>>227192>I'm ashamed to walk parallel ethnicities for personal benefit, but I pay a personal cost to do it.Why? No need to feel ashamed. You don't have to keep beating up on yourself to pay for your mother's and father's terrible and selfish mistake.
You are your own person and can have your own relationship with the ethnicity and culture you're from. No one can take that away from you. Especially if you manage to preserve and revive that heritage in your life or pass it on to future generations.
Trust me, once you start meeting people of your background IRL it gets much easier to feel less insecure about it.
In my case I felt very detached and insecure about it until my sibling got married to someone back home and ever since i've hung out with their in-laws it has given me that sense of connection. But also before that it helped a ton getting in touch with a local mosque prayer group with some Iraqi migrants in it (would be careful because some mosques have the rare crazies in them, but this one thankfully is all normal and kind people), they welcomed me with open arms. They know I wasn't fully raised Iraqi like them but it doesn't matter because we are good friends and have each other's back, plus they enjoy teaching me some of the cultural nuisances that I missed out on growing up so isolated.
As for Arabic its awesome you're learning it. If you want some resources on the Mesopotamian dialect I can upload some PDFs and send you the link here. I also have some PDFs on Sorani Kurdish and Kurmanji Kurdish but I'm not sure how useful they would be since I haven't read them myself.
Also, happy belated Newroz/Nowruz! :D