Do you consider yourself a femcel? Anonymous 61088
Well, do you?
i think the incel "women can't be incel because there's ALWAYS men who'd leap to have sex with them" canard is true, so fixating on pure carnal celibacy isn't psychologically relevant to a woman's loneliness and alienation. loveshyness and unloveability are relevant.
being a spinster has been a thing since the beginning of time so I think the label is stupid. but when people start talking to me about sex and romance I just want to throw my hands up and scream I'm a femcel.
You could make an argument for spinsters being closeted lesbians or asexuals.
yes but it'd be a tumblr argument
That's a fair argument, so, in your opinion, what's causes this loveshyness and unlovability?>>61149
I don't disagree with you but I also feel that at least a percentage of those women were indeed asexual/queers, but what about the rest of them? I don't think personality and looks mattered all that much for women's romantic prospects because there were some genuinely disgusting women like Ayn Rand who still had relationships.
i think it varies. ultimately, the men available to you are too repulsive to love or unable to love you. this is what comes to mind, divided into two sections:
- developmental problems and ugliness are all big ones, and are the most cruellest and insurmountable. men will have sex with these women, but will not love them affectionately.
- economic malaise, and the modern impossibility for most of the population to own their own homes. this means we have very reduced nesting instincts. we know we simply cannot build a stable family unit because we won't have the stable foundation of our own fixed dwelling. we're always going to be shuffling between renting shitty undersized dwellings, barred from painting our rooms and nailing stuff to the walls. how can we find a mate to nest with, when we can't settle in the way our cultural tells us to?
- population imbalance, which isn't a problem in the west today. but it was a problem historically, and it remains a problem in third world countries.
- mental illness leading to attachment problems. fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant women. the unrealistic, abstract obsessive romantic/ideological fixations found in satisfactorily attractive women who have stable economic lives. (this one is me, and most of cc.) fantasists and agoraphobes, basically.
- the age-old problem of the undesirability of the available men. the lizard shallow part of our brains, which cannot settle. the men who we find repulsive are often wildly attractive to se asian villager women. i know this, and still find them viscerally repulsive. it's not a part of your brain you can turn off.
Or perhaps, the men who date you see that you have issues.
I think blaming them for being repulsive or unable to love you is denial.
Take a good look at yourself and what you bring to the table in a relationship.
If you were a guy, would you date you?
What are your good points?
What are your bad points that make you undesirable to have a relationship with?
Work on the bad points while projecting the good points to the world.
>>61154>some genuinely disgusting women like Ayn Rand
I think you're seeing your first three points backwards.
- I've seen plenty of beautiful women who can easily get laid but can't get steady relationships due to her partner being unwilling, conversely, I've also seen plenty of couples where the woman or both the men and the women were unattractive, and they had a steady loving relationship.
- the idea of nesting is to nest with a couple, not only is it more economically feasible having two people contributing but it also makes live easier for the couple (sharing chores, for instance)
points, sorry, it's like 6 am here
That's really good advice, not just for dating but for life in general.>>61217
You're not seriously going to defend Ayn Rand are you?
Thanks. I have found that if you work on yourself, you notice 3 things
1. You start to see yourself in a new light. Not just another hopeless person struggling to make their way in life. i.e self confidence.
2. Other people start to see the good changes you are making, and respect you more. i.e less anxiety around others and more social interactions
3. Your mindframe shifts from being a victim of circumstance, to being the one person in your life who can make the most difference. i.e leadership.
The simple task of (personal example for me) getting up to exercise in the morning can lead to an avalanche effect that changes who you are for the better.
This is a thread about winning boys. Rand came up with a philosophy that boys like. Also, just look at that smile.
Rand is the Stacy's philosopher. Cope more, femcel.
you have to go back
If you're wanting to date men who like Ayn Rand you have shit taste in men
>>61250>implying you wouldn't a young Alan Greenspan
Look at that basic bitch face
This guy's ear makes his face look off or disproportionate somehow. Strange
Rand is a meme tier philosopher. The devilish handsome Harvard professor on this pic (and the guy that derailed the thread about dicks) are the real thing.
all true. i should particularly have added a point about cultural attitudes leading to men having no-commitment hookup culture attitudes to love, which is a common and very psychologically painful situation to be in.
on the subject of unattractive women who have happy relationships - absolutely. there are men with all the typical traits of incels who have plenty of enjoyable sex. we're generalising, here.
