>>260770>complete friendless prude in all of childhood and teen years >would get dopamine from music and daydreaming which helped me cope with isolation but distracted me enough to not do well in school>had anger issues from being ugly >parents praised me for being a 'good girl' and not getting into trouble>had a superiority complex about having never drank or tried drugs by 20. was an outcast but "at least im not a stoner">get a somewhat decent amount of plastic surgery in early 20s after dropping out of CC>start obtaining entry level normie life; got myself a live-in druggie femcel friend and situationship with middle aged moid who led me on >offered an edible by druggie friend>was hesitant because being straight edge was part of my personality, but finally gave in The first time i couldnt tell if i was high but the second time it was a full on psychaedlic experience and i thought i was dying.
>becomes a weekend thing and would really use it to intensify daydreams + music>turn 23>offered coke so i tried it to be cool andended up microdosing snow for 6 months to get through work but its ok because "at least im not a smoker'>briefly use benzos to deal with awful comedowns but never really felt the affects since they just sobered me up from coke>Get my first boyfriend amidst coke addiction who gets me hooked on adderall instead but also smokes weed>find that adderall comedowns are also awful and make me suicidal, start smoking weed to deal with that>realized that stimulants dont react well with me because the crashes are so unbearable and quit cold turkey>start smoking weed regularly to cope with the boredom of living with a moid and help with personal art projects >dispensaries are popping up left and right, making it more convenient and feel more normal and justifiable>Go to visit parents realizing i hadnt seen them in months since moving in with bf>notice my moms vape looks different >find out my parents started vaping thc vapes >they arent thrilled to find that i do them at first, but like that it makes me more chill and lessens anger>regularly get stoned around parents without much thought and even trade disposables sometimes >weed tolerance is so high i need to buy the highest % of thc available everytime i go to the dispensaryI definately feel like i was born with autism or something that makes it harder to process information and that would explain why it takes 'a lot' for things to click with me for things that after i realize it seems like common sense. It makes me feel like stimulants and weed literally cured my autism. Looking back at high school, i didnt have friends because i didnt understand heirarchys or other people at all. I wasnt fully a person. And if i could go back, or if i was more of a person back then i definately would have befriended the stoners. But I also feel 'different' since doing it regularly, sometimes as if im a different person. I somehow have more empathy and feel it abnormally instensely to where it will make me very emotional at inappropriate times, despite somehow feeling more numb and apathetic nowadays.
Edibles were definately the peak of my stoner arch. When I was on edibles I didnt understand what people meant when they would talk about how weed makes them more relaxed around people or more dumb, because i felt like it made me smarter and more creative and able to figure things out better and like i was time travelling. Now that its a regular thing and i vape instead out of convenience, its more of something i do to get through the day. My intent with weed in general is usually to use it towards my creative projects and i dont see myself quitting until i reach a creative goal i want.
I do find it kinda funny and awesome that weed is becoming the new alchohol. 10 years ago boomers acted like it was heroin but now i can walk into the local bath and body works and theres probably at least one 40 year old weed aunt with a disposable