College/Uni feels Anonymous 10
Share the good, the bad, and hell of pursuing a degree. Whether it be living in a dorm with a horrible roommate, classes kicking your ass, or something happening relating to school that has filled you with joy.
i thought i was going to be relaxing all summer (hanging out with friends, learning at my own pace, etc.) but now i have to take classes, work, and volunteer with my student organization all of june. not to mention try to get us sponsors.
i got rejected for a student research opportunity, but i'm aiming for another. i only have one more summer and i really want to intern at google but i don't know if i'll learn enough over the summer to even be considered. i feel like i really lagged behind of my potential and i should've broken up with my shitty, loser ex earlier. fuck.
I want to go back to uni so badly its completely ridiculous.
Tried to work for a year, got my ass fired from an advertising agency bc I'm a depressive fuck who doesnt belong with the high-potential cokeheads who live for their job. Now I have a well-paying halftime job that could be amazing if it were not for the CEOs being dumb as fuck. It's become so bad that I can't stand being in a room with them, listening to the shit they talk.
I'm the only person that doesnt call IT support five times a day for reasons like "why is the window small now it shouldn't be small!!!" or "the printer is SO STUPID"
I know it makes me sound like a complete cunt but I just want to go back to a place where the majority doesn't have an IQ beneath 90 and blames the rest of the world for their mistakes. Uni can suck too but at least you can have some semi-intelligent conversations with people who don't think a computer was some sort of hellish creature specifically designed to torture your very existence with its mischievous nonsense GODDDDD
I'm going back to college in a few months at age 27. It will be for a masters program luckily and is less than 2 years, but I do feel self-conscious knowing a lot of my classmates will be a few years younger than me. I need the masters for immigration/permanent residency abroad, and to hopefully get a good job, but I'm not excited to have to study/take tests and do group work again.
High5 I'm going back at age 27 for my master's degree as well!
At the university I visited it was normal that many students were "older" but I get what you're saying. I feel a bit like the "hello fellow kids" meme too. Also fuck group work that is the very worst
I don't know if you've already met your classmates but you'd be surprised at the age of Masters students. I've been in two Masters programs already and have hung out with people in various fields pursuing their masters and the age range is actually really varied! Mid/late 20s is the typical age (in my current group the average age is about 26 and we age 20 people). Really don't stress about it. And even if there are younger people, academically you won't notice. It's when you go out drinking you'll realize how much younger they are.
I've done 1½ years of uni in one year and have done it with a good GPA. I still feel like I could have done more and that I'm a bit of a failure, although I'll be done with a masters in a year in a very hard field. I know this is fucked up, but I can't shake off these feels.
College has been hell this year for a bunch of reasons:
>teachers are absent for the whole semester, aren't always replaced
>schedule is unbalanced, some weeks had 3 or 4 classes, some weeks had classes from Monday to Saturday with barely enough time to eat, sleep and study
>sometimes we were warned at the last second that we had a class we weren't supposed to have so not even able to have free time to have a job
>people who had a job had no idea wtf was going on the whole year
>assignments and tests given at the last minute so no time to study or prepare things as well as I could have
>college has a specific website we're supposed to use to download important documents and assignments, every teacher use facebook instead or don't send anything and expect students to trade notes online
>students traded notes only between close friends, was sick pretty often and asked for notes but everyone ignored me. Later someone called me an self-centered egoist for not helping someone in the same case who didn't even ask for help. The person who needed help at the time isn't even someone I have classes with.
I bet I'm forgetting a lot of things. I want to stop going to college, but I need a master degree to get a decent job. I don't want to stay in college because I'm not learning anything anymore, I'm graded on stuff that isn't taught to us and it's physically and mentally draining.
On top of that there are problems about the university establishing some bullshit rules on who get to graduate or not and how things are graded. And I'll receive my grades the same day as my birthday, so pretty soon.
Can you change to a different college, anon?
I don't know how it's like in your country of course, but this sounds like a bad place to learn at. Sounds like no matter what you do, things are fucked from the start because it's handled badly by the college itself.
I can't go to another college because I'm really poor and no matter where I study, I'll never receive enough money to live by myself or with flatmates. I have to live with my family and I receive a little bit of money thanks to a scholarship. This school year is almsot over, I'll get way less money with the scholarship I usually apply to and I won't be able to have a job during the next school year because of my college, so I'll try to find work for this summer and see what happens.
I already got my bachelor degree (I think that's the same level as what I have) so I'm trying to get a master degree because my bachelor degree by itself is worthless. Byt there are very few colleges in my country that made this master degree available. So it's not helping. I'm studying Japanese and English as foreign languages and a lot of things about international business overall, and all of this made me lose all my motivation for Japanese. I think once I stop going to college I won't study it anymore, not even during my free time.
I just completed my first year of uni and I hated it. I was stuck with a roommate who'd steal my debit cards but I could never prove it was her so when she moved out I was so ecstatic I wouldn't have to deal with her or her obnoxious friends coming over unannounced at odd hours. I spent more time in class or working on projects and papers so zero time for a job means I'm really broke. Staying up till 3am virtually everynight has tossed me into the dirt and now I can't sleep till almost 4am because my body won't get out of school mode.
I've also noticed a lot of people stop talking to you once they learn you aren't into partying. One of the first questions I've been asked by almost everyone I thought could be a potential friend was if I went to the parties. I know not all fellow uni students are like this but it just irks me that some only want to hang out with you if you want to go get drunk all the time. I'm a fashion design major(inb4 useless major) and I'm also studying Japanese cause there's a market for translators where I live. I'm thinking of picking up history or another language but I don't know if I could handle either one.
I guess next semester I'll try joining more organizations in hopes of at least making one friend who's a nonpartying homebody like me. I'm hoping that will help with stress. As for the areas of study I don't even know what I want to do. I know I want to keep fashion design but damn my mind is all over the place with languages and other areas of study. Right now I don't even know what I want to be my double minor. Aside from art stuff, working with cats, and languages, I'm not good at much else so I question if going to uni is even going to be a fruitful effort in the future. Should I have waited before going to uni?
>>74>I've also noticed a lot of people stop talking to you once they learn you aren't into partying.
I've been in a similar case where people don't want to have anything to do with you if you don't spend your weekends in bars or if you don't smoke. I bet way more than half of the students in my college smoke so during breaks they all get together and discuss about things, and if you don't smoke and don't want or can't to be around cigarettes, you barely have chances to socialize with most people.
Worse part is that smokers are allowed inside the courts, but not inside buildings, so basically to enter the buildings you have to smell cigarettes. I bet I'll havr lung cancer at 40 if that keeps up. Because I don't smoke or drink alcohol for a bunch of reasons the friends I made are all nerdy girls who barely socialize with the others too, because all our attempts didn't work.
I'm 23 going to undergrad again and I'm not ready for all the newbie freshmen straight from HS, at least in a Master's program you'll have fellows who have been around the block already and know when to wise up.
I've read around some college forums with this years new freshmen and the immaturity and uncontrolled public meme making makes me want to give myself an ice pick lobotomy.
I'm worried my life for the next couple years are going to be a 24/7 cringe thread.
I'm back to college and it'll be my last year in college (if I manage to graduate). I think most students here are also back to college by now so let's revive this thread.
I already posted about this in /disc/, in the thread about jobs and careers, but I'll have to do an internship, abroad if I'm lucky enough, and I'm already way too nervous about this. I managed to get my first job this summer but I'll probably have to quit because my schedules won't be compatible. I need money but I think I saved enough money this summer to get by until I really need to ask for a student loan to the bank. I need as much free time as possible to look for an internship, because if I don't find one I won't be able to graduate. It's stressful, I can't stop thinking about all of this.
I'm also nervous because my best friends are being held back because they couldn't get good grades, so that means I'm fucked if I have to do any group projects. And it also means I'll be lonely but that's a given.
I'm super lonely this semester since my roommate moved to another much more progressive state. She's doing really well and I'm so proud and happy for her. But I feel so depressed being in my apartment by myself. I've been feeling sad and lonely since the day after I took her to the airport. I have maybe like 2 friends on who live on campus so it isn't like I am completely by myself. I just feel so empty. I don't really want to get another roommate either, since I live in a small town and the chances of the person being cool would be very slim. I guess I will just wait it out until I graduate (hopefully next semester.) I can't wait to go home during the breaks and see my family and my dog. I'm also planning on visiting her either in this upcoming winter break or during the summer. I can't wait to see her again! I miss her company so much. She is such a good friend.
I really want to work harder this year but I'm unsure if my friends will be as understanding if I keep a low profile.
I know it's my life and shit but I like having friends…
I'm dreading the stress, the isolation, the commuting and the feelings of total inadequacy even when I'm achieving something, but it beats how I usually feel.
Wow…You literally put into words what Ive been feeling lately.
I just want to quit, change schools and study something else. I've realized that what I'm studying right now is not what I want to do for the rest of my life or even for the next few years. It's tolerable but I don't feel as passionate about it as my classmates do.
The thing is, people keep telling me I should get my bachelor's before I go study something else and I kind of feel like I should too because not doing it would mean I totally failed. But then again, maybe the true failure is if I keep doing something I don't really feel that invested in, in a city I don't want to live in?
If you're that dispassionate about your current discipline I would definitely advise that you switch schools and follow what your heart's telling you to do, because any time spent leaving the decision any longer will only result in regret.
>because not doing it would mean I totally failed
Like you've already said, I think real failure would be you throwing yourself at a subject you have no real interest in and no plans to use in the future.
My mother always told me, if you can find a job you love then you'll never work a day in your life. Think on it Anon.
Look up sunk cost fallacy. It will tell you that you're only wasting more time trying to make this work. I disagree with the do what you love and you'll never work sentiment because work is work and will always be, but it doesn't have to be like this.
I just begun college and I really like it! I'm just nervous that I'm to stupid and will fall behind. I also already made some friends with my classmates which is really comforting.
Thanks you for the advice kind anons! I'm definitely considering applying to a different school for next fall. I've already paid the registration fees and shit for this year so I'll keep grinding for now. Gotta get that sweet sweet government money to pay my bills.
Honestly the only thing that made me not want to drop out early (besides the degree stuff) was because I wanted to go abroad as an exchange student but after thinking about it and talking with my friends I realized I can do that at pretty much any school and there are other ways too. I mean I always knew it but I guess it was something I had my mind set on and I got blind to all other options.
If anyone doesn't mind I'm going to rant and rave some more since it helps me clear my thoughts about the whole thing.
Yesterday was the first day back at uni and looking at the courses I have I just got the feeling that I am majorly done with this shit. It's not really the exams and studying, those are easy since you just read the books but I really hate the courses where you have to have "academic discussions" with fellow students. That shit aöways makes me feel like the biggest idiot in the world. I'm not a stupid person at all but I guess I'm kinda shy about telling people what I think and I also just don't really care that much about the subjects to come up with some deep ass commentary. I really don't give a crap about the pseudo-academic empty words other people constantly spew either. I guess I'm just kinda tired of how humanities overall seems to just be talk talk talk with no real end goal. And honestly, the job market is fucking grim too. I know it's about marketing yourself and all but it seems like the majority of jobs people from my major get include sitting in a museum all day or research and that is absolutely not my thing. I want to be on my feet, be active and use my brain for something concrete that actually matters.
Whew. Sorry about the rant. I just have a lot of feelings about this right now.
>>1944>That shit aöways >aöways>ö
Anyone starting/started grad school? I'm moving to another country for my program in a few days and panicking. The program literally starts when I get off the plane since there are a ton of mandatory meetings (12+ hour flight…). Since grad school is the last stop if you aren't getting a phd (I'm not), I'm also quite nervous for job hunting since I'll be in a foreign country, applying for jobs in a different foreign country. On top of that I did self-study and volunteer work the past 3 years instead of getting a real job or going straight to grad school (ugh…) and didn't make any friends in my city so I'm scared to socialize. I also gained quite a bit of weight :( Everything atm is so overwhelming and I'm exhausted from the entire moving process. Sorry for the dumb ranty feel.
jag är inte egentligen svenskar, men jag har svenskar vänner (och försökte lära mig svenska en gång lol).
I'm 26 and my bf is 24. His parents are super controlling which means we can only see each other once a month. He has never made himself a meal, ironed his own clothes or done laundry.!He says he wants to save two years before moving out because he wants to live in a high class condo in downtown Toronto, buy a car new and he doesn't want roommates. By the time he gets his shit together I'll be 28. I told him I'm not willing to do that and he claims I'm not being reasonable and he doesn't understand why I can't "wait a bit of time". I just don't know Rather or not I'm being a selfish cunt in this situation.
Caring about two (fucking!) years of your life is not being selfish, at least not in my humble opinion.
From what I read it seems like he cares for his status or living standard more than he cares about you. And that is awful.
Maybe he is still living in high society land where you just have to be able to provide for your partner and offer her that kind of life. He might mistake that for genuinely caring for you.
Have you tried telling him that these things do not matter to you as much as he matters to you?
And once he saves up for it, will he be able to maintain it? A nice car and place to live require a lot of money, all the time. Might want to ask him that.
And no, it's not selfish at all. Having nice things is great but shouldn't be more important than your so.
I was just drifting off to sleep when I had a horrible feeling my course had started without me and I'd have to send another tragic-comic email explaining how this fresh disaster came about. Fortunately it doesn't start until the 28th, but now I'm so wired I can't sleep.
There has to a pill for this they're not telling me about.
Maybe he's hoping to marry by those 2 years first, and just making an excuse?
Currently I'm literally stuck between a rock and a hard place, university-wise because I need to submit my student loan application but can't yet because I'm waiting for a final grade from a 12-month course I'll be taking the final exam for on Tuesday.
If I submit the loan application without the grade the loan will see the non-grade and assume I failed and deny my application. Then I would have to go through an official appeal process to get my application re-approved.
My other option is to do what I'm doing and wait, but then I'm running up against the uni's fee payment and course add/drop deadlines, plus I'm trying to balance the deadlines while writing an open-book pre-exam essay and studying for my exam.
On top of that, my BPD mother is demanding I come home to visit her this weekend, which removes Friday-Sunday from my available writing/study days, essentially leaving today as my only writing day.
Plus that if I don't get my loan I'm beyond screwed because my boyfriend is only getting loan money for this year, then he's hit his term limit. That would be easy, but his graduate supervisor just got out of the hospital after having a heart attack that triggered a stroke and he's not sure if he's still able to work as a prof which leaves my bf withought a supervisor meaning he may have to start again with a new one and I don't know if I can stand that because he can be a total entitled drama-queen when the shit hits the fan.
Thanks for letting me vent, it did kind of help.
I phoned the loan office and they told me to relax and not worry (that's literally what they said) and I phoned the uni's financial office hoping to get my $75 "late payment of fees fee" taken off my account but they're saying it's my fault (I guess it is, but still).
Got an urgent email saying my professor had a stroke and is no longer teaching the course, so new prof and resubmission of all coursework.
My boyfriend went full dramaqueen meltdown because something went wrong in his RPG, he said he'd help me study and now he won't, he said he'd proofread and now he won't, and he promised he'd cook lunch but now he says he "feels sick" because of his game.
I knew better than to trust him though, this happens every time I count on him.
>>2003>my boyfriend went full dramaqueen meltdown because something went wrong in his RPG, he said he'd help me study and now he won't, he said he'd proofread and now he won't, and he promised he'd cook lunch but now he says he "feels sick" because of his game.
Uh, what? Your boyfriend is reneging on a promise to help you in your academic future because "something went wrong in his RPG"?
Why are you dating an 11 year old boy?
Shit, guys. I'm >>1919
and today I applied for two other schools. Just like that.
I heard some bad-ish news from home and decided that fuck it, life is too fucking short for me to dilly-dally around in this godforsaken school when I already know I don't want to finish getting my degree. It feels a little scary but big decisions always do, don't they? I feel like I'm on the right track to doing something that actually means shit.
This sounds stupid but I actually bought fucking printer ink (ran out a year ago) so I can print the online material to properly study for the entrance exams. So I guess this is as serious as it gets. My friend told me it's easier to get in from the fall application since most people apply in the spring so I'm hopeful. Wish me luck guys.
