Vent thread
Previous one: >>>/feels/83058
How do i cope with being fr*nch?
Our country is ugly, everything sucks, the world hates our guts for being ugly arrogant colonialists assholes there is crime and terrorism all the time.
How do i cope?
Limerence
Anyone else here struggle with being extremely limerant/obsessed with certain people? I’d like to hear your stories. Rather not tell mine though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
Exposing Your Abuser
Has anyone had experience exposing an abuser? Abusers shouldn't be able to get away scot-free and potentially harm more people.
Parasocial to friends to parasocial
My brain is in a constant loop. I met this artist I was a fan of (I won’t reveal her name, she’s not a big celebrity or anything) back in 2020 after knowing her parasocially for a long time and casually looking at her stuff. I knew somewhere in my gut that maybe we might meet someday, and I can’t explain it. Then, we started to interact on discord and stuff (I got in through a link on a stream) and we became friends, maybe not as good as her other friends but friends. Then, the chat started dying around mid fall and I started talking a bunch of shit there to keep it alive so I could keep talking to her (she did not like dms). It wasn’t justified, but it was 2020 so I’m pretty sure a lot of people can relate to not being in the best mood. They seemed like the type of people to like gossip, but this backfired. Understandably, was a major turn off to her and her friends. They tried communicating to me that they didn’t want me there anymore, but my tone deaf ass just couldn’t take the hint. Eventually, they were explicit about their feelings, told me they had another server that wasn’t dead, and kicked me on February 11th, 2021, and drew some terrible pictures of me 4 days later on my birthday.
I was heartbroken. It became a weird relationship. I still viewed her content, but as a parasocial outsider that couldn’t interact, a vow that we made together. I talked about her to my therapist whenever I could. Around fall 2021, I began to become less obsessed, but still sort of obsessed. I eventually did make new friends, never talked about her, and become a better person, but it didn’t help. Internally, I still thought about her to a weird degree. Every two weeks or so, I check up on her. Even though her content is behind a paywall, I still try to make out what her art looks like through blurriness. Half of the notes on my phone are still about her friend group, and it’s usually jokes I use to cope. We haven’t talked at all besides me wishing her happy birthday and one other thing where she basically told me the same thing: saying respectfully that we’re not friends for now and not to talk to her, but that was 10 months ago. It’s been a year and a half since when I was kicked, and I still catch myself thinking about her way too much sometimes, I’m not even a big fan of her anymore, even though I know I don’t have to prove myself to anyone I think I just hate that she met me when I was some bitch. I try to distract myself with other things, but those often make me procrastinate.
Tl;dr: I went from parasocial fan, to good friends, to not so good friends, and back to parasocial probably indefinitely. Hell of a ride.
tasty alcohol?
ive been feeling kind of down lately and im so tired of feeling this way
what is something i can just take shots of whenever it gets too much for me?
tbh i want something sweet maybe even fruity, something that tastes more like juice but still gets the job done
detransing has ruined my friendships
I recently (with the help of this site <3) was able to snap out of my delusion that I was a trans "guy" and holy fuck it has made my life so much bleaker. While I am much more relieved that I don't feel like I have to run from my own body anymore, I'm freshly graduated from HS and literally 90% of my friends are still balls deep in gender ideology and I no longer feel like I can relate to them. I've become an outsider, and it really hurts because I love my friends but I wish they would just snap out of it. Being transgender made me hate every facet of my being in ways I had never thought possible and I spent so much effort trying to deepen my fantasy world, not realizing that I was actually causing my own "dysphoria". I see the same thing happening to most of them but if I say anything I risk being labelled a terf (and some of these people are so pathetic they would NOT hesitate to post all about my terf ass on all their socials). I have actively avoided hanging out with these people because of this and also because of the fact that they all still continue using the wrong pronouns (how ironic) for me & have made it very clear that they still perceive me as "one of them".
Oh well who fucking cares. I leave for college in a week and while I'm thrilled I have the opportunity to handpick my new group of friends, I also know that liberal arts schools are overrun with these kinds of people. fingers crossed I guess, I'm just sick of being lonely.
It’s finally happening; we’re meeting IRL!!
there’s this guy I e-“dated” but then we broke up and remained online friends since. Before him I e-“dated” another guy but he never wanted to meet. I was afraid it was gonna be the same with him. I asked once and he seemed to kinda dance around the question so hadn’t asked again but was considering cutting contact. Turns out his hair was a mess at the time and now wants to meet. It’s only been two or so months since I asked so I believe it. He told me to tell him ahead of time so he could take time off work. He works hard and his job is important so I feel very flattered and special. I don’t wanna screw this up and want it to be an amazing time for both of us. It’s the first time either of us does this too so. Idk I’m just very excited. Is there anything I should keep in mind? Tips? Etc. I know both of us could be disappointed so to not have any expectations. What else? He knows I’m very prudey so I feel like I could get away with fucking him on the first day. And I have a feeling I’ll want to because I’m very into him. Or maybe I’ll dry up from being nervous, who knows. Anything I should do for vetting? Anything to keep it from getting awkward? Should we embrace it?
How do you process disgust ?
I have to ask because idk. There is no way to exist in the world and not be disgusted at it. No matter how I try to trust people I'm always shown why I should not have. I think there are a few genuine people here and there, and they're gold, especially in women's communities, but they're disturbingly rare.
Maybe this is speaking of personal experience too much, but I think most people keep backwards beliefs a lot more than they let on, which is why they're toxic, controlling, trying to get into your head, subjugate you, set you back. I experienced this a lot without realizing it as a child. Mostly because people are ignorant and totally braindead apes.
Well i cant forgive the perpetrators and I never will. You only realize how destructive people are after they poison everything completely. And you were trying to do everything as perfectly as you could but none of it mattered, everything was a joke, most especially them. When you get older IT IS SHOCKING because you had so much faith things were under control, and people were smart enough not to throw everything under the bus. But uou were completely wrong! You grow up and you realize nothings under control and people are just indifferent and seedy as fuck
I really want to live in solitude. I honestly want no interaction with humans at all. I just want to grow things, and make art and get the hell away
So how do you deal with this internal war disgust towards people? Cultivate something healthy
Is it impossible for me now
Anyone awake rn?
it's really late at night where i live, my sleep schedule is all fucked up and i keep pulling all nighters. It's not that bad being awake at this time so i don't care much.
Bf hate thread
Post reasons or stories why you hate your SO. I’ll go first
>ask bf to help me take out trash because he hasn’t done it in a few days and now the can is too heavy for me and I have to take out another bag because he’s let it pile up
>”I knew you were gonna nag me about that”
>I want to bash his head in. I didn’t nag him I asked for help and if you knew I was gonna say something. WHY WOULDNT YOU TAKE IT OUT YOU FILTHY PIG.
Anyways your turn <3
any ugly autistic girls know how to cope?
Ever since i started posting myself online my female friends have stopped talking to me. They are all very pretty. So pretty it’s scary to talk to them. This isn’t new because I have had plenty of friends drop me for being awkward or ugly but I don’t know how to cope anymore nonas. It still hurts when i put effort in my appearance but it makes my life slightly better. Currently it is hard to do that because of depression telling me no matter how much i try it will never work. If you have been through the same thing, how do you cope?
How to cope with ppl always leaving from my life
Nothing seems to numb the sadness i feel right now
How to find loving bf?
How do woman manage to find loving boyfriends that are nice to them? I'll be turning 26 soon and I have never had a romantic relationship of any kind.
I told myself that I would finally push myself to get a date and I finally managed to get one through a friend setting me up. But the guy was mean to me the entire time. He wouldn't let me order the food I wanted (because he said he wanted it). I don't understand what the logic was because we could have both ordered one? I ended up getting something I didn't like and couldn't finish. Then he kept asking what my food allergies were so he could order those when we go out so that I won't "take his food." I'm 99 pounds and can barely finish my own food, let alone take someone else's. I was prepared to ask the waiter to split checks but before I could, he went inside and paid for the entire meal but then demanded I paypal him my share ($10). He was in his 30s.
TLDR; it's hard dating as an ugly and shy woman.
how to deal with first crush?
i know this might sound ridiculous but i really like this girl and i don’t know how to deal with it,since i think she’s straight. we compliment each other all the time and are acquaintances but i don’t know what to do. i’ve only been with men my whole life and this is the first time i want to pursue a girl.
i’ve asked my friend who knows her to ask what her sexuality is and i’m so scared. im gonna feel so dumb if she just likes guys..
Am I doing something wrong, for guys to only want to sext me or have sex with me? I stopped wearing provocative clothing all together. I dress like an 80 year old most days. If I dress my age, I show very little skin. Is this just how guys are or is it my fault? I just want someone to like me and hold my hand.
How do you deal with being a bad person
Hi I am a shit person. And I’m not saying that for pity or to be told otherwise, it is fact. I’ve destroyed my life and my relationships with family, friends etc and have no one, no money and nothing. Now I could give up and kill myself but I’m not the type. I’m not exceptionally smart, beautiful or anything to offset what a cunt I am so I guess my question to you guys is how do I deal with this. Are any of you also amoral fuckups and if so how do you move on after you’ve crashed and burned shit beyond recognition. Also how do I deal with the fact that I am awful and no one will ever love me + I’m poor + (soon to be) homeless + have no friends or family pic unrelated I just like secretary
Who is your "omg literally me" character
I'm 5'11.5. My mother complements me on my height, but I hate being this tall. Clothes don't fit me properly. I am lanky and awkward, especially in small places like getting into cars. My back hurts. But most of all, it's such a huge challenge getting a moid to like me.
I don't get asked out like other girls. Moids of an acceptable height are incredibly rare. Those that are all want to date petite or average sized Staceys. They don't want to date a lanky beanstalk. I feel like I'm always last in line to be chosen. Once I overheard a moid I was kind of crushing on that he would ask me out if X rejected him. Like he was so certain I would say yes because I'm desperate (I am). I would've said yes because I have no choices, but I hate that I would.
Any other lanklets have the same experience?
Anyone else feels like there are no CC women in your whole country?
I really wish I could have an at least semi-irl friendship with a like minded girl, but I live in a place with a disproportionate amount of normies.
anyone else wish they could go back in time and un-lose their virginity? it wasn't even that bad of an experience, but the idea of a man I dont even talk to anymore thinking he "took" something from me makes me sad and angry. plus it wasn't even enjoyable like I thought it would be. Idk I could have spent that time listening to music or reading a book.
Idfk
I’ve been talking to this guy that always texts first but never asks me stuff about myself, it seems like we are only talking about him and it makes me kinda confused..what should i think about this? Also he has told me that he doesnt know how to start convos but he literally hasnt even said a “wyd” or anything simillar
porn, sexuality and fantasies
Hi
After seeing multiple threads about girls watching porn from a young age and worrying about it, I've decided to share my experience and thoughts about this.
First, experience.
I watched porn for the first time when I was around 11yo. I already had access to internet and used it to watch shows and animes and chat online. Some guy sent me a link and it was CP hentai. After that I watched other videos, not really understanding what was going on but also knowing because I already knew what sex was. Later on, with "normal" porn I started to masturbate. With the years I've discovered more and more violent pornography. My poor brain got tricked by the process like it does to most people and I've started having violent fantasies and of course, since I watched mainly porn that featured violence against women, that's also the kind of violence I started to fantasize about.
These years I've stopped but I do have phases where I start watching it again.
Now, I have to specify something: you're not the same when you're horny. Those fantasies never made me wish for a world where I'd actually be some kind of sex slave. And bit of a spoiler, I actually didn't like any of this IRL. I never enjoyed being groped by men, I never enjoyed the degrading insults, and I don't even enjoy slapping or spanking. That's why its stupid to guilt women for rape fantasies. IRL women don't like and the body reacts to protect itself. If rape was actually enjoyable for women they wouldn't get fucking traumatized from this. Anyway, back to what I was saying.
I felt very bad about this, and like a traitor, and I couldn't bear it anymore and seeing these women get treated like cattle eventually disgusted me even though horniness sometimes won. Which is weird because I honestly have a low sex drive but it may be related after all.
Now, on my sex life: I've been assaulted one or two times, not rape though, just sexual harassment. Didn't enjoy it. I only recently had sexual, consensual experience. Mostly normal but sometimes my partner would try to have it "dom/sub" style and I didn't like it. No matter how much I got off watching women be degraded and beaten up, I don't enjoy a little slap. I only like this stuff in fantasy when I'm dead horny. IRL, horny or not, I don't. I like it soft and nice and gentle and romantic. Fantasies are NOT reality.
Also, know that a lot of women who got in this kind of sex thinking its a good idea to trust men who have these fantasies eventually got raped for real. CNC is not just a kink, its dangerous. Even choking is dangerous (women getting killed by their partner and we cant even tell if it was legit murder or kink accident because the guy gets away with it by saying they were having sex)
My low sex drive doesn't help ofc because I usually dislike sex. I think its gross and disgusting.
Even though I'm happy I didn't actually enjoy the kind of sex I watched in pornography, I honestly think it participated in killing my sex drive, even though I do believe its part of my nature for other reasons non related to pornography.
Also, when i'm not horny, these images don't actually please me and I find it gross and dehumanizing. I don't enjoy watching it and it doesn't make me horny. Its basically only an urge to watch these videos, like an addiction. I never felt the urge to get actually beaten up during sex. Only the videos.
Porn gets you addicted to porn and it may kill your sex drive. But if you feel guilty about the fantasies it made you have, know that it won't actually define your sexuality and what you really enjoy. What I enjoy in sex, despite my low sex drive that makes it sometimes hard for me to have and enjoy, is the opposite of what I watched in porn. Once you know this it will make you feel less guilty. Best advice of course is to stop porn, so, every time you feel the urge to watch it, take a shower if you can and/or go out and/or do anything else or try to use your brain only. I think imagination to replace porn is a great transition to cut that shit off, thats what I do personally.
Anyway, I hope girls who struggle with porn and sexuality will get out of this one day.
Advice and Support General Thread!
Come here, wayward souls, for any matter big and small. Insight to comfort can be found here for your issues or conundrums.
Anyone ever make you wanna go full on housewife?
I very much dislike the idea of being a housewife unless it’s for this specific girl I like. The idea makes me feeling tingly and lovey inside. But otherwise it disgusts me. I’d imagine most of this board (especially straight girls) hate that idea no matter who it is, but does anyone else relate to what I’m saying?
And (to make it more interesting) is anyone the complete opposite, as in you’d WANT a househusband/wife?
periods leaking in public thread
PLEASE. PLEASE. I was just at this restaurant and I think I might've leaked on the seat (im on my period) I came home, sat & peed to realise my blood leaked through my denim shorts. please can people share their experiences too so I can feel better
Relationship General #2
Old thread reached bump limit: >>>/feels/68927
>advice
>?s about romance, love, potential partners, etc.
>experiences and wishes
>venting
(Teen) pregnancy
I'm 19 years old and my BF is 20. I'm a NEET and he's in college (considering dropping out, however.) We haven't been dating long, and we always use a condom, but I still got pregnant. I told my parents and they were okay with it and asked me what I wanted to do. I said I wanted to get an abortion (which is legal here), but I'm not so sure now.
I talked about it with him, and he assumed I'd get an abortion, but I said I wasn't sure, and he seemed calm, and told me we could go to the doctor together and see our options. I don't want to get an abortion, but I'm not ready to have a child. We both live with our parents and use their income to support our expenses. Neither of us ever had a job. We both have severe mental health issues, a suicide attempt, and psych ward inpatient history.
Does anyone have any advice on how to make up my mind? I know the logical thing would be to get an abortion since we have both recently attempted suicide and self-harmed, but it isn't as easy as some would make it sound. It's very scary to me, even more so than pregnancy. He has BPD. I have Asperger's.
This isn't bait. And please, avoid rudeness. I feel bad enough. Picrel from Google.
baby fever
i have really bad baby fever and i know its silly but its really starting to get to me. im 21 years old, work part time because im a student and have never had a long term partner. so many people i know are having babies and it fills me with envy.
Porn disease
I think my (female) cousin absolutely fucked my brain up by showing me porn at an early age.
I literally started "masturbating" before i even knew what sex was. It started when I was around 4 when I discovered it felt good when i rubbed a certain way. I'm not sure if i found out about porn before or after my cousin came to my country, but she started making me watch porn with her when I was 9? She was only a year older than me and i looked up to her so I played innocent and let her explain all about sex to me.
Once she told me "You know you'll have to do this one day too." and i really feel like that sort of stuck with me. After my cousin left I started pursuing more hardcore porn. I believed that every man wants to have sex with me or rape me now. I even had these thoughts about my own family members. And it won't stop. I dont want to blame solely her but I feel like what happened genuinely altered my way of thinking.
Porn is poison that is too normalized tbh. Sorry for the blogpost nonas, it's been fucking me up these days and i don't know who else to tell.
confessions thread 2
>>51270 previous bread
I never brush my teeth for the full 2 minutes
I keep seeing “hot goth girls”and your just run of mill normal ass girls sharing pictures of Allison Harvard/creepy Chan. Honestly I fucking hate it. I’m so sick of normal girls pretending to be all fucked up, like they have mental disorders and stuff. Just admit your normal and get on with your life. Marry a chad and end up in the suburbs. Goth girls need to stop acting like their not attractive and desirable. It’s not middle school anymore you’re literally one of the most sought after kind of girls. Just leave obscurity to the weird girls who are actually the mutants and weirdos of society. Stop trying to act like a fucked up person so it seems like you have substance. Being depressed, having eating disorders and anxiety isn’t cute or trendy. It’s some serious shit. Ugh I just can’t stand it I’ve loved creepy Chan and wanted to look like her since I was like 12.
Should I trust other people? Is it worth the pain?
cheating business nona
Is this anon still around? How are things going?
Been back-reading the vent threads for funsies and it's kind of incredible how similar you are to me – major and laziness and all.
Open question, by the way: how are my university cheaters doing?
I wish I wasn't so sensitive. I don't know how to stop anons. I also wish I could cut the part of me that desires friends off because I know the people who I wish would be my friends are so rare that I'll probably never meet them anyway.
I want to be a cool girl who rarely gets her feelings hurt and is completely cool with being a loner. Instead I'm a coward who pretends she's tough and pushes people away out of fear but then whines about being lonely. I'm an idiot. And I don't know how to not be.
I'm starting a new thread because I want attention I'll admit. Clearly, I'm not mentally well right now.
I don't know if I'm just extremely sensitive or if this is normal 19 year old behavior. I thought I'd have grown out of it by now. Sometimes I think "ah when I'm around 30 I'm sure I'll be better at this" but maybe this is just a deep-rooted character flaw I need to fix. Problem is, I don't know how to. If you read this pathetic rant I both thank you and feel sorry for you but hey it's the board for venting anyway. I want to become a better person, please.
Why the fuck do i have to be straight?
I resent my heterosexuality so fucking much. The fact that I am sexually attracted to the most debauched and barbaric creatures on earth is enough to make me suicidal. I wish I was asexual or lesbian. I just fucking hate men with a passion and the fact that i can’t have a satisfying sex life without one is so depressing. How do you balance your burning hatred for men with your sexual attraction to them? Is there a way around this? Are we just doomed? Do y’all suppress your sexual urges or embrace them? Nature is so cruel
Hikki/NEET Diaries
I wanted to make a thread to blogpost about being a Hikikiomori or a NEET, mainly to be able to talk about how you're progressing and to help with accountability.
I've tried journalling for a long time but I always fall off because it feels pointless to write long pages to myself that no one will ever read.
Post ITT: How your day has been, woes of being a neet/hikki, things you've achieved lately, your fears, and goals.
a guy is going to send my nudes to my family
Um yeah I just want advice on this. i posted a video of myself pissing into a discord server and a guy who is obsessed over me is going to send it to my family if i don’t continue to be friends with him. should i just rip the bandaid and tell him to do it already and then drink though the pain of my family havjng to watch my piss videos? it’s inevitable it will happen unless i move to germany and start a homestead with this rando which also doesnt seem like a good option. yeah idk? has this happend to anyone else and did you recover?
Male voice thread
Am I the only one who thinks that male voices, especially of gruff, macho, "biker" sounding - sound very ugly? I don't even know why do I perceive their voices in such way, even though I'm theoretically hetero, but still questioning, mainly because of this.
TL;DR - I tend to hate the bass or baritone voices (unless they are clear sounding).
Where did I have those thoughts from. I'm a rock/metal fan, but I had a very weird affiliation with singers like Geddy Lee (I know many of you think he's annoying, cuz he sounds like a woman, but I like his voice), Jon Anderson, Freddie Mercury, and even Ronnie James Dio (who could sound very tender and pleasant).
What kind of a problem do I have? Some other sexual orientation or what? Answer me.
Does anyone else get annoyed that society constantly perpetuates the myth that women hate other women and are meaner to each other but men are always happy-go-lucky bros. Studies consistently show the opposite. Men are significantly more likely to physically, verbally, and emotionally abuse each other than women, from childhood to adulthood. In addition, studies also show that women are significantly stronger preference/in-group bias for women while men have no such thing for each other. I'm tired of scrotes parroting the same braindead comments "women hate each other" or "men get along, women are vicious." It almost like the scrote mind is a cesspit of projection and stupidity.
stalker
so my stalker likes to brag about his history of making girls so paranoid that they snap and kill themselves, it's not even about wanting a relationship anymore he just wants me to suffer so badly that he's the only one who can stop it. but i know better he PROBABLY won't actually do anything to me irl and i warned my family about it and we have guns and security cameras. he makes multiple posts about me every day for the past 6 months, he knows my full name and what i look like, and my previous address, my city, as well as whatever info is publicly available online about me. i made it clear i dont want anything to do with him and havent said a word to him for 6 months. i made all my accounts private and reported his posts to the fbi, what more can I do? im scared to go outside or even go near my windows, and im extremely cautious who I talk to online. it's making me really paranoid about every little thing and I don't really know how to cope. help
Anyone else wishes social media never existed? I hate it, I hate how everything has to be marketable, I hate how everything is so perfomartive, I hate how some jobs require you to have social media accounts, I hate how artificial everything is. I'm an older zoomer and didn't really get to live in a time before social media but things weren't as bad when I was around 10-12. I feel like a grandpa reminiscing of the good old days whenever I watch/read something pre-2010. Things were manufactured since way before then but it didn't seem to be as bad as things are now. At least fashion trends didn't change on a monthly basis. Idk. I've been listening to old Silent Hill soundtracks and they made me miss a time I barely even remember as someone born in the 2000s. How am I nostalgic for my childhood already when I'm still in my 20s? I'd give anything to live in a world without sm. I wish I was gen x or something. Maybe it's the mental illness talking, old things make so melancholic.
Why are you so afraid of asking that cute guy (that you have your eyes on) out?
You tell it in this thread
Why am I so annoyed my room mates girlfriend comes over all the time?
I am not feeling social at all when I come home. I socialize all day at work. When i come home im completely off. We hardly ever talk because I work night shift, he works days. Sometimes he freaking leaves her at the house for days while he's at work. When she stays every week it's like 2-3 days never one. I hate having my privacy invaded by this stranger idk. I don't even want to leave my room I just feel bombarded and tired of dealing with people. I don't know what to do because it feels unreasonable maybe?? Everything is usually really chill the rest of the time he's a mostly quiet clean room mate, but I hate this living arrangement. It's starting to irritate me more and more.
I always get my bf gifts. Sometimes it’s little things like writing a letter or buying him something cute or getting coffee for him. gifts are my love language. He knows I like gifts but he’s never gotten me anything. I don’t want him to think i’m materialistic but i’ve been dropping hints and of course he can’t pick up on them. I just want to know that he’s thinking of me. How could i broach the subject without sounding like a total brat?
How do I stop mumbling like a fucking idiot every time I talk?
should I take singing classes?
My boyfriend doesnt find me funny
In every sort of girl group I've been in the past, I've always been the funny one. I was never the prettiest or the smartest so i used to be pretty proud of my sense of humor. This was until i met my current boyfriend who's only sense of humor is gay or offensive jokes. Im usually pretty witty and he doesn't even crack a smile and i feel like i have to push myself to be someone Im not to make him laugh. Its super annoying cause he does tell me im not funny, even if its in a joking manner I dont like it because i know he means it.
He's not the most entertaining guy himself and its so annoying that he thinks his humor is somehow superior when it's extremely childish. His friends and him are always making these super obnoxious and super over used gay jokes i may have found funny the first time not the 10000000 time. Their whole shtick is to pretend to be homoerotic with each other all that dumb shit. All i can think is that if they joke about it so much one of them must actually be gay.
Anyway i do love my boyfriend despite all this so leaving him isnt an option. Most guys my age have this stupid sense of humor now anyways. I just need advice on how to not be upset when i cant make him laugh cause every other aspect of our relationship is fine.
Seasonal Depression/Change in mood
Whenever winter starts to come around I get and feel absolutely exhausted no matter how much sleep I get. Even if I do nothing but relax all day, I feel constantly exhausted. I think that because it gets dark much earlier in winter, my brain thinks what's the point or something.
Anyone else deal with anything like this?
How do you deal with it?
Vent Thread
New vent thread. Last thread: >>>/feels/79488
Crush rejection posting
>have crush
>crush text me song lyrics from a song I posted on my story
>I reply with the next lyrics (that’s my favorite song anon)
>”me too”
>I respond with “cute”
>he then responds ”wanna have sex”
>”wait what”
>he then informs “just ducking with you”
>in shock all I can do is say uh huh and call him a pussy
so that’s my night. What’s crush rejection story
What is this feeling? Help?
Short version: I made a friend who I'm bonding with a really bad time in my life and for some reason I've very suddenly developed a weird repulsion to them.
Long version: I'm having problems with my nigel the last 3 weeks and it's thrown me for a loop. He recently asked for a short break so he can straighten his life out. I've been really anxious and having problems processing this because I love him and it kills me that our otherwise perfect relationship might be doomed when nothing between us has ever really gone wrong. The world feels weird in his absence. During this time, I've been becoming friendly with someone that I plan to meet soon. They're very zany and we get along very well. I'm spiralling emotionally and despite being enthusiastic about this friend, the break has just completely fucked my brain and for some reason I just have 0 desire to speak to this person at all despite happily speaking all day every day for a while
Is there actually anything wrong with femcels?
besides being prone to absolute catastrophization, they seem to mostly be women who just really know their boundaries yet can't have them met.
incel rhetoric seems to be: I'm entitled to sex but I'm not getting it! I'm gonna shoot someone!
femcel rhetoric seems to be: I get offers of sex but I'm entitled to having my sexual boundaries respected! It's not happening! I'm gonna cry alone in my room and call men moids!
Why is it so bad to normies? Am I missing something? Are people just really angry that women set boundaries?
How can I talk to ppl
I dont know why but I was always a closeted person, very shy and didn't know how to start conversations. This didn't bother me but as result i've missed so many opportunities with relationships and friends..
People always said that I'm very quiet and it's starting to get into me,also the feeling of loneliness has been lingering for way too much..
I would really appreciate some advice
I need to get glasses or something. I got a new car and I’ve almost gotten in two different accidents/incidents. Today I was in the process of backing up and I had checked the review camera thingy and my mirrors on the side. I was for sure good. Then someone walked behind my car and I had to slam on my breaks. He was like laughing too but whatever. Then I start backing up again and his girlfriend comes out of legit nowhere. Throws her arms at me and walks in front of my car. I apologized but honestly I think they saw me backing up and just said fuck it. I have never been in an accident or anything but all of a sudden I got this new car and I’ve had two close calls. Either way I’m pretty over driving at this point.
Lowering your standards
Has anyone here actually tried being with a man that's below what you find attractive? I dont just mean straight up ugly, anything average and below counts. If so, was it actually fulfilling in any way? Just the experience of being in a relationship even if you weren't attracted to him?
POCD
I've been struggling with ocd ever since i was about 10 years old. I was never officially diagnosed because i never told anyone about it and i thought it would go away on its own. I now have intrusive thoughts all the time and i constantly do compulsions to prevent things from happening. Some of my obsesions had to do with becoming deformed (obsession with appearance), something happening to my family, my boyfriend cheating on me and more. Now i developed a way more disgusting one in which i sometimes have intrusive thoughts about kids. This deeply repulses me and makes me feel like a horrible person. Im not attracted to children by any means but there is this thought in my head that makes me feel extremely guilty. It makes me feel as if i should die for having intrusive thoughts. To further state that im not a pedophile i masturbate to regular porn and find lolis disgusting. Im also attracted to older men so i dont know why this is plaguing my brain. It has made my life carry this bleak color and i need help. Please if any of you have gone through this problem please tell me what you did.
tfw no bf
Still no bf edition.
previous threads:
>>71974
>>18677
>>14789
>>10193
>>8844
>>5669
How do I cure myself from broken bird syndrome. I keep falling in love for moids who are fucking dumpster fires and it's wracking my life.
Is anyone else's here only source of socialization social media and imageboards as well? I don't even use stuff like discord anymore because my severe social anxiety made it impossible and irl i'm a recluse.
Femcel Success Stories
Do you know any femcels or femcel-adjacent women who "made it?"
dealing with men being creeps
how do I avoid men from cat calling me and taking random pictures of me? i cant avoid it unless I dress like jesse pinkman n I hate that shit
I hate living in Poland
I have a problem. I hate being a Polish woman, because I know I get treated like a second-class citizen there. I can't accept the fact I was born, raised and I live in Poland. Abortion law has changed since the pandemic into worse. No woman can terminate a pregnancy if a fetus has defects. This is why I'm scared. What can I do? Please, no responses from chauvinist moids.
I just moved out of my parents house to go to college, and I'm now living with other girls in a rented house. I'm so lonely. I miss my parents and my home. I'm scared.
i hate being moody
why the fuck are women programmed to have pms and shit this sucks. why can't I live my life on default settings without suffering so much. why do we have to take stupid birth control pills just so we don't go insane. id rip out my vag if i could well maybe not i might want to have a couple kids first but yeah let's make a lifetime of suffering just so I can accomplish that
Obsessing over guys you have never even talked to
Does anyone else experience this thing where you see some random guy at work or school, and become obsessed with him to the point of knowing everything about him despite having never interacted with him. Right now there is this guy at my work who I have never interacted with (I don't even know what his voice sounds like), but I know his full name, his address, his birthday, where he went to high school, the fact that he likes to read fantasy books (I have covertly looked through the window of his car when on my break multiple times and have seen several on the seats). This has happened 4 times at this point. I purposely avoid him though because I know it's weird af, don't really know what I should do about it.
I don't have big boobs and I want to kms.
No matter how much I work out and improve my body I just hate myself. I believe my bf will never like me as much as the e-girls that pop up on TikTok and Insta with their giant boobs dancing around and it makes me just wanna die. I know I take care of my body, work out and try to eat well but it's never enough. It's gotten so bad that I just snap at him and accuse him of wanting other girls and I know that's really unhealthy and unrealistic because we have really good chemistry and aren't struggling in the bedroom. I just can't help but wonder if he would just like me better if I looked like them and I hate that I was born this way. When I see other girls complain about having big boobs it honestly just makes me seethe and I get so angry that they can be so ungrateful for having something that most girls want.
Is there a way to get over this without getting boob job? I want to learn acceptance but I'm just seething all the time
Losing good friends
This seems really stupid and maybe it is. But for the past year and a half i've been in a bit of a depressive state, over losing a really good friend. Since it was through discord, my account had gotten disabled for some very vague reason. basically all im looking for is advice to move on from this friend, thank you
Do you think being born ruined your mothers life
I know motherhood is an extremely difficult thing in general but I spoke with her recently and she said somethings that made me question if she would be far better off if I hadn't been born.
a bit of background info her marriage with my father was ok I like to think my father is a nice man he's always protected me and loved my mother not remarrying even 16 years later but after I was born the stress it placed on my family tore them apart she hated having to spend all her time taking care of me and after 2 years she had enough told my father she wanted a divorce and left us she felt awful about this don't get me wrong I know she loves me and cares about me she even paid for me to come visit her but she sacrificed so much to have me she left behind friends her job her dreams of being a musician some of my aunts completely cut her off after she left me with my father and I can't stop feeling so guilty about this.
I'm curious if anyone else has had similar thoughts or feelings though advice or anything else relating to ruining your parents life is welcome
p.s I know its a long stretch I don't know how many parents use CC I cant imagine many but any perspective from the parent side would be appreciated as well
What is the best way to just eliminate certain obsessions?
I find certain things I waste a ton of time reading about and arguing about on the internet to be just that, a waste of a ton of time.
What's the best way to just not do this anymore? I feel like there's days where I waste more time on this than on vidya. Some of these obsessions are me obsessing over politics (not gonna get into the specifics of that one because jannies say no-no and I support that rule) but at this point becoming apolitical sounds a lot better for the brain than being angry about people who don't know I exist as well as arguing about whether those people are good or bad with other losers.
The other types of obsessions are a lot more escapist and just me dwelling on what cool stuff I would buy if only I had more money. I sit on niche auction sites like StockX and Bring a Trailer and looking at how expensive stuff I used to think was cool has gotten.
I wish I could just not care and focus on the things in my life I have more control over.
IDK, Any of you got any obsessions you wish you didn't?
How to handle my disdain/ distrust of men?
If this seems ridiculous sorry, but I don't know how to sort it in my head because I don't know how to get rid of it.
I want to just assume the best about everyone, but I have a lot of negative experiences, including being stalked to hell and back. I am extremely disillusioned. And I don't know why but I keep my happy facade and present it everywhere. Okay some days im really pissed off and im more brutally indifferent, especialy at work but i never get mad unless there's a good reason. Still it makes NO sense, I still have the old tendency to try to assume the best. Why???
To be honest my mind is split in two containers, hate and positive emotions. For some reason I can never mix these containers. Either I'm a hateful bitch from hell or I feel positively.. or at least try to
I never know the solution to this. I know there is a gray middle ground, but I don't know how to feel anything but extreme hate or genuine liking (this isn't related to love, I like being single)
But I still have to process this and … should I just accept and embrace I'm just Satan? I dont know how to get rid of the part of my brain that's deeply distrusting. Tbf I don't care, but I DONT want to be disingenuous. I don't know how to NOT though
In a bad mood today. Who else unreasonably pissed off?
I suddenly have very faint freckles on my nose, how do I make them darker and stay? They’re so cute. Also I haven’t been tanning so Idk why they appeared. When I tanned before I didn’t get any either anyways so. Could they be age spots? I’m only 22
I feel so fucking pathetic that someone i didn't even know some months ago existed can make me feel such negative emotions. How can i stop giving a fuck if they text me or not it's literally driving me crazy at this point
How do I get a yandere bf?
I've dated guys who have been perfectly respectful, never angry or jealous, affectionate, and have complimented my intelligence and sense of humor. They initiated the relationships but also dumped me. They had no issues giving me space, not that I ever needed it.
But all I've ever wanted was a jealous, clingy, obsessive bf. What am I doing wrong? I keep hearing stories of women who've dated anxiously attached insane men and that's all I want. The first one I dated said he used to be infatuated with an asian girl for 2 years despite not having dated her, so clearly he's capable of it, but lost interest in me after a few months. He was a friendless loser too so you'd think he'd be the kind of person who would get obsessive. Meanwhile the second one wrote his girlfriend who dumped him and fucked a toothless guy before getting back with him a song after she dumped him the second time. He never wrote me anything.
What am I doing wrong? Is it because I'm not white/asian? How does someone inspire obsession? Once I sold cat food to a guy who contacted me a year later saying he stalked my account looking for things to buy because he thought my legs looked amazing. I'm honestly tempted to follow him up but I also don't want to have my limbs chopped off, but he's really the only person who ever seemed remotely obsessive over me.
How do you tell people about your mental disorder(s)?
I recently have been diagnosed with pathological demand avoidance, and yes it's kinda bad. I've done a lot of shitty things in my life related to this, not necessarily sure if it was because of it or not.
The biggest issue I have with this knowledge is if I should or am even required to tell anybody about this. I have a partner I'm committed to, but I feel telling any and all romantic partners has never really done much by itself. You have to explicitly state how to talk with them and how you two will interact, they won't get anything by just saying you have a disorder, and I worry about the stigma of admitting I have this. I think it's ok to hide this part of my medical history to everyone, even people I think I can trust the most. I will come clean here, but not to him, that I did lie to my partner about not meeting up and made up getting a medical appointment as a reason to cancel a big trip.
No money was lost, I did it with ample time. But do I owe anything to them to come clean, is this something I should actually worry about or is this just a normal protection thing?
i feel like screaming
I am so sick and tired of being treated like a piece of meat for male consumption. Nearly every single man that I have liked has taken advantage of my feelings towards them just to fuck and leave. Might just genuinely stop talking to men altogether as they don't seem to respect me at all as a person.
men
why are the attractive moids so arrogant and the normal or unattractive ones, obsessive? the attractive guys i was interested in, just played with my feelings; and the others became obsessed with me. There is no middle ground in a man
Traumatic Experiences
What was the most traumatic experience of your childhood (before 20)? I'd say mine was losing my house and a lot of my belongings in a fire.
How do I stop being insecure about my relationship?
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a couple of months but before then he was my best friend and started leading me on and hiding the fact he had a girlfriend and basically made me compete for his love and only showed me affection if I was being sexual towards him. When I ultimately told him he had to choose between me or her, he chose her and we stopped talking for about 2 months where we reconciled and started dating. He explained that the only reason why they were dating was because he was trying to move on from having a crush on me but I was unavailable from my abusive ex boyfriend and my boyfriend was there for the whole thing and was understanding.
The thing is.. if he had me why the hell didn’t he choose me then and there?! I know it’s the past and he’s my boyfriend now but for those 2 months I was so depressed and my mental health went down farther than the mariana trench.
I feel so bad whenever I remember and get mad at him for doing that to me but I can’t help it, it ruined my self esteem. My friends are telling me I’m being toxic for feeling this way and no matter how much I try to talk about how I feel to him, it doesn’t help.
But I have to admit it’s gone down since the start of our relationship but, how do I stop feeling so insecure?
Why did God make me ugly?
I want to die.
Do women with boyfriends genuinely think they're giving us hope by infodumping about their bfs when we mention feeling sad about being femcels or do they do this on purpose to be shitty and humblebrag?
The most common interaction both online and offline whenever any girl mentions being sad about being a virgin with no romantic experience is always something like "I used to be just like you until I found my bf and we are so so happy and married and in love now!"… Okay? How is that supposed to make anyone feel better. In fact if I didn't see it happen irl too I'd think it's just the larping moids trying to make women "seethe over not having a Chad" but I think former femcels are legitimately that shitty sometimes. Now that they have a boyfriend all their empathy for women who are still in that position is thrown out the window and theyre desperate to brag about their success to anyone who will listen. I think it might be because they're usually the type to have a boyfriend but no friends so they have no one to rave about their moid with. That and the fact that having a boyfriend isn't really impressive outside these types of spaces so most normie women would just not give a shit. Does anyone else think this comes off as insensitive or am I just being too bitter?
So, i'm the kind of person who has no plans for the future. "What do you want to do?" Nothing. "Do you want to go somewhere else?" No. "But what about-" I genuinely don't have any strong desires to do anything or get anywhere besides living a comfortable life until i die. I wouldn't say i'm a happy person, but i think i am satisfied and would just like to continue living as i have been so far. So far i have maintaned myself with fleeting pleasures like "tomorrow i will make garlic bread" or "on my way home today i will buy a new incense burner" or just entertaining myself with simple things like games or TV.
Do you think this kind of lifestyle is sustainable or does it inevitably lead to eating yourself from the inside out? Is anyone else here living day to day like the future doesn't matter? Are ephemeral pleasures worth living for even if you have no greater goal, or do you think everyone should strive for something bigger? And if you think that everyone should have a bigger goal, how would you say someone who lives like me should go about getting something else to look forward to?
moid hate thread
doesn’t have to be about your boyfriend. I just hate fucking men at this point.
>everyone of them has failed me
>any moid I’ve dated either had a rape kink, or raped me
>porn/hentai addiction
>used me for my body
>always had an alternative motive
>manipulated me into insanity
>abused me if I didn’t do anything they wanted
>even my own dad has failed me
I have no fucking hope in this world.
I was getting food with a friend last night and I approached this boy in a group. I feel kind of bad because he was clearly high or drunk, and he said he was 17 (I'm 22), but he was really cute. He asked for my contact before they left, but I don't know if I should say anything. Is it wrong to move forward with this?
What’s a red flag for you when it comes to talking to moods, other than them being men.
>mine is that I have a super girly, anime type voice. Whenever men say it’s cute or sexy. I immediately get the ick. I sound like a child bro, I know why you think it’s sooo hot.
Bipolar & Schizophrenic Feels
Can we have a thread for people who suffer from either of these illnesses? I made a thread including both since the symptoms often overlap.
What meds are you on? Are you stable or still struggling? How do your family/partner/friends react to your symptoms? What advice do you have to give to newly diagnosed or struggling patients?
Also general vents and greentexts are appreciated. It’s easy to feel alone when struggling with a severe mental illness so it’s nice to hear stories you can relate to.
*And please don’t turn this into a thread complaining about your mom, ex-partner, or anyone in your life with these illnesses who “wronged” or abused you when you don’t have the illness yourself. There are other threads for relationship and family venting. Let this be a support thread instead of a hate thread.
extreme jealousy
i trust my bf and love him a lot, like really dearly. but i can't help but feel enraged when i see him walking with other women, i know he wouldn't cheat but i always think about the "what if" ya know?
always worried if someone may be better than me because i've been cheated on so many times, so i absolutely HATE seeing him with women
how weird am i
"The complainer is always wrong"
I recently found this article on tvtropes.com (a criminally underrated website, btw) explaining how the idea that raising concerns always makes you a whiny little bitch who should be punished got pushed on the public. I'd been thinking about this general dilemma for a long time and it was really helpful to see that someone else also recognizes the issues with these sorts of social mores.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheComplainerIsAlwaysWrong
It's an inherently nonsensical idea, it gives free reign to whoever speaks or acts first to be a stupid asshole and but forbids anyone else from being even slightly "negative" in response. It gets even more stupid when you consider the basis for it, this "pro-social" meme. All the non-specific pushes for this operate on the assumption that any group anywhere must agree with your moral values, and only lone wolves could disagree. That is insanely far from the truth, the vast majority of crimes and other destructive activities come from people acting as a group.
What sort of experiences have you had regarding this moral? It's definitely brought me a lot of suffering.
Is it just me
I think it's so pathetic and weird to get this fucked up over a fucking break up
Stacy Envy
Does anyone else get upset when they see pretty women? I know nothing good comes from it, but I can't help but feel envious.
If I looked like her, my whole life would have been different.
I haven’t felt happiness since I was 13. I miss my childhood so much. I feel like I can’t move on past the year 2004. I feel stuck there and yearn for it constantly. It’s like my soul left my body that year and I’ve been a zombie ever since. How do I stop being stuck in the past? I can’t find anything to enjoy or look forward to.
I WISH I WAS PRETTY
I WISH I WAS YOUNGER
I WISH I WAS PRETTY
I WISH I WAS LOVEABLE
I WILL NEVER BE ANYONES TYPE
I wish I was a fucking moid
LARPing as a Christian
Sometimes I get the small urge to LARP as a Christian just to feel a sense of community and an easy way to make friends (church).
Of course I never follow through with it because I think lying about something like that would be disrespectful and I'd probably be caught anyway since I've never read the bible, but I envy their sense of community. Seems like religious people just quickly become friends with people of the same religion more often than not.
I wish I had some group/place to 'belong' to like they do. Or an easy way to meet friendly people.
Just Petty Thoughts
I find it unpleasant to hear my boyfriend talking to his friends while I'm sitting alone outside of his room and even in his room just browsing stuff online.
He always texts his friends in front of me whenever we're in public places, which is something I'm used to, but the strange thing is that he repeats what he told me earlier but puts more effort into the chat with his friends.
Seeing him smile made me feel insecure about our relationship. Before we were dating, we used to talk to each other every day. I truly miss that time period.
It doesn't make sense logically to be petty when it's your fault that you have no friends who are ACTIVELY interested in talking to you or who initiate conversations. I have some work to do in this area. But no matter how hard I try to have a chat with my friends, they tend to be so dull. They never take the time to be thoughtful or even ask me to play games with them. Never have I ever felt satisfied to be friends with someone.
cheating
I've had a few bad experiences with men cheating on me and I've always ended up forgiving him. Is it really that bad? I feel horrible that he broke my trust, but it doesn't feel like something I should end the relationship over. I'm at a loss here and not really sure what to do. This is the 3rd time I've had a boyfriend of mine cheat on me. What was some of your experiences or hardships with cheating? Can he really… fix it? or was it just a one time thing? idk I'm at a loss. I love him though. please let me know if you have any advice about it.
I'm afraid I won't make any friends in university
Tall girl envy
I like the slender tall girl look. Every time I see a tall girl with long legs and a decent frame, I get filled with unexplainable and seething rage. They passively burn more calories because of their basal metabolic rate just for existing. If I were at just 160cm, I'd be at a dangerously and even fatal weight. But at my current weight and height, I look like a slump. My stubby and short legs. I don't look mature or anything; my face just looks copy pasted on a barely pubescent body. To add salt to the wound, my hips look really large compared to my body. So it's linearly thin and then expands horizontally and then becomes thin again. If I were taller it would be less noticeable! I hate being short so fucking much.
My growth plates are closed… Maybe I should just accept being a shortie…
Suicide Support Thread
Post in this thread if you're thinking about suicide and would like some non-judgemental love and support.
CC is always here to listen to anything on your mind.
You are important to us and we love you.
tips on making online friends?
How exactly do you make friends online nonas? I have no friends irl and it's driving me crazy recently. I never really cared about that but suddenly I'm tired of being alone. I don't really know how to start a friendship since getting to know people irl is quite hard for me so I decided to start online, since I spend a lot of time on the internet. Any tips? I don't really use social media, which one is best for making friends/interacting with people?
What do I do when I have nothing to talk about with someone? My fwb keeps asking me to hang out, even when we're not going to fuck, but there's so much dead air between us.
For more context, I'm taking meds that makes it hard for me to get aroused, and she knows this because I've told her about it, so she isn't really asking me out with eventual sex in mind. We just hang out, but like I said we don't talk much when we do and it's cringe but she still asks me out. I like her enough but not to the point that I want to be her friend, we just don't click. What do? And maybe… how do I come up with things to talk about with someone who's very much different from me
Break up thread
I finally found someone who I really thought was the one but then I woke up to a message that he cheated on me and is breaking up with me. We would fall asleep together every night online and pretty much perma be online together, then irl stuff happens and he can't and he does this. I was having trouble sleeping, thinking of him every night, he was and still is the only man I want and think about but then all this happened. I fucking hate people. I hate opening up to people. Yet I want to be loved. I feel so alone and sad, when I do open up to someone this fucking happens. I just want to off myself right now honestly but I have too many responsibilities to do that… How to cope anons?
I've been seeing users requesting more general/containment threads on /feels/. Please leave your suggestions here.
How do I stop secretly hating my friends?
I know this is so bad but I can't help it.
I can never have any long lasting friendships because my friends end up annoying me and I dislike them. Is this just me? Am I the problem?
>reminded that one day my plushies will get too worn out to repair and die forever
How do i cope with this feeling?
me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a half, i love him, he loves me!!
i know he would never cheat on me, but theres this friend he has that i despise.
let me preface that she is a lesbian/bisexual, and she has a girlfriend.
but last year, she's always been acting weird around him by calling his name in a whiny voice, throwing me under the bus infront of his father, and wanting to do things for him that i should be doing.
i stopped being friends with her, but he didn't. theres a new school year and he has lunch with her!
she's the only person he sits with and apparently they talk the entire time during lunch since he has no time to respond to me.
i know he'd never cheat on me, but i cant help but still feel super weird because of how she act towards him. he compared her to a little kid and saidshe will eventually become sister status to him once they grow closer.
i am livid, i am so upset.
help am i being schizo
pls help
How do I get over a breakup? I had a boyfriend of 1 year who I would've given anything to (he was my first bf), and he promised he'd never leave but he ended up leaving me anyway. I can't stop thinking about him, and it's been over a month already. He still tells me he loves me, but he doesn't act like he does so I don't really have any hope regarding him. How do I make the pain in my heart go away? :(
Relationship General
Paradise to trouble in paradise. Come here for:
>advice
>?s about romance, love, potential partners, etc.
>experiences and wishes
>venting
Play nice!
Men are literally sociopaths
This guy for last three years has hit me at almost the exact same time every single year and stops talking to me around the same time. EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR.
He’s not even from 4chan or anything just your normal run of the mill guy.
I always felt off from my peers and my parents and teachers in this third world country would have zero awareness about things like neurotypicality and neurodivergence
Reading a few years ago that aspie kids may not engage in pretend play made me sit up straight. I never liked pretend play, I could never play with dolls. Confirmed this with my parents.
Then I've been taking bunch of self assessment tests
My scores in a few
AQ: 32
EQ: 27
RAADS: 130
I've looked at results of people in aspie community and they're way higher than that.
I don't have special interests as such that I'm super obsessed about now (as a kid I had few). But then I've been a burnout since many years.
I'm at loss as to what to do next. Have been looking at list of good mental health professionals so I can get proper diagnosis.
It's very daunting yet it would be nice to make sense of things that felt off with me since forever
Online Dating
Have any of you succeeded in using dating apps or meeting people online? I have always wanted to give it a go but it's so daunting to me. I would absolutely panic if I caught someone who expressed interest aaaaaaa please tell me someone else was in my boat once
>tfw you find a dress you saved for a special ocassion while cleaning the closet and know it doesnt even fit you and you don't have a special ocassions anymore
Happy ending
>be me
>have sexual trauma leading me to send vulnerable pictures of myself online because would get pressured
>leave highschool
>goes on online to see something that I agree with about feeling paranoid about seeing pictures of me in my teenaged years
>two girls, one i never spoke to and another i dropped half a year ago as they were troublesome see comment
>both reply bashing me and invalidating my feelings, pretty much embarassing themselves when i barley know them anymore
>the comment i made was uncanny and i was joking around
>outsiders see the comments and bash the two girls and they end up deleting their comments
I love when random people help support you for the right
But fr! I feel so sad for the two girls trying to bash me for my past and potentially thinking i'd get more stressed, bitch go back to sleep!
I could be vulnerable but the both of you are embarassing!
>happy ending
Romantic love is shallow and looks based.
Romantic love is shallow and looks based. It's not wholesome or cute.
Qt Partner Thread
Greentext traits and how lovely your partner is
I just want to kill myself really badly right now. I'm planning it out and everything. Every time before i was just desperate for it to end and it never worked, but this time all i can feel is an inescapable void of nothingness. I can't imagine a future for myself and i'm scared of admitting i don't want to inagine any sort of future. I can't give meaning to my own life so i just hope to end it peacefully… I'm just posting here because i don't know where else to talk about this. I don't want to put these thoughts on social media and i can't bring myself to write it out in my diary.
I don't know if i'll manage to do it, or if i can make it through another week that feels so entirely pointless. I don't know. If anyone has any sort of thoughts to share feel free to, don't care if it's encouragement to do it, advice or if you're just in the same boat. Everything feels so numb and i just want to feel something again
My only “friend” my oldest sister had agreed to attend 3 concerts with me, we agreed to this months in advance. (She’s my only choice as I have no BF or friends); now my relationship overall with her is toxic and unstable (as much as it is with my entire family in itself) so it’s safe to say I can’t predict what she might do.
We went to our first concert of 3 the other night, I had a blast. But today she started a whole fight and basically made me feel like I don’t wanna go with her to the rest of the concerts (despite me spending lots of money on the tickets) I also offered to pay for her for all 3 concerts but she declined after the fact.
Right now I’m not sure what to do, do I forfeit the 2 upcoming concerts and not go and just take the $700 loss in money? Because I don’t think I’ll get a refund.
I know I could make a Craigslist add for someone to go with me (and they wouldn’t have to pay at all) but my mom wouldn’t let me leave the house alone, let alone with someone off Craigslist I just met
Are there any people here who have actually had a successful relationship lasting more than 18 months? Please tell me your secret to lasting relationships.
Advice in socializing?
Sup gals, I'm a 19yr old virgin who never have been on a date, ever.
I've been chatting and gaming together for like 2 years with a 7/10 dude who got somehow interested in me because of our autistic hobbies.
I learnt how to makeup,dropped some considerable amount of weight but the biggest problem still persists.
I haven't normally talked to anyone irl for like 3 years and afraid im gonna go full retard when we meet. i still have 2 days left,what do???
Do straight guys ever act nice to girls when they’re NOT trying to get laid (or get something else from them, but usually it’s sex)? I even mean just being friendly, but especially when they’re being seriously helpful, kind, chatty, understanding etc. Can you have male friends who aren’t just looking for sex?
Conversely, have you ever been nice to someone (to whatever extent) just because you thought they were attractive? Is your personality different when dealing with attractive people?
friendless feels
the title says it all.
i ended up scrolling through the account of someone a few years younger than me and saw posts like pic related…just people (kids i guess) having fun with their friends and it made me sad because i never got to have that ):
can anyone relate?
also, general friendless anon thread.
so empty
I have recently started frequenting this site more and i really like the fact that its a mostly all women environment because when i used to browse places like 4chan i started to get influenced by the misogyny of the site. The only problem with this site though is that barely no one posts on it (its very slow) i dont know if this is a blessing or a curse because less traction means a lower chance of moids fucking everything up and its comfier since not many people know about it. But still id like to see more posts come up as most threads on the boards are years old. What do the rest of you think?
Actually funny things
Post things that you find actually funny. Not the things you feel obliged to laugh at, or that simply make you exhale. No, things that catch you off guard and make you laugh out loud. For me: How I Met Your Mother (basic I know right) and P.G. Wodehouse
Afraid of getting better
I've been doing pretty good the last few days mentally, situation at home is getting better, but now its late at night and I'm feeling depressed again for some reason, idk why, and even though I feel like crap and I want to die, I feel a little relieved.
And now I realize I really don't want to get better, throwing out psyche pills isn't even because I hate big pharma and think they're a scam, its because I'm scared they'll work and I'll have to move on with my life.
Idk why I'm such a self loathing loser who's addicted to misery and afraid of happiness. Why am I like this? I don't want to get better, I wanna get worse until I have it in me to die.
not fitting in
Something I really hate about people is that their insistence that they don't fit in. Everybody and their mother feels like an outsider, but are they really?
I swear I have been alone, really alone, my whole life. If you can hold a conversation with another human being, and befriend them, and remain friends for longer than a few weeks, what are you even talking about? I'd give my left tit to swallow koolaid and fit in with whatever group.
I'm not racist, so I don't fit in with the KKK, I'm not beautiful so I don't fit in with instathots, I'm not deformed so I don't fit in with freakshows, I'm not autistic so I don't understand autistic people, I'm not liberal so I don't fit in with those idiots either.
What are you supposed to do when there's no place for you? I think I have made one real friend recently, and even she would abandon me if I was 100% my true self. Should I get a fucking lobotomy so I can stop being so god damn weird?
Help.
I used to think i was funny back then because i usually didnt have a hard time making people laugh even when just having met them. This was until i met my current boyfriend who's only sense of humor is gay or offensive jokes. Im usually pretty witty and he doesn't even crack a smile and i feel like i have to push myself to be someone Im not to make him laugh. Its super annoying cause he does tell me im not funny, even if its in a joking manner I dont like it because i know he means it.
He's not the most entertaining guy himself and its so annoying that he thinks his humor is somehow superior when it's extremely childish. His friends and him are always making these super obnoxious and super over used gay jokes i may have found funny the first time not the 10000000 time. Their whole shtick is to pretend to be homoerotic with each other all that dumb shit. All i can think is that if they joke about it so much one of them must actually be gay.
Anyway i do love my boyfriend despite all this so leaving him isnt an option. Most guys my age have this stupid sense of humor now anyways. I just need advice on how to not be upset when i cant make him laugh cause every other aspect of our relationship is fine.
Have you ever had anyone die
I have. But i didn't care.
I didn't cry at my grandma's funeral. But I've been crying non stop over my computer's SSD corrupting. All of my pictures, my files, my downloads, all of them are gone. And to me it feels like someone died today.
Maybe it's just stuff, but it wasn't for me. My mom laughed at me being upset, and my dad just gave me a lecture on why this is a lesson for me to back up my shit.
I just want my shit back.
I feel like I'll never be happy again.
Living with someone with a serious disorder or disability
Part vent, part desperate plea for help…
My boyfriend whom I live with has OCD among other things. It wasn't a problem before, but the past 6 months it has been getting progressively worse. We spend 4-5 hours (possibly more, he cleans when I'm not home, too) cleaning every day. The whole apartment gets cleaned daily. We can't have any decorations because they'll quickly get "dirty" or become "dangerous." any niisefrom the upstairs or next door neighbors are because they're angry at us. Hands must be washed after everything. All surfaces constantly disinfected. If there's any splashing while washing, clothes must be changed, etc. Going out anywhere takes several hours of prep. After coming home, clothes must be taken off in the entryway, then one has to shower, then clean all areas where one walked (and hey, since you're cleaning already…. Do the other rooms, too!)
I desperately want him to get professional help, but he has trauma and is really distrustful of medical professionals. I offered to go to therapy /counseling together (no medications) but he refused.
I have my own disabilities and I know he's had to sacrifice to help me as well, so I'm usually patient and help. But all I do is work, clean, try to sleep but get waken up because something is dirty/dangerous, repeat. Sometimes for an hour or two he is back to his old self but then something happens and we're back to cleaning. It's so frustrating.
And of course I can't talk to anyone about it. I feel so isolated embarrassed, and frustrated that I can't do more and get won't get help.
Is anyone here in a similar situation (as either party)? What do you do? Any advice?
Have you ever been so in love with someone you wish you never met them?
how can one function in society with the pervasiveness of blackpillism?
it seems these days that being "blackpilled" is synonymous with being pro-intellectual, as most blackpill ideology is built on facts (or the perception of fact-based argumentation), nonconformism, and being aware of how coping mechanisms affect our view of reality.
while i value the truth, i also don't like being pitted against racial groups for no reason and constantly having the storytelling of a bunch of antisocial Joker fanatics being shoved down my throat.
so what do we do? kek
nonas what's the best city in the uk to move to as an imageboard lurking weeb with no friends? places where its a bit easier to meet other girls with similar interests and its not just moid football players with no other hobbies
anybody else here a sucker for the past? (as in when you were young) I find myself constantly thinking about "the good days" listening to old music from 2009 and looking at old photos on my phone over and over. It feels like a sort of mental mutilation, like I always get sad looking at old photos and I do it because of that, because I want to be sad, I don't know my life just sucks now
pic related
>I will never watch skins for the first time again
How would I go about getting a job as an interior designer?
Feels pointless to get a degree, it's mostly a freelance, start-your-own-business kinda thing right?
How would I get clients and build a portfolio? Seems like you need to already be established and well-known to get any clients in the first place. And it's not like graphic design where you can just whip together some stuff in your free time to fill a portfolio, I'd literally need to find a house to use and spend thousands on furniture and decor just to get a single sample.
Do I just need connections high-up? Maybe with realtors (ew)?
Sister Thread
Post any sister things!
Mine is that I've often wanted to tell my younger sister about this site but I'm not sure how she'd react, god forbid she found lolcow. Would you show your sisters this site?
i feel so lonely tonight
Today I went to a sort of family friend's house and two teenagers sort of around my age (slightly older)were there. We all started talking and we even went to this place where teens hang out and stuff. But while we were out they started making fun of me and calling me names. This hurt my feelings cause i was being myself and i had been excited at the opportunity to make friends since i don't have any. I know its annoying to self pity like this but i dont know what about me makes people dislike me. It feels like im an alien at times. This isnt the first times this happens and i just dont feel like trying to make friends anymore. When im alone i feel happy like no one can hurt me and today being with those people made me feel lonely. It might've also been my fault they started making fun of me cause when i first meet people they always think im dumb because of my sense of humor. I just really like trying to make people laugh. Anyways im sorry for this whole post its stupid anyway. I just wanted to rant about it and if were to write in my diary my hand would ache. When writing in diaries (at least for me) its difficult because i constantly have all these thoughts running through my head over any details i might be leaving out. Thank you for reading.
Funny friend syndrome?
I know, I know "anyone that calls themselves that is probably not actually funny". I'm just using the term because it feels like the best way to describe the situation. I have a great female friend group but I don't understand why I'm treated differently from everyone else. Everyone talks about their personal problems all the time, sometimes in great detail, for hours, and even sharing some really TMI stuff that I know for sure made some people in the gc uncomfortable. Either way, they all always reply and are supportive towards whoever is venting. I still have some emotional highschool scars where I was made to feel like speaking about personal stuff makes me annoying, so I mostly keep quiet about my problems. It takes a lot out of me to get the courage to tell my friends about any news, good or bad, in my life. And yet whenever I do, I get ignored. But whenever I'm cracking jokes, I get tons of replies and praise. Why am I treated so differently? It really makes me wanna isolate myself. Often times I do, and they @ me saying they miss me and want me to come back but they really make me feel like a burden for sending a single text talking about something good that happened to me.
Does this happen to anyone else? And is there anything I can do? I know the obvious answer would be to "just communicate", but I really don't wanna risk sounding whiny or like im pointing fingers like "You replied when [name] was talking about her ex for a week straight but not to a single text about my date??" Idk.
This past year almost every guy I went out with was younger than me. Most of them just thought I was lying about my age and I was younger or the same age as them. Honestly it was probably the best year of dating I’ve had. None of them wanted to be called daddy or wanted to control me. They all were still dominate over me because I’m smol, but I didn’t feel degraded. It still feels weird though. Do any of the older women feel bad when you date someone younger?
