condescending about it like i was a lying toddler. i legitimately did eat my tooth i never said i had it ground into fine paste retard i crushed very little of it and swallow people chip their teeth by clacking them together and this wasn't a permanent tooth and one i ripped off after it was loose in my mouth at that so what makes it difficult to believe? i'm fuming again. takes one second to remember what baby teeth look like when you take them off and the same amount of time to go on google and search up are baby teeth hollow when they fall out

>>216894
Lol I did the same thing. Had a bunch of food in my mouth so didn't realise until I swallowed it. It must happen more than we think.

This one is kinda stupid but I still think about it. I was walking home from school with a friend and some guys threw firecrackers at our feet, it blew up so loudly that one of my ears started to ring and I couldn't hear with it. I told my friend who was right next to me about it and she was like "ugh stop lying, you ear is fine". Why would she say that? Why…

Had a pet squirrel

>>216894
I ate my tooth when I was a kid, came out in a banana and lodged in the middle, and I didn't realise until I felt a solid small thing but had already swallowed, and then saw the tooth missing.

>>217105
how did you take care of it? i'm curious, a squirrel sounds unusual as a pet

>>215881
have you ever seen the rain - creedence clearwater revival

>>217158
How is that song cursed hahaha