I have a test in 20 minutes but I'm scared I'm gonna fail because everytime I think I have something down my brain just dies at the moment of the test and I just sit there staring at the computer screen. Kill me.
Proud of you Anon. Good job.
I'm very aware that I've only been asked back because the course is so under subscribed, I feel like I've said that here already, but the thought's been floating around my head for so long now idk. The course isn't even what I thought it would be but I was autopilot for the entire application process so I got mugged off in that regard.
I'm so miserable atm that I'm struggling to form proper sentences, but I really wished I lived in an alternate time line where more or less everything about me and my life was different.
I've just started my second year and I'm already so stressed. I just want to really smash my degree but it's hard when you spent most of your life second guessing yourself constantly. I feel like an imposter constantly, or like my good work was marked wrong and they're gonna be like YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE HERE REEEE and I die and gaisusosnsk
My professor assigns 150 problems for one class and expects us to finish them all in a span of a week. What's even shittier is that we already meet for 2 hours, 3 times a week. I have no idea how others are finishing the homework because it is difficult as fuck for me to complete (the problems are not difficult, but they are time consuming) and I've really tried in trying to turn myself around as a student, but this is such a challenge. I have other classes too, I work a 15 hour a week job, and for the bulk of my classes it takes an hour's commute to get to (so two hours there and back per day). I'm so frustrated and am considering talking to my professor about the homework load, but I'm scared I'll get backlash from them. I don't have any official mental or learning disability diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure I have ADD and although I don't fit the criteria for astigmatism, I do have a few severe autistic symptoms that interfere with my ability to commit to tasks.
>Felt like fucking shite lately, like I'm actually way too retarded to be here and I wasn't really meant to be accepted onto the course.
>Lecturer sat here talking about how bad it is people scraping by in uni are given good jobs in tech.
IMPOSTER SYNDROME INTENSIFIES
My professor kicked me out of his course for missing four lectures in a row, but I had a note for one because of an appointment and for one of the others I never even got the attendance sheet passed to me but he doesn't believe me.
Are professors even allowed to kick you out? I mean, I paid $1000 to be in his course, I thought only the dean could kick a student out?
In my uni your academic supervisor has to appeal to the program coordinator and it’s a process that has steps and such. Unless the professor has written in their syllabus that they have that strict rule I’d go to your department head and if that doesn’t work if your university has a ombudsman or student service run office I’d go there. That’s a lot of money I’m sorry that happened to u. Professors can be so up their own asses sometimes.
I told myself I'd take it easy for my final year so i'm only taking four courses this semester, but I also took two jobs and am part of the cubesat team here
idk why I do this to myself
I don't understand why people cut classes they pay for, especially if they're just going to be on campus anyways.
I am so aware of how old I am. I'm not even that old, but boy am I fucking old. The egos on these kids as well…amazing. If their egos weren't so impressively huge, I'd be pissed 24/7. I also can't stop thinking of them as 'kids'. I think it pisses them off lol. Actually, since starting school I've come to really look down on men my age (22-25) who only date/want to date 17-19 year old girls. Disgusting.
Sorry if I sound like a huge ass for making a big deal about a few years age difference. But I only have 1 friend who is younger than me, and she's really mature because she had to grow up early yadda yadda. I also spent the past year as the youngest person in the office, where everyone else was 30+. I don't spend a lot of time around younger people with less overall life experience. What do I talk to them about?
That aside, school is fun but I've been procrastinating a bit lately, and got a lot of shit to do. Someone please get me off this site so I can finish my problem set.
All of my classes take place at the day of the week, so that means I should have at least a week to complete assignments, but the teachers just won't stop giving us assignments when I don't have enough time to complete them because of my job or because of my other classes. Once one of them sent us a translation to complete the morning before we had a class with her. Then they wonder why I almost never prepare anything for their shitty classes.>>2382
Honestly I understand what you mean. I can't relate all that much to people in my uni because they're spoiled kids, and I don't even have much of an age difference with them so I can imagine how much it sucks for you. The younger students should be easy to ignore in the end, unless you have group assignments.
Right now I'm so confused as to when I'll be graduating thanks to my adviser… So for about 3 years, I kept receiving the new graduating plan for freshman for the next incoming year.
So I taking classes that don't even count towards my own graduating plan. It's super counterproductive and has put me behind about another semester or even year behind my graduation date. Which is already behind since I failed a whole year's worth of classes and took a semester off from school to deal with my mental health… (I was originally supposed to graduate this spring.)
So I went to see someone in the registrar to get an audit done and figure out my plan and credits. Then I went to see one of my professors to help me with my getting me back on track to graduating, and fix my spring schedule. That was such a huge help since she prioritizes the classes I need to take and knows what's offered. She also told me that she is willing to help me look over and fix my future schedules. Knowing that was nice and really put me at ease.
However, knowing that I took classes that I never needed to take just frustrates me and really shouldn't have happened in the first place…!! In years, I'm a senior. In total credits, I'm a junior. In my actual graduation plan, I'm a sophomore….
How much money do you guys spend per month (specifically on groceries)?
I'm asking because I feel the amount my parents transfer to me is way too much and once I'm on my own (as in, only living from my own salary) I won't have a grasp on what a "normal" amount is.
I took an intensive Computer Science course this year in a university and I think I'm already regretting it.
The first few weeks were challenging but it felt really good to see something you spent hours on finally run. Our lecturer said that if you do well in the first few weeks, you’re basically guaranteed a firsts at the end of the year. I didn’t feel like I was at the top of the class, but I didn’t feel like I was at the bottom either so I was really sure I’d do well. Plus my bf previously did a CS course and I could ask him for help if I was stuck.
So after a few weeks they throw us in with people from second year of the four year course. It starts becoming hell. All of the lecturers assume we’ve covered everything “last year” so they brush over all their slides and give us assignments based on things we’ve never seen before. One lecturer was really surprised when we told him that we hadn’t done a certain computer language before and said “Wow, then you’re going to find this module really hard.” A good chunk of my class dropped out in the first week. I had to comfort someone who was crying after class. I started watching YouTube tutorials because we weren’t learning anything in class but I wasn’t able to watch them fast enough (even at 1.5x speed and typing the code along with them) in order to have all the info I needed for our assignments. Another lecturer doesn’t even understand his own notes and regularly asks the class for help while pretending he’s just testing us. Some of our assignments are timed and it’s really stressful watching the clock tick down. In others, they’re “exam conditions” so we’re not allowed to speak to each other, use our phones or Google anything. Even when I try to Google things, the answers people provide on Stack Overflow are really overly-complicated and I don’t understand them so I risk copying code I don’t understand and getting in trouble over plagiarism or just…not writing anything and getting a horribly low grade anyway. My bf isn’t much of a help anymore because I’m learning languages that he didn’t even cover in his course and our course seems to be much, much, much more maths-heavy than his ever was. I tend to rely on the other people in the class to help me out and it’s really embarrassing and makes me feel stupid.
To make it worse, we met up as a class and decided we’d approach the head of our department about it. He basically just said “well previous years didn’t struggle, so why do you guys have a problem?” and that 90% end up with a 1.1 by the end of the year. It makes me wonder how many drop out before exam time for them to come up with that percentage (I should also note that there are many people in my class who previously have a lot of experience in programming and have even been working as programmers for years and just took the course for the hell of it). The whole thing makes me feel like an idiot. We pay for this course and the government pays them extra for putting this course on and we’re being ignored. Once they’ve gotten their money, they don’t seem to give a shit if half the class drops out and those who remain don’t even need the degree.
I’m so upset and I don’t know what to do. I’d love to be able to continue the course because I don’t want to apply for an IT job without experience in programming but I’m so stressed right now that I come home almost every day crying. I have another degree but it’s unrelated and I can see myself struggling to find work in IT if I don’t have this degree. I watch video tutorials during my hour commute every day and I spend most of my time at home trying to figure out problems. Most days I just give up and accept a fail and I’m really worried that I’m not going to even pass at this point. I’ve never been so sleep deprived in my life and I think it’s having a really bad effect on my mental health. I’m starting to wonder if I have a learning disability because I struggle to remember things and I keep needing someone else to guide me through the steps. Have any of you anons been in a similar situation? What do you do when your college isn’t teaching you anything? At what point do you give up and drop out? I’m really enraged that I have money to these people and I still feel like giving up.
Tl;dr: I’m doing a really intense CS course that many have dropped out of. Our lecturers refuse to change anything or help us and they blame us. I’m falling behind my peers and feel like dropping out but fear not getting a job if I do.
I want to help you anon. Couple of things to start with:
All programming languages are the same. It can take some time to realise this but when you do you'll stop being afraid of unfamiliar languages.
Youtube slows you down. Written documentation is much faster because you can skip over bits you aren't interested in.
Qualifications are not important, experience is. If you dropped out now and spent the rest of the year working on a neat open source project you've had in the back of your mind and build up a userbase for it that puts you in a better position than a degree. Having said that, I believe you should finish the course.
So far we've done Java, C++, SQL and XML and people in the class kind of have mixed opinions about whether they're similar or not. I'm glad we started with Java because it was the most difficult and everything else felt easier.
We got plenty of book recommendations and I downloaded them it's just that I find they make me sleepy and it's easier to concentrate on a voice lol.
I was basically told that I could apply now and there's a chance my bf's workplace will accept me. It's just that I wanted to know how to code before I took a job. Lol the only thing is now I'm doubting even applying for there since my bf is having such a hard time with how much they expect of him.
I kind of wished I had taken a year off and just worked on some projects myself. I'm actually learning more from CodeAcademy, video tutorials and all the free books I got online than in a class I actually paid for…it probably would have been more beneficial.
Well, SQL and XML aren't programming languages, so those are different. What I'm trying to get across though is that when designing a computer program, the notes and diagrams I draw on paper before I begin don't care which language I'm going to be using. From there it's just a matter of looking up the syntax and the code basically writes itself.
I would not read a 'book' as such on a computer. If I'm trying to digest something start to finish I need it on paper. Staring at a screen does indeed make one sleepy. But for looking things up, quickly filtering through vast amounts of information to get to the tiny bit you need to do what's in front of you, hyperlinked online documentation can't be beaten.
I would say keep going with the codeacademy stuff etc in your own time, eventually something should 'click' and the things being said in lectures should make more sense. Ultimately you will get a more thorough and complete grounding in the subject by completing a formal course than you would just learning alone.
This is going to change a lot depending on where you live.
I felt similar though, my family was wealthy so when I first moved out I felt like I had no grasp on what was a reasonable amount to spend. What I did which I think really helped if you have the time and energy for it, is I looked up how much food stamps cover (about $200 a month, in my area) and tried to live off that for a while. It was hard, and I had to turn down eating out with friends, or give up foods that I was craving sometimes, and I even lost a little weight because I wasn't able to eat enough. But, I think it gave me a really good perspective on how much food is actually worth, as well as what I can give up vs what I can't live without.
Now I'd say I spend about $300 a month, and I think that's a really reasonable amount for a single person to spend, but again it depends on where you live.
I think step one is to stop seeing your teachers as the enemy. You post about them as if they don't know about what they're teaching, or like they're actively trying to make it hard for you. I find that really hard to believe, and I bet you don't really think that's the case either.
That being said, if you're trying as hard as you can and still not doing well that really sucks and it means you need to try a different approach.
First of all stop depriving yourself of sleep. I know this is engrained in academic culture and it feels like you could figure this out if you only just had a few more hours in the day, but not getting enough sleep is putting you at a huge disadvantage from the start. Your brain needs to be rested and taken care of for you to be capable of absorbing new information. Of course you can't read books without falling asleep, and it feels like your teachers are trying to make you do impossible mental gymnastics, your brain isn't running at full capacity so you probably really can't do it in your current state.
Second, if time is a problem with your exams, then don't waste another second. Go get diagnosed and request accommodations right away. My school had on campus people who could test you for learning disabilities, but you should also be able to get accommodations for mental health issues like depression or anxiety too. Whatever it is, go get your extra time. It won't help if you have no idea what's going on in the exam, but it will if the biggest problem is the time limit.
Another suggestion is to make friends with the students who are doing well and let them help you. Also see if your school had a tutoring center, or if you can afford it get a private tutor.
Finally, since you complained about this course being too fast, is there a more beginner friendly, slower class? None of my above advice is going to help if you've legitimately chosen a course you weren't prepared for, so trying again with a more basic course might be the way to go.
One, I'm sorry about your experience.
What language is it?
My only other thought is that I am an engineering major going for a CS minor and in engineering, they have a "bottleneck" course which is supposed to be super hard and a lot of people drop out or fail and have to retake it. Maybe that's the case with this class, even though the previous year everyone did amazing?
Yeah I just mentioned them because it seemed like we haven't done a lot yet when we've covered a LOT in such a small time frame. Like I only started in September and we've covered all of that already. I completely get what you mean about them all being similar now, though.
Yeah I'm really hoping it will click soon. We do have some revision classes coming up so I'm really eager to do them. I also really appreciate that I've made friends too and we can discuss things after class. I just feel silly asking them questions when they're always ahead of me.>>2858
I really want to believe that they want to help us but the whole class is pretty unanimous that the course has been organised really badly. Someone explained to me that a lot of our lecturers are new to teaching and that the college just hired them because they're making it money through research papers. I don't think they're intentionally trying to make it hard for us, I just think it was the department as a whole didn't really plan the course well and now they're making it out to be our fault? I'm actually not as emotional as some of the others in my class, some were visiting the head of the department to complain but I'd never do something like that lol.
Yeah I 100% agree that I'm sleep deprived and getting enough sleep is solid advice. I didn't think there were accomodations for mental illnesses? I've actually never looked into that and I definately will now. I'll also look into getting tested for a learning disability even just to rule out that I might have one.
I'm friends with a few people who are doing great and they help me all the time, they're so nice. But I do feel like a bit of a pest ngl. Funny enough, this was supposed to be beginner friendly and the first few weeks made me feel so smart because people were being shown how to turn on a computer and how they work. It was only really when we were put into a class with second years that it started speeding up. >>2859
Mostly Java. We can use whatever language we want for most classes just since I've the most experience in Java, I'm more comfortable using that.
I actually hadn't heard of a bottleneck course until you mentioned it there. The course I'm in is basically just put on by colleges because they get extra money from the government for doing so. They don't have to use many facilities because we're in the same class as other classes and they don't have to put on any extra lectures.
Thanks for all the advice, anons <3 I'm feeling a little more positive now that I know there will be revision classes soon. It felt good to get those emotions out because I had to hold back in class. I admitted to some friends that I was thinking of dropping out and they've all been trying to help me to stop that from happening lol. I just have to hold on for this year and then I can get a job with my bf :) Just have to keep reminding myself how much I wanted this!
I have midterms this week, one on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, with a project due on Monday. I hope I do well, and complete all my homework (that's the hardest part of school for me).
its been alright, really busy because I work 30hrs a week (I know some people do more but I'm not as good with it). Im at community and it turns out that one of my most time consuming classes wasn't necessary/wouldn't transfer to the uni I decided to go to so I dropped it. My professor in said dropped class is super ultra hot and I have a huge crush on him so oh well, good bye beautiful lectures!~~
Guys, would you say that applying to six schools is okay enough or should I try a few more?
Teeny update, I'm up to eight applications now. That should be more than fine, right?
Anyone here that studied/is still studying abroad? I'm taking sort of a gap year right now but I was thinking about studying abroad. What was your experience? Any pros and cons? Do you have any recommendations on how to choose what country to study in?
I only applied to three and got accepted into my first choice so I just went with that. I've always been told you should apply to at least 5 or 6 schools though.
Depends, do you think they will reasonably accept you or do you have a lot of "dream" schools lined up? Having a few backup/safe schools is a good idea.