I want to get rid of all the girly goofy things I do
I feel like my mother passed these things onto me. I hate them with a passion. How do I get rid of these habits?
/rock bottom/ - general
This thread is for people who have hit rock bottom. Not people who are having a bad day, but people who are living in the depths of despair. Whether you're a nona who is struggling with serious addiction, mental or physical illness that severely precludes your life, constantly feeling suicidal, whether you're being abused, have any other serious life issues or if you are simply unable to function and don't know where else to turn, vent here and let's try to support each other.
help am i gay
im a little bit retarded so im sorry for posting this question, but why am i so obssesed with ciara horan and other girls like her. Im a girl and i have a boyfriend and i think im straight but i always look at picture s of girls i find attractive. I do this for hours. I dont know if its because my own disdain over my physical appearance that makes me obssess on others.
Long Distance Relationships
Thread to discuss Long Distance Relationships. The struggles, the pros… meeting the person for the first time… meeting them for the 50th time… vent both sad and happy things. LDRs can be quite a challenge but it's the right thing for some people.
How do I find other terfs/CC people to be friends with in my city?
I feel like a lot of other girls don't rly understand this feeling of just not wanting to be surrounded by guys and wanting fellowship with other girls and I feel super disconnected here, not able to relate to normal people.
How to stop thinking about slash and BL at my job when it's dead
My graveyard shift has NOTHING going on every damn day. The pictures in my mind come out of nowhere. They are so beautiful and pure actually<333 but I don't want to have them at work. HELP
overwhelmed by hyperfixation
Anyone ever get it this bad? I know there’s a lot of autistic people on here.
Basically, the whole month I’ve been obsessed with some stupid hobby website. What this website is about would give away my identity (I have talked about it before) but it has completely robbed me of any passion really. I could barely do art or write or anything I’m passionate about. I had to keep checking the website. It was almost like I had to find something. I had to respond to things, I had to list things and make posts. If I’m not prepared for whatever I’m doing this for, then it’s gonna suck. But what is that thing? 300 posts this month and I barely got shit done. And I couldn’t even talk about it cause it was too niche. It was not productive and just repetitive, but I had to keep going for some reason.
In addition, I annoyed my friends so badly with this hyperfixation I had in 2020. A lot of it was very silly ironic, and I would try to make jokes about it and laugh. A lot of time, they would be annoyed, especially as time went on, but I made more just to get the occasional laugh. What this hyperfixation is is also way too niche to mention. They seem like the type to post on here too.
I have aspergers, possibly ocd (maybe not, but I can’t really afford diagnosis right now) and my moms whole side has addiction problems (around 2/3 of the family members died young because of addiction, and the ones who are still alive are addicts in some way, whether it be smoking or food).
It’s also been most than 1 1/2 year since my crush on someone, and even after we’re not friends she still sticks around in my brain.
Even the little things about me are like this sometimes, and there’s more examples of stuff like this happening, but I don’t feel like talking about them. Is it even normal to dislike hyperfixations? Because that’s how I feel about a lot of them. It’s not a judgement thing either, like I genuinely feel like what I’m doing is a waste of time and not enjoyable, but I do it anyways because temporary relief.
Did god just decide to make me the most obsessive person ever as a joke? Holy shit.
Picrel is a visual depiction of my shitass brain.
Going to bars alone?
The only time in my life I ever got approached by a man who was normal was at a bar where I went with my cousins.
I don't like going out with my cousins because they party too hard and I can't talk with or relate to them.
I want to go to bars alone so I can talk to people but I don't have any friends to take me and make sure I don't get kidnapped.
Advice?
Nymphette Syndrome
I feel old, but I am 20. I know I am only getting older, but I feel like I'm wasted potential. I have these really nasty thoughts that my best years are behind me because I don't classify as a teen anymore and that I am no longer a sexual option. I cried on my eighteenth birthday because I wasn't a minor anymore, and when I was a minor I was scared of turning into an adult not only because of responsibility but because my appeal would be gone. Porn has poisoned society's brain. Everyone wants a young, fresh, dangerously young girl to be with. Sometimes I regret that I wasn't "dangerous enough" as a teenage girl, and I should have milked all the attention I got from men who objectified me based on age. I mean, I feel terrible for having insecurities like these in general. Not only do they feel WRONG to have, but they are very hard to get rid of. I remember my mom telling me how sexy I was when I was 13, and would let me know if there was an older man looking at my figure, and treated it as if it were a good thing. Or the school staff member who would press himself up against me and tell me how beautiful I was for my age, and to "never get older". So now it's how I measure my value as a human. I seriously never wish this insecurity on anyone. I feel like a hag. The saddest part is that I am becoming more and more correct with the people treating porn as if it is "healthy", and women (and troons) dressing as little girls for sexual attention. But I feel the exact same as them. I want to be valued just as I was when I was a little girl. Now that I am legal I'm no longer fun to be played with. Does anyone else deal with this?
/tfw no bf/ - general
Can we have a no bf feels thread? I'm tired of pretending to be single and happy. I want a man, dammit.
How to accept that someone just doesn't love you?
How to accept that someone just doesn't love you? My brain keeps making excuses, looking for small signs, but reality and action of the person say that they simply don't give a shit about me. Just today I heard how he was talking of the phone with his girlfriend, he said 'I love you' to her, but I still just can't accept that. It's like I'm just straight up delusional. How to move on?
missing everything
having no family and no sources of support has fucked me up pretty badly as an autist. grew up in a really isolated/rural area where the prevailing sentiment was "Girls dont have autism desu" and being disabled in any way is life ruining socially. couldn't get a diagnosis until teenage years because one of my schizo grandparents wouldn't do the required interview due to her hatred of autists, so even though i had very obvious speech impediments, dyspraxia, etc they wouldn't give the diagnosis without the interviews.
my mother abandoned me when i was born because she was mentally ill as fuck and my father was an alkie and an addict who died when i was pretty young, so i grew up without any supportive female guardians, as my only aunt was abusive and would degrade me, throw things, get locked up in psychiatric wards for here unstable behavior. schizo grandmother also abused me, and all of them idly stood by after i was getting groomed by a near 30 year old as a 16/17 year old girl who didn't know any better.
kept getting fed the meme that things get better, but things can only get better if something changes. without any support or love, things only deteriorated. Got some mysterious physical illness around the time i turned 18 and despite a million blood tests and MRIs, no one knows what's wrong and im assumed to be faking the chronic fatigue, cognitive issues and pain.
ive tried over 20 medications despite being in my early 20s and over a dozen therapists who were useless at best or condescending at worst and turned me being raped or abused by moids into a joke. studying a similsr science field i realized what a sham so much of that is, when one of my biggest issues is that i have no family because they're all dead, or disowned me, getting told "wow that sucks" doesn't help
I'm in my last year of university and i see that as my last chance to make friends, but it's very hard to do anything with chronic pain and getting worn out so easily, on top of being autistic and having years of trauma. im 23 as well and most people at uni are 18-21 year olds who are spoilt and go home to their parents all the time. ive been on the verge of homelessness before and had abusive bfs who took advantage of that vulnerability, they knew good and well there's no help out there.
what im missing in life is a comfy and chill place to live, i would kill to have a mother figure or even just some chill aunts, uncles, and cousins who i could casually spent time with witjout the expectation of providing constant entertainment and having to mask. Am not conventionally attractive either due to autism baby face and dress alt/j fashion a lot so i don't fit in at all with British wear skimpy clothing in 0 degree weather and drink all night in a sleazy club culture
All moids with short hair should be tortured and fucking dead
Especially those who had long hair and cut it. God, they voluntarily turn themselves repulsive. It's fucking everywhere, reddit, youtube etc today. And people around praise them, motherfuckers. Liking men with short hair is such a COPE. COPE.
>your new haircut looks so good uWu
Cope.
Fuck why women's needs are so dismissed that you can't even trust a subreddit specifically for moids with long hair, it is still a male circlejerk when you can loudly announce your exit by posting a pic with your hair cut short. In a motherfucking long hair sub. Kys please to the people who do this. All I want is to crush their sculls, pump their veins with acids and rip their asses in half. Why do moids get to look at beautiful women and I am left with uglies to cope with? Fuck fuck fuck. Why am I the only one furious with it? Am i broken or what?
>wake up
>no texts
Do ugly girls get matches on tinder and other dating apps?? Or is it like ugly guys where you go months without matches or atleast get very few.
How to slowly ghost an old friend
I have this friend who sees me as the absolute pinnacle of truth and honesty but i just get more annoyed with her by the day. i stayed at her house last week because i thought maybe it would remind me that i like her. nope. she just got more annoying and now i feel bad because i mooched off of her by staying at her place.
this girl is a hardcore protestant but is also obsessed with sex. honestly considers herself a virgin after taking it everywhere EXCEPT the cooch. likes to talk about her masturbation stories??? i hate it because although i want sex i'm kind of traumatised by it. i told her this. she spergs out and gets angry when she hears anything about catholicism, meditation, or yoga. (i'm not even kidding about meditation. she thinks being still and quiet is satanic) all of this has caused her to be completely insufferable and i can't talk about anything around her.
she's always saying stuff like "you're such a great friend and i know you'll never lie to me" and i just… wanna leave. i cant tell her she makes me uncomfortable, or that i'm not a christian.
what do i do?
Would it be mean to end a friendship over things a friend did in the past you initially forgave them for? I don't feel like getting specific but about 3-4 years ago, my moid friend would try to get sexual with me and be pushy about it, and then I'd get mad at him and block him. But every time, he'd make new accounts when I blocked them asking me to forgive him and unblock him and I did, which happened multiple times. I know it's stupid, I've always been too forgiving and a pushover. I'd forgive people even if they didn't deserve it, though I'm 18 now and I'm starting to stop this and learning to have more self-respect.
I don't think I actually forgive him. He hasn't done anything bad for 2 years but I still get angry thinking about what he did, and it's always somewhere in the back of my mind and I regret ever forgiving him. Some people might say to just move on but to me, it feels unforgivable and I wish we weren't friends sometimes because of it. I'd also feel bad because he's offered to do my homework for me before but it doesn't really make anything better. Maybe it is mean to end the friendship but I still don't want to be friends with him anymore. I've thought about just not texting him as much but I wish things ended completely.
As women. Do you think that confessing your feelings to a man that you know may reject you is wrong
I've been strongly attracted to this guy for more than 5 months. It was hard to overcome my anxiety to start speaking with him and I still feel nervous around him but I made it to the point we get along and share the same circle of friends. But he is obviously not interested in me. Sometimes I feel he is colder with me compared to how he treats his friends. Most of the times that we interact is because I made the first contact, even though he is nice when we speak he doesn't make efforts to follow the conversation.
I thought that after meeting him this feel would stop or he may be interested in me but neither of those two things happened. I am tired to feel this way because it's been so many months and his lack of interest is painful. I have tried to avoid him or not speak with him for days but it doesn't work (also, we are coworkers), so, I came to the conclusion that confessing my feelings and knowing his reaction may be the best way to come back to my senses, because I still have some hopes he may like me back or that he is just shy or some of that trash.
Do you think that is the right thing to do or am I just exposing myself unnecessarily? I would just do it for my own mental peace but i am not sure if that will work.
shelters
>come from an abusive home
>"nona, just contact a hotline, they'll help"
>contact a hotline, they never answer
>contact other hotlines, each one refers me to the next which says the same as the last, they can't help
>"people are here for you"
>get a number for a local shelter, i ask for other ways to stay in touch, the worker provides other contact info, but sighs, and i don't hear back from them
Mixed signals from a girl?
Hi girls, I'm just wondering if any of the other gay/bi girls on here had any advice for me. Also this could just be a general lgbt dating thread??? idk
Anyway.
I've been getting kinda mixed signals from a girl I chat to online, we both live in diff countries but not like, the other side of the world kinda thing, more like say an hours flight away. I've only ever dated men and this is my first real crush on a girl, so I don't really know what to look out for. Idk whether she is into girls either, but she has never said otherwise- we are both ace though, and she knows I am biromantic.
But basically, she calls me cute a lot, has even gone so far as to say we are like soulmates, when i mentioned i was chatting to another girl (we used to talk on insta) she suddenly asked to add me on whatsapp, we are ridiculously similar and even jokingly said about us running off to another country to live together.
But then, she is sometimes really distant…I mean I understand taking a day or something to reply to texts bc tbf we do basically send one another digital letters…but sometimes its like two days and it will stay like that for a while then all of a sudden she's super into chatting to me again. It kinda screws with me a bit because I don't know where I stand.
I'm super into her but it's really uncharted ground here with me because I've never dated another girl and have no clue what signs to look out for or whether she's just being friendly and I don't wanna overstep any boundaries. I also don't wanna risk just asking her out in case it freaks her out lmao, because I'd rather not jeopardise my friendship with her.
Do any of you suffer from PMDD? (It’s the sever form of PMS)
How bad are your symptoms and is there anything you do to help with anxiety and panic attacks?
am I retarded
>talk to some guy on discord for a while
>discussion about mental illness and brain stuff on public server
>I get into a kinda fight with another guy I sometimes talk to about something unrelated
>guy 1 tells me rather rudely to take it to private channels and not disrupt the discussion
>I get emotional and unload on him and write wall of text about my problems in private
>he ignores most of my posts and tries to calm me down
>I block him
>unblock him some time later
>he won't accept my friendship requests and doesn't reply when I try to talk to him on public servers
Is there a way to salvage this
sudden sexuality crisis
what does it mean if i can be attracted to men but feel repulsed by almost all men at the same time? the capacity is there for me to find guys attractive, but at the same time, after everything, i know that i would never choose to date/marry/have sex with one. i can’t trust moids at all. thinking about being with one for the rest of my life just fills me with dread. i’m attracted to women but calling myself a lesbian just feels disingenuous because i know i have had crushes on men but i feel uncomfortable saying i’m bi too because i don’t want it to seem like i’m “available” to men if that makes sense..? am i just overthinking or faking it? i don’t really have anyone i can tell this to
Dear crystal.cafe
I'm turning 22 in a few days and for some reason I feel incredibly old ( most people I work / interact with are 18-20)
What is something that you would like to have known when you where 22?
What is some advice you wish someone had given you ?
Am I a creep for doing this?
I stood really close behind a guy at the grocery store because I knew he'd bump into me when he turned around. He smelled good, and I just wanted to feel his body touch mine. Anyone else ever do something like this?
i had the weirdest dream last night
>had argument with bf just before sleeping
>ended up having a dream where i was flirting with this guy
>he is super skinny and feminine
>i have a crush on dream guy
>in dream im still dating my bf
>we (me and dream guy) go to the park together, spend lots of time together
>me and him end up talking in bed together
>i feel like he's flirting back with me
>i kiss him
>he immediately starts crying and saying that i have ruined everything and that he didn't have feelings for me like that
>mfw rejected even in my dreams
What does this say about me? What does this say about my relationship?
pic related, dream guy looked like finn wolfhard (my bf looks nothing like him)
describe your perfect life to me
be as fantastical and dreamy as you want, i am just curious about the ways other people want to live.
pic's from her shim cheong
Miscarriage
Thought I would be never be able to get pregnant. Thought that not being able to get pregnant was the worst feeling.
Boy was I wrong. I'm in a lot of pain, physical and emotional. Some weirdo told me I'm probably miscarrying because one of my crazy male exes is into the dark arts, I'd like to hear from people who are less batshit insane.
Anyone else experienced this? Any advice on what to do?
for those who have dated women and men, what are your thoughts on the differences?
i’ve never felt more love or happiness than with men. i feel like i’m made for them the way they love me. it makes me so happy
with women, pretty much everything but that is better. there’s so much stupid shit men do. but i don’t think i’ve ever been in love with a woman the way i have with a man.
me and my SO have all the same signs in all the same houses
Lesbian Feels
Discuss the difficulties and joys of being lesbian, whether it's related to your partner or how you're treated by society. Share your stories of when you realized you were lesbian, too!
Vent Thread
Previous: >>>/feels/77420
hate how guy/girl friendships r rare
anyone in college and found it super difficult to make friends because it's like a horrid pattern of, a guy will "be friends" with you, but then when they learn you aren't interested in dating them, they bail? I feel incredibly worthless and I know I am not, but it's gotten to a point where I feel futile in my effots to keep friends. Currently i've made friends with a gay couple, but gays…they have this way of making everything about them? like they don't care that much about what a girl experiences, which is understandable, but it still sucks.
I'm in a STEM field so that's why it's difficult to find girl friends.
also, i feel super ashamed of myself because i used to date guys just so i could still be friends with them, even though i'm not even attracted to men whatsoever. i hate myself
pic related because I wish I was doing this on purpose but i'm not. guys give me shit for not telling them sooner that I'm not "into" them but like, when the fuck is it appropiate to tell you i don't want to date you? that's rude as hell to just be like "btw, i'm fine with us being friends, but no more than that".
/fcg/ - femcel general
post all things related to your involuntary celibacy
thread prompts:
>when did you realize you were a femcel and how old are you now
>what does being a femcel mean to you
>vent about celibacy
>what are your interests ? ( just curious, not necessarily related )
feel free to add more
Am I being unfaithful if I go out with a guy for coffee? I have a long distance boyfriend.
the ideal life: reality vs idealism, monkey brain vs civilization
i have no control of my emotions and it often throws the direction i want to lead my life in awry. i like stability and yet i also like chaos at the same time.
how do we find the perfect balance? what does it even mean to finally have found the "perfect balance" in life? i know i'm overthinking, but i still haven't found my intuition for the life i want to lead. i don't want to be boringly principled but i don't want to be extremely degenerate either.
have any older miners come to a point where everything "feels right"?
Gonna be honest, I'm feeling extremely depressed and need some advice. I don't know what to do with my life. I was supposed to get out of here years ago and live, but my parents wrecked it all for me with their own life mistakes (I don't want to go too into detail). There's little to nothing I can do from here but try to uproot.
What's a good, easy country for a third world woman to move to? I graduated from HS and have two years of uni under my belt. I want to start uni again, find a nice, comfortable job and live a quiet life. I can't stay here, because while it's "home", there are no opportunities, no one to fall in love with, no one I can really connect with. I feel like I'm trapped in purgatory. Help please.
the "sub chad"
Does he exist? Is it worth hoping that i'll find it one day or is it just a myth. Not just sexually submissive obviously, but submissive in general. If he does exist, is he a decent person and not just a womanhater who has a secret femdom fetish? Is it possible to find a nice attractive boy like this?
Can autistic people manipulate? or should I say, autistic moids?
I will preface this thread by saying that I am not autistic (at least not that I know of, I never have had a psychological assessment done to me in my life so I do not know if I'm neurotypical or not). From what I understand, autism has one caracteristic which is a lack of theory of the mind (I am aware that basing the whole definition of autism on this is very carricatural and incorrect). I also want to preface that I personally do not think that all autists lack empathy, I think it is harmful to the discussion to think only this. When I mention theory of mind, by that I mean something more like "Autistic people cannot lie", "Autistic people cannot recognise a lie", "Autistic people do not understand irony or sarcasm" (although as I have said before, it is incredibly caricatural, and I'd even go as far and say that it is quite infantilising on my part.)
The reasons I am explaining this (or at least how I have viewed autism up to this point) is because I need some insight on a situation I have been through, and I hope some autistic anons could maybe help me understand a bit better: did I have the wrong assumptions to begin with? was I the asshole from the start?
I will explain now. I became friends with a moid (I believe that him being a moid definitely impacted the situation). This moid has confided in me that he was autistic, I did not see it as a problem as I have talked to autistic people before and have had autistic friends (all female). I remember when he told me about his autism it was incredibly hard for him to accept this part of his diagnosis and I tried to tell him that it is okay and that he wasn't any less "normal" to other people and that my feelings of friendships will not change towards him simply because I learned he was autistic. (I do have to say, "friendships" with moids lol).
The reason we were friends was because we shared a common interest, which involved creativity and lots and lots of work. We were both involved in a project together and I enjoyed working with him, we have created a lot of things together and it was very fun. He did always try to claim that it was all "his" stuff but I did not mind at the time because I was too caught up in having fun creating. The friendship was bumpy though, he talked to me everyday and it did end up being exhausting for me. He forced me to voice call him everyday, and when I told him I did not want to, he said he needed it because he is autistic and that it is was part of his routine (and if you distrupt the routine of an autistic person it can make them extremely anxious and even give them panic attacks). And I did not want to cause him pain so I forced myself to carry on and keeping on interacting with him (maybe I should have standed up for myself a little? but he kept blaming everything on his autism…). One day I had to go on vacation, and I couldn't always be available to keep participating in the project. I remember he demanded me to keep creating, and I ended up promising him I will do "one creation a day" so that he wouldn't get angry or something like that. So I took time out of my vacations to keep doing these for him. I feel a bit stupid about this now to be honest. He also wanted to keep voice chatting with me, even when other people were present in my room, he kept insisting and I told him I simply can't but he would keep on insisting. He knew my sleeping pattern. He would text me exactly around when I would wake up. Sometimes I told him I went to sleep earlier so that I could have the night for myself which made me wake up later in the morning. He'd pick up on that and ask me if I lied about going to sleep early. He kept demanding me to do things. When I had enough I straight up told him I want to stop and that it isn't fun anymore, etc etc. He'd use very sad discord emojis and start blaming himself. This made me feel so guilty for even speaking up. I know he was trying to guilt trip me but he kept saying he was autistic and that he did not understand. I really believed this guy wouldn't hurt me, because I genuinely thought he simply did not realise he was being toxic because of his autism. I have completely cut contacts with him thankfully. Another thing about this man, that I should have prefaced again is that he has been pretending to be female to get closer to women (and still does to this day). He even has a female voice actress for him so that he can fool more people. I'm just too sad and exhausted. He tries so hard to get pity points. For example: I have a friend that vented to him about a situation she has. And a few days later he'd start telling everyone that he has a situation that is oddly similar to my friend's to gain pity points. He tries so hard to be a "not like the other guys". He is like a typical male feminist, and says that "at least I do not hate women" or "all my friends are female" which is tiring and disgusting because he himself pretends to be female to others. But as I said, I have cut ties with this guy completely, so did my friend. We have also told some other people about him pretending to be female in hopes others will start to be cautious too and that the word will spread among the community. At least so that it becomes a rumor or something…
I also want to say. This man has a following, he has a fandom (almost). If I would reveal who he is he would know who made the post. He has used me to get himself a following. A lot of the things he has posted were created by me (by his request, but still). I never wanted to be credited honestly since I always wanted to stay anonymous but seeing him gain popularity on things which were basically made by me, or my ideas or stuff like that sort of makes me a bit frustrated and angry. At the begining of the project we were BOTH anonymous, this is also why I never wanted a credit. But then for some reason he started to want to "own' everything so now everything done by me is technically his now. Sometimes I am credited and sometimes I am not, he simply claims stuff as his. Thankfully not all of his posts are my things (or things of mine he has recycled) but he has still used it to push himself to somewhat of a level of popularity. Do I even have the rights to complain? No only does he use my work to get popular, he pretty much used the work of some other artist, I tried really hard to convince him to credit the artist (and he did thankfully even though he now burried the credit on some other website and not on his main page) + now he has tweaked the art a little bit and considers it to "not be the artists art anymore because the lineart does not fully align anymore" even though it still obviously fucking is. I wish I could show you exactly what I'm talking about but I can't without him knowing who this post comes from.
Considering how much he blamed his toxicity on autism. It makes me wonder: can autistic people manipulate? No actually; can autistic moids manipulate? is he manipulative because he is a moid? can autistic women be manipulative too? is his toxicity simply toxic masculinity? or honestly… is he even autistic to begin with?! I'm sorry for this long ass post.
Tall girls feels (tgf) thread
A thread for all the tgf
>clothes don't fit right
>don't actually look like a model unless I have a BMI below 16
>never get asked out by guys
>see all my petite friends get asked out all the time
>height is always a target for bullying
>cannot wear sneakers or high heels without looking like an NBA player
>automatically get chosen for sports teams, which I don't like
Does anyone else find masculinity by itself disgusting and vile?
I feel like masculinity is used to manipulate, control, intimidate and make you feel completely and utterly numb. Masculinity by definition is just ugly. Its what men are attracted to and not women.
Not even counting all the things toxic masculinity is responsible for. Jesus christ masculinity by itself is gross to me.
I apologize for the lobster. I actually think the lobster is really cute in comparison
shit normies say
>Why do you never talk?
How do I know if a man sees me as an object?
Seperatists dni.
What was the moment you realized you dindn't like your SO or friend anymore?
I have nothing to do
I have 2 months until Uni starts and I have nothing to do. I wake up and spend 12 hours online every single day. I don't have a job and my town doesn't offer many activities so I feel stuck. I literally have nothing to live for outside of school besides a few hobbies, and I barely enjoy watching media these days. What should I do?
How can I know if my crush likes me?
We have known each other for 6 months but I started having a liking in him about 3 months ago.
Idk there's something special about this man like he is so funny without even trying, also inteliggent in various things and I love those traits.
He always tries to help me with things and genuinely wants me to be better at them, not like some other guys who make fun of u if u aren't immediately good at stuff..
Also he never is rude to me which he is to basically everyone else like he never even said one bad thing to me even when he was seemingly stressed at stuff
I wanna figure out if he likes me or if its just platonic also yeah I'm extremely dumb at figuring out things by myself so any help is extremely appreciated
Has your personality changed substantially during Covid?
I hate living in unprecedented times but I more hate how it's changed me as a person in the last few years. I like myself less now than before 2020 even if I'm getting more done creatively and have cut out some shitty toxic friends.
My relationship with my fiance has been emotionally rocky sometimes but we're trying to keep each other above water. If you have an SO, have you also had more fights or arguments than before 2020 hit?
Halp
How can I make this guy that I like want to talk to me again?
I met him on a game,he quickly started talking to me first and showed an nterest in me and my life also asking very detailed questions which nobody has done before,but I think I was too much of a retard and I think he got bored of me or something cause I wasn't showing too much interest idek.How can I make him want to talk to me again without actually talking to him
I would never text first even if my life depended on it cause I would never handle it if he didn't respond
Should I write her a letter? Would this be creepy?
3 years ago at a summer job I made friends with a girl that had similar interests to me. We only hung out a few times but seemed to have a connection and had good conversations. I was too shy to ask her if she wanted to hang out more before we went our separate ways. Maybe she just didn't want to be friends and that's why she never reached out, but it's very possible she was also too anxious to ask. She seemed kind of autistic too. Recently, I finally mustered up the courage to shoot her a facebook message but found that she deleted her facebook. She doesn't own a phone or have any other social media. The one thing I do have is her home address I acquired with a quick google search of her name, no heavy stalking needed. I am debating on whether or not it would be too weird to send her a letter. I obviously don't want to come off as a stalker and make her uncomfy. Would it be extremely creepy? What do you think?
J, I would like to have tea with you again on the astronomical chance you are a miner.
I wanna die
I just feel like a piece of shit and a retard all the time, like the world is too much for me to take in and I can't even take the little steps to get the basics of my life in order. Everything is too hard to take in and the only reason I don't completely give up on trying is because I hate myself for being this way, but I can't actually get better, and I'm drowning.
The things I am most "accomplished" at I am barely accomplished at because I haven't been able to focus or care about them constantly enough to actually be accomplished. I say I need to live because its really pathetic I don't even have that much to show for myself.
I live in a trash hole, my room is awful. Its covered in most of my belongings and years of trash, I think I have mice but I can't bring myself to clean.
Leaving my room is awful though because the outside world, even just the common room where my family is, is just too abrasive.
I constantly am on edge and snap on everyone, which makes me hate myself more for being such a fucking bitch.
I wanna die. I have a bf who is dependant on me, but he is 800 miles away and we see eachother 2 times a year at best. And I know one day its gonna fall apart because I'm a piece of shit.
I just wanna die at this point but arranging things in my life in order not to cause my family more grief post death is too much. Maybe I can do it by the end of this summer. I don't know but I'm tired of being here because everything is so hard
My rambling is probably unreadable so props to you if you were able to decipher it, I'm half asleep and just need to vent or something
I forgot to empty out the jar of water from my air conditioner and it overflowed and soaked the floor around my bed. I fucking hate summer, fuck this trash season. If I'm ever rich I'm going to have a summer home in New Zealand so I can live in winter all year round.
When people talk about their exes
If your SO or someone you're interested in keeps talking about their ex, is it a turn off? How much is too much? Where do you draw the line personally? I could bring up specific examples but I suppose there's a few different ways/contexts that the ex could be brought up so I figured I'd keep it more open to just to hear what you think.
can i keep my bf without sex
i feel dirty every time we have intimate time together. i get anxious and i force myself to keep going. anyone had that problem? were you able to work this through? does it seem impossible for me to have this relationship and my dignity?
Does anyone wanna be friends? I want friends who are like me but i cant find anyone like me irl and im feeling alone thought maybe id have better luck here!
On living together pre-marriage
Why do so many women nowadays agree to live with their boyfriend before getting married? This post isn't as much directed at those with no interest in marriage, but particularly girls who move in with a moid hoping he'll propose later. Still, I've met women who previously didn't care about marriage, but wanted it later when it became embarrassing to still be "the girlfriend" after buying a house together and even having kids.
Living unmarried with a moid only ever benefits him and never the woman - and they know it. I think women are selling themselves short when they agree to such an arrangement. Literally the reason he hasn't popped the question is because he thinks (consciously or not) that he can still do better, and is keeping you around for easy companionship until he meets someone else he wants to commit to. If a man wants to marry you, YOU WILL KNOW IT, he will not string you along with a carrot on a stick for years.
Throughout my dating life, I weeded out SO many dudes when I told them I refused to live together premarriage. They didn't like it? They fucked off and didn't waste my time. When I started dating my now-husband, I again made my intentions clear. He was totally fine with it, and proposed after a year and a half. He's amazing and treats me like gold.
A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend for his commitment issues. The guy moved across the fucking country to live with her. They had a 3-year relationship, yet he somehow couldn't even DISCUSS marriage, saying it made him uncomfortable. Turns out he didn't actually see her as wife material and just didn't want to be alone. I have another friend who has had at least 3 live-in boyfriends and wonders why she's still unmarried in her mid-30s.
I've only had ONE friend who lived with her boyfriend and ended up marrying him. The rest were unhappy, broken up, or in a constant state of waiting. Men already hold this shitty "power" over us by being the expected gender to propose. Why give them more power by agreeing to live with them first? If money is an issue, just get a roommate, it's more worth it than the hell of not feeling good enough.
Why do we always have to follow the US?
(I'm not sure if this breaks the "no politics" rule. If it does, feel free to remove it, I just needed to rant)
I don't live on the US and I hate how everything the US does, we (my country) have to do, anything the US thinks is progressive, we have to think it's progressive. Both on the internet and irl. Isn't like my country the best precisely, but at least we didn't have some stupid US things until recently, no matter what is, everything from the US ends up leaking to here and the government happily takes it, along with the rest of citizen who just have to assume it.
On the internet I kind of can understand it since most if not all huge websites were created on the US, but now every corner of the world uses them and usamericans still think we don't exist, and when they remember us, is to think of us as underdevelopeds who need the US' guidance. And after making us learn about all their customs, politicians, states, culture etc etc they have the nerve to go "but we don't have money to travel/the school didn't taught us about other countries, that's why I thought you were from the US/thought you were making [normal thing in my country] up". We don't learn that on school neither, and yet we know other countries exist. And we don't make them assimilate mine.
And other things like US' hyper individualism, and other dumb cultural stuff are leaking over here too. Even if you only follow people from other countries you still get US politics shoved down your throats, just less often.
I wish this stayed just on the internet, but as I said even the government is acting like whatever the US wants us to act…
Isolated because I'm weird and weird because of prolonged isolation… My only hope is that someone someday feels enough empathy to want to hang out in spite of it, but people don't feel empathy, they feel pity, which is the socially acceptable way of feeling superior.
How do you beat loneliness when living alone?
I moved out to my own apartment a few months ago. Currently I only live with my rabbit, which I love lots, I have no partner and neither I visualize getting one anytime soon (I'm ugly, have no social skills and haven't met a single lesbian irl yet).
At first I was happy, I could have my own room, decorate how I want, finally started feeling like productive adult… But now it's driving me insane.
Even on days I spent outside hanging out with friends, coming home to absolutely no one is terrible.
One of my friends is too busy and the other has a baby girl, so neither can come over often, texting/videochat is nice but doesn't feel the same (and again, they're busy), watching streams is one sided & robotic, I love my bunny but she can't reply back, getting roommates is a no-no because it's my house and I don't want to feel like living on a college dorm again..
Sometimes I regret moving out my parents' house… I didn't talk with them or with my sister often, but at least I arrived after work and I could say hello to someone, I could complain and talk, and just hearing sounds of someone being there was comforting.
Is there anything I can do? Will I get used to it eventually? I deliberately picked the smallest apartment I could find for this reason, so the house felt less empty even if there's only one person living on it, but it didn't work
I'm tired of being poorfag
I've, kinda been hiding this from my frens and my fiance, idk why really, maybe because I'm worried people will try to like, help me and that'd make me really uncomfortable
but uhh, I moved back in with my mom, a few days after, my fiance going back to America and my friend dying on the same day
basically uhh, was curled up in a ball doing not much other than crying and drinking for a week, and in that time, I missed some very important opportunities relating to my work, and I'd just had two very expensive months and was already strugling, and after that, I basically figured out that I was probably going to have to start dipping into my savings if I don't go home
my stepdad, died (good riddance) a few months ago and my mom's been living at my grandma's, two bedroom appartment, with my half sister, and the four of us are in here, and it's uhh, not really ideal
I'm gonna be fine as soon as I can find work but this last month has been kinda hard and these next few months probably will be the same
I've been spending what little disposable income I have on the vineer of not being poor, bought my fiance a £60 vinyl record a few days ago
the main thing is, I'm probably not going to be able to visit my fiance for.. a pretty long time, longer than I thought, and that's agonizing for me, he's been pretty much the only thing keeping me going for the last year
idk why I'm posting this ig I just want it off my chest
>local grocery has no more eggs
>half of shelves are empty
>I could't find MILK the other day. MILK.
>friends bf says he is not driving because gas is expensive
>meanwhile, government is talking about WORLD WAR FUCKING THREE
>all the while America turns into some bizarre mormon/puritan dystopia
What the fuck is going on? Is it seriously gonna collapse? Should I start listening to advice from nazi radio hosts that talk all day about the sexual orientation of local amphibians and idk live in a bunker? Are we just gonna starve?
Never been attracted to a man irl
Does any other anon have this problem? I have never found a single guy I met irl attractive, they're almost all super repulsive to me.
Even the guys I was involved with romantically were only ok in my book and it was their personality that drew me in but I don't want to tolerate that anymore. The only men I'm attracted to are bishies and pretty boy models with soft features and nice hair. Some actors too before they start looking like gremlins from all the coke (pic rel).
Meanwhile even if I do find a guy with a pretty face he's ALWAYS fucking balding and I can't deal with that, it's like a goddamn curse. I remember the last guy I was with and even before things got bad I was still dissatisfied because he didn't visually live up to my expectations and it felt awful. Seeing ugly men makes me angry, opening a dating app never ceases to make me seethe. And when I see ugly moids with decent/good looking girlfriends? The rage which falls on me is indescribable.
How do I cope with that? besides looking at plastic kpop boys and cute models
How to grow self esteem
I am a person who works out every single day, takes care of her appearance plenty of times a day yet I catch myself in situations that hurt me due to having no self esteem whatsoever. For example I can't stop thinking about a guy who hasn't texted me back since our first date and who cancelled our second date at the same day. I know that I don't deserve to be treated like that but I still can't help but feel sad. I'd appreciate suggestions that help deal with self worth and confidence. Therapy and self help books don't seem to work.
i love my boyfriend so much. however. he always looks like a mess when were in public. his hair is always a tangled and messy and all over the place. (he has longish hair). dont get me wrong somtimes it looks really nice, but for the most part he looks like he just rolled out of bed. i feel so guilty because im embarssed to be seen with him. im a conventionally attractive woman and i put a lot of effort into my appearance, i wish he would do the same. how can i convince him to put more work in without seeming like a bitch? im afraid to say anything because itll come across as shallow.
>be me
>loser woman
>0 online friends i speak privately to, 0 irl friends, almost no social media
>only leave house to go to and from part time job
>am miserable, hate my family, have 0 self esteem, and severe body image issues
>meet man online from a different country through image boards
>we get along well, chat daily, have much in common
>we develop feelings for each other
>he is very sweet and romantic, makes me feel good about myself
>make plans to meet
>he books a cozy apartment in my city for us to stay in for a few weeks
>we meet and everything is great
>i really love him, feel like ive found my purpose and chance at happiness
>plan a longer visit where i come to his country
>currently living with him
>a few days ago i was using his laptop (with his informed consent)
>couldnt figure out how to type an @ symbol with his foreign keyboard, was fucking around with commands
>his downloads folder accidentally opened
>am instantly flooded with disgusting bbc splitscreen porn webms (he is white)
>one had a tranny
>the only normal looking porn was with a chubby woman (i am skinny)
>instantly feel sick
>he promised to me before that he didnt watch porn and only masturbated to me
>end up crying all night without telling him why, not wanting to talk to him because of how disgusted i am with him
>we go to bed
>he sleeps but i’m up all night with a pit in my stomach
>at 6am i end up waking him up and asking him why he lied to me about watching porn
>he only cries and says sorry, promises his porn usage wasn’t frequent and refers to it as a “relapse”
>havent been able to see him the same both because of how he lied to me and what kind of porn he was watching
>i’ve been trying to act normal around him but i have to fend off waves of anger and disgust towards him many times daily
>feel like my life is ruined
>considering suicide again
Living life as a dysphoric woman
Bit of a vent thread but oh well..
Everywhere I look it's "women need to be femmine" "if you are masculine you are trans" "what happened to all the REAL women" "you need to transition to feel better" and so on. I grew up in a family where women were seen as subhuman, i was abused by my dad and uncle my uncle would always tell me at a young age that I'll never get anywhere without a man. My grandfather tells me that "your not allowed to talk when MEN are talking, im talking to your boyfriend" in regards to our house, i lashed out at him. Idk im just sick of these gender binaries we have and it's really impacting me and making me hate being a woman and want to transition even though it goes against my beliefs. Help
detrans femcel hell
I trooned myself when I started college and post-grad I hate myself for thinking I was moid-brained. I chopped off my tits but didn't do hrt, so I just present and pass as a masculine woman. I don't even miss my boobs but holy shit, I mutilated myself when I was a mentally ill teenager and no one questioned it. I'm permanently fucking mutilated. I'm peak femcel now because no one (men or women) finds mastectomy scars sexy. I look like a fucking female eunuch. I can't forgive myself for being so retarded.
I'm so tired of this
I'm so tired that every time when I go to my friend she's always showing me some stupid tiktoks or scrolling on instagram. I came to your house to talk to you, do something productive together, watch a movie, do silly things, go outside, just watch the sky without talking, but oh well she is always on that fucking tiktok or whatever social media she's on. This also happens whenever I go outside with my neighbors, instead of actually enjoying our time together, they're on their cells, sometimes on the curb, sometimes while walking, and whenever I try to talk to these people, propose something, ask for something, they're saying : yeah, while being absorbed by whatever it's on the phone. At fucking least raise your head and pay attention please. Gosh. I just wanna have fun and laugh and feel good with these people, but sometimes I just can't. :/
I hate how much of a man I wanna look more feminine I am 5ft6 and 120 pounds I tried following my brothers advice and eating more soy but all it did was make me fatter
i hate my life
Depressed about being in university too long
I started uni 4 years ago for a bachelors, but because I changed my minor and general laziness I'll need 2 more years to actually graduate.
I feel so depressed and anxious about my future, I was supposed to be done after 3 years, but while everyone I know is out looking for their first real job or going on vacation before their masters I'm still stuck here.
I feel like a failure and despite them saying otherwise I feel like I'm disappointing my family.
By the time I graduate I'll be years behind my peers and I don't know how to deal with that.
How do you forgive
If you feel deeply betrayed by what society has become, and the people in it… but also lost a lot of friends to death or overdose, insanity or idiocy… how do you go back to wanting to be a part of society and looking for healthy whatever? how do you stop walling yourself off? Is it even a good idea ? I never relate to anyone, and never get attracted to anyone. It is so rare I do not even bother. I began to shut people out a lot. I do not know how to communicate in any meaningful way because the way I feel is impossible to explain. I feel extreme unhappiness. When I'm around people I feel even more empty and alone. I don't know the solution but I'm fixing to become a Supreme cynic, like in every way a person can. Again talk about anything, I just write it all down and tune people out but I really don't know what normal is supposed to belike at this rate
Why do I exist
Why do i exist if I never feel attraction to anyone (extremely rarely) ( men disgust me 99% of the time)? Why if all of my friends have died, or become drug addicted, suffered some kind of life-debilitating overdose…completely trooned out or became extreme religious nuts I hardly relate to ?.. I have to ask why am I alive? I am afraid of seeking out friends after these experiences, the friends I did have were rare and something horrible happened or on the other hand, people disgust me. I dont WANT to find out how nuts they are.
I get SO used to being alone. Family doesn't communicate and I genuinely don't know how to communicate with them. The only thing that makes me feel is creative work and I will die on that hill because everything else makes me steeply steeply depressed or numb.
I'm usually so thrilled and excited to work it's all I do. So I feel through work, and tune out everything. At least it's better than relating to no one. I'm impossible to get close to. It didn't used to be this way. I don't do journaling for anyone but myself. I feel extremely betrayed by patriarchal society. I cannot and i wont rejoin society because its filthy to me and hurts unfathomably. I simply do not understand how other women walk around.
Sometimes I snap out of writing and want someone to relate to, but I know that's an insane thing to hope for. It is a steep problem. I ignore everything.. go to work… continue social isolation since I see no way out. But I'm also very good at this. So I do it more.
Why do I exist?
"Cope"
I'm unable to understand what it is to cope. I don't get it. Yes, I understand the definition of the word, but I don't understand how people use it.
I could see "coping" with a busy schedule. I could see "coping" with an overbearing boss. I can't understand what "coping" with death, loss, violence, etc means. What are people saying when they say these things?
I feel somehow inadequate that I can't grasp something that is evidently ordinary. What is it I am missing?
I wanna kill myself. No one cares because I’m not thin and attractive. I don’t have any family that cares about me. If I died tomorrow my mom would use it as an excuse to drink and for people to pity her. My dads life wouldn’t change at all. My step dad who raised me and my step siblings probably wouldn’t even know. My extended family would make jokes about it or fake sincerity. I don’t have any friends anymore. I have my dogs and that’s all. I feel so lonely and I don’t wanna feel like this anymore nonas.
I just turned 18 so i can finally post on here.
I'm curious what u would want to tell yourself or someone else if u were my age?
Songs that make you feel
Was looking for a certain song on youtube but instead randomly came across vid attached. It's been a long time since I heard it and listening to it again after all this time, it's a little embarrassing to admit since 70s soul isn't really considered all that hip and the title makes it obvious why I'd be struck but it made me cry.
>tfw no qt guy will ever serenade you with this song
Anyways, as the title says, share those songs that make you feel.
How do I cope with being a shitty person?
Hi, I hate myself. I have nothing good to say about myself. I've gotten so insecure that I constantly judge other people in my head to cope with my insecurities. I tried to work on my insecurities, but I ended up just having a mental breakdown after 18 months. My therapist says that my insecurities are a part of my personality, and that no matter how hard I try, I can never change my personality. The only thing that's valuable about me is my boyfriend who thinks I'm a great person. I think it's just a matter of time before he realizes what I piece of shit I am and leaves me. What do?
How am I supposed to find a guy who would like staying inside all day and every weekend playing games and watching youtube?
I dont want to have to say "i love you" or go out on dates, ever.
Dont say discord, they either wont believe you are biologically female or they'll all change their personalities to try to get nudes+attention.
I'm tired of being around women
I'm tired of being around women. It's depressing, boring, heartbreaking. Every female space I go, it's all the same: discussion of abusive relationships, unquestioned heterosexuality, "beauty" tips, self-loathing, gossip, bitterness, and well-accepted hopelessness.
Women talk about how ugly, inappropriate, fat, and revolting they are. It's so, so boring. They talk about fashion and make-up and the moral implications of either. They view the world like a movie where they're both the director and the starting actress, carefully planning every move and choosing every angle in order to create magic. If I'm uglier than she is, she'll look at me with pity and try to "improve". If I'm prettier than she is, she'll look at herself, then at me, then at herself again, and she will compare us, letting me know how my existence is a threat to her sanity.
Most, if not all, the conversations I have with women don't pass the Bechdel test. They talk about their men, and how much they hate these men, and how miserable their lives are by their side. They'll spend hours complaining about male behavior, and will not have the self awareness to realize that they can live without them. I'm tired of seeing them wear themselves out for some being that I see as so below me I don't even waste time considering, let alone allow him to take over my life. He's ugly and a loser, he's boring and stupid. Are they all blind? Am I going crazy? Can we shut up about these men and talk about anything else?
I want to discuss my hobbies and the things I learn and the things that shape my world, and yet all of it gets derailed and frowned upon. I keep getting affected by the venomous conversations most women have. They all make me feel like I'm too much or too little, as if I'm some failed subhuman parody of a woman. They don't listen to me, they just enforce their authority on womanhood to try to correct who I am.
Whenever I talk to another woman, I find my mind filled by self-hatred, vanity, obsession, and resentment. If I ever bring this up, I get shut down as a "NLOG" and "not feminist enough". Well, then I don't want to be a feminist if feminism means uncritical consumption, holding women to impossible standards while praising men over the bare minimum, sexism, male supremacy, shallowness, and hostility. That's not feminism to me, that's just using the "women must support each other" in order to avoid change.
Why is it wrong if I tell her I find centering your life around beauty devoid of meaning shallow, but it's okay and even rightful if she insults me for not spending thousands in my appearance? Who's holding the status quo here?
I hope my point doesn't come across as "I'm better than other women." That's not it. Rather, "patriarchy and their enablers are wearing me down."
>Do you talk to yourself?
>How often and why?
I talk to myself constantly- even in public sometimes. It's because of some stupid psychosis that makes me think there are people watching me who need explanations for every little thing I do and think. It's also because I'm lonely.
What red flags have you seen in relationships?
high body count rant
My boyfriend of one year is really nice, i love him a lot and he loves me back. I really really like his personality but the thing i despise the most about him is his body count, i know it's unreasonable and mental to be upset about it but i feel like he's kind of choosing me out of no other choices.
it's not an astronomical number (5) but by how he told me his first time was i just felt disappointment and kind of disgusted.
I am an open person but i have the mentality of saving myself for the one i feel the most connected to so having a partner with that number feels wrong…
doesn't help that sometimes he says something that really icks me, the last time i saw him we where cuddling and talking about sex, and he said "yeah i miss it (fucking), can't wait to do it with you" at the time i brushed it off but now i keep thinking about it and i was thinking about talking with him about this thing he said…i might be exaggerating but i'm literally loosing sleep on this…
>be 16 with undiagnosed bpd
>fp is some guy i met in middle school
>cannot fucking fathom a day without a message with him or a week without being with him
>hes creeped out
>he abandons me
>suicide attempt number 5 or smth
>6 years pass
>has been stalking him
>has been having dreams about him
>has not had a day where i havent thought about him at least once
>decide to dm him on twitter to try and "patch things up"
>im just insane and at my breaking point, need my fp content
>hes cool with talking to me and maybe even meeting up when i visit our hometown
>he used to be the funniest guy i knew
>his only friends since abandoning me all those years ago are white queers that talk like fucking 9gag users
>hes a fucking normalfag now
what the fuck do i do i just wasted like 10 fucking years lamenting over some dude that ended up getting fucking watered down by time im so fucking mad oh my god i hate it here
advice / help
this might be long, but i rly need advice on something that has basically consumed my life for the last few years. any help or anything would be appreciated, i've never told anybody about anything regarding this so i hope this will also be cathartic for me
ill start at the beginning: for basically my entire childhood up until like middle school, i had a really good relationship with my dad. we would basically never argue or fight or anything (most of the time, there were some times where i would act up and he would do stuff like make me look for orphanages in a phonebook because he said he would put me up for adoption), i did okay in school but got in trouble once in a while, things were basically just peachy. until i started puberty. it started with little things, like he would yell at me over random things, get really agitated, and started slapping/hitting me in my face as well as threatening to spank me. it was really gradual, taking place from when i was like 12 up to when i was around 16-17. things got worse and worse, to the point where it went from i was always happy around him to i would actively dread being around him. the older i got, the more he liked to touch and hit me as well. in 8th/9th grade, my grades were slipping pretty badly and i was getting in trouble at school a lot, and it got to the point where basically every day he would force me to sit on the couch so he and my mom could yell at me until i cry, then send me to my room to do nothing but homework until i fell asleep. if i ever tried to talk back to him or even try arguing with him, he wouldnt hesitate to just stand up and hit me and scream at me at the top of his lungs.
in like 8th grade, i was given a school therapist for something like adhd/depression/anxiety (its been so long, i cant remember exactly) and it felt like i could finally open up to someone about how i felt while being, in her words, "completely confidential" (didn't really have any friends, and it's not like its easy to open up to other ppl in middle school). i told her that i didnt like how my parents would find any excuse to be mad and yell at me and i missed how my relationship with my dad was when i was a kid. the therapist seemed like she actually wanted to find solutions and help me, so after the first session with her i felt pretty awesome about the future. i never ended up having a second session with her for reasons unknown, and it turns out she immediately told my parents what i told her because my dad quoted something i had said to her and used it as a reason to yell and hit me after school later that week.
once i was in high school, my family was more chaotic. my older half-sister, who is 8 yrs older than me and was basically my sister since we lived together when we were younger, cut off contact with my parents and didn't really talk to me (we were never really close, so idk). additionally, along with the regular yelling and stuff, my dad started randomly slapping/pinching/grabbing my butt pretty frequently whenever we were doing something alone (like going grocery shopping or him picking me up from a friends house or something). i never said anything about it to anybody, because every time he did it, i was petrified and couldn't even react or vocalize anything. i knew if i made a scene or tried to get him to stop, he would just yell at me and my mom would side with him. i became more and more of a recluse, and showed less and less emotion or feeling towards anything, which seemed to work to get him to stop paying as much attention to me.
it eventually came to a head in october of 2018, when we had a large power outage due to storms in the area. my mom was out doing something, and it was just me and him alone at our house. for the few months prior to october, things were better than they had been for years. i was willing to put things aside if it meant i could just have a dad who loved me, and i could love him back. but i guess he was in a really bad mood that night, because he said something that i thought was dumb and i laughed at it. he immediately put on the most angry face ive ever seen on him, and stood up and immediately slapped me in the face. then, he started saying things like "i dont know why you havent killed yourself yet" and "im not required by law to love you". it was like my body turned to freezing ice and i felt the worst i have ever felt in my life. he kept yelling at me until he got tired of it, and i got up and went to my room and just buried myself in my bed crying. when my mom came home, she told me "we'll discuss this in the morning" and i went to sleep hoping finally that my mom would realize that my dad is fucking insane and would help me. when i woke up, my mom called me into the living room, and they both yelled at me and forced me to say a long apology to my dad for "hurting his feelings" or something like that. it was like torture. as soon as that was over, it was like all connection to my parents had just severed in an instant. even though i still lived with them, i didn't talk to them for months, and when I did started talking to them, it was only in single word responses like "yes" or "no". and that's how i still am to them today, i will go to extents to not talk to them or interact with them in any way, and will a lot of the time ignore them if they try to talk to me. it seems to work well, because my dad doesn't really yell at me or touch me anymore since ive graduated, so i guess its worth it.
the issue is that i am very socially inept and don't really have any skills, so holding a job or moving out or anything like that is very difficult to me. so even though i want to cut them out of my life completely, i dont really have any opportunities to. i just want to get out of here, but i cant. i don't really know any of my other family members, either, so i dont really have anyone to turn to for help
in a relationship with someone that "hates all men, i know how they think and it's disgusting, i dont trust them" yet they're a man themselves and thinks that it's bad to say that someone dislikes men because "leftists"
i don't trust them, therapy and meds isn't enough, i've tried many different options but still i am empty and don't know shit
how do i cope with this world and myself, i should be happy that i'm conventionally attractive and that people like me but yet nothing is enough
why
i try to listen to him and know him better but the only questions he asks me are a way to test me. he never asks about what i enjoy and what i know, when he asks me a question its about something he already knows to see if i know it as well. its like a fucking quizz. and when i try to talk about my hobbies its useless. when i talk he chats with someone else. i ask questions, im genuinely interested about him, his opinions, what he likes but he just DOES NOT. its like im a fucking robot to him. im just like hey im a person i want to know you and i want you to know me. but no, he wont give me that and when i think maybe i shouldnt wait for him to try, it doesnt work because he doesnt listen and eventually goes off to do something else. WHY? he's nice in everything else, EVERYTHING. but when it comes to act like im a human he's OFF. WHY
Nostalgia General
What eras and aesthetics make you feel like you're in your happy place? Recently I'm missing the pastel goth and vaporwave era of tumblr.
Coworker Hate Thread
Vent about your annoying coworkers. I'll start:
>constantly sniffles and doesn't blow her nose
>when she answers the phone, her speaking voice becomes a yelling voice for literally no reason and i can hear her from across the office
>answers the phone by my desk one day, and i had to stop myself from covering my ears in front of her because she was yelling so loudly.
Fucking why.
Pornsickness
I became addicted to extreme pornography when I was a preteen. I was also heavily involved in porn-centric communities online up until last year. It fucked up my brain. I have explicit sexual thoughts running in my brain, against my will, all the time. I’m a virgin at 30 because exposure to hardcore porn made me terrified of sex. I can also only get off to rape fantasies. I avoid porn nowadays and I also tried therapy, but it hasn’t really helped.
Anyone in the same situation? How do you even deal with this?
how to consume less
I'm not poor so I'm not in need or in urgency
but these few months i found myself spending more money without really knowing why. more than 1000 euros per month
i wouldnt care as much if it werent for my family, they wont know unless I tell them but I feel like im betraying them by spending so much because i know they wouldnt be happy about it
im not good at keeping tracks, so trying to write down everything i buy probably wouldnt work. what can i try to stop myself from spending like im suckerberg (but hotter) ?
im thinking about trying to sell stuff instead for a beginning, that would make me money and keep me busy from spending ig. i have a lot of stuff i want to get rid of
>finally fall in love with a guy
>he’s gay
why? why are all the good ones fags?
is it my fault?
I have extreme social anxiety and can't talk to people at all. I've met this guy in my job, he seemed interested in me, we texted each other a lot and he talked with me all the time, even tho I just listened to him. I felt very comfortable with him and we shared a lot of the same interests, and he seemed to not be bothered by the fact that I can't talk, it was the first time I felt like I was not alone. It was all good until he started to act more intimate, and confessed he liked me for a very long time. I kinda knew that from the beginning and I quite liked him too, so we started dating. We could only communicate by text so I think it was a bit awkward for him, but he was all cheesy and wholesome to me so I thought it was ok. He even said he liked the fact that I was "shy". After a few weeks in, he started getting distant and ignoring me (he once mentioned that his ex started talking to him, that's probably one of the reasons I think) I asked him and he said that he's been feeling bad lately and that he doesnt know if he likes me as much as before, so it would be best if we distance ourselves. I'm feeling awful right now, I feel like I'm not able to show him how I feel or make him feel loved because of my social anxiety, and now he'll go away. Is it all my fault? I still love him deeply and don't know what to do. I'm scared of feeling all alone again. I told him I understand him and that I'll always be there for him if he ever changes his mind, but honestly I want to kill myself right now. He used to say I was all he ever wanted and that I made him feel good, this is all so sudden that it's making me panic. It hurts so much.
https://nypost.com/2022/03/07/virginia-couple-married-for-30-years-claim-theyve-never-argued/
I remember me and my bf saw this a few months ago and joked it would be like us and we'd never argue.
Now we argue practically every day because I cause fights for no reason every single day.
Idk what's wrong with me, I don't wanna be like this but I get so mad for reasons that don't make sense I can't help myself anymore. I really really hate that I grew up in the house that I did because I'm pretty sure I adopted all these behaviors from my parents who hate eachother's guts but "stay together for the kids" and grew up watching nasty and violent fights.
Its sad because for our whole relationship and those before him I was worried I'd turn into one of them and I genuinly didn't think I could live with myself if I ever heard my husband say the things he said to my mom to me, or if I said the things my mom said to my dad.
Now I'm literally seeing it happen and I wanna kill myself.
How do you unlearn this toxic crap?
>inb4 "its healthy to argue"
Yeah I know this is supposedly true, and I know arguments are unavoidable for 99.99999 percent of couples, its still not nice to have pointless and toxic arguments everyday
>inb4 "leave him"
No, I want to fix myself. If everyone dumped their partner every time they had a rough patch literally no one to be together. I'm not gonna listen to anyone who says this because more often than not its just paranoid and seething misandrists, so fuck off.
phone verification
goddamn. i hate how many apps these days lock you out of your account or prevent you from even signing up without a phone number.
it wouldn't be so bad if they weren't also knowledgeable about VoIP phone numbers and free online phone numbers and block those as well.
moids from your country
went to my first non english speaking imageboard and just couldn't take it
it wasn't anything I haven't expected or seen on 4ch but for some reason reading all this shit in my language made me irrationaly angry and disgusted
I already had a disdain towards scrotoids from my country but this just furthered it
ladies how do I unlearn this?
ik that not every moid is a retard posting on imageboards but I always seem prejudiced towards them anyway
the only scrotoids I've ever been able to form any connection with were foreigners (we have a lot of exchange students at my uni and I kinda want to talk to some of them for this reason)
Anyone else feeling hopeless about dying alone?
I'm a 27 year old woman who has had zero dating success. I've been on maybe 4-5 dates in my life and none ended up with a second date. Of those guys, 3 lied about their age and made themselves out to be younger than they were. I recently went on a date after years and it was the first time in my life that a man had called me beautiful. He later texted to me to ask for a second date and I was ecstatic to get a second date for the first time ever. Today, I decided to look him up and it turns out, he's 10 years older than what he told me (among a handful of other lies he said).
I'm feeling so hopeless and dejected. Any ladies come to terms with always being alone? All my friends and partnered up at this point and moving on with their lives while I'm stuck in the same place as always. I want to give up.
Does anyone else feel like all pastimes are lacking in something?
Every hobby or media I've tried just feels kind of empty, or it doesn't make me feel quite enough. There's exceptions but they're quite few and far between. I wouldn't even say I'm depressed but I'd definitely say I'm chronically dissatisfied cause i feel like i just can't enjoy anything. I'm slowly becoming a workaholic and all of my hobbies are basically just some form of work even though I don't care at all for money, but work is the only thing that makes me feel fulfilled. I always thought there was this one hobby waiting for me somewhere and once I'd find it I'd finally be like, oh yeah finally this is it, and focus on that 100%, but i don't think it exists anymore.
Vent Thread
Previous thread
>>74767
Post your woes and copes here sisters.
grandparents
just found out earlier that my grandpa was in the emergency room. he's been moved out of the ER, but he's still in the hospital, hooked up to all kinds of stuff.
we'd had plans with my grandma to go on a trip, all three of us. i haven't seen them in over a year.
i feel so cold and lonely. ive felt like this as long as i can remember. does it ever really end?
Night Time Thread
Night is a blessing and a curse. The comfiest time and emptiest time. What are you doing awake? Enjoying the quiet? Regrets eating at you?
Please only post if it's night time for you. Night requires a special haven.
how to tell if a guy is gay
My gaydar is broken and I'm horrible at telling if a guy's gay or not. I have a huge crush on a guy. For some reason I have this sinking feeling that he's not actually straight. I don't know him well enough to ask him, nor do I know anything about his dating history. I follow his ig and noticed he doesn't follow any pretty or hot girls which is kind of surprising to me. Are there any other subtle red flags for when a guy isn't straight?
I hate reading consoomers
I hate everything about the "reading" market. I hate how oversaturated it is. I hate how people only read cheap erotica (if they read at all mind you). I hate the covers. I hate everything about it. I am actually talented at writing and I try had but I will never get a chance to get anything published because it takes me thrice as long to research the setting of my short story to make sure it is as realistic while also having a unique storyline as possible, but instead I am beaten by the generic "Hello I am 14 year old Amy from China and I running away from factory life in China very bad I want emigrate to west!".
The first meaningful writing accomplishment I had as a kid was coming in 3rd place in some national-level writing competition, it was actually a great story for a kid and the idea was original too but the 1st place was given to some guy who wrote a generic "my mom has cancer lol" story. It makes me so angry. Everyone I talk to only reads such crap too, lotr, "what's his cat's name", sarah j mass…But then they tell me they are writing also with elementary-level reading skills and I wanna pretend like I am happy for them but really I just want to tell them to read first and stop flooding the market with crap. But why do I bother, they have a higher chance of getting published than I have :^)
sry i was originally gonna just write 2-3 sentences but it turned into a whole paragraph
Why are we here? Are we losers?
I like Crystal Cafe. I like reading its posts, and ever since I've discovered it, I come here every day.
But sometimes I'm wondering,
why am I here? Why do I keep coming back here? When did I fall into the crowd that browses imageboards? What type of person comes to these sorts of websites?
Earlier I was looking at 4chan, but I got sick of 4chan, and sometimes Tumblr doesn't do it for me, so now I come here.
I guess not all of us are down in the dumps. Some of you probably have a well paying job, good social life, live brilliantly, and are generally satisfied with life.