& yes, but you can't nest without somewhere to nest - the pleasure of making a home is really in having your own home, your own space that is really yours. getting married is a practical economic arrangement that leads to home ownership being easier. without the reward of home ownership, marriage is less enticing. i think it's one of many factors causing lower rates of marriage.>>61214
"work on yourself first" comes under the "mental illness" point. i don't mean men you would date, but the men who would happily love you, but who you literally could not entertain romantically without wanting to leave your skin. it's like, you will always be repulsed by the pakistani IT guy on okcupid messaging you with "hellO, very beautiful lady..,"
Not a femcel exactly but I am recluse and socially awkward. I've had boyfriends before and I don't hate men.
>>61143>the canard "women can't be incel because there's ALWAYS men who'd leap to have sex with them" is true
Is it tho?
Handsome but never understood his book.>>61359
So you're just an asocial prude.
how is she a prude when she's had boyfriends before?
kinda. I havent had a real relationship. im kinda ugly and socially inept and have avpd. i wish i had a bf or had a guy love me, but i hate male sexual nature. i dont think men are even capable of love.
If you're a woman having sex with a man, it's not even you using him to masturbate, it's him using you. There actually exist grown women who have never orgasmed before in their life because instead of just masturbating by themselves, which has a very high chance of giving you an orgasm, they decide to hookup with men, which has a very low chance of giving you an orgasm. Being a femcel is better than that.
>>103084>i dont think men are even capable of love.
This is your problem right here. And this is a stigma that warps mens minds and keeps them just as closed off because they then feel like it's natural and how they're supposed to be :/ Just hurts everyone full circle. Makes men confuse emotional and physical intimacy cause they've never experienced intimacy at all, cause people assume they can't.
sauce is having moid frends
Hm. I just take it to mean virgins. Whatever.
kinda, though i probably am more of a fakecel
Men would fuck a rotten corpse, so the definition of not being able to get sex when you want it doesn't apply to femcels. If the definition of femcel is someone who wants love but can't get it, many women are femcels.
I've been volcel for years at this point
But I just suddenly got the crush fever hard on someone wnd it's really difficult
She speaks true IMHO, femcel is different than incel because dating/sexual dynamics are different for males and females.>>62014
yes, most moids will have sex with just about any woman who will have them.
They will not, however, get into an actual relationship with just any woman and it's extremely possible to ruin any shot at a relationship with a moid by being "too easy".
It's an extremely frustrating balance between avoiding being "too easy" and "too hard" that's, IMHO, more trouble that most moids are worth.
Go back to instagram, Stacy.
A lot of incels still count themselves as incels if they can get a faithful wife because it's "betabuxxing".
incels think most women are ugly and just think they deserve women who are branded as a trophy by society (white, big tits, skinny, blonde, or asian, etc) and instead of finding beauty in other women who aren't that they just stand around bitching and blaming everyone else for their closed mind and broken penis. When they do find actual attractive women that fall outside of these standards, those women end up leaving them anyway because who would want to date a guy who's preference is everything you aren't? I'm middle eastern and I'd die of embarrassment if I dated a guy who blasts everywhere about how he exclusively like blondes or asians. Why would you want to feel unattractive to the one person who is supposed to find you attractive ?
tbh i used to consider myself one but i think it’s because i has really low confidence and bad anxiety
a year ago i met someone who boosted my confidence and i improved my anxiety and finally started having sex
it was kinda a mindset thing for me
most cels are Schrodinger's cels.
No because I'm not a virgin.
But if I was a virgin, I still don't know, because while I'm pretty weird and don't relate to other people at all, I do know how to fit in when I have to and I can manage to do so. However, I don't see a point in doing so unless it's at a job.
More like asexual volcel. Thinking about doing sexual things with a real person and the thought of a real person thinking of doing sexually things with me makes me gag.
if there are obvious differences in women/men socialization/dating experience how can we categorize a femcel?
i'm talking about my ass here but here's my idea (since its true scrotes will throw their peens at any woman willing to accept it, but the majority of men are genuinely disgusting, especially these ones)
I think femcel includes
- women who get male attention, but only from undesirable males (ie. ugly, mentally ill, stupid, crazy, desperate, that sort)
- women who get no male attention
- never had a boyfriend
FEMCELS MUST HATE MEN. You can't be a femcel and be like "wah wah not all men". Yes, all men.
what do fellow miners think… since the difference between male and female dating opportunities and the desperation of males vs. women is obvious… how do we characterize it?
talking OUT my ass not ABOUT my ass LMAOO
>>61143>women can't be incel because there's ALWAYS men who'd leap to have sex with them
yeah but then they will say that having sex with a prostitute isn't the same and doesn't make THEM not an incel if they have that, because they know it's more about having loving relationships they desire than sex itself, so this argument is bullshit anyway
Agreed. Paying for it shouldn't count any more than being approached by some fatso homeless person who reeks of piss and garbage. Normal standards should always apply.