I'm not sure what the deal is in your country, but when I was applying for college we had 10 higher degree choices and 10 lesser degree choices. I filled all 20. My school highly recommended it because at least then you'll get SOMETHING, no matter what happens. Also put them in order of your preference, not in order of the grades required. A lot of people make the mistake of putting say, medicine first because it's more diffcult to get into and something they actually want like business later down on the list. Then if they get the correct grades, they're given a place in the medicine course when they didn't even want it. The demand for the courses changes every year, you don't know how difficult or easy it's going to be to get into the course you want that year so just go by preference.
I feel so happy whenever I scroll down and see this thread. I recently graduated. Wishing you all good luck and I hope you can get your diplomas soon.
My college is really small so there isn't a face a haven't seen. There was this one guy who had B.O. so bad and strong that you can pinpoint which floor and class he is in. On my first day of class, he was unfortunately in my class but got sent home by the dean because of his B.O.
I often saw him on days I did not have class with him and he was always ALWAYS wearing the same clothes. I've only saw him wore something different once and that was during the final presentation. Those were the worst two quarters I had to endure.
I hate when groups dump all the work on one person. It's annoying and rude as fuck. I'm stuck doing all the research for a group project because no one wants to do it and won't even touch it but the grade is for the whole group so I don't really get a choice. Why are some professors so difficult when they know the rest of your group isn't doing any work?
I want to drop out of college asap but I have group projects to complete this semester and I would feel bad for leaving my groups with too much work. I planned on staying until the holidays to see if I would change my mind and decided to stay but all the group projects' deadlines changes to after the holidays and it's pissing me off that I feel forced to stay for this shit. I have someone from my courses who gave up less than a month after college started and I want to ask him what he is doing and how it works to get out but since we've never been very close it would seem weird that I suddenly ask him things on fb. We're studying to graduate at the end of the year and get a master degree and we're almost only studying things we saw in high school and college every year wtf.>>3041
Their favorite excuse is "that's what you will have to deal with in your future career because you won't choose your future colleagues"
What was supposed to be one of my easiest midterms I made fucking simple mistakes because of overconfidence.
(Guess I shouldn't have been reading doujin over studying fuuuck)
I only just got here but I already wish I was at home, ignoring the world and falling into wonderful oblivion.
Mmm, cosy, cosy oblivion.
I'm dealing with several courses' worth of this and it's pissing me the fuck off as well. 2 of my group mates are just deadweights who can't even speak English, I wish one of them at least gave no fucks and let me do whatever I want, instead she keeps pulling my sleeve and asking me to explain every little word she doesn't understand in a text whilst I'm busy doing the work for everyone in the group. One guy keeps trying to help but he's Russian and all he does is just copypaste a bunch of random professional-sounding words into a word document, like literal word salad without any meaning. Instead of letting me write my own shit they just make it worse with their 'helping'. The other two who actually know how to write properly and construct coherent sentences in the English language don't. They literally do nothing all day. Jesus Mary and Joseph help me in these trying times.
>commute to uni and back costs nearly 10 quid
>course is really boring, only picked it because I didn't know what else to do
>don't know what the fug is going on half the time in my lectures; have to rely on friends to explain it to me
>still no idea what I want to do career-wise
>constant assignments out the ass that are hard to keep up with
Idk what I'm doing
On the plus side my lecturers are really nice and our department is relatively organised compared to others so eh
I should have studied for midterms this week since I was on holidays but I spent my time hanging out with friends or at work so I didn't do shit and now I'm fucked. I have no idea what to do with my life at this point.>>3138>still no idea what I want to do career-wise
Same. I'm supposed to graduate this year (which won't happen, I don't believe in miracles) and I still don't know. I just want money, I'm not ambitious enough for that shit. I hope you'll find something, unlike me.
I just did all the research for a second group project and one girl in the group who said she would do her share of the work hasn't even lifted a finger. She made plans for the project without telling anyone and just assumed we autimatically knew her plan. The project is due in two days. I've basically said I'm not touching jackshit until she does her part of the project we planned originally because she decided things without informing anyone and only responded to emails and any attempt to contact when being scolded for dumping all the work on me. I've done my shit now I'm just gonna hope the professor has a heart and grades me for my work and she gets whatever grade she gets for slacking off so hard.
At times like this I feel like group work in colleges should be banned. At the same time I feel like if someone won't do their share of work in a group project they should fail the class because they sure as hell won't be able to work with people in the real world being this lazy.
Also new uni vent:
I live in dorms on campus and I live in one of the older buildings. Today we had a severe thunderstorm and my window has erupted like a waterfall full of rainwater. I've been running around for an hour using dirty clothes from my laundry basket and towels trying to keep it all at bay because maintenance won't come until tomorrow. Just fucking end me.
I feel like such a fuck up because I did really mediocre on a decently easy midterm.
Now I want to just drop the class and try again so my GPA doesn't get fucked, but I also don't want to waste more time. (I can graduate in time, but it's a hassle)
UGHHHH WHAT TO DO. WHY AM I SUCH A DUMBASS
Do better on the final/project/assignments, anon. I failed a midterm once but I managed to bring my final mark to a 78%. Sure it's not the best mark but I was ready to drop the course like a hot potato like you. I stuck with it anyway and worked really hard for the rest of the course.
Don't give up!! Good luck.
There's only the final left. I can for sure pass this class, I'm just really disappointed in myself for not prioritizing this class because this first half was mostly review and it was really easy so I didn't practice/study as much as I should have.
Just OTL because the best I can do now is a C+
Dropping and retaking seems really appealing, but it will be an 8am next quarter and I am not about that life.
My statistics course has a final exam worth 60% and regardless of what you got out of the 40% for the assignments, you had to achieve 24/60 on the exam. I truly suck in exam conditions, I didn't get the 24 and missed it by a few marks so I've been offered a resit so I don't fail and have to re-do it. I don't think I can pass it, statistics is so foreign to me and if I don't have the study guide to work off I just can't seem to retain what each formula is and what the components of it are. :(
I didn't study for today's midterm, I am fucked but I don't care anymore. I just want this semester to end and hope for the best.
I fucking hate this scheme of an "education." FUCK. 2 years and never a professor I haven't despised. Never an assignment I haven't loathed. Never a smile on my face without a lie in my mind.
I'm more jaded than the fucking Ming dynasty. Every page of busy-work. Every self-righteous lecture. It all tallies up, and I'm only halfway through (not counting grad school hah).
Next semester's going to be bad, my essays are already cracking.
It's a dread kind of ecstasy to see the bewildered comments of my instructors. The discomfort in their grading, my captive audience. The catharsis of letting my mask slip in my work is practically erotic. These ivory tower academics have no idea what it's like to have someone genuinely, truly hate them. Their confusion is palpable, even more so with my friendly act in person.
I never imagined myself as such a batshit crazy person but here I am, getting flustered at the thought of emotional manipulation and head games with my "superiors." University has only taught me to smile at the thought of immolation.
"What hither brought us; hate, not love, nor hope
Of Paradise for hell, hope here to taste
Of pleasure, but all pleasure to destroy,
Save what is in destroying; other joy
To me is lost. Then let me not pass Occasion which now smiles; behold alone
The woman, opportune to all attempts"
just finished my last exams.
i'm gonna make it.
community college fag here. I just need my english class and my stats class and then I will be able to transfer.
My english syllabus makes the prof out to be a massive grammer nazi cunt but I guess I will just have to bite the bullet and pass the class
I went back to school at 23 too. I think the biggest thing that let me succeed is being autistic and mapping all the major due dates and exams on my google calender. I would then do my review and shit a week or so before the real due date for the class.
Also use your schools writing or math center if you have one. Mine had people with MAs in english just waiting to help me edit my formatting
Thanks for the encouragement, I'm >>3197
and I got my grades back. I got a B+ in the class and As on everything else. Things worked out I guess but I definitely will try to avoid that happening again by slacking off.>>4112
You can do it!!!
I transferred recently and I'm so ready to finish school finally.
>>3232>2 years>never a professor I haven't despised>self-righteous lecture
At that point I'd say the problem is you, anon…enjoy your "education" as you like to put it.
Anon this is painfully relatable in a way but you need to snap out of it and realize that you're just going crazy because you've spent too much time in an institution and it's an institution that deals with attempts to manipulate and limit the mind. Your words show that you know this but they also show the desperation of someone who worries that these professors have significant power over you after all. They don't. Maybe you fear they'll find a way to brainwash you after all. They won't so long as you use your most basic questioning skills. They aren't smarter than you. You ARE more of a free thinker than them and you're only doing this for a few more years. Don't burn and out and exhaust yourself trying to fight a battle you've already won. You're doing this as a means to a simple end. You're just in it for the stupid degree and if you get too repulsed by lying then drop out or take a real break. Your true mind WILL remain in tact. They've successfully made you paranoid that walking into the confines of their prison automatically makes you as much of a prisoner as them. They wish.
I'm looking for an internship and I still got nothing. I only had 2 job interviews and for the first one I never got a definite answer and I think they just don't want to say no too directly. As for the second one I was a bit awkward and the employer just wouldn't stop asking questions and cutting me off when I tried to answer, and was surprised that I, someone who's studying English as a second language, can speak English. I don't know what the fuck she was expecting since I sent her my resume a week before the interview AND the job requires to be fluent in English but I feel like she wanted to say no as soon as possible because I received her answer 2 hours after the interview ended. I feel like everyone is underestimating me and they get a bad impression of me just by looking at me and get surprised every time they see I'm actually not a moron, potential employers and professors alike.
Worst part is that my grades are ok even though I was slacking off these days because of my part time job so I definitely can graduate as long as I get the internship. Of course the university barely helps looking for one. I feel like shit. I still force myself to send applications but I try not to get my hopes up too much.
>>3232>The catharsis of letting my mask slip in my work is practically erotic. These ivory tower academics have no idea what it's like to have someone genuinely, truly hate them.
Holy hell based on your writing here I feel like I'd read every paper of yours over a glass of wine with friends. You're probably singlehandedly getting them through this hell year. That is grade-A entertainment.
Honestly I think that post was a joke
Probably, but I knew some people in high school who literally talked like this and I'd be surprised if they grew out of it, so people like that do exist in the world.
Some people really, truly believe their views are this important and groundbreaking.
MFW group work + christmas break = terrible times all around
How do you know when to drop out?
I posted in the thread before but things have just gotten worse since then. The results
from our first term came out and it I've come last out of everyone in the class. People who have been doing better than me have dropped out weeks ago and I keep wondering, why am I putting myself through this? I have to get 60% in my upcoming exams just in order to pass this term and honestly, I don't think I can do it. The exams contain so many definitions, diagrams and logic-heavy questions.
It always comforted me that my friends would also complain about how difficult the course/exams/CA was and I just assumed we were in the same boat, but I was wrong. Coming last makes me wonder if I have a learning disability but I'm not sure how I'd go about getting tested for one and anyway, it's a bit too late considering my first exam is on Saturday. I've always felt like I was behind everyone all my life but I didn't really get confirmation until now, seeing my name at the very bottom of a list makes it hard to ignore.
I'm not even sure what I'd do if I dropped out. I'm in a country where having a degree is required in order to get a job. I could work on getting a few certificates but not having a degree will look really bad tbh. And anyway, if I'm not intelligent enough to make it through college, how would I cope in a job??? I'm just sitting here bawling my eyes out, wondering what to do and I've no guidance. When are you supposed to give up?
tl;dr I'm stupid, what are my options?
how far along are you? like year/class?
either way >And anyway, if I'm not intelligent enough to make it through college, how would I cope in a job???
please don't worry about this. i had this mentality too and was so mad but relieved when i the jobs i ended up getting had fuck all to do with what i learned in school. a huge proportion of entry level jobs are just gruntwork based, which is meditative and you don't need to think about shit, there's high paying jobs that are just specialized niche gruntwork, higher ups that did the gruntwork until they could manage and train for that gruntwork, small business owners that did gruntwork until they could hire people to do gruntwork to make more money for them. ironically enough, the most directly academic jobs tend to be rare, low paying, or through the academic institution itself. There's a huge world between these extremes ofc, but trust me, end of the list or not, there are so many people who are less academically intelligent than you making honest respectable livings.
If everything goes right I won't have anymore finals for the rest of my life. I just fucked up my last one some hours ago but I don't even care anymore at this point. I'm so relieved. But this isn't my last semester yet and I still don't have an internship so I feel like I shouldnt be too relieved. But it feels so good!
you should probably work on that you don't sound very healthy. Your superiors and classmates all aren't out to get you, in fact they probably couldn't care less. maybe that is why you despise them? Their job is to teach you about physics and economics or whatever, not to make sure you feel nice
I have my first final-year exam in two days
then a two day gap to get through about 7 lectures for the second exam and practice essays
And I've probably forgotten the previous lectures I revised because I've given up on doing the hundreds of Anki cards I have due everyday
I feel retarded
The last few months, maybe even years, have been absolute shit for me.
In less than a month i'll have exams; now i've had 2 weeks off and i haven't done anything.
All i do every single day is sit in front of my computer; i can't bring myself to shower, brush my teeth, eat something else than junk food or sleep, i simply have zero motivation, but i know that the longer i put off studying the more stressed i will be.
Before i started college i loved reading, studied a lot, i had so many dreams and now…
My school offers counseling, but only at a time there i have a class i absolutely have to attend (the irony), plus i would be too anxious to go anyway.
I'm not even expecting to be happy and free of my anxiety etc anymore, i just want to know a way to get myself motivated enough to study, so that i at least won't hate myself for butchering these exams… Any tips?
I need to take two more classes and I get to become a Computer Science major! Exciting stuff :p Never thought I'd even get this far, planning on taking more courses instead of securing an internship this summer though. I'm so scared of failing due to my undiagnosed ADHD - PI, I was supposed to get help before the semester started but my family kept moving.
I think this semester is gonna be really bad, so I'm planning ahead and forcing myself to only focus on school atm (fuck a job, fuck friends and fuck everything else).
>>4567>undiagnosed adhd-pi majoring in compsci
holy hell. i also think i may have that illness, and i want to go into compsci.
how did you handle the math? what were your grades in highschool like? was learning how to code difficult for you? i'd love to like…know how you dealt with things.
…do you have a discord?
I'm switching my major to CS in the fall (only because that's the only semester you can switch), so I'm taking all the classes anyway now. I also think I have ADHD like the two of you think you do, except I'm pretty positive I'm the combined type on a severe scale (perhaps skewing towards inattentive somewhat). >>4587
I know I'm not the anon you wanted to hear from, but since I seem to be in a similar boat as them, I thought I'd reply.
>how did you handle the math?
I thought math was going to be super difficult since I hadn't done calculus in high school and because everyone hypes it up like it's super difficult, but so far, I'm cautiously optimistic because I feel like I've been able to understand everything, but I feel like maybe I'm psyching myself out and that I really don't know anything. My grades get better and better the more deep into math I go so far, but that's partially because I keep on trying to resist my frazzled mind harder. It's exhausting, though.
>what were your grades in highschool like?
Mixed. I would get an F in a class because I didn't do the homework or take notes, then the next semester I'd get an A if I simply did the homework and took notes. They really were quite variable overall because if I was able to force myself at the beginning of the school year to do well, that would help encourage me to continue expending all my energy into turning things in on time (which is one of my greatest weaknesses). However, if I slip up, it has an exponential effect and I would spiral into having bad grades. The problem is, it always felt like a battle in high school even if I was "doing well" and I always felt stressed and exhausted at mentally forcing myself to do "normal" things, like homework, even though I didn't find the homework itself difficult, getting to class on time, having proper hygiene daily, etc.
>was learning how to code difficult for you?
No, it's quite fun for me. One way my ADHD impacts me is that if I'm scared of having to exert the tiniest bit of effort into my code, I'll write inefficient code instead of taking a few extra minutes to find/learn what exactly I should be doing with my code. I hope that makes sense. A lot of computer science is learning logic and math, not "code".
Sorry I didn't answer you but the anon above ^^ covered almost everything. >how did you handle the math?
I forced myself to keep learning the formulas and applying them until I understood it, did this for hours on end while locked in my dorm room. It eventually paid off when the midterm/exam came around. I was extremely distracted throughout it all though, what helped me, however, was doing my studying in 45-minute increments and taking 15-minute breaks to not feel overworked.
>what were your grades in highschool like?