But from the way some people talk on here e.g. dunking on normies and neurotypicals, I get the feeling that a lot of us fall into one of the below catergories:
Socially awkward women. Isolated women. Those that got bullied at school. NEETs. Women having various issues one way for another. Women whose lives aren't going anywhere. Women waiting for a diagnosis, or diagnosed with something. Women who have suffered a lot.
I like there's a place for those types to congregate.
But I'm wondering, remembering all the classmates I know, seeing their social media, succeeding in life. Not even massive things, just basic adult things. And I'm not like that.
I think, "out of the classmates at school i knew, who would be the type to keep browsing a website like crystal cafe?"
There could be those people that seem like normies with true personalities they hide, but I bet if someone asked our cohort, they'd have definitely pointed to me. And possibly only me.
I was that "weird kid" constant loser all throughout school. Some people were scared of me. Some people found me stuck up and humorless, even though I love silly things. Some people found me funny, and fun to bully.
And now I'm here.
I know there's a whole bunch of other stuff in my life that was out of control, that set me back from my happier peers a lot,
but sometimes I feel like a total loser for being the type to find, and keep returning to this place. Those normie classmates of mine probably don't lead a life that would motivate them to find, and keep returning to this place.
Why are we here? Are we "losers"? I guess it's nice that there's a place for us, if we are losers. But don't you ever find it sad that we've possibly found ourselves in the "loser's club"?
How to have fun
Im not terribly imaginative at coming up with leisure activities, mostly I have my one girlfriend over and we drink, talk, and watch a show. What activities would you do if you had time, money, and a small group of friends you don’t know too well but would come on an outing if you were hosting?
Ace thread
How do asexual or sex repulsed nonas cope in a sex obsessed world where increasing numbers of people are making their entire identity about sex?
Can we have a wholesome thread?
Post memes, stories, anything uplifting. <3
how tf does anyone want a baby
>shits and pisses and vomits and you have to clean it
>loud
>ugly
>moid babies grow up to be addicted to porn and abusive
>normal girl babies just suffer because of the moids
whats the point, my brother and his gf (she works and hes at home ofc) have one and i fucking hate it and i hate the people who talk about how great having kids is
Does he love me or am I young
I'm still in hs and have been getting attention from older men recently (their age range being 22-35). So I started dating this one guy who's 6 years older than me and he's nice and all, buys me stuff, takes me out…
But how do I recognize whether he actually likes me for me and doesn't want me just because I'm young?
And another issue, I'm still a virgin and don't feel the need to hurry, he asks to have sex every time and I tell him no, but I feel like leading him on or that he'll be mad at me for doing so. I feel like men would judge me harshly in future relationships for not being a virgin/would make them less likely to marry me.
What attitude to have towards losing virginity? Saving yourself for marriage?
Anyone else's teachers think they're retarded?
Over the course of my last year of highschool, I completely gave up. I started just not interacting with anyone. I stopped doing all work that wasn't necessary for me to simply have a passing grade.
All year, for acting retarded, I basically got special treatment because I think people thought I actually had special needs they weren't told about?
For example, on a lot of group projects the teacher would pull me aside and just give me an alternate, independant assignment. Everyone else was hassled for failing to participate in things, yet I was not. Even right in front of me as I sat in the corner refusing to play sports for gym class, other classmates not participating would get grilled, yet they'd ignore me and just let me do my thing.
Multiple times doing "sports stations" in gym class you were supposed to get in a group to rotate around and play the various sports, such as badminton and volleyball. The teacher approached me and just told me I could do "whatever I was comfortable with" and I basically got to go to the weights room by myself.
When not doing my work teachers would harass other students. They'd just kindly ask me if I felt like participating.
Idk where I'm going with this, but did anyone else experience this? Its so funny to me that everyone thought I was stupid or something (even though I was in multiple higher level classes and score in the 95th+ percentile for all standardized tests, scores my teachers would look at so its not like they would think I was cognitively impaired). Sure, my teachers from the 1st semester would kind of hassle me, but only after acting more and more retarded to the point where I wasn't even ashamed of myself anymore did my teachers basically start babying me.
Its not like I'm ungrateful, I almost feel guilty, but I don't get it. What am I missing here??
Yes I am 18.
How not to fuck up
Nonas, I need some help.
I think I found a guy exactly my type, we've been talking for a while, everything is great. But I have this paralysing fear that I'm gonna do something stupid or run out of topics to talk. It's very bad, it makes me anxious to even talk to him. How to stop, how to keep it going? I really want a bf, never had one, so I'd be delighted if it worked out.
I’m so tired, i just failed a class of mine. I can retake it but it’s been hell since i don’t like college or the major i’m in. I have other dreams that 19 year old me dismissed. Wondering if i should just drop out. I can’t imagine a future. My brain is foggy. I can’t imagine myself working in an office job, people have always ignored and belittled me and i doubt anyone would hire me. I wish i could figure out a way to just make money. Nothing i do works out. I’m stuck in this cycle of pure confusion, all i have been taught in childhood and adolescence is some narcissist’s bullshit rants. That’s the tool i was given. Schizo rants. and now i’m learning how hard living in the world can be, i’m paying the price. This is such a stressful situation
Happiness
Do you live a mostly happy life?
If yes, how?
If no, why not?
I'm asking because I feel very lost and miserable recently. I wonder how happy most people are and what things make them happy, even with the world being like this. People who are mostly happy (I say mostly since nobody is happy 24/7) are the people I look up to the most. I wish I knew how to be happy too.
do you like traumacore?
Having nothing to say and not wanting to talk most of the time
How to psych myself out of this trap??
Eversince I can remember I am bored by most conversation. I don't understand why people talk so incessantly about crap. Because it's mutual..! I know people won't want to hear about whatever I'm doing or thinking or what's happening to me, unless they're a few close friends. I will listen to people if they talk to me, but I get none of the same enthusiasm returned. So i just I don't bother, don't really get fulfillment from it. But my god my god the fucking double standard !
At one point I decided I'd had it.
At work I never want to talk with anybody about myself which is so common among others. People just talk like it's breathing when they get the chance!! Why do they have no filter!? I talk if it's about work or about the other person. Like I'll listen a lot but I developed a huge wall because I'm a niche interst person. My life is very different
I just leave work hardly talking and this satisfies me. I wish sometimes people would stfu when they're in your face or loud ( mostly custmers) (unless they're funny then I love them)
I think it's my upbringing… My parents never talked with me about anything and you can't have chatty conversations with them oh my god they are really negligent in a way. I don't know if it rubbed off onto me but I'm really not up to it. Is anyone else like this or did anyone else learn a trick to get around it.
Yes I know I should fake it but then I feel absolutely ridiculous. I don't even know why I'm doing it. I hate pretending like I want to belong somewhere when I'm not genuinely into it, it feels ludicrous
Anyway it pisses some people off,even though I'm not trying to offend them. It follows me everywhere. Their attitudes are ridiculous. How thin skinned they are is ridiculous! I'm not about to explain it to them either though!!! It's not like i get of to it. It's like get off my case you neurotic, thin skinned, drama queen why the f do you even care what i have to say??? Since when has anybody??? F you
Is there a secret trick to living like this, lemme know
why was genetics so mean to me??
Ever since I remember i have been dieting, my pediatrician was obsessed with my weight and would put me on diets constantly, and this obsessing also transferred to my mother and uncles (because of course shes my medic, so she is the one who knows the best). And ever since that has been my life, i dont know other thing that excising and cheeking how many calories everything i eat has, and most convos with my family members end up about my weight (it has lessened lots with time, but it was terrible when i was a teen).
I have always been on the chubby side, but lucky never obese or harmful for my health (according to the medical papers at least) and i know i need to stay healthy, but i still think the way my pediatrician treated me was excessive, who makes a 4yo fast??? and even after all the different diets she gave me i never managed to be truly thin anyways, they help to lose weight, but i dont think i will be able to weight less than i do now even if i keep all the effort
And my sister? the only times she has ever moved was on the obligatory PE class when she was little, she eats sweets DAILY and never gains a ounce of weight!! She was and is all thin, she doesnt care about anything, makes no effort and always has a perfect body…..
This is not a hate post directed at her or anything, i'm just jealous. I wish i too could live without caring how fat everything will make me and spending my time on hobbies instead of running; I dont remember the last time i ate without guilt (and i 100% eat just because i still live with my parents, the second i start living alone i know i will stop eating or just eat the bare minimum to stay awake), it must be nice to live without caring about all that…
Even now that I'm at a normal weight I'm still like this because the second i stop measuring everything I eat or stop exercising im sure i will get overweight again, why is my body like this…
I know i need to stay healthy, but i wish i could be free of all that for at least a week and turn all that effort on something that makes me happy (and honestly, i dont even think im healthy now, crying almost every time you have lunch or dinner doesn't seem ideal…)
YWN have two cute boys fight over you so what’s the point
Tfw i have stopped wearing a pad everyday in case my periods come back cause they have been gone for so long. but them being gone for long doesnt actually decrease the probability. its just an illusion. why do humans like to pretend theyre in control like this?
narcissists
i’ve been in back to back relationships with narcissists (though it was easier for me to subconsciously seek the 2nd one out because i was craving the push/pull already). i left the first one feeling worthless and discarded and craving love. 2 months later i met the second one who i proceeded to fall in love with way too fast, he started talking long term so i felt safe. only for him to wake up one day 3 months later and tell me he feels nothing for me. none of my past relationships were this shit till the first one. now i fear i’m stuck in a loop of seeming desperate for love; attracting people who only wish to take advantage of that
How do I take what people (especially men) say less seriously?
It always feels like when I'm having an argument with someone it wasn't actually an argument, I just get worked up over words easily and i don't know what to say to the person so they'll shut up, when they think I'm being playful
How do I cope with disliking most people?
bf withholds money
i’ve given my bf large amounts of money in the past and the one time i ask for some money he flips out on me. he says i need to pay him back and snapped at me when i brought it up. i’m never demanding and i never make him pay for anything unless he offers. is he just a broke loser?? or should i just not ask for money.
I feel like my ability to befriend women is damaged because of my experiences being picked on by girls. I had an abusive mother, and was also recognizably autistic at school which as you can imagine made me very popular. I pretty much made my first ever female friend a few months ago, and even this, I'm worried she doesn't like me that much. (I definitely like her a lot so I hope it's mutual but I don't think I could realistically say to her, "Hey, I really like you so much. How much do you enjoy my company? What can I do so you enjoy my company more? Be honest." If I could say that I would and it would be so much more simple.)
Besides her, I've only ever had male friends, and none of those are possible anymore because we're adults now and they just want to date me.
I don't know why I'm always rejected, besides that I still have few social skills and don't really engage well. Men at least have a veneer of treating me nicely, because men will be attracted to anything with tits. Women just seem to dislike me. There was actually recently a problem at my workplace because my female boss (we're the only two women working there right now) singled me out so frequently and viciously that my male coworkers got together to report her to the higher ups. I can obviously tell I'm not likeable but I don't know why. The feeling of dislike is not mutual, I like everybody. I even liked her, tried to please her and figured I was just simply an awful employee and deserved what I got.
When I've talked about this before, people seem to assume that I must be an awful person to be in this position. I promise I'm not a bad person, and if I am, I don't know what I'm doing. I just want to make friends.
Figuring yourself out
Do you all know truly know yourself?
Do you know your personality?
I've been feeling really lost lately, as if I have no personality anymore. Does anybody feel the same? If you don't feel the same, how do you figure yourself out?
I really really hate having ADHD. I know your not suppose to blame your mental illness blah blah. But I feel like if I was just normal my bf would treat me better and not call me annoying all the time. Maybe he wouldn’t belittle everything I say, because I wouldn’t talk so much. He would actually wanna be around me. Maybe I would have friends because I wouldn’t be so anxious about over talking or being weird. It’s not fair because I see these couples on tiktok who have a SO with adhd and their so kind and loving to them. My boyfriend just tells me I need to grow up for just acting like a normally do. If I cry I feel stupid because he tells me I’m just crying for attention and that I don’t cry like a normal person. I feel like everyone sees me this way and I don’t wanna go outside anymore. If I’m not normal soon I’m just gonna kill my self. Sorry for the long post <3
The Mob
A couple of years ago, at my high school, I was very curious about politics. It was a constant topic of discussion at school. The school itself was composed almost entirely of liberals, so partially out of curiosity and boredom from the constant stream of sameness I decided to look up conservative commentators in an effort to make debates more interesting. But, once I started debating those talking points students, teachers, and my own goddamn parents started horrifically clutching their pearls. My school was supposed to be one of the highest achieving in academics in my state and yet the students and teachers could barely hold their own against Steven Crowder talking points. They resorted to constant dogpiling in order to have any victories, but even then sometimes I won. Eventually this behavior lead to my friends leaving me and the student body and some teachers growing really sour and passive aggressive. After seeing this behavior I decided to research a little about the school only to find its run by a bunch of corporate defense lawyers very rich. But the experience of constantly being dogpiled again and again by the mob has taken its toll on me. For one left-wing politics are hard to get into now because of the association. The only reason that stops me from discarding it entirely is fear. Fear that either the mob will come back or I'll be apart of the mob. I also have a huge fear of talking to other people in general for the same reasons. The experience has left me REALLY pessimistic towards others almost subconsciously. The only upside for me was I got really good at debate. For now I'm just trying to develop more positive associations with people in an effort to quell the fear a little. Funnily enough, whenever I get nervous now I bring up politics although I've been cutting back on that. Anyone else have experiences with the mob? How has it effected you and how do you cope?
Gore?
Hello I have a little question. It is about gore, and more precisely about liking gore. I do not refer to guro, or drawn gore. I do not refer to ficticious gore or horror movie gore. I refer to real gore. Why do some people enjoy it? I'm not even thinking about the moids that do, because I've come across women that enjoy looking at dead bodies/dead people/rekt threads/real life gore. Why? This isn't even a judgement. I can say I am a little bit guilty since I used to own a gore blog on tumblr 4 years ago when I was depressed and in a very bad mental place. It featured real injuries and surgical pictures and stuff like that. I was going for a fucked up aesthetic and yes you can shame me for being edgy on that one. I don't operate the blog and it has been abandonned a long time ago. One reason I have seen people like gore is because looking at gore images is a form of "overcoming themselves"? The thought goes like "If i can not flinch at gore or not be impacted, it means I am mentally strong". But is this even true? Isn't the disgust we feel while looking at gore there for a reason? Survival reason? Do people who "like gore" simply like it as a form of mental self harm? Could this even be a thing? Or maybe liking gore is just a form of curiosity? I am pretty sure it must depend from person to person. I also notice a lot of people simply liking shock factor gore for the sake of it being shock factor gore and nothing more. Isn't this a bit pointless? Is it good to like gore for the simple fact that it is shock factor? A lot of people also seem to show off how much they can take in gore content to gain edgy points and make themselves look cooler among their peers. In the end, I think it must depend from person to person. But I really do wonder about this phenomenon. Maybe you reading this also like gore? Or hate it? Maybe it has to do with mental illness. Or maybe it is a perfectly normal trait of the human brain. Either way, I do not know where those ramblings of mine will send me but I needed to write that down somewhere.
how to stop looking masculine?
i have very masculine facial features and ppl often mistake me for a young man. it makes me rlly insecure because my character doesn't correspond to this image of me at all. should i go for plastic surgery or use makeup? i'm kind of a tomboy and i never rlly used makeup before, it feels like 'cheating'
cant stop smiling
i keep smiling and laughing in a very stupid manner. with friends and family, with strangers. how do i stop laughing all the time? how do i control my emotions? i want to come off serious and be taken serious. it doesnt help that im very short and therefore not intimidating at all. really cant help but laugh or smile pretty much everytime anyone says something to me.
Moids Are In Our Midst
Moids are infiltrating our spaces. I saw this on r9k. Watch out for them, and do not listen to them. They need to be culled.
any tips for talking to people??
i feel like a failed human being asking this at my age, but due to circumstances that no one cares abt, i grew up with no friends, neither on school or family (all my family are older ppl, i dont have cousins or anything near my age), was bullied until i was 15 & so i never developed a normal socialization and also ended w social anxiety
since my social anxiety is getting a bit better little by little, i decided to take the plunge and start talking to ppl online to practice my social skills
and it isnt going well. i almost never know what to reply outside 'cool' 'nice'; i try to think something that interested me abt what they said or relate it to something that happened to me, but doing that often feels like im making the convo all about me.
i do have hobbies i could talk abt, but theyre kind of weird and i dont think they would be interested.
i have a common media interest with another person, but i dont want all our convos to be about that, and again i dont know how to start the convo or if they would be interested on a random thing i thought.
there has been a few days i could talk for very long, but 90% of the time i cant last for more than 3 messages…
i also tried group chats, but they overwhelm me and by the time i thought of a reply, the topic has already changed
this girl who messaged me almost daily hasnt talked in a week n half, which makes me kinda relieved because talking takes so much energy, but also i hope she doesnt think i dont care abt her… (i talked to her abt that, but still…)
i kiiind of can talk more naturally irl, but i still cant form friendships and my anxiety still gets in the way; everyone else has friends so i feel like an intruder they hate since im not as interesting…
it also sucks because there are ppl online who ask/want to be my friend and the feeling is mutual, but i dont know how to talk outside writing random ramblings to myself & so i always decline all offers….
i know the most important thing is to practice, so im on the right path, but if anyone has any tip of how to reply, topics to talk about or anything i would appreciate it
>be introvert college nona
>have a crush on a cute guy in my dorm I see sometimes
>smiles and says hi when he sees me, makes me get butterflies in my stomach
>can't stop thinking about him
>go to a party to get him off my mind and become more sociable so he might like me more
>see him there
>watch 5 pretty girls walk up and playfully kiss him on the lips, which he quite happily does
>6th girl gives him a shot of something and takes him upstairs
>watch the door of my dorm through my window all night, he never comes back
That's life, ladies
Regrets
what do you regret, anons?
i’m romantically interested in a mutual on twitter who continuously posts about wanting a girlfriend/wife. how do i get into his pants when we’ve never even talked before?
does anyone else feel like they deserve suffering? i don't know how to explain it.
i mainly just feel like no matter what i endure, it is never enough. the universe has chosen to make me lonely and have people leave me, as well as put me into existence right in perfect timing to live on this planet that acts as a prison. no matter how much i scream, or cry, when i feel like i've hit a new low, there is somehow even lower. i've begun to accept my fate and anticipate the inevitability of being alone and hurt over & over. but knowing i'll be likely trapped in this cycle forever is what scares me the most. i don't know why i can't just be happy like a normal person, and have a normal happy life with friends and loved ones.
>the pain and suffering truly is never-ending.
Almost 30, still have social anxiety
Maybe this is weird, but I feel like since I'm in my late 20s and I'm going to be 30 soon, I'm too old to still be in the phase of my life where I'm terrified of what others think of me and desperately want their validation and approval. I have no idea what to do about this.
Why is friendzoning considered worse than fuckzoning?
If I have a crush on someone it's because they're a great person, I don't need to get in their pants, I'd also be happy with being friends with someone like that. Hearing "either we bone or I have no interest in interacting with you" sounds like a huge insult to me and if my crush implied that I would no longer want to bone them in the first place.
I’m 18 and I can’t talk to other girls irl. Not in a tism way but in a way that we just never get each other and keep talking, super normies will write me off as funny but too quirky with my interests. I always get along with guys much more naturally. This has been happening noticeably the past three years and it’s not a situation that I’ve tried to cultivate, it just happened and the guys have almost always fully accepted me, to the point where my gender and differences are never brought up. Because of this I don’t often feel the pressure to make friends with girls. It took a while but they make no overly friendly advances towards me, it’s like heaven the way we can joke around about anything. I’ve never whored around and the only downside is my bf sometimes feeling anxious that I only ever talk to guys online and irl, but I always show him that I’m trustworthy. I’m heavily involved in a close knit irony community for a couple years now, I spent a lot of time in (but more so observing) 4chan trenches. It has completely complicated my humor and all my friends are outcasty, I feel like I couldn’t enjoy conversation with the casually funny, normal girl anymore. They all feel foreign to me, I’m never envious but I get anxious when I’m near a group of them. I want to have the natural companionship of funny, intelligent girl friends and there are rarely any in my online circles. Tips for talking to other girls and being more open to them? Or maybe some criticism on how I’m thinking about it?
Not rlly sure how to post this but I kinda need to get it off my chest
>last night me and boyfriend were watching shrek 2 in bed
>asked to watch it bc I really liked the movie last time I watched it
>around the end during the climax scene where they revive mongo and have the cool music number to “I need a hero.” his hands wander
>kinda get roped into it when I wasnt in the mood but he goes for it anyway and I get off really quick
>notice that the climax is over after our little pat session so I kinda pout
>Asks me whats wrong
>Explain that was my favorite part of the movie
He hasnt talked to me today I don’t know what I did wrong help me pls
>had a random dream of classmate from high school
>spend all day wanting to meet up and fuck that person
Anyone else like this?
Vent thread
Previous thread >>72144
>try tinder
>guys keep asking me about my age
>I have to put in my bio that Im definitely 24
>get called jailbait
can men and women be just friends?
i've been in a happy irl committed relationship with my bf for 3 years now.
i recently met another guy online from a community we're both in and we've been talking a lot. we have good chemistry and share genuine interest in each other. we exchange music, talk, and play games in groups together and it's really cozy. but i've been spending more time with him than with my bf and i feel really guilty. it's because my boyfriend is really busy with school and me and this guy are both neets. he doesn't even know i have a boyfriend yet and i'm worried about him developing a crush on me or already having one. sometimes i catch myself having weak feelings for him but i know i'll be perfectly content staying online friends.
do any of you guys have similar experiences with keeping men as friends? do you think its possible to develop a close friendship with a man without it becoming romantic?
Weird wartime troubles thread
My country is at war and I wanna be helpful. But the thing is, my mother cares about me too much and doesn't want me going out and volunteering and being helpful and she says me going out would make her worried and her heart problems worse, even though she does go out to work or to meet with her friends. The only other person who cares about me lives in another country and is also worried about me going out and helping and he doesn't want me to. The thing is, my city is relatively safe, it's fully controlled by my country. Sometimes there are air threat sirens but our air defense is good so I'm not very scared of going out because we have shelters everywhere and I can stay safe. And it's weird, I don't wanna worry the close ones, but I also wanna help. How do you even deal with such situations?
Feeling fat
I feel very fat, even though I know I'm not fat. It doesn't matter what I wear, I look chubby. Especially so in pictures. I'm starting to think I'm actually fat and I have reverse BDD.
I don't know what the issue is, exactly. Am I not "dressing for my body"? Am I crazy? Is everyone coddling me, and telling me I'm thin, even though I'm fat?
I don't know my height/weight at the moment, but I suspect I look heavier than other women with my same body weight. I don't know how I look, or even how thin and fat people are supposed to look like.
It's all very distressing. I just want to hurl in my room, and never look at myself in the mirror ever again. How do you shake off this feeling?
Oneitis
>dreamt about him again
Fiancée question
Okay so this is my first post on CC after years of lurking. I'm not sure if this is the right bored to make this post in so if it's not pls feel free to delete it.
So my fiancée (the wedding is next year) and I have been together for 3 years and we have had sex on and off for most of our relationship. I grew up in a very Catholic family and I to am Catholic and believe that Sex before marriage is wrong. It's hard to explain how I feel about sex exactly because i really like it but feel very guilty afterwards. Ive had numerous conversations with him about in which after we go to confession we stop for a while (usally like 2 weeks) before he starts getting resentful after I shut down his attempts to get frisky. He is Catholic too but really he doesn't care about sex before marrige being wrong. This is causing a massive strain on the relationship and I always try to make it up for him in other ways like cooking nice meals and giving him extra attention but This only works temporarily, he used to get angry about it but now he just gets quite whenever I shut him down. I feel really bad because I know how much it means to him but I just dont feel its right. He supports me in every way and I think he feels entitled to it. How do I keep celibate without my fiancée being resentful towards me for it? Image unrelated
First relationship
seeing this moid for since last couple of months. However there's this feeling in me he is talking to other girls. He hasn't given me major reasons to suspect him. One minor thing though, he sent a message and a word in it was autocorrected to name Kelly. He joked about it but I freaked out about it later and made a friend of mine type in same word, except it didn't autocorrect to "kelly" for her. Am I being excessively paranoid?
Another thing, he doesn't feel as territorial/possessive of me as I feel about him.
Having seen moid propensity to cheat, deceive and hurt women, I don't know how I can fully let go of my inhibitions. He is a great guy otherwise and I want this to work
boyfriend is physically repulsive to me
i have been talking to this guy online for a couple of weeks and felt an immediate connection right from the start. At some point he thought it was appropriate to ask me out for some sort of online """relationship""", as cringy as it seemed i still was head over heels with him enough to say ok. After that we talked way more to the point where i was comfortable enough to video call with him, he warned me beforehand he wasn't attractive but by god he is just not what i am into at all. That being said he is a very sweet soul and he brightens me up but i have this fear that we will not connect on a more intimate level (sex) since i don't think i can stomach how he looks. Hes just so fat and unkempt looking all the time. Is there any way to salvage this and just force him to take better care of himself? Or should i just take my loses and walk away from the situation?
in elementary school someone asked the question what would you do if you had a time machine. i thought to myself that i would go and meet my future husband. things were not good at home then. i always felt like a burden. i was hoping id be good enough for someone someday, that a nice man would want me and i would want him and i would have a place in the world where i belong and don’t have to feel like a waste of space. but that’s a pleasure reserved for women who have the assets to be desired both physically and emotionally by a man. otherwise he will only be satisfied with half of you and you’ll have to endure his carnal brain betraying you and it’s not his fault his biology wires him to crave and admire beauty and its not your fault you received the short end of the genetic stick. Your two options as an inadequate woman are to cope with your life sentence as a cuck or take matters into your own hands and attempt to win over his full love with the aid of scalpels and implants and bone saws.
Research about femcel communities
Hello everyone,
I am a researcher in Ethnology based in Sweden and I would like to know more about femcel/female communities!
A lot of research has been done on Incels and incel communities but research and knowledge about female communities are lacking. I think it’s a shame that knowledge about female communities and the experience of being a femcel is so limited, and I want to change that. I want to know how you found your way into the female community, and how talking to other women has been helpful.
I want to broaden the perspective on femcel and female communities from what I’ve seen so far in popular culture, and I want you to have much more influence on the knowledge of femcels. Also, I want to know about the female experience of the power of looks, as I’ve seen many of you express is important when understanding how femcels and many women feel.
I am therefore reaching out to you to ask if any of you would like to participate in interviews to help me gain knowledge about femcel status and femcel communities
If you want to talk to me first, before we do the interview, and then think about it afterwards, that’s absolutely fine!
If you are not comfortable doing a video or audio interview, we can also do a written chat interview.
You have the right to be anonymous and the right to withdraw at any time – also after the interview if you should regret anything.
I really hope that some of you, hopefully many, would like to help me gather all the right and important information about your community.
(I apologize if I don’t use the right words or terms for describing you or your community – hopefully, you can teach me how to use and understand those too)
You can either write me here in the thread, on my e-mail or on Discord.
[email protected]
provinsia#7833
Looking forward to hearing from you!
All the best,
Maria
How do I become like normies
Is there no use trying just because i have autism? I feel like i don't fit at all and this has become especially apparent since i left for university. My fellow awkward, nerdy friends from highschool all went different paths in life after graduation, and i realized i don't have the same ability to be high functioning now in university.
I haven't managed to make any friends unlike everyone else, i am constantly ashamed of my looks and myself. I feel alienated from everybody especially because of my history with self harm and eating disorders where i keep telling myself "i can't blend in with everyone else because i am fundamentally messed up"
I feel so lonely that it's become normal for me to go days on end without speaking at all, if it weren't for online friends I'd have forgotten how to communicate with others.
And that's another thing that worries me a lot, i am ALWAYS on my phone, like, if there's even a Minute's pause from lectures, I am to be found on my phone because online friends are the only thing keeping me afloat right now.
I want to be pretty and have a boyfriend like everyone else. I want to be able to have a normal conversation without practically walking away from it mid-sentence.
Not wanting to work
Any of you who aren't NEETs and have jobs, please give me advice on how to push through not feeling like going to work. The only job I can do is factory work that requires me to work 12 hours. I barely have enough time for anything which makes going to work the next day while not feeling adequately refreshed even more hellish. How do you push through? It's even harder when I can depend on my parents but I don't want to do that anymore. Will appreciate any input
I’m sexually confused
So I’ve been out as a lesbian for about a year and haven’t really had any doubts about it. I know that I love women but I’ve had this guy friend for about 3-4 years.
We used to date but we broke up cause the connection faded + I’m gay. We stayed really close friends and we literally are inseparable and we always joke that we’re basically an asexual couple.
However, the other day he came over to my house and it’s left me confused. We were in bed together just cuddling the entire time. It was the most comfortable I’ve ever been in my life and I’ve never felt so attached to a person. I love him a lot but I’m not sexually attracted to him.
I want to always be with him but I couldn’t fulfill his sexual needs cause I’m not attracted to men physically.
Idk what to do cause i want to be with him so i don’t know if I should push past the sex thing or not. Cause I have no problem having sex with a woman I just don’t know if I’ll find a connection like this again !
help me, I wish I was straight :(((
Attention!
Attention all neurodivergents!
You are some of the most lovely, interesting people there is to meet. Your presence is like a color splash in an otherwise dull and gray world full of normies. Your inability to follow trite social norms and unwritten rules makes every conversation more interesting. You make the world infinitely less boring to live in. Without you, everyone would just be boring machines that have been conditioned into a dull social mould. Whenever I meet one of you, I absolutely love hearing you ramble about some niche interest and carefully observe your aberrant body language. It will always be the highlight of my day. You are beautiful, amazing, chaotic individuals and I love every single one of you.
That's it. That's what I wanted to say. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Is it bad to enjoy just lying in bed doing nothing? Or stare off into space doing nothing a lot?
I think I’m depressed and this is a sign of it but I feel worse when I force myself to do things.
I get sad when I go outside and see people enjoying life when I have no one to hang out with. I get stressed sometimes when I overwork and so lying in bed is kind of neutral. I think I feel better if I lay in bed a while until I get my energy back. I feel guilty about it sometimes and also worry I may be missing out or starting a bad habit.
I used to stare at my phone In bed a lot but it’s gotten boring and stressed me out so I prefer to just lay here and day dream, fall asleep, experience hypnagogia or sort out problems. Sometimes I think of nothing and I just can’t get up.
Etsy
I ordered 2 dresses from etsy for ~$250. The seller is in Ukraine and I ordered a few days before the war broke out (I wouldn't have ordered if I had known they might be a war). The dresses were supposed to arrive a few days ago but haven't. The seller did post tracking info about 3 weeks ago but it hasn't been updated for a couple of weeks.
I messaged the seller today and they said they don't have money to refund me because of the war. However, my own financial situation isn't great either and I was in a bit of a manic state when I ordered the dresses. I've been returning stuff and selling on ebay to try and recoup a bit.
I feel kind of bad opening an etsy case to force a refund but I can't really afford or want to donate $250 to someone I don't know. Even if I did donate, I would prefer to do it through a well known organization like the red cross.
What should I do?
My student counselor I’ve been seeing for a little over than a year told me recently that she will be placed at a new training placement and ending this one she’s in with me right now on august 31. I never saw this coming at all, it hurts so much. When she told me this it took me a bit to process all of it because she said so much at once it felt like she was waiting to tell me for a long time or something.
It’s also funny because I had been postponing this appointment because I’ve already been depressed and numb before she told me so I just didn’t wanna go see her for a month, and then BAM! once I return she tells me this lmfao it’s so weird and funny.
I feel so sad though, I have no friends or social circle and no BF, she is my support system.
Before she told me all of this she was asking me “what will you miss or not recieve from me if we don’t talk?” And I kept wondering why she was asking this.
I cried so hard to her when she told me, I told her I never cry over anyone or anything and she knows.
grad school
s in grad school, how are you doing? are you enjoying what you’re learning? making connections?
Ugly guys
>I’ve been talking to this dude who is just outright mid. Like the kind of mid where you show your friends a picture and they all give you the look and go “reallly,him?”
>he’s sweet and way too smart and I honestly like him a lot.
>except for now he’s treating me like I’m the ugly one.
>he barley responds to me and he says it’s because of his new job. Which granted he works like three jobs but by jobs I mean he works with 3 different disabled people.
>if he does respond he just kind of teases me.
>he doesn’t ask me to talk on the phone anymore or just message me and say he misses me or he’s thinking of me.
Why are all mid/ugly men like this?
males are incapable of pair bonding
Crush is fucking other girl
>have a crush on this dude for 1.5 years now.
>came to our class as a new student and we are seniors now.
>He actually liked me back but i completely fucked it up because autism, i even have a very long list of cringey memories in my head.
>Overhear him talk to a girl on this Tuesday.
>"Saturday u can come over and my parents are gonna be away so it's gonna be perfect and you can '''sleep over'''."
>girl in question is super nice has a better body, has great talking skills, not autistic
>basically superior to me in every metric measurable
>Try to cope by saying that maybe they aren't fucking rn and that they are maybe just having a party along other friends but at this point it's way too obvious
How the fuck do i deal with the fact that they are having sex rn or maybe cuddling together while i am lying in bed seething and crying relentlessly? I can't even blame anything other than myself. I love that guy so much and he is genuinely the first man i can say this about confidently. Yet i managed to irrepearably fuck it up. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
my parents dont love me and had me while they were 21 yr old Djs. they abused me and wont admit nor will they ever let me heal. mom is a crack whore who abandoned me, dad was away all the time. when he finally got custody of me when i was 16(old enough to be developed and socially stunted due to the abuse), he does not address my ptsd and tells me im an adult now so i should figure it out. nobody helped me and i feel useless id rather die than get out of bed and make a life for myself
bf being the way men are D:
I am destroying my relationship.
I have a list of mental illnesses, mostly related to PTSD and autism. He loves me, esp because we both have autism. But my most long-lived non-tism "mental illness" is my "low self esteem". I use quotes because it's not low in a disordered way, it's low in a deserved way.
I'm hormonally intersex (a possessor of two x chromosomes still), and I look it. People have thought I'm a TIM before, and not for unjustified reasons. I literally grow more facial hair than my ex bf, I have heavy man-ish joints, and a basically male skeleton structure. That's only talking the things people can see in public. I also have clitoromegaly. I am a walking abomination to beauty and God's creation. My existence is a forced shrine to Baphomet.
I'm also fat. I weigh 188 lbs and I'm 5'9. My fat distribution isn't cute either. It's man-ish fat. I am an insult to the body God gave me and to life itself.
To him, I express my sadness with my appearance, how difficult it is to eat 500 cals, how difficult it is to workout 2hours a day, how much I hate myself, my PTSD informing this, etc., and all he tells me is to get help. See a therapist. Or worse, he says, "Yeah, you're right, it'd be really nice for you to have a smooth," (flat) "tummy."
And then he turns around, "IDK why you hate yourself so much, I tell you all the time I think you're pretty." But he doesn't get it. He knows I'm not pretty, that he doesn't even think I'm pretty. How can he not grasp that I don't want him to think I'm pretty, I want to BE pretty. I want to BE OBJECTIVLY PRETTY.
AAAAAAA it is rope cope time holy SHITBALLS
How to initiate a break-up.
I’ve been dating someone for a little over two years now. Before meeting him, I wasn’t ever interested in romantic relationships, but he asked me out and I agreed to try. He was lovely at first, but with all men, they reveal their true colors. He isn’t mean or abusive, but the traits I once put up with are becoming too much. I feel terrible for wanting to leave him, but I know it won’t end well if I stay.
Does anyone know how to break up? Any advice?
feels like i’ll never be seen as more than my sex
i really enjoy talking to lots of different people, but it feels like i’ve had to narrow my options because of how quick it is to be judged/oversexualized/you-name-it just for being female. my interests literally don’t matter, my personality doesn’t matter, just my sex. and it sucks cause i usually really don’t think about that stuff and then it happens and it hits me that it’s a part of being female.
How to make friends with other women?
I really wish I had more female friends with similar interests. There's a couple of girls in college I hang out with but we don't really have much in common so the loneliness is still here. It can be IRL or online, I really just wish I had more female friends and I'd appreciate any anon here who can give good advice or share their successful experiences.
I became obssesed with my boyfriends old crush
Hi, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 months and recently we started talking about past crushes. He then told me about this girl he crushed on before and i was really curious to know who it was so i asked for her name, and it turns out she still goes to our school. Everytime i see her i get really depressed because shes everything im not. Shes effortlessly cool and pretty and it makes me really sad. My boyfriend doesn't even have any classes with her so i dont know why i feel this way. Thank you for reading!
i come from r9k. im so tired of being invalidated by incels who misuse statistics and hate me for being a woman and calling them out. how many of you are similar?
Will I ever make music
I swear I have 0% creativity. I’m a lifelong player of music, and for as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to make my own. Unlike other musicians though, I never have melodies come into my head, or lyrics, or even just aesthetics I want to put into music. Maybe the occasional concept, but it’s normally “I want to sing about this relationship” in a very intellectual way. If I sit down and just try to compose, nothing occurs to me beyond chord progressions. I’m not limited by my music theory or software skills, which are top tier, I just have no inspiration. I was blursed in being a classical musician for so long because I got too steeped in technique and was guilt tripped for listening to any modern genres by my parents, so I don’t have any intuition for writing in a modern style since I never listened to that in my impressionable years.
I know the obvious solution is to give up on the dream since even talented people don’t generally have what it takes to compose seriously unless they are in the top 0.1 percent. But I get inspired by artists like Grimes, who only wrote motifs before suddenly figuring out how music works one day. And I used to be literally unable to write essays and such because I didn’t have enough thoughts to fill a paragraph (I was horribly undersocialized and legit did not have the ability to have or explain opinions until high school, I could only write out instructions for physical tasks or copy what was in a text). I love writing now and that’s why I hold out hope for being able to compose music. But I have no idea even what genre to begin with even if I wanted to just sit down and grind out some fragments one day.
Advice or personal experience wanted, I just feel subhuman for not being able to make any art that isn’t copying and want to know if music-making is something that can be learned or if you just need the gift.
Marrying a guy you don't really love
I'd love to hear miner's thoughts on this subject. It seems that most women don't get to marry the guy they were madly in love with and end up having to settle for a guy they have lukewarm feelings for at best or don't love at all at worst.
So how do you deal with having to settle for a guy who wasn't your great love and is it even moral to do so? I used to think it was fine to remain celibate all these years but now I'm getting older I realize that I'm not happy alone and was kind of coping myself into thinking I would be okay with it. I want a husband but I know I won't be able to get the man of my dreams.
I have a crush on Geddy Lee.
People call me weird, because of that. On top of that, I have always loved Rush's music and Geddy Lee's vocals aren't that annoying as people say!
LDR general & feels
Let's talk about long distance relationships and share our current feels!
To get it started, here are a few questions to pick from:
>How long have you been dating? If you're single, since when have you had feelings for the other person?
>Did you meet IRL or online?
>How long did you know each other for before you started dating?
>Did you enter an official (between the two of you) romantic relationship before or after meeting IRL?
>How did you confess?
>If you met online, how was the first meeting?
>How far apart do you live?
>How often can you see each other?
>How do you communicate? (chatting, calling, video)
>How much or how often do you communicate?
>Can you recommend any apps or websites for LDR couples?
>How do you feel about your sex life when you're apart?
>Are you monogamous? Do you have exceptions?
>How happy are you in your current relationship?
>What are your plans for the future?
Help, I think I damaged myself.
After spending quite some time at an incels forum and seeing what they think about women, what they want to do to the female population and how psychopathic they are it really made me guestion the men around me. When I saw a man on the street I just perceived him as a normal human being going with his day,but after seeing so many male only spaces now mostly I think "Maybe he has raped someone" or "Is he one of the incels?".
Also after the taliban takeover I've been in constant worry about women's rights and freedom. I remember going through a website about making fun of incels and I saw a post in a male only forum about how they hope the taliban come in Europe so that "they can teach modern women". Even if it was at a place where everyone made fun of the post,for some reason it really bothered me that there are people who want this to happen. Why do women have to always worry that some random people can take their entire liberty away, while men can live their entire life's without ever having this thought?
Also I've become way too sensitive to the female sexualization in media. Whenever I see a sexualized woman in a commercial, ad, movie, magazine, video game, music video or other media I start to feel dizzy and as if I'm about to throw up. I can't stop seeing fetishized and perverted "female" figures that are only created to satisfy the cook chimps in the media around me.
I tried taking a break from the internet - didn't help.
What do I do now…?
How do I get over regret over how I lost my virginity? I was drunk, and so was he, and I don't remember a lot of it. I also found out that he was married afterwards, and he ghosted me when I found out. I always thought I'd wait for someone I love for my first time, instead I got wasted and acted like an idiot. I'm 21, he was 29. I feel horrible every day like I made a terrible mistake. It could have been something special with my lover and I wasted it.
No men no women?
I've always been an hopeless romantic girl, but my relationship with men were extremely fucked up and I was the one that cared the most. Ever since my radfem awakening (3 years ago), I can't stop noticing every single detail about men socialization & their low effort. My bi friends have healthy and normal relationships with other women – every detail about sex, living together etc. can't be the same with a man. My last relationship was with an autistic guy, he was very sweet, sex was great for the first time, but I dumped him (Aldo 1st time in my life) because I realized that I had to struggle the most to make this relationship work for me. He couldn't change his (male) behaviour and I wanted him to be himself. I'm bi, but I'm VERY awkward around girls… am I going to be a femcel forever?
PCOS Treatment?
Maybe a weird place to ask, but any other femanons struggling with PCOS and not knowing how to treat it? I don't trust using birth control pills or the like because many seem to report a slew of shitty side effects messing with their already messed up hormones. I don't trust my doctor and don't have a gyno appt. until May.
I noticed symptoms about a year ago and got an ultrasound to confirm the ovarian cysts, and as of the past month I'm noticing an uptick in hormonal acne and I'm starting to notice thinning hair at my scalp. Looking back at old pictures it seems my hair growth slowed down majorly in the past 3 to 4 years and I don't know if that's due to unrecognized PCOS or poor diet (I've struggled to meet my nutritional needs for years) or just genetics or something. I imagine my diet has contributed to developing PCOS. I see a lot of women treat it "naturally" with herbs and supplements but they all say different things.
The effect on my appearance has been contributing to a newfound intense body image insecurity.
Relationship Anxiety
How do you get rid of the irrational fear your partners going to leave you? Rationally my relationships going great (although we're currently long distance) but I keep having anxiety about him leaving me for trivial reasons. If anything, this fear hinders our relationship more than any potential "issue" I get anxious about. Any tips for coping with this fear?
dreamt about the girl hes been fucking me over with the other day and proceeded to still talk to him but i guess ive had my final straw when he said shes the only girl hed actually date
be honest am i dumb for still talking to him after all of the times i saw him lust over her and the dream
I hate children
I can't handle them. I don't want to be mean to them, but I don't understand why anyone would willingly have a financial and mental drain, while calling it rewarding experience. The likelihood of them ending up as a piece of shit or at least depressed is high these days.
What to do when i look like a tranny cause my face and body just are masculine. I feel so bad about myself making fun of trannies helps cause im atleast a biological female but other than that i wanna d*e
>suicidal thoughts are increasing in frequency
>disturbed sleep
>feel lethargic all the time
>can't eat well at all
>feel completely turned away from social activities
>can't focus on what's important to me
>attention span is fried
>try to go to therapist
>"We keep your mental health records for seven years and they can be obtained by a court of law under civil or criminal cases"
>absolutely refuse to go to the therapy after that
What do?
hello
basically almost 4 months ago i started dating this girl. we live in the same country but different cities so it’s a ldr but we met a couple of times. we used to get along so well, i used to tell her so much shit i kept just for myself, we were extremely close and i wouldnt have ever imagined we would drift apart, at least not so soon. we did everything together, we were quite inseparable. everyday we would ft and we would talk for hours and play games and watch movies and stuff we were always so excited whenever we could see eachother in person. one day my parents ,who despite eachother ,start arguing. at first i didnt think it was anything serious since they do it all the time, but suddenly i hear this loud slap. i go downstairs to see whats up and i see my mum laying on the ground crying and my dad holding a knife. he only grabbed it yo scare her, at least thats what he said, but nothing happened after that. this low key traumatized me and now im scared of my own dad. he doesnt even come home anymore and when he does he yells at my mum. after this shit happened my gf started ignoring me like crazy like there were days where she wouldn’t reply for DAYS. since she was my only friend i didnt have anyone to talk to about anything and so many days i just laid in bed doing nothing. i used to think i dont have any mental disorder like depression despite crying all day and feeling like shit for no reason LOL but now im not so sure anymore. i used to do so many stuff like read omg i used to read so much likr 10 books a month but now i barely even read one. im so exhausted idk if my overreacting but im so tired of hesring my mum cry everyday, my brother yelling at every family member everyday, my dad verbally abusing me whenever he sees me, my only real support literally cutting me off of her life for no reason and the bully i suddenly start getting at school. i tried talking yo her about this but she just said that im just overreacting. god i even started failing school causing my mum even more stress. i guess i even thought about committing god im so cringe but i don’t even feel like myself nor like myself anymore and i dont know what to do. i think i wrote so much hahah but again im lonely and this is the first time i type anything about this. this is more like a vent post because im not sure how anyone can help me at this point but i just wanted to get this off my chest and i didnt know where else to do it. thanks for reading everything!!!!
Dating a robot
I feel like I’m dating a sociopath or something like that. My bf is super robotic, to the point that I and his friends basically know everything he’s going to say before he says it. If he has an opinion on something, it’s yours. If he has an activity that he does, it’s yours. Everything about him is just mirroring people he wants to be around and I just can’t help but think it’s not genuine at all, even though he seems fully committed to the act. Everyone around him catches onto it and tolerates it, but it really aggravates me since he’ll say one thing and do whatever he thinks is best. He bought a house, without telling me, because the numbers made sense and that was that. He got input from his friends and family, but not me since I’m not “knowledgeable about finance.” It’s like the only decisions he’s capable of making are where to get directions from. That’s it! My bf has zero brain at all and somehow makes it work, while belittling me for “thinking too much.”
Good job, decent face, great body, easy to get along with, but I’m not really happy with how seemingly soulless he is. I know if I leave I probably won’t get what I have going for me (I’ve tried and it’s tough out there) but I don’t really think I can spend the rest of my life with such a spineless person. It really bores me and I was hoping for a more interesting, rewarding partner
Being more open
I literally want to blow my fucking brains out and am so close to suicide right now. I can't manage basic tasks and hygene, I got home and slept for 5 hours today and then spent another 5 hours trying to muster up the strength to get out of bed, put on clothes, and eat something.
All I've wanted all night is my boyfriend's support but unfortunately we are currently LDR so all I can do is text and call him. He's been blowing me off all night but that isn't really his fault, because he doesn't know how bad I am right now and I don't know how to talk to him about it. Any time I try to talk to him about anything remotely emotional its incredibly hard and I don't know how.
And even if I did talk to him I don't even know what I want from him. I don't want him to go "oh poor baby" but I also don't want him to fix my problems. I don't know what I want at all, all that I know is that I want him. So what am I supposed to tell him what I want from him even if I were to talk about my emotions? Then I just pointlessly make a big deal over needing him but I don't actually know what I need.
What do I do
teenage years wasted
did anyone else have this kind of issues growing up, or was i exceptionally more prone to getting triggered than others? i don't know anyone in real life who went through something similar.
why do i attract strange men?
>overweight, unhygienic, ugly, manchildren
>"You're the only one who understands me" after 3 conversations in public.
>trouble making friends & was clearly bullied as a child
>every. single. time.
I'm healthy, have a nice body, and I get plenty of positive comments on my looks from strangers and my girlfriends so I think I'm at least average or a little above maybe. But I am very passive/naive and throw myself into situations with people I don't feel comfortable near. Am I just retarded? Is that why these men have the audacity to think I'm going to date them? Why do I attract heaps of these men? It's getting worrying, like maybe I am ugly like them too and don't know it.
formerly abusive mothers
has anybody else experienced having an abusive mother that changed into a nice loving one? how do you deal with this?
my mother used to beat the life out of me when i was a child for the slightest mistake. a few examples, when i was in early primary school she would beat me for not being able to translate legal documents for her even though she "pays for school" so i should understand. she is illiterate, so she doesnt know what school is like or what gets taught. she would beat me for not being able to hold conversation with her adult friends and she would also beat me severely for not being able to finish my food.
now, she has changed completely. she rarely puts her hands on me or ever even yells at me. suddenly she supports me and buys me things, cooks me food i like and doesnt get mad when i dont finish. she says she feels bad that i dont share any aspect of my life with her. she is actually really nice to me, and i appreciate it wholly.
whenever i bring up something she did to me in the past, she gets upset and says "just bring up every bad thing i did why dont you" or "this isnt a court room" or "the past is in the past" or that she doesnt remember that happening.
i understand her completely, i know i wouldnt like it if i changed for the better and people still brought up my past. but i cant help but feel uncomfortable.
i feel so guilty for even remembering this and saying it publicly. she hasnt lived an easy life either so i know i should cut her some slack, and i have forgiven her, but i just cant forget about what she did and i feel horrible about it.
any help? am i a bad person for bringing it up?
Justice after Tragedy
Have you sought justice after being raped/sexually assaulted? Was it a success? What advice would you give to a victim finding justice through court or other means?
(un)official blogposting thread
tell me about your day cc!
stories also welcome
Worried about pregnancy
>be me, indifferent towards babies, don't want them
>dream I'm pregnant with twins
>feel intense, primal happiness from mother instincts in the dream (it is so strong that I remember the feeling still)
>few days after this dream, start spotting for 2 days. Feel nauseous for a week. PMSing like crazy.
>feel horny in the way it is usual for my ovulation time, but it could also be a pregnancy symptom
>start testing for pregnancy everyday. All tests negative.
>babies and puppies seem to be cuter than usual. Catch myself smiling while looking at them.
>realistically know that my entire life would crumble if I had a baby
>have some divination done on the topic (usual practice in my country) it comes out I'm not pregnant, but am ovulating very strongly instead
>nausea so bad yesterday I actually puked.
>symptoms line up with my mom's when she was in early pregnancy
I'm getting extremely mixed messages here. I hope I'm not preggers anons…
My first experience of affection from opposite gender
I'm a 19 year old kissless virgin and yesterday a male friend of mine just pulled me by my waist towards himself whenn I leaned forward to hug him. My body became super weak momentarily and the feeling of his body heat felt like me drinking hot choco under a blanket during winter. After he let go off me I had to sit down for a while because i felt dizzy. My heart feels really heavy whenever I think of him now.I think I want him to hug me like that again , many many times….. am I crazy? Is this because I am not used to being touched? Should I ask him out?
Venting about our families
Tell us about the worst excesses of your families. Are your siblings bullies? Are your parents overbearing? Why are they this way? Let's talk about it!
The Thankfulness Thread
What are you thankful for?
No complaining allowed, positive vibes only!
I am thankful for living in a time and place of peace and prosperity. I can live a relatively safe life without the intense fear of war or violent uprising.
Unsent letters
Ever wanted to give someone a piece of your mind but you know you'd just regret it? Post in here and get it off your chest.
anxiety
How do you all deal with it? What are your favorite tricks against it? Another wave of anxiety is hitting me hard rn… and I'm thinking if I'll be able to get it under control w/o meds or not
Is anyone else who has become normie or gone towards the path of normieness frustrated by how boring their everyday life is getting?
I chose a major in college that I'd like to believe, despite "It's one that seems to offer actual job security" being part of the reason I switched to it, that I chose also because I am genuinely interested in it. Even so, I still can't help but feel jealous of those who get to live out my higher aspirations, like traveling and living abroad, while I'm stuck learning algorithms behind a computer. I feel like I will only be able to vicariously live through those people and never actually experienced anything "fun" for myself anymore.
As much as I hated being a hikineet, and it was one of the worst periods of my life, I still felt more entertainment back then. I had online friends to talk to and mess around with. Now I use computers more for school or work than for fun. No online friends and I'm just obsessed with checking my school or work e-mail, and only think about school and work. I've turned into a person that my old friends would find extremely lame, if they saw me now. It's kind of embarrassing.
Being normal
Does anyone else think it's weird how so much of being a normie is saying things you don't mean and doing stuff you don't like?
For instance I have to make constant smalltalk at my job otherwise it's seen as rude. It's kind of fascinating how a lot of the time the other person is clearly bored of the same old questions and you are too, but you have to pretend to be polite and enjoy it.
What's also funny is normies make it really obvious when they're unhappy or discontent with something, but will neve say it out loud, they will constantly display passive aggressive behaviour but never ever say outright what's wrong or bothering them. It's so weird.
Another thing I noticed is how preprogrammed I am (and I think most women are) to laugh at things we don't find funny. For instance, my male coworkers all fancy themselves as amateur comedians, but none of them are actually funny. A lot of the time, stuff they say is just completely cringe, lame or disgusting, but I notice myself and my other female coworkers giving polite fake laughs so as not to hurt the guys feelings. After noticing this behavior in myself I felt really stupid for entertaining men I don't like and also committing normie behavior. If you don't laugh or roll your eyes at stupid stuff men say you're labelled a bitch or stuck-up.
Anyway rant over I just realized today how strange it is how preprogrammed so many responses are in social situations, and how normies can be as passively rude as they want to but saying whatever annoys or irritates you outright is a huge social sin.
Dealing with aging
I'm in my late 20s and now I miss being younger and more naive and feel like I lost my opportunity to have cute stereotypically female experiences. I mingle with much younger people sometimes due to shared hobbies (weeb stuff) and I realize that I feel way too old for it (and them). It makes me feel bitter about missing out on all the fun stuff because I feel like I wasted my entire youth being depressed and anxious. I really dread becoming even older.
what is living with a moid like? Is it hard sharing a bathroom and bedroom? how long till i get fed up?
I feel like an old person these days. Everyday is the same as before and when a day is any different a feeling of overwhelming tiredness clouds over me. Life is feeling like my morning runs , except instead of 10 laps around the ground , its endless. I don't know when to stop and its tiring. I am always in awe of the universe, always wondering what all this is for. I don't know why and how I exist and it kills me inside. Initially , i went in for the absurdist approach that it "simply doesn't matter what I do, so I can just do anything." But then i realised i care too much and i want to know it all , so the pain doesnt stop. I make several theories but they end up contradicting themselves and….. its a mess.I feel hopeless and I think I'm going to die like this, without truly amounting to anything, on a tiny speck of dust in the grand wide universe. Its haunting , but thats even more the reason why I must keep moving forward. I must keep my loved ones close and….. I wonder if they're real? Is this a stimul
Long story short I learned today that I was molested as a toddler by my mother's bf at the time who tried to drown her. And everything makes sense now because I was an unhappy, self isolating child who always tried to be someone else, and this carried into adulthood. Only now it's worse because combine all that with adult neurosis.
I don't know if anything will ever fill this void, I had hope in religion but I'm so cynical I can't trust myself to be genuine with that, so suicide seems like a viable solution to my problems
Dating Thread
Can we have a dating thread going?
In here, we discuss meeting people, dating advice, stories, rants and so on.
——
I’ll start first. I recently joined a dating website not expecting to find anything special. There’s a guy whom I’ve been corresponding with for a bit and we plan to meet this weekend. How do you ladies prepare for a date?
feeling like a loser
i am the only one in my friend group without a boyfriend, some are already engaged, one is married, the others are in LTR's and seem really happy and i am happy for them. for the longest time i thought i was glad being alone as i am, took the pinkpill too early only reading stuff like Jane Eyre and the like, then growing up and realizing i am asexual which didn't help. i don't think guys (or girls for that matter) are attractive, but there has always been a side of me that yearned for a strictly platonic relationship, with nothing to do with sex, a shoujo-manga style relationship if you will, but soon enough, that side of me also realized it is a strictly fictional thing, (or a one in a thousand?) which made me give up, and i was happy giving up because it felt easier. for a while, it felt like a huge burden was taken off my shoulder, when i was able to say "im asexual" and it made sense. But recently, ive realized that hugging my cats to kill off touch starvation, and reading fanfiction like i used to when i was a middle-schooler "ain't it" anymore.
Whenever my friends are talking about their S/O, either in a positive or negative light, they seem so much cooler than me. not just in the sense "how do you do fellow kids"-cool, but just- relevant, got their life together, typical, safe, etc.. qualities none of which i have for my own.
and recently, it's gotten even more humiliating because they seem to like joking about this state of mine too, i can't stop thinking about that time i was talking to this one girl, and the conversation ended with me wishing her well on her upcoming marriage like "y'all are so cute together, i wish you well!" and she goes
>thank you anon, and i wish you and Aatrox well too :))
Which made me want to kill myself.
i still do tbh, it's just- the idea of getting in a relationship horrifies me to no ends, the committement, the "being the best version for yourself", the sappy cringe, but especially all the sexual stuff. But on the other hand, i feel dysfunctional and weird being the only one this way, and i wish i can stop feeling this way and love moids like everyone else and be normal in this sense
>mom tells me she has cancer
>great now she’s gonna spend months jerking herself about how much she loves me and how she was good mother.
>despite the fact she emotionally tortured me as kid and beat me.
>has been a drunk since I was 12 and blew up my whole family dynamic because she had to have another kid
>bf your so shitty, you can’t even spend a day in the car with her
Am I suppose to forgive her because she’s dying? Seems kinda fake to me
Starting IRL hobbies as an adult NEET
I want to start some hobbies that require in real life lessons. But, I'm also a total shut-in who hasn't had hobbies that involve leaving the house since I was in elementary school. How do I get over my fear that I'll act like a total loser?
how to cope with feeling inadequate
throughout my life i was always known as the ''smart one''. i like to read, i'm good at academics, i try to learn a bit of everything etc. now i'm in a good college with like-minded people and people are just so much better than me. i'm not really a self conscious person but i can't help but to envy their knowledge so much it's becoming an obsession for me. one time someone dropped an fun fact about ancient rome, and i fell down a spiral and spent a whole week researching about ancient rome. how do i stop taking everyting as competition? or am i doing the right thing kek
PornHub ruined an entire generation
If I could go back in time and change one thing, I would make it so internet porn never became a phenomenon.
It literally ruined an entire generation of men (and women) and now we're following #1 world coomer Japan in terms of sexlessness and lovelessness and low fertility rates. It's terrible. I'm certain that a massive number of our current social problems can be traced back to internet porn becoming readily available in every household.
how do i get my life together .. i was forced to quit my job i just got bc i ended up oding a few days ago n it just sucks sm i have no friends or anyone .. im so lonely i just want friends to talk to daily n stuff i have so many plans i want to do but idk how to get them like how do i get into fashion design/marketing i want to do that or anything i just feel so lost
Dating a man with an OnlyFans
So I don't normally post all that often, but I've found myself in a unique situation and could use a second or third opinion.
So to make a long story short, I met this really great guy. Tall, handsome, well groomed, polite, and he makes really good money. The only problem is that most of his salary is coming from his onlyfans account. He has a normal 9-5 that he says he uses for "pocket money", but he's explained to me that he's at the point where he needs to kep doing onlyfans to maintain his current lifestyle.
I honestly haven't ever really had a problem with OnlyFans in the past, I actually know a couple of girls that were able to seriously turn their lives around with the money they made from it, but something about the idea of my romantic partner doing at makes me feel insecure.
We've gone on a few dates now, and he's been fairly open about it. He's only done solo stuff up to this point, and %75 of what he posts is just teases, but he said he's gotten multiple offers to do collaborations with female models. He told me he didnt have any plans of making that sort of content, and that he wouldnt do it if he was already dating someone, but something about the whole situation makes me uncomfortable.
Has anyone else gone through something like this before? Its a shame, because hes a really great guy, he's attractive, and is one of the only men ive met in the last few years that has a stable income and good mental health. I feel like such a hypocrite for encouraging my girl friends to make account, but then being against my potential boyfriend doing the same thing.
Am i overthinking things? Is it really different when guys do it instead of girls? I really need some answers here.
>Friday night
>Sitting alone in a wagamama
>Ugliest girl here
>Waiter thought I got stood up
>Sneering
Fuck my life.
Why do I get a strong urge to hurt people who are being nice to me or are attracted to me? Just an extremely strong urge to disappoint them or offend them
Being a fangirl as femcel cope
Any other femcels here who throw themselves into worshipping boybands as a distraction from loneliness?
I’ve realized this is a common cope for Asian femcels. The virginity rates in Japan are 25% for females aged 18-39. The beauty standards are so high and you have to be very thin (around 37-45kg is ideal) extra pretty & under 25 to really compete in the dating market there. Not to mention a lot of the guys are coomers married to their 2D waifus, and prostitution is everywhere in China, Korea and Japan. I feel really sad for East Asian women in this regard. So I can totally understand why they prefer to obsess over boy group members who represent the ideal boyfriend to them.
I’m 27 now and have been following boybands since 2007. I tried online dating for a while but each guy I met was awful or ended up ghosting me and I gave up and am now back to being fangirl. Yes some might say it’s kinda sad or pathetic for a woman my age but I really can’t see an alternative now. I really relate to these lonely single women, who have to resort to a fantasy ideal of a boyfriend. At least it’s fun. I’ve met a lot of really sweet female friends through concerts, and am considering staying in Japan or Korea on a work visa so I can attend more. If you are prone to maladaptive daydreaming and such anyway it’s a pretty good cope.
