/b/ - Random

I was in your shoes 4 times, I edated 3 guys (not counting crushes) and had an LDR with one guy.
Let me say its never going to be worth it even if you love them. It will always be a negative in your life not being able to have a meaningful or physical relationship with someone you love. It will always hurt more than it feels good. Also most men online are fucking nutjobs, even if they don't seem that why its insanely easy for them to hide everything about themselves online, they have to keep the mask on for extremely limited periods of time, they always know when its coming and you never see them in a natural setting. Then once you breakup and he goes batshit insane all the redflags start becoming glaringly obvious.
Remember normal men don't need to edate. Normal men would not choose edating over real dating, because men are inherently physical coomchimps and if they are edating you can be certain it is his only option. If its his only option you know there is something wrong with him IRL that he can not appeal to women. Edating itself is a redflag for men.
Its not necessarily the same for women because socially awkward women aren't the same as men (who are deranged, men are already deranged usually but the social isolation brings out the worst in them and usually social dysfunction is a symptom of a greater issue. Issue causes social dysfunction, social dysfunction causes more issues which causes more social dysfunction, its a cycle) and women place less of a stress on physicality so edating can be an option for women even if they have real life options, where for men this is untrue.
Your ebf will not work out. Something is wrong with him. God forbid he is bizarrely older than you or you met him on 4chan or something. Just walk away now, I am begging you. You can not fix him and he is not the one socially awkward man who isn't secretly deranged and has good intentions. Something is wrong and you need to LEAVE because being alone is better than being with him.
In my experience all my ebfs even the ones that displayed no red flags ended up becoming manipulative messes the moment I tried to leave. They were all mentally ill, psycho misogynists.
Now I am in my first IRL relationship, its only been a little over a week together but already it feels so much better. I am afraid of the obligation IRL relationships bring and all the effort I have to put into it, but its so nice being able to have a real relationship. Its nice to be with someone who treats you nice and genuinly has your best interest at heart. I dont even love him yet but its so much better and it feels good, its kinda healing. You can all have this eventually and don't waste your time or sell yourself short on pathetic ebfs.