I went to a shitty ghetto school, didn't learn a single thing throughout high school. I wasn't prepared for college at all, and my first semester was a freaking mess. It took some time to adjust, I also didn't really apply myself and did the bare minimum (that doesn't work in University).
>was learning how to code difficult for you? i'd love to like…know how you dealt with things.
Most of my compsci classes are more logic orientated as opposed to actually building something….
…do you have a discord?
I don't really use discord
these posts made me feel a bit better, lmao.
>new semester starts
>am supposed to revcieve money for books
>comes late even though I asked weeks ago
>barely get enough to cover books
>this isn't even the normal amount I'm supposed to recieve
>I normally get way more as per some agreement but they somehow went back on it
>mfw am now supposed to figure out how to get the rest of my supplies for one class
I'm so broke right now it hurts. I wish some classes weren't so insanely expensive. I once spent several hundred on a single class(I think it was close to $700 and that was just the supplies, not the cost of the actual class). Classes just started and I'm already wanting to just say "fuck it" because of the costs.
Try downloading some of your textbooks from pirate sites, or seeing if your school library or the public library has a copy.
i started my finals yesterday and so far, i thing im doing good! even though im exhausted and barely conscious due to sleep loss. three down and seven more to go lel
My school has some bullshit thing where the only way you have access to certain textbooks is if you buy special access codes from the campus bookstore, otherwise you're fucked. I got stuck with professors who insist it MUST be the super special digital versions, have to register it with the class and everything. It's fucking ridiculous.
Any anons that can offer some advice on college stuff?
It's been 4-5 years since I finished high school but I didn't go to college because I was way too depressed and wasn't sure what I wanted. I barely passed my highschool years (mostly because of math) and I was terrified of the same thing happening in college.
It's been so long but now I sort of want to go now. A bacelors degree is only 2 years. It's also free if you're a regular student.
I've finished bussines school - economy, which seems to have a lot of different branches and I suppose I'll have to pick based on location rather than the field I want. But what if what I'll pick will be "useless" in a few years?
I'm scared of not being able to keep up with the stuff since it's been so long since I finished high school, a lot has probably changed too. Would it be wise to go even tho I might not remeber shit?
Sorry for any spelling error, autocorrect isn't working properly
I wish I could tell you about whether or not you should go but I can't since I don't know a lot about economy. If you're worried about not remembering a lot of stuff, maybe you can talk to some staff over at the college and learn about the general requirements and level of knowledge you should have. If you have any old textbooks or notes, you can also spend some time reviewing those when you have the chance.
As for whatever branch you want to pick being "useless", I think it depends on how you define useless and what you want to do. I've met people who picked their area of study simply because it's part of a hobby they wanted to pursue so while they may not build a career out of it, it makes them happy to study it so while it might be useless to you or me, it isn't to them. To get any use of some degrees, you might want to be willing to move elsewhere because if you're in a tiny tiny town, you might not have a shot at a lot of stuff. For a lot of degrees, you might only find work in the desired field if you build connections so if you don't try to build any, you probably won't have much luck finding anything. If a field is oversaturated, connections can help a lot. You should probably research what you're looking at to see what it would take to do what you want as well as ask around if you can find people that can help.
I don't know if anything I said is of any assurance to you but I wanted to see if it could help. Not going to college right after high school is pretty common and maybe you won't have to take that much math. I know at some schools, certain majors only have to take one semester of math. Some colleges(I don't know if all do this) will even offer tutoring services for you if you're struggling for a class. Good luck anon. I hope you can find something that works for you.
>>4867>A bacelors degree is only 2 years. It's also free if you're a regular student.
Lol, where do you live where this is true? Most Bachelor's degrees take 4 years, and if you're in certain STEM programs it can take 5 years.
I just started university at 20, I’m still pretty stunned because I never thought that I’d be able to attend. I’ve been having such a whirlwind of positive and negative emotions throughout my first week, but overall I’m just grateful to be there.
Hmm but the students, they’re generally smart, well spoken, and thoughtful with their ideas in class, but most of them seem to be sort of bland as individuals. Their humor is what puzzles me the most, all of the jokes they find funny are super corny, sort of like dad jokes. Then again, maybe I just haven’t gotten to know anyone well enough, although my impression of the general crowd has been steady for a week.
I’m really hoping to make some likeminded friends. I just don’t really understand the subtleties of the university social dynamics yet, and it’s tough to integrate because I started in the winter semester.
Nta but maybe they meant associates degree? I see a lot of people mix the two up so I assume that's what they meant. I think the soonest you can finish a bachelor's is three years but that's if you're in some accelarated program that a school might offer for specific majors and you want to do a suicide mission all throughout school. 4-5 years is the average like you said though.
I need advice that can only come anonymously. I spent 2 years as a Accounting/HR dual major, and last minute decided to switch to a psych major with a minor in HR. I was unhappy as a business student, all I could imagine was working a shitty job as an HR rep and dying at my desk.
The problem is, psych majors dont have much of a future in careers. I think I made the wrong choice, but if I stayed a business major I would have killed myself.
I am so passionate about psychology, and learning. I want to get my PhD and do research. Maybe one day teach at a university. But im so scared that I have no future. That I will be stuck in some shitty retail job till I die.
TL;DR Are any of you guys psych majors who went on to be successful?
Hey, I'm not a psych major myself, but I've known some who have great careers now. It seems like they go into marketing; one of them I indirectly know has become a UX designer for some tech company.
A (psych) degree is only useless if you don't have any skills that you can apply to the workforce.
Hopefully that helps. Good luck!!
>>4920>but most of them seem to be sort of bland as individuals
Do you think you come off as an individual?
Honestly, I wouldn't waste too much time on "social dynamics". In most universities, everyone minds their own business (unless it's a small, private one) unless you get yourself involved in their life. Also, it's common for people to begin and end on random semesters, I wouldn't sweat it in terms of integrating. A lot of people never see each other in classes again if it's a GE.
It depends more on the major, imo, than the university you're going into.
I am sticking with a business track of psychology, I feel like it will have more opportunities for me. I am going to take as many internships as i can handle so my resume doesnt look so sad lol
I know that getting a job nowadays in heavily reliant on networking and developing yourself to be appealing to employers, but it feels like so much when trying to prioritize studies.
- I wish I could have finished school at the first place I went to because of it's name recognition among more elite circles, but I don't think I was ready (not a very good student, not that mature yet).
- Being at a larger state school feels so isolating, which makes me more unmotivated to attend events and develop connections (it should be the opposite since that would help with the loneliness, but I'm not an outgoing person).
>me vs. the type of people in my major
How do I fit in
my political science teacher is so fucking cute omg.
she's shorter than me by at least a head, with loooong red hair. kinda plump, always wearing heels and dresses. like a cute lil witch i guess.
also she likes dr.who! her office door is painted in the guise of a tardis.
i've never had any interest in dr. who ( & i doubt i'll start ) but hell.
i won't rant about her too much for reasons but shit! i'll probably do really well in her class since she's so damn cute (provided we don't have to give presentations)
>mfw I passed my exams for the first semester of the year but can't find an internship despite being competent enough, so I won't be able to graduate this year
>tfw I found out today that an idiot from high school is attending my university in the same class as mine
I know a lot of people say it's bad to take a semester off because you'll lose focus, but I feel like I'm barely able to keep up. Since I started college, I've always taken the summer session and now I'm a junior and I feel exhausted and burnt out. In the time I'm gone, I want to get officially diagnosed with ADHD because it or something similar to it severely impacts my life, finally get my driver's license so I can maybe get started on moving away from my family which is distracting and mentally exhausting for me to deal with. I also plan on starting a structured routine I can follow in hopes of me making sure that I can succeed at school in the future.
I want to switch majors, but the GPA for that major is the highest GPA requirement if you want to switch into it at my school and it infuriates me because I see people who have trouble with the entry classes in that major, yet for me, those classes were decently easy and my GPA was weighed down by all the times I got severely depressed and shit when I took GEs. I know I'm a fuck up, but it makes me feel disgusted because I keep on going on and I don't want to just keep going on, barely surviving, always fighting to reach the minimum. I want to thrive and I feel cramped and unable to because of my living situation.
I feel bad if I take a quarter off because I want to graduate as fast as possible. But at the same time, I want to be able to get excellent grades that I think better reflect my abilities (since I'm horrible at turning in homework on time, unable to focus even if I'm trying my hardest to, etc), especially since I want to go to graduate school.
What I'm scared of is that I'll lose motivation and then quit college altogether…but I don't think I will, I'm super determined to finish. I want to finish well and I feel unable to. But maybe it's all in my head.
Any advice or input is appreciated. Are there ways for someone who has extreme issues with focusing on tasks, turning in things on time, overall bad executive function, etc. to improve without quitting school? I feel stuck, I want to free myself and then go back to school when I feel okay with myself and when I'm not surrounded by crappy people.
If it's not clear, I know all my problems are because of me. I'm trying to fix them. I've had periods of months where I could stick to a routine, but then I'd always come crashing down, unmotivated and depressed. Structuring things is exhausting for me, but it's also the only way for me to get anything done. I feel a little pathetic because i feel like only medication can help fix my shit personality, but honestly, even that is silly because I doubt my parents would be willing to pay for my prescription even though they could because they think pills are bullshit. I know they don't magically fix everything, either, but at least I maybe could do a few normal things throughout the day without feeling mentally drained from having to concentrate on doing them.
As you could probably note, my hatred for these people is wholly irrational. There is no sense of twisted justice, no retribution against a perceived wrong other than my natural inclination to loathe such wrongness. The rush I get from poisoning these boring fucks has died down but a cool fulfillment remains. It makes the shitty piece of paper at the end all the more worth it.
I'm glad I started being so honest with myself those months back! And I'm glad my prose could entertain. The Ming dynasty bit was my favorite part.
"And you, my Tyrians,
harry with hatred all his line, his race to come:
make that offering to my ashes, send it down below.
No love between our peoples, ever, no pacts of peace!
Come rising up from my bones, you avenger still unknown,
to stalk those Trojan settlers, hunt with fire and iron,
now or in time to come, whenever the power is yours.
Shore clash with shore, sea against sea and sword
against sword-this is my curse-war between all
our peoples, all their children, endless war!"
I did too well on one midterm and it's making me nervous. I only did well because it was an open book midterm and I was sly enough to handwrite the answers from assignments word by word. It's not because I knew the material in and out but because I'm good at being sly. Sigh.
i got a ~90~ on my polsci quiz!
don't know how good i feel about it though considering it was suuuper easy ( there were like, five joke questions that only a straight up idiot could've missed ) but ?? my first a! omg.
on the flipside there's this college foundations course i've gotta take that's incredibly busted.
the teacher means well but i find her intimidating, so it's difficult to speak to her during office hours to get extra info on what we're supposed to be doing. ick
>>5777>only an idiot could have missed
you betcha there actually were people who missed those lol. congrats on your a! you deserve it!
What poem is that from? I like it.
Pitch due on Monday, not even sure what it's about. Have a emergency attendance meeting on the 13th.
I've pretty much totally fucked it all, but I'm only 23 right so what's the rush…
I still have nightmares about my university. Nothing explicitly horrible happened and graduated from an "elite" school with a very good degree, but the whole experience left me so anxious I can't hold down a job and I never want to work in my area of expertise. At least I'm not suicidal any more, but this place is still hanging over me. I wish I could turn back time and go somewhere else.
What sorts of little things made you anxious anon? It's okay if you don't want to answer
finished one of my finals today
haha i have a huge coding project worth 17% of my grade and it's due next Friday and I haven't even started yet haha rip
So much to doooo and less than two months to finish it all ARGHHHH.
Send me good luck anons ;_;
Are you a freshman? And what've you got to complete?
Also have 2 months left. The dissertation and I never have to return to school again.
Literally knowing all be out soon is one of the only things keeping me going. I don't have a job lined up yet, but never having to do school again feels really, really nice.
I just started my first semester in January. I've been really falling behind and with that I've just come tumbling down, missing assignments and missing classes falling deeper into my insecurity. I spoke with my adviser and if I pull out now I won't have any academic repercussions and will only have to pay 50% of my fees. The thing is, everyone around me is totally against this, my family and even my friends. Should I pull through and get some shitty marks so that I don't completely waste this semester? Or just reset and retry in the fall? I feel so defeated at this point.
Second year, I have this second year project to finish and three other assignments before the end of april. I feel I'm working as hard as I can but I really really am gunning for a first class (a 4.0 in America?) so the stress is REAL.
I've been trying to get everything "finished" at least one to two weeks before a hand in so I can go back over and make sure I haven't missed anything or fucked up on my spelling/grammar etc. The rest of my class are being really lackadaisical though and it's making me feel really stupid and anxious because I'm like a) what if I'm literally doing too much or b) what if they get better than me despite the hard work I've been trying to put in? also c) why the fuck don't they care more? It's like £9000+ a year. I'm not wasting that much money and not getting the best out of it, reeeeeeeeeeeeee
Also I know first and Second year aren't as important as final year, but I've had the mentality of "start as you mean to go on" or whatever the phrase is. I used to be a NEET, and then my career after that fucked up hard, so I'm just trying to be a hardworking person and not completely shit on everything.
Send hugs and orange juice.
I should have started studying for this last final earlier.
Very much over this school year where I felt so isolated and disconnected from the uni experience.
Please give me strength to do well on this last exam.
>tfw only black men approach you
I sort of did that, but the program that I finished is not very conducive to part-time work. And I am not sure I could handle working full-time and school due to having to leave and come back already.
Gluck, it's a smart idea for financial stability even though there is more work involved.
It's summer break for me now YEEAHHHHHH
For one month until summer school, wew.
, I wasn't confident going into the test, but I still gave it my best try. Many other people stayed until the end of the exam time, so I think the curve will be forgiving.(YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US)
Despite the fact I’m finished for summer and have some months off, I’m super stressing out. Final year next year and I need a first class. We don’t get reading lists until freshers so it’s kinda like… I’m in limbo… I’m doing nothing… I feel like I’m going insane. I’ve been trying to snipe resources online from other unis to build some form of reading list but I don’t think it’s enough. I can’t talk about it irl to anyone because they’re just like anon you’re too hard on yourself :))) but really I know me more than anyone else does and I know I need to study over summer or I won’t get what I want. ARGH.
I feel you on sinking into the dumps when there are no goals.
Have a schedule for self-study, particularly the subjects that you think you are weak in? There are so many more online class resources than ever before.
Or alternatively, pick up a new skill like speed reading, coding, crafting, etc.
You got this anon!
thank you based anon <3
I’m trying to set up a schedule yes, mostly based around a reading list. It’s just annoying having nobody tell me what specifically to look at. Maybe I don’t trust myself to look at the right things? But I guess I have to leap of faith it.
Honestly I feel better just from someone cheering me on about my real feels on it all. Thanks anon <3 <3
god i hope i get the scholarship i applied for
that would lift a lot off my chest
True, but part of learning and self-development is knowing how to give yourself direction and motivation outside of someone else's guidance and structure.
For undergrad the general subjects are about the same across pretty much all schools, so you'll be fine gleaning whatever free resources are available.
Not a leap of faith, but confidence in your work ethic and skills! That will be a big factor for later academic performance and work. I'm also learning how to change my perspective on feeling useless without keeping up with my studies over break. (Being secure about oneself while also working hard is quite the balancing trick)>>7503
I hope you do too!
I've been super stressed. There were strikes all year. I didn't study hard enough and I'll probably have to do retakes… luckily they're not capped. Moving in with some nice girls next year so that's good, got attacked by my last housemates so that's not so good :> family aren't playing nice while I'm on hols…
How do I stop feeling so overwhelmed with workload?
Yesterday I got 4 books at the library and upon seeing how much it is, I totally freaked. I need to read them and write 2 papers about them. I also have 3 exams coming up. I actually still got some time, the papers are due at the end of september and the exams are in the middle of october but I already feel as if time is running up.
Whenever I have exams or just some project to do, I go into "study mode" completely: meaning I neglect my hygiene, my room looks like trash, I'm incredibly moody, but the worst thing is, that I don't even get that much shit done (instead I browse lc for example).
