Dating general
Continuing from >>>29416
i'm so sick of men begging me to do butt stuff. Literally annoying af
Cheated on
I have been married to my husband for 8 years and we have two kids. I just found out my husband got a blow job from our also married neighbor over the summer. I feel like shit and don’t know what to do. Has anyone been cheated on and gone on to have a healthy relationship?
Maradona is dead
Say something nice about him so I can stop crying.
Drugs
LSD LSD LSD
Can you brake a media addiction? If so, how?
I KNOW I watch too much youtube and it prevents me from getting work done.
Its not even that enjoyable but the weekends are mostly spent like that, middles video after middles video and suddenly it's night when it was morning just a moment ago. At least with TV shows it's structured so even if you spend hours on it at least you can say that you have watched a show but with YouTube you didn't even accomplish that much.
Any advice on how I can break this habit and get into a more productive or educational one, for example reading books.
How the fuck are you supposed to trust men again after assault/rape??
It happened 3 times already anons, i'm losing my mcfreakin mind and none were even full on rape
Everywhere i look there's predators. On the bus i see men grinding against women who can't move, at college there are known pervert teachers and no one does anything about it, on the street i see harassment and stares, my insurance covers for doctors who abused minors, my favourite musicians and artists are scum and fucked teens, so so many watch violent porn. With every woman i talk to, there is a story like this, of men hurting them just to get off.
I distrust every single man,no matter what they are to me, because these aren't isolated cases, the ones who are normal human beings seem to be the rarity.
But i just can't fucking take it anymore, the fear. They're everywhere, they're stronger and our justice system is completely useless against even rape with all the evidence.
It got to the point where i'm mildly suicidal. There is nowhere to run and i can't avoid them, it seems inevitable something will happen again judging by the experience of the women around me.
I don't know what to do anymore and can't take it much longer, currently i don't even want to bathe because i am disgusted about touching my body and being reminded of stuff that happened or could happen.
Is she our queen?
The strength of men scares me
I am a caddy for my part time job (best job for an unskilled highschooler or university student btw). There is this cute guy there I have a crush on, but he seems quite shy and just likes to read his book while waiting for a golfer. The few times we’ve talked he seems quite pleasant.
I’ve always known men were stronger than us, but it’s another thing to see it in person. I’ve noticed that when he caddies, he carries the entire golf bag with one arm by the handle up and out to his side, kind of like the pose when flexing your bicep, and he fucking SPRINTS with it. He runs ahead on each hole to see where the ball lands, and he runs significantly faster than the golf carts.
He doesn’t even look like some sort of muscle beast from /fit/. He’s just a tall, thin, toned guy who might lift a few times a week. He could probably kill me with a single punch, and then follow up with 80 more without running out of breath. I would probably have a panic attack if we got in an argument and he got angry and started shouting. I don’t even know how you could have an equal relationship with someone when the difference in power is so immense. They say it’s borderline rape when a CEO fucks an intern due to the difference in power, but what about physical power?
I was already a little afraid of men’s predatory instincts and behavior, but to see it reinforced that whenever I’m around men I’m only alive because they permit it freaks me out. How do you cope with this?
Vent thread
Last thread was >>45059 vent your worries and frustrations
Dating General
I didn't know if there was one or if you ladies care. So I made one anyway.
Dating General is for asking questions and or advice, sharing experiences, telling stories and so on
Happy Feels/Vent
Share the good things that have happened to you recently!
I randomly got a call for a job that I didn't apply for, but the job offer is my passion (cake decorating)! I went to the interview yesterday, and was hired immediately. The chef is a cool druggy gamer guy as are the other dudes in the kitchen, so now I'm gonna make a bunch of awesome cool nerdy friends! He really liked the cake I brought him and the work I did. The pay is more than I was expecting.
The only thing that makes me nervous is that he also wants me to work the line, which I've never done, but the place is classy so we're putting out beautiful food that I'm really proud of and even messing with molecular gastronomy, which I've wanted to get into for a very long time! I'm so excited to do my best.
It kind of scares me that moids get pleasure from doing this to girls. What’s the best way to avoid something like this happening? Obviously avoid sleeping with a guy too soon, but I’ve seen guys run game on girls and convince them they love them and act as if they’re in a relationship with them while having sex, sometimes for months, then turn around and pull this type of shit.
