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So what's the point of having men (you aren't dating/related to) in your life? Anonymous 30977

They make bad friends and are often only interested in getting into your pants. I used to have male friends, but they were incapable of controlling themselves and eventually made advances towards me. I have a lesbian friend and she would never make me uncomfortable like that or ruin our friendship. Not only that, but I have never felt such closeness to a male friend as I have a female friend. Can someone explain this to me?

Anonymous 30979

1515589479507.jpg

>>30977
Men are incapable of being just friends with someone they are attracted to. And they usually become friends with women to get closer to them. At least from what I had seen, of course not speaking from experience.

Anonymous 30980

Spoiler

I've never had my male friends make advances on me. Just be ugly, strange, or open about having weird fetishes and they'll be turned off.
Even after getting a big makeover since high school I still have a harsh personality and my friends still remember the fact that I drew pics of guys in bondage/vomiting/gored up and other shit so they don't try. Even a newer male friend who said I was "cute" didn't attempt because I'm fucking awful.

The downside is that when I actually like a man I continue to cockblock myself.

Anonymous 30981

>>30980
>Just be ugly, strange, or open about having weird fetishes and they'll be turned off
why should I have to pretend to be something I'm not? my female friends accept me for who I am and don't try to take advantage of my kindness.

Anonymous 30983

>>30981
Then don't have male friends if it doesn't benefit you.
I only have male friends because I don't know how to approach women for friendship…I'd prefer to have female friends irl who are awful in the same way as me, but don't know how to find them.

Anonymous 30989

>>30981
Such is the curse of being born beautiful.

Anonymous 30991

>>30989
but im not beautiful, i'd give myself a 6/10 at best. it's not like im some beautiful siren pulling men in, im pretty average.

Anonymous 30992

>>30991
Such is the curse of being really really nice?

anon 31022

29101540_177987419…

personally I have only male friends since childhood i got bullied till early teens by only girls so it's kinda hard to trust my own sex lol

Anonymous 31035

>>30977
They give me attention and I need attention to survive. I lost my orbiters last year and I haven't felt a thing since

Anonymous 31037

>>31035
Please see a therapist.

Anonymous 31038

>>31037
Fuck off Stacy

Anonymous 31039

>>31038
No, anon. You are the Stacy, but really see a professional about this kind of behavior. It's not healthy. You need help.

Anonymous 31040

>not having no sex drive so you can surround yourself with only female friends and ignore males
Male friends are pointless, they will never truly see you as one of them.

Anonymous 31042

>>31035
This is a man

Anonymous 31043

>>31040
Why are you greentexting?

Anonymous 31044

>>31039
You're on an anonymous imageboard retard, stop thinking you can diagnose people because of one thing they said

Anonymous 31045

>>31044
I haven't made any diagnosis. That's why I'm recommending professional help.

Anonymous 31046

>>31043
What do you mean, she used it correctly?

Anonymous 31047

>>31046
She used the quote function correctly? Whom was she quoting?

Anonymous 31048

>>31047
She was using greentext in a way it’s commonly used, most people don’t just use it as a quote function

Anonymous 31049

>>31048
>most people don’t just use it as a quote function
If only they did. Then no one would have to put up with the offense to basic grammar that is greentexting.

Anonymous 31051

Unless you're extremely hideous (most people who claim to be aren't) or you seem like you'll be more hassle than it's worth (don't put your dick in crazy) then men are going to be interested in having sex with you.

If you look at friendships amongst gay men, that's exactly what happens. They go over to hang out, and fuck each other because why not. Heterosexual men would do exactly the same, but are usually left frustrated because women don't want it.

Whether or not you want casual sex with your friends, there's not really a 'correct' way to be, but men and women seem to be fundamentally different in this regard. Lesbians too mostly copy their heterosexual counterparts in the way they approach relationships, and heterosexual relationships are more like lesbian relationships since women hold the power as to who has sex with who.

Anonymous 31053

>>31047
You should be banned for being such a noob.

