/b/ - Random

Dilf/Milf hunting is my god given right and I won't let you take it away from me.

No but seriously I understand being a woman is fucking hard and I struggle with personal desire vs larger societal context a lot. But the answer can't be to put down individual women for "being enablers". It just seems like another way to blame men being shitty on women.

It feels like there is no winning sometimes. If you're modest in public you're playing into tradwife fantasy that hurts women and if you express your sexuality you are doing it for male attention/the male gaze. I wish my existence didn't have to constantly be defined via my relationship to men and their gaze.

I know the OP didn't say anything about liking older men in general, just shitty men, but I have seen guys use the mere existence of women like me to justify their creepy behaviour towards younger girls. It feels like OPs post was an extension of that.

I just want to express my individual sexuality without it being used to comment on every woman on the planet.

>>83820
>Dilf/Milf hunting is my god given right
Anon… tell me your secrets.

>>83820
>>83801
>But the answer can't be to put down individual women for "being enablers".
This. I think judging and shaming women actually backfires since taboo carries a lot of sexual energy. Shamed women will feel bad about themselves, but they'll also get off on it and rebel even harder.

I feel like having a healthy relationship yourself (while not acting smug and superior about it) could serve as a model for for other women in your life. Be the change you want to see in the world, or whatever…

>>83801
Well I see it as those women exercising their freedom which is a good thing. It can be hard but I believe the proper thing to do is just leave them alone and let them live their lives. If it is a friend or loved one you probably have a duty to let them know you're concerned if they're getting involved with some predatory man but otherwise just let them be. When in doubt just remember that feminism is about womens freedom before it is about acting a particular way.

>>83824
I think feminism should move past the point of women's freedoms. Girls are free to make all kinds of mistakes these days. I don't want freedom for freedom's sake, I want to use that freedom to find happiness and meaning.

Maybe I'm just a prude, but I'd like to see a new kind of temperance movement where women CHOOSE to be modest and traditional. Because sometimes it feels like women's sexual liberation is just a direct rebellion against patriarchal expectations. Which means we're still being controlled by men– we're not doing what they want, but the exact opposite. Honestly feels stifling sometimes because it feels like girls are silently judging me for being submissive to the patriarchy or something. Maybe I just wanted to be this way, ever think of that?? Sorry I know this rant isn't directly related to your post but I just had to vent.

>>83828
I mean women were always expected to CHOOSE temperance. The consequences were just harsh for not choosing it. I think dichotomy between modest/traditional and "sexually liberated" is the problem. Moids have never been expected to be either of those things in regard to their sexuality. They have always been able to choose to live a life of vice or not and it's just not seen the same way at all. We don't need to be madonnas or whores we should just be able to exist.

>>83828
You're fine it's actually very feminist to not objectify yourself anon, not very feminist to make yourself a tradwife on the other hand but that's ok not everything has to be praxis
Sexual liberation got ruined by men and libfems who turned it into a fuck everyone sex work is work situation, solidifying the thought that women are something to be bought and sold, like what happened with the free love movement
We need to ask who benefits from promoting hypersexuality to women and girls? You're right about men being the reason but it's not a rebellion it's exactly what they want

>>83838
What really needs to happen is the end of objectifying women's sexuality. It's fine for women to enjoy sex but it needs to be a choice made with agency. I'm sure it is for some women but for a lot of women today it really does seem to just be self-objectification to fit in.

>>83829
Ever notice how moids are actually celebrated for either choice? Sexual moids are ladies men and abstainers are virtuous and self-disciplined. While we get criticized no matter what we do.

>>83838
Wow, good point. I wonder if there are actually girls out there who are hypersexual and genuinely happy. It seems like hypersexuality tends to come from childhood traumas. But instead of treating it as an illness, people encourage it as an expression of freedom. But I stopped saying that kind of stuff out loud because I didn't want anyone calling me a churchmarm.

>>83843
Generally overindulging in anything is a sign you have a problem. There's definitely a line between a healthy but high libido and hypersexuality.

>>83843
The world hates women

>>83843
>virtuous and self-disciplined
Do they? In my experience male and female volcels aren't treated much differently.

>>83842
I think another reason some women seek out a lot of sexual partners is because they lack self-worth and need constant external validation. And of course these sexual encounters never give them real self-confidence, they just end up feeling even more degraded and even get turned on by it. It's high key self harm if we're being honest.