Let me give you a piece of advice.
If you have a crush, tell them. Pursue them. Please figure out if he/she likes you or not.
Even if you get rejected, it's far less worse than the pain of never knowing what could have been.
I wish I had known this.
Has anyone here recently been broken up with? If so, how are you finding ways to cope? How are you handling it in the already difficult year of 2020? What are you doing in terms of self-care?
This question is ideally for those who are still single after leaving a relationship, I'm not really interested in hearing stories of people who simply go on serial dating sprees or binge on tinder hookups to "cope with the pain" lol.
Anon, why haven't you killed yourself yet? Genuine question, what's stopping you from ending it all?
I can't find any will to live anymore.
Unsent letters
Ever wanted to give someone a piece of your mind but you know you'd just regret it? Post in here and get it off your chest.
I'm so overcome with fear at the thought of going to university Judy because of the debt.
I know that where I am, is fortunate since school debt is one without interest and quite lenient but it will still be stuck with you for life, unlike for the previous generation.
I would be fine with a job that doesn't require a degree but I will never get to have that uni experience and fulfill mundane but desirable goals such as living in a dorm or getting to actively study what I'm passionate about.
I also think that I just want an academic career, or one that requires higher education, just because I will have validation that I am intelligent and that I am capable. And the kind of person I want and the friends that I surround myself wouldn't want the type of person I am currently heading to become.
Mostly just a vent but any advice from people with similar experiences would be very appreciated.
umm helo anon.
If you are sad and reading this I just wants you to know that you are not alone in how you feel.
I know life does not always get better but lets hope it does because life is really hard and full of hurt and people hurting us
I can feel all alone and then knowing other anons are sad can help but it makes me feel sad that they feel as I do.
Wish I could help you feel better.
Hedonism
Lets talk about it. Are you capable of stoicism or dependent on comfortableness and immediate pleasure?
College/Uni feels
Share the good, the bad, and hell of pursuing a degree. Whether it be living in a dorm with a horrible roommate, classes kicking your ass, or something happening relating to school that has filled you with joy.
all i want is cute lesbian friends why is that so hard im so fucking sad
Long Distance Relationships
Thread to discuss Long Distance Relationships. The struggles, the pros… meeting the person for the first time… meeting them for the 50th time… vent both sad and happy things. LDRs can be quite a challenge but it's the right thing for some people.
Maybe it's the air we breathe. The people's faces we see. The traffic. The school. The teachers. The coworkers. The boss. The insurance. The rent. The bank. The car. The Wal-Mart. The wood. The machine. The rain. The sun. another Christmas gone. Another year gone. Another summer gone. Another winter gone. Another year alone. Another cigarette. Another beer. Another hit. Another hit. Another hit.
>mom and dad are arguing again
help help help
i have no friends online or irl. i spend excessive amounts of time on anonymous messaging services like omegle (and a few tor sites), usually 2 or three hours a day. im such a shit person i drive everyone i love away. i constantly feel like im dyimg, literally. i always have this feelimg in my chest that i suffocating, sometimes its not that bad and sometimes its worse, but its always there. im incapable of communicating with other human beings for anything but necessity. the best i can do is 30 minute conversations over text, and that normally doesnt go well. im a boring person, my only real hobbies are home ec type things like sewing and knitting, and i play the flute but am pretty shitty.
Last night me and my very last friend were fighting so i told him "i fucking hate you, never talk to me again and i wish i never met you" (paraphrased, but you get the point).
anyway, you get the gyst of it. how do i repair myself? am i beyond saving? i used to be kind of cool but then i turned to shit.
i hate myself. i hate myself so much and i hate the world.
if youre advice is "kill yourself" please at least describe the method you suggest i use thats most effective (no guns pls). im open to almost any suggestions, and will try anything to fix myself.
My boyfriend is into crossdressing and wants to become a tranner. I said I supported him but he started trying on my clothes and it makes me rather annoyed and uncomfortable. Why do I feel do awkward and uncomfy? What should I do? He seems dysphoric but he also joked about being a kink to him. He also wants me to call him degrading names (like slut, etc.)