Anonymous 31055

>>31053
"who are you quoting" is an old meme though

Anonymous 31056

I don't have an irl social life so I kinda don't have much of a choice I've made it clear but im sure some are still secretly creepy. I feel more comfortable with girls since I know they won't say weird shit behind my back and even if they are attracted I don't mind it bc I've never gotten harassed by a girl before

Anonymous 31058

>>31055
Correction: I should be banned for being such a noob.

Anonymous 31059

>>31056
>I feel more comfortable with girls since I know they won't say weird shit behind my back
you know so little, it's almost always the opposite. men gossip way less

Anonymous 31072

>>31059
By weird shit I mean saying sexual stuff about me, one guy out of 3 snitched that two of my "friends" were on a video call just imagining stuff they would do to me

Anonymous 31080

>>31072
Gross

Anonymous 31082

>>31059
Depends on which girls you surround yourself with. Most of my friends irl are female and they're not the kind to gossip or create a lot of drama.

Anonymous 31084

In this moment I am glad to be ugly.

Anonymous 31091

>>31072
Girls also share way more detailed information about their sex lives. If you're friends with a girl, likely you'll know the boyfriend's sex interests, how often they do it, the curvature of his penis etc etc… Men don't tend to share information further than something like 'did you get with her?' 'yeah' and then onto the next topic.

Anonymous 31092

>>31091
Eh, I have a male friend who my other male friend says talks openly about sex with his gf around The Boys. Have you also never been on /adv/? Every other thread is some guy blabbing about how shitty his girlfriend supposedly is at sex or the size of her tits or how she doesn't wax her vagoo something.

I think it's pretty equal, I've experienced it coming from both sexes. Not that I have a study handy, but if you do it's welcome.

Anonymous 31096

>>31091
>Men don't tend to share information
Do you live in utopialand? I wish most men were like that.

Anonymous 31099

>>31092

I think there’s a big difference between being anon on the internet and venting personal details vs. giving explicit and personal information to someone irl, especially a mutual friend.

Also, yes, there is probably some small average difference between men and women with this stuff but the variation within the sexes is WAY bigger than any difference between them.

Anonymous 31100

>>31092
>>31096
>>31099
There are always exceptions of course, but if I think about my own friends, it's the women who like to go into detail. If I know a man and a woman who are or were in a relationship, I learn the stuff from the woman.

I think if you were honest with yourselves, you'd realise this too, and if you need further study there's a plebbit thread about this subject that always appears every few days.

Anonymous 31102

>>31100
>>31059
>>31091
ok but how do you claim to know so much about boy talk? from what i hear boys don't talk the same as they do when the girls are around (and vice versa i can confirm). like, im not gonna talk about my sex life infront of boys, but i'll talk about my sexual issues with close female friends. i doubt decent men are just willing to talk about their experience fucking girls around other girls. you got a penis?

Anonymous 31162

i don't.
that's why all my male friends are either taken, gay, asexual, or otherwise socially unacceptable to date (ex. your boss/professor/counselor/relative/guardian/monk/mourning widow/etc.) so it's platonic all the way. it's great because there is never ambiguity if you're being come on to - you just get to enjoy each others' company and friendship as people.

Anonymous 31165

>>31102
Once you pass that stage of deciding you don't want to date each other, the self-censoring comes down.

Anonymous 31167

>>31092
They just trash talk their gfs so their friends don't try anithing funny, retard

Anonymous 31172

>>31100
Can you explain men sharing/leaking their partner's nudes, at least? I know that's pretty common, in my own life I even saw some chad type in high school showing his friend a picture of his gf's puss in homeroom. Wild.
I still stand by it being pretty even/agree with >>31099 that it's individual. Certain types of men and certain types of women blab about it, that's it.

As for your male friends specifically, are they the types who talk about sex shit often? Like sharing porn/kinks, etc.? I know my male friends can be like that which is why it makes sense one was a blabber mouth. I used to just openly draw porn while hanging out with them lol, although I believe it's morally wrong to talk about any partners I may have in a sexual way and would stop talking about sexy things with my male best friend out of respect.

Perhaps your male friends are just less gross/open about that stuff in general?

>>31167
Apparently he didn't trash talk her, though. Just went into detail about how they fuck.