>>83846
In modern times I don't think it's as true, since society has become hypersexual. But in the past chaste men could be respected (while at the same time no one really cared too much if they broke those constraints because "men will be men"). Women had to be chaste to be even moderately (respected) and were pariahs if anyone even suspected otherwise.

>>83822
What the fuck is that fucked up way of going about things?
Following this logic you can say putting in place laws only encourages criminals to break them therefore we should abolish the laws.
>>83820
>If you're modest in public you're playing into tradwife fantasy
No, you are just being a decent human. The fact that some might fetishize that is no reason to not do that.

>>83829
>Moids have never been expected to be either of those things in regard to their sexuality. They have always been able to choose to live a life of vice or not and it's just not seen the same way at all.
That has only became true recently.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rake_(stock_character)

>>83850
Go away, moid.

>>83852
Not everyone disagreeing with you is a moid.

>>83853
On the off-chance that a stupid woman like you actually exists, shut up. You're just a pickme for trad guys.

Oh, and go shove the "just being a decent human being" shit up your ass. Go spout your tranny language somewhere else.

>>83855
You sound like a falselflagging moid yourself at this point.

>>83855
based femanon

>>83855
No need to get so upset. Just please clarify what you mean by
>You're just a pickme for trad guys.
Do you suggest people should be sexually provocative just to spite 0.1% of men who fetishize "trad wife" image?

>>83822
>Shamed women will feel bad about themselves, but they'll also get off on it and rebel even harder.
I think this is a very America and modern outlook on things. Shame worked as a social punishment for thousands of years. It still works, just look at how few daughters date their fathers. It's because it's gross and shameful.

I think ultimately OP, there's only one way to to deal with these kinds of women. I let them know that I'm here to help/support them should they ever want to come back into the fold of sisterhood and self respect, but that otherwise they're not good for me or my energy and I just don't talk/interact with them.

>>83843
I wonder this myself because I have literally never known a single woman who was promiscuous (minimum seven partners before 30) who did not go through some serious trauma as a child.

>>83882
Right? It feels like a cry for help. And yet we're told that it's normal and healthy to do that.

>>83881
>It still works, just look at how few daughters date their fathers. It's because it's gross and shameful.
I don't think shame is the only thing holding them back. I think most fathers and daughters just aren't sexually attracted to each other.

>>83885
This. It’s inherently disgusting to want to fuck your father. People shame for good reasons sometimes and I trust basic human instinct to kick in eventually. Don’t butter this slope and tell me it’s slippery

So weird this was mentioned even. Methinks we have a bedicked visitor with a fetish among us.

>>83801
I was a pickme in my early 20s because I genuinely believed men could be my friends. Orbiters who want to fuck you will tolerate a lot more shit than regular women, and I subconsciously knew that and was afraid of befriending other women and having them call me out on my bullshit. It didn't help that I grew up with an abusive stepmother and a distant, but overly doting father. I feel like this mentality was ingrained from the beginning (women = scary and mean, men = kind and forgiving). It wasn't until I started lurking female oriented spaces on the internet that I realized how wrong I was. Women are seriously fun to be around. I feel like welcoming pickmes is the only solution. Belittling them and being unsympathetic only reenforces their beliefs that they can only be loved by men.

>>83904
Agreed. I think most women were programmed since youth to be pickmes, so I don't blame them for it (the younger ones, anyway).

So did you know the whole time that these male friends were orbiters who wanted to fuck you? Or was that a realization you made later?

>>83801
I don't think there's anything you can do other than ignoring them and weeding them from your life. They won't change their behaviors just because you talk to them. In the worst case, they'll side with/defend men and call you jealous, narrow-minded and whatnot and gossip with their moids behind your back.

>>83821
For women I just set my age bracket on tinder from 30-50, it's largely going to be women out traveling (least in my area. Sadly I'm too rural to have actual lesbian/wlw meeting spots). I have met one or two divorcees who wanted to experiment too, those are fun to flirt with. Tbqh never actually hooked up with any of them.
>still regret not going for that 40 year old divorcee who said she had a fetish for incestplay

Men are pretty easy, 30-40 something year old bachelors are a dime a dozen. Just don't expect too much from them. Honestly, joking and kinks aside, I had the best experiences with someone in their late 20s who genuinely likes you and is decent at playing out the older gentleman role. More of a roleplay at that point but it's nice to have consistency.