Vent Thread
Previous thread >>69156
Never ever make promises
"the best way to keep one's word is not to give it"
I made a promise I did not keep and I feel awful about it, please just do what you're gonna do and never promise when happy, sad, or angry even if it makes sense at the time.
Doing practicum training to be a teaching assistant right now and I’m placed at this recreational facility for adults with various exceptionalities and disabilities for 3 weeks so I can pass this and move onto getting a job in a school.
Long story short is today was my last day so I decided to put on a T shirt that’s new and unworn, so I took the tag off and put it on and put on a long open cardigan to wear over it.
I walk in for my final shift, sit down next to a client and 30 minutes into my shift my supervisor comes down, pulls me aside to back in privacy. She hands me a paper clip and goes “WE noticed you’re not wearing a bra, so you can use this to zip it up, I’ll give you some privacy” I’m like what? Who’s looking at my tits in the first place???
Keep in mind that everyone in this facility is an adult. Also the only thing that was stated was that I wasn’t wearing a bra? How’s that an issue for them when it’s my body?? My tits aren’t out, my nipples weren’t visible, maybe my nipples were kinda piercing through my shirt (erect) cuz it was cold but that’s about it
Also do you guys think I should tell my female therapist about this? I’m afraid she’ll just think I’m retarded
>skipped class because depressed
>depressed because stupid
>stupid because skipped class
College is a nightmare from which I struggle to awake.
Paolease
>Report an assault 10 weeks ago
>Detective: "You should hear back within a few weeks"
>I call back one month later
>Detective: "Hopefully you will hear back tomorrow"
>One week passes
All I could do was report it. I haven't been interviewed by a detective. What the fuck is happening. Is this usually how this works?
Researcher looking for interviews with women who consider themselves femcels
Hello everyone,
I am a researcher in Ethnology based in Sweden and I would like to know more about femcel/female communities!
A lot of research has been done on Incels and incel-communities but research on female communities is lacking. I think it’s a shame that knowledge about female communities and the experience of femcels is so limited, and I want to change that. I want to know how you found your way into the female community, and how talking to other women has been helpful.
I want to broaden the perspective on femcel and female communities from what I’ve seen so far in popular culture, and I want you to have much more influence on the knowledge of femcels. Also, I want to know about the female experience of the power of looks, as I’ve seen many of you express is important when understanding how femcels and many women feel.
I don’t only want to write about you, but I want to write with you to fully understand your perspective and life experiences.
I am therefore reaching out to you to ask if any of you would like to participate in interviews for my thesis.
If you want to talk to me first, before we do the interview, and then think about it afterwards, that’s absolutely fine! It doesn’t have to be a video interview, so if you prefer to do the interview with audio only that is also fine. We can also arrange an anonymous chat-conversation. You decide!
You have the right to be anonymous and the right to withdraw at any time – also after the interview if you should regret anything.
I really hope that some of you, hopefully many, would like to help me gather all the right and important information about your community.
(I apologize if I don’t use the right words or terms for describing you or your community – hopefully you can teach me how to use those too)
You can either write me here in the thread or on my university e-mail: [email protected]
If you don't want to write an e-mail feel free to suggest an app or something else where we can chat privately.
All the best,
Maria
voluntarily celibate
I do not hate men or anything, I just am more career focused and dating seems too much of a burden, I believe dating helathily can be positive but it may not be for everyone, anybody else like me?
i wish i could stop having a panic attack and self doubt whenever my boyfriend doesn't constantly text me
sleepless thread
my sleep schedule is horribly messed up again, any other miners having trouble sleeping now
unnamed feelings
There is "happiness", "sadness", "anxiety", "pride" etc… but do you sometimes experience feelings that don't seem to have a word for them and that you can't articulate to others? Do you feel like these feelings might be unique to you and no one else since no one seems to discuss them or even bother making up a word for them? Well, share them with me I can't be the only one
Feel like a beta female/nice girl sometimes, wish I had friends irl to tell me if it was the truth or not, I’m such a loser. I hate myself so much I wish someone would drown me in a bucket of bleach. I give anyone and everyone the benefit of the doubt and I never stand up for myself, and if I do ever rarely stand up for myself it’s a full blown meltdown and I look mentally ill. Why do I have such low-self worth? I can’t see any value in myself at all, I don’t think I was supposed to function in society
your family has interesting stories
i'm 26 but for whatever reason me and my mom have never really discussed her past. all i know is that she grew up in the u.s. south. today i offhandedly mentioned how i don't gel with the way some people idealize the 1960's. this lead my mom to talking about her memories of the large kkk chapter in her city; driving past burning crosses, and being bussed to an integrated school. i had no idea about any of this. it's crazy how you can feel like somebody is your best friend yet know so little about them. ask your families for their stories, if you can. you might be surprised.
>drive two hours to see boy I kind of like
>make a joke about how 40% of the reason he hangs out with me is my boobs, because insecure
>”anon if that were the case I wouldnt talk to you every day”
>tfw he actually reassures you
How to cope with misogyny
Jannies deleted the original thread I made for no reason, so I'm making another one.
I constantly feel unsafe, upset, and resentful. I can't cope with how much men hate us, It makes me hate myself for being female, wondering why I have to be subject to misogyny every fucking day. I just don't get it, what did we do to be hated by males? How can we fix our situation? I feel hopeless and paranoid.
Is there any way to cope with misogyny and feeling uncomfortable and disgusted by men?
confessions thread
i tell my dentist that i floss regularly even though i dont
mums bf cheating, shes bleeding me
as per title, mums bf of 2 years was cheating the whole time - she had been paying all his bills while extorting money from me (owes me 2.5k and i'm a pensioner)
she just feels sorry for herself, she came back and is eating all the food I have for myself to the point iv gotta go to a charity to feed myself and she refuses to go back to work… she also abuses me if I don't buy her alcohol (which is very expensive here in Australia)
she just feels sorry for herself
what can I do to snap her out of this bullshit?
obsessive shit
Hello guys, i'm here to ask you for help.
I'm a 18 y/o and i've been obsessed w this guy i've seen in school and never talked to for like 4-5 years
It's like i found myself daydreaming all day and before going to sleep about fictional scenaries where we meet and end in a relationship. every.fucking.day
I've tried so many ways and even dated guys with the hopeof forgetting him but it's always in vain. I don't know what to do.
Lately i have been alone and i feel like i'm getting worse for every day passed. I know i'm a total garbage but i can NOT help it
(when i say that i'm obssesed i refer not only to stalk him in social media, but knowing his personal data like his direction and his parent's, date and place of birth, studies, friends, some other information and loiter near his house waiting for him to get out)
I'm sick, stupid, etc and sorry for the bad english, i am not a native speaker
Its frustrating
I love my boyfriend. I admire him, I think about him all the time, I want the best for him and he's genuinely great. But I'm frustrated, because I'm pretty sure that he would see me as subhuman if it weren't for his feelings. That he only sees a girl who gives him some affection. Besides that, I'm nothing. He would not care about me if I was not his girlfriend. I'm exhausted when I wonder "what does he really think about me ?". I don't care about compliments just like I don't really care about insults, it just depends on the person. So I usually feel nothing if a girl or a boy says I'm intelligent or pretty or funny or stupid or unbearable or whatever, I just say thank you or fuck you and I don't care. But he says the same kind of regular bs to me. I never asked him to pretend he thinks something of me. He says the kind of shit boys say to girls to make them think they care. "You're interesting" "not like the other girls" YES, YES I AM LIKE THEM, IL A GIRL, and I dont need to be special. Why do they become hypocrites when they fall in love? I cared and admired him and aknowledged him before I loved him. At least he treats me good, great actually. He's sweet, he talks gently to me when he doesnt try to make me feel good with lies. I'd rather have that than a man who makes stupid basic "rahspect woman" tweets to then rape girls in his free time. Im just really sad.
embarrassing memories
i was socially retarded, completely socially retarded until i started going to college and i still did embarrassing things but i was the worst in high school because i was too old to behave this way no wonder i had no friends.
i have two stories that i have been thinking about today that make me cringe physically and they're both fueled by my oblivion to social norms in addition to my attraction to girls, I'm sharing them here to get it off my chest and hopefully out of my mind for the time being.
>first story
i have a crush on a classmate who is mean to me and only keeps me around because i was so insane it entertained her, she had an older sister in school with us that had vitiligo and was generally sickly, as a result, my classmate was very protective of her older sister and really cared for her and i was crushing on the classmate which i didn't know at the time i drew pictures of us together and made her lunchboxes and was too nervous to look her in the eye… blushing, heart racing were some of the things i felt when i was around her plus my heart was beating through my vagina the most embarrassing thing i did with no good reason was going to the sanrio store (i was retarded) and spending 1/2 of the money i had on gifts for the older sister for graduating plus a small gift for my friend, i never had a real conversation with the sister or knew what was she into, i even wrote a gift card, i just got her what i thought would be appropriate which wasn't. i went to my classmate with the big fat giftbag with flowers peaking and gave her, she hugged me because she thought it was hers and i had to tell her that its not and the way she looked at me was so confusing, i never knew how to read expressions then but i knew that was not a happy look, she kinda became meaner to me and stopped talking to me and i did not know why for the life of me until it was very very late.
>second story
i managed somehow to get with the catty girls who are slutty on the downlow and it was fine, i learnt a lot from them and they were accepting of my weirdness.
there was this tomboy who hanged out with us sometimes and she was obviously not straight and i had the hots for her just like i had them for my classmate, they gossiped about her a lot, one time they were gossiping about how she's such a dyke and i agreed and told them that she is okay with the term i knew because i asked her before and told them that i'd ask her again for them, they assumed i was joking so they said yes and laughed it off but i actually did it and told her that it's for my friends, they went apeshit and bullied me for it for days and i really really couldn't fathom why were they so upset.
i always lost the friends i made for what i thought was no reason but i get hit with the realization years later, i can't explain why i was so naive up until college when i was supposed to be an adult.
Is anyone else still hesitant about getting the COVID vaccine? My mom has scared me from getting vaccinated due to telling me about people who have died because of getting it and is strongly against it, but with all the shaming and guilting of non-vaccinated people, I feel like I'm starting to succumb to peer pressure.
I'm starting to get skeptical myself however, because it seems like pretty much everyone who has gotten the vaccine is still getting COVID and spreading it. They're still making us do online classes at uni, too. What the hell is the point then? The vaccine looks like it's not doing anything (Especially with these newer variants) and it seems they won't let us ever return to normal at this point, whether we get vaccinated or not. All I see is vaccine propaganda. Also I'm in the U.S., where Americans tend to act like pretty big sheeple hypochondriacs, despite their extremely shady and scammy healthcare system, so this is another reason why I'm skeptical.
Anyone here ever identified as Bi but realised they are straight?
Feel i'm the only one sometimes
Dreams and wishes thread
Wanted to make a thread for us to write about stuff that we want. Could be:
- Attainable dreams
- Unrealistic dreams
- Stuff that you want for the long run, like a type of career, housing and moving plans, etc
- Stuff that you really just want right now, like a holiday, a cute set of clothings, food
- An imaginary setting in your head that you want and want to talk about, being it realistic or not, like imagine a life you wish you would have
And all the stuff in between, I guess.
Can't cope with aging
I never cared much about my appearance before, I never did makeup or invested in fashion or anything but as i'm nearing my mid twenties i'm starting to dread the day i no longer look youthful. I just can't accept that someday I'm gonna start wrinkling and sagging and that there's little I can do about it no matter how careful I try to keep my body healthy. I think aging is the cruelest thing because humans constantly thrive to be better versions of themselves as time passes and yet our bodies betray us, whenever you're a model or an athlete your body and performance is gonna start degrading because of aging and that's just a fact of life. I think about this several times a day every single day. I'm not looking for health and beauty advice, I have probably seen them all I'm trying to find solace in hearing from others who have this fear. I also want to know how older miners feel about aging and how they deal with these thoughts.
I don't think I'll ever be happy
My self-loathing is getting to be unbearable. I hate myself so, so much. I feel so much shame just for existing: I'm embarrassed when I eat, I'm embarrassed when I do things I enjoy, I'm deeply embarrassed by how I walk, talk, look, everything about me I hate and am ashamed of and I wish I were exaggerating or just being dramatic. People seeing me makes me want to disappear, looking in the mirror makes me want to cover them up. How do you help yourself if you truly don't feel like you deserve it? Doing "fun" things seems like a waste of time (though nothing has truly felt fun in years), self-care is a waste of time. The only times I strive for anything better is when I have someone directly in my life, like a romantic partner, pushing me to do those things. I worry I am broken and a complete fuck up. I worry that I am a waste of time, space, and energy, and I feel so so SO bad for the people in my life that have to put up with me. I feel like I'm disabled by how much I hate myself. I've had some unpleasant experiences in my life,, sure, but nothing that I feel would warrant me feeling so extremely about myself, it feels like I'm just broken and shouldn't have been born and given the opportunity to one day pass on my shitty genes. It seems like it would be better to kill myself. I've been on medications since I was 13 and nothing has ever made me feel content, I've stopped them all now and feel the same. I feel like I really am a hopeless case and that I shouldn't be here. I am miserable and I don't know how to fix it. I just want to be happy and to feel like I deserve the love people give me. I am as useful as a corpse.
a male who rejected me found out the day we agreed to hang out (tomorrow) was my birthday and wished me a happy early birthday. i hope he cuddles me and holds me tight again like usual, and maybe even lets me be his girlfriend for the day
Are you suicidal?
How do you anons plan to die if you are killing yourself?
Do you think you will likely an hero and is there a reason beyond life just being shit?
im falling in love with a male i met on /soc/ . he adores me and is the sweetest. however i can't stop being afraid that it won't last, like other relationships haven't.
how do i get past this feeling, and enjoy the present without worrying about the future?
Paralysis
Share your struggles with this weird feeling I can only describe as social paralysis.
I'll start.
I used to have a fairly big friend group in highschool. We were into the same outcast-y things, such as anime, punk and rock music, k-pop etc. None of these things were popular at the time, not with most teens at least, so having a bunch of girls into them felt like hitting the jackpot for me.
I didn't think I had much to offer but they liked me, and I liked them too, but I had a boyfriend at the time, was struggling a lot with mental health and was addicted to the internet. All these factors stole way too much of my time and energy, so I ended up hanging out with them very little.
Some started to resent me for that. Eventually, we parted ways and I haven't heard from any of them since the end of highschool.
Until one day I somehow reconnected with two of my closest friends from that time. But "reconnecting" is a big word. I simply chatted with them a bit, hanged out three times at most, and somewhat improved the relationship. We're now on friendly terms, and that's it.
I do want friends. I can have friends, and I basically have friends and can make more through them. But I'm paralyzed. I don't know why but there's this wall I don't manage to cross to truly connect with them emotionally, amd to actually live the friendship.
I fantasize about doing things and going places and having fun with them but when it comes to actually developing these relationships, making plans to go out and all, I freeze. I don't feel like doing it, and I can't even say why.
There's an upcoming concert of a band all of us loved and it will probably be my only chance of seeing it live ever. I want to make plans with them and the other girls to go and I don't want to go alone and I want to have fun and make memories but I'm absolutely frozen and not lifting a finger to make this happen. I really want to and at the same time I really don't, even though I know I would regret it.
This is very confusing and frustrating to me. I wish I could be normal.
am i just doomed to be emotionally incomplete because of my parents? this makes so much fucking sense. my parents did this exactly. literally exactly as it’s written and i just hate how accurate it is. i’m always so fucking nervous about people liking me and it’s because of this. when i was a kid my parents never did anything with me, and would ground me constantly. i can’t believe they grounded me for having bad grades in elementary school. i was grounded if i didn’t have all A’s even though the school told them i had massive learning disabilities. the neighborhood was playing outside but i was locked in my room for months, only being allowed out for meals or to go to school. when my dad found out i was cutting when i was 14 he told me he would ground me if i kept doing it. that hurt me so much. it let me know he cared about other peoples view of him than me being upset enough to hurt myself. when i was 17 they finnaly woke up after an attempt and took me to a therapist but they pulled out and actually sued him when he told them that their parenting methods were very frightening. i’m older now, i’ve moved out and i don’t talk to them anymore. they’ve begged me to let them into my life but i’m not going too. i just hate thinking that my emotional personality has been sculpted and i didn’t even realize it.
BPD
Borderline personality disorder, or literal fucking demons in human form. I did not find a thread discussing this specifically but yell at me if there is one.
I'm the embodiment of every single negative stereotype of BPD (and bisexuality) and I have basically ruined my life. Idk if I should honestly just end it.
Can't stop thinking about someone
Ok, I had many crushes, I had many heartbreakes, felt awful after some of them. But never experienced something like that. Recently my long-time coworker has left resignation on manager's desk.
We were working on the same shift for years. I am pretty sure I never felt any kind of romantic involvement towards him, I don't know even if he liked me (he was kind for everybody, always turning everything bad into jokes, never saw him really angry), moreover he is 10 years younger than I do (38 here). Let's just say, I considered him to be the coworker I really liked, felt consantly better just when I entered my job and saw him.
Information, that he is going to leave, struck me harder than I ever expected it would. For 2 weeks now I can't get over realization, that if I ever see him again, it could at most be accidental meeting in the city. I think it over, and over and over again.
What is it? If it's a crush after all, why does it feel so different than all the other ones? Almost no "butterflies in stomach", but dejection when it is coming to an end really feels like one.
i cant stand my irls friends anymore
i know its kinda dumb and maybe ungrateful to think that way since they are the only friends i have irl but i cant stand they anymore fr i cant connect with them. i dont feel like myself around them. i mean they all have jobs and boyfriends and go to church how can i hold a conversation with girls like this? i hate myself for feeling this way
Do you feel weird fantasizing around others?
I love to fantasize and I do it all day, but it feels really awklard doing it outside of home. I feel as if people can read my mind and make fun of what I fantasize about. Anyone having the same feeling?
Masking
Any advice on not being yourself? Just being in social situations with new people can be difficult for me, like for most people it is probably but in my case I'm wondering if there are anything little bits of advice i can take on board to look good in front of normies even just to score a good first impression.
will my mother ever respect me?
my mother hyperfixates on my looks a lot. i admit it, i'm not good looking, i'm not tall and i'm obese (5ft, 147 lbs). but she talks about it everyday. i'm not kidding when i say EVERYDAY I MEAN EVERYDAY since the last 5 years. She goes to the gym, she restricts her diet but orders food at night. she gets mad when i dont eat the shit that she orders. she literally takes out all her frustrations on me. last month she wrote " i'm so disappointed in my daughter, she is fat" and she SHOWED THAT TO ME. i have tried everything to shut her up. i have embarrassed her in public once by screaming at her because she kept telling me that no clothes other than L size will fit me. i have started going to college, i go outside a lot for the past two weeks but she still doesn't shut up. i have made it perfectly clear to her that i dont want to fucking hear it but she has no respect for me. i have done so much for her. i have always stood up for her in front of my asshole dad, i have supported her business, i have never told her to give up, i told her i'll keep supporting her when i start earning. but she doesn't do anything for me. she pressured me into pursuing a career in stem with my dad. she pressures me into whatever she wants with no regard to my feelings. day by day i feel like i should just fucking cut off after i move out of this city. but i feel bad for thinking this way plus it feels ridiculous to make such a decision just because she calls me fat. my dad will never take care of her.
but it feels hopeless to feel like i'll ever be loved by my mother unless i fit into whatever shape she has in mind for me. should i just give up?
Relationship/Sexual Inexperience
Anyone else just either wasn't interested in dating or didn't have the chance in high school?
I'm 21 and have 0 dating or sexual experience. I had a few guys interested in me over the years, but I really had no interest in dating at that point. Having someone in my life in that way feels incredibly off. I'm not the most social person in the world and it picturing having a boyfriend makes me uncomfortable. I have never kissed or held hands with a boy. Just hugged. My parents are very religious Catholics so that probably factored in as well.
Is this gonna bite me in the ass sooner or later? It's honestly embarrassing around female friends because they talk about their boyfriends or sexual experiences sometimes and it makes me feel abnormal. People always say it's good to be a virgin as a female, but it's not. It's awkward and makes me feel weird or less human. Why don't I crave relationships or sex like everyone else? The idea of a one night stand is terrifying to me as well, I've never gone to a bar or anything like that.
Anyone else in my position and is just terribly "innocent" and inexperienced in life? I literally consider answering some Craigslist ad at least every few days because it seems like an easy way to throw away my v-card and is not socially demanding.
I can't find a female friends that I have fun with, only my male friends make me have fun and I hate men and I feel bad about feeling like that. Also, I feel like everyone is a fucking degenerate and disgusting I just want to be able to like people, any tips?
Sisterhood
I wanted to share this sweet article and photo shoot about "Chosen Sisters" - https://www.npr.org/sections/pictureshow/2022/01/25/1061334613/lucia-vazquez-chosen-sisters-buenos-aires
>Have ever you had a "chosen sister" before?
>What made you two so close?
>Do you think you'll always be close as sisters?
Haven't been the same ever since I was stalked
Some background information: I am an 18 years old, and turned 18 this past November. I got employed at this ice cream shop in summer of 2021, when it was just opening, and I was 17 years old.
I am a very petite woman, I am 4'6 and thin. I have a pretty youthful face as well.
This is a small ice cream shop, opened summer 2021. The staff is all female (the male coworkers I had quit, we had 4,) but my manager/franchise owner is 24 and a nice guy. No creepy advances on us and we all get along well. The staff are anywhere from 16-20 years old, so at any hour of the day, its pretty much just 2-5 teen girls working and running the shop. My manager comes in every so often, but not daily, and not for more than an hour or two at a time. We also close late, and sometimes I get home at 1:00 AM on weekends. 12:00 on schooldays.
My job requires me to be very chatty, which comes naturally to me. We take orders and serve them, treating customers like old friends, etc etc. It's gimmicky overall, but I am genuine when I talk with customers. I've loved my job since I got it. It's my second home.
In August, when I was still 17, a man in a sheriff's uniform, anywhere from his late 50's-early 60's came in. He drove a normal car. Not a cop car, just a white mercedes.
Because I'm a server, I chatted with him while we prepared his order. It was kind of complicated, so we talked for a few minutes. It was also a slow time of day, (my job is often slow, especially fall-winter,) so he ate at the counter to talk to me while my coworker was doing other stuff.
He asked me innocent enough stuff, like my age. He said, "You look too little to be working here! How old are you?" to which I answered honestly. He was just a friendly old guy. Old folks tend to be chatty customers, so I didn't think much of it. He asked me what church I go to, and I answered. It's a big suburb of a huge city, so I didn't figure he'd know it. He then asked me where it was located, which I thought was a bit funny, but I answered anyways. Not with the address, but I gave him the general area. He thought for awhile and then ask me if I drove, to which I answered yes. In retrospect this should have all been obvious, I feel so dumb typing this out. But please, please try to understand that it truly felt like he was just a chatty old customer at the end of his workday. Our store is by a police station, so it seemed natural. And he was a cop. I felt naturally inclined to trust him.
He got his ice cream and left after asking my name. He said he loved the ice cream and would come back soon, and said I was a sweet girl. I waved bye and didn't see him until the next weekend I worked. He had also given me a $5 cash tip, which was more than the item he ordered. He made sure I pocketed it instead of putting it in the jar.
The next weekend he came, I greeted him familiar, and called him officer. We chatted for awhile while his order was made and we caught up on the week. He said his job is stressful, and he sees the worst of people, and how filthy they are. I was kind of surprised at his tone shift, but comforted him with some words. He seemed to perk back up. He asked my birthday, which was coming up pretty soon, it was September now. I answered it was November X, and he asked if I had a car. I laughed and said yes, and he asked what type of car it was. I stupidly told him the color and brand of my car. He joked and said he would buy me a car for my birthday, and I laughed it off. Apparently it wasn't a joke, because he seemed a little upset I laughed, so I corrected myself and said it was sweet of him. He gave me his phone number, made me write it down, and told me to text him my schedule every week. He said he wanted to see me more often because I was his 'little friend.'
When I went home and mentioned the thing about the car to my mom, she frowned and said it was weird, and I shouldn't take his orders anymore. I didn't understand why she said this at the time. I guess her intuition was way better than mine.
He came in a few more times and things went similarly. He was always agitated I had 'forgotten' to text him my schedule for the week. I saw him the day after Halloween, and he seemed happy to be getting ice cream. I asked him how his Halloween was, and his mood shifted like a switch. He went on a very emotional rant about how much violence and rape and murder he sees on Halloween, and how dangerous working Halloween is. It was not what I was expecting. I consoled him and talked about how I'm glad he didn't get hurt at least. He made a final remark on how disgusting people are inside, and took his ice. He talked to me kindly for another few minutes, with his demeanor back to normal, being a nice old man. He wished me well and said he was glad that sweet people like me existed. I laughed it off and thanked him, and said he was way too sweet. I always called him officer. He then said I should at least get his name, since we're friends now, and he asked if I wanted to call him his first or last name. I'm from the south, so I chose to call him by his last name. He seemed barely disappointed but I shrugged it off. I'm stupid. His rant got the attention of my coworker, who looked at me after he left and just asked me "Are you okay?"
I said yes. The personality shift had been weird, but I excused it on him having a stressful night. I am very stupid.
The week passed and I came in again a couple days later. My shift lead pulled me aside and asked me if I knew a customer who fit his exact description. Vehicle, uniform he always wears, appearance. I said yeah and described my experiences with him.
She told me that he always comes in on days I don't work, asking to know my schedule, and getting extremely agitated and angry at the staff when they say they can't tell him, and I'm not there. She told me that he calls me 'his little girlfriend,' and that he's gonna get me a job at the police station so I don't have to work a minimum wage job anymore. He leaves, very upset, and does that every couple of days. My other coworker came in and agreed, saying she had experienced him doing that when I wasn't there too. She also said that he calls me "his little girlfriend, the cute one who looks like she couldn't be any bigger or older than middle school."
I was kind of horrified, I had NO idea he was saying any of that. My shift lead was shocked I didn't know he was like that, and decided to tell the owner. She and my owner came in and said he may be a fake cop as well, based on the car and everything. I'm still not sure.
The same week, he came in. Same routine. He said I should clock out and grab lunch with him. I laughed and said no, and was uncomfortable and scared, but hid it. I told him I couldn't walk out and leave my coworkers here by themselves, even though I was alone for another hour. He seemed upset by that but left.
That same week, two days later, I was in an emptyish parking lot on the wrong side of town, earlier in the morning. A man flagged me down across the parking lot, screaming "miss, wait, miss!" trying to grab my attention. I was out of my car and ran back to it and got in, shutting the doors. I cracked my window a sliver because he was shouting and talking to me. He asked if I could get out, and help him make a phonecall using my phone. I was really confused, his behavior was erratic and strange. I said no, sorry, and rolled my window up. He started yanking on my door handle and I sped off. A car peeled out of the parking lot at the same time I was leaving, and tried following me, but got stopped at a really big 4-way stop intersection. I drove around for half an hour before going home and telling my mom, who chalked it up to him being some tweaker. It felt a lot more sinister. I know this is so overdramatic, and probably a coincidence, but I don't think I can describe how scary it was. I noticed the car that tried following me out of the lot was a car that had also followed me to my destination. I know it was probably coincidence, but I was so scared. It felt so sinister.
That same day, I was home alone. It was the afternoon and I had left and came back, I was gone about an hour. When I came back my dog was restless and following me everywhere, which was a little strange. I also noticed bad smells by my front door. When I walked outside, there was a pile of dead rodents, and a few strewn around next to my patio. I immediately locked all the doors and went inside. We dont have cats or anything that wouldve done that.
And because he was allegedly, and I think he was a real cop, I never said anything about it. I was terrified. I think it was related to him, the animals and the guy trying to yank my car door open. He ran across the parking lot to try and catch me. I was also parked close enough to the car that peeled out to where I could have been dragged into it. I feel insane. Am I connecting dots that don't exist? I couldn't tell the cops. He's a cop.
Over the next two weeks I occasionally caught his car driving through my neighborhood. I think he found my address by running my plates since he knows the car I drive. His windows are tinted, so maybe I was imagining things, but it was the exact same car.
Then it all stopped. He came to my work for the first time in weeks recently, out of uniform. He was not chatty. He was very quiet, and angry seeming. He told me he "quit his job to retire." He seemed very uncharacteristically dark and quiet. I was scared but I served him anyways, and told him I hope retirement is good to him.
I haven't been the samew since this all happened. I have been so paranoid. I have dropped out of in-person classes. I still work there, but always in the back room. I always park under lights. I don't shower for over a week sometimes because the thought of not hearing a break-in because of the running water scares me. I'm terrified. I don't like being alone anymore.
I used to be a confident, chatty, outgoing person. I don't know what happened. I did this to myself, the anxiety, and worrying, but I feel suffocated. I feel so afraid. I know nobody read this because I rambled for way way too long, but I need this off my chest. I'm petrified most days now, even though I know it's overdramatic and irrational. How do I become the person I was before this? I feel like a shell, a damaged mirror's reflection of who I was. Someone please tell me how to stop being scared.
Sometimes I go swimming with my clothes on because it feels kinda nice.
There's something about the added weight and the way clothes float around that makes it weirdly comfortable and relaxing, but I've never been able to discover why.
I've never met anyone else who does it. People usually think I'm religious or something, but I actually just like the sensation.
Does anyone else do this?
thats it. all of you were right. i left this board awhile ago because i was tired of seeing sad, angry, or fucked up posts from the usual lot about men. or some form of penishaver. i got into a relationship with one. i thought it would be ok. i was wrong. i literally cannot cope more than i am right now i am shaking with violent rage.
they want to do nothing but fuck and smoke all day and then have the audacity to call you lazy right back in your face when its most convenient to them to play as though they are more successful, powerful, motivated, than you are. there is not a singular conversation that is not rooted in ego, pride, his shame, his guilt, his 'trauma', his depth, and you must abide by the hurt from the past wrongdoings of supposed bitches, ex-girlfriends. while he can tiptoe around your similar pain and see no wrong in treating you as an equal. an equal to berate, yell at, scorn, dispute, for not having as many career or life opportunities has he.
hes struggled, you haven't even suffered as much as he has, always, and you can never refute or make him make you an equal in true essence.
you are simply another peer to flex his manhood upon. i was wrong to think it could ever be otherwise.
if this sounds like the ideal circle of hell you would like to be subjected to, i highly recommend finding a local chud.
does anyone else suffer from chronic DPDR?
how does one escape this suffering
Cluster A/Schizo/Bipolar venting thread, so we can talk without normies getting their panties on a twist because >durr take your meds skitzo!!1!
No baiting/larping/trying to induce paranoid thoughts. Bee nice.
Is it normal to not love your parents?
They're more like shitty sadistic roommates than parents. I just sort of live with them. They don't torture me or anything, but I feel like they didn't even raise me. They're just people that I can't get rid of.
Is it bad that I want to move out and cut all contact, for no other reason than, you know, they're just some assholes I live with?
My aspergers has made university a living hell. I can't fit in, people already know there's something wrong with me. I don't bother anybody or try to stand out, they just avoid me. It really fucking stings
Can any other spergs lend advice? I know I'll never be normal and it's probably too late for me but I'm sick of being like this
MDMA and Depression
I took MDMA for the first time over a week ago. For background, I have severe depression and PTSD. I took MDMA in an extremely safe way - with supplements and alone in a house with one other person. It was an extremely positive experience and I felt pretty good a couple of days after - hopeful about how life could be. Now, a little over a week later, I feel miserable knowing I have spent the last decade of my life in complete misery and that I still continue to live my life that way. I really don't know if I can do it anymore. I feel so hopeless. I just want to kill myself. I feel like I have no one I can actually express my emotions to and I just want this pain to be gone. For the past decade, I have gone to sleep every night praying to not wake up and being genuinely upset, miserable even, that I am not dead. My main problem is that I don't know how to curate a peaceful suicide for myself. That's all I want.
I don't want anything else. I just want to die peacefully. I know I will never have a neutral-happy life experience. I am alive, but I am not living. I am so exhausted.
>be in a 4 people gc
>the other 3 people write about meeting up together specifically without me
>assume it's for a group project for uni
>someone sends a sc of another gc with three people in it and 2.0 in name and with people's names blurred out
>be the 4th person added to the original gc
>connect the dots
am I a schizo? we've only known each other for a few months because we met at uni and they're all introverted and it makes me wonder if my personality is too loud and everyone just puts up with me because it would otherwise be awkward irl? it doesn't make a lot of sense because they're nice to me but I keep thinking of small things that could be proof that everyone is sick of me I'm sensing betrayal everywhere am I just going insane?
I don't feel as if I should exist.
I have a intuition that my birth was a mistake. Everything in my life feels forcefull, people always screaming at me, fighting around me, I wish I could just enjoy life. There are so many things I want to do, but I don't think I'll live long enough to do all of them. I wish I could find somebody to love me innocently to tell me I'm needed and not a mistake.
work thread
ITT: we discuss frustrations at our jobs whether you were wronged or you yourself messed up
NEETS need not reply
I feel the sadness of every woman who has ever lived.
I'm not sure in which board I should post this but I hope this is the right one.
Yesterday I hooked up with someone in my town, it was my first time having sex. The thing is, I wasn't even horny the least bit. She touches me but it didn't do anything for me. And men are even more out of the question for me. I was super horny a few weeks ago when I was hypomanic and I masturbated and coomed like 6 times, but now it's like all my lust has evaporated. I'd also like to add that I don't feel any lust for her when we met up. But I'm also on antidepressants and antipsychotics. What is the root of my problem? Why wasn't I horny? Did all that masturbating killed my libido? Can someone who regularly has sex help me out
I fucking hate my dad
This motherfucker is always the best at everything. Always happy, calm, enthusiastic, productive, smart etc. Being around him is killing all last hopes that i can excel in life. I am so tired of him bullying me when i can't do or see something he can, or when i fail to notice some mistake. He killed my desire to continue studying this major (cs), because i know i never will excel at it when i'm bullied for every mistake. And at the same time he wants me to proceed with this major. I am very much into urbanism for the past 2 years and i wish i could do urban planning, but my mom says i have no social skills and have too much pride, so I can't go into government, therefore i should be a programmer. I am so tired of this household. I actually have no social skills and have autism and cannot pursue my dream job. Fml
If I can't be normal I don't want to live.
Girl friends
I haven’t had a friend in a long time. I’m not really the whiny tfw no bf/friend type but it really sucks a lot. I started uni this year thinking that I could make friends with other weird girls but no dice, lonelier than ever. The lack of social interaction has contributed a lot to my mental state which is already awful, I’m prone to psychosis and I keep having #crazygirl moments all the time. The only people who interact with me are men who want to take advantage of me sexually and it’s extremely depressing. Wish I had an empathetic female friend to talk to and cuddle and be weird and have fun with. Le sigh, why does life have to be so cruel to anyone who is slightly different. Pic unrelated.
I hate that my voice cracks occasionally from time to time even though I’m a 24 yearold biological female, why must I sound like I’m going through puberty at random times as my voice cracks during midway through a conversation?
Started my training/practicum at my first shot at a real career/in the real world and workforce. This job I’m in really depends on interpersonal and social skills (both which I really lack and never got the chance to develop ever) to an extent I can kinda fake it?… but only in small instances or circumstances. I guess I also didn’t have to “fake it” too much since up until now I haven’t had to have or experience any kind of social interaction with people outside of my family household.
Long story short is I’ve been a chronically depressed (possibly autistic) hermit for my entire life and have had no social life or friends or boyfriend, and now I’m attempting to have a career in the real world but my management said I lack “enthusiasm” and that I allegedly don’t socialize with my coworkers when I should be. My management also claimed that I appear “startled” when they approach me to say hi to me when I come into work/training. They also claim they think I “zone out” or possibly dissociate (when they said zone out I assume it’s me dissociating tbh) when I’m at work.
Also I’m a teacher, or I’m in training right now to be one.
>be me, 18
>chronically depressed
>socially anxious, no friends
>contemplate suicide daily
>years of therapy yield miniscule progress
>math teacher one day, completely unprompted: "You know, I think anonette has really reached her high point in life. Don't you agree guys?"
>Entire class stares at me
He didn't even hate me. He seriously thought that was a compliment.
Why do NTs do this?
I get disturbed by reading smut or just anything having to do with sexual content
It's disgusting but many people today are in it, I feel weak but I just feel like shit whenever I do try reading anything remotely sexual
Periodic feelings of emptiness
How do you deal with it?
Hello guys, there has been something strange happening to me that kinda left me friendless.
I can't bare being with my "friends", I used to have a normie friends group that we used to go to parties like every Friday and stuff. It was my only female group, it consisted my "best friend" and 2 more girls. Once we stopped going to parties (quarantine and I got a boyfriend and honestly I never was a party person I was just going for the girls) we kinda drifted apart some drama happened now and there and when I go out with them I feel uncomfortable like there's a cold feeling I can't describe. We never really shared anything. I'm like okay I'll just talk to my other friends that kinda like anime and are the same with me. Sameish cold feeling??? Wtf what is wrong with me I feel like everyone is cold and I have a very weird uncomfortable feeling I can't describe. I just want some female friends that are kinda like me watch anime, play games and I know most of you if not all of you are like that and having you guys as my friends would really help me but we can't share our contact info and it's such a lost potential of many great friendships…
Vent Thread
Previous thread >>66074
>Male shows interest in me
>We talk
>some other red flags are there
>I am honestly scared of him and I don't want to be the one ending things because I am afraid it will be very complicated for some reasons I cant disclose here
How to make him stop liking me? I want moving on from me to be his decision.
How to fix an anxious attachment
I am struggling with an anxious attachment style and a severe fear of abandonment/being alone.
I'm currently in a relationship and have made the relationship into my entire life, which I realize is stupid, but I mostly did it out of fear of abandonment and because of codependency issues. I have no real social life outside of my relationship. I just got a job but I still hardly know how to socialize anymore.
The main thing I'm worrying about currently is my inability to talk about things and set boundaries without being plunged into extreme fear that he will leave me. I got a little upset at him today over something (can explain if anyone wants) and he didn't seem mad, but now he hasn't responded to me in a while and I'm just terrified that I seemed controlling and convincing myself that he has been more distant lately.
tldr Has anyone dealt with an anxious attachment style and effectively dealt with it and if so how?
I wish I was a guy
I often fantasize about being a guy. Everything would just be so much easier. I would just be seen as a baseline normal human by society and not an object of sexual desire. I don't like being asked out by men. It always seems so weird to me:
>You don't know me! Why are you asking me out? You know nothing about me, my interests, my hobby, my personality. Why do you act interested in me? Why not just get to know me first? You are obviously only interested in me because "muh dick".
cruel revenge
I need to get cruel revenge on my boyfriend. What do I do? It wouldn't matter too much if I fucked someone else.
i just want to lose the weight already
i've been a lower weight than this before, yet somehow i can't break whatever mental barrier i have. any time it comes to food my body goes into autopilot. i open my eyes and the food is eaten. it's so embarrassing. i've even relapsed into bulimia before fixing this issue… controlling food intake is the only thing that keeps me balanced and i've lost control.
i'm not fat by any means but i want to apply myself for once and lose this weight so i can at least have a body that i would like, or to know that i have control over something in the world. i feel like i'm at my wit's end. i know it's up to me to fix it and have discipline but i'm searching for mental tricks or some fucking way to restrain myself. i just want to be pretty and live this new year differently..
i'm depressed, rotting in my room and a near college dropout. i just want this one thing for myself. it hurts.
petty boyfriend family drama
hey girlies, I need to write about this because at this point I'm going BALLISTIC and INSANE over my boyfriends' dad. I need to know if I am giving a normal response and need advice. To help me out, I will green text it
>NYE, I am in London at the time with my family spending the night until the 1st
>My boyfriend decides to go to a public moshpit - he is into Carti bla bla rap (which isn't relevant)
>He really wants to go but to avoid the chance his parents disapproval over it, he lied to say he was going to mine
>Normal stuff you'd expect at a moshpit happened, he made some friends all studying medicine at universities
around and a little drinking, he starts to make his way back at 7ish
>The closest train station from his to mine is a 7 minute walk from mine, he walks back my way
>He realises his dad is waiting outside mine to probably walk back
>Boyfriend makes quick excuse saying that he went to the tescos to get food
>Dad believes him, they go home
>Next day when we come back we go skateboarding together, boyfriend goes out to collect his skateboard
and comes back where I am waiting 2 minutes away round the corner to him being angry. He tells me that
I'm not allowed to come back to the house and that they found out something bad and that them and his dad is angry
>comes home after skateboarding and he finds out only a couple hours later why they are angry at him
>Finds out dad found out that he lied about going out to see me
>Dad and boyfriend don't talk for days and my boyfriend is feeling more low and low as it pasts until his dad tells him how they feel over text and not in person
>dad does bitch-fit the next days and comes home at 11pm average everyday, doesn't talk to him, doesn't go into his room
It's day 8 and boy-oh-boy he's making me so mad as to why he's getting a tantrum over something so little, I think my real breaking point is that when I left his house, I went to say goodbye and his dad completely ignored me, like wtf? that's so rude. Please can someone tell me what I can do, I've tried and my boyfriend said that his dad told him he's not gonna be the same ever. God I just wanna bash my skull in
Last year or so I made a attempt to end my life and ended up in mental hospital
Got anti psychotics for 2 months straight and after I got out I was addicted to them
I gained about 8 kg
My boyfriend always told me how much he hates that I take them so I stopped cold turkey for him
One month later he told me while he was on ecasy how much he hates that I gained weight and that he also hates my skin eye and hair color
Developed bulimia and only managed to gain 2kg
I'm now a bit over 140lbs or so
I feel terrible almost everyday what do
yesterday I stole a Triazolam blister from my grandparents' house. I had terrible anxiety today and so I took it. When my bf found out and made me admit it he forced me to toss every pill in the toilet and seemed upset. I think he's overreacting, saying that those drugs are very dangerous and easy to abuse. He did the say thing when a month ago something similar happen and I stole Ambien (I didn't get to take it then) saying it was even more dangerous. He also says these drugs dont actually solve anxiety and mak things worse, and I cant self medicate by taking this without a valid reason and a doctor. This made me very upset and I think he's overreacting, am I in the wrong?
I think im a genetic defect and that i cant escape this fate. There is nothing good or conventional about me and the way my mind works. The only way to control my intrusive thoughts is with meds that deteriorate my brain and/or through dissociating. I wish i wasnt myself but someone else completely whos physically wired a different way. How do i start believing in free will? Every time i look in the mirror i am reminded that i cant change these physical qualities.
Everyone on CC hates me
I just can't shake off the feeling that everyone can tell when it's me posting, and chooses to ignore me or secretly make fun of me on this website.
I can't post without think everyone is saying
>there she goes again, that idiot! when will she shut up? she has no clue we know!
It's not limited to CC, I get this feeling in other chans/disc*rd too, but here it's particularly strong. I'm sure there has to be some kind of marking I can't see that everyone else can, to differentiate me from other posters without me knowing. Especially with some particular posts made in this site, they seem to be directed to me in a very mean and mock-y way.
IDK, I just feel sad because I really want to get along with you all, and I can't help feeling self conscious knowing none really likes me.
i am in a relationship where i feel deeply unsatisfied at times. i feel that my boyfriend can lack patience, discretion, and doesn’t pay enough attention to me. he talks to other women on apps for sexting purposes but i don’t feel included (it turns me on in a way i don’t really understand yet). maybe he’s scared or something because i’m the type of girl to freak out about my own feelings. i’m really shit at processing them because i’m a pretty judgmental and lazy person. we have conversations and we do have fun. we are deeply compatible. he’s important to me. i just feel burnt out and he told me he doesn’t miss me. but then he tells me he misses me once i am ready to leave and spend time with my dad. i can tell he’s sick of me and that i’m not wanted. i know he loves me though. i need to just get away from him for a while. but not for too long because i promised him to help him with setting up his bed and make him a pie. i’ve spent so much time with him. i don’t want to cheat on him or anything like that. sometimes i feel resentment and would like to scream for a while, but i really do love him. a lot of my problems come from my own insecurities. he called me a loser when we first started dating and i haven’t forgotten that. he also called me a pet. he doesn’t want that, of course. i don’t have friends i see anymore. my interactions are parasocial and are with men. i struggle with following directions because i have pride issues (like using a dishwasher right, using correct form in yoga, and at worst: holding a job). i’m terrified of other women and they make me cry. i’m unhappy with myself, which makes me unhappy with others. i’ll be 25 next year and i still want to be a hatsune miku/chi from chobits/whatever anime character i’m larping archetype. it can get cringe when i think too much about it, but anime has influenced me heavily in life. i’ve isolated myself for too long. i wish i could jump off from somewhere and crack my head open, but i know deep down i have potential to be whatever i want to be. life genuinely excites me when i stop being anal about everything. how do you let go of being in control and balance that with being self-reliant? that’s so hard for me. it’s like either i’m in deep control or i’m completely off the grid and rotting in my mom’s living room, vicariously living through anime openings from the mid 2000s. maybe i just have to believe in myself and just subscribe to to the pressures of society: “glowing up”, getting a job, and being unbothered. i don’t know. i could use a friend who isn’t male for once either. i just need to get over my fear of women. they scare the living shit out of me. maybe that’s what this all is. i don’t know. it’s never one thing for me. it’s just agonizing and pervasive. weed helps, but i do it too much. i don’t know where i’m going with this. i’m just typing. thanks for reading all of this if you had the attention span to.
Feel like if my parents were normal and competent enough, they would and should have had my older sister killed at birth or awhile ago. She’s 32 and has the brain function of a child and mentality of a child, I don’t know if it’s narcissisism per say, but my older sister just only thinks of herself and is also very guillible. She didn’t graduate highschool due to being placed in “special classes” which she said she hated because she felt stupid. She has been diagnosed with a learning disability a long time ago but I’m not sure what, ontop of that she has a deteriorating health condition that essentially immobilizes her arm movement and sometimes she can’t even get out of bed.
She’s also suicidal or used to be, i don’t think anymore but idk, I think she would wanna die more that anything
I was never a “normal weight girl” or “skinny girl” I’m over it but I wish I could be a healthy weight for once. Ive been struggling with my body weight since I was 5. I was told by many doctors I was a “morbidly obese child who’s at risk of diabetes type 2” which I really was. My mother tells me I used to binge eat eat as a child and chug bottles of 2 litre Pepsis and eat whole boxes of Oreos to myself when I arrived home from school. Can’t even look at photos of myself as a child (for various reasons, but the weaker reason being I was a morbidly obese child) I had to wear boys clothes all the time because cute girl clothes never fit me, I felt so disgusting. But essentially it doesn’t matter, so I endured all the pain and suffering for nothing. I’m 23 now and I’ve lost 60 lbs, but it’s not saying much since I still have some stubborn fat in places I really hate (like my upper arms) my waist became quite small, but I have hated my upper arms for how fat they are for eternity. I’ll also add its not about guys, I’m asexual and a dick is the last thing on my mind, companionship would be nice though. It’s about me, it’s about feeling something I never got to feel, which is skinny or healthy.
I'm half mexican half white but i have a goblin black-tier nose and tan skin. I was thinking about getting a nose job and bleaching my skin after i lose some weight
Pic related is the ideal look I'm going for, I kind of feel guilty for wanting this. Does this mean I have internalized racism? or does it mean I just want to be more attractive.. idk
My therapist raised her voice at me and I didn’t defend myself, I feel like such a pussy girl. I don’t know if it’s because I like her too much which is rare because it’s hard for me to like people, and when I begin liking people I almost let them do or say whatever they desire to me. She raised her voice at me midsession when I told her the only time I don’t get anxiety is when I’m sleeping, she might have misunderstood this as my being sarcastic but I really was being honest. She raised her voice at me after this and said “Okay-UHHHH!!!” in a very meangirl sadistic way, it sounded so unlike her but for some reason it sounded like the “REAL” her, aka the her that she is outside of being a therapist. I feel like such a lil bitch for not standing up for myself. After she raised her voice at me, we sat in silence for a minute and then she kinda noticed I wasnt standing up to her so instead of apologizing, she “corrected” herself by going “okay 🥰 hmm” in the normal mommy gentle warm tone she uses with me, it was awkward because it was like she knew I wasn’t standing up for myself to her, so instead of saying sorry to me and confronting what she did, she instead said the same thing but in a different tone
General advice thread
I haven't found one in the catalog so I thought I'd make one so we don't have to make/derail threads with questions.
I am really worried that my boyfriend doesn't love me as much as he used to. He seems to be kinda absent-minded, when we are together. I fear the passion in our relationship is dying out. I still love him with all my heart, so it hurts to see how he is distancing himself from me. We don't hang out as much as we used to. He doesn't like texting, so I try to not text him as much anymore, even when I feel lonely. I often cry, because I fear a breakup is imminent.
I wish I was better at relationships. Better at seducing men, not being so emotionally dependent on them and making them addicted to me. I seem to have missed that class in girl school. I am just an awkward boring girl, that doesn't know what she's doing.
>trying to find a therapist for disordered eating
>"I am fat positive"
Fucking kill me I am slowly killing myself with this binge eating cycle I'm stuck in and don't want to hear fat positivity. I don't know If I can find a therapist with similar values
Toxic Behavior and Change
In the last two or so years I've noticed a drastic shift in my behavior when it comes to interacting with people - especially in groups or with strangers - where I'm either withdrawn and quiet at best, or outright arrogant and surrounded by an air of pompous grandeur and biting sarcasm at worst, and I don't really know how to change to be a more lighthearted, honest version of myself like when I was a teen.
I had a recent ex (they're unimportant but still relevant for context) who was a social go-getter, with one thing we shared in common being that we were both judgemental badmouthers and gossipers, and yet he was very socially successful and well-liked despite being goofy and honestly quite clumsy in social settings while keeping his rougher edges confined behind closed doors. Deep down I was very frustrated that he was so successful when I was clearly better than him socially with more emotional-intelligence and subtle charm, yet felt too insecure to address it because I thought of myself as better than some fool on the spectrum with a cocky attitude and so resorted to humbling his ego and calling out his own faults to compensate.
I think the fact that I have less and less of a filter as I get older is what is ultimately hurting me the most, possibly more so than the judgemental attitude itself? I have very high standards and expecations of others at this stage in my life (as I do of myself), but are they too high and do I need to get off my high horse? How do I learn to let my guard down when I'm absolutely terrified of being used and exploited by others like when I was younger?
My family acts like our dad is a normal nice dad even though he abused us and our mother for decades as he’s an alcoholic and abusive “father” I don’t know if it’s wrong or not that I reject my father when he tries to act like a normal dad to me when he isn’t, he tries to come around me and make casual conversation as if we’re normal father and daughter. The rest of my family however somewhat enables him in the sense that they can ignore the death threats; the physical scars and abuse he left on us and our mother? I don’t know, maybe I’m the crazy one? Forgive and forget, don’t really know. My mom is also a degenerate but she’s the easier one to love, I just love my mom so much ahhhh. Are there other anons here with equally both shitty narcissistic mom and dad? I feel like my moms my daughter sometimes, I’ve been told I “baby” her in a sense, but she deserves it because she’s never had it, I’m going to follow her to her grave
Ive genuinely never understood how people can stay so passive and not be completely crushed by how fucked up the world and people are. People tend to have strong worldviews but its like it only matters to them when the subject is brought up and otherwise it doesnt impact their life. Noone is shaken by the fact that everyone around them is putting on a facade and lying to eachother.
Dealing with paranoia (and other stuff)
I'm writing this on my phone, so excuse any typos, etc. I'll break this down in a couple paragraphs.
>Haziness
A month ago or so my mom asked me if I wanted to go on a vacation with her boyfriend and his family. I didn't want to, she made puppy eyes, said the stereotypical "it will be good for you!", and I ended up agreeing because I am a massive idiot.
A month passes, I regret ever saying yes, and just tell her I'll skip the trip this time. She's upset, we argue a bit, and she wins over me because I have no energy to even open my mouth and talk.
That's common these days; feeling heavy, slow in the head, all my thoughts slowly become muddier. I struggle to talk to people. There's nothing I want to say, there's nothing I want to do, there's nothing I can concentrate on. It's like I'm seeing the world through a layer of blurry glass; like I'm touching things with a heavy pair of leather gloves in my hands.
Having a proper conversation or reading a book seems unthinkable, it's so much effort I'd need to nap for 10 hours. Writing this, as it is, it's already very hard.
>Too many fucking people
Now, going back to the trip, what I didn't expect about this so-called vacation is being surrounded by so many strangers. Me, my mom, her boyfriend, and 10 fucking strangers in the house. I can barely tolerate being around my family without feeling paranoid, so you can imagine how I feel when I have to share a living space with people I never met before. I can't catch a fucking break and It's all taking a toll on me. I just feel… unsafe. They're all nice, sure, but I just can't stop thinking that it all must be a trap. I can't use the computer they have here, because I'm sure it's keylogged. I can't shower in peace, because I'm sure bugs will come out and cover my entire body (or, alternatively, one of them will open the door and yell at me.) I can't go out or look at any of them in the eye because I know what they think about me, how disgusted they are, how much they want me gone. It doesn't matter where I go or what time is it, there's always someone watching, listening, recording, waiting.
It's just terrifying and I want to rest so, so bad. Hell, I want to masturbate, but I can't because I know they will know. While I was writing this my phone turned off, how is that not a sign that they don't want me to publish this?
>My "boyfriend"
This whole me being stressed out all the time has been ruining my relationship, too. The other day I was calling on the phone with my boyfriend, I say "I wish you were here" and he replies "Why would you say that?" I was confused hearing this, and I just told him because I missed him and wanted to see him. Then, there's an awful noise on his end and the call abruptly ends. He messages me on a social media platform, saying that his phone died, but it all just seems wrong and bizarre to me. I can't help thinking something bad happened to him.
I decide to ask him about it, it went like this.
>anon's bf, why did you asked me why I said I missed you?
>what? I never said that, I told you I missed you too.
>no, I swear you said that. It really threw me off.
>no, babe, you probably hallucinated it.
WHAT. THE. FUCK?! How would HE know if I'm hallucinating? He has never implied something like this, my sanity was never in question ever before. Why now? Why like this? That's so out of character that just remembering it gives me chills. It almost makes me think he was swapped for someone else entirely.
>End credits
Thanks for reading those of you who got this far. I just needed to get this out. Any advice on how to ease my nerves will be well received!
Told my online discord male friend that I spent New Year’s Eve getting wasted of champagne (made for parties) by myself in my room playing video games with toxic people and being toxic in video games because I’m bitter and hate people being part of a group that I’ll never be accepted in, and he said that it’s probably the highlight of my year lol, he said it was sad and that he didn’t wanna hear about it .
phrases to use when standing up for myself?
Hi girls. Sometimes my bf will do or say something that I'm not comfortable with, and I get so scared of making him upset or worried that I don't tell him my feelings. I feel like it's easier to just accept it than break the barrier of voicing my thoughts. I also get scared to invite him to do things I think are fun because if he doesn't like it I'll just feel anxious and responsible for him not having a good time.
Obviously this is a problem and not sustainable but I literally don't even know where to start.
I grew up in an environment where telling people my needs didn't get me anywhere so now I feel like it's pointless. I don't want it to be a pattern in my relationships but I can't stop, it is drilled into my being to just accept whatever happens.
:( Help Me
feeling like a teenager
I'm about to turn 22 next year and it scares me
I'm in my first year of uni (dropped my previous major) and while there's only a two year difference between me and the others (some are old though) I can't shake the feeling that I'm so far behind them
They're renting their own flats while I'm living with my parents
I don't feel like an actual adult,
it's not that I'm emotionally stunted or something, I always felt more mature growing up and I believe it to be true to an extent
I find a lot of people my age and older to be immature and childish
But I don't feel like an adult, maybe it's because I was bullied growing up and didn't get to live out my teenage years?
I just feel like my youth is escaping me even though I'm doing all I can to make the most of it
I feel like I'm both sheltered and have been through too much
Maybe I'm just going to try online dating to pretend I'm like everyone else
help
my ex was a pillar of support for me and i got so attached to him i thought he was my soulmate and when we broke up i was depressed all month but its been like 7 months since we stopped talking and now he’s dating a fucking ugly disgusting waste of space whore and it’s not like i care about his ass anymore but i just want them to break up in the most traumatic way. any advice on how to make it happen :3 ? also she called me desperate and a slut even though i didnt so shit
Funny Feels
Can we have a thread to make our fellow sisters laugh? Post jokes, memes, funny videos, gifs, anything humorous!
Why am i such a loser? I feel like im going to waste my life but doing things is so hard for me. And all my friends (online) make fun of me and mock me.
This time of year is special for majority of folks, but it’s just arbitrary to me and I’m sure other anons on here too. It reminds me that each year has been the same for me, I move but I feel stagnant and numb. Nothing changes, I might change (physically, hair, lose weight, change my style, get a new career) but inwards I stay the same, numb and apathetic. I should be happy, I need to be happy? I’m privledged and I don’t mean the fake “white privledge” because it isn’t real, it’s just guilt. I haven’t felt anything since I can remember, all signs point me to death, ut feels like that you know? It’s like what is the universe or God telling me?… to die, he wants me dead, I’m void of emotion. It feels like I wake up just to wake up, I don’t even know if I’m alive sometimes.
I feel guilty about drinking beers every 2 weeks? I don’t drink every single day consecutively (despite me wanting to do this) but I sometimes go on light drunken benders at home by myself in my room, for example I once drank back to back 3 days straight (not the entire day just at night) and I had like 5 beers every night for those 3 days. Then I didn’t drink for a month. My family also guilts me into feeling bad for drinking a lot of alcohol despite our father being an abusive alcoholic. I haven’t drank for 2 weeks now and I’m trying to hold out until New Year’s Eve, so I can have my Prosecco 🍾 lol, alcohol is the only thing that brings me joy
weed addiction
I hate this, "hurr durr it's not addictive it's a plant bro, it's not a hard drug bro, lmao just take a hit" fuck off, I wasted years of my life and so much fucking money melting my brain so I wouldn't have to face reality because it was the only drug I had easy access to. you wouldn't say this shit to an alkie that drinks every day to cope, why is daily smoking not treated the same way? fuck anyone that laughs at those who say they're addicted. you may not get physically addicted like with hard drugs but it's 100% possible to be dependent on it mentally. christ on a cracker
>well over 33 years of age
>still single
At least I'm still good looking
Have any of you ever had a partner try and force non monogamy on you? How did you react?
Femininity
What appeal is there in femininity? Is there someone who was extremely misogynistic but overcame that?
I am unfortunate enough to suffer from a horrible case of internalized misogyny. I hate everything that has to do with women's approach and interests; when I see a person constantly make compromises, repeat that "we are all different ♡", it makes me associate them with weakness. When I see someone dressed pretty, it makes me associate them with vanity. Interests such as fashion, cutesy things, pretty boys, dancing, TV shows, Instagram, shoujo anime, YA books that many women love to read - they all have the same negative association. For example, picrel bothers me.
I want to cry everytime someone gives me a compliment on my appearance because I think they don't find anything good about me outside of the filth that is my body. I function normally otherwise, I have female friends that I appreciate, but I don't respect them. I feel like I am incapable of respecting femininity.
What the hell is wrong with me? What would make a woman think like an incel who one day woke up in a woman's body? How do I fix this?
You may also treat this as a general internalized misogyny thread. Share your stories, give advice.
contemplating immediate death.
>based my whole life around a guy that said he loved me once and then broke up with me after he got what he wanted, then led me on for 3 years.
>failed attempts because i was a pissy attention seeker
>about to graduate (im 18), i have no aspirations in life
>everyones moving on with life but i seem to be stuck having panic attacks over the past 10 years+
>ive been stuck on the same safe foods for months, i feel sick.
>raging alcoholic, ran out of alcohol.
>hate my body, always did.
>cant go to therapy, dont trust them after they called the police on me because i opened up about being raped
>im bound to die alone because i cant form bonds with anyone
>bpd is throwing me around to no end seeing i cant get any help and my parents been refusing it anyway, so even if i wasnt scared as shit i still wouldnt get any help
>could be a pornstar or a cam girl, but i would have to be attractive for that.
>hypersexualised myself my whole teen years because i was convinced i was unlovable after being used for only my body in the promise of being cared for
>i have too many things to complain about, ill end it here.
Christmas/Winter Venting Thread
Seasonal depression, long dark nights and dysfunctional families. It's a tough time for a lot of people, so here's a thread to vent for those struggling during the holidays.
social media anxiety
Help me out here. I barely use social medias but my normie friends are all over it. How do I even get into shit like SnapChat if I have barely anyone to add? I feel so pathetic trying to add people I know on somewhere like Instagram with a lousy 13 followers or something.
A guy in my class asked me out. He said he liked me a lot and he wanted to take me out to dinner. I was like a deer in the headlights. I said I liked him a lot too but I wasn't dating atm. I didn't really know what to say. He looked hurt. Afterwards the next day he tried to avoid me. The day after that he sat beside me and slipped me a note saying he was sorry for being cold but I was the first girl he ever asked out and didn't know how to handle rejection. Honestly, it was pretty cute and he is a sweet guy who is pretty good looking. I dunno why I rejected him tbh. What should I do? I feel like things are awkward between us now.
How do you rekindle the spark in a relationship
I’m just not feeling it with my boyfriend any more, for no reason. He’s cool and I like him, but I don’t have that physical “love” feeling any more. I wish I did, I think he still loves me a lot. I feel terribly guilty, so much so that I feel physically Ill when I think about it. I want to love him so bad, please help
How do I know a guy is with me because he loves me?
How do I know a guy is with me because he loves me and not because he wants to use my body?