Anonymous 31177

I have more male friends than female friends, because I have "unusual" interests for a girl (but probably not abnormal for the c.c girls) but the female friends I do have im much closer to, and guys do always flirt with you. I still dont know how to feel about having male friends.

Anonymous 31184

>>31172
I actually think that's very unlikely, and that a lot of the amateurish looking nudes you see posted online are from hacks, or from computer repair shop guys going through your hard disk etc… Remember that you notice the leaked nudes but you never notice the nudes that stay private.

I'm not only going by personal experience, but what I hear from others too. There are always a bunch of reddit conversations on this topic:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/6flvf0/how_men_talk_about_women_when_there_are_no_women/dij4bjv/

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/1kcdbg/do_women_really_tell_each_other_everything_and_if/

Anonymous 31219

>>30980
woah, i should've discovered this shit a million years ago

Anonymous 31229

>>30977
none i have come to similar conclusions. all male friends will try something because the fact they are talking to you in the first place means they have some hidden motives. fact. anyways i dont have any male friends and will only talk to them when im in need of attention since they are so thirsty and will give me what i want at the snap of a finger. that's literally their only leverage above female friends.

Anonymous 31232

>>31229
I dont understand this attention drug you and many others here speak of. Personally I feel uncomfortable/insecure knowing what males think about me even if they're just school colleagues. I dont want attention; I just want to be seen as any other colleague and finish whatever task the colleague is needed for and be left alone.

Anonymous 31241

>>31232
if it means choosing between being an invisible ghost and having some person besides your own family pay attention to you then i choose the latter.

Anonymous 31278

As someone with many male friends, it only works if you're in the mom or little sister zone with them. Even if they find you aesthetically pleasing or even attractive, if you're solidly in their "would not bang" or "I wouldn't mind but would not pursue" category, they won't even attempt.
Keep in mind you'll never be able to talk about sex or relationships in detail with them like you do with your girl or gay friends unless you two actually end up fucking.

Anonymous 31348


Anonymous 31412

a guy being attracted to you is in no way a bad thing, you need to seek help

Anonymous 31413

>>31412
Having men be attracted to you isn't bad (unless ur gay or something)
However, having every male who offers you friendship only doing it to get in your pants is annoying at best. If you disagree, you've either never had to deal with an unwanted suitor (lucky you) or are a dirty pervert.

Anonymous 31414

images (37).jpeg

>>31413
>a guy that wants to be your friend because he finds you attractive is the same as some pervert stalking you

Anonymous 31416

>>31414
>wants to be your friend because he finds you attractive
But he doesn't actually want to be your friend, that's the point
>is the same as some pervert stalking you
What? When were stalkers brought up?

Anonymous 31417

gather around girls I dont know if this the right place to post this but it kinda related to the whole men wanting to have girls around if they see them as potential partners. I have a story to tell you, this didnt happened to me perse but it did happened to a friend of mine and tbh I wished I could punch that guy who did that to her seriously… Anyways, so my friend is this sweet super nice girl, honestly I havent met someone as nice as her, she always knows what to say and yeah she is basically the best girl. Anyways so she meets this guy online and he treats her like a queen and he says all these nice things about her how kind and gentle she is, she is an awesome friend how great he feels to have a friend like her and two weeks later he asks her out (note: he still didn't know what my friend looked like this will be relevant) so they were talking and he asks if he could see what she looks like and she happily sent him a picture of herself and he sent her a pic of himself but boy as soon as he saw her, he backtracked FAST my friend is pretty but she is 400lbs she kinda reminds me of Lana del rey but yeah if Lana was overweight. the guy right away was like "look I dont think we can do this we are going too fast with this maybe we need to slow down I really cant do this I am sorry" and she right away said "its because of my weight huh?" and he said "well yeah I didn't think you would be that big" and then things were left at that and some few days passed the guy stopped coming online to talk to her. days became weeks and my friend received an email saying "sorry I thought I was strong and mature enough to do this but I cant, I dont think we can be friends either I thought about ghosting you but you at least deserve to know" man my friend was so devastated, so yeah I totally agree that men only see female friends as potential partners even when the female friend has stated she is not interested but there will always be that.