All the other students seem to be able to balance studying for a bit each day and also having some free time. On exam day I feel anxious and miserable, probably even wear some dirty clothes, meanwhile some of the other girls even took the tine to apply makeup and are a lot more relaxed and optimistic - which probably affects their marks in a positive way.
Hey anon I've been there! What usually helps for me is breaking these herculean tasks into smaller, more doable tasks. That alone already helps in making things less scary. Then I usually schedule all the little tasks, estimating how long each one will take and planning when to do them. When doing this I take into account self-care and breaks to relax, and I take those as any other task.
Personally, it makes worlds of difference to me to have proof that everything can be done in time. Stick to your plans but also don't be afraid to change them, some flexibility will always be needed even though you should strive to follow your original plan as closely as possible.
It will be alright, you got this.
>>11436>How do I stop feeling so overwhelmed with workload?
Idk how far along you are in school, but university was insurmountable for me when I first started. Things got seemingly easier in my junior year, I had a good idea of how long projects/studying took and how much effort I needed to put in to get the grade I wanted. Everyone I knew in school reached this point, too, so you'll get there, too.
>Yesterday I got 4 books at the library and upon seeing how much it is, I totally freaked. I need to read them and write 2 papers about them. I also have 3 exams coming up. I actually still got some time, the papers are due at the end of september and the exams are in the middle of october but I already feel as if time is running up.
It's no fun being stressed, but unfortunately I think that's just a part of the experience of school sometimes. Everyone gets a bit out of wits when midterms/finals come up. What >>11437
said is good advice. Some people like doing smaller/easier things first and leaving the long/hard things at the end so that they feel like they accomplished more. But I always did the things I dreaded most first, and leave easier things to end. Just my preference, figure out works for you!
>Whenever I have exams or just some project to do, I go into "study mode" completely: meaning I neglect my hygiene, my room looks like trash, I'm incredibly moody,
I was guilty of this, and looked like absolute trash, but didn't care because I just wanted to get as high as grades as possible. Sorry, I can't give you advice on that.
>but the worst thing is, that I don't even get that much shit done (instead I browse lc for example).
This used to be me! I found what helped was breaking up studying so that I would do something like study for 2 hours, then for 1 hour I'd watch a show or shitpost, and repeat as many times until I felt comfortable about the subject matter (or at least as much as I could handle).
>All the other students seem to be able to balance studying for a bit each day and also having some free time.
It might just seem that way. I was super elitist while I was in school, and couldn't believe people had time to go out and have fun while passing. And that was just the thing, they were ONLY passing. I thought everyone was getting straight A's and shit, definitely not the case!
>On exam day I feel anxious and miserable, probably even wear some dirty clothes, meanwhile some of the other girls even took the tine to apply makeup and are a lot more relaxed and optimistic - which probably affects their marks in a positive way.
Again, I don't have that much to say on this since I always looked like shit. I found by studying a lot helped with anxiety, and just letting go once it was test time and doing my best to not get too worked up if I got to a question I didn't know how to answer.
Good luck, Anon! You can do it! As someone who just finished their degree recently, all the misery and joy of school will be over before you know it.
>tfw the only thing really keeping me from this degree are my worries over whether i'll be smart enough for it
damn it i'll work hard and i know there'll be dull moments but i'm even excited for them? like i can't wait to be bored and figure out how shit works lol
i know that makes no sense!
but yeah in an hour i guess i'll settle down and study some
ahhhhh i'm excited?? but also apprehensive
OH my fucking GOD i just missed a few huge assignments in a class and my A may drop to a C? i've turned in everything else but i always forget about those online exams ffs! can't even be too angry at the teacher or anyone but myself bc i know i had weeks to do them, i just absolutely fucking forgot and i NEVER FUCKING check the online section for this course because i'm a dumbfuck
also in another class i've missed about 5 assignments lol. i should have a c (?) but i had an A for midterms because i guess he did not count them. sort of shamelessly asked if i could turn them in for late credit or something just in case he tries to go back and override my grade? i feel like scum but what else can i do lmfao
anyway i want to kill myself because of this laziness. or at least get a pill that will inspire me to work rather than fart around on the internet. my first semester was damn good but now i'm fucking up
at least my other courses are ok.
The pills help for shit, sis
Boost you for up to 2 months and leave you permanently tired afterwards.
Don't go this route
>get month long winter break
>tell myself I'm going to do self-studying and work hard at improving my skills
>just play video games all break long
I don't actually feel that bad about it
>spend all day yesterday doing programming homework for school
>"Ok I'm gonna finish all this homework today and study all day tomorrow!"
>watch anime all day today and study for like 2 hours lol
w-well at least the program I wrote is pretty cool? It takes a spreadsheet from Google Spreadsheets and turns it into a latex document… I feel like a haxx0r
Just wanted to remind you all that you are doing great. 2019 will be your year, and I know it!
Had a mental breakdown and basically shit the bucket in all my classes, next semester I'm retaking all three classes and plan on passing!
Lets go :)))))))) wish me luck y'all
i got my meds, feeling in a good place and ready to take on the new semester!
give it some effort & do ur best anon! luck doesn't exist
>>19770>give it some effort & do ur best anon!
imma do that! thx u
Anyone here also finishing up their endmost semesters of computer science?
My resume is dry asf besides a few personal projects and an internship. I feel so behind after going through r/cscareerquestions, should I look into doing undergrad research to boost my resume?
Idk. Life’s going well for the most part. In the middle of a 3 month uni break rn and recently found out that le biffle didn’t make the course he wanted in our home state, which means itll be an LDR for 2 more years.
I like him a lot- he’s a wonderful human. Problem is, 2 years is the best case scenario. If not it’ll then be 4 more years which I don’t think is feasible, so it’s nerve-wracking ;___;
I'm buried under work and projects, spent my Christmas vacation working and have 1 week left to do the last little project I need to do for the first semester. I can't take all the stress and anguish, I have a panic attack every time I'm stuck on something. Oh and I need to find an internship.
Honestly I think I'm going to get out of here, if only to safeguard what little sanity I have left. I feel myself going more insane with every passing day.
Right now I feel quite optimistic about this term, got my shit together but we'll see how it goes when things start to pile up and I'm stressed.
Beginning to get a little sad that my uni time is ending, but I also want to get the hell outta here.
Btw, there's the task accountability thread in >>6922 if you want more short-term encouragement or a place to dump overwhelming to-dos. You got this anons!
From someone who has friends who are super into grad school/research, only do research if you're reeeeeeally interested in a topic. Don't do it to boost your resumé. Heck, even my friends who were very into their research got burnt out very quickly.
>>19775>I feel so behind after going through r/cscareerquestions
You shouldn't, plenty of people graduate with no projects or internships and still find a job. Browsing there is like going on college confidential in high school and thinking the posters there represent the average student.
How much does going to a good uni matter? I'm getting close to finishing all my units at my local community college to transfer, there are some mediocre local unis nearby so I could continue living with my parents which would be much cheaper and less stressful. All of the famous unis are far away, is it worth the extra hassle to go to one of those instead? I lived in a dorm once and hated it, uni lifestyle isn't really for me but I'd deal with it if the end result was good.
i feel like it depends on your major
if you're going for something like computer science or art then your portfolio is going to matter above your grades and other activities (basing this off past research)
how're you paying for uni btw?
it depends where you are. The top schools here in the US generally have the best connections and have a name brand. Sure you could get creme circles for less but people will, wrongfully or not, look down on it and prefer Oreos. But that is just speaking generally and really it's all a crapshoot. you have no idea how the decisions you make will turn out.
I'm a CS major, so far have absolutely nothing in my portfolio and 0 internships, so I should probably get on that. >how're you paying for uni btw?
I got lucky and my parents are willing to pay for everything.
I probably should try to go to a top school since my grades are good, I'm just really not looking forward to the dorm part.
It matters if you study business, finance, law oriented subjects.
First, because they have contact with top companies, and will help you build a much better contact network and job potential.
Secondly, higher grade students and professors to interact with will give you a better eduation.
But for meme majors or STEM it matter more which country you study in than specific univeristies. Your internships may not be as grand but that doesnt matter since competence is more about personal skill and hard work.
How do you guys study? I just write everything to memorize it because I can't know if I've really remembered something until I try to write it again. As a result I have lots of papers which look like demonic writings like this
>>21181>Do practice problems if available>Write down key points, distill main ideas>Test myself on concepts, making sure I understand and know how to explain it to someone else>Also rewrite things I have to memorize
Do you ever study with someone else? I think it would be helpful (not for theory but for problems) but I don't have any friends and it's scary to just ask someone if we can study together.
I also like to draw on my notes when I get sick of studying, pic related it's me when I realize I will never be as smart as I wish.
Rarely. I tend to get more done when I'm alone, but sometimes I wish I had a study friend that was working on something else for the company, or someone who was in my classes so we could work on problems together.sorry those aren't my notes, I used to doodle on my notes, but now I like to keep doodles and notes separate
I don't use notes. My handwriting sucks and I found that I never actually looked at my notes anyways so I end up just rereading the textbook or looking online. Probably is a poor method of studying but it works for me.
If what you're doing works, that's fine, but research points towards analogue writing as a way to retain information. Not because you'll look at it again, but the act of writing it helps you remember.
Yeah I usually also never reread my notes but it's so helpful to just write things down
Not sure if this belongs in here, but the normal vent thread reached its limit.
I'm so tired of being such a doormat, everybody always continues stepping over me.
My whole life my parents ingrained in me to never talk when others do, to always be polite and helpful, I rarely talk at all and yet my father often calls me arrogant and an asshole, no matter how my siblings treated me, I was always only told that I as the oldest need to look after them. Whenever I complain about costumers mistreating me (and me not doing anything) he ends up scolding me "Is it really so bad, can't you just suck it up and be friendly?!" (even when I told him that I was). I constantly work extra for my collegues, I even secretely give costumers discounts because I'm scared of how they would react if I told them how much it really costs.
Today again, I wasted over 4 hours in a class, because I was too much of a chicken to stand up for myself. I only wanted to ask the teacher 1 question, yet she chatted for ages with others, helped the girls sitting next, behind and in front of me, always only skipping me, until there was only another student, her and I left. I waited til 20 minutes after class, yet she still wasn't finished.
I should have just said "Hey, I only have one question and I have to go to work soon". But instead I didn't get my question answered and nearly missed my train.
Now I have to go again next week, just for something that wouldn't even take a minute to answer.
I know, being assertive for the first time sucks after spending your life being passive. But once you rip the bandaid off it feels great.
Is there anyway you can email your professor, or go into office hours to ask your question?
I failed one of my classes and have to do a re-assessment over summer (in august) but my teachers arent being helpful. I emailed them asking for info and they basically told me they wouldnt help in a condescending way. I cant study without their help and I dont know what to do :(
I'm getting a breast reduction during the third week of the new semester, so balancing 5 classes with recovering will be great :)))))))
I was hoping I'd get an appointment during the summer but this was the earliest my doctor (and insurance) could do.
I'm looking forward to not hating my body anymore but also not looking forward to the stress of catching up with classwork.
Just go over their heads and talk to the dean.
I finished my first year as an engineering major and came out of it hating STEM. I was taking two classes this summer, dropped one of them, and am doing poorly in the other one. I've been dreading fall semester because I'm currently registered for a bunch of STEM classes, and thinking of my future as an engineer fills me with dread.
I have advising appointments to switch to a liberal arts major within the week though, so I feel a bit more optimistic now. It's a less valuable degree, but I figure if I'm going to go through college I might as well not be completely miserable every waking moment of it. If a degree just proves to employers you can make a commitment for four years and check that box, then I'm okay studying a field I won't get a job in, as long as the classes actually interest me.
Endgame is to become a housewife anyways, so I'd only work until I had kids or if I got bored once they started school or something.
Then… Don't have the breast reduction surgery? >tfw I wish I had big anime boobies
I was always curious, have girls with big tiddies ever tried to make their back muscles and their upper body stronger to support the weight? Getting ugly scars would make me think twice tbh
Im doing a STEM degree and realising I hate it. I wish I could do something creative or practical, but my "natural talent" is in maths so its my only option. I dont even care about my job prospects after, I only came here to escape being a NEET lol.
Yeah if you’re gonna be housewife then your degree literally wont matter lmao, might as well switch
Absolutely not, I've been trying to get this approved by insurance for a year I'm not postponing it. Also mine are saggy and point at the bottom they look gross as fuck>tfw no cute flat chest>>27882
I've tried that, but working out with them is pretty miserable. One reason for surgery is that they make running impossible. In addition I've tried Physical Therapy, pain meds, and countless custom bras/fittings, all I've had to do to prove that I need this medically.
Which class did you hate the most in your degree? For me it was animal biology, way too much shit to memorize that I give zero shits about anyways.
Routing and switching. It was all through cisco's online classroom, it was dreadful and boring as fuck.
Im staring my 3rd year (3rd year at uni but 2nd year on this course) in september. I havent been able to make any friends the entire time Ive been here. its literally the only reason I even went. I get fomo seeing and thinking about all the people with friends, but I just hate all the things you have to do to make friends :(
What specifically do you fear missing out on? I assume it's something that you don't hate. So, skip all the things you hate and go straight to what you want to do.
Like, say you are "missing out" on movie night with the girls. Go straight to that. Invite potential friends to movie night. Bond doing the thing you want to do.
Pople use to sit in the same place in the class. Star noticing who is around you, who you are familiar ( just that you recoggnize), make some small talk, invite them to do group work and stuff and from there you can chose
I have fomo for socialising in general, including the stuff I DO hate. I see everyone else having fun and wish I could enjoy those things like they do. I cant skip the beginning steps of meeting people because you have to get to know them first, which is the worst part>>28395
everyone already has close friend groups at this point, I cant really force myself into their circle. Im also awful at small talk, and even when I do manage, I struggle to follow up
Is it awkward/creepy if I'm 24 going on 25 and trying to be friends with people who are 19~21? I had to change majors because the uni I wanted to attend for my first major shut down before I could graduate and the next available choice is far too expensive so I'm in the middle of pivoting to the next closest major with the majority of the credits I've already earned.
The reason why I ask is because twice now I've overcome my AVPD to try to make college friends only to somehow end up telling them how old I am to their shock. They always say they can't believe it/thought I was 18-19, etc. but then it becomes kind of an awkward air between us or in one situation I haven't been invited back to do stuff since.
Should I start lying about my age? Should I even bother with these friendships or keep living as a shut-in beyond going to class?
I'd really rather not use the internet to find local people my age to interact with, but I also don't want to go out to bars or clubs or anything like that either. I'd rather be a shut-in if that's the case.
That’s not a huge age gap, I’m 22 and hung out with a 25 y.o who’s a college friend of my buddy last weekend. You should be good
No, I had a friend my freshman year (I was 19/20) who was 24-25 and starting late due to health problems. She was chill and age was never a problem. I never really thought about it. She could also buy alcohol.
Not creepy at all. I’m actually not in uni anymore, just chanced upon this thread, but one thing to give you perspective is that once you’re out of school, you’ll be working with people of all ages, and possibly becoming friends with these coworkers if you get along with them, so age is really not such a big deal.
Specifically for your situation, when I was in school, I’ve known a lot of people who went to college later or came back for a second degree. Most of the time, I didn’t realize they were older until they told me. It really wasn’t a big deal.
There's older people at uni friends with freshers, I wouldn't worry at all. Everyones an academic and everyones there to learn and make friends. Age isn't a factor.
i think it's ok anon! the closest friend i have in uni is a bit older than you! and im 20 :) i was a bit surprised, sure, but i think it's mostly freshers who make everything awkward haha i'm also working partime at school and some of the longer term coworkers are around 25-26 too but that has nver been a problem and we get along like any other students
should i send an email to my new roommates? or just wait until move-in day? it’s been a month and nobody has said anything yet.
what if they make fun of me
They won’t make fun of you, my roommates always reached out to me to talk about any preferences and who would bring what to the dorm. I say go for it.
two of my roommates last year reached out to each other on fb but not me cos they were afraid they got the wrong account haha ))': i'd say go for it cos i was lucky everyone became close to each other anyways after move-in but otherwise they were also talking about basic who brings what etc since we lived in a townhouse. If it's your first res experience definitely reach out cos i know quite a lot of other houses had awkward flatmates so i feel this also helped in a sense
my flatmates thought I was weird and eventually stopped talking to me
thanks for the reassurance anons, i did it! i guess it's better to know if they're rude beforehand anyways (even though i know that they have no reason to be)>>28525
aw because of the email or did something happen? they haven't replied to me yet
I fucked up.
