/b/ - Random

i actually quite like edating. it's good when it lasts and you have a good partner. i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we actually are making plans to meet up december. he's way better than any guy i'd meet irl, they're all gross as fuck and boring.

What the fuck is edating? Meeting guys on Discords or what?

>>78129
e-dating I believe so internet dating

What is e-dating, you mean like a long distance relationship?

>>78127
Have you been dating for 2 years or is that just how long you've known each other? If it's the former then how did you manage to keep the relationship together for that long without having met up?

I think e-dating only works if and when:

>you meet before you become official
>you can meet on a semi-regular basis, at least a few times a year
>at least one of you is willing and able to move to be with the other in the future

if it's a regular long-distance relationship then it can work and the internet is an amazing place to meet someone and get to know them without pressure and masking. But it can't just be an online relationship in which you ignore the real-life framework of a relationship and just use each other for escapism/settling.

>tfw I only get along with internet types but they always live super far away or hang out on 4chan too much

where do you even set this up?, dont tell me /soc/

>>78509
If anyone recommends /soc/ to you, block them and never look back.

I met my ex through a hobby project, generally you'll want to look for things to do together as opposed to places for socializing. Working on something with a group of people helps you get to know each other without pressure or expectations and you'll see how they really are when they're not trying to impress you.

>>78448
Stupid accurate on needing that touch part of the relationship. I feel a lot of online relationships fail because they're not physically enough with their partner.
>>78520
Soc is a shit hole, never go there.

>>78509
I met mine on /r9k/. I would lurk threads for people to post tags and sometimes ask in threads. I think I was extremely lucky with the bf I found, he's not at all the typical robot nor is he a normie. It's hard to explain without going into detail but I feel really grateful and lucky.

>>78597
There are men on r9k who collect gfs and then share their nudes. I feel bad for you and anyone else who has fallen for this. There's a reason they are looking for women there and not irl.

>>78599
You can't generalize that hard, i'm sharing my experience. We talked for over a year before I ever face posted and even longer before I gave him any nudes.

>>78602
>>78599
I think both of you are right.
On one hand, I met my ex on r9k, we talked pretty much every day for half a year before he ever saw a photo of my face and he never asked for one either. He asked to vc once or twice because we were both trying to work on that but he never pushed. He's a failed normie khv who doesn't like porn and is, all things considered, wholesome and sweet. We kind of e-dated for a year and he always remained that way, we ended things for different reasons, being unable to meet irl due to Covid being one of them.

However I have to admit that his being on /r9k/ did put me off and I never really got 100% over it despite me hanging out there too occasionally (I just think men and women have different reasons to go there so I can justify scrolling the catalog once a week), and it's extremely rare to find someone like this. The vast majority of robots are beyond hope and I distrust them just for being on that board. Other 4chan boards are ok but I side-eye that too.

>>78620
>being unable to meet irl due to Covid being one of them.
But Covid is temporary. I don’t get ending relationships for temporary problems.

It’s normal. Get on Vrchat and see

>>78623
It's been a year and meeting is necessary to confirm feelings. I don't want to start a relationship with a phantom that I have never met, and it would have been his first relationship and I didn't want him to be the guy who says "yeah I have a gf now no she doesn't live on my continent no we've never met". It's just sad. We still spend just as much time together as before and are close. We're still going to meet when it's possible, and see where we go from there. Like I said Covid wasn't the only reason.

I met a guy I'm really close with on /soc/. We've been talking for almost a year now. My experience with him hasn't been bad at all and when we first started talking we instantly clicked. I think I was one of the rare lucky ones like >>78597

>>78632
vrchat is not normal

Meh I've only ever edated but I've started to feel completely distant and detached from my bf as I feel like I can't be myself/be vulnerable. I guess that's less to do with it being online and more to do with my own personal issues though

>>78632
common is not the same thing as normal

>>78713
nothing about modern life is normal
are you going to live your life picking berries in the forest?

Edating is good for meeting new people. More interesting types too.