Anonymous 31426

>>31412
No one said that theres a problem with that retard. The problem is when guys pretend to be your friend to fuck you or when you become good friends with a guy only for him to eventually want to fuck/date you and ruin the friendship you built. The 2nd one is the worst, i mean i can deal with fake friends but losing a true friend bc he can't keep it in his pants sucks and its happened to me twice.

I can't fuck or date every guy that talks to me jesus

Anonymous 31432

>>31426
Sounds pretty terrible for both parties involved. Must be a very good person to have them falling head-over-heels for you.

Anonymous 31434

candour.jpg

>>31426
Men would prefer to fuck everyone they find attractive, and gay men do just that in their own social groups.

It's not really possible for sex to ruin a friendship. If the inability to have sex means he stops talking to you, that means he doesn't like you that much and never did, and that the prospect of sex is what gave him motivation to keep talking. Or at the very least, he wants to use his time on someone who gives him sexual attention, and that means you fall down the list of priorities.

pic related, some 4chan guy's thoughts on the matter

Anonymous 31437

>>31434
>op
it's entirely possible he just didn't want to hear her blab on about her partner; maybe dude was going through a breakup, or was bitter about not having anyone himself. who knows if he just wanted her ~vagina~

Anonymous 31439

>>31434
You clearly don't have any experience being in a situation where a friend falls for you so stop making assumptions about it. You're an idiot if you think it doesnt ruin relationships.

Its not a matter of "oh shit no chance of pussy peace" when its a good male friend. Obviously fake male friends will peace out but its not like I even care about their friendship in the first place. I generally only talk to guys in public spaces if i want something from them, like a free drink. I dont expect friendship from a guy I meet at a club, im not retarded. I want a drink, they want quick pussy and then to never see me again its just shallow.

But when its a close guy friend its so incredibly awkward for him to tell you that he loves you and for you to reject him. There's no saving that relationship. I knew one of the guys for 3 years and it was just so clearly over at that point. His pride was hurt pretty bad. That one friend told me that his heart hurt when he looked at me and that he couldn't see me go on to date other guys. And i just ended up feeling horrible everytime we hung out after. We just eventually stopped making plans and talking.

The post from that anon is between two people that have nothing in common. Obviously i choose friends i have shit in common with and we click. I think the issue is I have interests in a lot of male dominated hobbies and like to hang out with nerdy types and they fall hard for girls in the same group.

Its not good but I give up and just treat all interactions with men as shallow and interactional. Only man I care for and trust is my bf. But i have no illusions about him going away if we could never ever have sex again, bc i wouldnt stick around either.

Anonymous 31440

>>31439
Note: i started dating recently so im obviously not flirting with men for drinks anymore

Anonymous 31441

>>31432
>pretty good person
Lol not even true, im an ok person. Have any single nerdyish male friends, have "nerdy" hobbies and interests and be a 6+/10 and they will all fall hard for you everytime.

Anonymous 31442

>>31439
>I generally only talk to guys in public spaces if i want something from them like a free drink
Like you go up and chat thinking about getting them to buy you something? I think that may be a slight sign of sociopathy.

Anonymous 31472

>>31442
Obviously I'm not approaching men trying to convince them to buy me drinks. thats pathetically desperate. Let me make this post super clear for you because you seem to make assumptions.

Men approach and offer to buy me (women in general) drinks to obviously try and get me drunk so he can insert his dick inside me. Why else would you offer to buy a women you find attractive a substance that reduces their decision making and cognitive function? Im not naive and im not interested in one night stands.

And its absolutely unbelieveable the lies a man will tell you to get you into bed about how interested he is in you as a person and how he wants to get to know you and yadda yadda. The shit I've been told to try and "sway me" is ridiculous. It's a lot more sociopathic to express romantic interest in a girl beyond sex just to get into her pants. I dont feel bad at all for ordering the drink and peacing out. Not that I've ever fell for any of their shit.

Anonymous 31477

>>31472
It's just the way you worded it. No biggie.