>>83904
>It didn't help that I grew up with an abusive stepmother and a distant, but overly doting father.
hello cinderella

>>83966
>bisexual Stacy
I want to be you when I grow up

>>83911
Both. It's hard to comprehend how stupid I was back then, but when I was younger I genuinely thought I "just got along better with boys" lmao. It wasn't until I got a boyfriend and they all turned awkward/aggressive about it that I realized. But by then I had already dug my grave, and I continued to befriend males for years because I knew I didn't have to do anything to receive their kindness/attention, simply existing was enough. It took a long time for me to realize that fake friendship is worth less than nothing and that males aren't even that fun to be around anyways. Once the validation high wears off it's so obvious. I wish I could reach out to other girls/women who feel that way, but they're really defensive. It's easier to tell yourself that you're "not like the other girls" than to admit that you have faults that males are ignoring because they don't even see you as fully human. I see a lot of vitriol online for nlogs (and they're annoying at best and throwing women as a class under the bus for their own egos at worst so I get it) but I know they're hurting inside and that bullying them only confirms their fucked worldview.

>>83966
Its funny because I had two stepsisters too, and my stepmom would sometimes bring that up to mock me into feeling guilty for being unhappy. "I bet you think you're just like Cinderella, don't you?" And then she'd laugh in this way that made me feel so stupid and embarrassed even though I never even made the connection myself (because my sisters weren't mean at all). Honestly seeing that word still makes me feel ashamed. I don't know if you were making a general observation or making fun of me tbh. Sorry for sperging. In the end it turned out she resented me for having a good relationship with my dad because her childhood was truly horrific, so it all goes back to men being shit anyways kek.

>>83881
I don't date my dad because he's my dad and I would be repulsed by the idea of that whether it was socially acceptable or not, wtf are you talking about? You sound so fucking creepy

>>83843
I haven't known any hypersexual women that were happy and healthy. I went through a hypersexual phase after being heavily traumatized and it was a form of self harm because I always felt 2000% more isolated and hopeless afterwards. I have a friend who went through sexual abuse who is even more hypersexual than I was and she admitted to me that she doesn't even enjoy the sex. It's depressing because I know she is hurting herself just like I was, but me saying that would never register for long enough to make an impact and all of her other friends encourage her because they think she's just wild and "getting hers".

I used to be an NLOG. I wouldn't ever talk about how I was "not like other girls", but I genuinely believed that other girls had nothing in common with me. I liked robots, mecha, and various other male-oriented anime/video games. I didn't really use that to get attention, it was more just a stupid belief I had.

I started off innocent and didn't have any leanings towards male or female friends, but after I lost weight and started posting pictures of myself online, I had males constantly interacting with me and adding me because of my hobbies and gender. I ended up being smack in the middle of 4chan browsing, incel communities when they were all pretty young and hadn't figured out they were incels yet and were still mostly simp-y nerds. They treated me well and made me feel interesting, whereas other women in those communities were usually very openly hostile towards me, so I began to be conditioned to think that men were good friends and women hated me. I even became very close friends with a large group of guys in another country, and we would skype almost every night.

To avoid writing any more of an essay than I already have, I basically stopped being an NLOG when I started expressing my more feminine interests and learning that guys only liked me when I mirrored what THEY liked and acted like a "lesser" version of themselves, and I learned that the women I met were fucking awful because they were pick-mes, not because they were women. I also learned that there are PLENTY of women that like the same things as me, I just hadn't met them because I was knee-deep in a metaphorical septic tank they didn't want to be a part of. I also stepped away from trying to relate to men after they began severely harming me mentally and physically. I now pretty much only associate with women and take pride in how much I have in common with other women.

>>84299
Deep insights from this, thank u for pointing out how often times it is only what you mirror THEIR likeness of that brings them any remote interest other than (and usually) sexual interest.

>>84265
Aw man, sorry for being careless. I didn't think cinderella could ever be used in a negative way since it's a beautiful princess so it was just supposed to be a lighthearted observation. Really sorry if I brought up negative emotions.

>>84305
you're welcome anon, and yes men are incredibly self-centered and generally expect women to just be lesser clones of themselves. You need to be smart, but not as smart as them, you need to like everything they like, but know less about it than them, you need to have the same hobbies, but be just a little bit worse at them, etc. etc.
Also, how many women do you know that genuinely got into some new game, or show, or hobby for their boyfriend/husband, versus men that did the same thing for their girlfriend/wives?