/b/ - Random

Because a lot of young people unironocally have a terribly warped view on sexuality and dating.
People rush into things too fast and focus way too much on apprence and the physical nature of the relationship above all else.

The guy I'm with I've known for 6 years and we've been together for 3. It started with us as co-workers and then we became friends. We hang out and play video games, watch movies ect. It's a natural evolution of the friendship and it isn't built purely on sexual satisfaction.
Meanwhile another co-worker is on her 5th boyfriend she's had since I've known her, and who I'm sure she'll have another messy breakup with. She constantly talks about nothing but kinks and fetishes the guy and her are trying and I've never heard her talk about any fun activities she and her boyfriends do. And that because they don't, there is no foundation to the relationship besides she finds him hot and he feels the same.

I've known a lot of people in relationships, and the bad ones almost always collapse in a year because the relationship was ultimately built on nothing.

My advice would be to find someone who you find witty, smart, and is willing to listen to you ramble about your hobbies for a half hour and chime in even if he knows nothing about it because he cares about your interests and enthusiasm. You should be willing to do the same for him.

Also don't fuck the guy until at least a month into the relationship. I know I sound like a prude, but honestly I've seen way to many girls who have let a guy fuck them only for him to leave after realizing that initial lust is gone. Don't let yourself be used, if he's pestering you about sex he's probably not keeper material.

>>250404
>>250404
THIS THIS THIS
I feel like many nona's on here have perfect standards for personality, but they focus too much on looks because of their terminally online anime husbandos.

Looks fade. especially in a long term relationship. (not health tho, make sure ur partner is healthy)

unfortunately there is no real reason other than this: so many women are in terrible relationships because so many men are terrible. i know bc i’ve seen it a million times (am old) and there’s zero fucking pattern to it. the only way to avoid it is to leave the second you realize you are unhappy.

Because they met their boyfriend on dating apps.

>>250397
Usually they don't start out terrible - the moid just lets his mask slip after the girl's gotten attached and molded a bunch of her daily routines around him, so then the question isn't as simple as "do I break up?" as much as "do I destroy this whole part of my life and establish entirely new routines?"

>>250404
This is what I have and it still is awful.

Knew him for two years before dating, dated for months before fucking. He involved me in his hobbies and took part in mine to impress me. It was fun for him to do all those things, too, but the same moid-in-love progression happens every time: the more I love him, the less he loves me. The more I give, the less I get. I am pussy on tap at worst and a status symbol at best.

Ten years in and he only plays games with me if there's a perfect game release that the both of us happen to love but no one else around us likes. That or if I make it clear that there won't be sex unless he offers me friendship first. He still only wants to use me for sex in this relationship built on mutual interests and a deep emotional connection. He comes home, hops on Discord and plays his games with hot and exciting e-girls. Not me. Not unless I call it out, then he'll make a half-assed effort for a few days.

>>251102
Are you married, have you sought a marriage consoler? If you aren't I'm sorry but it sounds like you need to leave him.

There must be something keeping you together for 10 years right? How recent are these issues?

>>250404
>The guy I'm with I've known for 6 years and we've been together for 3. It started with us as co-workers and then we became friends. We hang out and play video games, watch movies ect. It's a natural evolution of the friendship
got a lot of shit from my friends and online for saying this is optimal

>>250404
>I know I sound like a prude, but honestly I've seen way to many girls who have let a guy fuck them only for him to leave after realizing that initial lust is gone.
I'm the same way. I'm so glad I was online early enough to glean this as an observer instead of experiencing it firsthand. Like fuck if you want but please understand the orgasm gap is real and girls very rarely get to "doesn't matter, had sex" their way out of a date that doesn't go anywhere.

>>251102
>plays his games with hot and exciting e-girls.
I'd dump him for this. This sounds like internalized misogyny or an old hag getting mad at hotter, younger, hipper girls, but "e-girls" bring a certain kind of ruin with them that I will not have anywhere near my social circles. My guy has friends that are women (some mutual, some not) but I would be on his ass for so fast for not setting boundaries with this type.

>>251120
Dudes who get mad about this probably don't even get the casual sex they are trying to hard to normalize and the girls who give you shit are probably just coping because like I said they simply do not get to "doesn't matter, had sex". Every man I've dated (3) I knew years beforehand and the only one I fucked I am still with years later.