My parents won't pay for a liberal arts major.
I should not have switched.
All I've been doing this week in my new dorm is crying out of dread for the upcoming year and shame at being a failure and disappointment. I hate college. I don't know how I'll get through another year. Changing to an easier and more interesting major was the only thing I could think to do to make it bearable but now I don't even have that hope.
I just feel like a failure ;-;
Aw, I'm so sorry anon. Can't you still cancel classes/get a refund/at least talk to your school about it?
And why not go for something with more job opportunities than arts but less grueling than STEM, like business? I've met a few people who have switched out of engineering or tech to it because of reasons like yours. I know you don't want a career in it (waifu goals, right?) but it might satisfy your parents more to say "yeah, look at all these accounting and finance jobs available!" or something.
Im starting my 3rd year in a couple of weeks. I have no friends. I want to fix it but even looking at facebook pages for clubs gives me a minor panic attack
Also starting my third year tomorrow and barely made any friends so far. My school is in a major city that lots of students commute in from (sometimes from far away like a 2+ hours one way) so people just want to leave right away after their classes. The clubs are also dead due to this and either way I feel too introverted and nervous to even want to try to go to some of the active ones. I also spent my whole life until now being a dysfunctional shit and therefore entering my third year I still can't drive and also never had a job. I'm a huge loser and feel really fucked.
You're just gonna have to suck it up and get yourself out there, anon. No pain, no gain. If you don't even try, you will regret it.
I've been sick for the past five days and it sucks. I can hardly focus, nothing I study sticks with me, and I have heavy coursework this semester. I can't afford to be sick right now, I feel like I've tried every remedy but some things you just have to wait out I guess.
I hate to be the gross person blowing their nose in class too but I can't afford to miss lectures right now either.
have you tried nasal spray? (the chemical kind not the saline). that plus lots of tea/lemsip and ibuprofen helps me. nasal spray is honestly a miracle, it turned what would normally be a week+ cold into a couple of days and really helped me sleep
No, I bought some saline stuff yesterday and have been using it but it really only clears things up for five minutes or so. Thanks for the suggestion, I'll try to get some tomorrow.
My university forces students to go to army school and stay there for 20 days to study stufff that has nothing to do with our major. And we won't be allowed to leave for just even a day. It''s even crazier because those stuff that we gonna be studying at that army school we already studied in highschool. This is fucked up. English isn't my native language so sorry for my bad grammar.
I'm from a developing country in south east asia
Well, it could've been worse. Most of your neighboring countries have like a 1-2 years compulsory military service. 20 days of boredom doesn't sound that bad in comparison.
Should I do a PhD or just run away ? I don't want to spend another 3 years in this hellhole, yet at the same time I don't want to enter the workforce either. I feel like my life is over before it even started.
I'm sure this has occured to you, but can you not do your PhD somewhere that isn't a "hellhole"?
If that's not an option I say so go for the PhD, don't let crap get in the way of what you want.
Not really, I already signed for a PhD in the hellhole. And there's the fact that 90% of the good labs are situated in said hellhole.
I could just walk away from it, they're not going to chase me all the way across the country, but finding another PhD would be difficult.
All I want in life is peace and quiet, but it seems doomed to fail.
what would you like to do? there are plenty of places to live and jobs to do that are peaceful and relaxed? are you american? if you are your student debt might be a problem tho
>>29781>Are you american
Thankfully no, I have no debt and even saved up a small amount of money
>what would you like to do?
Nothing really. It goes beyond not knowing what I want to do, it's simply that nothing is appealing to me. It seems like wageslavery is all that is left for me.
> there are plenty of places to live and jobs to do that are peaceful and relaxed?
True enough, but jobs in my field are only available in big cities, and even then the vast majority are in the capital, which is the hellhole I was mentioning.
whats your field? if its that bad, dont be afraid to do something unrelated
It's applied math / machine learning / AI
Thank you for your words of encouragement miner
>>29792>cutting edge field of science and technology where further research will undoubtedly lead to the next societal and industrial revolution.>too wageslave-y
Ugh. Move to another country, get a research job with a university or institute you like in a place you like. Use a real deal supercomputer to train an AI, apply it to FPGAs and start making cute loyal catboy androids or something.
there are many things you can do with that kind of degree. people with your skills are in high demand all over the world, Im sure you can find a relevant job or a phd program somewhere nice
or ditch it all together. dont fall for the idea that just because youve sunk effort into one thing, thats all you can do. youre obv very smart so you could be successful in many things
someone should give me a story that i can write a (fake) personal essay about
I just started my first year of uni last week and I'm really getting worried about making friends. I've chatted with a few classmates but I can't seem to force myself to try and talk to my roommates.
I think this might be partially because they're predominantly men and I've literally never had a male friend before (or a boyfriend) so I have absolutely no idea how to try and break the ice and make friends with them because it just feels so different. It's getting to the point now where I'm too scared to go into the kitchen in case I bump into anyone. Anyone feel similar or have advice?
a-any other older anons at uni here?
t. 26-year-old boomer feeling like a wrinkled old shit among the youngin’s
I imagine it depends on your country and the culture there, but I found it really hard to make friends. The best way I found was to sympathise with people that were alone in what we call "TD" in my country, which is basically practical work sessions (exercises, problems and such, as opposed to lectures where you just listen to a lecturer and take notes) with fewer people. The different atmosphere makes it easier.
If your university or some clubs in your university organise some sort of new student meet-up / visit it might be a good idea to go if you're extraverted enough to survive that.
I don't really have any advice but I feel similar to you.
I've been in college for 2 years, majoring in computer science, and every new semester the number of women in my classes gets smaller and smaller. The ratio is about 1:10 women to men where I am now.
I prefer working with women and being friends with women much more. I almost wish I had done something like nursing instead.
Im starting my 3rd year and had similar problems. I havent really made any friends, and avoided the kitchen so I didnt have to talk to my flatmates. I agree with >>30044
about exercise classes. whenever we had those, or group work I found it much easier to talk to people. although we didnt have many of those classes so I didnt make any lasting friends. also clubs. are there any youd like to join? Im planning on joining a b=unch this year. p scary >>30040
Im 23. my age doesnt make me feel out of place tbh. but my crippling autism does lol
Being in college at 23 is very common actually, which is probably why you don’t feel out of place.
i have a precocious crush on one of my professors.
hes 60+ minimum and im like 22?
dont want to elaborate but were pretty close and i consider him a friend.
is this normal? i feel awful and really stupid.
Ah, ok. i know this sounds naive but he would absolutely never try anything stupid. its not his nature at all and i know this; its totally one sided. but ill be careful anyway.
Oh no it must be mind control.
Are you talking about Pavlovian conditioning? I don't think people can be manipulated or mind controlled that easily, except maybe the mentally disabled.
Not clicking that link, sorry.
Nah, you're obviously mentally unstable.
I've recently joined a sorority(it's genderless and kind of different since i don't live in the us) and i'm not sure if im regretting it. the decision i made was kind of impulsive, but i think i'm enjoying it? their culture is kind of mysogynistic but i think i'll be able to survive and get some connections out of it. does anyone else have experience with sororities or the like? Did you regret your decision?
op here, hes never said anything like this, fortunately! thanks for looking out
I'm going to school full-time to finally finish my degree. This is my first time going to school full-time since basically high school (27 now) so it's a big change for me.
I'm having serious issues keeping up and I'm tempted to drop a class. My chemistry teacher is useless, he doesn't teach anything that's actually useful for tests.
I just can't wait to be done with this shit. Just one more semester after this and then I'm done. Then it's off to Uni.
How much harder is uni than community college? I'm really nervous.
You got this!
I finished recently but I also was going to school as an older student (graduated at 27).
I would say the difference in difficulty depends on both your community college and which uni you transfer to. If you work on your time management and study skills, uni is a cake. I was able to work a bit part time during my cc days, and didn't take a job to help my transition, but looking back I definitely had time for a part time job or internships.
Sorry this chemistry class isn't great, school is mostly about learning how to put up with bullshit and survive, maybe learning a few useful skills along the way. Get that degree even if it's mostly symbolic! (Unless you're in a field the requires advanced degrees, then get that and keep going!)
I went to a society event. there were too many people and I just left. all I want is to make friends. Im such a failure
What do you mean by social event?
society event. it was a freshers event for the mountaineering society at my uni
It's okay to feel that way, the first freshers event is always scary! Try again if there's another, I'm sure you'll be able to find people in the same boat as you.
Im not even a fresher, Ive been here for 2 years already. I think Im just too autistic to make friends
There's still time, I made several good friends in my final year. Do try going back for another social if you can, it feels scary but nobody judges you in reality
I'm so fucking close to graduating that it's hard to be motivated to do anything right now.
I have only regrets about my college days. Teachers were often replaced and starting from the 2nd semester the teacher i had most lessons was snobbish and big headed and he bullied me a lot to an extend i couldn't bring myself to go there anymore. I should have done something about it, but my mental state started worsening, i did nothing and got expelled instead. Now i'm just a neet. I'm pretty sure he would laugh at what my life is.
>tfw cried in front of my ochem prof today when he had his one on one discussion with me
>tfw told him that all I want to do is sleep and apologized because i love the material its just so hard to do things on a day to day basis because of my fucked up living situation
>tfw apologized to him for detailing too much of my personal life
>tfw he asked me if i wanted to hug
>tfw first time someone has hugged me in months
im currently drinking and studying for microbiology. I cannot believe I allowed myself to be so pathetic in front of my poor professor.
It sounds like he handled it well. At least he didn't shame you. Everyone has those moments. I have. Its okay to show emotion. It never makes you weak to show your emotion.
I feel like I'm drowning and I want to drop a class so bad. But if I do, I'll feel like a failure and I'll have to take a summer class. Fuck me, I hate school. I love learning but the pressure of grades and being a "good student" ruin it for me and its hard to keep going.
I feel that completely, I apologized to him and told him how i love learning and enjoy the content but its just so hard to wake up every day. I cant drop a class either as I would lose my scholarships, it's good knowing that everyone goes through this at one point or another, thank you
How do you deal with homesickness and loneliness at uni?
I dropped out two months into the first uni I attended because I felt the homesickness and loneliness too much.
After that I attended community college from home for two and a half years and now I am looking to transfer to a university. I already got a transfer guarantee for one, but I am worried the same thing will happen again where I can't do well because I'm not at home. My family tells me it will be different sometimes because the previous university I attended was different than most (95% male, uniforms, pseudo-military environment, dangerous surrounding area so it was hard to leave campus). But I am worried that at the core I will be the same, depressed and lonely and hating my life there.
I don't think college is meant for people like me. I can't make friends, I'm not sociable at all, I do the bare minimum, I don't leave my dorm except for class and groceries, I hate dorms, I don't talk to my roommates, I don't talk to classmates, I don't do anything on campus, the college experience doesn't appeal to me at all, city life is garbage, I spend all day on my computer, I fall in and out of bad habit after bad habit and I'm constantly just wasting time until the next time I have to be somewhere. I've been skipping class lately, sleeping too much or too little, my diet is a trainwreck, I'm self-harming again…
Just a rant. I'm not about to change anything and don't need advice. I'm stuck on this track for the time being and know exactly what I'd rather be doing. I just don't know quite yet how I'd go about getting to where I want to be.
Do you mind sharing where it is you want to be?
I graduated, but I did the smart thing of taking an online class since I had a grant credit.
My student tendencies make me want to do well, but I also am fed up with school and perhaps should have just forfeited the grant.
What I'm mostly saying is I don't wanna do this project.
I'm sorry, anon. My uni experience was very similar to yours. Please, if you can, talk to someone about this. If you're self harming, that's very alarming and it pains me to know this is going on. Is there a counsellor on campus you can talk to, if you haven't already?
I've been seeing a university counselor for a little while now. I started getting better but then I got worse and didn't tell him. Now we're about to end therapy when I'm not doing so well. I'm not about to say, "By the way, I know this is our last session, but actually…" I'll get over it eventually.
I'm glad you've been seeing a counsellor and I'm sorry you're not doing so well. I hope things get better for you.
tfw you start college and everyone there are rich pompous dicks or people who feel the need to make every situation about making a stand against something. Why can't I just go back to high school and have all my normal working class frens back :(
Working class people go to trade school so they can make money, not to college so they can rack up debt.
That sucks, anon. I'm assuming you moved out of your hometown to go to college? Maybe try reconnecting with some of your high school friends. Trust me, even a short phone call or text convo really helps (I found it hard to make new friends in college, too). Hang in there. Hopefully you'll meet some chill people that aren't pretentious activists in the future.
Congrats anon, I'm really happy for you.
Ez solution, don't have kids
simba remember who…
I'm days away from my exam for my post-grad certificate. Lately I've realized that I'll probably have to cobble together two or more part-time jobs to make ends meet. Very few positions in my city pay above minimum wage and I can't afford to move. I hope they keep me at my seasonal job so I can look for another one to supplement my income. I see the food bank in my future for sure.
Is it better for me to immediately get my undergraduate, or for me to take classes I'll need if I want to have a chance of getting accepted for the Master's degree I want, and then graduate with my undergrad?
Elaborate on what you mean. Do you have less than 18 hours of coursework in the field you want to Master in? If so, do those first probs
Welp, I just quit my PhD.
I don't really feel bad about it. My thesis was going nowhere, and my advisor was awful (who is partly to blame for my thesis going nowhere). I will miss the nice people in the lab however.
I do feel anxious when thinking of the uncertain future, but I want to believe it's better to take a plunge into the unknown instead of rotting along the predetermined path.
If you had the strength, you could live…
Fuckin Company Vidcon 2019 shut down my university so I don't even know if I'll graduate from my program rrrrrrrrRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEn ALL OF MY HARD WORK WASTED
Without doxing yourself, what program / thesis subject.
Vixra lets anyone publish anything remotely scientific if you feel like it.>>34681
The subject is machine learning. I realised I already posted in this thread but forgot, so I'm >>29773>>29778>>29789>>29792
So there's the conclusion to that story. In the end, I should have run away 6 months ago.
Gather all your notes, literature, and works where you are named and publish them to a blog, github, arxiv, et al…
Academia is a scam unless you can network into a good job or position.
At the least you have some education and some proof of work; you can still make a public portfolio to advertise your skill to employers and benchmark your progress.
`Cloud GAI' and `ML in the cloud' are a starting point.
I have a master's degree since I live in Europe, and we start our PhDs after Masters. I think that's good enough. I made one paper that's under review now, and some open source contributions, not much else.
Something is better than nothing.
You can use your notes to make a blog about ML and give hot takes. markdown / LaTeX your notes and publish them to HTML and export to a blog while you add commentary about it. Create some CS/ML tutorials from your notes.
That's one way to build a portfolio if you feel like CS/ML is a career path that won't bore you to death.
There are plenty of resources like that already, I don't think I could add anything interesting to the mix. Honestly, I don't like the CS /ML community. I would rather not get involved.
This might be an odd thing, but I really despise putting my name on things, whether it is my work or something I've written.
Perhaps this is some trait acquired from too much imageboard usage.
Is it like fremdschaden + reverse impostor syndrome? I have similar behaviors that feel like a mixture of fremdschaden and reverse impostor syndrome. I feel guilty to take credit even when it is necessary. Does that sound familiar or am I crazy.
On a lighter note, you can still transition to other skills because college age people are still young (which I assume you are).
Be like water my friend.>>34713
>>34714>Is it like fremdschaden + reverse impostor syndrome?