It baffles me that there’s people in this world that actually enjoy living and waking up every single day and breathing. I don’t believe it, how is this real. Why would anyone consciously enjoy waking up every single day to do the same monotonous activities they did the same day before, and so on and so fourth. It’s exhausting, living and finding the desire to continue is tiresome
>I wonder what it’s like to be pretty and have a bf who actually enjoys your presence
>if I wake my bf up after sleeping ten hours, he’ll scream at me for 20 minutes about how I don’t respect him.
>Be me, 23 khhv
>No friends rl, ugly
>Meet qt guy on discord
>He lives in other continent
>Spend time with him as I can
>He flirts and calls me beautiful
>Confess feelings to him one day
Says he likes me too but we can't be together because we live in different continents and such things don't end well
>We continue to talk and spend time, he's still occasionally flirty
>After a month again I ask if we have any future if I do certain things
>He says no, he can't commit to anything like that and says he wants time off
>Comes back after 24 hours
>We start talking again like before
>He shows me girl from my city he found on Bumble
>He keeps talking about other girls with me
It's really heartbreaking anons.
I'm hurting for relationship I never had and crying my eyes out for boy I never met and doesn't care
Male Gaze :(((
When I was a tween I was at that stage where I was mentally developing but had a sense of leeway for my self expression. I got my hair chopped and wore the clothes I wanted, and basically looked like a dyke and didn't care about what the men around me thought because I wasn't at a sexual stage yet. But now that I'm older I can only see myself through men's eyes. I forget who said this but this problem really applies to my situation:
>Men see women, women see men seeing women.
I hate this mental attitude because I force myself to look "hot" in a conventional way but it doesn't feel like the real me. Like its sinful for me to not look hot. Before I turned myself into a basic bitch I was told stuff like "you're wasting your beauty" and "you'd look so much more attractive if you did xyz". But fuck man. It isn't me at all.
The feeling of your younger siblings/cousins loosing faith in you
I used to be a well-adjusted, outgoing child.
Kids would follow me around and get exited to play with me. My younger relatives used to fight over who got to sit next to me at family dinners.
Over the years, I had to watch the admiration slowly fade from their eyes.
I tried my best to hide what a loserly recluse I was becoming, but they saw right through me. I failed.
It hurts to know that I can never be their cool older sister again.
(Is this development inevitable, even for normies, or am I right in blaming my internet-induced autism?)
Have you ever been attracted to a guy who was already taken?
I’m never going to have sex again. It’s just not worth it. I had sex with this guy tonight and it was amazing. He gave me a back rub and just asked so casually if he could touch me. He called me beautiful and said how much he loved my body. It was so intense and passionate. I never thought I’d get to have sex like that. He probably won’t talk to me again. But it’s okay I’m celibate now
1Dollar store menstruation products.
Is it weird to buy menstruation products from a 1Dollar store? Anyone actually done it?
Will people think me for a weirdo?
Will they remember?
>man is interested in me
>i am interested in man
>we start talking
>he expresses interest
>immediately lose all feelings toward him
why the fuck does this happen? why is my brain so fucked up? why am i not allowed to be in love?
>man expresses interest in me in a telegram chat
>we talk a bit in DM
>show him my few pics
>one pic is where all my flaws are obvious
>he goes silent
>I ask him whats up
>"im maybe attracted maybe not"
Why me anons?
I want to punch people who say just being skinny is enough to get males to like you. Its clearly not.
I will never have a guy like and love me
How did you deal with such situations? Has it ever happened with you that an e- boy lost interest as soon as you sent them pics?
Is she right? I've seen arguments both for and against.
Heartbroken again by a moid on the internet who lives in another country, I don't do it on purpose but I keep meeting virgin dudes online whom I think I connect with and I start fantasizing about.
I'm stupid for thinking that we could be a thing because we're both ugly and nerdy, he only wants attractive girls that make me insecure. He probably does it on purpose, showing me little interest then complain about being single or asking how to approach the ladies, it's my fault for talking to men online.
I'll stick to imaginary husbando and my animes.
Driving License
I mmissed a week of my driving lessons bc I forgot and I was rly busy working. I apologised but my driving instructor gghosted me because of it and now I don't have any way to learn driving. I tried to find places online but they're either full or they have a bunch of things and I just can't seem to get driving lessons. It doesn't help that I hhave really bad motivation problems and am agoraphobic. Even having this one was tough enough for me and I really hate spending mmoney as well because I'm a big saver. Because of my agoraphobia I find it impossible to take trains and buses so I'm basically entirely dependent on my parents driving me places I have to go, and I don't have a social life at all. I really need to learn to drive but I don't know what to do and I just feel like giving up aat this point. I work remotely aand I've always been kind of an incompetent/dependent person but always found ways to work around it but now I'm rrealising that's just keeping me unhappy and behind the curve while everyone else is getting ahead of me. I'm 23 and I can't go anywhere and this town is full of people I don't like. It's affecting my friendship as wwell because I made one friend - this guy from the next town over and we wanna make plans but I keep chickening out because I'm terrified of everything. Do any anons have any experience w/ agoraphobia, lack of motivation, eetc??
Is there anyway to trick bumbles verification?
I’ve been taking to this guy, he lives like two hours away. He wants to meet up and hangout. Today I asked him if he had any tattoos and he said no. In his picture I swear he has a tattoo on his wrist though, but I also can’t really tell. He only had one photo but he has the little blue check mark. I honestly just don’t want to get murdered.
**Being a terrible friend/person**
I've had this friendship for about 3 years and it's the longest I've kept one in my entire life. Whenever I hit the 1 year of even knowing each other mark, I get beyond annoyed by the person and I can't find any of their traits redeemable, then I just ghost them.
This friendship is different, I still like her, think she's funny and enjoy spending time with her. However, there are a lot of things that deeply bother me, I've been having these terrible thoughts about her for a good six months, but I can handle being with her most of the time so we still hang out and talk. I actually feel like I love her, platonically of course.
My thoughts about her are what makes me feel like a terrible person, there's no way I think this way about someone I think I love, it's so bad.
She's not a very smart person which wouldn't be a problem if it didn't mean I have to nanny her in some. Whenever she thinks of something to do out, I have to double check the address, the time it takes for us to get there and the prices because she underestimates everything. Of course, as you'd imagine, she's always late. Also she doesn't have an actual job and I do, so I pay for most things and it would be reasonable for her to be realistic about prices if I'm the one paying for stuff. It has happened that we go to a certain even she told me was free and end up paying for the both of us to get in, that she says it would be good to buy some gadget that's like X amount and when we go buy it turns out it's double the amount, among other scenarios. Of course she feels bad after and says she'll pay me back, but it never happens. I don't think this is her trying to trick me into paying her stuff, she's genuinely dumb an doesn't know things a regular adult should know. She would see a picture of an outfit on ig, see that it says "$15" somewhere around the caption and thinks that's the price of the entire outfit. She invited me to the beach for two days with her family and I doubted because I almost couldn't afford it and she told me the price of the bus ticket were X, I said that's impossible, way too cheap and also I'd SEEN that that was the price for a one way ticket, she insisted, said that her sister told her that was the price for the round trip. It was not. I'm going with them to the beach next week anyway.
Neither her nor her family are very bright, though I consider her the smartest one. She's dumb about worldly things, about money, about bills, about keeping things clean, etc. She's good to talk to though, you can totally have good conversations with her, but whenever it comes to politics or any philosophical matter, she gets annoyed because she's basically a liberal I guess, she's a feminist, she is part of the lgbt community and a vegan but it's so weird because the aesthetics are enough for her and refuses to see or listen to me talk about the root of all this issues, capitalism and moids of course. And it's not like I lecture her, she totally CAN tell me her stance on stuff, I'd love her to, but what I get from her is a weird pouty face like she's not getting what I'm going at and a change of topic. It's honestly so weird because she consumes all this content that clearly highlights the faults of capitalism but she still doesn't get it, and it's not like she loves the system, otherwise she'd tell me I guess, I wouldn't be mad, at least she'd have an opinion and be able to think for herself. She's been involved in a church before and hates it, but not because of the emotional manipulation, the economic impact catholic churches have in out country or something relevant, she just dislikes it because it's bigoted and boring.
Whenever I'm at her house and her mom and sister are around I get genuinely surprised every time about their stupidity and surface level conversations, it's like they're always doing smalltalk but they're family, close realtives, mother and daughter, sister and sister, it's insane to me that I've never heard them have an actual conversation. Also they use this annoying nasal voice when they´re together, it's unbearable. Her mom moans while she talks because she's so fat she can't end a sentence without being all moany and breathing heavily by the end of it. I will never willingly get into a room with the three of them ever again.
Her sister is remarkably dumb and delusional, treats my friend like shit and she allows it. She's that kind of absolutely brainlet selfish bitch that buys dogs just to find out a few moths later he wasn't the breed she wanted and start half-jokingly calling him ugly and "black" in a derogatory way. Like what the actual fuck. I hate that dog too, because he's been raised by my friend -since his owner doesn't take care of him- to be a brat. This fucking dog incites so much hate in me, he's jealous of the other dogs in the house and get's aggressive because of it, he's constantly going up chairs and sitting at the table -I find this disgusting-, crying whenever he's not getting attention and stepping over me and my friend when we're laying down. To her, this is funny, to me, it's beyond annoying, the dog is big and slimy, he's never bathed, he has left bruises on me after stepping on my back and legs, my friend never stops him from doing this, never tells him to get down the bed or anything, I just stop him when I see him coming towards me.
Her sister is now taking this dog with her because she's moving, this is where her delusions become evident: she's always working, barely at home, as well as her boyfriend, she said the dog will be fed white rice. A 55 pound shar pei being fed white rice. I do not give a fuck about the dog, the thought of his liver and kidney problems coming back made me laugh a little, the thought of him staying alone at home with no attention whatsoever crying all day long made me smile as well. THIS is the part where it starts to get fucked up. The thought of that dog suffering slightly comforts me. The thought of him not being at her place anymore is a relief. What bothers me is that she's sad and can't enjoy anything, when we go out she stays pouty the whole day and pretends to have a headache, yet she always wants to go somewhere. I hope she gets over it soon so that she stops being this annoying.
Lately, she's been relapsing into an eating disorder I think, but honestly I couldn't give any less of a fuck, I'm not going to tell her to uwu eat! your body needs fuel unu !! because she's a grown adult and also I don't mind eating while she's starving herself, but she gets annoying and hangry at whatever, which annoys me. Also she's constantly reminding me that she skipped breakfast, lunch, dinner, notifying me that she ate, wow, what an accomplishment. She's not actually starving herself though, so she's fine. For her, "not eating all morning" means having had two crackers for breakfast. I don't eat breakfast, ever. My first meal is at 1 pm every single day and I'm not moaning and crying at 10 am about not having eaten.
Sometimes she annoys me so much I think I hate her. I hate her sister and the dog and I can't stand her mom, that I know.
I do help her with stuff, I give her some advice when she needs it, but I can't shake the deep feeling of straight up hatred that I have towards her. I don't wish her any ill, as I do with her sister, but the ugly feeling I have towards them both is the same. I still think I love her sometimes when she says or does anything funny or remotely interesting.
What the fuck? Am I just emotionally deviated or something? Of course I don't like wishing the suffering of a dog or anything like that but I can't avoid thinking about it. Is this bad as long as I don't tell anyone? How can I stop this? Is it even possible?
Do these people sound bad to you as well or are these normal behaviours I see as repulsive just because I'm hateful?
What the fuck?
Feel free to tell me about similar situations, I'm interested.
look after your hearing girls
not sure if this is the right place for it and you'll all probably think I'm a retard but genuinely please look after your hearing. Years of high volume abuse as a kid has resulted in myself have tinnitus.
Turn down your PC volume with a Chrome extension.
Wear ear plugs maybe at a concert.
That is all xoxoxoxoxoxo
>made the mistake of stating an opinion
some people need to calm down ffs
I need your help I can't understand what this is that I'm having.
Whenever I think about someplace different or imagine a situation I completely just feel like it's real and I have trouble getting back to reality even if I know that it's inside my head because they are literal scenarios. 9/10 times those scenarios are bad scenarios that might happen to everyone.
I'll give you an example.
I was watching some videos about a European country and the buildings were really old and completely different from here. 1 hour I'm feeling this really awful feeling like I would feel if I lived ok those buildings. I'm trying to snap back to reality but I can't
What the fuck is this?
I feel dirty but I have to get it off my chest. My twitter acc got banned yesterday and I’m upset not at the loss of followers but cause I used to get dms from a guy who took interest in my self harm. I don’t know why or how the interest was fueled - and i don’t want to assume anything, but the convo gave off a bit of a weird vibe. He didn’t have anything self harm or mental illness (I think, I’m not sure, this was a non-english account and his english was not good) on his page, but it wasn’t an empty page either. I think that’s what gave it the weirdness. But the way he talked he was all dorky and shit, and fuck me because I like dorks.
There were no sexual questions. Just questions about drug use, questions about self harm all of which I answered without any reluctance. He didn’t compliment my cuts by saying they’re pretty or sexy, etc. It would be something like “Wow your cuts are deep/theres so many of them/are you used to cut this deep?/Doing more cuts?"
It made me feel so good, exhilarated. And now it’s gone. He didn’t tell me to cut deeper or that my cuts are not deep or small. Kind of the opposite. I took pride in it.
I appreciate when people are worried about me. When people ask if I feel okay or if i took care of my wounds, or if I want to stop and giving me advice on how to stop or reduce harm. But there something fun I feel when I get to talk about my tool use or how deep I cut or anything of that nature.
I want, no, I NEED someone to ask these questions. I want this… fascination, or whatever it was. I miss it. I feel pathetic and desperate for a crumb of attention. I could go and message him right now because I have another account but I can’t, it makes me feel too pathetic. I’m conflicted and I can barely resist the urge to do it.
i’m already addicted to self harm and controlling the urges is next to impossible. it’s not even to shock, but to impress, I feel. To raise more questions. He said he also wants to do it, and makes the situation more scary - it’s like we were both worsening the situation for each other.
I feel somewhat insecure if that’s the right way to call it, that he doesn’t care that much that he probably won’t talk to me anymore, I feel he has other people to talk about self harm with and one down won’t make much difference.
I do want to mention that a drug use convo happened first, and he only messaged me ~2 months later when I started posting my self harm again.
The only that turns me on is the thought of dying or someone ending my life in anyway, sometimes I fantasize about a man (any man, sometimes a 50 yearold father but it doesn’t matter to me anymore) stabbing me in my chest until I stop breathing, the thought of someone just ending my life is so arousing and is the only thing that arouses me (I don’t masturbate) but this does turn me on. I feel guilty and I know it’s weird and sick, but I want someone to end my existence so bad. I’ve even tried and offered men to rape me in exchange for them to kill me after, I have the money for it too but a lot of them back out last minute and get scared
relationship advice
As a female if your BF told you one of her fantasies is a FFM threesome, what would be your reaction… makes me feel so emotionally disconnected don't wanna talk to him romantically ever again
coombrain activated
Recently I've been infatuated? with this acquaintance of mine. I've never felt romantically or sexually to him in all the years I've known him. Out of the blue we hung out (public group setting, I didn't invite him) and he was kind of dorky and now I'm consumed with the thought of making him submit to me (but in an affectionate way… can't explain). I keep thinking about him when I masturbate. The whole thing makes me feel like a lunatic. I don't think he feels the same way, for all I know he could be a homosexual, that's how little I know about him. It's not a crippling obsession, but I'm worried I'm gonna wreck everything by acting autistic towards him. Advice anons pls
>Nooo you can't just forget your friends when you start to become successful
>But at the same time we will resent you and treat you differently whenever we're around you
Why are they like this?
Masking
To all anons with autism; how do you mask i.e. pretend to be a normie in everyday social situations?
Did you learn any specific "techniques" that you think other miners would find useful?
I’m in my mid twenties and female in North America and I’m obsessed with my mother, I don’t know when it began but My whole life and existence is about her. She doesn’t feel the same way about me, infact she’s been abusive and hurtful to me since I was 6, I yearn for her cuddles and affection, instead I’m deprived of it. I’ve never opened up to anyone about my obsession with my mother, besides my first and current counsellor, she doesn’t know how deep my obsession goes unfortunately. I still share a queen size bed with my mother, I’ve been sharing beds with her since I was a kid. I have my own bedroom now but I still willingly want to sleep beside her every night, I wait for her all day to come home from work. Idk what’s wrong with me
I really hate 4chan!
What the hell, even on /int/ they have to place those stupid drawings???
As much as the first sentence may make it seem this is 100% not a shitpost
I'm pretty ashamed to admit that I am severely addicted to gay countryhumans porn (specifically between Russia and America) And it's not only when masturbating, (though yes, it is the only thing that turns me on anymore) but it's also the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and what I think about as I fall asleep. I keep a group of tabs with smut of the ship on chrome at all times, or some regular safe drawing or video of them, just whiling away my time switching between the two, and every time I do, I get either a huge dopamine rush or a huge feeling of dread. I legit can't even get through a day with out looking at something related to it. The biggest problem with this is that all the content I consume was drawn by the same artist- some random 13 year old on the internet. Sometimes when I'm masturbating I remember that a kid drew it and I'm immediately disgusted with both the porn and myself. But her artstyle is the only one that appeases me, (and her personification of Russia is really hot for some reason omfg) I am quite literally addicted. This has been going on for over 8 months and I genuinely can't make it stop no matter how much I want it to. I've began to hate myself even more than I already did and my degeneracy is going to push me over the edge very soon I believe.
If the person is more “unattractive” on a dating app, are they supposed to carry the convo? Like if a guy is trying to get into a serious relationship on bumble, he matches with a girl that looks better than him, is the dude supposed to carry the convo? Because he’s not as “hot” as the female he’s trying to date???
how to stop being so emotional dependent on him? we've been together for 6 months and it's a LDR. everytime we fight i feel like dying, i can't sleep or eat neither. he is one of my only two friends and i don't want to be away from him but i think my feelings now are ruining things between us. i talked about therapy but he didn't like the idea and just can't undestand that is not that simple to just stop being like this. i don't know what to do :(
been so long since i've been on a date. talking to people is so scary, my social anxiety is so overwhelming. once a guy at a library asked if i needed help and i almost started crying. how am i meant to manage a date? i just want to drive till i never have to see people again sometimes
long distance is a killer
Hello. I'm in a sticky situation right now. I'm a 23F who has a guy (23M) that is interested in me.
We met online while playing World of Warcraft 4 months ago and things seemed to have gone really well between the two of us.
We're both Master's students, we have a lot of similarities, we have similar interests. He said that he's never spoken to a girl like me before and that I was essentially the female version of him.
We video call for 5 hours each time regularly, we talk on the phone for about 30 minutes to an hour every two days and we text daily. These texts tend to be very long (both ways.) He even talks about his friendship circle and his family to me regularly.
I'm insanely attracted to him and can't help but feel that way as each day passes by. The chemistry we feel right now is insane.
I haven't met him yet but I'm planning to in September after my parents have seen me hand off my dissertation. They're ok with that. He told me that we need to meet in person to see if a connection is there romantically or if this should remain a friendship. Things seem to go really well for me and this guy. But the main problem is distance.
I live near Leeds and he lives near London.
I've always wanted to work in London ever since I was a little girl because I know that's the place I want to be. I'm not moving for this guy. It's for myself. Even if I got a flat in a county outside of London, surely I can commute to London and back, right?
Friend might have ED, what should I do?
So my friend has been telling me that she’s been skipping meals and not eating for a couple days in order to lose weight. She’s lost 12 pounds in a few months and eats less than 400 calories a day. I’m pretty sure she has an ED and when I tried to confront her about it she said she feels fine. I told that it’s not healthy and she needs to eat more but she said that she doesn’t want to and that she’s okay and just wants to lose weight.
Im concerned because I used to be at this point where I too was severely underweight and the only time someone actually tried to get me help was when I started passing out. Im worried that it’s just going to get worse and I don’t want her to end up in the hospital.
So my question is… how do I get through to her, if there is a way, to get her to eat more and be healthy. I don’t want her to be mad at me but I’m worried.
I know that she’s always going to see losing weight as a good thing but I don’t want it to go too far. She said she doesn’t have anorexia because she hasn’t been diagnosed with it, but I feel like if you get to the point that you’re diagnosed it’s already too far. She suffers with extreme depression and anxiety and already has almost gone to the mental hospital. She said that she’s afraid to eat and it makes her sad. I don’t want her to go back to being even more depressed but this isn’t healthy. What should I do?
how do i stop smoking? i have been since i was 16 and i just don't know how to quit
Work fucking sucks!!!
It feels like I'm never taken seriously because I'm the youngest supervisor and a woman. And also it was leaked that the "vacation" i took was actually me going to the psych ward for suicide, so naturally the people older than me are now calling me "twitchy" and all that derogatory shit. I can't tell if I hate them or myself.
I don't make enough money to deal with all this shit while carrying the weight of so many tasks dumped onto me simply because I'm more youthful and active. And that's WITH my clinical depression.. I kinda wanna die. I need a new job.
I feel traumatised by visiting 4chan
As a woman I went there not knowing their rules and I felt torn apart by visiting it. Not willing to tell what I saw there and what happened (no, I'm not Jessi Slaughter).
i was a bully
i bullied the autistic kid
i feel guilty about it still 15 years later
Covid Feels
>that feel when you were forced to cancel your summer travel plans to Japan with no reschedule in near sight
Why even live
Anyone alse worried?
Anyone else worried about how many men are agaits women's education and working rights? I remember eading today about a man that was speaking at a conference how women should stay away from the workplace. I also remember hearing about a podcast and the men in it were saying how women should not be in school and they were joking about an Israeli girl getting shot in the head while going to an education center.
I also searched jokingly ''it was a mistake to educate women'' and I got terrified how many men were saying this all over social media.
I am getting worried also from the taliban takeover in Kabul.
(Sorry if it doesn't belong here, don't ban me.)
what makes you feel feminine, cozy, cute or whatever
do you like a certain shade of red lipstick? A cute sweater? a certain song? activity? Post the things that make you feel pretty, comfy, flowery, and snazzy
(⊃｡•‿•｡)⊃━✿✿✿✿✿✿
Has isolation disturbed your social skills?
I am not as good with talking as I was before the lockdown. Anyone else?
Her boyfriend won't marry her
I was on /adv/ and saw this thread. I'm reposting it here, because I am interested in hearing your opinions about this, because the responses were mostly really shitty. My boyfriend is kinda trad himself, but we haven't had a big talk about marriage yet.
Familly member going to jail
How does one even cope with that? I don't want to get into details but I'm at a complete loss. I feel like all of our familly got betrayed hard. I honestly don't know what else I could say. I've been struggling too much thinking non stop about this, everyone in my familly is incredibly stressed too…
kissing
going to be meeting up with my ldr boyfriend for the first time soon. i’ve never kissed anyone before and i’m so terrified to try in case he thinks i’m a bad kisser. help me cc!
Hey all, I'm kinda new to all of this, so please give me a break.
A few months back I mey a guy, let's call him "Q". He a was tall athletic, timid, and gentle kind of guy, in fact he was so timid that he reached out to our mutual friend to get to reach me instead of just talking to me himself. We talked and hit it off almost instantly. Fast forward 6 months and he decides out of the blue that it'd be best to break it off. Understandably, I was heartbroken, I felt betrayed, and I was devastated. I just cant seem to move past him, we were such a good fit. What can I do to get him back?
Androphobia
In short, I've had androphobia (a fear of men and the male sex) since I was an awkward teenage girl. I can't be with a male or a group of males in the same confined space such as an elevator (unless they have wives and children with them) but I still look out for a potential threat while my heart is racing, I can't talk to a random male if I need to ask something, I shake when a male is behind me and I try to pass him, etc etc.
How do you even cope with this condition?
I've tried various therapists, one (the shittiest one) suggested I was raped by my father or such (even though I haven't been sexually abused by anyone at all), other ones (who were all women) just didn't do anything because we haven't had enough time or maybe they thought my fear was rational (?).
I'm not even a radical feminist or a lesbian separatist even though I agree with most radfem ideas.
>inb4 you're just based
please shut up
AAAA CUNTED EXISTED WHY WAS I BORN TO THIS FAMILY THAT MAKE A GAME OUT OF SUFFOCATING GIVING FALSE HOPE AND MAKINF ME FEEL ASHAMED OF MYSELF AND SUICIDAL AAAAA NONAS I WANT TO SCREAM CRY AND KMS BEINF BORN MUSLIM IS SO CURSED
I hate my ex best friend
I apologized to my ex best friend because my sister called her fat and she knew. It doesn't even make sense, what does that have to do with me? I lost my best friend over that? I must've done something else wrong. I guess I'm just rambling, I don't know. I hate her. If she didn't like me, she could've just said so
Does anyone have any advice, I’m suffering a lot here.
Basically, I’m an adult but I live at home still since I’m in debt and can’t drive. I’m a college graduate though, and work a full time job.
My dad hates me so much. He has admitted it before when he was mad, and it shows in his actions. Today, I woke up to the sound of him screaming about me to my mom. He was furious because I took a toothpaste bottle from the basement when there was apparently a little still in the bottle I threw out.
This is the first time that has ever happened, but he’s screaming that I’m a waste of a person, he’s going to put a lock on the basement door, how dare I waste his money. Meanwhile I’ve offered to pay rent, but when I do, they just laugh and say “you don’t have money!” I know I only have like 15,000 in my bank account rn but I would happily pay rent if it would make me feel like a real person.
Anyway I try so hard not to be an angry bitter person but I hate him so much. I’m scared to leave my room right now, I don’t want to go down and face him and get berated. I can’t even go anywhere because it’s so cold outside, winter is truly the worst.
I don’t know how much longer I can take this but I don’t know what to do, sorry if I sound insane or whiny but has anyone gone through this before or know what I can do
Can an empty person become full of life?
Are you stuck being yourself? Do some people just not have anything deeper to them?
I’m a dull headcase. My family is full of black sheep that neglect one another. I grew up not knowing how to talk and conditioned to expect everything to always go from 0 to 100. Even when a rare person talks to me and I keep my cool, I have literally nothing to say and the fact that I can’t even talk to people, nor think of anything to say, brings me massive agony because I hate being like this—I can’t even be POLITE for fuck’s sake! I hate myself over it! When I'm able to milk thoughts out of my head they're cyanide and the pinnacle of vapidity.
I have always admired people able to banter and talk a lot…I listen to podcasts and was always drawn to extroverts…I loved Discworld books when I was growing up. I wish I had such a wonderful inner life like that. I find myself idealizing others quite a bit. It's ironic but even the girls people say are vapid are still fascinating to me tbh.
I started feeling the pain of not being like that in college after an experience where I actually said something really funny (mostly on accident) and made a big group of people laugh and then get way more interested in me. Then, I was able to exchange a few fun words and I was complimented on who I seemed to be. Yes. It was completely pathetic. But I automatically felt alive for the first time in my entire life. Wow. “I said interesting thing! There’s life inside me!” Then from there it was a downward spiral as all the dots connected. The bullying. The being called a school shooter. The constant awkwardness and lack of authenticity (I’m not even sure how I can be authentic when my every action is so – horribly - calculated). The no friends. The flush of positivity blew up in my face and exposed how deprived I am.
I’m scared that I’m "soulless". It has been months since I last smiled or laughed—even as a child I was like this, stony-faced and never even doing stuff like crying. I was more confident about myself back then. But, everything about me was based around extreme, self-eating self-consciousness. The type that makes you talk as quietly as possible so people don’t overhear you. The type where when you smiled you kept on making people cringe and say you looked like an ugly hag, so you just…stopped smiling; idk, maybe I was an edgelord.
After the incident, panic attacks and night walks to cry at the beach. And…I just got worse afterwards. I can barely talk aloud now. It's been years I've spent like this now. I feel like a husk and that I am the emptiest I've ever been. I at least was able to functionally talk back then even if I acted like a cardboard cutout.
Online stuff has been a detriment because I was able to talk to people a bit better annnnd it just taught me to hate myself more because I felt like an imposter and had a taste of what I can't even feasibly get in reality.
I've had dozens upon dozens of people on girls-only discord servers basically beg to hear me speak and while I joked around about it, I couldn't bring myself to say the truth–"I can't even talk. I would sound like a 5 year old with a mental disability."
All I know is that the few times I actually managed to talk to people and feel relaxed and like I was having fun, I felt…alive for once. I don’t even feel lonely normally but holy shit I'm so afraid of growing old and still acting like a shambling, listless zombie…I am so afraid, I hate myself so much. I plan to end it if I'm still like this by 30 (I'm almost there).
What's the deal with people that on purpose spend time around people they don't like?
I know that sometimes they want to take advantage of the other person or want to make themselves feel more important but is it really worth that much effort?
Why do they do this?
FTM considering detrans
I'm a 19y/o who troon'd at like 15 for reasons that I believe now had more to do with bullying and self loathing than actual dysphoria. Upon realizing this I have stopped T (I'd been on it for about a year) and am debating on if I should detransition entirely.
I ask you; if my body, naturally, before the T, had made me look like a literal ape with no tits and a Hank Hill ass, does it even do myself or anyone any good for me to detransition? I believe I would be happy to be essentially a butch lesbian if I was a lesbian, or at least bi, but I've never been attracted to women and thus I'm stuck being the exact opposite of the kind of shit straight guys like whilst having to care about it.
Share your relationship problems here
Starting Over in your Twenties
Did you waste your teenage years? Are you trying to do better as an adult? Share your feelings, progress, and advice here. Feel free to be truly yourself, even if it may feel kind of embarrassing.
>What went wrong?
>What could you have accomplished?
>Do you have the same goals that you did before the problem?
>What are you looking forward to?
>How do you plan on achieving this?
>Do you want to relive anything considered cringy? (ex. young weeaboo days)
>What have you accomplished so far?
Vent Thread
Previous: >>63354
venting
i need help. my girlfriend wont stop flirting with her friends. she says she flirts as a joke, but she has her friends thinking that they have a chance with her. she has abused mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically. she makes me feel like my emotions arent shit. he makes me feel like im not shit, even when i ask for reasurrance she ignores me. why is it always me. i hate being me. i give her my all. i just wanna be loved. random photo at the bottom ig.
Why do random teenage girls laugh at other people in public?
I hear it happening to moids all the time but it just happened to me too. I think they fucking followed me home. I had just got back from the gym so I looked like shit, maybe they were calling me ugly and unkempt or something.
It reminded me of when I was in highschool and the "popular girls" would straight up verbally harass people in public, and get away with it because… they were pretty I guess?
little brother using /r9k/
Back when he was 12, and i was 17, i caught my brother with Aspergers using /r9k/. I stopped him right away and told him to never go back there again. Well, 3 years later, guess what i found? He was still using it.
He doesn't have friends, but he is smart, and despite going to a good high school with high expectations, he still gets great grades.
I don't want him to ruin his future and end up like them.
Is there any way to help him?
How to deal with a shitty teacher?
My AP Art teacher is awful. She's bad at teaching and seems to genuinely despise me. She talks down to me, laughs at me, and constantly criticizes and belittles me (and my art). She also really reminds me of my (abusive) mother, which triggers me beyond belief. Needless to say, it's hard for me to respect her since she very obviously does not respect me, but since she's the one technically "in charge" I NEED to respect her. How do I fake it/control myself? I don't know how much of her prodding I can take before I lose it.
tl;dr: how to have patience and self-control in front of an awful person in a position of authority.
uhhh feels
girls who cultivated a male persona online can i ask you smth?
idk why but I'm so enamoured with the identity I've created online, I like messaging girls my age thru this persona and act like I'm flirting with them, inb4 you say wow lesbian moment Im straight but I can like girls through that male persona. It also helps that I can disguise myself as a guy because it's so much fun, like leading them on cuz they fuel this persona of mine.
Irl I'm okay with being a girl but online I'm comfortable as a man. One day i type she/her in my bio then quickly delete it cuz i dont want anyone to see it. But I'm not gender dysphoric or anything I'd never transition but I feel more comfortable as a guy online.
Maybe it just boils down to attention, I like the attention I get from other girls, I like the power I have, but I think I'm in too much love with this persona and I need to grow up, I need to learn to be accepted as a woman but it becomes difficult when the communities your in are weird to women and I feel dumb af when I see other girls be brave enough while im just hiding behind a male persona bc im afraid of a guy flirting and make moans when I speak. Even though as a guy I FLIRT with other girls,
Its just a sad cycle that Im ashamed of being a hypocrite of. Tldr I'm just a weakling who hides behind a male persona bc Im afraid of guys flirting with me but Ive become the mask bc Im doing the same thing
What do you think about men who have no social media?
No Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc.
Dating Older Men
At what point is it ok and healthy to date a man in his 30s? I'm not attracted to men my age because I don't think most of them are really capable of having respect for women.
That being said I'm aware if an older man likes a younger woman, it could be a red flag for abusivness.
Is there an age where it becomes ok? Or a measurable level of maturity (if that's possible)?
Did I overreact?
A boy touched me inappropriately and I lost all attraction to him.
Age Regression
does anyone else non-sexually age regress?
i’ve always been considered somewhat “childish” and my mom makes fun of me for watching my little pony and still buying stuffed animals at my age but its honestly so comforting to me and is one of the few things that helps me relax. i have this constant nostalgia and longing to be a little kid again, and indulging in these things makes me happy. i think my mental illness does play a part of it too, especially given that i was sexually abused at a young age, but you can still age regress without trauma.
any other anons experience something similar?
Something you wish someone would say to you
Whats something you wish someone would tell you right now?
❤️
Who else swears off coming here and then inevitably comes back because you don't have anyone to talk to and would rather talk to a hateful argument machine than nobody
also I don't know what this picture is because the thumbnail is tiny so it's probably not related
>Decide to go to the library to work on my story even though I know it's a bad idea
>Go there
>See a couple
>Overhear them talking about stuff I know about
>Immediately hate myself for being alone and career virgin
>Stop by chinese restaurant on the way home
>Place is full of couples
I want to fucking die. Why did I have to be born wrong.
do you guys cry regularly? I cry like 4 times a week and I hate it, I feel like I'm so emotionally weak, I don't think I have ever seen any man from my family cry unless we were at a funeral, and even then it's just a couple of tears, I wish I was more like them
what do you do when you feel hopeless? particularly asking anyone here over the age of 25
why can't I find female friends?
Whenever I'm on a mixed group I find myself talking with the guys mostly cause anime and videogames.
I don't like this I want female friends but I don't find them interesting for some reason.
Like I have only 2 female friends that I find interesting and that's because the one is the same as me as in having the same interesting and the other one is a high school friends.
I'm trying to keep like some girls as friends but I don't have any fun with them like at all and they're pretty toxic and incredibly boring.
Was I a groomer?
I was a 17-year-old libfem when sjw keyboard warriors were new and I was all for sex and body positivity and all that jazz and around the same I was talking to this 13-year-old boy that I met on an art platform, we used to spend hours in calls talk about life and shitty parents and drawing, his parents were divorced and mine weren't any better so we bonded over that.
We disconnected for a few months and when we talked again, I was 18 and he was 14 his voice was deeper and he looked much older and I can't lie it moved something in me, something deep down from the time where I used to watch shota hentai, I tried to fight it as much as I could but I think I might have slipped up a few times because at some point I tried giving him some sex ed, in my mind if I gave him body-positive sex ed so he wouldn't turn into an incel but looking back i was talking with a 14-year-old about penis size and what to expect from sex and it makes me lose my sleep at night because I myself was groomed when I was younger than him.
He used to talk about his many girlfriends with me I'm not sure if he was trying to make me jealous or what.
The year was 2018, he was 16, I was 20, we were falling apart and I was discovering radfem while he was IRL groomed by his friend's mother which I didn't realise at the time because I thought he was just getting into tranny stuff but when I asked him he told me that his friend's mother who was a single mother made them wear her clothes even her heels and underwear, do their makeup using her own and make up take pics while they're crossdressed in exchange for alcoholic drinks, it was disturbing and I tried to warn him but he thought I was insane and we stopped talking at all until Christmas last year I got messages from him on my old account that I rarely check, I checked a month late but he said he wanted to talk and I was scared to death because what if he wanted to confront me, I agreed because it's probably well deserved but he never wrote back ever.
I am worried that I might have groomed him, he probably thinks of me as the creepy woman who groomed him when he was younger, it's a really scary thought because people who have been abused usually reflect the same abuse later.
Is it true that you would age like your mother did?
Does someone has examples or personal experience of how much of aging is genetic? I have a face very similar to my mothers but she is now obviously old and fat. Does this means I will get fat as well as I age? Is it genetic or is it based on personal choices? I am terrified of becoming fat when I am old and I would apreciate any knowledge people have about how much genetics affect it.
i don't want to keep it long i just want some advice because i honestly don't know what to do.
i have an online friend. we became friends in 2009. she's 18 now and i'm 20. we helped each other get through a lot of mental health issues. then last year we had a stupid argument. i thought she was copying my personality - because she kind of was. she admitted she only copied a few things. but i felt like it was more than that. people thought i was HER private account because she was that similar to me. i've realised she was copying my voice as well. long story short, we argued. eventually we made up but i found her twitter account and she was complaining about something i've said. so when i saw that, i asked her why she's tweeting things about me. she said i'm violating her feelings or something along those lines - for looking at her public twitter account. she then left again, for a long time…
when she came back, she updated me on her life, and i thought our friendship was back to normal. she told me she will come back in a month, but it's been 8 months and i found her new twitter account. she's quite active on there. but to me she said she's not active anywhere and she's very depressed, has no energy to do anything etc. so seeing her be active on twitter hurts my feelings and i know i'm being lied to. she literally talks to EVERYONE on twitter. so why is it hard for her to talk to me? do i tell her that i've found her twitter account? what's the best way to deal with this? should i let her know that i know she's lying or is she doing this on purpose to get rid of me? just… what do i do!!
I know it sounds edgy but when I found this place a I felt profound sense of belonging. I’m so glad I found you, sisters.
does anyone else find it hard some days to cope with the loneliness? do you have anything that helps you in those moments?
cute romantic fantasies
does anyone here daydream extensively about an ideal boyfriend to do romantic things with? like going on picnics, road trips, cuddling on the couch, relaxing on the beach or going to the movies. i'd be interested in hearing other people's visualizations of their perfect date with their perfect guy.
It’s Halloween here in North America, and it’s just one of those holidays where I feel the intense loneliness and isolation, the burden of my life on people.
Never had any friends despite me trying, so never got invited to any parties or Halloween gatherings, My youth was wasted wanting to die and still wanting it.
Wasn’t smart enough (you don’t have to be that smart, so this should tell you how disabled I really am in my brain) to get into university so didn’t get to make friends there as most people my age do, and get invited to parties and gatherings.
All around my entire life has been a waste and still is, it’s painful for me it really is.
I’ve never even had a birthday of my own with friends to celebrate with, and most people have that.
But I know this is happening for a reason, I deserve my suffering, so it’s almost blissful in a sense?
Anyhow I guess tonight I’ll be drinking my sorrows and loneliness away like any other night with some imported beers
Abortion Grief
For those here who've had an abortion (or multiple), what did you experience prior, during, and most importantly after? Was it a relatively easy decision? Did you grieve, was there shame, perhaps relief? How did it affect your life/relationships/self-narrative?
I know this is an extremely charged topic, and if it becomes a debate on morality, so be it - but hopefully this can be a space to share personal experiences and process lingering emotions
Anyone else here whos just never really had friends besides family members, feels completely disconnected from other people due to having a mind that works differently and sees neetdom as a favourable option. I just wanted a deeper meaning to life so that i could know that my input matters but apparently everything is subjective and you assign things their value. Given that im unable to see the same value in things people on average see, why cant i just live for myself instead of pretending theres a connection between me and others?
Raising a friends self esteem
How can I help raise my friends self esteem?
We've been getting a lot closer and they recently opened up about issues with their self esteem. To keep it short and sweet, they just have no self assurance. They don't like how they look and are very insecure about themself as a person.
I know that "no you're not like that" and "you should accept yourself teehee" aren't the most effective methods of helping them.
I don't relate to anyone and once people really get to know me they never relate to me either. Even my own fiance doesn't seem to fully understand me though he does try very hard. I don't relate to people here either but it's the closest it gets for me. Being very mentally ill and growing up "homeschooled" with no contact with humans that weren't my insane mother has definitely taken a toll on me. I don't even know how to feel about it, because I can't really miss something I've never experienced. But it does kind of suck every time I think I find "my place" I eventually realize that I'm once again like an alien just trying to put a mask on to imitate those around me.
Also I hate it whenever I tell very average, normal people this and they're like "dw everyone feels out of place sometimes :)" like ok since we're the same then why do you have actually close friendships with people who can grasp your experiences and not make you feel inherently dirty and alien? Let's trade off.
What medieval princess are you today?
how do i make friends
How do I make new friends? I feel very disconnected from the people around me and I want to make new friends. I have some people who already like to spend time with me but most of them aren't the kind of people I want to spend a lot of time with. I'm a senior in college so this might be futile, but I want to try anyway.
There's all kinds of people I think I could have great friendships with but our relationships literally don't get anywhere. E.g. one of my coworkers likes the same obscure games as me and we get along well and I want us to be friends but I literally don't know how to do that. Also he's a man and I don't want to seem like I'm hitting on him cos I have a bf already. Also I don't have autism or anything, I'm a great listener and I'm good at holding conversations and I'm generally warm and pleasant and funny I think.
Ok idk what the fuck I'm talking about anymore. I'm deeply isolated and I need friends. Tell me what to do. Help
Started dating guy and this is both of ours first relationships I guess but I’m deathly afraid he’s going to notice how big and crooked my nose is and ghost me, he really hates Jews…and well I look like one, I have my dads huge long crooked nose (we aren’t even Jewish, but definitely have some Semitic ancestry along the line) when I was a kid I had the cutest button nose like my mom has, but then it slowly grew into a Jewish schnoz fml
Is there any hope for a probably literally autistic mid tier looking autist no brain neet? Ill never be the kind of person i want to be. i dont know what i am, im just some kind of creature and i feel like my fate is mostly predetermined and i shouldnt strive for anything. Im not the worst kind of creature there could be but just being imperfect why should i keep trying
Emotions in images.
Post images that make you feel something.
How to be more confident?
I've got to a point where my confidence is just gone, I just don't feel comfortable striking up to my friends and talk with them, let alone talking with boys. My uni tests all go to shit because I keep panicking while doing them. What can I do to increase my confidence? Only sincere advice please
bf of 8 years
active cheating, horribleness physicalness/mental, no plan to stop with expectation to continue sex and motions of the day
used to be hot crazy hipster intellectual man..
Dreams Thread
This is a thread where you can post all your dreams you have and maybe discuss it with other anons. I don't know where else to post it on here so here goes:
I had a strange dream last night that I can't quite understand. I usually have dreams that foretells of future events or just random dreams that are made up of the thoughts I had the night before so this one is unusual even by my own standards.
>for some reason im in a jail cell serving 5 months for disrespecting a officer
>im sharing a jail cell with some guy, which is weird because im pretty sure mixed sex jails don't exist in my county
>he's nice to me and we end up being friends
>i get out one month early for good behavior
>while im walking out of jail i think "i can see how this fucks up people now. it makes you more antisocial [???]"
>the police officer who pressed charges on me calls me to his office and says he released me early because im 17 and i shouldn't be serving 5 months in jail anyway (im 19 in real life)
>i try to get to my house but i end up bumping into my cellmates jogging outside with a drill instructor
>i leave to use the public restroom and two prisoners end up following me in there
>one of the prisoners was my old cellmate. wtf
>they start to grab me and drag me in the stall while other prisoners come in there to basically.. yeah
>wake up confused as fuck and worried
Context: The area i live in is kind of dangerous and the crime rate has gone considerably up in the past 5 years. I walk outside for all kinds of reasons and i noticed there's a lot of shady men who follow me around and try to talk to me and such. I recently got almost abducted.. twice.. just because I was outside by myself after 9pm. I feel paranoid tbh but i don't know anyone who has this feel
i think im going to start using men and people that generally dont deserve kindness. im tired of being nice. if someone is sweet to me ill continue to treat them well but other than that why not use pathetic people (mainly men) as my stepping stones for personal development and my own ego?
being good all my life has gotten me nowhere and im still a loser!! this is my evil arc
What makes someone a truly "dark" person? Everyone has a potential for evil and does little "bad" things here and there. So when does a person get to the level where they're getting abnormally dark? Where does it begin?
pic unrelated, I'm on my dad's laptop and this is the only picture that's on it.
How do you deal with friends and family moving away?
Almost everyone I love has moved at least a half hour’s drive away. I know it’s not much, but it’s just not the same when you have to plan out your whole day to go visit them. I really miss calling someone up and being spontaneous and saying “hey! Wanna hang out?” And a few have moved 2 hrs+ or cross country.
Some of my friendships have fizzled put since they moved, and two of them moved just to make a few measles extra dollars per hour in a different town, still working overtime at their same slave wage jobs.
I guess I’m the only townie left. Even my grandma and my parents were forced to move for financial reasons.
I think I’m dealing with this okay, I’m not having an episode about it’ because I know I can’t change anything. But it still gnaws at my heart. I had a nightmare last night about everyone I love who has moved.
>there are still women out there who believe that if they suck dick, bake cookies enough and birth a mans children, he will stay loyal to them
Moment of silence for those poor fools.
Eating Disorder General
A thread for the discussion of eating disorders. Anything goes, from anorexia to bulimia, orthorexia to binge-eating disorder etc.
>when did your ED first emerge?
>was there anything in particular that triggered it?
>how has it affected you as an individual?
>if they're aware, how have your family and friends reacted to it?
>have you ever deliberately encouraged its development?
>have you ever attempted recovery?
>did you ever participate in ED-centric online communities (i.e. MPA, LJ, Tumblr)?
Pro-ana thinspiration is disallowed as per rule 10.
(OP is River's Edge by Okazaki Kyoko)
I can't trust my own emotions
Last night I wanted to die and even resorted to my old habits of self harm. Today I feel much better. I can't make decisions because I always change my mind and my emotions shift.
I don't know what to do with my life because of this. Sometimes I'm so up it's crazy. Other times I'm so down it's equally crazy. I don't really believe in medication tbh.
What should I do?
What do you do if a man beats you in a relationship?
death thread
How do you feel about death, anons?
Are you afraid of it?
Looking forward to it?
Are you currently mourning anyone?
I miss my dad and think quite often about how I would like to go see him, wherever he is.
i'm attracted to men, but only in theory.
in practice i'm disgusted by them, or indifferent at best. i rarely have positive feelings towards a male, and even when i do it's nothing beyond slight affection and camaraderie.
i know i'm not a lesbian or bisexual because i never felt attracted to a girl, or at least not strongly and consistently.
but at the same time, i don't really feel that way towards men either, be it celebrity moids or irl ones.
it's like an emptiness of romantic and sexual drive where i know i can feel it and wish i did, but can't find anyone to direct that flow of energy towards because no one makes me feel that way.
a limbo.
Ghosting
Have any of you girls been ghosted? A guy ghosted me after we were close for a couple of months and I still think about him every day, I feel so shitty about myself now…
Male Focused Porn / Erotica
I hate the way gay men have ruined any sort of male focused erotica/pornography.
Any time I'd wanna look at erotic pictures or videos of a dude, it'd ALWAYS involved something that mostly gay men would enjoy (shots of asses, femboys, multiple men getting very handsy with each other etc).
I don't really watch porn that much anymore, but just remembering how annoying this was made me feel like going on a rant.
Do you have an unhealthy romantic obsession with someone?
I am a wallflower
I am the most forgettable person on this planet. Proof:
>people commonly forget my name ever after years of knowing me
>shy and introverted (a given)
>at work nobody hears my pages for customer assistance
>in conversation I can never get a word in no matter how loud I am, I am often talked over on the regular
>both therapists I've seen have forgotten about me completely and didn't show up to appointments
>at this point I could walk into a public place stark naked and nobody would care.
The only attention I get is from scrotes who want sex and my family. Kill me
Dating someone with autism
Hello, i need some advice. To make a long story short, I have been thinking of dating a man who has admitted to being diagnosed with autism. I don't really have any idea on what to expect. And if anyone has an experience with dating someone on the autism spectrum please let me know.
Help??
>boyfriend comes over and fingers me
>I overstimulate,
>My leg twitches for the rest of the evening and is still current
what does this mean???
Moral dilemma
I'm stuck with a moral dilemma. I received a package today that was not meant for me. It has my address but it's not to me, or the last Tennant before me. Without thinking I opened it and it is a very expensive blanket. It's so soft and comfortable. I'm torn because I really want to keep it but I feel bad because it's not mine. Im not sure where to begin on returning it because the name on the package is relatively generic so it's not like I can just look them up and sending it back to the seller seems moot because they're a huge brand and they're not going to help the person actually get their package. I know I'm a POS for keeping it so any sage advice would be appreciated. Pic related, it's me being comfy as fuck in this blanket.
where do i meet someone to hang out with? should i make a tindr?
so much anxiety my hands are tingling and swelling i feel dizzy an dlightheaded my stomach aches and i feel like throwing up I'm posting her to take e my mind off things and to breathe.
its funny that I've experienced these symptoms since i hit puberty.
i hate anxiety and I'm never taking stupid prescribed drugs that make me addicted .
I need some support gals. I'm sorry to make yet another moid thread but, I seriously didn't expect this.
So this moid I've been talking for a while, we recently got into some sort of LDR and it seemed to go well I guess. Until he told me he didn't see anything wrong with dating a minor. I tried to argue against it but he just didn't see anything wrong with it. He's in his early 20s.
There were some redflags but I ignored them cause I thought he was genuinely a good person. I know I'm doing the right thing by not talking to him anymore but I'm honestly sad. I want to cry but honestly I'm still in shock, so I guess after that wears off I'll be able to cry.
I'm so close to giving up on men honestly, but I'm only 21. I want to have a deep connection with someone, I'm only human after all. I wish I were a lesbian so badly.
Breaking up with a friend
Have you ever ended a friendship? I personally think it hurts more than regular breakups.
Prompts:
>How long have you been friends?
>How was the friendship when you were starting out vs when it was nearing its end?
>What caused you to break up?
>How do you feel now?
>Got any regrets?
how does a goblin become something other than a goblin
How do you accept being extremely creepy looking and unlikeable, and stop being self-conscious about it and instead just move on?
Honestly my whole life has been a trainwreck. I won't get into details but let's just say I was born with a few disabilities, my family tried to murder me when I was a child (there was a court case over it), while my peers said I looked like a creepy demon and guys made jokes about me shooting up the school someday. I grew up without any friends while being constantly bullied.
I am ugly. Awkward. Weird. Have nothing really to say besides desperately wanting to get along with people bc the only times in my life I felt ok was when I was having fun with others (often bc of some fluke). I tried glowing up after breaking down over realizing how fucked up I was…it failed and it turned out I was just ugly and too masculine looking. I'm here on HnB bc I spent many years chasing after those things and it just backfired.
Now that I'm older I'm at the point that it's completely dumb to expect me to ever look cute and, holy shit, I made such a massive mistake in focusing so much on my looks. Most of the best things in life have nothing to do with looks tbh.
I thought by being beautiful I'd finally get people to like me but I realize that I was just cheaping out all along. People aren't gonna like me and most of that has to do with me as a person. But I'm having so much trouble with getting over my past experiences with others that I can no longer authentically talk to them or treat them as individuals. It's always "oh let me just be super polite and super defensive". AKA, constantly anxiety-fueled deer in headlights "omg I don't want to bother them" energy…except ironically I probably unsettle people more over acting the way I do. AND I'M IN MY MID 20s. This is unacceptable to be so goddamned self-conscious.
I'm ashamed of the way I am and I'm not sure how to move on bc tbh I have this dumbass voice in my head that says that I need to look a certain way or act a certain way that…I just don't know how to.
I idealize people that talk freely, have fun together, say cute weird things and ideas and stories. And I feel like some fly on the wall, eternally menacing, and I'm so ashamed of it.
I hate when normies try to get you to open up about your mental state
you will hear these people judge any morbid thought put out into the world and weep at slurs but think they can handle hearing you talk about why you are the way you are
and its obvious they don't actually care they just want the superiority of feeling like they can fix someone's illness
>smacks hand on a wall in annoyance
>ends up having to go to hospital to get xray
>greeted by a female wanting to get some details about me
>asks how old i am, i say "i'm alright"
>behind me is a hot male…
can life get any worse?
Do you doomscroll?
I CAN’T STOP GETTING PAINFUL CRUSHES ON MEN THAT ARE TOO GOOD FOR ME TO EVEN LOOK AT
uhhhhhh my ex says im an abuser? what do i call this thread
so i dated and lived with this guy for two years. for reference im a 20 year old female and i dated him from the ages of 17-19. he was only a year older.. he was emotionally manipulative and i believe a narcissist. i myself have bipolar disorder, anxiety and bpd(dont roast me just bc bpd pls).. usually narcs and bpd's always end up together. anyway two times in our relationship he lied to me and nearly cheated and both of those times i experienced blackout rage and hit him. first time was hitting on his back and second after he invited another girl over i punched him in the face.. we broke up after that because he told his mom i abused him and he had to move out.. but now he goes around tellling people in our city that i abused him. and i mean i did twice.. but saying i abused him feels like a bit much for what happened no? i mean i can recall during the last argument he sat on top of me and choked me.. and i dont tell anyone that he was an abuser.. am i an abuser? he also tells people that i starved him which i NEVER did. not to mention he lost like 30 pounds AFTER we broke up-.-…but anyway yeah now a good amount of people that i used to be friends with blocked me online because they think im an abuser and others dont wanna be my friend bc theyve heard around… …. constructive criticism welcome
32 yo and virgin with no social life
32 f here. Probably autistic. I spent my life extremely isolated and alone. Never had organic social life outside my home. I have convinced myself it's not such a big deal. I am seeing a guy and he says I act like a robot. I really, really like him andso every once in a while I say "you're really special to me" so he knows."
He's starting to say I act autistic and he is tired of not knowing how I feel. I'm scared of losing him.
32 years with no touch is hard on a person. I have decided if we are to kiss or touch at all it will be in marriage, otherwise I'm just not ready to. I hope he asks me to marry him so I can finally be free of the constant loneliness.
Can you all relate to me?
Should I be worried?
How can I fix my problem?
Do any other bigger girls hattteee when people single out your face as pretty? Like you know exactly what their hinting at. It makes me wanna scream. Allll the damn time I hear how if I lost weight I’d be a 10, like I honestly should give a shit about that.
Penis Pain
i hate dudes but i cant stop wanting to fuck em. What do i do?
>see attractive male
>think to myself "he probably has a girlfriend"
>feel angry and envious for about 20 minutes
Anyone else do this?
>zoomers referring to suicide as "The Final Yeet"
I just can't anymore.
i will never be able to have a relationship with the most perfect guy i have ever come to know because he is from spain and i am from america and it hurts
What's a self employment alternative for a weird dummy?
I can't handle the stress and anxiety of working for someone and I figure the only solution is working for myself.
Do you dislike or look down on girls who are not feminine? I have always been very insecure around other girls (have been bullied by them before which might be part of it).
I hate 4chan so much!
This site is full of pedophiles, nazis, Holocaust deniers and overall immoral people. 4chan is why I hate moids…
I am literally Kobeni
>youngest of 6 brothers
>forced to look for a job because parents couldn't afford uni
>chose to become a P.I because it sounded like fun
>now I can't leave the house without being scared
Have been working at this for three years now and I know this line of work is likely to end up in a gruesome death before I hit 29 but I love my bros so much that I'll do anything to keep reeling in the money. Not everything is bad, I get free food for stakeouts (which last hours at a time) and the senior who trained me was nice enough to let me smoke inside his car.
>inb4 were the options really this or prostitution
More like this, onlyfans, a call center or MC wagie.
How should you deal with your boyfriend when he's being an ass?
Sometimes he does stuff that makes me want to wack him with a mallet, but when I calm down I know that's irrational.
So how should I deal with him when he's like this, should I just ignore him and bottle these feelings up or try explaining to him why he's an ass?
I was playing Coldwar COD this weekend because it’s my long weekend and I’m chilling, and I get an invite to join some guy and his game on coldwar, it says we’re friends but I don’t remember adding him.
He spammed me with invites the first day and sent me voice messages and he sounded so cute and funny, I sent him one back saying hi and that I can’t play I’m too tired and went to bed. He said he was very drunk and I went to bed.
The next night I got onto play and he begins spam inviting me and messages me and sends voice recordings like “hey where you at let’s play” lol, and I will be honest and say when I get invites from Anyone in game lobbies to play with them I don’t accept, it’s mostly guys and I’ve had far too many bad experiences with men online and IRL to let myself be in a position like that again.
I’ll get invites from girls sometimes but they don’t invite me after that because of how autistic and slow I am in the game, so they just think I’m rude and weird.
I accept his invite and he’s playing with 2 friends, his friends don’t acknowledge me (which I love) but the guy that Invited me is super excited I joined lol and he starts the game up and we all start playing.
Then he asked for my Snapchat (which I’m always hesitate to give any info to anyone) I gave it because hes cute and well if he tries to get me to cybersex him I’ll block him,no harm no gain.
He sends me a pic, I send him one of my face
He’s so cute lmao, and he sent me all the guns he had and his gun collection.
He showed me a video of him at a music festival.
He was so charming and :/I knew him for only 2 days and it felt like I felt in love with this guy I’m so sad.
Long story short some point when we were alone in the game I asked to see a movie poster he said he had of the movie Drive, because he asked me what movie is my favourite and we both said that one. He said his gf is sleeping in his room and he can’t show me and she would probably be upset that he’s sending photos at all let alone talking to another girl in game, and added onto Snapchat.
Also he was drunk (told his friends he was) but was very coherent the entire time we all played.
He went to bed late after me and him played just me and him after 4 hours, he said we would play later when he’s awake.
He sent me a link to the poster of the movie because I wanted to buy it
I now come to see
Now I see he’s removed me off Snapchat and PS4 and COD, why do I feel sad about this?
How do I navigate straight people culture as a straight woman?
It's no secret that straight men enjoy pitting women against each other, from female friends to even mothers and daughters. They like creating resentment and hostility between us for some reason, and some women even join in and deride other women for their boyfriends or husbands. I don't want to find myself in social situations where there's bitterness and animosity between me and another woman just because some guy is involved and we're both female.
- How do I avoid being used as a pawn in these "social games"?
- How can I find women who see through these men and don't want to be part of these games either?
- How do I signal to other women that I don't want to put up with male bullshit and female competition? Should I pretend to be a lesbian? Or asexual?
I think I have my first ever serious relationship (that’s consensual), but it isn’t what I ideally expected or desired. My BF? (Friend who’s a boy?) is very similar to me in almost all ways, which I love but is also scary.
He also admitted to me on the first date that he has bipolar disorder (1) and goes to therapy, I also told him I attend therapy, after that We began talking about our therapists and it was so fun lol.
But he switches between texting me a lot, sending me videos and memes and talking about interesting mutual topics, to not talking to me at all or being very distant.
Also he lives in my city (kinda) but he lives very far, and him and me both are like giant adult children and we don’t drive or have licenses and both of us get major anxiety when we have to be alone in distant places.
It feels like it isn’t a relationship but idk what this is?
He’s never dated before, also he’s asexual and so am I, this is probably my favourite thing about him. It just proves to me he doesn’t want me for sex like everyone else has done to me, he likes talking to me and spending time with me because he likes me
On our first in person date he wouldn’t hardly make eye contact with me, and I did the same lol, it was so great it was like we’re on the same level and he’s like me.
He even told me that he’s very awkward
Ahhhh I’ve never felt this from a man before omg lol
I am fucked
>22 year old high school graduate, autistic hikkikomori,have shit motor /executive functioning/ verbal/ writting and social skills that immediately distinguish me amongst other adults and make me a target for ableism
>Not on disability cause psychiatrist keeps procrastinating
>It's the start of the school year where you have to attend preuni classes for a year in order to take the uni entrance exam
>Can't even study cause i have a meltdown whenever i think about it
>Last time I tried attending i had a meltdown
>parents expect me to enroll
Who here tired of being a fucking autist
Sketchy Dating Advice
Do you follow "sketchy" or manipulative dating advice? Similar to how men have their PUA bullshit.
Where do you get it from? Has it helped you?
I have no interest in hurting a man, but I am interested in getting them to like me.
i would have liked to make a thread about discussing experiences with sexual assault, but i am convinced that there'd be moids reading it and getting turned on by the stories. and it makes me sad that we can't even talk about it here and be safe when it's already a thing we can't safely talk about in real life. i don't know a single woman who hasn't at least experienced some sort of harassment, if not outright rape, but i don't know a single one where there were consequences for the perpetrator. and some days that thought pops up in my mind and it just makes everything feel so bleak and depressing.
In love with a NEET
I've been seeing a blackpilled NEET guy who I think I'm in love with. He has taken distance lately, and said he can't start a real relationship because of his glaring personal problems. I'm aware of them and I know they are bad, but I'm still in fucking love.
He's insecure and can't believe how hot I find him, and how strong mental connection I feel. But I've been in emotional pain for the past few weeks, because I just want to marry him but he can't even be in a relationship.
>Forget all about me.
>Cuz guess what? That's what's gonna happen.
>He's NOT gonna let me be your friend,
>he's NOT gonna let us do stuff together,
>and there's NO WAY it's gonna be able to work,
>and you're gonna have to come to a point
>where you're gonna choose him or me,
>and you're gonna choose him. You will.
>Because that's what EVERYONE does.
>That's what ALWAYS happens.
>IT'S NEVER ME.