>>251102
uh oh, this has made me realize maybe i moved too fast with the guy i am with. we're both virgins but we started talking sexually two months into meeting each other. we both have fun but this is a wake up call that i need to change.

Most men suck and are abusive and when are constantly sucked and manipulated back into relationships by society if they question red flags, not to mention the "you should've just chose a better partner" people create a stigma about women talking about relationships aspects which just leads to more women not questioning manipulation

>>252688
I don't know if you've noticed but there are some women who are abused repeatedly by men they date (they go from one bad relationship to another), and some who don't get abused at all or only once, and have happy relationships. There's a common denominator here and it's the woman…

because women have been pressured by society into believing that their self worth is measured by their relationship status/having a boyfriend- a lot of girls dont even like the guy that theyre with but choose to remain in a relationship with him because they feel they “don’t know how to be single” or are afraid of it.

>>250404
>Also don't fuck the guy until at least a month into the relationship. I know I sound like a prude, but honestly I've seen way to many girls who have let a guy fuck them only for him to leave after realizing that initial lust is gone.
no I totally agree and I'd argue for much longer than a month, it doesn't take much for a guy to conceal his shadier side for a few weeks and you still barely know someone after so little time. I don't get why so many people (especially libfems) act like being against screwing guys you have no foundation of trust with is some kind of bigoted or stuck-up mentality, it literally benefits women and keeps them safer from disease, manipulation, and violence. And I will never understand jumping right into intimacy with strangers, whether romantic or sexual, or weird autistic "rules" about sex after x number of dates or some other milestone. Getting to know someone in a neutral context as friends first will always be what I advocate for. It's risky and unhealthy to have sex with a guy that you wouldn't confidently trust to have your best interests in other contexts and the whole push for "sexual liberation" really just translates to making it easier for men to use and abuse women, who face the most potential for harm from these interactions.
(whining) honestly I want to be celibate for the rest of my life, idc if that's abnormal thinking. I knew a guy for an insanely long time and he still wound up exhibiting violent sexual behavior after years together. He himself advocated for taking things slow and our abstinence was a non-issue, and we were planning on marrying, but then we became sexually intimate and he started hitting/choking as a fetishistic thing and threatening/pressuring me aggressively when I wanted to put a pause on physical torture. I otherwise have good non-romantic relationships with men and I'm not a bitter person, but I'm done with moid sexuality.

Because the relationships are probably just fine and it's a you problem. Look at eg >>252688 They've had bad experiences, decided that is life and now will never have a healthy relationship (with anyone) because they are embracing trauma as identity.
>>252687
I hope you're joking. If you get 'wake-up calls' from boards like this, you're a lost cause lol.

>>252706
it's something i knew but decided to ignore, this was a reminder

>>252706
I know a disingenuous fucktard when I see it

>>250397
Because they're actively going for those type of scrotes and don't learn from secondhand or even firsthand experience.

There's objectively not enough good men to match the amount of good women and because women aren't willing to be alone (partially because of societal pressure) a lot of good women end up with subpar men. Also men are masters at hiding their true colours.

>>250397

Culture that dictates a women's value by whether or not she is in a relationship, and brainwashes them into thinking a man should take care of them. "Single = loser, virgin = loser"… Women would prefer to be with the lowest hanging fruit than face how it will be being seen alone, not having a male figure for their children. Despite missing the fact that none of these matter, or if anything are made worse, when your moid is abusive.

>>252898
What is the ratio of good men to good women?
I say 1 to 100

>>253490
What is your definition of good mn vs women? For me it feels like there's alot of good mn out there that just don't fall into my standards and I couldn't stand to be seen in public with. At no fault to themselves. And then the hot guys end up developing conceited, entitled personalities and treating me like shit lol

men are horrible people, end thread.

>>252898
>>253489
Why do you think women aren't willing to be alone (assuming you live in a western culture obviously) because of social pressure? I've been single most of my life and never got snarky comment about it. Never saw anyone besides terminally online incels chastise women for being single either. You won't get harassed if you are single, compared to women who are sexually promiscuous for instance. They get a lot of shit, "slut-shaming" is definitely real. Yet I'd say that they are more women who engage in sexually promiscuous activities like hook-up culture than women who remain celibate by choice. Then why do you see most women not being able to be single more than a couple of months? It blows my mind especially when they larp as feminists and say libfem bs like "men are trash" all the time despite not being able to live without one. The only women I've seen that didn't act like this had autism, a related condition or were single mothers and did it to focus on their children.