I had to look fremdshaden up. Wikitionary says "to feel ashamed about something someone else has done; to be embarrassed because someone else has embarrassed themselves (and doesn't notice) ". And by "reverse impostor syndrome", I'm not sure whether you mean thinking other, actually competent people are impostors, or thinking that you yourself are competent when in truth you are the impostor.
In any case, I do not think it stems from either of these things. I think I just have a strong compulsion to stay anonymous. The sentence "I don't want anyone to remember me" probably encapsulates it well. I feel like for every person that knows me, or remembers me, I lose a bit of my identity, of my individuality, of my sense of self.
Anecdote : When I go back to see my parents, my mother often mentions meeting some person who I went to school with (think elementary or middle school) but was not close to saying they came up to her asking about me, and stuff like that. Sometimes I genuinely don't remember the person, and sometimes I do, but pretend to my mother that I do not remember them anyways. Whatever case it is, it always makes me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious to know that someone I had not though about in years, maybe more than a decade thought about me and remembered me.
I'm not sure what the same is for that sort of thinking pattern, or if there even is one, but that's the best way I can come up with to articulate those feelings right now.
>On a lighter note, you can still transition to other skills because college age people are still young (which I assume you are)
Definitely, I was the youngest person in my lab by quite a margin. Still, I do regret wasting a good part of my youth doing something I did not truly enjoy, just to do what was expected of me.
I forgot to add this to >>34718
>Be like water my friend.
Thank you. I aspire to be.
There are plenty of regretful college students in Starbucks(tm) around the world; I have a degree but learned nothing. Don't dwell on the time you `wasted' but on the time you still have.
Children are heirs to the throne, and I assume you had big shoes to fill. I'm sure it is the prestige of the degree, not the degree itself?
You will be remembered by many more people than you think. If you don't want to answer the following question then don't, it is very personal (nothin personnel kid): why does your ego change through other's memories of you? Is it the expectations you think they have? Why?
Everyone has three masks: one they show strangers, one they show their close family and friends, and one no-one will ever see.
t. nosy schizo
>Children are heirs to the throne, and I assume you had big shoes to fill.
Not really, I was just good at schoolwork, and so was expected to continue doing higher and higher prestige studies.
>You will be remembered by many more people than you think. If you don't want to answer the following question then don't, it is very personal (nothin personnel kid): why does your ego change through other's memories of you? Is it the expectations you think they have? Why?
I do not know. I do not think I can explain it logically either. I just feel that it "dilutes" or "tarnishes" the purity of my self. It's hard to put into words, really, and sounds very conceited when it actually is written out.
My ideal world would be one where I would be free to roam wherever, and do whatever whenever, but without it affecting the world around me, and without anyone being aware of my existence.
Anyways, I will reflect more on this before going to bed. I might have a more detailed and insightful answer tomorrow.
If nothing observes you or your action, what is the point? Ostensibly at the very least you'd be happy and /or satisfied with how you change the world.
Being a voyeur or people watching isn't as weird as you might think.
I don't think I'm going to be returning to school for the fall semester. I can't make myself do anything school-related and I just don't care about it. I haven't been able to since I started college. My parents are going to be really disappointed. My dad because he values education above all else and was pissed about my brother taking a semester off this year.
I feel bad that I'll be letting my mom down. She believes that college is this great opportunity and that women are fucked without it. She's proud of me for going to college and for my previous academic success.
I haven't committed to not going back yet, but I know I won't. I haven't registered for classes yet and it's probably too late to do so. There'll be a chance at the start of the semester but I won't.
What will I do instead?
I want to just get a job and save up for a year or two until I can move somewhere quiet. I'm not going to reach retirement either way, so having a stable career doesn't concern me.
I just can't do it. I hardly did any schoolwork at all this year. Stopped going to class, stopped doing work, etc. Only thing that brought me satisfaction was my job.
Tried therapy already. Tried medication. Made half an attempt to "get involved." I'd rather just abandon this pursuit and move on.
I’m gonna drop out of university and i’m really worried bc in my country, having a degree is very important if you wanna get a job. But i really can’t afford uni anymore, i’m so broke. I feel so lost
I wish I could help you anon. I wish I was a rich celebrity so I could just give money out to people who need it without worrying about my finances.
choosing a major is so much pressure. i was gonna do computer science but it's too hard and annoying. also idek what i'm doing for fall because i was planning my school shit around my boyfriend and then we broke up.
is anyone out there a technical artist or who has a music degree? how are you liking it
Anyone else in too deep to drop out? I have 1.5 years left (3 semesters) and I feel so dead on the inside.
Here in the UK, we don't pick a "major" - we have to pick our field of study when we apply
I find it so stange you can just enter higher education without a subject, in england you apply for one course (e.g. mechanical engineering) then you study that subject and only that subject.
Back on point one of my friends is doing a music degree, she likes it but it is widely accepted employment prospects are basically non-existant, but hey if you have connections or a wealthy family just go for it, if that's what you want to do
I went to uni in the UK but wish I could have gone to one in the US. They seem to allow you to take a broader range of classes, choose which courses you want, take more or less credits per term, etc.
In my degree I didn’t get a choice in what a studied in my subject at all. At the end we had to exams on everything we had been taught in the subject. I also had some optional credits to fill but which were strongly recommended to be related. I hated it. I don’t know if all UK unis are exactly the same though.
Education in the US is generally more expensive and with less financial aid or student loan debt forgiveness, sadly.
I go to uni in the UK now and whilst I like the openness of the US style, I fear it would be so general you wouldn't really specialise in anything. I feel over my years at uni having to do 100 credits across my subject area with only the option for 20 open credits has forced me to really find my niche academically. If I was spread out across too many different areas I feel like you'd have a really base knowledge of something and never really develop academically.
Same exact position as you, and yes. I was already beginning to regret this shit before corona blew up and now I really
want to run for the hills even though I'm stuck and not even halfway through this crap yet.
I'm having the worst time coping with myself right now. I have no IRL friends and my classmates are not really good friends even though we pretend that we are bc we might be coworkers someday. I feel like I can't really burden them with my shit, and that their problems are even worse than mine and I can't help them either.
Burned out before the career even started.
That’s a good point and the UK system is probably better for people who don’t know their subject well or just want to focus on one thing. In my case though, I already knew what parts of my subject I liked and didn’t like and was forced to do classes on the ones I didn’t like. I’m someone who has a million things I’m passionate about and would have loved to do a bit of this and a bit of that and then somehow linking as many as possible together in a career later. Instead I’m only trained in 3/4 of a subject I hate and awful grades because I hated the subject.
I’m especially jealous of Brown (and any others like it) which let you pick a subject area and then do your own in-depth research. I read that Emma Watson did a paper that way on why we fall in love when she was there.
Resuscitating this thread to say that online college learning (adapting from a traditionally taught class) is fucking awful and I expect to pass by the skin of my teeth or just end up repeating this semester entirely. Being stuck at home with nowhere to go in a place where fucking nobody wants to wear their masks and the cases just keep going back up is way too distracting.
Being the guinea pigs is a horrible feeling.
I feel like I'm finally experiencing a burnout, or at least expecting one soon, for the first time in my life.
I'm currently in my third year and fed up with this online school bullshit, all I do is sit at my desk, watch lectures, and complete assignment after assignment. I don't even feel relieved after finishing one assignment because I know I have a bunch more to complete. It's ridiculous.
I've always been really into my major and school, and really want to go to grad school and potentially get my PhD but lately that idea sounds worse and worse. I used to love looking up grad school programs, seeing what courses and work I needed to do to get there, and think about how fun it would be to get really into my field of study. Idk how much more schooling and assignments I can take. I really just want to get out of this cycle of never ending school work and actually go out, meet people, see new places, do new things, and experience life away from my studies, desk, and computer screen.
I usually look forward to weekends because I get to do these things but now it's just time for me to catch up on my lectures, assignments, and study. And when I don't do that on the weekends I feel so shitty cause I know I'm just making more work for myself for the upcoming week, but I really can't bring myself to stay up to date on my assignments anymore.
I'm doing pretty well in my classes so far but I'm so tempted to say fuck it and just let my grades be shit and take a break.
Don't do it. We can suffer together on it. I was so fucking excited when I managed the concentration levels required to finish a fucking paper today in 3 hours, only to see two emails from my math instructor letting the class know that all of the assignment due dates and another fucking proctored test are moved up to being due the 27th.. an entire week earlier. So now I'm traveling 4 hours down, then 4 hours back for a funeral tomorrow, and scrambling back to do all of the stupid math assignments.
We'll do it. It's fine. Everything is perky.
wishing you the best. we got this.
I don't know if this is the right thread for this, but I'm using this as an accountability thread for myself as not only are finals approaching, it's supposed to be my last semester and I can't fuck this up. I'm working on a take-home final and I'm determined to finish it today; I understand all the material, and I just need to do it. I'll keep you anons posted and as to what my next goal is.
In general, I wish I did not go straight into college from high school and that I took at least 1 gap year. No one should ever feel shitty for going to college later.
I did what I said I would! Time to move onto some more homework for the time being, then I'll work on the final project for that class. I need to persevere and maintain my concentration. Nothing is more important than graduating at this point in my life.
>>47807>I need to persevere and maintain my concentration. Nothing is more important than graduating at this point in my life.
If you keep your eyes on your goals like you are now, you'll do great! Great job, anon, you're really on the homestretch now!
I have three more full-time semesters (less if I can take a class or two over the summer) and I'll FINALLY have a bachelors at 30.
Has anyone else ever thought about switching universities? I like mine, but it's a liberal arts school that reallyyy shoves it's agenda down everyone's throats. I mean, I like progressiveness as much as the next libtard, I'm "woke", but it'd be nice to just go to class without someone from the SGA talk about black people being shot by cops. The school also isn't quite as rigorous as I thought it would be. I feel like the work load at my CC was significantly more than the work load here.
Made it by the skin of my teeth. I'm so relieved. I can really just do fuckall tomorrow on my last exam and my grade will still be the same for the last class. Would really, really have to unrealistically try hard for an A so I'm settling in for a comfy B. Just thankful that I secured a passing C in my other awful class.
>finished college/university 9 years ago
i have this month (december, a bit of january like a week or so) to freshen up and actually learn calc 1 because cheating is way too fucking easy with online classes, i didn't learn shit in the spring for my 2021 calc 2 course. i feel so guilty and stupid because i actually took a gap semester so i could've been studying since like june but i chose to instead veg out. hate myself
thank you, anon! Now I'm working on a paper of mine. I'm hoping to complete the first draft by tonight. Fingers crossed.
I also want to say, one of my only friends at college turned 30 and then she got her degree. It's great you're doing this for yourself and it's something to be proud of.
I don't even go to a predominantly liberal college and in any humanities class, it will probably slant that way (my college specializes in STEM and still, all the humanities classes slant that way). In terms of difficulty, I feel like college is not that difficult, but it makes me complacent and that's where's I've struggled. That's my take on what you're saying, I'm sorry if it's not that helpful. I actually thought my classes at CCs were better, to be honest, and I think it's because professors at universities tend to be focused on other things than teaching as opposed to professors at CCs who are more likely there to teach for the sake of it. I'm sorry if this isn't that helpful or what you wanted to hear. >>47814
Congratulations, anon. That's great. I just want to be done with this semester at this point.
Well ask in the thread if you need any help
t. majored in math
I finished that paper, now I'm onto my last one after I took my last final yesterday. I need the accountability because my personal life tanked suddenly and I've prone to distraction.
I need to complete the introduction by this afternoon, that's my main goal. Then I need to do my argument portion this evening. Let's go, go, go!
Happy finals season guys!
Currently have a research paper due next week and haven't started so that's great! Other than that I just took an exam today, have one tomorrow, and another the day after that. It's been really hard to find the motivation to study to be honest, and I cannot wait for this semester to be over. Been studying for a few hours now and really close to just saying fuck it.
I'm really happy I'm nearing the end of my degree (three more semesters left after this one!) and debating whether or not I should jump right into grad school or maybe take a year off. Luckily I've got someeee time to think and my final year of uni I won't even be taking a full course load.
Good luck everyone!
Okay, so I finished being a college student with 4 As and 1 B-. It felt like it'd never end and I'm happy to move onto another chapter in my life. Thank you for all your encouragement!
Pretty sure I flunked a math course due to laziness and neglect (ironic since I didn't even have to take it) but…I feel oddly good about it.
It's really woken me up to why I've disliked mathematics since revisiting it in uni, and now I just really WANT to do it. I'm not a natural by any means, but I'd like to work hard and become proficient enough for my own interests.
My plan is to practice from the very beginning to rebuild a strong base
If math anon is still here, is it possible for a person who is average at mathematics to get pretty far on their own?
I'll retake this course for sure, but can't fit many others into my degree afterwards.
>>48569>If math anon is still here, is it possible for a person who is average at mathematics to get pretty far on their own?
I'm not 'math anon', but I did a straight mathematics course throughout university. The answer is that you'll get as far as your interest takes you. I don't think I was born proficient at maths, I don't think I'm necessarily great at maths; you study so many great figures who came before you (Euclid, Euler, Gauss, Kepler, Riemann, Cauchy, etc…) that you kinda just feel like an ant among giants. Also, I just don't feel smarter than the average person; I don't feel like I was born knowing maths, I just really enjoyed it and I spent a lot of time doing problems and working through proofs, so I'm not 'better', I just spent more time doing it.
What I want to say is that there are countless resources online, not only to teach you maths (Khan academy), but to pique your interest in the topic (3b1b, Think Twice). The latter channels provide beautiful proofs with brilliant visuals, some of which I believe should be accessible to someone with an average understanding of maths. But maybe your idea of 'average at mathematics' doesn't meet my idea; if you don't understand the basics (fractions, logarithms, rates, exponentials, surds, trig ratios, calculus, etc…) then you can definitely learn this on your own, there are lots of resources online, however they are 'dry' topics, so it may feel boring. Just try remember that you're learning foundational stuff and it gets interesting and a lot more fun after this (admittedly I enjoyed all of maths throughout hs because at the time it was all new to me).
I hope some of this was helpful.
I'm the one who offered math help a few days ago in this thread, but I don't know if you're referring to me.
Nevertheless, I agree with >>48574
in that you can get anywhere as long as your interest for it holds and you keep going at it.
There will naturally be some subjects you have more of an affinity towards : where you just understand the vast majority of it intuitively without having to work to develop that intuition.
Conversely, there will be subjects where it'll feel like you "don't really get it", and where your intuition and mental representation of things won't really be working. However, and this is very important : this is not a permanent state of affairs. If you keep working at it and trying to better understand / build a better mental model, it will eventually "click" and become as easy as any other subjects. This happened to me with number theory and graph theory, where I initially felt utterly powerless, but eventually had the eureka moment after a month or so and managed to ace the course afterwards.
To summarize all this stream of consciousness verbal diarhea : don't get discouraged. The most important part of mathematics (to me at least) is to build yourself a mental model of the logical constructs you're manipulating, and to refine that model when you get stuck. I've been able to overcome anything mathematical thrown at me this way, so I'd wager it works.
And to add to my rambling : I personally believe that there is no such thing as a persons that are good or bad at math, just persons that have different stages of understanding. If it seems like some people understand things better than you do, that's because math has increasing returns : the more of it you do, and the more of it you understand, the faster you are at understanding more of it.
My last final is today then I'm free!!! Definitely has been an interesting semester but pretty happy with how everything turned out.
Best of luck to everyone else finishing finals/studies!
Not math anon, but I would say math is one of very few subjects that you can pursue entirely on your own. Even if there weren't dozens of websites (i.e. Khan Academy) or dozens of youtube channels (3b1b, Mathologer, etc.) math can be done completely on your own as it has through the ages. You can go plenty far on your own, just try to find problems to solve.
welp uni starts on tuesday. planning to kill it, wish me luck c.c.
First lecture in 6 months, over webcam.
I think I might have a panic attack, there will be only a few students and the professor and the whole thing in foreign language I haven’t spoken out loud since high school.
What can I do to ease this horrid anxiety? Honestly thinking of skipping class and dropping the course before it even began.