>>112605>about my ass
okay this is just my opinion on things, not saying it's gospel
personally, I think a femcel is just any female virgin in her 30s+, if you're in your 20s you're just a virgin mate
people say "volcel" (like myself about myself since I'm not a virgin, a lot of my friends are though) but at the end of the day there are always reasons for being celibate and sex doesnt endlessly exist pouring out of a spout for women like most retard "wizzies" who coined this terminology and the various rules around the words think. "Oh you can be attacked because 99% of men want sex? then you cant be femcel! youre just picky!" Crazy old world. If you're in your 30 or 40s, lurking here, and haven't had sex, it's fair to say you're a femcel because the reason for that to be voluntary are usually because of how gruesomely disgusting men can treat women, which isn a truly voluntary situation for us, is it? (I'm straight but Im still not blind, men treat you like shit, no questions about it, even/especially if you're hot.)
samefag, I typed like a moid please dont report my dumb take please, wanted to add Im in my mid 20s but most of the women i look up to are older virgins, they seem to have their shit together and most of my relatives that lived to be extremely old (90s, 100s) attritube this to not wasting energy on men (for whatever individually circumstantial reason.) All still femcels.
i do semi-ironically but i'm scared it'll be unironic down the line
can confirm this is exactly what I saw in incel circles. bundles of fakecels.
how they get out of it is claiming any ugly man dating isn't being genuinely loved by their partner.
tbh I'm almost 30. I have been talking to a guy for many years online and might meet up with him soon. He says I just have the worst case of BDD he's ever seen. But guys irl have said I look like a tranny (most of them were shorter than me) and fugly. I regularly experience abusive language like this. A guy has never talked to me for the sake of it.
I don't really consider myself a femcel despite never experiencing any romantic or sexual attention irl but absolutely I think being femcel pretty much comes down to men viscerally finding you offputting/ugly in a way that you would struggle to find one that genuinely values you. Like we all know men would fuck anything and that this in itself is idiotic to value whatsoever–even if they insist otherwise.
also I think a lot of old women are functional femcels because they have almost no leverage in the dating market–even if they aren't a virgin. The sole reason why men would even show them attention is out of desperation, not genuine crushes or affection.
As if old sixty year-old men have all this leverage in the same market. The people who claim that older men have all this leverage rely on sexist and misogynist tropes about gold digging young women.
they don't. They're usually coping because only a very small amount of men age and 1. are good looking enough still not to come up like mega creeps to young women and/or 2. have money/status (which I'm sorry but happens–there's a lot of celebrity creeps with a history of being a creep still getting gfs)….alternatively 3. actually be a good option but god knows that's rare as fuck.
in any case we all can rest assured the majority of those men will viscerally be seen as leering Frollo-looking rats to young girls. a lot of them even have to rely on manipulation and gullibility even when they do have things going for them too.
oh, also, single middle aged women seem to be happier and better off than single middle aged men on average. it's why I can say stuff like >>112834
pretty smoothly. men are the ones whining about men having a loneliness epidemic. they bring it on themselves.
and you can just as easily argue that there is no such thing as a male incel because they all have access to prostitutes. The involuntary aspect of celibacy is more circumstantial than material.
As an aside, I don't necessarily think this situation needs to claim the femcel label but I think there's this phenomenon where we date in our early twenties, get a bit burned by the whole ordeal, and then begin got come to terms with singlehood in a very self-defining way. I don't know what this can even be called, but I am noticing a pattern with myself and a few of my acquaintances. Standards go up with the experience, the naiive romanticism evaporates in the dry heat of adulthood, obligations, etc. I've been throwing myself into hobbies all the harder because of this, and now I can't really imagine myself dating anyone because I want to just make the most of my life where I know I actually can control for more variables. I can't guarantee myself a husband, but I can plan for other facets of my future and this is enough of a distraction to keep me (mostly) contented. It does get lonely, but I have to just make the most of what I have going on.
you have a point.
I have known a few so-so looking, very awkward girls that ended up finding guys finally in their mid-late 20s…most of them ended up worse for it because it turned out they had all sorts of pre-existing issues that made them vulnerable to questionable or abusive guys (mind you, most of them came off as nice at first) and often unable of valuing themselves enough to leave. Or, they literally had no money to leave.