>I'M NEVER GOOD ENOUGH
>I'M – AHHHHHHHHH
Why are they like this?
Did your boyfriend/husband wait for marriage before sex? What is your experience with convincing men to wait? Is it worth it? Does it work? Do the good men also walk away? Is it even a good idea in the first place, if seemingly no one seems to do that anymore?
I am from Germany and this whole concept is basically completely foreign to young people here.
career paths
is anyone else really struggling to find a career path?
i'm 20 now and i'll be finishing my a.a. this spring. the problem is, i don't know what to do after.
i'm scared if i don't continue college i won't ever be able to support myself so ideally, i'd like to.
my dream job would be wildlife biology but i've heard a lot of the work is long, hard, unpaid or paid very little.
so…right now i'm thinking about a paralegal or graphic design certificate program at my college.
i love to learn, write, be creative/design/sew, make music, and be around/care for animals, but i feel none of my interests can really translate into a career.
writing a book? having an etsy store? making an album? not anything that will make me money, and if it does, i cant support myself from it!
im seriously losing my mind because i feel like i need to decide soon or else ill be some loser. not to mention i already feel bad that i dont wish to pursue a career such as a doctor or therapist or something…
i just don't know what the right fit for me would be. i just want to be able to be around animals and create cute things and make music but i need money to live.
I had an anorexic friend that I met years ago when we took the same classes.
I don't think she's a hardcore anorexic since she's never been hospitalized afaik but she only eats 1 meal a day plus snacks, severely underweight, works out very regularly, loves to body check and compare all the time and I feel that she only befriended me because I motivated her to not gain weight because I was overweight then.
she'd talk about how [thing] makes her feel skinny and tries to make me do it which always made uncomfy and embarrassed because she'd grab a part of my body that is fatty then act surprised when I tell her it makes me feel fat then in response she'd always make me touch said part on her and it was of course boney, she did that all the time it was weird.
then right before the pandemic I lost ton of weight and a bmi of 22 which was a huge improvement, she stopped seeing me and became busy all the time.
during lockdown I gained ton of weight and my bmi skyrocketed to 29 and she now wants to hang out with me again.
I started working on losing weight and one day i was wearing leggings and a tanktop under my jacket that I took off while we were chatting and she looked at me with disgust but prolly noticed that I'm losing weight again and I haven't heard from her since and she's busy again.
I also noticed that she's always surrounded herself with mostly heavier women, 4/5 of her closest friends were fat, she had another anorexic friend briefly and they used to exchange dieting and excise tips but it didn't last long.
Was she using me to fuel her anorexia? am I just fatspo to her? we've been friends for 5+ years I feel deeply betrayed.
>haven’t had a crush in years
>talk to this really cute boy on a dating app
>he’s really nice doesn’t ask me for nudes or anything
>sends me a picture in a towel and my brain melts….he looks like a freaking ken doll.
>he asks if I wanna hangout….I think this means sex
>except when I get there we cuddle and he plays with my hair and gives me forehead kisses
>things get a little more lewd and handsy but he keeps asking if I’m okay with it and if I’m okay in general. We don’t have sex cause he doesn’t have a condom.
>the entire time I’m getting dressed he keeps running his fingers along my skin.
>I think I messed it up because I could barley talked I was so nervous….and he didn’t message me afterwards
>is this the chad experience…..? :,)
I’ve gotten so depressed that I really haven’t felt like eating. I have basically caused malnutrition in my joints in about a week, not that I honestly care. I was having trouble sleeping so atleast now with the lack of nutrients I can sleep.
I haven’t cleaned my room in about 4 days, my bf gets home from work and immediately starts lecturing. He knows what’s been going on it seems that he just doesn’t care.
All in all he told me he’s sick of me and then locked me out of my room.
I really hate men
Is your boyfriend perfect? Does he have any negative traits? How about positive traits?
Talk about it here!
how is my plan?
boyfriend cheated on me 6 days after my birthday last year.
he doesnt know i know.
Tried to cheat back. couldnt.felt disgusting.
Coovid made me gain a little weight. I built a PC and he will not stay off of it unless he works.
thinking about gym max-ing and dumping him on his birthday in a year or so. maybe take him on a vacation?
I've been on the internet daily talking to strangers for over a decade now and my brain is fried to the point of no return, I haven't been able to make that many online friends in the last three years and the few I had/made are almost all gone because I've been working on myself and making IRL friends and started to see that these few people treated me badly and I was wasting my time talking to them… Still, I can't really live without reporting everything I do and every small thought I have to some audience, my experience with discord servers in the last two years was even worse than five years ago and I don't know where to find servers that I could fit in without feeling uncomfortable; I wouldn't be comfortable spamming in say a CC server or to someone, I met through CC because there is always the possibility that I could get my doxx and personal info posted all over.
That being said I've been considering maybe going on /soc/ despite it being leagues worse but I saw miners talk about meeting nice people through /soc/.
maybe it's a good thing that it's harder to meet people online and connect with them now, maybe it's about time I start wasting less time talking to strangers and focus on my IRL relationships only but I can't help but feel an itch and a need to text someone and share the memes I found with and my IRLs ghost me for days at a time and the handful of online people I have left are no different when it comes to ghosting.
I crave attention so much, should I start posting my life on twitter and instgram??
Vent thread
Previous thread >>60740
What is the most fucked up thing your boyfriend ever wanted from you?
My first boyfriend turned out to be a porn addict. He was also generally a loser. I wish I had the confidence I have now.
>has a foot-fetish and wanted footjobs
>wanted me to watch porn with him, which was one of the most mood-killing experiences I ever had
I broke up with him not soon after he asked me to try anal. I hate how that's a thing now. I hate how so many moids can't enjoy normal sex anymore and demand these weird things from you.
Is it okay to pursue roommates?
A few weeks ago, we got a new housemate in the house and I have a massive crush on him. He's good looking, tall, super kind and makes us all dinner, very clean we have a lot of deep and meaningfuls and I think if we were to go drinking, I could pretty easily successfully make a move.
The thing is, I've had roommates in other houses go after me before and I haven't been interested, so it made things super awkward and frankly, awful for me having to avoid people in my own house. So I know how badly this could go if he turns me down.
Have any of you had experiences of hooking up with roomies or trying too, or it happening to you and how did it go?
I'm doing so well but yet I've never wanted to die so much as I've wanted to the past year. I find myself going out blackout drunk and laying at bus stops just to remeber how it was back when I didn't have any money or anyone that cared about me. Idk why I'm so unhappy when I have everything I ever asked for. Was even getting a job at a super nice lolita clothing brand, got my dream home and I finally got attention from the girl I like but idk it just feels too late.
studying
about to start school soon and am stressing out.
how does a lazy good for nothing slacker become a studious book smart student? what do you do to study and stay on schedule? what do you do to focus? how to not get stressed out in school? how do you not fall behind? im genuinely clueless and am afraid ill fail all my classes.
Studying something I hate
I spent my teenage years being depressed and not really caring about anything, I kinda wanted to study botanics (is that the english term) but my parents told me to go study programming and I was like ok may as well. We have barely started it but I already hate it so much. 90% of the class are either nerds or just fuckboys, the girls are not much better and I hate programming itself too. Fuckkkkk I should have just studied botanicism, the few extra hundreds on my paycheck is so not worth my sanity and me not having any social life cause all these people can talk about is getting wasted or some random hobby that they autistically obsess over.
All I wanted was to study something I could understand that is reasonably practical and where I could meet people that are neither nerds nor just oversocialized babies, but I signed myself up for the complete opposite, fml.
Why is rent so fucking high
I'm breaking down I can't fucking afford shit even if I live in an inhuman piece of shit apartment with nothing but a fridge I still can't afford it. I still live with my parents and they don't let me do some stuff I want to do because of "my house my rules" but I can't get out I want to scream but that's not allowed either.
Do you ever just over hear your parents/relatives talk about you and its like they don't even consider the possibility that you might be mentally ill or autistic and that's what's stopping you from having a functional/fulfilling life
They just think you're lazy and you have to get over it
Any femcels here
>Whats stopping you from not being a femcel
For me its not like there aren't any guys that are into me it's just that its hard for me to connect socially with people.
Need to get OUT
I need to get OUT of this place.
I’m going to lose my fucking job because of stupidity. I’m going to lose my therapist, my doctor, my apartment, my life up to this point. I’m 20 and am entirely financially independent, if/when I get my plug pulled I am going to be FUCKED. Fuck this hick ass state, fuck these ignorant ass people, get me the hell away from PA. Help me live out my Dune fremen fantasy and pick which state go to in the American Southwest.
my ex has ruined my life and taken my friends from me and he continues to be popular despite abusing myself and other girls and people look up to him i cant take this its ruined me so bad mentally i need to kill myself im not strong enough for this
>be me, 25 y/o
>check mail one day
>get letter from guy i used to know back in high school
>address listed as a prison
>what
>this guy was always a little awkward but nice, no way he could've done anything that bad
>open letter and read it
>he says he's been looking for me for 2 years, calls me his best friend and says to write back as soon as possible
>am now extremely suspicious and concerned since we were just friendly classmates
>do a bit of googling
>he's in prison for kidnapping and rape of a middle school girl
>mfw
what the fuck do i do? we were only in the same friend group and never spoke again after graduation… i live in a different state now, how did he even find my address? do i write back and tell him to not contact me again, or just ignore this and try to forget it happened? i feel gross just being remotely associated with him.
>invite some people to join a study group with me for a very difficult course
>they all enthusiastically agree and join a gc with me
>invite them to study at a well-known location at a clearly specified time days in advance because we had an exam coming up
>also post a reminder in our gc 30 minutes in advance
>studied at [earlier specified location] for 4 hours alone before going home
>they all ghosted me
>didn't even tell me they couldn't make it
>nobody even bothered lying to me to save face
Why is it so hard to make friends in current year +7? I don't think I acted autistically in this situation at all, and I'm always outgoing, friendly, dressed nicely, not fat or hideously ugly, etc, so what gives?
jealous over other girls
how do i stop feeling jealous and insecure with the previous women my bf was with? i was a virgin before i met my boyfriend so i've shared all my firsts with him. first date, handholding, kiss, hug, sex etc. i have been thinking about my relationship with him and reflected on what i have always wanted, which is to share firsts with another human and explore intimacy. which has led me to the heartbreaking feeling that i am not his first. i love him deeply that it pains me to not have been there with him when he explored love and romance for the first time.
i feel like i missed out on all his first intimate moments with a girl, and that girl wasn't me but someone else. i never got to see his nervous demeanour on his first date. i never got to see his reaction when he first hugged a girl. held hands with a girl for the first time… first kissed a girl. touched intimate body parts of a girl, viewed a naked girl's body for the first time… i never got to experience all those 'firsts' with him and i feel so depressed over it.
i often find myself wondering who these girls were, and i fantasize about the moments he had with them. was it magical? what were they like? how did he interact with them? did he kiss them the way he kissed me? was he attracted to them physically? what did they talk about? what interests did they share? does he miss them when he's with me? does he regret not waiting to share all those moments with me? i want to ask him about his past, about these girls, to give me peace of mind. but i am nervous and scared. what if he liked some aspect of them more than he likes me? what if he misses one of them?
would really appreciate insight from anyone who also went through a similar thought process or fear and got over it. is it a good idea to ask him about his past, or to be blissfully ignorant?
Have you ever been rejected(romantically)? How did you handle it? How did you react?
do any miners here have a very specific preference when it comes to a partner
i am just starting to realize that I have a very specific "type" when it comes to my attraction towards men, but im wondering if anyone else has any specific non-vague types. I honestly haven't really talked to anyone about their own or even my "type", but the ones I have seen in media are maybe vague or fall into some trope/cliche/stereotype. Therefore, i am not sure if my certain preferences are normal or not, maybe i am looking for reassurance or a reason to talk about it.. i dont know sorry if this seems dumb/stupid/insignificant, but it has just been on my mind recently and i supposed that this was the best way to get it out. sorry if this was cringe.
When the moid won't moid
I don't want to initiate sexual stuff with the guy I like but he doesn't do it either and I'm getting girl blue balls whenever we talk at this point (it's an online thing).
I flirted with him a bunch of times, but he doesn't flirt back which embarrasses me.
It's not that it makes me feel insecure or it breaks my heart or anything, I just want to coom with him.
I guess I'll just stop though because I don't want him to see me as pushy and coombrained.
Anyone ever got back together with an ex bf or gf?
Just to clarify, this isn't a "is it a good idea to get back together with an ex" thread, more a curiosity for what people's experiences with it were like. I know a lot of people might strongly believe it's a bad idea, I'm not advocating for it, simply looking to hear stories out of interest.
Some questions for consideration, answer as much or as little as you're comfortable with:
>What was the cause of the breakup?
>How did you feel right after the breakup? Angry, miserable, numb, or something else? Did you want to move on forever or were you still hanging onto the relationship?
>How long were you apart for before getting back together? What was this time period like?
>How was the idea to get back together brought up? Why did you choose to get back together?
>Do you feel like enough things changed or that enough steps were taken to address the reason for the original breakup?
>Are you still together today or did you break up again? Why do you think that result happened?
>Overall, do you regret getting back together?
Maladaptive Daydreaming
How do I put an end to it? I feel like I've wasted most of my best years due to this.
>tfw too polite to say no to things i do not want to do
>tfw i let down a friend group today because I was too scared of letting down my family who i was scared to ditch
Scared of relationships, need advice
I want to be loved, but I don't want to date anyone. Thinking about a future with someone else, raising children, having to share spaces. It's all awful. I know I could have a boyfriend (I'm not hideous or handicapped) but I just don't want to. I feel uncomfortable around men, I'm always expecting the betrayal, ready to be disappointed, waiting for something to go wrong. I'm terrified of things not working out and getting my heart broken in a million pieces, of being stuck and hurt. I don't want to marry anyone, but I don't have to live going to to multiple tinder dates a week and hooking up either. How do I cope with the realization that I'll die alone because I just don't like other people? Is this okay? Wait if I regret this later, and I find myself alone and unable to have children of my own? Is there a way for me to overcome my fear of men and relationships?
I dated a guy before, when I was 17-18, and I hated almost every second of it after we started officially dating, I don't think I can stand to be so close to anyone else ever again.
Also, since I've only had sex with one person I'm scared of having sex with other people. I don't know why, I just find it anxiety inducing. I didn't like sex when I had it, and I'm certain I won't like it if I try again. I hate the idea of someone seeing me naked, I find it embarrassing. How can I know who actually likes me for being me, and who just wants to get in my pants but won't see me as a person? I start spiraling with all kinds of thoughts related to the matter. What if other guys don't want to date me because I'm not a virgin? Or what if they don't want to date me because I'm not "easy"? Or what if they don't want to date me at all? What if none will ever love me? I just feel disgraceful, ruined. I want to be happy, but I'm scared of being seen and touched and I can't make myself happy, either. What can I do?
Constant fear my boyfriend will stop being attracted to me
Okay so I constantly fear that he will stop being attracted to me and leave for retarded reasons.
I literally just got my bangs cut and she cut them too short (they're like a finger's width above my eyebrows, I wanna kms) and now I'm scared when he sees it he won't be attracted to me anymore
We've had a lot of drama lately as well because I've been in quite a bad place, and I've constantly been fearing he will leave me or that small things will be the last straw.
Can someone tell me I'm schizo and get me to stop fearing he will leave? Or give advice on how to strengthen my relationship again and show that I care and am not a psycho bitch (even though I probably am)
loneliness cope
i met my friend group through my boyfriend, so all of his friends are just kinda cool with me now, and its been like that for nearly two years now. i dont have anyone close to me other than him, i have no siblings and my parents and i dont have the best relationship.
every time his buddies would get new gfs, me and the chick would always get close, but as soon as they break up (usually within a month) she leaves and i never get to talk to her again and im getting pretty tired of getting close to them just for them to disappear.
do i keep trying to pursue friendships with them? feels kinda pointless at this point, but girl talk can be refreshing sometimes
>best friend is 25
>she is excited and telling me about her new moid
>attractive, tall, good job, yes, yes, yes
>he's 35
>red flag for me
>try to drop subtle hints this may not be a good idea
>meet him
>now I have a crush on him and I'm seething and jealous
Fucking kill me
No real life man is all three
>big dumb sexy bara himbo
>not gay
>not a misogynist
Yet another reason why I don't date men
> be me retarded mixed breed, 26 yrs old
> get abused 24/7 growing up and r*ped by older step bro
> only solace is neet shit like anime and vidya
> get really fat because neet and severe ptsd and depression
> always getting bullied at school, even my friend group didn't really care for me
> becomes fat friend™ and literally no one wants to date a roastie
> get abused mentally and physically by moids because i just wanted to feel loved
> go to college and get useless lib arts degree
> try to kill myself multiple times
> only people who care are my elderly godparents
> at least they got to see me graduate
> immediately return to neet life after graduation with my ex bf
> finds out he's cheating
> mfw i'm over 1k miles from home and my parents hate me
> start making plans to kill myself because my life was basically over
> meet really sweet guy on reddit
> we end up falling for each other
> i leave my ex and move in with my bf
> his family welcomes me with open arms even though i'm a retard
> let's me be a neet at their house while i find work
> not long after i end up getting my shit together, going to therapy, taking my meds and losing a bunch of weight
> no longer a neet and i have a big family that i think likes me
> bf is planning to wife me soon
> we're going to be able to afford our own place next year
I still plan on killing myself tho.
There is no happy ending for me.
Is there any place which is not infested by coomers and kids? I just want to make friends.
Nowhere feels like "home"
>22 years old
>Dirtpoor country
>Had to move in back with my parents due to high rent prices
>Degree in a useless major, no marketable skills
>Can't get a job, forced to be a NEET
Now I feel like I belong to nowhere. I don't feel like I have autonomy, I feel like I'm floating between days. Nothing I own feels like it is mine. I don't even feel comfortable in my own body. There is nowhere I can go, I have this constant feeling of "I wanna go home" even if I'm in my own room. Nothing brings me warmth and comfort and I don't really have a social life. I really don't see the point of this uncomfortable existence.
Neet thread?
Is anyone else a neet?
>How long has it been?
>How do you spend your days?
Honestly i'm so hopeless for the future and sad that i do nothing these days. I used to watch tv shows/animes/read mangas to cope when i was younger but they bore me now, same with video games, i never finish them. I despise social media so i don't have them, imageboards are fine sometimes but i feel like the toxicity is getting to me. I just stare at the ceiling and listen to music these days.
>Be me, khhv 23 year old
>ugly and no friends rl
>on discord 24/7
>meet a qt guy on discord
>long conversations, we talk on voice chat late night for 2+ hours
>show my pic and he calls me beautiful. First moid to call me beautiful
>He's also flirty otherwise
>I catch feels and blurt out that I like him one day.
>Says he likes me too but we can't be together because we live in different countries and such things don't end well
>We continue to talk and spend time, he's still occasionally flirty
>After a month again I ask if we have any future if I do certain things
>He says no, he can't commit to anything like that and says he wants time off
>Comes back after 24 hours
>We start talking again
>He's normie with thriving social life and has less contact with his friends due to pandemic and job
>He calls me friend but I still wonder what I mean to him, a friend truly or just an arrangement till everything gets back to normal and he can go back to his rl friends
This is the closest I got to anything romantic with a moid.
Idk what should I do with him
When I see people who are doing worse than me and have fewer privileges than I have I feel both sad for them and guilty for misusing it and wasting my time comparing myself to others who are better than me but this feeling never lasts because the next moment I see someone who is doing way better than me and I feel anger; anger because of inequality than the first group and this group but also anger because this is not me.
I'm stuck in this cycle of feeling grateful and guilty to feeling angry and jealous.
I'm not sure if it's someone everyone goes through or is it because of the way my parents brought me up teaching me to look at people who are doing worse and trying to help them, even then I found myself looking at girls who had it better and felt devastated… I had no one to talk with about it because I felt shame for even having these thoughts when there are people starving, as I got older and mature I realized these are normal human emotions that everyone feels, that it's normal to want more in life but I never had the chance to express that so I'll always struggle with regulating these emotions.
I have a lot of anger in me. I got out of therapy and I'm not going back, I'm not kidding when I say it was some hippy dippy shit like laying down with both palms facing upwards and thinking about the people you hate who have wronged you and walking a mile in their shoes. Fuck that noise, being told to do that just made me angrier and like my experience as the wronged is not important and like I'm not heard. By the time I got out of therapy I've already become self assured enough without the help of their bullshit DBT because meds have finally calibrated my brain. But lately when my anger overwhelms me I take my razor blade and cut myself (it's actually possible to cut yourself on all that edge - sorry, had to). The blade has gotten duller so it hurts a fair bit more drawing blood. I've done this a couple of times already and it might become an actual problem later on like with those people who are addicted to it. It doesn't really bring me any sense of relief or anything though, I do it almost unconsciously.
I don't hate myself, I have high self confidence like I mentioned earlier. I work out, I'm straight edge, eat well, sleep well, drink plain water and I'm on meds. I've done it all and I've done my best. I'm just a depressive. Right now I have a deadline for when I'll carry out my plan. I've got 23 more years to live since I have my little nieces and nephew to live for and protect from my pedophile incest freak family and from this shit world. I'm saving up the money for it. Time can't pass quickly enough. For the time being I'll express myself through art, find a few or a bunch of fwbs once lockdown is over and be there for as many people as I can even though I'm 24/7 in a mental health crisis myself. I just take a lot of pleasure in cheering people up or helping them through their problems, plus it distracts me from my own. Thanks for reading this stupid post but that's about it.
wanting to get assessed for autism
I have been struggling with this for the past 5 years, and its really starting to frustrate me. I really want to know what is going on with me. I already have been diagnoses with ADHD, anxiety, and OCD, but i just have this feeling that autism may be the root of most of it? At the same time, I am not sure if what im feeling even is autism, and if it isnt, then what is it? I just feel tired thinking about what part of me may or may not be adhd, anxiety, OCD or even autism. I wish I just knew for sure what was wrong with me instead of going through this awful process. theres so much I could talk about, but just thinking about tires me. I just want to get assessed… I am so tired.
by any chance, are there any miners who are attempting to get assessed? Doesnt have to be autism it could be anything really, i just would like to know if anyone has felt this way/is currently going through this.
/goodfeels/
post about something positive that happened to you, even if it’s small
avoidant personality disorder
I finally know what's wrong with me. My brain has been scrambled to want to run from confrontation, social events, social connections and all the things we as humans need to have in a social life. I am stuck, I cannot do all the things that normal people can do but the truth is that I don't want to get better because I want to resign myself to a bedroom all day.
It's exhausting. I wake up with dred, I get a buzz during the day thinking of all the cool things I could do in the future, I go to sleep, and the cycle continues. This is my daily routine for years now. I haven't done much with my time. I am only motivated with a delusion that it'll all magically fix itself.
Birthday
It's my birthday in a few days and I would like to do something nice but I don't know what I could do.
>recently broke up after 4 years and still hurting over it
>recently had to withdraw from college, NEET time now
>no true friends, a few people who like me but I don't feel connected with them
>people are mad about COVID here (leaf) so there's a lot of restrictions still
>live in small town
>don't want to drink or do drugs (I have addictive tendencies) or have casual sex
Does anyone have any ideas? I think I'd feel bad if I didn't do something special and different, but I'm not sure what I can do that'd really set the day apart.
What do you do when you crush on someone? Is it bad that I sometimes ignore or ghost him?
THE ANGEL FROM MY NIGHTMARE
Lifelong perm neet
Any other disabled neet here? I’m a woman and a lot of neet communities on discord resent me for such. I’m asexual and aromantic and have no boyfriend or interest in one. I also can’t drive and am essentially a adult child. My therapist even says my mental age is 12 due to me still loving toys at my age. I am autistic. I typically lurk here figured this will be likely my one and only post. Im in my late 30s almost 40. I like my life and it’s fairly ok. Parents gave me the master bedroom and I chill all day with my hobbies and internet. Curious, am I the only one? Totally fine if I am a lot of times I feel like the only one. I lurk the entire internet never or rarely ever posting.
how does one accept being ugly?
i’m a hideous bio female that has linebacker shoulders, a round face, wide nose w/ a bulbous nasal tip, acne, and narrow hips with no ass. i’m working as hard as i can to fix my acne and gymmaxxing to increase my glute size, but as far as all the other stuff, how do i stop hating myself for being ugly?
marriage and stuff
how do you have a wedding when you don't have friends?
also did any of you get married?
>4chan makes me hate women
>cc makes me hate men
>just stay home 24/7 unnerved about people
Is this the ultimate outcome of imageboarding?
Feeling bitter about good news of others
I'm at a really shit place in my life where nothing is really going my way, it has been this way since the pandemic. All of the people I talk to are getting jobs, getting accepted to places, their hobbies are booming, moving in with their boyfriends etc. I cannot handle their good news anymore, I feel bitter and build up resentment towards them. It's not like I don't want them to succeed, I just can't handle any more good news from others (the lives that I wish I could have a sliver of) when my life is so shit. I desperately want to be happy for them but every time I have to congrantulate someone on something I rip my hair out. Does anyone else feel like a bitter bitch even though thats not their usual personality?
there’s this girl i have mutual friends with and for some reason she’s just rude shit to me all the fucking time for literally no reason, i’m really nice to her and i honestly don’t even interact with her much so i’m not sure why??? it’s driving me crazy and the fact that i’m on my period rn doesn’t help either, i’m taking serious hits to my ego rn
i usually wouldn’t care about stuff like this at all but i’m having pretty extreme mood swings rn and i honestly don’t know what to do or how to cope, i don’t even know why she doesn’t like me in the first place (we only have 1 mutual friend that i regularly talk with so it isnt because of some beef or whatever)???? she has been rude to me since she met me and i really genuinely have no idea why
Every time I imagine myself in the near future I don't see myself as anything coherent. My plans are to get a job and to improve the skills I'm interested in, but that's about that. I don't imagine myself raising kids or marrying anyone.
There's a lot of stuff to do besides the most common stuff like family and career. I'm too autistic for either of those things.
But what happens when I've exceeded in things I pursued? books, music, crafts, art, etc., both making and consuming. Is there anything to look forward to?
god when I get PMS sometimes I suffer the most agonizing self-loathing. and I KNOW when it is happening, too, and it doesn't even matter. the urge to self-harm (typically banging my head against things or biting my knuckles until they bruise/bleed) gets so fucking unbearable it's all I can do to just sit and keep myself from doing it. I can't get any work done for a fucking week, and I seem like an absolute lunatic to my husband who has to suffer through it too by proxy. He always listens to me but he always wants to try and solve the problems when I physically and psychologically cannot fix them with just making adjustments to my actions. It's this absolutely unfounded self-hatred that comes along every 3 or 4 months that puts me into an absolute state until my period is over and done with.
I always hear about women getting grouchy/irritable during PMS but I have never met another woman who just gets demented levels of depressed like I do. It's like, any mistake I make or if I perceive I have caused any trouble for someone else, I fly into a violent shame spiral and need to hurt myself to atone for it. Not looking for medical advice (try going to the goddamn doctor and explain this to them, at best they'll prescribe you birth control for the thousandth time, at worse they'll have you committed) just wondering if I am alone out there, and also needing to rant about it.
Jealous Boy
I have a boyfriend who is a little insecure and gets jealous over silly things. He's a nice guy actually, but I'm a little worried about his jealousy.
Well, I've been talking to an old friend who I kinda liked years ago. And he's been more upset than ever. We've only been talking as friends, but it still makes me feel bad. I'm really scared of losing my boyfriend, but I also don't want him to feel like I own him. Is the jealousy he feels for my friend justified? Is it okay for me to talk to this guy if I was a little attracted to him in the past?
Romantic friendship
How would you feel about a female friend expressing some level of homolust towards you? Is any level acceptable?
I am quick to get infatuated with friends. It isn't sexual and I don't want to escalate but the feelings are definitely romantic in nature. I just want to flirt and hold hands and face no consequences.
I don't get infatuated with the occasional male friend since I need to be wary of them trying to fuck me and moid friendship isn't very intimate or interesting anyway.
Fat bitch hours, tips 2 lose weight
Tired of being over 200lbs. Anyone have any ACTUAL good advice for starving? I hate being light headed all the time, it makes it hard to drive n shit. Also any advice for stomach pain would be mint. Also no body positivity bs, I’m here for it for other people just not me thnx.
uggo feels
>be 22 year old khv
>finally find a bf
>he is super cute meanwhile you look like a rat
Anyone else has this problem? I know guys cheat on girls quite often, and I'm afraid of my bf getting bored of me/cheating on me because of the difference in our attractiveness. I'm unfortunately completely ugly (tall wide face etc.), meanwhile he is a pretty boy. How do I improve? I feel so happy and blessed when we are together, but it hurts to be compared to him and constantly feeling insecure. Has anyone here managed to maintain a relationship despite big gap in attractiveness?
pain
>be me, 19 femoid
>dating a 20 year old dude from the next province over, let's call him J
>both me and bf are friends with this 28 year old from across the country let's call him P
>we both love this guy and see him as a crazy older brother type friend
>me and P have recently gotten quite close, but we've been friends for a while before that
>J and P have met up before and they love hanging out together
>it's just me and P who haven't met up yet
>fast forward to last night
>have a horrific nightmare of P assaulting me and myself getting pregnant from it
>in the nightmare P then stops talking to me for fear J might find out
>wake up crying in a cold sweat
Why would I even have this dream? What does this mean? I love P like a brother and he would never do something like this in real life at all. Why did my subconscious do this to me?
what do with moid dad
gals, I accidentally ranted to my leftist pro tranny father about my frustrations with transcult, and he told me that I'm just full of hate and was clearly disappointed. I fear that I might have damaged my relationship with him…I'm a lesbian, so he started saying homophobic shit and said that it's the same as my arguments against delusional moids cutting their dicks off…he just wouldn't listen to me, and I really fear that he might view me differently now. what do I do?
why are moids so heartless
Got cheated on by the only guy I ever dated, I have told him before how I feared cheaters and if he ever felt out of love, just resolve it thru communication or break up, told him about my abandonment issues and how I was abused/neglected as a kid which made me already have low self esteem. Still the mf did it. How can someone be so heartless? I gave him all my love, respect and was nothing but loyal even tho he was below my looksmatch and had problems of his own. He even cheated on me with this airheaded, frivolous, feminine girl who probably doesn't even love him. I just loathe moids right now.
How to deal with feeling trapped?
I feel like I'm trapped with men in my life, making my life considerably less happy and more cumbersome. It feels like I have no control over my life. I just want to be free, but it feels like it'll never happen. Does anyone have experience feeling this way, and how did you/do you deal with it?
Is true deep love possible?
feels like every relationship ends, people can't truly connect, post your good love stories or share your bad relationships that ended sourly
Can't sleep because of nightmares
Like I am a pretty happy person and I am more-or-less in an okay place, but I have constant nightmares, almost every day. Every day I wake up shaken and sometimes I just wake up in the middle of the night and just sit there for an hour (while crying). The nightmares themselves are also completely random but also insanely horrific (I have to cut off a kid's fingers and tongue with a knife for some reason; get lost with a kindegarten class in a nightmarish world where the kids start to vanish one by one without ever starying from the group, etc). I have no insomnia or anything and I just don't know why it happens to me, I hate it so much
What's it like being an attractive girl? I feel life would be completely different for me if i was at least a 4/10
so there is this dude I met through 4chan… kinda.
I joined a 4chan server in 2019, wasn't super active, people were talking about the Bianca murder the hour it happened since it was everywhere and I was confused and this cat pfp person that I assumed was a lady from the pfp and speaking manners DMed and told me all the details and shared links to the threads, I talk about how men suck and s(he) agrees, we talk about how sex work, kink and all these things are promoted by liberal feminism that are dangerous we keep talking and I later discover that it's a guy who is younger than me [ 17 years old ] but we quickly become friends.
We get closer and closer and we wind up exchanging nudes a few shameful times, he even asks for cam sex but I refuse, we get over it but it was obvious that we both liked each other sexually at least, he even grew his hair out for me and changed a few other things I talked about.
Gets more troubling as I start feeling guilty even though he's no much younger than me but also because I had a boyfriend at the time I'd vent to him about.
It becomes obvious that we're too different, he's an immature 4chan user with yellow fever and a misogynist.
I block him.
I keep thinking about him.
six months later I add him back and he accepts me, welcoming me back, he didn't care and was just happy that I added him back, same cycle minus the yellow fever.
rinse and repeat 4-5 times.
it's 2021, he knows me more than most and I know a lot about him too, we get close, I feel that he genuinely changed from that misogynist Asian fetishist I met two years ago, maybe we can be good friends.
he talks about how it's normal for women in Afghanistan to wear the burka because ""it's their culture"" and they're accustomed to it like how people are used to the sky being blue… I'm upset for a week. I try to cool down so I send him a meme with a Japanese woman and he starts talking about how he will go for a Japanese [virgin]] woman because they've ""evolved to have tight vaginas"", and keeps trying to make it sound logical, I was really angry not only because he went back to point zero but also because I felt slight jealousy, I thought that he was changing and becoming a better person, I really thought we can be friends, I really thought he was willing to change for me as he did before and how he promised.
I feel mad about it, mostly mad at myself for falling for this, I feel like pure shit and it's too embarrassing to talk to anyone about it.
I also miss him a bit despite hating him and him being a gross ugly manlet creep, I keep on thinking about him when I encounter things that we talked about before.
I hate myself.
Feeling disconnected from people
Everyone just pretends to know me and i cant even prove myself to be intellectually above others due to adhd and my thoughts just being weird, not genius, just creative and anxiety inducing. Im tired of this. All i want is to raise my social status through hard work. All i want is to be an epic sigma lolz i have the fucking mindset but i just cant do it because adhd and people dont understand especially since im a woman they think im just a typical dumbass woman who doesnt want anything more from life and is depressed and anxious because of silly little mundane matters im gonna fucking k*ll m
Is it normal to want a relationship, want to have intimacy with someone, have an interest in romance, and then when a real guy takes an interest in you, go completely numb? Why does this happen?
I don't know how to feel about the fact that most men growing up now consume porn to some degree.
I fucking hate that on many imageboards there is promotion of pedophilia
I go to 4chan, there is pedophilia, I go to 16chan, there is pedophilia, I go to other imageboards, there is pedophilia. I mean, it's clearnet and they should have some rules instead of that shit.
How to be less clumsy
I started a new job where I have to be pretty quiet and it's making me realize how often I bump into things and drop stuff. It's pretty bad. I'm trying to be more spatially aware of where my body is but it's not working very well.
Any other clumsy anons?
dad is dying
My dad got diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. We only found out he had any kind of cancer just two weeks ago. What am i supposed to do? I feel so lost. Sorry for retarded image
bf gets sad because of my ed
Everytime i mention my eating disorder or tell my boyfriend i feel bad he gets really sad. He feels he's not good enough for me because he can't help me and many times he cried because of it. Now I messaged him telling him how upset I am because I can't eat fish fingers made by my mom and I didn't know he's gaming with his friends. I ruined his 'boys night'. I tried not talking with him about these topics but I just can't. He always tells me to talk about my struggles but then he gets so sad. I just want to talk with somebody about my problems. He's the only pearson in my life that I can talk with about everything.
Please excuse my typos or grammar mistakes.
>makes jokes about gangstalking and pure paranoia
>starts believing that i'm being gangstalked
>mfw i get in this sorta shit
hikikomori
do any true hikikomori browse this imageboard?
>I'm a shut-in because of covid-19
I'm asking for the people who were (pre-covid) and still currently are a shut-in, what's your life like? How are you today?
Please, if you go to work or school/university but call yourself a hikikomori this thread does not apply to you. You can ask questions but don't try to play it off as the same thing.
Preferably looking for people who stay in weeks at a time, 3 week average or higher would be highly relatable. pic unrelatedo
Cheated on
I have been married to my husband for 8 years and we have two kids. I just found out my husband got a blow job from our also married neighbor over the summer. I feel like shit and don’t know what to do. Has anyone been cheated on and gone on to have a healthy relationship?
I am socially retarded.
Am I fucked?
>dating very cute man who is respectful, kind, buys me stuff, basically worships me like a goddess
>find out last January that he has been jerking off to our past classmates instagram photos
>After I find out he has said he feels very shitty about it, that he regrets ever doing it, etc etc
>in return he has been even more supportive, emotionally and in every other way possible to make up for it i guess
he is literally perfect aside from that one thing and i still dont know what to do. Some really nasty inner thoughts came from this, like every man I'm with is always going to be thinking about another woman. It still scares me to this day. Am I fucked for life if i choose to stay with him?
I have everything I've ever wanted, I don't understand why I'm so broken. I married my high school sweetheart, he makes almost a quarter million dollars a year. We have 3 children that I homeschool. It's literally everything I ever wanted, but I'm miserable. Crushing anxiety and OCD steals every positive feeling I ever have.
>"Oh aren't you kids so sweet? What if they got cancer and died."
>"What if your husband left you because you've ruined his life by being fat and miserable and he makes you homeless?"
I have no friends or hobbies and honestly I don't even want them. My family doesn't even want to talk to me because all I do is spew negativity at them. I don't even want to get out of bed most days. Why can't I just be happy?
My therapist(in training) is the only person outside of my family I speak to every week, recently I told her I would be sad when I can no longer see her anymore (my autistic shy phrasing of it) and she said “Awwww, I’ll miss you too” and started crying, I feel like I’m gonna spiral when she ends it (or whenever her professor tells her to end it with me)
>This whole board
>my dad is pretty aloof and doesn’t seem to really give a shit about me.
>it hurts my feelings a ton idk I think that’s pretty normal but maybe I’m just a huge immature baby.
>that’s why my bf thinks at least, because when I started crying he told me to grow up and get over it.
>which also turned into him telling me what a piece of shit I was. How he takes care of me but I care more about my family and just tons of other mean horrible things, cause why the heck not. It just turned into a pitty party for himself.
>idk ladies I kinda just wanna kill myself. I probably would if I didn’t have my dogs
Digital Footprint
Does anyone else get anxious over thinking about how much of 'you' is out here? Like how much you've put out into cyberspace?
I've been using the internet from a very young age. I've certainly made my mark, but I wish I could keep it all 'under control' and know exactly what it is I have out there. I have a lot of old cringy posts out there someone that I posted under a username I still use to this day. On YouTube I also have a video of me doing some stupid shit, waiting to be recommended and turned into the next meme or some shit. I wish we could just delete all traces of ourselves.
I've been feeling extra anxious now that lots of girls are using sites like 'Onlyfans' and exposing themselves all over the internet. I mean… that shit can't be erased. You're gonna just post yourself doing fetish/porn stuff like that? For all to see? With no way to get rid of it? My ultimate fear is someone gathering all my posts and info to embarrass me.
Do you guys seriously fall in love all the time or is there something wrong with me? I'm 23, almost 24 and never fallen in love. I always had to make up I was in love with X when classmates asked at school because everyone had a crush on someone. I'm still waiting for it, for the day I don't just find someone physically attractive but also not annoying and retarded. I have read that it's completely normal to not fall in love until later in life but at this point I think I'm gonna stay like this forever. It's actually fucking painful, I crave a romantic relationship with people I make up in my mind but when I think of anyone real I just can't.
>inb4 gay
I already know I'm gay, I probably hate women more than men because I don't have anything in common with them.
>inb4 rape
I was never raped/traumatized in some way that could have scared me away from romantic contact and human relationships in general. While growing up no one in my family was in a romantic relationship so there weren't any romantic displays of affection around, so that could be it but it sounds too retarded.
Anyone else has gone through this?
asexuals in denial club
Anyone else an asexual in denial?
>have never felt sexual attraction to anyone or anything (don't even know what it would feel like)
>SO confused by what people mean when they say they fucked someone because they couldnt control themselves
>never get aroused
>have never had pleasurable sex
Now this wouldn't be a problem, but I still desire a relationship. Therefore it causes me constant despair because I have a boyfriend that I will never desire sexually. If i had one wish a functional fucking sex drive would be it, fuck world peace or money.
How to live for myself?
I feel like everything I do is for male approval. I structure my entire life around men and any interests or hobbies I partake in is a manufactured attempt to get potential male attention. I am unwilling to do anything unless men will perceive it. If I eat alone, or entertain myself alone, I feel like I'm wasting myself. I feel like a scarce resource instead of a human being.
Somewhere in adolescence I forgot how to enjoy things for my own sake, to do things because I want to, like I did as a kid. Does anyone one else feel this way? I just want to reset myself, become a person again. To live independently of men and do what I want, without worrying about whether it makes me attractive or not. But my brain just screams at me if I'm not constantly making myself available and attractive to men. Please advise
Cheating
Has anyone ever cheated on you? My ex did, and now I have severe trust issues.
People basically ignore me all the time
What the title is. I have always been ignored. When I was a kid this wasn't so bad.
I was an only child and fairly solitary in general, happy to keep my own company. As an adult I have a miniscule social circle, interacting mostly with my fiance, mother, and coworkers. I had friends at one point but they have all disappeared, swallowed up by distance or their children.I have tried starting MeetUps to engage with people, but my group got derailed by a Troon and I lost members and those neonate friendships.
I was at a company function on Friday and I was sitting alone. It ocurrred to me that no one gave a shit that I was there, and so I just walked out early and took 1/2 the day off. Today is Monday and no one has mentioned it. No one noticed it. I could have walked up to talk to someone but at this point I'm so tired trying to generate conversation/relationships with people.
All my life I have been the one reaching out and no one has ever made the attempt to reach back. I am worried that I am starting to get used to being alone/friendless/unnoticed, because it scares me. When I am 30/35/40 and beyond, am I still going to be a friendless faggot? Will I even care?
~MY BOYFRIEEEEND~
How much boyfriend talk do you tolerate from other girls? Is it worse to hear about a good relationship or a bad one?
Trying to find a friend: L
Dear L, whose email started with ghosts(…),
I hope that someday you manage to see this thread, even if by chance, long after I post this. CC is small, but I have a feeling you'd love being here, so I hope you find it. I talked about you in the missed connections thread, but I think the chances of you seeing this here would be bigger. And I'm pretty sure you will someday.
It's been two years or so since we last talked. I don't even remember why I disappeared; if it was you or if it was me, but my closest friend wasn't comfortable with you because you know why, so back then I thought it was the right thing. I just wish I had managed to make things work in a different way. I really do. I apologize even for my excuses, they're not very good, are they?
Sorry it took me so long to try to contact you. When I emailed you last week and saw your account didn't exist anymore, I felt very sad. Now that I know you nuked your email I have no way to talk to you, and that leaves me broken hearted.
The last news I heard about you is that you got a divorce. If that's true, I am really sorry, but I hope good things come out of it.
Rereading our emails together is funny because we were so similar in many ways… And at the same time I was such an oversharer with you; you made me feel so comfortable.
I just hope you are happy, truly. Yesterday I remembered the song you sent me on my birthday and that made me laugh.
Wish you could understand my feelings, L. I wish we could have been closer friends. I hope your illness hasn't taken you away.
If you ever find this, even if you're not sure of who I am, please respond.
Wishing you all the best.
-M
–
Admin said it was ok to make threads directed to people we lost contact with. I'm sorry if anyone gets upset about this, but I really have no idea what to do.
Post-stupid-drunken-night
How do I get over my ego and wanting to be the center of attention?
Anyone else bisexual, but only wants to be with women? Never been with either, have had a few male orbiters but shut them down without outing myself. It's not for political reasons or anything, I'm just way more attracted to women (and video game men for that matter), in fact I used to think I only liked women until I was like 16-17 years old. Not to mention that I don't want to have to bother with birth control.
How do I keep the parts of me I love alive when they’re deprived of attention from the good friends I once had?
I’m super isolated. You can say just get more friends but finding ones that stimulate this very very unique part of me that I love most is challenging.
How do you feel when you look at an attractive man?
I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me because it's hard for me to determine if a man is attractive or not. I feel like I'm ticking off a checklist.
When I spend a long time with a man I'll get used to his appearance and start liking his face but that's probably not attraction since that exact same thing happens when I befriend ugly women.
Debating getting new job
I like to buy things like food and stuff and where I live keeps going into lockdown. I have the issue of not getting paid during these lockdown times. I have been trying to work but as I am trapped inside of my house I cannot.
I have started to realistically consider if I love my job enough to risk the lack of money. Do you think I should look for a job or try to hold out on the lockdown ending (no idea when this will be). Please help. I need to buy monster and noodles.
I'm hungry and nervous. I got paid $0.00 for working 0 hours this week and I didnt even see a cent of it.
I don't like being gay. I don't like other lesbians. I don't like when people tell me they wish they were a lesbian. I don't like my sexual thoughts towards women either.
What are your thoughts on a relationship where you're 100% emotionally and mentally attracted to and compatible with someone, but your physical attraction to them is middling?
If you had screenshots and proof that someone who groomed you as a 13 year old was planning to rape and groom other underage girls, what would you do?
How do I become more unhinged?
I’m sick of being uptight.
I want to be more reactive and instinctual
I want to exude energy
I want my inner self to connect with my outter self
does anyone else experince this?
since I've been little I've been told by the few older people that met me that I had so much potential, that I was special…
This repeated all throughout my life but especially in the last 2-3 years, I'm 20 and I've been told this by a handful of close online friends and even by my therapist "you'll achieve great things one day", i never had any great goals and I never accomplished anything or talked about it so I'm wondering if it's just something they tell anyone to cheer them up.
I haven't achieved anything in my life and if I don't achieve anything by the age of 25 I'll be upset.
dancing
How do you all dance and how can one start? I'm adult and have never.
Getting upset over minimal shit
I had a fight with my boyfriend again and now I'm literally after crying over dumbass shit. A fucking video game too. We were playing Among Us with a few school friends and he managed to get Impostor like 4 times in a row. Each time he would literally be like "ANON IS THE IMPOSTOR I SAW HER VENT/KILL" literally 5 seconds into every round. He got away with it every time calling me fucking "sus" and shit. I literally left the game crying because he wouldnt stop it. He came into my room as he was on his laptop in the kitchen about to give me a hug or some shit and then he fucking batista bombed me while singing the "DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN, DU DU DUN" song and screaming "STOP BEING SO SUS" saying my head is the shape of the fucking red astronaut
How do I not get angry over video games?
>be a weird introvert child with no need for friends
>start to feel lonely and need for friends when entering the puberty
>fail to make real friends at school
>desperately don't know where to find people to talk about things I am interested in
>start to listen to metal
>become mega ultra brutal heavy metal 16 y.o. girl
>telling everybody metal is the only proper musical style
>"metal is the best, metal is my life, it is definitely NOT only a phase"
>literaly METAL METAL METAL
>gaining instagram followers thanks to gothic and metal photos
>suddenly a lot of 20+ y.o. guys want to be friends
>not only friends :)
>getting only few years older, finding different people elsewhere
>almost not listening metal, listening to jazz and almsot everything else than it
>everybody still thinks I am brutal and not able to listen normal music
>looking back realising how cringe I had been but never telling anybody
>a new bf telling me "I think you did it just because you needed friends"
> xO
I just needed to tell it. I feel too shame to admit it in real life.
Does anybody else feel that it's degrading as a woman to be attracted to men?
I've spent a lot of time on male-dominated forums like 4chan so I know how the male populace as a majority views women. We're pieces of meat to them or less than dirt.
But at the same time I can't help being attracted to males. I have no interest in women romantically whatsoever, and of course not sexually either. Oftentimes I catch myself fantasizing about having a partner, but I then feel as if that would be giving a more-than-likely disgusting male "what he wants" so to speak so I refrain from seeking one out.
Is this something that can be gotten over without a severe amount of copium? Or should I unironically just become a celibate?
Can you change your personality as an adult?
Is it possible to significantly change your personality once you reach adulthood? If no, by what age do you think somebody's personality, habits, etc. are permanently crystallized?
I just learned that a friend of mine (he's a real sweetheart but socially awkward and he's not that handsome cause he doesn't care himself) went and fucked 2 prostitutes when he was on a trip with his friends. The friends pressured him a lot cause he was a virgin and even paid for the prostitutes and I feel so awful that he had to lose his virginity that way and kinda disgusted by him cause I was thinking that he was treasuring it or smth and that he was a really pure dude. The friend that told me this was supporting that action cause he "needed" this shit. I really wasn't such a man-hater but I'm starting to get really disgusted by them slowly as I age. What the fuck
Do you ever spend a lot of time on female-dominated imageboards and when you return to tumblr, twitter or other normie sites you realize that nobody, including members of your own sex, shares your views and literally everyone is a tranny supporting, porn and onlyfans loving, overly sensitive complete retard and you'll always be alone with your worldview
How do I deal with a guilty conscience and a ruined life?
My boyfriend and i were talking about the appeal of make up, so like what's the best colors and the best style. Talking about lipsticks i said that i don't really like using it because it fades away and it can stain skin so it's kinda tricky to kiss someone or take it off properly; at that he said "it doesn't stain skin! or else i would be already stained for life!" alluding to the girls he has been before me.
I feel betrayed because normally he says that he doesn't want to talk about it because i'll be sad, so why the fuck did he have to bring that up…
i confronted him about it and he promptly apologized and admitted his errors, but i still feel betrayed and disappointed…should i just forgive him and i'm just being overly dramatic or i'm in the right?
Do any of you also struggle with OCD?
I can't stand people who think calling themselves a "perfectionist" would be a good thing.
I can't endure this "I do it perfectly or I just won't do it" mentality. I've reached the point where I'm like: hmmm, my mousepad is a little bit tilted, let me fix this before sleeping. I probably had at least 10 accounts in every social media and hundreds of e-mails. How can I stop?
Vent thread
Previous thread >>58197
my good male friend likes me
i have this good male friend of me, he too is very autistic and we regularly do seshy uni things together i.e. getting blackout drunk and doing horse tranquiliser
we have a good rapport and it's worth mentioning that even though hes straight he's always made out with/seduced any guys ive had any interest in (said guys were bi not gay making it slightly insulting but hey lmao)
a couple nights ago we shagged and it was actually pretty good, i'm on anti depressants and hes like suicidal so neither of us came tho, he was trembling the whole time and his wee insulin/diabetic tamagotchi wire was swinging about
recently a mutual friend has informed me that he wants to take me on a date next month and i'm worried since both of us but mostly him are suicidal and he's od'd a bunch of times plus i'm 22 and he's 19 so there's a gap in experience also we're both in an established friend group and i dont want to fuck any of that up
at the same time im very horny for him atm and our chemistry is really good but the possibility of eventually having kids and those kids inheriting our autism makes me really worried since i was bullied in my youth a lot for it please help me CC
money related troubles
ITT: Money Misery, Regretful Purchases, Gambling Addiction etc etc
Not a serious problem to have, but how do I stop thinking about money and worry about spending? I've had an anxiety for some odd reason about buying things I am hesitant about, even if theyre only 5 bucks or whatever.
I get nothing from relationships.
Honestly I can feel my soul being sucked out of my body just being near 99% of men. It used to be worse actually though. I used to have horrid depression from the way this made me feel. Now I have great ways to cope with it. But I'm not sure what to do next…
Heteronormativity makes my energy feel like its being sucked out of my body. It deeply reviles me.
Why is this?? What do I do about it? I've been to tons of therapy, but it didn't help much. I am 35!!! I work in hospitality. I love fantasy to death but serving the public is so draining.
Ever since I got stalked my mind kinda snapped and never went back to normal. It isn't the cause, but it really magnified it. I really don't trust people like I used to but I don't see the solution because I don't want to be join society. Its not like I can switch it off. Does anyone experience anything remotely similar? Where you were triggered in a way that made "never want to go back?"
How do I get my mom to stop buying me things?
Before you call me a brat, let me explain.
My mom is almost a hoarder. I say almost because she definitely has a spending/collecting problem but will sometimes give items away after awhile. She also likes to give gifts, just for the sake of buying said gifts. She's also in a lot of debt, so I don't understand why she bothers with it all.
I have ADHD (diagnosed) and one of the best ways for me to handle it is minimalism. Otherwise I just cannot keep up with my belongings and my room ends up looking like a pig pen and I can never find anything. You may think I'm disgusting, but people who understand ADHD will understand that we just can't wrap our heads around organization.
My birthday is this month and I KNOW my mother is going to get me $150 worth of cheap garbage from Amazon. Little knick knacks, things I can never make use of, clutter, and things that will break within the year. Most of the time she doesn't really go gift shopping, she just hoards a bunch of stuff, never takes it out of the packaging, then decides to give it to me when my birthday or christmas rolls around.
I'm very tired of it. It stresses me out a lot and she doesn't get it because she has no troubles with organization.
Are any of y'all's parents pseudo-hoarders? Do they try to push it on you? What do you do about it?
ADVICE NEEDED- I'm afraid to use lesbian dating apps
I'm a single lesbian. It's coming to the end of quarantine in my country, and I want to start dating women in my area. Social isolation has given me plenty of time to self reflect and realise that I do have the courage to meet new people and start dating (anxiety).
Here's the problem. I'm afraid of being assaulted/catfished by transbians. I'm too socially anxious to deal with a situation where I go to bed with someone and they surprise me by pulling a penis out. I'm also very afraid that trying to turn someone down in this situation is going to get me hurt. This happens quite a bit. I even recently read a story on Reddit by a woman who went to hook up with a "woman" and ended up being beaten up and raped.
I'm afraid of that happening to me. Weapons are not legal in my country and I hate that I have to say that because I shouldn't need to think about bringing a weapon on a date.
What do I do?
Miners with strong platonic male friendships, how do you do it?
I haven’t been socialized in early childhood on how to be “just friends” with a dude, and when I did have friends, they were all women. Now I’m faced with the challenge of befriending a moid I’ve come to care about platonically, but am worried I will eventually be ghosted when he realizes there is nothing romantic to provide.
So far I’ve figured out you can’t be as emotional with them as with female friends, as their emotionally unstimulated brains explode with romantic urgency and they mistake you caring as you having feelings for them.
What else should I do? For women who have PURELY platonic male friendships, how do you have to act behaviorally in order for platonic friendship and only platonic friendship to form?
Impostor syndrome
Do you have it?
What do you think may be the cause?
How do you cope with having impostorism?
Personally, I hate it since I'm pretty much in a vicious cycle of self-loathing.
>i'm retarded because i'm not X enough
>can't improve myself in X because it's useless/i'm useless and don't deserve it/i'll never be good enough (if i actually do something)
>i'm retarded because i don't do shit/don't do enough shit
and so on
I done fucked up
So, I've been in community college for over a year now (two semesters). It's been entirely online, and online school is kicking my ass. Every semester goes the same: I promise myself that I won't fall behind and yet I still do. I did horribly in two semesters straight with no real explanation for it. My GPA isn't just bad, it's laughably bad.
And that isn't the worst part. My mom is fully expecting my to transfer to a full year and I just flat out don't have the ability to do that. I massively fucked up the situation by not only lying to her, but panicking when she asked for a transcript and giving her a fake one.
I'd like to try starting a career as an artist after getting an AA, but I'm really starting to feel like it's just a pipe dream. I feel like I end up failing at everything.
My mom is going to meet me in person next week and I'm planning on telling her the truth then. How do I handle the situation, miners?
What is it like without depression?
Without trying to come across like some young teen posting after an emotional episode, I've been thinking a lot about other people and how they can carry themselves like that. With college, I struggle greatly to pay attention and sit at a desk while completing my work. I then see my parents who are almost like robots and able to wake up every day for their jobs. I don't understand how some people aren't just miserable with it all every day. I hate the every day battle and the constant social media "Mental Health Awareness" shit everyone posts. How is this worth it if everyone is going to embrace the misery like this.
literally me
I e-cheated on my first and only boyfriend of many years.
I thought I was missing out for never dating around, and thought I was making a huge mistake by staying with him. I wanted to see what if I was justified by talking to other men online.
I regret it so much. I feel like I defiled this relationship and I get nauseous thinking about it. I haven't gotten decent sleep in days.
Does this feeling ever go away? Does time heal it? Do I need to go to therapy and take meds? Seriously I feel so disgusting and anxious I could die.
Has anyone here successfully managed to lose a large amount of weight? Did you have much loose skin?
>Don't feel jealous of people's lives you see on social media! That isn't real! They have problems too!
Bitch I can see enough from those photos to know they have a better life than me. Unless you're telling me those pictures are photoshopped they have things I don't have and can never have. At least they have those things to comfort them. And it's not like I'm without hidden baggage either.
getting jealous over my boyfriend hanging out with friends?
I’m probably crazy but whenever my boyfriend hangs out with a group of friends without me, I just feel overly jealous. Usually it also involves girls I’ve never met (but have heard of, so I know he’s not interested in them, but it still hurts my feelings). Also, usually he hangs out with friends that also used to be my friends, but now I never see since I started dating him.
Basically, since I’ve started dating him, I’ve had no social life outside of our relationship. Any friends that I had mutually between me and him basically never try to talk to me anymore since we started dating for some reason but continue to hang out with him.
I still feel irrational for getting jealous of him simply hanging out with people and having a social life and idk what to do about that. I’m drinking a lot (which is why this probably makes no sense) and going to get shitfaced with my dad tonight to cope with this cause idk how else to do so.
Can someone try to tell me if there’s a valid reason I’m getting upset or if I’m simply being crazy and need to stop.
The Unrequited Love Thread
Is it your best friend, your colleague, or a forbidden dalliance of the classes? Do you have a passing crush, or a lost love?
Some questions
>what made you fall for them?
>what keeps you apart?
>are you sure its unrequited?
>are you still friends? or do you think you can remain friends?
>how often do you think of them, if ever?
>what is the ideal outcome?
>what is a realistic outcome?
In a few months I turn 20. Yet while most of my peers are being productive and have part time jobs I haven't even been successful in finding one. Is it worth getting down over the fact I've not gained experience while everyone else was or is this not a productive thing to worry over.
another demisexual girl around here?
I am going through a couple breakup and I cannot masturbate if it is not thinking of him in a romantic way. I need to change this
Wolf in sheepskin clothing
I have a friend (let's call them D) who is generally very sweet and very funny. However, D is also a self loathing narcissist who manipulates people into falling in love with them to validate that they're attractive. D specifically target people with disorders like BPD (BPD almost specifically) because D is aware the people their hunting will fall wildly in love with them and stroke their ego. D always complains to me about these people wanting to get serious but D refuses to learn or grow as a person.
The sad thing is that D has the potential to be a great person, and they know they can be a great person, but D just won't make good person decisions.
Something that's bothering me lately is an obsession with a particular person (who we will call A). A was in a relationship with Ds best friend. D and A had an affair, totally destroyed the relationship, and now they're still all friendly with eachother but D is mildly obsessed with A. I'm afraid my friend is going to try and lure A into an affair again. A has a relationshop but A is already hanging around with D late at night without As partner.
D has told me before that sometimes when they make decisions that ask themselves if I would be proud of them. Whenever they're ashamed, they tell me. I'm wondering if D and A are already shagging again but D is too ashamed to tell me
coping strategies for breakups
hi everyone, so nearly six months ago my ex-boyfriend of two years and i broke up. he was a god complexed, manipulative narcissist.. the break up was really fucking messy. but throughout the relationship i was so terrified he'd leave me for his ex he had dated about a year or so prior to us. and about two weeks after we broke up, they got together and have been happy since. makes me want to unalive myself lol. i've cooled off internet stalking them both.. but i'm left thinking about him every waking moment, either dwelling on the fact that he did exactly what i was most afraid of after years of insisting he'd never.. or thinking of ways i could get him back, or if he wants me back. or if he ever really loved me, if i was just a rebound for two years since he's essentially thrown away any sentimental feelings he had for me and replaced them with adoration for his ex. did i ever mean anything to him?! how could he just push me to the side so hard. i want him out of my head.. i have a job but he occupies my thoughts even when im there. i probably have bpd or some shit, but i cant stop obsessing over this shit bag. i know time heals but it's been 6 MONTHS!!! help
I have only hugged one person who wasn't my mom
Looking for an old friend
Hello, I'm looking for an old friend that I met on discord. I just want to know if she's doing well and all, and I know she's a lurker so I thought I'd give it a go. Her name begins with K.
I got fucking arrested
I am not happy about it at all. I just got out of "jail" 40 minutes ago and I am still shook.
My mom, who lives more than an hour away, had to drive and pick me up as the police chief, or whoever the fuck this fat goober was, told me that "only family or a lawyer can come for you". (I have absolutely no idea if that's even legally true but he didn't seem to care) I sat in the police station for 9 hours, handcuffed to a bench behind fencing in the assclown's office while he questioned me, from the other side of the gate. He said he was "doing me a favour instead of putting me in the actual cells". I was allowed out ONCE to drink a water bottle. I cried pretty much the entire time. This happened because my friend's neighbours (she lives in a duplex) were messing with my motorcycle helmet, and when I asked them to stop and took my helmet back, one of them called me a bitch and kicked my bike over. I reacted… animalistically. Turned out the pricks were 14, and after hearing from one of their moms how if this happened before her accident "I'd be dead on the side of the road" They arrived while I was on my bike just making sure everything worked and none of the leaks were that bad.
When they arrested me, the "partner" got just a little gropey with me, but the "senior" was a sneering grumpy black woman who I figured wasn't interested in listening. and the worst part is one of the charges is "attempting to flee" I might never get my motorcycle, which belonged to my dad, back.
Anybody here have any experience getting arrested and dealing with police? what do I have to look forward to from here? Is the fact that the judge is a woman going to help me any?
How do you decide when to help people and when not to help them?
I have had a problem in the past with being a yes person and being resentful over helping people when I didn’t want to.