I went, didn’t need to speak. The anticipation is always the worst though feels like the life was drained out of me during the lecture. Damn stress hormones!
My first day back for fall semester was today.
I feel so disconnected with everyone. I just don't care about making friends anymore because I don't see how it's even feasible. Everything is online, it's unsafe to hang out with anyone in a public place, and most people in my classes are younger than me anyway so wtf does any of this matter for.
I feel so fucking cheated. Im a junior at University and all my life ive been told this is supposed to be some transformative time, where these are the friends I'll make for life. And this fucking pandemic has ruined it all for me. I have no friends, I will be joining no clubs, and I can't just stop because I'm so close to being done and we already moved all our shit to this God forsaken city so I could go to school and fuuuuckakakdkfkkcuufkckKDJFU
uni just started today and im so goddamn anxious. i worry that i'll learn too slow for my deadlines or some shit holy fuck what if no amount of studying helps me…so scared that im too retarded for university
Nu uh anon. You can do this. I believe in you. I basically did a whole year (almost) of online and just graduated with my bachelor's. You'll get the hang of it, pace out your day, and try to stick to a schedule of sorts for your classes in terms of studying or at least for your assignments and such.
>five(5) more days until i'm dragged back to the hell known as university
Never going back to any kind of education again, that shit fucked me up.
One of the girls in my year said she finds me really funny and wants to become friends so once our exams are over we're gonna go out together and have a chat. I low-key have a crush on her, this is gonna be really awkward, girls.
it's uni, she might be down to date a girl
genuinely i can count the amount of strictly hetero girls i've met at uni on one hand
Nah, I've seen the stuff she posts on her social media and she seems strictly hetero. She's really nice and funny and I'm plain autistic so it's not exactly the best combo. But it makes me feel great that other girls treat me like a person in uni because I never had any female friends before like my last year of high school. I love uni just because of how mature everyone is, even if the curriculum kicks my ass.
I got put on academic probation today. I'm trying not to feel down about it and look at whatever positives come from this but, it's rough.
i go to a rly prestigious university that I worked my ass off to get into back when I was in school but since the pandemic began I’ve had no motivation at all and my workload just keeps piling up. i just wanna make it through the year without failing. how the fuck are people staying motivated rn
I started my first year of college last year with the help of a friend in late 2019. She guided me in the process etc. and I was feeling pretty good about getting my life back on track and doing better with myself instead of just waging my life away.
Winter semester was fine, I passed my first classes and I was really excited and looking forward to studying even though my end game was different. We did in person classes for spring for maybe a month at most before everything closed down. I specifically signed up for in person classes because I wanted to have a place I could attend and focus at since I know I wouldn't achieve that at home/online courses. I was doing fine the first couple of weeks after the online transition but after that I just fell off track big time and bombed everything.So all my failures from last year finally caught up to me when I dropped my math class last night in the hopes I could sign up for the same course for spring, since my prof. gave me a deadline I couldn't meet this week that just passed. Really there is no one to blame but myself in all of this. I think my biggest worry is my transcipts showing all these fails and having me turned away from the career path I want to pursue within these coming months. I'm just really frustrated.
My boyfriends sister went on academic probation because she, plainly put, wasn't good at keeping up with the work load.
Now, a few years later, she's on the path to finishing her graduates and taking an internship in the western US.
It's okay to fall down, as long as you learn from your mistakes.
Sorry, meant spring.
I need to get a degree but I feel so old and empty headed, or at least too old and empty headed to get a degree. Maybe if I email a uni and ask really nicely they'll just give me one.
>another semester studying for a career that I hate
I’m 19 and I’m about to get my bachelors in biology in the summer. I started off as a premed but the thought of spending so much time in school is making me anxious as hell. I love baking and I want a big family, plus I’m too autistic to have even kissed a guy. Is the tradwife meme real? It’s sounding pretty good rn.
bachelors at 19? that's so early, congrats anon. take the time to celebrate that. do you have a career in mind? the tradwife lifestyle sure looks appealing but i think it's almost unattainable imo. we can't rely on moids so you should focus on furthering your professional life for now. better rather be a rich femcel than a miserable housewife with a deadbeat baby daddy.
Thank you! Rn I’m mixed between being a PA or a doctor. Either dermatology or OBGYN. I think you’re right, though. The tradwife thing sounds really appealing, but being dependent on a moid doesn’t seem like a smart move. I should focus on developing myself, I’m still young. Thanks for helping me out! I don’t really feel like I can talk to anyone irl about this, you’re a gem!!
Normies are so sociopathic. I live in an apartment with some and most of the time they are talking shit behind random people's backs for such minor stuff. I've heard them talking about me before but I couldn't hear what they said as they lowered their voices shortly after. But all I do is come out to eat food, get water, do dishes, etc. the rest of the time I'm just studying by myself. Wtf is their problem with me. In the shared hallway of the complex there is a big whiteboard where people also write sometimes cruel things about each other. Some of the people in one of my classes almost bully one of my professors who only recently graduated because they are upset they didn't get the grade they wanted on what was in my opinion a fair quiz. They insult her teaching style and say that they don't understand anything in our class discord when she goes over everything very slowly and answers questions. Why are they like this, so easily attacking the character of others.
np! it's such a coincidence because i'm the same age, applying to med schools this year and also hoping to become either a derm, OBGYN (or pediatrician). i'm debating going into pharmacy instead because the lifestyle is less hectic and it's only 4-5 years of uni but medicine sounds more interesting. anyway i hope all works out for you! keep us updated
I know someone who lived the 'tradwife' meme for a while, it messed her up. She hated it, and is now the opposite. And I also know someone else who's currently living it, and loves it. It really depends. I'd say don't rely entirely on one person, that's never good. Dual incomes/relying on each other is best. You don't have to romanticize it.
Also, goodluck on finding your future hubby
Before depending on somebody else it's really best to learn how to be on your own. You'll figure out what you want to do eventually, don't try to rush it, your 20's is just a long time trying to figure out what you want to be/do. Start with finishing your bachelor's and then figure it out from there. Enjoy college, even if you're awkward you'll figure it out and find friends and a partner eventually.
Heck, you're finishing your degree, so fast that you'd be out of medschool much earlier than most people are. You could do a master's program if you find it interesting, maybe meet some people there. Take your time, there's no rush. I might also recommend getting some kind of additional experience under your belt in something like bioinformatics or CS to ensure marketability if you don't end up wanting to go to/liking med school.
You don't have to make those big decisions now and I know how overwhelming it can be to try to imagine the future and decide on things. You're going to be okay, but while you're still so young it's important to build yourself up first even if you end up wanting to be a housewife instead of working.
Homemaking is appealing but it can also get boring
, and you may end up wanting to do something else at some point later in your life instead.
You're going to be okay and you will figure it out, but it's so so important that you build a foundation for yourself just incase. You don't want to be trapped in a harmful situation with a moid who wants a tradwife to emotionally or physically abuse. So always have an exit strategy if you decide to go forward with the tradwife life.
>people are graduating at 19 and I've stagnated in my nursing degree for 8 fucking years and might get kicked out
please keep trying anon, you will get there eventually
Everyone does life at a different pace, you'll finish eventually, and if you don't, that's okay too! Everyone's circumstances are so different. If it's something you're determined to do then you'll get it done!!
That’s such a weird coincidence, but also an amazing one. It’s crazy that you’re doing your apps now, congratulations!! I’m doing a gap year to do extracurriculars before I apply, you’re really incredible. I’ve also considered pediatrics, but I’m way too much of a softie when it comes to kids. Pharmacy is also a good route, but yeah it’s mostly sitting at a desk, so I get why medicine is more interesting. I hope the best for you too! If you have any updates, let us know, I’m rooting for you!>>50179
Ah, that makes sense, I guess it really is a person to person kind of deal. Also, it’s true that it would be better to rely on your partner and vice versa. Also thank you, I wish the best for your love life too!>>50180
Thank you for the advice! You’re right, and I’m considering extending my education to get a minor or something since it would only add a semester to my education. That, plus it might bulk up my med school application. Also, thank you for your encouragement, it’s really given me a boost. I don’t think I can trust a moid enough to be fully dependent on him, especially since I want kids. I wouldn’t want to keep them trapped in a bad situation bc I wouldn’t have the means to support myself. >>50181
Don’t be so hard on yourself! Life is weird, we all do things at different paces, and we all have different circumstances. I regret doing things at such a fast pace, I’ve had to make a lot of choices before I’ve been ready to. Be kind to yourself, anon. I believe in you!
i don't understand snake-like behavior either. i'm very quick to shut someone down if they try it, like asking them why they don't just tell that to their face, or why they feel the need to talk about someone who isn't there to defend themselves, or etc etc
Just think, you could be doing this instead at 50 because you chickened out of actually doing what you wanted.
Spring semester is rough as always. I'm not sure why but my motivation always flags this time of year. I haven't been taking great care of myself and feel in a low mood, but compared to how poorly I've done in past spring semesters, I'm doing great, which I'm glad for. I'm also much more self-assured than I was in the past. I used to sit on the third floor of the dining hall and feel absolutely wretched, miserable about how all of the people around me were with friends while I was alone, and think about throwing myself off the balcony. Now I can sit in that same dining hall and just observe the people around me and get my work done without any of that.
I'm on track to graduate next year, and I want to graduate and am glad I've come to a point in my life that I feel capable of doing so when in the past I have despaired at the idea. I don't actually put much value on a college education itself, and I'm about ready to be done, but I think it'd be nice to be able to say I made it through, and a degree would be useful.
I will say though that I am SICK of all the leftist and social justice bullshit pushed here and I can only see it getting worse from here on out so I'm glad I only have to put up with it for another year.
>>51372>all the leftist and social justice bullshit pushed here and I can only see it getting worse from here on out
can you (or anyone else) expand on this? its one of my fears for college :/
ive made a uni friendgroup but for various reasons its now detreating, theres been a bunch of infights and it's become very toxic
they're all still my close friends but the thought of living with them next september has gone from exciting to worrisome
so anxious about uni. it feels like i'm just rushing to meet my deadlines (and often i turn in an assignment minutes before it's due, which makes me feel guilty and stupid as hell) and barely learning anything. i keep telling myself to "do what i can" and just not worry about it – turning shit in is objectively better than not turning in anything – but fuck man. can't wait for it to be over in may.
just a girlboss.jp…
A bit of a late reply, sorry. Hope you're still around to read it.
The university as an institution puts a lot of time and money towards stuff like diversity initiatives, women in [insert field here], LGBTQ+ resources, anti-racism, "latinx," programs targeting African Americans, etc. The daily emails they send out, every single day, have at least two links to social justice initiatives, and the institution has a completely unashamed leftist bias.
As far as individual professors, it really depends. I'm a liberal arts student, so a fair amount of my profs are into that stuff. I had one talk about whether a certain article would be "triggering" the other day, and a lot of the stuff I have to read for other classes is based in critical theory, which is annoying because that stuff is garbage to start with, and as soon as a prof starts assigning those sorts of articles, I lose all respect for them and the class and it becomes a major chore to do the assignments. But I also have a couple of really awesome professors who aren't into that stuff at all and can still deliver really high-quality courses despite the school's institute-level bias. Interestingly, the good professors are the ones not from America. My two favorites are both Eastern Europeans.
I say it will only get worse because with every little event that happens, they add more and more programs to "address systemic racism" or what have you. Some of it is just lip-service, I'm sure, so they can say they tried to make a change, but there are also substantial changes in what course material is promoted and which courses are offered, and those changes are invariably in favor of social justice or leftist causes. For instance, my school sent a survey out about whether it was diverse/inclusive/representative enough and how they could change course offerings to be more so.
For the most part you can choose what you actively engage in and which courses you register for and which profs you take, so it's possible to avoid the worst of it, but it's in the water so to speak, so it's hard to entirely get away from it. But it also likely depends a lot on the school. Maybe mine is on the more extreme end of things. You would be hard-pressed to find a university that denounces social justice, though.
I don’t know but I made a new friend called YouTube and it helps me tremendously with my work.
Too much work, some of my teachers hand out ridiculously difficult tutorial questions, some teachers making everyone buy/use their book for the course, group work (I have no friends), oral presentations, commuting, never any spots in the library or computer pools, people being noisy in the “quiet” end of the library.
I kind of get the feeling that all the blind raged hardcore leftism in unis is nothing but actual deeply conservative right wing ideals promoted trough mental gymnastics as "left" (horseshoe theory makes that surprisingly easy) so the upper class can keep the actual systemic racism (more like tribalism) they always had firmly in place regardless of social norms and the idiot majority actually buys that (maybe because it also benefits them).
I have never seen such a brutally dense bourgeois and "privileged" white suburb community anywhere else outside my university. No where else. I'm living in a country that isn't overly separating when it comes to social status or skin color and initially we don't even have that "race" thing going on outside of absolute poverty or absolute wealth and in those circles its less about race but more about heritage in general (you may be from the same race but the wrong tribe/family/clan so you are shit anyway).
But on the campus, for gods sake. I'm already chalksnow the pale ghost of bleachbath levels of white but I could feel the last remnants of melanin getting squeezed out of my body by the accumulated whiteness in that room (minus the one literal brown hijab token girl in a wheelchair and a few others, I shit you not) on my first lecture. And exactly those people who are pretty obviously not so fond of that magical divers community preach about it the most. I mean its really hard to gather such a homogeneous crowd in such a big city here, you have to put work into that but there they are. Most funny thing is I wouldn't even have noticed that trough my original socialization because as I said, no one really gave a fuck, it just struck me because the first words in the first lecture were already a litany of how bad da wipipu are, preached by a white guy to a room full of white people with a handful of more and more uneasy looking brown tokens dying in obvious external shame and wondering what crazy shit they got into. I'm loosely acquainted with one of the few Africans here and she told me that what made her most uneasy is that she came here because in her country of origin people have a giant boner for skin color and that makes things different from time to time and now they start the same shit here. Putting such an emphasize on complexion that literally everywhere she goes her obvious heritage is what she has to talk about regardless of topic. She opens her mouth and its skin color from there on. White students are increasingly uneasy around her, out of fear to say the wrong thing or because whatever dumb shit goes trough her head.
After all the result is that, once again, she gets treated like a leper for her skin color and she doesn't care about the reasons, she cares about that it happens. I myself was accused of being racist because I hung out with her a lot. Imagine that. Talking to people outside of your race profile is bad now… I can't even partly wrap my mind around the bullshit theory that leads to such an assumption. We even have separated classes now. Critical whiteness lectures for whites only and for "poc" only at different dates in different parts of the building. Just outright unmasked apartheid. You can't tell me the people managing the campus business don't realize what happens.
TLDR: We have a lot of racism here and it mostly exists inside the university bubble and is ironically rooted in the people "fighting" against it.
This really fucks me up and is one of the reasons I'm glad that pools are closed due to the cough. I don't like to be there and prefer to be in my usual environment with people who aren't batshit insane.
i have a genuine interest in medicine but fuck if i'm actually going to be able to whole-heartedly study it in the future lol. i was a depressed retard in hs and never studied and didn't care about my grades and never applied to any good colleges because of it, so i've been working through this pharm tech program for the past few months but i'm legitimately scared it's not going to get my anywhere. i'm almost 6 weeks away from being done and i just have a pit in my stomach that i've wasted all this time and money for books and getting my license and taking the tests and going on an externship only to bum around for months or years because i can't get hired anywhere. it's ultimately my end game to move the fuck out and into institutional pharmacy for better pay and to get my foot in the door for real education about medicine, but given my track record with school i feel like that's just a pipe dream. sigh.
I'm a recent grad in Microbiology and had similar fears to you. I was a really shitty student in both high school and college, like 2.7 GPA shitty. Despite that I got into a healthcare career that pays well enough and encompasses my interests because I had work experience on campus that was somewhat related and they asked for a degree instead of my transcripts. Now I'm doing fairly well at my job. I know it's a college student thread, but just wanted to post so folks like you know to not give up. All that matters is having that degree and taking on work and volunteer opportunities in the life sciences departments of your school. I'm not even sure if the latter is required but it definitely helps.