All of them ignored the feedback that they should get a safety and support network beforehand, and pretty much stopped talking to the few people they knew beforehand. They all seemed to have this mental block continuously telling them that everything would fall into place if they found someone. It was depressing.
This actually makes a lot of sense
>>112604>FEMCELS MUST HATE MEN.
why, 'cos you said so? :^)
^^^^^^^^^ This. Retards who say all men are evil have never been raised by an abusive mother. Fuck off
thinking all men are bad =/= thinking all women are good
I have been raised by an abusive mother and I think all men are scum. Nice false equivalence tho, moron
Yeah…I mean I get called a NEET a lot I play league of legends and Osu so..I’m pretty much though bottom Of the barrel
i didnt until i started listening to boyfriend audios on youtube
I’m a female volcel (a vemcel..)
I have a boyfriend whom I love. After the honeymoon period concluded it slowly came to light that neither of us are very good at sexually satisfying the other and neither of us have much of a sex drive anyway, so we have just mutually agreed that sex doesn’t really need to be part of our relationship.
don't care for labels much but maybe if i was a few years younger i would've. i've never been intimate with any guy irl or really had any of them show much interest in me. i've had an online relationship, but we never met. when i was younger i thought i was very ugly and that was why men didn't really interact with me, now i think i'm attractive though. i just find it difficult to approach and talk with men. maybe if i was desperate i'd try out a dating app but i don't have any interest in relationships right now, nor in having sex. i think meeting with the intention of dating right off the bat is odd anyway, ideally i'd meet some guy irl who i could befriend for some years and then blossom a romance with
Do I count as a femcel if the only reason I'm not in a relationship right now is because I'm middle eastern and my dad would honor kill me if i even breathed in the direction of a man? I love my dad but I'm 21 and I'm constantly cuntblocked by him and by his retarded religion.
Pic unrelated but I would risk it all for him.
Dang, good luck to you anon, it does't sound easy
Must leave ASAP. Leave the country, as quick as possible. Good god I would hate that douche.
Idk how you can even love him. Having a muslim
dad sounds terrifying
>>61154>I don't think personality and looks mattered all that much for women's romantic prospects because there were some genuinely disgusting women like Ayn Rand who still had relationships.
She didn't have romantic partners, she was in a jewish, libertarian, sex cult. It's pretty different from what you want.
Don't fall for men's "we are less picky than the evil shallow wimminz" crap.
Practice gfs are such a fucked up thing. Going into a relationship you know you will end from the start.
I've seen male incels claim that it's not about just
having sex, it's about being desired by someone and having sex or a relationship without coercion or money being involved.
Research on "involuntary celibates" had already been done in the 90s IIRC>>119143
But many relationships start while one or both partners know that it will eventualy end. Usually because they don't plan on spending their whole life with the next person they meet, or because they don't believe in eternal love, or for some other reason that has nothing to do with "practicing" to get an "upgrade" later.
At least those other reasons aren't as cruel as this one.
Moid from the post has fried his brain on video games logic. "Practice girlfriend" lmao. You just know the guy who wrote this is also a 6/10 at best.
Not really, but I am self isolated.
I see it mostly as an ego and hypocrisy thing, less a desperation over genuine human connection thing. They desperately want to posture to other men that they fuck and had to do nothing
to get there. Why? Because that's a narcissist's wet dream.
They want a woman to be a total "slut" for them, while they also express hatred and disdain for any woman that expresses any sort of desire or sexuality that doesn't include them. And, also, they'd also hate and disrespect a woman that genuinely desired them. I base this off of stories of ascended incels and how they often talk about their gfs–they exhibit obvious hatred for women that are actually into them or complain about how she's not cute enough.
No because I have a boyfriend who isn't ugly and I have a sex life. Also other people are interested in me apart from my relationship if me and bf break up. I'm gonna be honest though. I am socially retarded. I only have a sex life because I have a nice body and am a yes-man. Good luck girls.
>>122651>I base this off of stories of ascended incels
where can I find them ? incels.co ?
I relate to femcels mostly. I'm sure I'd be called one by some people, lol.
Instead of catcalls I got screams about how ugly I was when I was young (dogcalls? idk) from grown men. And I was beaten up by a group of skinhead boys in high school laughing and asking when I'd shoot up the school while saying I looked like a fugly freak. The only boy that I heard people say was ugly fake asked me out (I said yes btw, we talked so much about our favorite sci-fi book series in class, I seriously regret it) as a joke…him and his friends laughed at me afterwards.