Recently faces with this situation:
>sister in law, mid 20s has a baby with bf, we are friendly and I’ve always liked her but we hang out with different people
>doesn’t have a drivers license, constantly missing ID, driving anyway w/o license
>can’t buy a new car without license, the car that she has was given to her and it’s a 25 y/o POS that’s been in the shop for weeks
>she works at a local fast food joint and can’t ever get her kid to her moms to be babysit to get to work without a car
…
But if she had a license she would be able to buy a new car and not have to deal with this. Instead, she asks me and everyone else for rides. BUT if she doesn’t get a ride she’ll just deal with it. Tonight she was just going to go walk her baby home in the stroller across town at 11 pm if I didn’t drive her.
I don’t want her doing that but at what point will she get her shit together? I am not responsible for her, but her baby doesn’t deserve to suffer.
In addition to not having a license or ID her baby doesn’t have a SS# and she can’t get any covid bucks for him and insists “the SSI office is closed”.
no normal human is attractive anymore
The constant push of more and more extreme beauty standards is turning a good 95% of humans into uggos. If you don't have the time, wealth and skills to modify your appearance and essentially perform sophisticated body modification on yourself, you have 0 chance of being seen as attractive or desirable by the average member of society who has been conditioned to only view those as attractive who tick very specific, and gradually harder to reach, boxes, therefor exponentially increasing your chances of dying alone and unloved
And it's only getting worse
Inability to unplug
How do I practise stepping away from my devices? I literally cannot be left alone for periods, my mind is always racing and I spent most of the day in my head.
Climate Change Zone
How does it make you feel? How do you prepare? Where do you live that its effecting big time?
Most of my life I felt the way things disappeared in nature around my house acutely because I loved nature.
I fiercely hate the conservatives who push it aside as a nonissue, with a passion some days. I don't see the point in having children at all. I look at my niece and wonder what the hell she's going to do.
Most of all I have no motivation a lot of the damn time. I hate people who pretend like work is going to save them, that it means anything. Who pretend things around them aren't going on. I don't know how people can live in an illusion. I never talk about this with anyone, accept my mom and she hates it. I've become wary of talking about things that make people extremely mad IRL, though I'll discuss things online… I don't see the point in discussing it though. What can I say that I haven't already said?
People react to this topic with such rage because its jolts them back to reality. They say "you don't live in reality" because you only work fir 11$ an hour, and play games and drink and write, and get into escapism… But if anyone's not in touch with reality its enraged types who haven't accepted it at all.
face hate vent
I just got a haircut this afternoon (no drastic change) and of course took a bunch of selfies when I got home to see how it looked, send to friend, etc.
I have a really weird face and looking at the selfies started to upset me. All my features are huge – I like my big eyes and big mouth but I hate my big hook nose and big forehead. My eyelids are asymmetrical and I have really dark circles under my eyes. I'm embarrassed to think people look at me everyday. I don't think I can ever afford plastic surgery for my nose, and it feels like a waste of money anyway.
What do you hate about your face? How can I not hate my weird face?
>pic related and also lol pepperoni eyes
how do i tell my ugly friend i don't want to be friends with them anymore?
everytime we go out guys don't want to talk to us because she's not really attractive, quite the opposite.she's overweight and she doesn't wanna change, and i don't feel comfortable outside with her. any tips?
When did you discover that you were unatractive?
During our last session my therapist dropped on me that she doesn’t know how many more sessions she’ll be able to have with me because she might be reaching the max level with me, and because she’s a student working under a psychologist professor; she has no say in regards to keeping patients on for longer than allowed.
I’m such a pussy but I feel so much idk why, I haven’t cried at all during therapy but I’m crying now.
What’s fucked up is I’m starting a new chapter in my life currently and I could use my therapist the most right now, but now who knows when it’ll end.
I swear to god every time I get preposition for a threesome, the girl is alwayyyyssss so attractive but the dude looks like a goblin. Like I almost always wanna say yes so I can finally lose my lesbian V card to a hot chick. But theres no way Im gonna get with an ugly ass moid to do so.
A weird novel of a confession I want to share with you all lol
There's this guy I met 4, approaching 5 years ago on the last day of summer that I can't stop thinking about. If I had to chose a person that is on my mind the most it's him. I don't think I've though about my mom as much as I thought about him.
I don't want to give too many details, so I'll try to keep the story short. there's a park that I like going to when I feel like looking at trees and listening to music. I decided to sit on a bench and get lost in my thoughts. I haven't slept for the whole night that day so it was really easy for me to dissociate from reality. There's a small hill in front of the bench, and that guy was just hanging out alone, idk, but he was just looking at his phone. Then I noticed that he's looking at me and smiling. It didn't even freak me out. Some time later he sat down near me and bought me ice cream, we talked a bit. He said where he works so I thought yeah he wants me to go there and meet him. I never fucking did because I'm retarded and autistic.
I love everything about that day. It was my favorite weather, and I like how he looked. He was also very calm and friendly and not creepy at all. The only problem that's there is that he's very likely 10+ years older than me and when I was 15 when we met.
After that, I only saw him in october with his friend. We just passed each other, I don't know if he recognized me. I posted a lot in a group trying to find him (it's a group specifically designed so that ppl who are too shy to approach someone irl or trying to find someone who they had no chance of speaking to). Eventually I found a person who has a vaguely similar situation to mine. We had great convos about it too, I finally felt like I'm not being judged. She told me he just wanted to talk to someone and he could probably not have any romantic interest at all.
The thing is I don't really care that much about that anymore. It sure makes me upset thinking he never even liked me or he's probably dating if not married already but i wish I could just contact him and see if he remembers me. I could never admit I obsess over him to anyone. The only people who know about it irl is my best friend but I never talked about it with her after that year ended, and now I'm too embarrassed to bring it up ever again.
Sometimes I see men who look like him I try to tell if it is really him. And if I'll ever date someone I want the guy to remind me of him as much as possible.
I really want to know who he is besides what I saw that day, really. it's part curiosity and part obsession. I posted my story on a subreddit for stuff like this but got BTFO'd kinda by ppl telling me to stop obsessing over a pedophile that tried to groom me.
I constantly fantasize about being very close to him, like we're going to date soon and hiding it from my parents and classmates. If I'm doing something interesting I imagine doing it with him.
It hasn't been that bad recently because I'm more focusing on finding a job and improving some of my skills I'm passionate about. I think like 2 months ago I saw a guy on a bike that looks eerily like him, especially that smile and how he looked at me, you ever get that feeling that someone is staring at you? I felt that and due to social anxiety I couldn't bear looking at him for more than 0.5 of a second. But i wouldn't be surprised if it is him.
Anyway, if someone responds to this autistically long post I am willing to talk about it more. I'm willing to listen to any opinions although I hope this won't be as upsetting as reddit was. My discord is SunnyThursdayMorning#0638
Unclean
I've recently become aware that I'm not as good of a person as I insisted to myself that I was. Something I've always told myself is that I'm relatively innocent and that good things will come to me eventually because good people are supposed to get rewarded somehow.
I focus on my good qualities without really opening my eyes and seeing the bad qualities. I can be very selfish, cruel, lazy, and hypocritical.
I feel like I've lost my innocence over the years. I wish I felt like a good person
any lesbian considered dating ftm
you think dating suck in this day an age as lady attracted to men cackles wait till you experience the mess of the wlw dating scene. why eles do think everyone think terf=lesbian. for a long time used to be a dyke for dyke only. over time i realized i do like bi women. when i was younger and insecure about my sexualtiy i went for butch women bc it alivated my "straight girl dysphoria" ( at the time it felt like me being gay some sort of mistake like i was ment to be edgy goth girl with a crust gamer bf).
then i started haning around straight women and no longer felt like i was given the wrong sexuality. over time i have been able to meet some pretty chill cuspers (ftm who also id as lesbian) im friends with them so nothing sexual. I was wondering hey maybe i could go for chill ftm who ids as lesbian or chill with the fact im mad gay. the only htink that bothers me is potentially no boobs. im not really big letting the whole world know im lesbian but i would miss the opportunity to cal my s.o. my wife. but on the other hand we could potentially travel to other countries as and display pda if he passes. idk any other dykes feel the same way?
are you 'that' friend?
>Always feel bad about being lonely
>Don't make efforts to reach out
>Not enough productive hobbies
>Feeling like even replying to messages takes a lot of energy
>Only truly feel close to 1 friend, only 1 out of many I feel comfy with texting and asking to meet up
I fucking hate myself so much
Overbearing mother - need advice
I've been planning on going on a trip to meet someone I've known online for over 2 years. I've seen their face and have videochatted with them. I know they're a real person.
I am in my 20s, work 5 days a week, & pay my bills. Because of high rent I cannot move out and I live with my mother atm. The last time I tried purchasing plane tickets, she yelled at me for over an hour about how I was going to be a human trafficking victim, and about how me going on this trip was to "purposely hurt her" and was equivalent to my dad cheating on her. She also threatened to kick me out of the house because she didn't want someone who "hated" her to live with her. There were a lot of tears and I felt utterly hopeless.
I want to purchase plane tickets soon. I don't want to destroy my relationship with my mother but I really want to meet this person. Please tell me how and when (how far in advance) I should tell her I am taking the trip. I cannot take more verbal harassment. I don't want her speaking with him because I know she will be aggressive and interrogative. I don't know what to do. I was thinking of telling her a few days in advance and then booking a hotel room for myself to avoid the drama.
I wish someone would cuddle me
Self harm
Anyone here struggling with self harm? Wanna talk about problems you face with your self harm, like your parents' reaction to it, how strangers react to your scars, what SH did to you physically or maybe vent, etc.?
Maybe there's a character you can relate to and they have self harm issues in your headcannon?
please help me
i'm a very shy person irl – usually i rely upon my friends to speak for me etc. bcus of this i've only had one irl bf as i usually pussy out or am forbade to date them by my parents (strict diaspora type).
since covid i've been spending a lot more time online and i ended up having two ebfs, and am currently somewhat trying to get a new one. for some reason i find it much easier to communicate with moids online, and a perk of edating for me is that my parents do not need to know (i can date boys from outside my ethnic bg).
i know that edating isn't "real" though - i want to be able to get a "real" bf but not have it be some borderline arranged marriage stereotypical freak and not be so awkward. i don't want to have to move back to my homeland just to find love.
how do i get a boyfriend, and should i stop edating if i already know it's somewhat self-destructive?
Its 27°c (very hot) where I am every day. I'm stuck between opening my window to make the summer heat more bearable, or closing my window to avoid the shrieking retard toddler next door. I'm fucking sick of it. So sick of it in fact that I loudly ranted down the phone about it thinking they couldn't hear me and they almost immediately took the little twat indoors.
I'm leaving them a note anyway. I'm sick of having to hear that yoke barking and I'm sick of having to listen to every detail of her parents arguments. I'm sorry but I'm saying it- I hate when inner city Dublin arseholes move to the outskirts of the city and still behave like they
1)have to constantly talk louder than passing cars and
2)act like antisocial scumbags
And I'll break their poxy dog in half if it doesn't stop triggering my dogs into barking matches
I was watching my old high school graduation videos and saw my old best friend who I haven’t really thought about much. We had a falling out just after school over a dumb boy of all things. Should I contact her again? I don’t remember a lot of what happened but I do miss her… But I’m worried this sad nostalgia might be one-sided.
Abusive relationships
A lot of women, on cc aswell as lolcow, report having an abusive boyfriend or ex-bf.
How common is it ? Why does it happen so much ? Are moid abusers even aware of their abuse ? It's fucking weird that scrotes always insist that it's the women fault if she desn't leave. Do they secretely want to abuse a woman if she is insecure enough to let them do it ?
And for victims, how do you know you're in an abusive relationship ? How do you differentiate an abusive partner from a moody one ? Who helped you to get out ?
I'm personnally always paranoid about moids trying to take advantage of me, so I always overreact and have a lot of troubles making compromises in relationships. I don't get abused, but I don't have LTRs either.
Theory: the comparison between femcels and incels prove that Women are better people than men
you don't see anyone here getting bitter or angry, calling for the heads of all men for not dating us. We don't worship Chads whereas incels constantly orbit stacies and we have actual empathy for each other instead of crab bucketting each other out of spite
When’s the first time you realized you were kinda empty inside?
>someone told me today that they saw this guy I had been thardcore into for the last couple of years, at the bar with another girl. Normally something like this with throw me over the edge. But I felt absolutely nothing, not sad , not jealous. Im finally completely empty and numb.
My husband is watching porn
I'm a 24 years old married French anon, my husband is 28, we are in relationships since 4-5 years with no big problem.
A few day ago, my curiosity pushed me to check his phone's web history (when he was asleep lol).
I discovered that almost 1 day on 2, he is watching porn sites.
What's puzzled me the most is the researches he made : "sister" and "teen"
What's the psychology behind "sister" and "teen" porn?
I can't stop thinking about that.
I feel disgusted.
I don't want to talk/ask to him about that.
Advice?
Ps: pardon my English
Other people
How do/would you react to your partner talking about how someone is attractive? What do you say to them after that? Do you care at all? Does it make you insecure? Do you consider other people attractive?
I personally have no idea what to say. I do feel insecure and shit but just because i know im not pretty. I dont even know what kind of conversation he expects, do i just say my opinion? I can ask him who he finds more attractive, me or her, but i already know the answer to that.
Well honestly i dont even know what it means to him when he says that someone is attractive…
can someone empathize
I've got poor English, but I'll try to elaborate as much as I can. I haven't been eating right because of neurosis, and my health deteriorated yadda yadda. Anyway I've got fear of needles because of past trauma, and the way of treatment chosen was nutrition through the venous system.. anyway I had to get straddled down and held down for the injection.. I felt pretty bad and slept during and after while at home.. I slept and woke up with a bruised arm I wish I could do something about it…
So I thought I finally found a group of people I like and I somehow belong to. I was in a quite big facebook and the only rule was not to report. I was there for ca. 2 years, organizing meetups and I know many many of them personally. And today I misstaped and accidentally reported a post. The admins immediately kicked me out, without any discusion, without chance of any explanation. When I tried to contact the one who kicked me, he laughed at me. Another admind added me back and I wrote apologizing, however they kicked me again. Fortunately, some of them still like me and are on my side.
I am so sad. During the last year I was slowly starting isolating myself, started having problems with getting know others and avoiding strangers.
And this hurts me, because many of them just denounced me. And I know if some of them do the same, they wouldn't be so tough.
My mom used to tease me when I was 11 and say I was I closet lesbian because I didn’t have any friends and the only clothes that fit me at the time we’re boys clothing
Going to start spitting in my dads girlfriends food
I'm in my dads house while I recover from a surgery. I'm pretty much bed bound, and I spend all day in my room alone because of it. I'm lonely. Well my dad said I can take one of my dogs upstairs with me (they live here while I live elsewhere) and I was absolutely delighted to finally have some company in my room. Well that selfish cunt decided to have a problem with that, and because my dad has no spine, he rang me on the phone while he was in work to let me know that he realises shes being a cunt and it's his fault for telling me I could have to dog upstairs but that I have to take him downstairs and vacuum the stairs to make sure there was no fur. Just to be clear, she isn't allergic to fur. She knows I can't stand or walk after my surgery and she want me to carry a heavy vacuum up the stairs on top of being alone in my room. Fat cunt.
This is only one incident in a long line of retard behaviours from her. It's always like this even when I lived there. It's always her crying over dish towels or something and making my dad come to tell me that he knows thay shes acting like a cow but to go along with it because he doesn't want to deal with her.
So I'm going to start spitting in her fucking food. I'm going to start leaving the vacuum where she leaves her bike. I'm going to wipe my spit on the rim of her coffee mugs if I see them in the press and let it dry into them. If I didn't feel sorry for mt dad, I'd start tossing shot glasses of my own piss infront of her bedroom door or wiping it inside her shoes. I've already starting wiping my armpits with her clean laundry
Does anyone else get the impression that women are being brainwashed?
Right so, unpopular opinion here I'm sure. That said… Sometimes I feel like the media is trying to convince women that being empowered, strong, and respecting themselves, is the same thing as being sexual, naive, and sexist (towards men, but sometimes towards women as well).
I feel like in order to be respected by fellow women now, I need to have a disregard for any romantic relationship because a "man has no right to control me", which is true, but also that doesn't give me a right to treat him as replaceable and unworthy of me because I'm a 'queen'. It feels like I have to show all of myself, and there's a reverse slut shaming where girls who aren't comfortable with that are against the flow of progress or are prudes. It feels like while the media says it's empowering to dress in little to nothing, really we're still sexualizing ourselves for others. I could go on and on but my point is that sometimes, I get the sneaking suspicion women are being controlled by this new wave of feminism. It feels like originally, the message was pure, but it's been tainted by the people in power who profit off of women acting the way they do now.
I don't know. If you disagree, please tell me why. I'd like to have a conversation about it but have nobody to ramble at.
Vent thread
last thread was >>56355
Cheating
I've been in a ldr for quite a while, and its all going amazing. Still, lately I cannot help to think that my boyfriend - who truly loves me - could be tempted to cheat in the future (or already tought about doing it). I know he wouldnt, cause he is very sensitive about my feelings and liked me for 2 years already (even tho I dumped him the first time we tried dating).
Anyways, I've been cheated before and thats probably why this still haunts me, but I just can stop this feeling and its destroying me. Already asked him about it. He comforted me saying he would never do it, and I know he was speaking truth.
I trully love him, but I cant control those feelings. How do you deal with this?
Why does my mother call me just to talk about nothing? As I'm typing this, she's telling me about what she had to eat and reciting new recipes she tried.
If not food, then she's talking about men issues…it's weird. I mean, I'm used to it, because she's always been the type to at length talk about mundane stuff going on in her life (I've never been comfy enough with her to talk about my own life, then again I'm not interesting), but yeah. Anyone else's mom/dad do this?
Friends
How the fuck do you make new friends? Is there like an app or something I can use? Or do I have to subject myself to the "discords" these trannies seem to lurk.
Sorry to bump but I need female opinions on this.
I have a crush on a guy whose in one of my university clubs(but he goes to a different school). Because of covid I rarely see him irl but we still have weekly virtual meetings… which I've missed recently but let's get to the point.
How do I make him notice me? My guy friend told me to slide in his DMs and just ask him out or make small talk but it seems too direct to me. Appearance-wise he's my looksmatch but everything else about him is out of my league. He's super involved in local activism and community service and on top of that is in grad school which I really admire. So he's super busy and I know he'd make time for me if he wanted to but I feel like I'd be disrespecting him if I talked to him since he has more important things to do than talk to that rando freshman chick from Sunrise. And we don't talk outside of club activities which isn't very often so I feel like it would be out of the blue.
What should I do? I can't tell if my hesitance comes from low self esteem or good reason. I'd have to make the first move because he wouldn't notice me otherwise. Not that I want to chase him but yeah… Should I try to become friends with him, which would probably lead to feelings on his part?
I love women hate threads
They really show how bad men really are. It's funny how women hate threads are always the same recycled images(have been for years), usually about women having their nudes leaked or the dating 'hierarchy.' Or about women expressing their sexuality.
Meanwhile, if women made moid hate threads, we'd have a lifetime worth of new content. We wouldn't even have to cherry pick or reuse images. Rape, pedophilia, murder, abuse, etc. Never would need a reused image, because each day men do something more shocking than before. Not only that, the statistical evidence of pedophilia in men would be a great image for that.
Anyway, that's all I wanted to share. The thought brightened up my day.
I downloaded tiktok and I got this horrible feeling in my stomach it was weird. I felt like everyone was degenerate or weird while they weren't doing anything wrong and I'm quite confused why I felt that way. I had this feeling when I went out the other day as well with my boyfriend, it was like we were the only clean people in the world everyone else was dirty. I don't understand what the fuck is wrong with me, is this because of quarantine? This is the reason that I kinda cut contracts with most of my friends like everyone just seems degenerate or ugly. Why is this happening I wasn't like this I was always enjoying meeting new people I'm so mad and sad about myself. Am I a bad person, how can I fix that?
I am lost.
I was friends with guy who was really initiating contact with me. We made it clear that everything was platonic and he, himself said nothing was between us.
He initiated everything from wanting to hang out together, texting and calling. This went on for a month and after some time, I started getting used to him being there and regarded him as a close friend. I did end up telling him about something I was insecure about. He did share with me that info of him early during around friendship. During that convo, he was really empathetic and said he struggled with the same issue, as well.
Out of the blue, he doesn’t initiate any contact anymore. Even my texts, he is unresponsive to it whereas before he would even double, triple text me in a day.
I regarded him as a friend so, I am hurt with this sudden change of behaviour. I did ask him directly if everything was fine between us and he said all was well. He was almost ‘love-bombing’ me in the initial and once I let my walls down, he just disappeared.
Am I over-reading into things or was I just another ‘challenge’ for him to see if I would let him in?
I hate my dad, I hate hating my dad, I hate how people stereotype the whole "daddy issues" thing and although I hate him I still wish I had a good relationship with him
Punish bf for forgetting our plans
My bf and I were supposed to watch an anime yesterday, we’re LDR, and he forgot that we made plans a week ago.
Problem is this happens a huge majority of the time. He forgets I made plans. I say I because he never sets up plans with me I’m always the one having to set things up.
He also almost never calls me. The few times he did was when he was driving to fucking Taco Bell. He tells me how much he loves and misses me but his actions do not show it.
How can I punish him for missing plans for the 10th time.
Tw: rape
.
.
.
I need help. I have been raped 4 times in the past 5 years by 4 different guys, and after the most recent one I am afraid that it will happen again.
The first 3 happened in rapid succession and it totally ruined my life for a year. I went through a shit ton of therapy and I am emotionally and mentally fine now, but a week ago it happened again. I had thought “oh I was naive and had low self consciousness, but now i’m more independent and confident so it won’t happen again” but clearly that isn’t the case.
I’ve never spoken about it publicly IRL and don’t plan to.
I need real advice. There are a lot of shitty people and clearly I am not doing enough to defend myself. I need to learn some concrete things that I can do to stop this from happening or some self defense suggestions.
I can give more specifics about the situations if it would help. I don’t mind talking about it at all now thankfully.
Help me?
I need help, please.
I think I need to clear my mind with something I'm going through and I need some input from someone more experienced than I am (I'm 18). I don't want to put myself in a dangerous situation.
I don't want to discuss what it is in this post, but I'll leave my discord so you can add me if you want to help. It would mean the world to me.
No, I'm not going to ask you for money or anything, I just want life advice.
Add me Teabag#7246
distance
i'm considering in leaving my boyfriend,we planned to meet this summer since he lives pretty far..i was his frist online relationship and he told me when we 1st dated the only way we could date was if we met…..my family is broke we can barely afford keep the lights on, i don't know how to tell him, he's told his parents about me and let me meet his friends over vc.I love him so much and this is the 1st healthy stable relationship ive been in he's my world i'm so scared of losing him over money but i just can't tell him so i might have to leave him 1st….i keep coming up with things in my head to make him seem toxic so i can leave him without feeling guilty but the things i find are so small like when he asked to do ''stuff'' the same night i was having a mental breakdown but that's not even bad im sure he didnt mean it that way, rn i'm currently not speaking to him and staying off of social media….i just don't know what to do can someone please give me advice
>lesbian
>watching princess jellyfish with male friend
>imagine him extravagantly dressed as a woman (like kuranosuke)
>feel butterflies in my stomach
I don't even know if this was attraction or what. Does it make me bi? I feel lost and confused. I'm very upset at this.
I am a former pickme and somewhat tradthot.
I got into feminist theory, particularly radfem theory, and the way men treated me my whole life finally started making sense. For years I thought my mistreatment was my own fault for not being pretty enough, submissive enough, young enough, cultured enough, etc. It took me this long to realize that no matter how well I performed femininity, men did not treat me any better. Misogynists will never see women as human and they'll never make room for exceptions, the archetype of the exception that I chased desperately.
I don't really know how to move forward in a healthy way. I was always afraid of men, but now I'm afraid in a whole new way. Men hate the women they have under their thumb but they hate women outside of their influence even more. I'm in fear of what my ex might do to me if he ever feels like he needs to take me down a notch. I can already feel myself becoming more paranoid in my daily life as a result of my new mindset. I am losing my self-loathing and exchanging that for loathing and fearing men. Though justifiably, I'll add.
If anyone has been in the same situation as me please tell me how you were able to move on, and become happy. The paranoia is very intense, and I'd really like to overcome it.
>there are males on this board reading this post right now and they're just here to laugh at us
angry
Would it solve most problems if cosmetic surgery got better?
Seems like an obvious thing to fix
husband has had an affair
>be me
>26F, tradwife & married
>two young boys
>finds out my husband has been conversing conversation back and forth on Facebook behind my back to an ex-college friend
>husband has perverted humour and cannot decide if he may be having an affair with them
>asks him, he denies
>shows the messages i had been taking screenshots of, he denies an affair
>a couple months pass
>see that he's been talking to them frequently again all of the sudden, i stalk his location
>finds out they get coffee together every week
>i snap, he begins to act sulky, in half-denial, but later admits he's been having coffee with her but has been no "affairs"
>a couple weeks pass, finds out he had an affair
I want to leave him and stay at my mothers' for a while and put my mental health together before coming back to the house as it has been slowly draining me but i'm scared of leaving the kids with him - he'll start to get possessive over them and threaten to do something to himself if I take them.
I cannot leave my husband because without him, I'd be living in a council house and i cannot bare being alone
Kevin Samuels and Finding a Man
Anybody watch any of this guy's videos / streams? I realize CC isn't LSA, but LSA wouldn't be able to understand my frustrations.
His videos have women who are usually single who talk about their past relationships and I'm shocked by the sheer amount of them that have had boyfriends! They talk about having 2 and 3 boyfriends in the last few years and I can't even manage to find one! I don't think I have too high of standards or anything, but I'm not sure where these women are finding men. Is it easier to find a man if you're black?
why when my boyfriend wants to improve himself I feel a horrible feeling in my stomach?
How do I stop this
Giving up on dating
I haven't seen any threads made on this topic, so I'll make one myself. I want to stop dating men as a form of separatism. I don't trust men anymore, I don't want to form a family or live my life with someone I can't trust. Most men are vile, they want to take, take, take. I don't want to have sex or relationships with them at all. How can I achieve this without driving myself crazy? Is there any effective way to avoid men as much as possible?
How do you heal the relationship between you and men?
I've always been scared of men, even though I act cold and nonchalant but deep inside I have such a scared/hatred for them since I've had such terrible experiences with them ever since I was young. I try to manifest better men to come into my life but it never lasts as long. Any tips?
>into femdom
>met beta orbiter on 4chan
>he's into femdom too obviously
>tease him and humiliate him a lot
>he's so desperate for me
>he says that he loves me every day
>showers me with compliments and affection
>never felt anything like this
>he's always there for me
>we do stuff like watching anime together
>waits for me whenever I go out at night to tell me goodnight
>sends me gifts on his own will
>I play with his feelings a lot
>lead him on a lot
>switch from pretending to love him to telling him I would never even let him touch me back and forth
>this goes on for months
>it's been a week since he disappeared out of the blue
>turns out I loved him for real
Rude awakening n.42245
>Some guy messages me and asks if we can exchange songs
>You agree
>About 2 weeks pass, I like the songs he sends and he likes mine
>Decide to check his page
>"Modern foids (pretty much the english equivalent of the word he used to refer to women) are disgusting. I could honestly not understand my younger self for falling for them. Fuck this shit
Why does it always has to be like this? I'm about to ask him why he thinks that way and why he's talking to me even tho I'm a disgusting foid. Fml.
Unable to relate- existentially alone
Does anyone else experience the following?
Do you feel out of place wherever you go? Unable to relate to anyone on any significant level?
Thread musical theme https://youtu.be/bpew5DB47Jw
I feel as if I am old yet not even 30. I struggle to relate to others on imageboards generally for a variety of reasons. I do not have that compulsion to get hitched or even make friends irl and I feel that alienates me. I think people worry themselves too much about the future and buy into politics and I am just sick of it but something is wrong on an even deeper level.
People will tend to like me and want to spend time with me online or offline (my only experience is psychwards for socializing irl) but I generally do not enjoy being near others and prefer to be by myself.
I try to talk to people and make friends and it becomes so much of a burden so I typically vanish on them. (now I tell people before talking that I will cease contact at some point as it is not nice to ghost people).
Am I a horrible person for treating relationships as an easy way to entertain myself?
On the rare chance I do get close to someone I become a crazy BPD (diagnosed lol) ver them and end up suffering a lot as a result.
Is there some way to fix this? it is only getting worse and I have fallen so far behind with the world. I decided to try discord and did not fit into any public community and even obscure text/imageboard discord communities seem to be full of kids.
It is less that I want to fit in and more that I want to want to fit in. I do not understand people if that makes sense.
Most people seem to make friends with anyone that will like them and I personally do not care about being liked at all and only want to like someone else yet struggle.
I am being taken to some social groups with a social worker soon and hoping I will be able to enjoy being social but I worry I won't.
Do you relate? do you have any tips? I can talk to people for long periods and never bond with them despite wishing to.
I worry that isolation has ruined me for life.
Sorry for a badly written post I did try and I want to hear how you feel.
Your thought
Thoughts are plants. What is a thought plant you water but have told none?
Is there really a good man out there for me? Are there such things as good men? Do you still have hope?
Have any of you girls ever have success with getting a cute bf by becoming an arthoe? I feel like my current fashion style is too generic to stand out. So I might try it or maybe the goth look idk
Science says that Love only lasts 6 months at best, why do you want to get married or even have a long term relationship? Men are natural whores, is part of their nature, you can be the hottest woman on earth but he will eventually get bored of having sex with you.
I want to take drugs, yes, I want to take drugs forget about all my sadness and be happy.
narcissist bf
my ex sorta boyfriend was such a fucking asshole and I don't know why I feel so bad for us not talking anymore. i wanna type up something here about our history but I don't know if anyone here will read the entire thing so sorry
i had known him for two years and i had a crush on him forever but i didn't go too far with him because i still had a boyfriend at the time (he hit me a lot and was very jealous and controlling). I wanted to cheat with him so bad because I just wanted to escape from my fucked up relationship so much that even though me and him connected on the most basic things like music and stuff i felt closer to him then i ever did to my then bf.
i broke up with my abusive ex, only at his whim, because he already moved out of my town for college so we were dead to begin with at that point. even though he hit me, demanded looking through my phone and social media constantly, i had never felt so invalidated in my life when he left me. it was horrible, but because he was my first and only relationship in my life, i felt like i lost something big.
I tried to patch it up by getting with the guy in question here. We "dated" for about 6 months and he changed a lot. i said he used to be awkward and shy, now he was super aggressive sexually, acted a lot more like a stereotypical fuck boy, at least over text. when I met him in person for the first time in forever, he was alot more like how I remembered him in high school, awkward in a funny way, soft spoken. i remember he brought me to a music store for our first "date" and I was so nervous I got a rash on my chest and I felt so sweaty. when he dropped me off at my house i hugged him and told him I liked him. he liked me back.
I won't waste anyone's time by detailing our whole relationship, but i guess I can try and include the most important parts. basically as time went on even though I felt really close to him and so did he he reminded me of my ex too much with the not so subtle jealousy and insecurity. I tried really hard for him so much it makes me cringe. I went along with whatever fantasy he had, i was super open about my kinks with him, i told him i wanted to be his little princess for daddy, I wanted him to spank me. it makes me feel gross now because i was probably giving him so much power he felt like he could say and do all the fucked up and down right mean things to me when we got into our "fight". he told me he was a virgin and i inflated his ego so much once he lost it to me. i was a fucking doormat.
the one thing I hated the most, was no matter how sweet he tried to be with me, he would either somehow use it to try and get sex, or he would act like the relationship was all about himself. he would talk about himself SO MUCH. he would talk about his interests instead of asking about mine, and whenever I would try and get him into my music he would pretend to listen to it and I could tell he wasn't even listening to the playlists I sent him. I was trying so hard for him and he wasn't for me. one of my cringiest moments is when he spent several minutes talking about "german philosophy" and I just sat there and tried my hardest to be as genuinely interested, because I loved him so much.
over time this anger over his narcissism just built up in me, and one day after he hung up on a phone call I called him out for being a selfish fucking dick. he tried talking to me and asking me what was wrong but when i wasn't responding to his texts he lashed out at me and called me a dumb bitch, he said my vagina smelled like fish when we had sex and in the heat of the moment that made me cry so hard. I face timed him because I wanted him to see the damage he did, I wanted to guilt him so hard and bring his ego down. I guess it didn't work because god knows why but we made up and stayed together for at least another month.
things weren't so bad, at first he tried being nicer to me, he would let me talk about myself alot more, but eventually he kind of went back to his old ways of caring about himself more than me and acting like I existed to serve him. I kept seeing the little things about him that gave me the ick, and one day I just ghosted him after sending me this text that reeked of his typical arrogant self importance. He seemed worried at first, asking if i was okay, but then just like the last time he starting getting angry and resentful, hurling insults at me. I didn't have the energy to get into a phone call fight this time so I just kept ignoring him. i spent several days wondering what I did wrong, and if there was anything I could have done to prevent him from becoming the way he did. i even felt like it was MY fault for some reason. one day he texted me "I'm sorry for the way I am sometimes". all i said was "don't be, it's not your fault sometimes". he said something else after that, but I forgot because i deleted all our messages and haven't talked to him since.
he was such a fucking dickhead to me. a week ago i felt happy i could move on but i can't get him from living in my head. what the fuck is wrong with me?
Have any of you ever had to end a long term (let's say minimum of 2 years) relationship that you didn't really want to end, but you felt like you had no choice?
>What made you leave?
>How did you feel afterwards?
>How did life go after becoming single again?
>Did you date again, and if so, how was it overall?
My fiance is a heavy alcoholic. We have been together for four years and I have tried time and time again to help him to quit but he just isn't trying. It's an endless cycle of him vowing to stop and then drinking the very next morning. Yesterday I woke up to him being absolutely wasted at 10 am and then he came home from a friend's house hours later even more fucked up with a mysterious gash on his forehead, wallet and glasses missing, and passed out on the porch. I love him so much but his drinking is slowly killing me and I just can't do this forever. He has done so much for me and I feel like such a bitch even considering leaving him, but I have absolutely no stability in my life and the drinking makes me feel even more like my life will never be in my control.
I've never really been in this predicament because I've only been in one other long term relationship and he was physically abusive and cheating on me, so it was a much easier choice to leave, but this time it just feels so much more complicated and hard. We were supposed to spend forever together and I'm watching him slowly but surely poison himself and destroy our chances of having any semblance of a normal life instead.
Adhd
I feel like my adhd is out of control.
Between that, lack of motivation, and the internet I never get anything done.
I just read shit online. All day long. Not social media. Just. Like articles or whatever.
When I could be doing something anything else.
I have so many hobbies that I love to do. And I just. Don’t.
I know I need to change my adhd medication to extended release.
But it’s being online so much that really bums me out.
I don’t even watch tv or YouTube.
I need to reinstall my screen time password that my husband knows because I legit have zero self control and no other apps are worth anything.
Between 5 to 10 hours like wtf. I hate it.
Almost molested
I think my uncle tried to molest me as a child. He is about 8 years older than me, and growing up we lived in the same house. Because I pretty much perceived him as the other kid in the house I would always bother him.
Something that haunts me is that he likely tried to molest me. The incident I remember was that I was about 6 or 7 years old and we were watching Spirited Away in his room. He told me to get out for a second and he wanted to show me a secret. When I came back in her had a pillow on his lap and his pants kind of down. I don't remember what happened but it must have only been a few seconds before he ushered me out the door without actually doing anything.
I don't know how to deal with this. I didn't think anything of it as a dumb kid. We have a relatively friendly relationship even though we only see eachother every few months.
I don't know how to deal with realising that someone I used to idolise tried to abuse me. Did he even try to abuse me? It seems so obvious but I don't want to believe it. I doubt he even remembers. I'm terrified to confront him incase I'm totally wrong, but I don't think I can let this go
> texting a man in the morning
> time of the day when he’s most aroused from overnight testosterone production
> you can get the neediness you want from him
:3
Self harm general
Anyone else self harm(ed)?
>Why
>How
>Advice
>Have you ever been caught?
>Do you want to be caught?
>Do you try to leave scars?
chasing emotionally unavailable men
why do we do it anons
In a void over the 'oids
I came here thinking it would be based, but I still haven't found my niche. How come other women want to make spaces just for them but discourage interesting topics or discourse? The rules are really sensitive that I might be breaking one by making this post. they're constrictive and makes the dialog here feel like bathroom gossip. random,media,imgs,feels?? this is a stereotype in real time (woman have no hobbies, only follow men, don't create innovate, just regurgitate),its a bad look /pol/ is right about and I don't want them to be cause they act like knowitalls but isn't it funny, they will never be a woman.
I've had all guy friends my whole life but it seems like like-minded men are increasingly resentful towards woman, I'm lonely in my mind..people I meet irl are either normies or rarely based and fuckzone me because they are deprived and only want one thing at this point. we arent kids anymore..
More positive/fun female-only online spaces?
I feel like many of the female-only spaces online end up concentrating on hatred of moids and subsets of moids– or just negative emotions in general. I mean, I get it, that's actually how I ended up finding the female-only spaces I'm referring to, but I suppose what really drew me to female-only online spaces was this deep desire to connect and enjoy things with other women.
I try to only involve myself in the more fun threads and make more lighthearted/shitposty threads myself (be the change, etc.) , but I feel like it just doesn't get as much traction as threads that cultivate feelings of anger, outrage, sadness, or a blackpilled/cynical view of life.
I guess I've been craving female-only online communities where I can just chill and talk about interesting stuff and meme around and such. I keep coming back here because I have that craving, but it seems like the most active threads are also the ones that are the most hatred or sadness driven. Again, I get it. Moids take away so much from us and it's unjust and repulsive to the nth degree. But I just want to chill in a female-only online space without feeling my own mental health deteriorating.
I thought about posting this in /meta/, but I already made a post suggesting we have boards for specific interests, e.g. science/tech, sport/exercise/fitness, music. I think having boards that are more interest-focused might improve things. IDK.
Tfw only child
I wish I had a big sister
Dealing with loss of pet
My dog died unexpectedly much younger than we ever thought she would (9 years old) last night after a tumor we had no idea about ruptured and she bled out internally. We had no idea she had cancer. She was fine at 9am and by 6pm she was almost dead in our vet's office and my fiance and I had to make the call.
She was my first dog as an adult and she felt like she really was my child, she gave me the love I can only imagine a daughter with mommy issues could have given, and I'll never have anything like what she gave me again.
How do I cope with this loss? I feel stupid saying I feel like I've lost a child but that's really how it feels. I feel so empty and waves of sadness move over me every so often, sometimes I'll be crying hysterically other times I'll be just laying there catatonic. I have so many regrets, I wish I spent so much more time giving her so much more than I did.
Weddings
Do you want to get married?
If so, what's your dream wedding?
Who would you invite?
What wedding dress would you wear?
What theme would you do?
Feeling stuck
Does anyone else struggle with getting out of a 'rut'? I've recently left secondary school during which I got pretty badly bullied and teased from supposed friends. I'm really asocial now and I'm starting to neglect educational duties as well as forgetting about job hunting. I haven't picked up enough productive hobbies and I'm starting to get sick of this lifestyle I have lived for the past few years. How do I make meaningful changes to my life? Starting to think I'm missing out.
Vicarious Trauma
Hi miners. I saw something terrible on the web and I have been having panic attacks about it. There's nothing I can do to change the outcome, but I keep fantasizing about saving a baby that was brutally murdered. I feel okay until it's time to sleep and then it gets so hard to breathe and my heart beats out my chest. This sucks.
Internet Romance
Story time! Have you ever fallen in love online, sisters?
Bonus points if it happened back before webcams and smartphones were ubiquitous.
why
why do i have no sympathy for humans, only animals and fictional characters.
i can see a baby go through terrible things and I wouldn't blink.
why.
Distant boyfriend or needy girlfriend?
I have been in a ldr with this guy for about 2 months. The earlier weeks were really nice. After that, work happened and both of us got kinda swamped with it.
I did try to still make time for him by texting/calling him at night, dedicating atleast 15 min or more for him. But when he was the one packed by work, he ended up ignoring me. He texts me at late night saying he loves me or any texts that states he is horny.
Everytime I initiate the calls or even if he did, he would only be doing work. I asked him for 5-15 mins of his time yet, it was said to be unfair to him as this project is really important to him. I faced a failure in one of my projects and he couldn’t be there to console me as he was too caught up with work.
Earlier, we have fought due to other small things like him following half-naked women, cursing at me casually, joking about finding a new girlfriend etc. He apologised for everything and told he would fit it, which he did.
Every issue was brought up by me, which he also pointed out, including the current issue, about me not getting any proper attention for the past 3 weeks or so. We had a deal that we would set a time to call, which I suggested, yet he would conveniently forget about it. If I called first, he would just say he is busy. We’ve discussed about the calls thrice.
I broke up with him once because of this reason. He asked me for a few more days as his project would finish. So, I decided to give him a chance.
2 days after his project finished, I hit him up, called him and all, which he declined and texted me for abit, instead. That night, I clearly told him that I really want to talk to him and wanted his attention. He said he’s tired with work and wanted to chill abit, stating he’ll call later, which he never did. He went out with his friends and partied.
The next day, I jokingly texted him to prove his love to me, asking me to show his love to me. He got annoyed and told me to chill. He wants to play video games and will check up on me later. He apologised for not being present enough for me. I didn’t reply to his text and neither did he called.
A few days has passed without anything from him. What should I do?
Rolemodel thread
We all have people that trouble or confuse us but what about our rolemodels?
I talked to this older lady on Wednesday. She talked about finally meeting her financial guardian in person again and that it had been lovely. I said that sounded nice and that quarantine could probably get lonely sometimes and that it's a nice change. She looked me straight in the eye and said that she never, ever felt lonely. Because she felt like a part of humanity. She'd sit in her chair and look at the clear blue sky and enjoy her inner peace. She had been troubled before but not anymore.
She is a very calm and peaceful person and has something refreshingly youthful and cheeky about herself, too. Everyone who meets her likes her. It's always a blast and easy-going hanging out with her.
There is a social worker helping her that gets called by his first name by his co-workers. She asked him if she could call him that, too. He asked back how he'd call her then. And she said: I mean, Miss XYZ of course! And he laughed his ass off at that.
She is a badass. She has Parkinson's and used to be sick emotionally but not anymore. It was a struggle that she has overcome with the years. At the moment, she is preparing her burial in advance, so that her daughter will not have to go through the trouble. That is so admirable. And most of all, I admire her inner peace.
She is one of my rolemodels.
Late twenties and older singledom thread
I’m 29, single my entire life and worried about fertility issues in the future. I used dating websites in the past but had no luck with it. Ladies in the same boat, how do you cope? What are your hopes for the future? Are you doing anything about your singledom?
pornography in a relationship
hi,
how do I cope with porn being present in my relationship? and to be clear- I’m not the one watching it. I know that being mad about it is childish, but I just can’t help feeling hurt. I know my partner is faithful to me, happy with me and loves me very much. Nevertheless, I can’t stop thinking about them watching other women’s bodies in those vulgar videos/pics…it seems so primitive to me… how to explain to myself that pornography isn’t the greatest evil in a relationship? literal me in the pic
Internet sucked the joy out of life
Do any other younger users here feel like they missed out on a lot by not being born before the internet became so mainstream? I do realize that some of it is just nostalgia, but people talking about how life was like in the 90s and early to mid 00s just sounds awesome. I am by no means old but I live in a country where internet only became widely available by the time I was like 8 or 9 and I could literally feel it suck all the fun and uniqueness out of life. Nowadays I am just bitter that (among other things) I did not get to experience life before all of this and honestly, it is just gonna get worse and worse. I spend a lot of my time just indulging media and fantasies that take place in that era. Does anyone else feel the same? (And could anyone recommend me any movies or shows with that distinct 90s era nostalgia?)
I don't want to exist
Not death. This isn't some suicidal cry for help or anything. I just don't want to exist. I want to sit outside of time and watch everybody I love live happy lives, and I want to be able to push them along the right paths to make sure that happens. I don't want to interfere with anybody else, I just want to watch people live and make mistakes and fall in love and whatever else…
God. I really don't want to exist. It's too much sometimes. The only time I don't feel like I exist is when I'm dancing. I know that sounds weird.
Ah. This suddenly strikes me as stupid.
afraid of men
I live in a latin american country and reading the news about what men do to women (random, their wives, gfs, daughters) has made very scared of them. I used to just find them gross but now it terrifies me to think of all the things they could do to myself or other women. I wish I could go back to just thinking they're pathetic instead of getting so anxious and tense my body starts to hurt whenever they get close to me.
Add
It has fucked up my life.
How to feel like part of something? People care for me and i care for them but there is no home
Happy Feels/Vent
Share the good things that have happened to you recently!
I randomly got a call for a job that I didn't apply for, but the job offer is my passion (cake decorating)! I went to the interview yesterday, and was hired immediately. The chef is a cool druggy gamer guy as are the other dudes in the kitchen, so now I'm gonna make a bunch of awesome cool nerdy friends! He really liked the cake I brought him and the work I did. The pay is more than I was expecting.
The only thing that makes me nervous is that he also wants me to work the line, which I've never done, but the place is classy so we're putting out beautiful food that I'm really proud of and even messing with molecular gastronomy, which I've wanted to get into for a very long time! I'm so excited to do my best.
I live in a single-mother family. My mom is a pathological liar and must have some kind of schizophrenia. She never really took care of me and always abused me a lot. That's why I lived with my grandpa. My grandpa died this year and basically, my whole fucking life fell apart. I have no one to call family I have no house to feel at home and when I see my friends with their perfect loving families I'm not jealous but I just have the urge to cry no idea why. My mom basically gives me 0 money that's why I gotta work to buy shampoo or basic stuff. The thing is that she throws tantrums or just straight up makes me leave the house extremely late hours because she's pissed with me for no reason then her personality changes and its like nothing happened. I can't communicate with her when I'm trying to talk to her she's never looking at me or just talks over me about whatever like I'm some kind of trash. I wanna rent and leave but I can't get a full time job because of uni and my part-time job can't even pay a month of rent let alone all my other needs.
I'm just going to kill myself at some point I guess. I can't handle this I miss my grandpa so much I miss having a family.
getting over breakups
tldr i was with him for over a year. we were eachothers first love and everything else and lived together. i recently moved back home and have cut off contact with him but just slipped up today. its been getting easier but now im crying my eyes out and feeling really terrible again. i regret contacting him but i was so curious.
i left because he was getting cruel and abusive and developing bad, bad habits. he changed so fast. he says he loves me and will never move on, but he never reaches out to me and isnt even trying to change. he hasnt even apologized for anything.
i keep having false hope. the worst part is i just feel useless. i feel not good enough to have made him want to treat me better, or i wasnt worth loving. it hurts a lot. i feel like a failure, like all of my dreams and hopes wont work out for me. i want to heal and be better and create things i can be proud of and move on and maybe make a name for myself online whatever. im just hurting a lot. i lost my best friend essentially and i wasnt good enough to treat well.
Why is it that women, especially pretty Stacy women, are cursed to have to date ugly moids?
Why is it common that you’ll see a 10/10 woman with a 2/10 man, but never the other way around? Stupid fucking men can be selective jerks and be picky about whatever woman they date, but pretty women have to date an ugly beast because “iT’s wHaT’s oN tHe InsiDE thAT cOuNtS”. It’s fucking bullshit and it makes me angry, just look at this pic for example (yes I know they’ve long broken up by now but still)
I HATE MEN
They are very gross.
Trying to harden myself
I'm sensitive to other peoples feelings and tend to form very strong bonds. However, my sensitivity makes me prioritize other peoples feelings over my own and the way I bond often leads to one sided loyalty.
I'm working on hardening myself. I've already started cutting out ALL unnecessary/painful people in my life. But it's hard.
There are people I'm attached to that are bad for me. At times it feels like I'm severing my own arm even when the hand is trying to strangle me.
How do you harden yourself, anons? How do you train yourself to go cold? I need it for the sake of my sanity. I can't keep loving everyone and seeing the best in people. It will be my downfall
vent thread
last thread was >>54448
i feel like shit and hate the world so much right now. my moid friend (one of my ONLY friends) is so dense yet seems to assume i dont know what im doing half the time. imma take a leisure walk and go to a convenience store to buy a diet coke. i will listen to a podcast and pick pretty leaves on the way. i think i cant be friends with men anymore for a while. imma focus on just women and myself and start lifting weights.
Changing your life
Anybody else wishes to have a fresh start?
While I was always very shy, I still had at least some friends in kindergarten and primary school.
Getting an ed when I was 13 ruined my life. I always felt inferior to other girls, my body was all I ever cared about. Over the years the number of my friends shrunk more and more, I started to become the "weird" one. I missed out on so many things because of it. While the other girls were busy dressing up, having fun and going out, I was even wearing sweatshirts during summer to hide my "disgusting fat". Later I fled to the internet, got interested in unusual things (kpop and vkei), meaning I spend even more time in my own world - on the internet.
Now I'm starting my 4th year of uni, I gained 70lbs, have close to zero friends and major social anxiety.
I just wish I could be like any other normal girl as well. Waking up without feeling miserable, having the energy to do a skin care and makeup routine (without being obsessive over it), eating something healthy, being confident enough to put on cute clothes and then go meet up with my friends. I don't want to be super popular, just have some girls to talk to, sometimes go out to eat or the cinema, etc. I'd love to overcome my weebness or at least also have interest in other, more normal stuff, so that I could talk about it openly without having to fear judgement(also, getting over the fact that I'm white and will never look like some asian waifu). I want to be able to enjoy food and exercise regularly without getting obsessive over it. I don't want to cry and panic every time exams are coming up, I just want to be more carefree and don't overthink every single little shit. I feel like I never really go to be a young person, simply doing stupid things, I was always already stuck up, acting much more mature - and that's why I don't fit in with others (not that I'm not trying to, I'm just always somehow perceived as unpleasant).
Yesterday I got so desperate about losing weight that I started browsing pro-ana sites again, that's how dumb I am. I tried starting a diet (of course I failed again and binged in the evening), but while I was sitting there and studying I thought to myself 'What if I succeed in losing weight and being disciplined enough to study? In the end I'll just be a skinny person who studies all day long, alone in her room, that's all that there is to my life.'
That one guy who called my calves "manly" which caused my ed and my addiction to the internet destroyed my life. In one week I'm already turning 23 (let's see if anybody of my friends remembers it and texts me), meanwhile I'm still sitting here like a slob, no hygiene, no sleep, with food being my only happiness.
Thoughts? Advice?
I hate it when people worry about me yet I want love
I just realized that I hate it when people I love worry about me. I hate it when they ask me if I am ok or they do nice things for me. Don't get me wrong, I hate it people treat me badly, but I just don't like it when people are worried about me or they try to forcebly help me out. One thing I do like though is when people are just more quiet and chill. I already read about love languages and attachment theory, but honestly I only end up becoming more overwhelmed. Can anyone help me?
embarrassment thread
share embarrassing stories & pictures here.
Did you do something embarrassing? Did another person give you secondhand embarrassment?
Dealing with obsessive and negative thoughts
How do you cope?
Have you managed to stop obsessing over things you can't change/should stay in the past, etc?
How to change?
Etc
Dopamine addiction
How do i increase willpower and focus?
Break ups
We just didn't mesh, he had so much wrong with him and honestly I just move on. If anything I'm not even interested in men, it's women… He was very femme and was always quite androgynous so we made it work. I worked myself into being able to get use to sexual stuff with him, to even get attached to it. But how do you even start, how do you move on. How are you girls coping. This lockdown had made new socializing and dating hard so how do you make it work. Kind of just lost here and feeling all over the place, any advice welcomed.
dealing with rejection
i confessed to a close male friend that i found him attractive while drunk and living with my abusive ex. im trying to heal and i asked him why he reject my comment and the friend said it was because i can be too unstable (while mentioning good qualities) and i mentioned it when drunk and living with my bf at the time which he didnt like. i feel like a piece of shit and burden. i miss my ex a lot but i was tired of the abuse and i didnt get out of it until recently. it took a long time for me. and then the friend i find attractive rejects me so i feel like im the issue…sorry nonnies im drunk and breaking down i know its pathetic. with the breakup and this my self esteem is really low and i dont know how to be independent and love myself im sorry. ive been on new meds which help balance my emotions but i guess im still not good enough because i get sensitive and needy
how can i free myself from being brainwashed and patriarch subscriber?
what helps you?
my top ten hobbies:
- being in a position where my head is upside down so all my blood flow to the head
- staring at myself in a mirror or phone camera
- waiting for time to pass
- walking around in circles
- banging my head with my fists
- talking to others in the psych ward and noticing i do not care i do not care about their most absurd of schizo stories because i do not care about anyhting
- take meds
- play battle tetris
- play mario kart
- listen to kanye wets ghost town
Social anxiety
It seems that according to a lot of posts, a lot of us deal with this stuff, so maybe a thread for trying to improve through it would be good!
>How bad is it/used to be? di anything in particular cause it?
>How do you deal with it in social situations?
>If you used to have it but managed to control it/surpass it, what helped you improve?
>Book/podcast recommendations that helped you
>etc
Anyone else here have one of those families that lets the men do nothing and expects you and your female relatives to do everything?
My family expects the women to cook, clean, do school and work, but men can just work and relax afterwards. My male relatives are fucking slobs but I get blamed when the house is dirty because I'm the "eldest female" and should just be able to keep up with my dad throwing garbage around the house 24/7. And then because I can clean better than anyone else it reaffirms their beliefs that women are naturally better at domestic matters, but I clean better because I was taught how whereas my dad and brother never were.
Romantic movies/anime/manga are lying to us
I'm so disappointed in myself for believing for so long to this bs romance entertainment media is selling to us. Human relationships don't work like that and now my perception is skewed.
(I know. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed - I'm a sucker for romcoms)
lord why do i like being treated like a child
It drove me to creepy/annoying ddlg communities and the worst relationships. I don't know how some people romanticize being unable to create adult mature love instead of only enjoiyng being treated like a retard kid. Lord help me
How to develop a healthy attraction to males
I feel so lonely, and I know how much I want to have a partner, but because of this, I am wary of all contact I have with males. How can I develop a healthier view and approach with them?
I hate social media
The surface web is becoming more and more a unified clump of consciousness, everything is the same everywhere and everyone is the same.
You probably have noticed how everyone catches on trends around the same time as you and you'd think that you were one of the first ones but if you really go back you were just like everyone else, exposed to posts that you unconsciously picked up, even if you don't use social media most importantly TikTok and Twitter because they're echo-chambers you'd still find yourself in this cycle.
Quarantine had made me nostalgic for Vocaloid and J-fashion but no that wasn't my original thought, everyone else had the same thought even kids who never lived through that era, I'm seeing 13-16 year olds doing doll eye makeup with the fake waterline and with music I used to listen to when I was their age, I feel disappointed in my own self for being caught up in this but it doesn't stop here, the music I listen to, the images I like, the way I dress, hair… everything.
You'd think maybe it's a micro-community and you're surrounded by it so it's all you see but honestly no, I used to think the same until I saw people I knew IRL being into those, pop artists, millions and millions of views, random accounts I find by accident, so no it's not a micro-community. The reality of all of the (public) internet being mostly on social media create this hell of dystopia where everyone seems to be part of a hivemind, even myself, even people who think they're above all this and not use any form of social media aside from Discord and imageboards, they too are affected, and it will keep on getting worse as long as everyone from children to artists to politicians to seniors used the same social media and were all exposed to the same algorithm.
It's living hell when you are aware that none of your thoughts is original or unique, knowing that you only got this idea from Pinterest or youtube or somewhere else on the passing and your brain picked it up because of repetition, you and some random 10 year old are the same. This is also probably why communities aren't as strong as they used to be, not only nothing is unique or niche anymore but also everything got watered down to "aesthetics", nothing feels genuine or real anymore. we're all stuck in this collective consciousness that powers us to be consumers.
All I want is to enjoy something niche enough that I don't see kids discuss us, to have a connection with people who truly do enjoy this, and for it to last.
What antipsychotics do to a bitch
I don't fucking care that I have a good life with no responsibilities.
What point is that if I have no emotions or desires.
I just wish I had emotions, then I would care about things, feel comfortable, not feel bad constantly, and be able to improve myself and stop getting fatter.
But instead I care about nothing and make myself fat as fuck. I have no desires or wants, I want nothing, I hate every single thing about life, and I do not want to exist.
Do antidepressants work?
Also, i feel like adhd meds would work nicely on depression since they make your mind focused on something else than emotions. Am i correct or not?
A tornado ran through my town and basically played hop scotch with all of my relatives towns. I could see the tornado from my yard, as could my brother from his yard in the next town, and yet none of us got hurt. The way I feel now is so strange. All of my problems feel so insignificant now and I feel so much more awestruck by everything. Seeing a tornado circling my home is the closest thing I can imagine to how it would feel to see a deity. I looked up how people tend to be affected by surviving natural disasters, but it was mostly about PTSD from loved ones dying. Has anybody else experienced this? Is this normal?
I have now developed myself narcissistic personality disorder due to the need to hold on to something in this world with no objective meaning.
>tfw BPD
I have absolutely no sense of identity, any advice on how to gain one desu?
Hi, I am a 20 year old femcel (almost 21 years old). I met a pretty attractive guy (body 10/10 and face 5/10), he's interesting and I think he's a nice guy. He told me he wants to have sex with me and I really want to experience what it feels like to be in a man's arms, but I don't want my first time to be a casual relationship. I really like him, how can I make him ask me to be his girlfriend? He is 25 and he is not as cocky as other young men.
Rejection
I just got rejected from an aspie I've been crushing on for 2 years because he's "too busy with university to date". I've never confessed to anyone before and he was the first one I felt attracted to enough to make the leap. I am also autistic and this is hitting me real hard. I lost my last will to live and I feel as though I am dropping into a deep depression. He and I are both KHHV so I don't understand why he wouldn't want to date me. He even said I was attractive to him. It feels like god is playing with me. Every time I build my hopes up it comes crashing down. I am trying to hard to find happiness in things other than romance but my mind is set to the thought that starting a family is the point of living so nothing is working. I can't be happy for myself. I need love
This book is giving me feels. Maybe I should post on /media/ but the only book thread there is awful. Anyway this reminds me of In the Mood for Love, a movie that makes me cry just thinking about it. Every time a character says a name or looks at someone in this I experience a physical reaction so strong that I have to stop reading just to catch my breath. Last time I felt that way was with Swann's Way by Proust. I think books are the only way I get to experience emotions most people experience with their own lives. Anyone else knows this feel?
i miss my ex so much. everything feels so weird now. i've had to move back home and i feel so lonely and useless and unworthy. i dont think he will fix himself, and we still are in contact, its just so tough. i should probably get a job or something soon to fill my spare time, im just nervous. i try to fill my time with hobbies, but even that is becoming boring. i dont want to sleep or eat, im just hurting. it hurts not being held by him anymore. he was my first real relationship and im scared ill never have that again (i only would want him, anyway. but he treated me awfully most of the time).
it just sucks. i feel so alone. all of the time in the world to grow and accomplish my goals and im just spending it depressed playing vidya and too sad to motivate myself. i dont want to work but i should just to keep myself busy. ifeel so awful
Is this a toxic relationship?
A little bit of background, my boyfriend and I both recently got out of toxic environments. Me being put in situations where I constantly had to chase and crave for a person’s attention and validation, being made to feel worthless and all. I did took the time to heal and went for therapy and all. My boyfriend on the other hand was used to jumping from relationship to relationships as a mean of escape. He partied alot, drank and messed with alot of girls. Obviously, as he was used to those kind of situation, his behaviour wasn’t ideal but he wanted to change and prove himself.
A few months in, I find myself getting resentful as for me, he was just not capable of understanding basic human decency. I found his liking half-naked girls’ photo, which he apologised for and said he would stop, but he just continue doing it anyway. We planned a virtual date together and he flaked on them at least 3 of them, giving excuses which I am questioning whether they are lies or truth at this point. He would also curse at me casually during our conversations which hurts my feelings.
I was aware of his history of messing around yet, I didn’t know his behaviour goes this far as in the start, he was very sweet and kind. He still is, most of the times but I do end up feeling resent and disrespected. I kept pointing out those behaviours of his and he said that it really hurts his feelings and how hard it is to change. We fought about it. He apologised and asked for chances to prove himself saying he is trying to change and change is hard. He said he would appreciate it if I didn’t turn everything into an argument. In my head, I kinda feel like he isn’t ready to date.
He made it really clear that I do mean alot to him, says that I am important to him. But these little things are making me question everything. I do love him and other for those stupid arguments, we get along well. It is just that as we grow closer, the arguments are getting more and more often and it’s starting to feel like I am his rehab or something. Am I in another toxic relationship or should I give him some time?
My boyfriend of almost a year used tinder to get weed and said I was just projecting my insecurities onto these girls and that he wouldn’t cheat on me with a tinder bitch when he didn’t even tell them he was dating someone (said it’s normal for smokers to use tinder for just weed) . When I tried to say he was leading girls on he said he wasn’t. He only deleted when I agreed that I just didn’t want him to use tinder. Is this normal lol :’)
I want female friends who aren't woke or SJW. Who won't talk all the time about colonialism and transphobia. Who don't mind a bit of dark humor. Who don't BLM/ACAB their whole personality. I also would appreciate if she's into anime, literature, or videogames. Most girl I see online with "nerdy" hobbies seem to seek orbiters and not so much female friendship. Is there any way I can make online female friends who aren't pickme's, deranged, or SJW?
what are the best things about being an adult?