>>78641
/soc/ is definitely the biggest dice roll because it has the largest mix of people. You have normies who somehow found their way there that are impossible to relate to, you have failed normies who are always extremely boring, you get the creeps who are just desperate for any kind of female attention, you get incels who want to use you to validate their hate for women, there are people who are just way too mentally ill to be decent friends with, etc. /r9k/ isn't that much better but just from my experience, while it's rarer to find as many people posting tags they typically at least have more of a personality. A lot of them still end up being creeps or incels

Am I the only one who doesn't mind lack of physical presence? I feel like a freak. I get it in the sense of not liking the uncertainty of how physical contact with them will feel until you meet, but I don't relate to being miserable from lacking that. Yeah I look forward to when we'll be able to meet and touch and am excited about it but I've never in my life missed physical touch when I'm not getting it. It's just not a problem to me. It's not that I don't care about sex, but I feel pretty fulfilled with regular phone/video sex in terms of feeling sexually connected. My bf has expressed the same sentiment and I was skeptical at first since I know how moids are supposed to be but I've come to believe him. I'm not sure how we found each other because it feels like literally no one else is like this sometimes. Maybe I'm just too disconnected from reality.

/soc/ is fine. You should be cautious in general though, and I would say moreso there. It's a lot better to add people than to be added on there. I wouldn't reccommend anybody (especially women) to post their tag, and if one does for whatever reason (nobody in her area or looking for what she is), she should make a throwaway discord account.


Never put too much identifying details about yourself on there. If a guy wants a photo but doesn't want to video chat, he's a catfish.


Always run their tag through the archives or google in general. Be weary of someone who posts frequently.


If while talking there's something big they didn't put in their post comes up (I've met people who claim to look like this or that but don't, aren't actually as they put their personality down, biggest offenders were ones not mentioning they were disabled) just drop them. Tell them to be honest and then bye.

edating is just a long running erp with added gaslighting, it only makes you touch starved and is a gateway to maladaptive daydreaming which is very bad for your mental well being and for your life and productivity, at least in real life relationship you can touch, smell, and feel the other person, there are so many physical aspects and signals that edating can never achieve.

speaking from experience nothing ruined my life like edating did, my days were wasted between waiting for him to answer and daydreaming for hours without getting much done, it leaves a hole eventually and it takes a lot of time to heal and get back on track. if you can't date irl dont edate because its worse and you're better off investing your time and energy somewhere else.

and for the confused anons edating means just having an online relationship where it stays there unlike ldr where you meet when you can.

>>79273
I mean I don't think you're totally wrong about the downsides but that sounds a bit more like a problem with you than a problem with edating as a whole

>>79273
How about tasting the other person?

>>79273
>edating is just a long running erp with added gaslighting
Sounds like projection, not all people’s relationships are shitshows.
>speaking from experience
Lol, yep.

>>79328
Idk, I think anon has a point. If you're e-dating without the option to meet, you're spending potentially years of your life prioritizing the idea of someone (that may or may not turn out to be the real deal but you don't know until you've met them) over the reality of life experience. I'm okay with my relationships being 90% online but I need to have them grounded in reality so I know that we really like each other. I think it's a bit of a philosophical difference here - I think some anons, especially those without major relationship experience, prefer the safety net of being strictly online because it's more of a fantasy. I also think it's a safety net in that you can always leave, you don't have to share a bathroom, you avoid a lot of the nasty relationship things.

I don't want to sound like an old crone warning the young'uns that people on the internet aren't real. I believe in falling in love online. I just believe there has to be confirmation at some point. Otherwise you're risking a lot of wasted time. My relationships have been pretty good, both online and irl, but I definitely wish that instead of spending most of my social life online I'd made some connections irl or transferred online connections there. I'm still lacking a lot of social life skills and relationship skills.

I dont want to date anyone it sounds tedious…. 95% of men are so unattractive to me. I would just be lying to myself.

I’ve tried online dating websites and haven’t had any good experiences due to lack of connection and/or attraction. I find most guys on there immature, demanding and impatient. “Be serious and reply to my texts asap” or “meet me asap.” I vowed never to use online dating websites again. Better to meet someone through connections, work, friends and so on.

>>79332
ur right, but a lot of the time people don't rlly take edating seriously. they mostly just say they love each other for no reason, and date just to date. its rlly just for fun n theres nothing wrong about that i think