The only thing that kept me confident and not thinking about how I looked in grade school was just loving my friends and my hobbies. Then at age 20 I saw the first video of myself…hunchbacked, frowny, crooked-toothed and tall, looking sinister as Jafar in a group of otherwise normal-looking girls that had been shared around the entire school and everyone had been making fun of me (no, really, THIS WAS COLLEGE).
Everything clicked and from there I degraded quickly. Lots of stuff happened and…I broke a few bones from a failed suicide, yada, yada. A lot of stuff actually was bad in my life, not just that.
And then things just…stilled over a course of a few years.
To most mens' standards I'm probably old, and unlike before I don't hear insults anymore. I hear compliments about my looks and many "omg you look like a model!" from (usually older) women, which I'm sure happens to everyone, but it's at least an improvement over before where I never heard anything good.
Also, yes, I'm a kissless virgin, though I realize I've never felt bad over that. It feels very…safe. I'm making some serious money at a business I started after years of depressed neetdom and I'm finding some joy in some silly little everyday things. At least the pain is mostly gone and on a lot of days I feel like I'm just floating through life.
Being able to be alone, as a boring person with no personality is kind of comfy.
Did those piece of shit college students face any consequenses?
Gosh this one is heartbreaking. You sound - for want of a more specific word - resilient, not at all like you have no personality if I'm honest, but that's just from the tone of your post that I say this, maybe you are a robot beneath it kek. I hope you have a great, well-deserved life, you sound like a good "member of society" and should stick around until you're 180 to spite those idiots
>>112604>- women who get male attention, but only from undesirable males (ie. ugly, mentally ill, stupid, crazy, desperate, that sort)
yeah that's me. I'm ugly and stupid too so I guess it's fair but the only moids who have approached me are desperate, immature incels. Most of them are horrible human beings too so I'm doomed
then no women is femcel kek
im sorry but i'm really new to all this, what's a moid?
Yeah women should forget that men make up the majority of violent criminals
I'm sorry all that happened to you. I have an eerily similar story. It's nice that you're mostly doing better now. Do you still dream about finding love one day, or are you glad to be alone?
Femcel implies the same thing as incel, wich would mean "women who can't have sex with men". I don't consider myself a femcel. I don't need scrotes, sex from scrotes or anything from them at this matter. I would better call myself a spinster. Or even better: moid disrespecter.
I like the term "female separatist" too. It fits me well.
I think I probably am a femcel, but I'm not a KHV or anything. If I had been straight, I could probably get into a relationship or have sex easily. Meanwhile as a lesbian, my datingpool is tiny and trying to have a conversation on dating apps is like pulling teeth. Scrote incels should stfu, it's much more difficult for lesbians than for them. Straight women's standards are abysmal, the bar is on the floor and yet scrote incels still can't meet it. A lot of lesbians are picky af, at least nowadays. It might be caused by the meatmarket that is dating apps. I don't have massive standards personally, I have been attracted to women of all sorts of weights, aesthetics, ethnicities, heights, whatever, but many women will get turned off because you're 5% too butch or 5% too femme for them. Which is silly imo, but to each their own. I'm not going to get angry at other women over this, I'm not entitled to anything. I'll try to move to a bigger city eventually and get fitter.
yeah but in a sexually active way
I just don’t want to even use dating apps anymore, since I could be reading profiles carefully and writing thoughtful messages all day, and it doesn’t make any difference. No dates, ever.
At most some messages back and forth until she ghosts or clearly stops being interested. It’s discouraging, and really stresses me out.
>>112802>female virgin in her 30s+
That's just a Christmas cake/spinster/old maid etc, a femcel is a catch-all for any age group
I hate how they call older women who are virgins or still not married "Christmas cake". We are all humans not objjects, our value doesn't fall as we age. I regret being born a woman, but I'm happy I'm not from the lesser sex.
is it me or incels think there's some sort of special status to being an incel? talk about egoistic, kek.
Sorry if this is too ot, but I have family friends who I have known since I was a kid from our parents being in the same community. Out of all of them, I'm the only one who still hasn't had a boyfriend. I was always the odd one out too (emo phase in middle school, didn't go to prom, didn't get invited to parties, etc.) I guess I'm a volcel(?), but I wonder if my friends secretly feel sorry for me when ours moms talk and there still hasn't been any mention of a boyfriend yet lol. Like, "oh that's too bad she's always going to be kind of a loser."
I just want you to know this was an insightful and useful read. Thank you!
Have you heard of the halo effect?
I jokingly call myself that because I spend so much time online and I had no idea how to talk to other people when I was younger.
I'm somehow in a relationship so no I'm not a femcel.