Any of you ladies ever be the first to approach a boy and ask him out? How did it go?
There's a cute boy that I work with and I have been giving him signs that I'm into him (Like biting my lip sometimes when speaking or listening to him.).
I'm not sure if he is just oblivious to my hints or if he plain doesn't like me. Should I just bite the bullet and ask him out first?
I worry I’ll never be ready to have kids
I’m 25, and quite a few of my peers are already mothers. The others talk of this desire to have kids that I just don’t have yet. I did always think I wanted children, and I’m scared of being an old lady with no one to visit me, but I can’t see myself ever wanting to give up living a (kind of) carefree inner city life, doing cool shit and hanging out. Does this change as you get older? Does anyone feel the same? I think maybe I’m just kind of selfish, I don’t really want to give up focusing on myself.
I cannot take my fiance's drinking anymore. He drinks almost every single day. I see him cross-eyed and stumbling more often than not. I've tried everything short of shelling out 14,000 dollars for rehab but I feel like he isn't trying at all and is in denial. He often gets defensive and tries to excuse everything when we discuss the drinking. Every time we're short on money I buy practically nothing to get by, but he'll spend our last 10 dollars on alcohol. I don't know what to fucking do, because if I leave him, it's just me and my deranged family. I'm in college right now and I feel stuck. I'm so fucking tired of it.
ଘ(੭ ^ __^)੭ hello, fellow miners!
- What is a ~~good person~~ in your opinion?
- Are you one? Be honest. If you're not, why? and does that bother you?
- How can someone become a good/better person? What steps do they have to take?
I'm trying to improve myself because I've been frustrated with some of my current ideas, behaviors and inner thoughts.
Dub/Reggae/ska General
Lets start this reggae feels thread with a little lee scratch perry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke6NVMfIhcI
https://youtu.be/S_aQpIRXB7Y?t=906
sister big stuff a classic anthem for all the women out there!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaeRlWs_OFQ
couldnt figure out how to use the youtube direct link for posting more than a single URL, anyone know?
angels, how do i stop going on lolcow? i find i can spend a lot of my free time there (which is a lot currently) when im depressed or avoiding productivity. i dont engage or think any of it is nice but its really interesting and a way to just distract myself from using my brain. and i hate it. i know it isnt good but im not sure how to stop or replace it? i dont want to go on it at all. its so negative. will blocking the website help? i have an internet timer but i just bypass it.
So, I'm pregnant. Now I am a realistic person, and I understand the logical thing for me to do is abort so I don't sink the entire trajectory of both my life and that of the father, but I suddenly have serious reservations about it for very emotional and unrealistic reasons. I need some guidance.
To start with, the father is my best friend. We realised pretty early on we could never co-habitate peacefully, but we are extremely close and very compatible, leading to very sporadic sex. He's caring, supportive and respectful. He's also from a large, very close family and has years of experience raising kids from infancy to adulthood. He's filled to bursting with love, would make an excellent father and absolutely wants kids.
On the downside he's also a very well educated scientist at a very critical juncture in his career. To add onto that, I only last week encouraged a friend to pursue him romantically because they share so much common ground. I also know for a fact that if I told him I was pregnant, he would drop everything to provide for us. We would not make a happy couple actually living together, but he'd put himself through the torture for his baby.
Now for the weird fantastical thinking stuff - I feel like this is destiny. First, he was my first ever real friend who stuck by me during all my worst days. He helped me overcome my social anxiety, was there to scrape me off a park bench at 3AM after binge drinking, then helped me quit drinking and pushed me every day to succeed at uni. He's always been there for me and we've always shared this kind of sixth sense for each other, even though I don't believe in that kind of thing. Second, I'd only just finished debating having children one day, and confirmed it's what I want. Third, when we had sex it was the most romantic and rewarding sexual experience of my life - in a room overlooking the beach at midnight as a storm rolled in off the sea. Even though I absolutely do not believe in the supernatural, it's been screwing with my head that we conceived a child that's meant to be impossible as lightning struck around us - bringing me to my last point. I was told by 3 doctors that I would never conceive children. They were pretty emphatic about that fact and told me it could never happen, and yet this baby survived contraceptives and my inhospitable body to survive.
It's dumb, and I don't believe in it, but I can't help but feel like this baby is meant to be.
Anyone else feel like it's practically illegal to be an edgelord these days? I unabashedly love irreverent, dark shit and I feel like internet culture has done a complete 180 into overly soft goo these days.
Feels like my youth all over again- having to hide in the closet because I am a bit of an edgy retard. It's practically social suicide to be into dark humor these days if it isn't PC. I'm not a totally socially inept weirdo (hide it just fine.) but I freaking love dark themes. I feel like my entire personality in the public/online sphere is fake due to so much fear over being branded a pedo or a ____-phobe or a racist or some shit just because I happened to like some book or something that is "problematic."
Media and games are so weirdly soft these days- I feel like a complete fucking boomer staring a screen where a game is asking me what my "preferred pronouns" are, and warns me with a mile long trigger warning list that practically spoils any horror or adult themed stories. I pretty much only play old games these days, which sucks because women always get the short end of the stick in those due to pornsick moid devs. (I'm not a total stick in the mud, I do have standards.)
Tell me about your unrequited love. Can be platonic, romantic, etc.
I'm thinking of stopping giving a lot to one relationship that I don't think will bloom beyond a friendship due to her being very insecure to show affection back in the way I need. Kind of hard for me to get done though, so I'd like to read others thought processes through theirs and what it's like now for you (if it continued or ended).
>too much self hate to watch a movie with my husbando for coping purposes
How do I solve this ?I feel like even dreaming of a qt bf is delusional and that I don't deserve it and that my husbando would hate me if he new me
How do you deal with being sexually attracted to your friends?
idk if this should go to /nsfw/ but this shit keeps happening to me. i wish i was fwb with him but i'd never initiate smt like that, not to mention that it messes up the friendships… why cant we live in a everyone-has-sex-with-everyone type of happy society like that one monkey species?
Anyone else terrified of becoming exactly like their mother?
>narcissistic personality
>alcohol addiction
>mood stabilizers
I'm terrified
if it's true that this place is all radfems then i'm asking the wrong people… but, hi, how do i get along with normie women? i consider myself a normal woman… i just don't know how to make friends with people i'm not sleeping with anymore. sigh
When was the last time you fell in love anon? What was it like? How did it end?
How do I train my Autism away? My goals are to be able to enter a foreign environment and instantly feel connected to the people there. Like when taking a new job and instantly making friends with my coworkers like any normie woman is seemingly able to do without any problems.
I also don't want to stutter or stumble over my words like a retard. Have basic seduction skills, so I know what to do, when a guy approaches to talk to me. And also maybe some public speaking skills, so I don't embarrass myself, when trying to speak in front of a crowd. I might need that for my career at some point, who knows.
WHY DOES NO ONE LIKE ME TO BE MY FRIEND! I WANT TO FIX THIS!
vent thread
Last thread was >>51005
advice please?
so i finally did it. i made friends. im in a really sweet friend group of 5 other girls, but i’m super scared to fuck it up. it’s been 2 days and it’s going well, but that lingering thought of it all being temporary doesn't leave my mind. this is my path out of hikikomori-dom but i’m too scared to ruin it, so i stay quiet a lot even though that’s the opposite of what i should do if i want to make friends :/ i’ve been ignored for so long that it kinda all feels surreal now
i’ve been feeling so much better and now i walk home like a dumbass with a smile on my face
any advice to stop the autisms from fucking it up? thank u :)
comphet
Thoughts on comphet?
>Compulsory heterosexuality is the idea that heterosexuality is assumed and enforced by a patriarchal and heteronormative society.
Am I a Lesbian? Masterdoc
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1I6qGAzzibnRJFin_c8U2OBm0588M-V0NmfobQnRii44
tfw no infp gf
Anyone else here who only has male friends? In a different thread someone pondered what it would be like to stop all unnecessary contact with men and I replied that I would literally be friendless.
I want to know if anyone else in a similar situation feels like they are losing out on anything. I have always been a tomboy and I had to learn about makeup from youtube channels. I never had any girlfriends to do this with. During my teenage years I was also not treated like a girl by my guy friends. Which sometimes felt bad, when they excluded me from ever being someone they could feel attracted to, when they talked about girls. This only changed in my 20s, which was bad in another way, because it caused some drama and made me downsize my friend circle.
Yandere
Why do i keep fantasizing about people i'll never have. Everything hurts so much and i can't stop thinking about them. I know that im just obsessively infactuated and this wont last but i just want to risk it all for this one person.
opinions on emotional detachment from family
what are your experiences with choosing to have a purely financial relationship with your family?
My goal is to give my family a house and stuff with my work, but even though my parents are sweet and caring we arent really compatible, so i prefer not to show any affection. I spent years without talking to my brother while living on the same house, so i think i can stop talking to my parents as soon as I move out,while still supporting them and paying them back for all the money they spent on me
People testing your patience
What are your ultimate pet peeves?
>eating noises
>being loud, smacking surfaces, high-t behavior
>passive-aggressiveness
>spitting in the street
What are you guilty of?
>always late
>constant allergies = sniffle a lot
>smartass
I’m so tired of being ugly
Looking in the mirror has become a chore. Also, general ugliness vent thread
>mom and dad are arguing again
☽ paracosms
a thread to post about fantasies you have & general 'feels' you wish to experience. . . simply because i'm always interested in reading about people's daydreams! & i'm sure others feel the same way.
Is it true that all men are attracted to underage girls?
Every single guy I have e-dated ended up being into minors and jailbaits and I found evidence of it. The worst part is they all seemed like pretty nice normie guys on the outside, not stereotypical 4chan weirdos or discord groomers.
My boyfriend cussed me out and called me bitch for leaving my wallet at his parents house. No apology yet and there might not even be one. Maybe I deserved it. He said he wasn’t mad at me just disappointed. That adults (I’m 19 he’s 24) don’t just forget their wallet and go oops. That I should have told him the moment I forgot. I was in the middle of carrying something to his car so I just forgot. That I should have figured out a way to get it back the moment I forgot it and not wait till Friday cause I can’t drive and didn’t want to cause a fight with my mom simply asking her to take me to get it. I don’t know how to feel or anything. Been crying for over an hour now
I'll be having my first ever therapy session soon, it's gonna be online given the current circumstance.
I'm both excited and scared, I feel like I'm gonna benefit hugely from therapy because I've been doing nothing all day but engage in escapist behaviour, I've been falling behind in life for 3+ years and I have no one to talk to about it with, I'm scared of being judged and I'm almost certain it will be so hard for me to open up to the therapist but I know that it has to be done, honestly I'm terrified, the thought of talking about myself with no filter is terrifying but this has been a long time coming.
I've been trying to put my life back on track for the past year+ but with no luck, I always relapse and get worse but this week I did some big girl decisions and left myself no way of engaging in destructive behaviour and applied for therapy, I'm tired of being a living corpse, I forgot the last time I lived in the moment or felt a real connection to myself, I lost interest in everything I once enjoyed and I've become a shell of my former self I truly don't know what I believe in or what I like anymore, I'm completely and utterly lost.
Wish me luck anons, and share some tips on how to open up/what to expect if you've been in a similar place.
i think i just triggered my ed again i thought i was doing well becuase ive been eating atleast two meals everyday but i looked at myself long enough and now i know im gonna starve and restrict
i deserve it anyway im disgusting
how do you cope with your boyfriend's female friends.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting seems to be a really common tactic among men to use against women, especially ones who get angry and vent by taking it out on others. Men in my life regularly use manipulative tactics and lie to try and make me feel bad about myself or tell me that things that happen to me are deserved. My boyfriend constantly says edgy shit about women and upsets me and then just calls me sensitive. It happens on 4chan and even on this board. We're told we're crazy for finding certain behaviours and thoughts repulsive, and we're not allowed to criticise them. If we even try doing the same thing to them we get swamped by accusations of being 'crazy'. It's all too much. I'm sick of being painted as crazy or angry for trying to get people to give a shit about my feelings and understand me.
Anyone else have this problem?
Was I being used as time-killer?
I confessed of liking to a guy that is older than I am as I want to know where he are heading. He rejected me by saying that as of now, he doesn't find anyone sexually attractive and I should see him as a friendl
But I felt he deliberately led me on and wrote it off as being friendly. We have only known each other for a few months and he telling me that he loves me, he misses me etc. I put up a boundary saying I don't accept my friends saying those words to me and he agreed.
We also often go out for walks, dinners and lunches and text each other almost daily, which I understand might be platonic so, I let it be.
Soon, he started making lewd jokes often. I feel that my sex life isn't something I am comfortable telling about to a random friend whom I barely know nor should he be casually sharing about it to me.
He also joked about how r*pe is the solution to everything and he tends to overly sexualise whatever statements he can. I felt disgusted by him so, I ended the so called 'friendship' as I felt that collectively , his actions are considered as inappropriate as I repeat, HE said we are just friends.
Now he is complaining publicly that females always either fall for him or always complaining about his 'openness'. That none of them, females, can just be his friend.
I felt bad for abruptly ending the friendship as we did spend alot time before so I asked if the statement was about me and if he wants to talk about it? He just went "nope, not you".
Is it bad if I feel like he wanted to just use me for a boost of his ego and for his benefits, or is that so not the case?
I feel angry with myself for even confessing to him in the first place as rn, I really feel used.
Any advice to avoid feeling like this in the future or words of comfort is really appreciated.
Getting over a guy when you have low self esteem
To preface, I’m an extremely insecure person and tend to become obsessed with guys that make me feel inferior. I’m aware of it and try to act against this quality. I.e., avoiding interacting with said person, investing my energy towards my hobbies, focusing on school, etc. And yeah, I do realize that my feelings, beyond being a bit cringey, are also a bit dramatic and unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
Anyways–I fell really hard for a guy mainly out of attraction to his intelligence/wit. I’m not even sure if I can call it that. He’s just better at logic-oriented things and when he runs circles around me at topics that I’m passionate about, a weird mixture of attraction and envy emerges inside me, but is not really the type of person I would be attracted to otherwise. All that aside, he’s rejected my advances so far and for some reason it genuinely stings (yes I know I sound bitter). I thought it was bullshit to feel scathe just because someone rejects you, but I’ve never felt more inadequate in my life. It feels like every foundation of my self esteem is being hacked away by the lack of reciprocation. All the insecurities that I’ve collected through my life are compounded by this one dude, and he’s not even someone worth feeling slighted by. I’ve started obsessing over things I haven’t given a shit about in years, like my looks, relative intelligence, and race (???).
In the end, I’m not planning on confronting him about this. Yes, I realize this sounds like adolescent bullshit but the self awareness fuels me to want to get over it as quick as possible. Coming home and crying about the fact a guy doesn’t have feelings for you is the most pathetic thing, I hate how emotionally invested I am in someone who, quality-wise, is actually kind of shit. This isn’t said out of frustration, to clarify, I know I keep repeating that this person’s an asshole. He genuinely is: I thought he was irritating at the beginning of when we met (would express offensive, fringe ideologies out loud to people that he barely knew) and only really started to become close to him because we are partnered in class.
Like, I find myself rolling my eyes at the shit he says, he’s the dude you find scrolling his phone on 4chan in the middle of a social event, his personality is awful, so WHYTHE FUCK AM I ATTRACTED TO THIS DUDEplease if there’s any older femanons who understand what I’m going through–being attracted to someone you know you’re not actually attracted to because you’re touch starved and heavily reliant on social validation–some advice would help. I’ve also become sort of a pickme because of this whole thing, which I’m ashamed of the most.
hi there, I'm an awkward girl and always have been and in recent years I glowed up a lot and I'm with a wonderful boyfriend, things have been rocky between us recently and it's got me down about my appearance and my cuteness in general…. I'm very excitable about my interests which I used to be ashamed of but people seem to find that endearing and I get complimented a lot for being small and cute but I want to be cuter and find ways to make my boyfriend blush again after this rough patch…. what can I do anons? he shuts off during hard times and I want to make him weak for me again because that in itself is the cutest to me
….teach me the ways
Guy in a relationship "flirting" with me
Just wanna say that I usually just lurk on here and this is my first time ever actually posting something. I really fucking hope I'm not doing it wrong, I apologise if I am lmfao)
So there's this dude I know who's been in a relationship with this chick for 3 years now,he posts her a lot on his story and they generally seem very happy
We've only recently become friends and he's been showing a lot of interest in me. And by interest I mean constantly replying to my snapchat stories, constantly asking me personal questions, constantly trying to start a conversation. He's even called me a queen several times and joked about sexual shit with me, it's so strange. I'm definitely not in the wrong for thinking this is weird right? I think he's just super over friendly but it's still weird regardless, especially when you consider he's in a literal relationship.
English isn't my main language so please ignore if I made any errors
Bf is ignoring me because he’s going through some severe mental stuff right now. I know he still wants to be with me but it still feels awful. I don’t know what to do or how to live because I am so attached and obsessed, and I feel so horrible after he abandoned me. I love him but I think maybe this is an opportunity to break up even though I love him and work on the issues that make me so fearful of abandonment and so unable to be alone. What do you think I should do anons? I really do love him but I’m terrified of how much I care about him and I think maybe leaving him and focusing on myself would help me in the long run to manage my BPD and other issues.
Being lonely
i'm always lonely, i have social anxiety because i go bullied by subhumans in middle school. I just can't trust people, what if they call me ugly or stupid
I dont have anything and i wanna become something like a demigod because yolo you know
i have some talent in art but not really patience and enough shits given. im in a psych ward now and feel like is this really it? once i get out of here and the meds normalize me will i just get a job and educate myself and get a bf and thats it? all i wanted was something more
Had a dream last night that one of the bubbly and cute girls I sort of knew in HS flirted with me, we were walking down the halls and our arms kind of bumped into each other so she latched arms with me to be playful. Then she flirted with me and sort of suggested she was interested in me. And I was confident and casual when talking to her. Back then I believed I was straight. Urgh
Why does high school hang over people so much? Just want to leave that behind
lockdown rage thread
Share your anger about the virus or the lockdowns
Guys Approaching You
I just feel kinda undecided on this. I'd kinda like to at least be in the presence of a guy for a week or 2 somewhere like Uni class before they approach me for a relationship but even then its
awkward. What are the favourite types of guy approaches the femanons here like?
being alive hurts at this point
>do not enjoy anything i once used to
>neet , whenever i try to escape neetdom my brain disassociates too much to be functional , cant complete adult tasks such as studying
>asked my therapist for help, he isn't helpful , asked my mom to swich him she said i should stick with him
>he suggested i take antidepressants , i don't trust them they never helped me
>friends don't help, 4chan is misogynistic, reddit ignores my posts
everyday i just want to go to sleep because there is nothing to do when awake only feeling the pain of feeling trapped
Being needy
WHY WHY WHY do I have to be so goddamn needy? I hate it. Every time my boyfriend takes more than 0.05 seconds to respond, I get paranoid and I think he hates me and that I'm a stupid bitch. I hate feeling this way but I can't help it. How do I cope with my partner having stuff to do that isn't chatting with me?
I love large dogs, I even consider myself a dog person, but I hate those little yapping ones. Yap yap yap. My neighbor has one and it angrily yaps at me every time I leave or come home from work. I wish they would teach it not to bark at people who are just walking by, that is literally the bare minimum to being a respectable dog owner in an urban area. I would like to give that evolutionary failure a stout kick. Pic related is a based dog and a good boy, not a useless oversized rat.
I want to know what it's like to be loved.
Are you going on dates right now?
Are you touch starved?
If single, do you miss having a genuine connection with someone?
i’m getting obsessed with my ex bff
a few months ago a very close friend of mine decided to cut our friendship (the reason isn’t important for this post but if you must know; it was because i supported jk rowling and apparently that was too bigoted and terfy for her) we were friends for 6 years. i was a hurt and angry at first but i overcame it –at least i thought i did. last month i started to check up on her, stalking her instagram, twitter and goodreads. every time i see her reading a good, classical book i get unreasonably angry because she’s improving herself (i’m not a self concious person myself, and in the terms of success we were always equal but still) and every time i see her tweeting a self deprecation joke i feel victorious because she’s miserable and i’m not. i know these are not healthy and i should stop but i don’t think i want to
How do I know if I should stay with someone long-term? What are the important factors?
My exam is in a week and I'm very stressed
German exam, to be specific. I was watching a video about its speaking skill part and started crying 20 seconds into it. I can't do that, my German sucks and one week isn't enough at all. And I can't even study properly because every time I make a single mistake I become so stressed only thing I can think about is the exam.
happy things ^_^
a nice thread to talk about nice things
i recently got a date, I haven't had a proper dinner date in ages I can't wait, i'm gonna wear a cute dress and hopefully have a really nice night hehe
Parents have a favorite child and it's not me
I think parents overall tend to like their older child better than the younger one overall, and some of them also seem to prefere the male son too.
I'm both the female and the younger child here, and I always felt rejected by my parents. It doesn't help that he's indeed smarter than me and etc.
It's not like they've never sided with me or whatever, but I always felt that they gave more to him than to me. Now, that he's in his 30's and I'm almost there it's not that bad but I still know that when I visit them they would rather to see the face of my brother instead of mine. Does anyone feel the same?
What would you do if you had a boyfriend but you can't stop thinking about some other guy? I see myself having a future with my boyfriend, I don't wanna ruin everything but I can't get the other guy out of my mind.
acne
my acne ruined any chance i had at looking average. it’s all over my body and face, i don’t even feel human when i look at myself anymore, i feel like i look diseased. my best friend has amazing skin and i feel almost embarrassed standing next to her.
>inb4 just wash your face/see a derma/eat healthy/try this random product etc
as if i haven’t tried all of that for years. i’ve had bad skin since i was a preteen and i’m on differin now. i saw some progress but i feel like i’m just stagnating. might just be bad genes since my family has skin issues too.
how do i come to accept myself like this? i hate putting on foundation because it just clogs my pores and my skin still looks bumpy underneath. i was going to post this in /hb/ but it just turned into a rant, so..
no love no life
>the only guy who has ever flirted with me is a fuccboi
I'm autistic but him larping "babe" with me has awakened this deep, void in me that yearns for love
>tfw he isn't serious
I told him that I liked him and he didn't respond when I asked if he would consider going out with me
>I'm so ugly and my voice is so deep and I'm old and I don't have any accomplishments
I'm so sad that I keep crying. I want to block him because he doesn't actually like me more than just a friend, but at the same time, he's the only person to have flirted with me. Why am I so pathetic
>why am I everyone's sister but noone's gf
NEET Feels and Vent General
Vent about being NEET and discuss your plans to escape neetdom, if applicable.
Gritty.
How to cope with extreme loneliness? I have zero (0) friends in real life because of my autism. I try to speak to people on the internet but they're always so rude and vulgar. I feel that the last friend I had was my brother but he is also very mentally ill now so I can't really approach him anymore.
Virgin Thread
I always feel so alone because it feels as though EVERY woman has had some sort of romantic, or sexual experience. And here I am with nothing, a pathetic adult female KHHV. I feel so alone and as though my time is running out. My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.
Letting go of childhood toys
What did you do with your childhood toys as you grew up and moved away?
I'm no contact with my parents but my sister told me that I need to come back and clear out all my toys saved at my parent's house. I've been trying to find a way to decide which ones to keep and which ones to let go of.
I live abroad so I can only take a handful of them home with me, though I think I might feel a bit silly doing that since I haven't looked at them in years. I know they're not real but I feel guilty at the thought of having to pick which ones to keep and which ones to go onto a fate unknown, especially for ones part of collections.
I didn't have many friends growing up so I think I was maybe more attached to them than other kids. My parents pressured me to let them get rid of some before and I still feel bad about it.
Slowly you come to realise
You can't change the world. You can only change yourself. Judging other human beings is the path to self-destruction.
I dont particularly see myself as an ugly woman, maybe something like a 6 or 7 (makeup), Other than that I'm also a 20yo KHHV
So, while i was walking back to my dorm after class this cute guy (i'd give him a 6.5 or 7) comes upto me and says "Hey i think youre cute so i thought I'd come talk to you"
I didnt know how to react to this , no one has ever said this to me let alone approaching me out of nowhere, I didn't know how to react ,i said thanks and kept walking but now i cant stop thinking about our marriage and the babies we would have together
and now i'm beating myself over for not continuing to talk to him and what could have led to something
How would you feel if some 6 or 7/10 guy came upto you and called you cute ? What was your experience ?
Vent thread
Last thread was >>49241
Advice about friend
I have a best friend and he was sending me some emojis and nothing else. After I didn’t reply to his fourth emoji, the chat ended. I later told him not to initiate chats with me unless he wants to have a conversation. I haven’t heard from him in four days. We usually chat everyday. I don’t want to contact him first. Is it over?
Social dissatisfaction
I feel like I'm invisible. Nobody cares about the subject matters I talk about. Nobody sees me. Everybody dismisses me or makes fun of the shit I talk about.
Even if it's subtle, it's noticeable. Most prominently with men (as always). It's due to a shitty social circle, but I'm fucking trapped. Caged in. Feels great when you're trying to talk about something you're passionate about and all you get in return is some stupid dismissive thing by replacing some words with stupid shit like "bruh".
This sounds like a dumbass boomer rant, but I'm so fucking tired of this irony culture and detachment from the world everyone has built up. I'm tired of the alienation. I'm tired of being dismissed as eccentric.
Even my female friends just joke about shit, because "xD mental illness". Like sure it was funny to say that liking some shit too much is a mental illness initially, but when you just use it to dismiss what I'm trying to talk to you about, it gets to me. Just tell me you don't care.
I don't want to fall into some sort of stupid "I'm not like the others" mentality. I'm tired of being a social reject. I'm tired of being a foreigner.
Making friends online is hard for me. I am too paranoid.
I'm so lost. My motivation to do anything is gone. I don't see the point in learning anything anymore.
I want to isolate. Rip it all apart. I don't like anybody. I don't feel an attachment to the material. Everything is cold.
What do I even do?
I have taken the easy way out and have decided that collectively hating people as a whole can help me avoid the pain of ostracization and inevitably being hurt by people.
I am autistic and I have incredibly low social intelligence. I can't be able to pick up the most miniscule social cues. I can't read faces and I can't judge what people are thinking by their facial expression alone. That's why I always end up being outcasted. A person can seem so nice to me one day but then by the next day they're at a distance with a group of friends pointing at me and laughing.
I can't take it anymore and it just makes me want to crawl into a dark space and rot there for the rest of my life.
Neurotypical people have it so easy. They can pick up those damned social cues navigate through life with no trouble.
Unable to care for pets
Is anyone else just unable to properly care for their pets? I ended up giving my cat away to my parents because I just couldn't handle feeding her and changing the litter box. I feel like I don't have enough empathy or something to understand why I NEED to do it. One of my pets that I got only a few weeks ago died (it was a bug) and I feel so horrible. It was really rare and I tried to feed it and give it water but I just couldn't do it.
I have friends with a lot of pets who get so much joy from caring for them and spoil them .. why can't that be me?
College/Uni feels
Share the good, the bad, and hell of pursuing a degree. Whether it be living in a dorm with a horrible roommate, classes kicking your ass, or something happening relating to school that has filled you with joy.
Can it just stay winter all year long? I hate the heat, it makes my head hurt. The bugs and ticks come out. I have to have my air conditioning on and it makes it hard to hear my music or stuff I'm watching without turning it up loud enough to annoy my neighbors. It is hard to sleep and I get restless. Why does anyone enjoy this garbage time of year
kms
what do u do when the only thing you look forward is killing yourself?
everything else is just painful to think about, suicidal thoughts are my only comfort.
Dating general
Continuing from >>>29416
How do I become a nomad? I hate my life and need to get away. I thought about suicide for a long time but I realize what I really want is to be happy. What is the best way? Is there a nomadic job I could get? Do I save money and buy an RV?
Seducing guys as a fat girl
Any advice? Even when I'm asking them out they seem to be unsure or just plain not wanting to go out on dates
The strength of men scares me
I am a caddy for my part time job (best job for an unskilled highschooler or university student btw). There is this cute guy there I have a crush on, but he seems quite shy and just likes to read his book while waiting for a golfer. The few times we’ve talked he seems quite pleasant.
I’ve always known men were stronger than us, but it’s another thing to see it in person. I’ve noticed that when he caddies, he carries the entire golf bag with one arm by the handle up and out to his side, kind of like the pose when flexing your bicep, and he fucking SPRINTS with it. He runs ahead on each hole to see where the ball lands, and he runs significantly faster than the golf carts.
He doesn’t even look like some sort of muscle beast from /fit/. He’s just a tall, thin, toned guy who might lift a few times a week. He could probably kill me with a single punch, and then follow up with 80 more without running out of breath. I would probably have a panic attack if we got in an argument and he got angry and started shouting. I don’t even know how you could have an equal relationship with someone when the difference in power is so immense. They say it’s borderline rape when a CEO fucks an intern due to the difference in power, but what about physical power?
I was already a little afraid of men’s predatory instincts and behavior, but to see it reinforced that whenever I’m around men I’m only alive because they permit it freaks me out. How do you cope with this?
Cant fucking sleep
For weeks now I can't stay asleep. I went to my doctor but she gave me some bullshit about it being my meds when I hadn't changed my meds and after adjusting them the way she wanted it still didn't help. I changed literally nothing about my life, I moved my tv out of my room and am taking melatonin. I still go on my phone before bed but 1) that's my alarm 2) who fucking doesn't? I used to fall asleep to the tv and sleep through the night. Help girls.. I'm going crazy.
Birthday Thread
Are your birthdays sad and lonely? Are they happy and with friends? In this thread we tell how we spend our birthdays.
Friend groups
I have friends, but I don't have any friend group.
I haven't since the first year of uni, and even then, it wasn't really serious.
Here I always see people talking about their friend groups, like they'e hanging out in packs. it seems really wieird to me, since I hang out with 2 friends at the same time at most, except during parties.
Most of my friends have divergent interests, mindsets, political opinions, or are in bad terms.
Am I the only one in that situation ? Is it weird ? How do you get along with so many people at once ?
How do you deal with potential drama in friend groups ? I'm asking because most people in their 20s I know have had their friend groups collapse because of petty drama.
How to handle Tumblr/Twitterflakes in friend circles?
I miss my old friend and I want to talk to her more but she hangs out only with her FGO friend circle which is…Rather a questionable one. It has only two types of people:
- People who genuinely believe in millions of Tumblr-created, made up sexualities and shit like unicorn gender, because they think that English-speaking internet is cool and elite.
- Fujos or FGO coomers. I remember one of them tried asking me to have a threesome with him and the other girl.
The thing is, I am highly desperate for a friend circle or a group that speaks my native language (because I started forgetting it) and I just miss my friend, even though we don't speak too much anymore. The reasoning why we barely speak is because the first type of people made her feel convinced that she can use her Bipolar Syndrome as an excuse for anything she does. They also encouraged her dropping out of her university and sitting on her mother's neck at home, they all are convinced that they will become rich off drawing on the internet. It honestly hurts me how she tries ruining her life, but there's nothing much I can do. I still miss her.
I do not know if I really should trying getting into her circle because I can't stand tumblrflakes if they are super radical about their shit (I do not give a fuck if someone labels themselves as anything, but when they convince people and brainwash them onto their ideologies and put labels onto everything, I can't stand it) but I do not know where else to go and I'd feel more comfortable being around someone I know.
Has it happened to you?
I can't take being fat anymore. I gained about 40 pounds a few years ago, was already overweight before. I hate living like this. I'm so disgusted with myself. My body doesn't feel like my own, I look in the mirror and I see something that doesn't look like me. I want to lose about 60 pounds and it feels fucking impossible. I want to hide from everyone. I feel like the only people who will love me are sick fetishists. I've been trying for 2 years straight and I've only lost 10 pounds. I'm starting to believe that keeping weight off is actually impossible like all the studies say.
Sorry this is a ramble, I just hate being in this body and I can't take it anymore. How can I lose weight? Does anyone else struggle with this? I don't want an eating disorder, if I gave it up I'd just gain back more.
My absolute best internet friend of 5 years has semi-regular panic attacks because of their shit living conditions, and I don't know the proper way to make them feel even slightly better since i've never had a panic attack myself.
So to those who have them, what could someone do to make you feel better?
I've never been good at consoling people in a way that doesn't sound fake or condesending to my own ears, but i'm willing to try almost anything to help him since he's done so much for me.
You will never have a bf
>who doesn't watch porn
>who doesn't have at least some harmful fetishes like anal or worse
>who takes brushing his teeth and hygiene seriously
>who has goals in life
>and who has the basic discipline to work on them
>who has the finances to support a potential family
>who is emotionally available
>who will take an active interest in you and actively plans things for your relationship
>and who is taller than you, at least somewhat handsome and has a healthy body and lifestyle
Never ever!
Misunderstood Him Asking Me Out
There is this guy I've been talking to casually at work (very recent) and out of the blue, he asked me if I wanted to hang out with him. I dodged the question. We chatted for a while and I forgot to reply to him and apparently he was waiting for me and he's like so how are you going to make it up to me? He would also constantly reply to every single status of mine.
I felt like he was being flirtaous and I thought he was asking me out for a date or something earlier and I said "I barely know you. It's too fast. Maybe somewhen in the future?". He then was visibly confused and asked me back "wtf, what? You must be mistaken. I didn't mean it in that way,".
It's something small but I feel really embarrassed. It kinda reinforce the idea that no one really wants me as I do have a history of toxic dating and very few confessions from guys.
Any advice or words of comfort would be appreciated.
How do I subtly get people to do this for me?
Goals
Do you have goals? Everyone I know has these "goals" they must achieve in their lives before a certain age, while I don't even understand the rationale behind it. I mean, I'm content with watch life just passing by and do things as they come.
Weird relationship
I’ve never been comfortable with my nudity because of my prime intimate relationship bc dude used me. And so it was hard for me to open up to anyone until last summer when I had my first time. We were really close to each other and I got attached. In January he broke up with me but we still have contact. However, it’s really toxic. I think I just still can’t get over the fact that he doesn’t love me anymore and the only solution my stupid brain sees is that he magically loves me again. We’re arguing almost everyday, sometimes I make anger him just like that. My behavior is more fucked up day after day. Since the breakup I’m so numb and I can’t say to move on. What should I do with him? Is it even rational to keep in touch after breakup?
long term bf failing school
I have no clue what to do. I’m with my boyfriend of several years who is now failing academically. Hasn’t shown up to class since the first day in August. He was in a severe depression, and by the time he snapped out of it, he re entered when seeing how much there was to catch up on. He hasn’t done hardly one assignment. He’s planning on dropping out even though he graduates in one more year and I have no idea what to do with him. We’ve been together since we were teenagers and I’m getting so much secondhand stress. I love him so much but I don’t know how he’s going to get a job if he can’t graduate, let alone hold one down and actually manage to make a career with stable income. We’ve seriously discussed marriage after graduation and I have tried everything in my power to help him. He just isn’t receptive whatsoever. Every time he’s motivated again he loses it and gets very angry at the thought of even being expected to do school. He talks about killing himself if he has to do school, which is always an empty threat. (He is a devout Christian and suicide is deeply antithetical to his views.)
I know I sound presumptuous saying he won’t kill himself, etc, but I’ve been in this situation since August and know it better than I can describe. What the fuck do I do? My hair is falling out. He constantly compares himself to me even though I’m barely keeping my grades together now. He is really considering dropping out and being homeless after committing to me for years, committing to himself, and saying he wants to marry me. What the fuck do I do????
im such a weirdo but this girl i have admired on tumblr for maybe 4 years (i have kind of followed up on her life on and off as i used tumblr a bit) her boyfriend has followed me and been liking my posts and interacting with me and i feel so honored! i know its quite dorky but the boyfriend of girl i look up to finds me cool enough to speak to? so lovely.
ITT all of us who wasted their lives because we didn't think we'd survive our twenties anyway and are now trapped in a hollow existence where our supposed "best years" are gone and it feels too late to start over so we're just trekking on until we either die or realize we could have turned things around 10 years ago if we started around the time we posted in this thread
Sister thread: >>>/feels/36
I'll start:
>30
>shit childhood
>academically promising but ADHD and mental health went unchecked because of my insane family situation
>only job experience is entry level shit, only worked for 3-4 years total
>never learned social skills, can't blend in
>didn't pay anything into retirement fund as you're required to in my country
>never thought i'd live past 25 (not just because I'm a depressed loser but also because of physical illness) and now deal with daily existential crises about my age and lack of potential
I don't want to sound like some normie but I really regret not getting better job prospects so that even in the time I wasn't able to work due to illness I could have at least had passive income.
I have intimacy issues and can't make a relationship work for longer than 2.5 years, I just shield myself off and get cold.
art feel
idk if it is because i am depressed but my already bad art is getting somehow worse ,which since drawing is the only thing i like doing (i wish i could become an illustrator)is making me suicidal
You can’t be a femcel if you have a normal spine.
has ANYONE here cured their autism? And how? thank xoxo
text
Do any of you have good males in your lives that aren't family or partners? Like just friends. I'm a little frustrated because I've only had one guy who didn't try to make a move on me and he was good to me.
How to cope with aging?
Trouble making friends
Anyone else has trouble finding friends, in real life and online?
I want a female friend, I truly do, but I find myself unable to. My politicals views, in all honestly, a turn off for most women. I'm not a BLM/ACAB SJW type of girl, and I'm not the "right" type of feminist (oh no, she's a terf.)
I don't use social media, nor do I go to the the places where you could find women around my age (clubs/pubs, sports teams, college.) Which leaves me the online world as my only option to find female friends. I'm not in fandoms and I don't use social media. I tried going on 4chan, and other male-dominated spaces (not the smartest choice if what you want is finding a girl friend, an actual adult female.)
Where should I go? What should I do? Should I hide my views? My hobbies include literature and art which are, on my opinion, feminine hobbies. Is there any female community with people who share those interests I'm not aware of?
anyone else hearing from colleges rn? + happy news
After getting rejected/waitlisted from all the colleges I applied to, I got accepted into the last college I was hearing from. Yes, I know this is kind of indicative of poor decision making on my part, but honestly, I’ve never felt more relieved in my life.
i just started my first day of fulltime work at a factory its temporary i plan to quit at the middle or end of summer but god its terrible and strict and i get one small break and cant listen to music while i work but i just want some money so i will suck it up until i can do online classes again
ive signed up to therapy after experiencing assault, i'm sceptical about wherever it will work or not but it is my final option really, can someone with experience please tell me what to expect? honestly i just want a hug
After-Death Plans
What do you want to happen after you die? Do you want to be embalmed or not? Cremated? What do you want your funeral and burial to be like?
B&J’s
Before the crying is done, you have to pick one.
I choose New York Super Fudge Chunk, paired with a Bergman film.
anyone else?
Post a question to ask if anyone else feels the same way.
MNE: Is anyone else generally a bitch off of CC because they just think of others as normalfags and do not really care abut their bullshit in general?
I know this is wrong but I cannot really empathize with normalfags I do not wish ill on them I just cannot care about their problems but when I read a Cafe poster share about some problem even if minor it hits me emotionally.
i just want to kill myself at this point. my boyfriend is always belittling me, yelling at me, and making me cry. he only loves me on his time. i got my period last night and woke up today feeling sick and dizzy and asked him to help and he said he isnt a doctor and started yelling at me which made me bawl crying. he said im an annoying childish bitch and should go to the hospital and he said im gaslighting him and started mocking me and recording me…but i just feel like having a break down because of how he treats me. i told him the way he treats me makes me suicidal because i just want it to end and i told his mother if she knew what i can do, meds or what not, because my boyfriend isnt being helpful (she lives near us and helps often) but the. quickly told her nevermind that i need to just go home to get away from this.
he says i shouldnt have involved her and i know i shouldnt have but i dont know who else to tell or talk to. i have nobody and whenever he acts changed or like he loves me this happens again. i have no family here and i start a new job monday and no way to support myself. i dont want to just abandon the job or my kittens and im so lost. is killing myself the only way out? or is it my fault and i just should leave for good to rid him of me? ive tried to be a good girlfriend. i clean, take care of our pets, buy him things he needs when hes tight with money, etc. but i dont know what ive done to deserve this. i dont mean to be sensitive but im feeling really ill and i just asked if he could help me or get me medicine. i feel like im at a breaking point and want to kill myself just to escape this. but then i guess that makes me crazy or something. i just want to be happy but how can icfucking do that please im just so sick of this i just wanted medicine and a hug or kiss
Every single one of you is Beautiful
Yeah. Even you
In your life there is at least 5 people who care about you.
Talk to men, get active in hobbies, and take care of yourselves. Drink plenty of water. I want to see every single one of you succeed. You can do it. I know you can. You know it, too.
Godspeed, anons. We're all gonna make it.
living with STD
Around 3 months ago I caught genital herpes, and my mental health has just deteriorated. I'm legitimately terrified of dying alone.
Anyone else in the same boat? Coping tips? Whatever??
/asdgen/ - Autism Spectrum Disorder general
How many cafe goers are on the spectrum? Autism presents itself differently in women and is heavily underdiagnosed and/or misdiagnosed among women. Share your experiences, thoughts, or feelings about your experience with autism in this general.
I am a literal autist, I was diagnosed with it by two separate pediatricians. Most people treat me like dog shit because they can tell that something is off about me, so to higher-functioning spergs or those who have known spergs: how do I make being a sperglady less obvious?
I'm a flat-chested girl and i hate hucows!!
stupid questions
is it possible to be bipolar with ‘low’ mania or is that just standard depression?
is this a valid fear or am i overreacting ?
at middle school one of my bullies would whenever i wore a skirt grab and "raise" it behind my back .
i now want to start wearing middle length skirts again(with short legging underneath) but i am afraid of getting sexually harassed
is this a valid fear or am i overreacting ?
for context i live in a eastern eu non slavic country, and in a part of town where mostly foreigners/immigrants stay but have never been harassed/catcalled there
feels webm thread?
I romanticize being fucked up/mentally ill so much it's going to kill me.
Why do I want to be like that? I know it's a painful existence and I know I would be suffering if I were like that. I know when I finally go back to dorming it will all go downhill. I want to be fucked. I want someone to have a reason to care. I feel so boring. So bored. I know I can't control myself.
Does anyone else feel this way? Why? please don't JUST flame me in the replies here.
He’s showing signs but I don’t know
So there is this guy in college who is really cute and he’s actually pretty sweet and I think I’m falling for him.
We met at the library because he sat at the same table as me, and he start the conversation and we just talked about life and what we did before college and stuff, I gave him my number and we started just hanging out in the library often or facetime.
Now the thing is he is on our colleges basketball team (D1) so I highly doubt that I am the only girl that he is taking to. I’ve never dated before. Should I just go for it and tell him my feelings? I really don’t know
There's something wrong with me
Just found out about BPD and I'm terrified how it just explains why I am the way I am to the t. Coincidentally enough I was about to seek out for therapy for the first time in my life. If my soon to be therapist dares to imply that I have it I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
>Also just realized that that sounds so fucking borderline haha haha wtf…
Wearing your heart on your sleeve
Is it better to hide your emotions/feeling or let them all out? (I mean not to cry in front of other people, hiding your hate or dislike towards some people etc.) I know it depends on the situation, but what do you think in general? Is it worth the relief of being open or is it foolish?
About to have a breakdown
i touch myself thinking about spoiling my boyfriend with romantic gestures.
is this weird
Vent
What's the point of telling a therapist about my childhood rape?
What's the point when it happened, nobody stopped it and the damage is done. What's the purpose of me telling some stranger that doesn't know me or care about me about my childhood? They could careless, humans are instinctively narcissistic and selfish. Why would my therapist even care about something that happened to me a long time ago??? How can anyone else care when my own family didn't?
How would anyone else bother caring when my own parents didn't? The world and myself are a huge disappointment What is my therapist going to do for me to "make it all better"?
It's sad when you know nothing and nobody can fix you (me) This is the realization I knew I would come to if I were to seek therapy. I can't be helped, I should just drink myself to death like I've been begging to do
How do you stop being stuck in the past? I'm ready to move on with my life but I don't know how.
Last night I dreamt of my crush. I was sitting in a restaurant and they just walked in; then I immediately woke up in the middle of the night.
I want to get a boob job
I also want to get a surgery to increase my height because I am 4' 11'', I cannot have tall and handsome boyfriends.
Am being ignored by my friend after her stream.
I Somehow caught covid and have been laying in bed while having anxiety attacks. It's hard to move at all.
Soul crushed after my LDR bf (almost) broke up with me. He broke up because I lied few times that I'll fly to visit him but never did. I was also really insecure and constantly was asking if he really likes me. Now he found some girl in real life and he's really happy with her. I'm still shut-in loser.
It's been a year and I still can't move on
What to do?
how do i stop being a pussy and live the life i wish for?
>just turned 20
>cant drive (only permit)
>moved in with bf across country in summer
>neet (but waiting to hear back about interview)
>chubby (gained some weight)
i feel so pathetic. all i do lately is spend my days cuddling with my bf (he works nights) and even my hobbies have been hard to indulge in. while im hoping the job i should get pulls me out of the rut, i worry it would make me worse since its fulltime factory stuff (and with past experience i know it can be soulsucking…) i plan to attend college in the fall but fuck i dont know.
all i have right now are my goals. i used to envision myself with an online shop and small internet following…posting art, doing so many things every day.
im not suicidal and i want to do these things but i hold myself back. i feel like im not good enough and i just repeat the cycle of being overwhelmed and making no progress. i want to make my dreams come true, i dont want to be stuck at some pathetic job. ive considered onlyfans or something. i just keep seeing so much social media of happy unique girls, seeing people put out more than i do in the world.
all because im too overwhelmed and insecure to do it. i dont know where to start or how to plan it. i just dont want to be a failure.
How to stop being love deprived.
My mom never really showed me love. My parents are divorced and growing up I didn't really talk to my father. (We just started being kinda close recently). The fact is that I'm just searching for love too much and all my friends are from a good growing-up place and I don't want them to feel overwhelmed by my need for love.
They're treating me very nice and I'm super lucky to have them but I guess it's just not enough.
How do I stop being love deprived, needy and be normal?
i found a secret i can eat whatever i want and drunk a fuckton of alcohol and if i feel bad i just throw it up
Pretty sure my friend hates me now.
It feels like nothing I do will ever be good enough. I've already given up my soul.
Anyone ever done onlyfans stuff? Is it better than having normal jobs
Best advice for getting yourself unstuck?
>20
>works 40 hrs a week at a shitty job only making $10 an hour
>can't afford a car. only recently got permit & since i'm under 21 I have to wait til june to be able to drive legally anyways
>lives with mom
I know it's becoming more common (at least I assume) to stay at home longer than just leaving the nest at 18, but as more and more time progresses I feel like I'm stuck and can't ever leave. I barely make enough for the rent my mom makes me pay, plus the internet & other bills. Just feels like anytime I catch up I'm right back where I started the next month. Idk this is turning into more of a vent post than an advice post, but if you're in a similar situation or have gotten out of one I'd love to hear how you did it.
body focused repetitive behavior
any others here who have this? I hate it.
I basically have had a compulsion to pick at/rip off my fingernails since I was little. I pick at my skin a little bit but it's mostly the nails.
most of my nails right now are literally 2/3 gone. at my worst I was able to pick at them until there was actually no nail left. none. it sounds insane but it's normal to me.
it's like an itch that never goes away, and it's worse when I'm nervous. people have noticed and ask why I do it and it's like…i just have to. I don't want to do this. I would stop if I could.
Is it wacky if i think i have simultaneusly both add, bipolar and bpd heh
>cant stop thinking about ed thoughts again
kill me also i aint recovering until i get to a 17 or lower bmi
what's the dumbest thing a s/o has gotten jealous about?
>ill go first
bf got mad I was streaming & looking at /cm/ and called this random character I knew nothing about hot
Advice Needed
I have a knack for keeping toxic friends but I am working more on it thus, I am here for comfirmation if what I am doing is right.
I am recently friends with this guy, let's call him A. Out of blue, he starts putting space between us and when I directly ask him like "hey, are you okay? I've noticed we haven't been communicating as much," he just told me that he likes to sleep and I should go meditate. This happened for about a month, him just giving curt answers as such whenever I reach out. Once, I asked him if he is okay and he called me emotional for being concerned about him. The thing that makes me confused is that now, he is acting all friendly like everything is fine.
I struggled with abusive relationship and tho I am out of it, I tend to still talk about my abuser from time to time. Last time I spoke to him, he made a remark under his breath saying "not this guy, again,". That made me feel hurt and ashamed.
Other than that, I'll say he is a pretty nice friend. We have similar interests and I could ask him from help. I kinda felt like it is basic human decency to not act as such, so should those issues be addressed or would it be right for me to just drop him?
No family
Does anyone else have no family? I’m no contact with my parents, very low contact with my sister, never met anyone on my dad’s side, and only met my mum’s family a few times (the last being at a funeral 10 years ago) as she’s estranged from her family, meaning I am too by extension.
I’m always jealous of people who have cousins, they seem like built in friends. I can’t imagine how nice it must be to have grandparents or aunts and uncles that you can visit and bond with. My parents didn’t even have any family friends to substitute as aunties and uncles.
Not only that, but everyone always just assumes you have a family and that you get on. I’m often stuck between lying or making things uncomfortable by trying to explain.
It also feels like I have no safety net in life. I don’t have any close friends (and can’t make any for various reasons) so if I broke up with my bf I’d be completely alone in the world.
Story time
>Be me
>One of the lonely gfd anons
>Work full time at a family owned donut shop
>Gather all the unbought pastries at the end of the workday to transport to a nearby homeless shelter
>Begin walking with them outside
>Hear someone whistling what I think is Claire De Lune
>See a thin boy, looks around 19
>He has pretty green eyes and gorgeous orange fluffy hair with light streaks of blonde sprinkled about his cute little curled ends that go down all the way to the center of his chest
>He's 5'4''
>I put my hands to my mouth and let out, to say the very least, a not at all subtle gasp
>Drop all my pasted beauties in the process
>Create the kind of abstract art piece that would make Pollock proud, all over the sidewalk
>shit.jpg
lonely
when im obligated to spend time with other girls (doesn't happen often but sometimes it comes up) i end up leaving feeling worse about myself. a part of me wishes i was like them because everything just comes so easily for them and i'm jealous but at the same time i hate them for being so stupid and so shallow. i often freeze up around them because i don't know what they're talking about and i end up saying responses that don't make sense. even just stupid things like the way i hold my fork or order a drink weirdly or they try to lend something to me but i don't want it and they keep insisting and i say no over and over and then finally im weird or offensive cuz i don't want to borrow a movie or sweater. they tease me and it's always "in good spirit" or they're "joking" and i always try to laugh like it doesn't hurt me because i don't want to give them the validation that they can do that. but it does hurt a lot and makes me feel like i'm broken or something. im under the microscope when im around them and dont know why because they act more retarded than me all the time they're just "loud" about it or something idk. when i'm honest with them i offend them and because they're people i'm sometimes obligated to spend periods of time with so instead i end up just keeping all my thoughts inside and laugh when i feel humiliated. it's all tik tok and doja cat and "love island" that doesn't even matter and i feel so stupid all the time next to them because i don't know anything about it. i am afraid of men and haven't felt a deep irl connection with anyone ever. maybe once but that's all. im so fake around ppl and let people walk over me all the time when, i am afraid to be back in public now because i've experienced life not faking it and i can't go back to being around them regularly even if it's rare.
I found out recently that my niece was sexually abused by a female friend of hers.
How could I approach her on this? Is it my place to do so?
Intrusive thoughts
Does anyone else struggle with thoughts they don't want to have? In my experience, when I have fragile things in my hands, I sometimes start thinking about how awful it'd be if I dropped them. Then I start to feel guilty and anxious, as if it actually happened. I have an overactive imagination in the worst possible way.
There are also times when I get mental flashbacks to shock images, and they put me off whatever I'm doing until I can make them fade out. I feel like I have some kind of sadistic NSA agent in my brain that likes to flip switches to make me suffer. Please tell me I'm not alone.
anons i have no idea what to do. i'm supposed to start college this year after taking a year long gap year. but i really don't want to go to college, i don't want to spend time in college for so long since with my career path i have to go to grad school. but i don't want to let down my family since i'd be the first of my maternal grandmother's grandchildren children to actually go to college. i also don't want to be poor. i was considering becoming a flight attendant. i'm still definitely going for school for now but do any of you have any good job recommendations or just some motivation to stay college thanks
Why is roleplaying and fanfiction weird but fanart isn't?
If you write a story about Harry Potter becomes the president of the united states, or roleplay it, you're some freak. If you draw the same thing it's suddenly funny and interesting. Why are people so dismissive of writing as an artform just because it involves someone else's characters?
I swear if you collaborated on a fan comic and it was drawn well, you could show it to everybody, but again, writing and roleplaying is just dismissed.
Got ghosted by my only close friend
Haven't been able to do much besides lay in bed and cry.
How did you guys cope with losing friends?
i been playing shovel knight and its just so hard and not relaxing but i have to finish it because i had ASD even though im having a break down trying to beat it
basically what happened is im on the last level/area the castle and i just finished beating the first section
then i jump while swinging my shovel because im raging and i discover you can smash the check point globes to gain crystals!
wow lucky me and angry me i thought! i should have known this earlier in the game i missed so much gold! so i rage! then i go on and die
well then i find out if you smash the globes you dont go back to them when you die you start all the way back to the beginning
i raged so hard i went on instincts and tried to bite my wireless controllers cable like i did in the old days of gaming and bit my tongue so hard it started bleeding
then i just laid in bed screaming into my pillow alternating crying and laughing at my life until now
How to figure out what you truly want
Recently my ex has come back into my life and wants to get back together with me and I’m not sure if that’s what I want. All my friends say it’s a terrible idea and my family said they’d support whatever I want, but I don’t really know what it is that I want. I feel like I split my feelings into two sides of myself and it’s so confusing and overwhelming. I just wish someone could answer for me so I wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. It also doesn’t help that I’m still hopelessly in love with them and feel like I won’t get anyone better than them in the future. Really sucks
Guys please help me…
After quarantine and getting a boyfriend I can't handle being with most of my friends anymore. I dunno why. I'm fine with being with my best friends (1 is a guy and 1 is a girl) who I talk to multiple times a day but when I go outside with other people I feel this really uncomfortable and cold feeling. I tried ignoring it, blaming my problem on quarantine but it's not getting any better. Everyone feels so cold for some reason, everyone moves out of people so fast for some reason, everyone is so cold to one another, I feel so bad it's fucking messing with my head. I used to really not care how other people lived their life but now if they're somehow different and more edgy than me I just don't want them to be on my life, I hate this since when did I become so picky. Normies freak me out and I don't even want to talk to them, Edgy e-girls make me sick, Stacies are making me uncomfortable and insecure about my relationship, grown-ups are making me feel despair (I'm 19). Why is this fucking happening?
Vent thread
last thread was >>46828
Anyone feels sadness and feelings in general too much?
I feel sadness in my stomach so much it's so painful I don't know what to do…
I just started feeling feelings like a year or two and every month my feelings keep being more extreme.
I'm so tired of this pain in my stomach everyday.
Advice for someone looking into dating other girls
I've gone on a date recently with another girl, she's adorable and we have a good amount in common and I can see myself dating her. But I have no idea what the protocol or how exactly courting a girl would work, I'm also really worried that we'll eventually reach some hurdle that a girl/girl couple would struggle to get over. I'm also really worried that when you're dating a woman and you're walking home at night you won't be as safe with another woman than you would be a man, I like this girl but I really am worried of the difficulties that may arise from it.
Coming out
Me and another girl are on the cusp of going out, when we finally start dating I don't want to have to hide my relationship with her from my mum if we end up being together long term
How should I come out to my mum? She would likely be a bit surprised as I've only dated guys before but I think she'd be accepting for the most part
I'm worried she'll ask me questions about when I realised and stuff and I don't really want to talk about that or make things awkward, what should I do?
>My biggest crush turns out to be vegan
I keep falling further in love with him as usual.
Does anyone else, every once in a while, just go on 4chan and give way too much information about yourself and bait the men there into insulting you? It's addicting, I adore it and hate at the same time.
Especially I like letting them know I'm a woman, a vulnerable and insecure girl, which in most ways, I am. But it makes them take it to a whole other level of distain and hatred for my existence.
I've heard some psychologists (who should not be trusted btw) call this sort of behavior "digital self harm" wherein someone uses a stock account to abuse themselves on social media, or more common in people with neurology developed beyond the degree of a 13 year old, where people deliberately seek out communities they know will degrade them.
But it doesn't feel like self harm. I used to actually self harm and I don't know, it felt a lot more similar to a poisonous version of the emotional release I get from impact play during sex (although obviously not erotic and more steeped in sadness).
It feels like I'm being proven right. I honestly can't tell how I look, but I generally operate under the assumption I'm a 4-5/10 in terms of appearance. Most people are average, it seems like a fair assumption. But I would much rather be right about my ugliness than wrong about my attractiveness. I would prefer being proven right to almost any alternative.
These spirals of external self-loathing are confirmations of safety I think.
Thoughts?
Miners, how bad should I feel about being an asshole to people/overly-judgemental in my head? I'm kind of a jerk, and I can't keep myself from calling others "retards" and "faggots" and nitpicking every little thing they do if they displease me. I am easily displeased.
My only saving grace is that I tend to keep my venting anonymous – here or LC, or /r9k/, or random forum accounts that get ditched within the month.
What are your thoughts on non-monogamous dating?
hi friends. im really scared to work a shit minimum wage job again and i have extreme anxiety. i have an interview tomorrow and want to chicken out because i feel like 3 full days of work for less than 200 a week is such bullshit…
im not one for sex work but due to my anxiety and the fact that i dont want to slave around, should i do something more private like sell panties or feet pictures? how can i make money online? im skilled with crafts but that all takes time to sell and im scared nobody will purchase (i sew and make bug shadowboxes (mostly butterflies). can ptsd and anxiety get me disability…
running away
The title is a bit of an exaggeration, but I want to move out of my parents' home.
For context, I am over 18. My parents pressured me to take a degree that I didn't want. I did my best but I ended up failing and getting expelled still because it was a degree I wasn't suited for.
Because of being expelled I'm currently a NEET and I just want to not be one. Our home life is dysfunctional and I really just want out.
Even if I don't move away I at least want to get a job so I can spend all-day working instead of being at home.
I want to get a job and move out preferably but I feel overwhelmed, I don't know where to start.
Another thing is I can't really move freely because my folks are helicopter parents. Honestly I resent them a little for being so overprotective that I lack street smarts and turned into whatever "this" is. But that was then, it's not too late for me to learn and fix that now.
Our home has CCTV cameras too so I have no idea how I can even get a job that requires me to go outside.
TL;DR: I want to get a job and move out of our toxic home, but I have no idea how to concretely go about it.
Stalking/cyberstalking/harassment victims
Have you ever been a target of stalking or harassment (on the internet or IRL)? Considering our environment I would guess many of us have had at least some experience with this.
I hope it's okay to make this thread, I saw some related to the subject but not the exactly the same.
I'm feeling guilty because my crush (and also friend) sent me a text during a psychotic episode that was kind of embarrassing for them understandably. They just apologized for a bunch of meaningless things like running into me whilst they were travelling or not holding a door open for me. And now I can't find myself attracted to him anymore. Should I feel bad? I don't know.
Anon, why haven't you killed yourself yet? Genuine question, what's stopping you from ending it all?
I can't find any will to live anymore.
separatism with super best friend
Hey anons
sorry if this is schizo or dumb it’s 4 am when i usually sleep at 12am and i just was thinking about having a relatable significant other that’s a retarded robot and getting through life together with her, losing our magical autism powers and growing old and living for each other
When are you supposed to start feeling like a real adult?? What do I have to do?
collecting dolls
I am 22 and want to start collecting dolls like barbies and what not. They are beautiful and think it'd be fun to have. I just feel like a child for wanting to do this and know society would shame me for this. Should I say f society and go through with it?
Lockdown Isolation Coping
It's been 10 months of lockdown, and it's really getting to me. I'd stopped taking classes January 2020 because I had just lost my scholarship, and so I was pretty much locked in the house all that time. I was able to finally get a part-time job last October. However, I don't think that's enough, the isolation is getting to me. Group chats aren't enough replacement for face-to-face interaction with human beings, and so that's why I'm losing my mind. How do you get your socialization in safely? I'm worried I'm going to snap.
So, since Friday whenever I was in class I started not being able to breathe correctly and my heart rate would increase then after some minutes it would be unbearable and I was forced to leave.
That's a panic attack right? First time having it.
Now the thing is that I've never been that anxious or afraid of anything and I was super chill in class. This happened all of the sudden.
Anyone can help or relate?
Explain why you think your life is a mess right now.
Infertility, pregnancy, and health complications
This thread might not be relevant to a lot of you, or it may sound silly and stupid. I just really needed to talk. Shrinks just don’t cut it, this post will be long.
I am a small young woman. From birth I have had congenital abnormalities related to heritable genetic defects, and always known in the back of my mind that fertility, genetics, and labor would have complications.
I am not technically infertile, but I am fully grown and 4’7 with 71 pounds on my body. The malnourishment has been attempted to be treated since I was born with failure to thrive. I have skeletal dysplasia and underwent invasive surgeries to reconstruct my hands and left arm. I have had T3-L3 of my spine fused. I am waiting on surgery for my hips. I have a connective tissue disorder and Holt-Oram syndrome. I will not divulge further because it will get too lengthy. Doctors have repeatedly given me the long talk about genetics, and my own health for pregnancy and labor. At