Anonymous 31516

db39fe16-a66d-4969…

>>31416
>>31426
>>31434
>guy wants a relationship
>men know that most relationships start as two people being nice to each other
>then they turn into friends
>then they turn into fuckbuddies
>then they turn into a couple
if you understand this part, move forward
>you start being nice to a guy
>then you guys become friends
>both of you are young and inexperienced, so both of you give each other unconscious cues that they want to move forward
>suddenly you become conscious and decide you don't want to be with him
you don't have to fuck every man you meet, but make sure THEY understands that
>but he wants a relationship
>so he decides to be nice with another girl
>who then become his friend
>who might probably become fuckbuddies
>if not rinse and repeat; see illustrated example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7FVmeJXwCY
>if he lands himself a fuckbuddy and wants to move forward with her to the relationship part, he needs to stop being nice to other girls because otherwise the main one will get jealous and won't trust him
>"hurr durr that guy just wanted to get inside my pants"
don't blame men on your innocence on how relationship are formed, he most-likely has a fuckbuddy who demands more attention
>but I never wanted anything to do with him
that is fine, no one is saying you should, but again, make sure HE understands that. The idea that men make "bad friends" when male friendships are several times more likely to get over a meaningless fight is pretty moronic, if you believe a guy is a "bad friend" because he doesn't flirt, court or toy with you anymore after you shut him off is just your unawareness of the nature the relationship B0TH of you formed. Guys are pretty straight forward, if he can gets in your pants,then he will try to get in your pants, if he can't, he will only stick around if you are interesting enough.

>>31439
>friend falls for you
while a young and inexperienced guy might fall over for you, why is he in the wrong to direct his attention to another girl if you decided to shut him off? You guys knew eachother for THREE years and you couldn't make him understand that he had no chance with you? If you made him pretty clear and he still insisted then it's obvious that he is a socipath and thus this has nothing to do with how the majority of men act.

>That one friend told me that his heart hurt when he looked at me and that he couldn't see me go on to date other guys.

Most men learn to deal with that sooner or later, so you shouldn't worry about him too much unless he isn't mentally sane, which brings me back to my original point, if a guy constinues to flirt and chase you and even stalk you after you have told him that you don't want to be with him then he is an extreme case who is not related to how a normal guy behaves

Anonymous 31540

>>31516
>guy wants a relationship
>men know that most relationships start as two people being nice to each other
>then they turn into friends
>then they turn into fuckbuddies
>then they turn into a couple

But that's generally not how relationships start now a days (based on the way you worded that). You cant just be nice to a girl and a good platonic friend and be disappointed when it eventually doesnt turn into anything. There absolutely needs to be attraction from both parties and at least mild flirting at the beginning. you can't just convince someone to like you over time romantically. I pity men who think befriending women who have no intention of dating/fucking them is going to work. Men need to understand this shit.

>You guys knew eachother for THREE years and you couldn't make him understand that he had no chance with you?

>suddenly you become conscious and decide you don't want to be with him
>you don't have to fuck every man you meet, but make sure THEY understands that
Ok these statements from you (most likely a dude) absolutely cement the fact that male friends are shite. How the fuck is it my fault that befriending men is "leading them on"? There is no "deciding not to be with him" we were friends from the beginning and i clearly had no attraction to him. But men think you can make a woman fall for you no matter what. Its ridiculous, and I'm saddened that he went through that.

Also, lmao am i supposed to tell every guy i befriend that "I will not fuck you and i am not interested in dating you"? Friendly male teasing is very similar to mild flirting. Men need to be forward whether they want to be "friends" or date because that's so scummy.

Anonymous 31541

Men are hardcoded to smash women.
That's why we're all alive, so all this manifesting from friendship shouldn't really be that strange.
If a man wants friends, it's pretty much other men all the time due to: interests, banter, way of speaking, no sexual friction, possessions, relatable, etc.
To break this barrier as a woman requires a lot of effort and interest, but it's really possible.

Anonymous 31542

>>31540
They don't know that it's hopeless until they try the being friends thing. The smart ones will move on when they know there will be no sex.



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