>>253494
Really, the same things which make a good woman make a good man. Intelligence, bravery, self-restraint, humility, a strong desire to do good, appreciation for art, etc. But men are made arrogant because of testosterone, which is why good women outnumber good men a hundred to one.

>>253523
Women not being treated as cattle nor an extension of man, and being able to live alone is a first in the history of humanity. They are numerous, but not the majority.

Side note: that's why I don't understand Nonas depressed by the state of the world. No other time nor place in the history of humanity allowed women to live alone as they wish. Born 40 years earlier and you're still fighting for the right to divorce without being shamed by everyone. 60 years earlier and you need your dad or your husband authorization to open a bank account and have a job. And before that it's the dark ages.
I feel lucky everyday.

>>253609
troons are what's wrong with the world
can't do shit without them making it about them

>>253632
Close CC, tumblr and twitter to see you exposure to them diminished by 99%.

>>253523
You can want sex and not want a relationship. Just because someone fucks someone, does not mean they automatically want a relationship. Women get horny like men do.

Just because men see sex as validation does not mean sexually liberated women do. I don’t have to trust a guy with all of my life to have sex with him because I see it as an act I have protect myself while I do it.

Most of these dying woes come from the opposite gender acting like the other isn’t human and making a big deal. Yes, people are on their best behavior first, but analyzing their behavior instead of choosing people that align with your wants and needs in someone is so weird to me.

>>253662
right lmfaooo

> or else they'll say he's a worthless incel.

is such a blatant lie lmfao and in the entire time I’ve used this site I’ve never seen any women here call a woman a “good woman” simply because she’s a woman. not sure why anyone with this mentality is here.

>>253662
I agree it feel like a man wrote that. Though as someone who isn't a misandrist I agree with the broad points being made. There are plenty of good men in the world and plenty of nasty women.

I get people wanting to vent and we've all had bad experiences in life but I find the unironic sexism mentally taxiing, especially when a little pushback gets people labeled a man. People feel like they don't want to talk they just want to be angry. You can hardly even get other conversations going because it all comes back to how shitty 3DPD men are and xyz. Boards like /media/ are slow I don't want to be called a whore on 4chan and read about how women deserved to be raped there and I just want to find a chill anonymous spot to talk with people. I guess I'm just burnt out of negativity on here and lolcow.

Good men exist, I have friends, family, and a boyfriend. Pigs exist too and they are awful and uncomfortable but so is the catty woman I work with who is dumb as a rock. I'd rather read posts that didn't blanketly assume an entire population of people deserve death.

Rambling sorry.

Most of my friends are men and i still wouldnt defend males like some of the posters in this thread

>>250397
selection bias

>>253666
>>253523
I think its because there are two distinct types of posters here - one who are active (sexually or non-sexually) with men, and others who are khhv and have no experience with men (or outside world in general), we both deal with men, but the problems manifest in different ways.

>>254550
>and others who are khhv and have no experience with men (or outside world in general),

hmm.. i think you might be naive.

i think they are lesbians, and pedophile shota lover women, and women who just want to be trolling at that moment on the internet, you know, alternative lifestyle women, who say yes all men are in fact mass murderers, for their own benefit, even when reality conflicts with them.

they have zero interest, so you can lie and say everyone.

even when it is statistically the same rapist who rapes hundreds of women in Nordic feminist countries.
the same pedophile man who snapchats with hundreds of kids.
not hundreds of guys separately.

they know they are lying, and they are fine with it.

not because they are inexperienced with socializing with society, or that they can't see the outside during the day, or nightlife where women have fun and laugh loudly outside every night, or see all the women having normal happy relationships with guys who, quite obviously, aren't murdering or battering or raping them.

obviously, all societies literally could not exist, if all, or even most men, were murderer rapist hulk smash guys.

when you choose to show this obvious conflict with reality
they retort with
"well. they could? in their mind?"
yeah.
like you can just lie right now, my dear _sister_

>>255037
>>254550
I don't see how acknowledging that the average male is an opportunist rapist, ephebophile and an STD super spreader makes me a lesbian, the shota lover or the one who doesn't leave the house.

>>253528
I'm really curious what your social circumstances are, because my experience is exactly the opposite.