Anon, are you sure you're sure? Because I am not. How do you know what you're feeling, or if you're feeling anything at all? I don't know why I can't understand my own feelings, anyone else feels the same?
>be redhead
>want kids
>if it's a girl, she'll be fetishized by fucking weirdo creeps her whole life and just seen as a sex object
>if its a boy, he'll be tortured and bullied and most likely be a hideous abomination and almost certainly turn into an incel when he grows up
JUST
I was 25 days self-harm free but I ruined it.
How can I make my boyfriend appreciate his first time?
He says he doesn't care about firsts and stuff but I want to make him appreciate it?
What should I tell him to make him change his opinion?
>tfw I just want to be the gf of a couple that's already together
>I want the man and woman to fall in love with me together
>I want them to both snuggle me at night and love me
>I want to be a sex toy for them individually and together
>I just want to be the cherished 3rd wheel in a relationship
It's not fair.
Traumatic Experiences
What was the most traumatic experience of your childhood (before 20)? I'd say mine was losing my house and a lot of my belongings in a fire.
How to make friends?
I have a hard time making friends with others both online and irl. Does anyone have advice in how to make friends and be likable and sociable?
Bad dreams
I had another dream about my old friend who I was close to.
What bad dreams have you had lately anon?
>have they been good
>have they been bad
What are they like when bad or good?
Coming out as lesbian to bf
I want to break up with my boyfriend as I have realised I'm a lesbian. However, I'm conflicted as I don't have any friends besides him, so I'll be alone if I go through with it.
To give more context, this is my first relationship, and I mostly went out with him because I was lonely. When we met I didn't have any friends and I liked him a lot platonically, but when he developed feelings for me I went along with it because I didn't want to lose him.
Now we've been dating for 2 years, and I've tried my best to convince myself I like him but I just feel unfulfilled. It's not even his fault, since I can't imagine myself being fulfilled in a relationship with any guy.
He's a really nice person so I don't want hurt him, but I feel if I stay with him it would be more dishonest and more likely to hurt him in the long run.
I want to end things in a peaceful way that we can remain friends if he wants, but if he doesn't I'll respect that too. I was kind of hoping he would find someone else, but I can't just wait around hoping that'll happen.
>be me
>21 years
>virgin
>just don´t happend
>it's ok
>think how it will be when it happens
>no cute
>no soft
>no magic
>tears come out of my eyes
I am doomed, my first time will be with someone with more experience than me, it will not be sweet and gentle, it will be hard and wild.
Thinking of quitting therapy so I can have more drive to kill myself.
Does anyone else feel like this at all?
The pressure of going to therapy in a way helps me try refrain from self harm and doing anything but I really feel I will benefit from letting it all go.
Is this what you call self sabotaging??
Family Violence
>tfw you're still terrified of your father
Just thinking about the violence I've suffered over the years makes me cry.
I need some help because I have serious behavior issues that I don't know how to fix.
I get upset very easily (especially when I misunderstand a situation) and my anger escalates very quickly. From a normal conversation to me yelling,slamming doors, throwing things, crying, etc. I did some online CBT for a few months which helped me realize the root of this problem but it's flared up again. I think this is just my poor personality and I need to practice more awareness and self-control.
Does anyone have thought exercises they could suggest?
I also act extremely erratically (being extremely violent, yelling, breaking things,crying loudly for hours) and completely forgot them. This was partially substance based as I started drinking too much, but I'm sober now and I still have these blackouts. I'll remember everything up to and after the freak-out, but my bad behavior is a complete blank, even right after it happens.
I also try to set it up to look as if I'm the vulnerable/hurt party in these episodes.
Wtf is this? Is there a name for this? I want to go to therapy badly but going could cost me my job and I live paycheck to paycheck. :(
(I'm not sure if this belongs here or in /hb/, but it feels more advice-oriented so I posted it here.)
Dissatisfied with submissive sex
Why does it seem like most submissive men aren’t truly submissive, but instead are just channeling their lazy behavior into sex? I relish in being dominant from time to time but it’s exhausting when every time I feel like I’m centering the whole experience on his fetish, even when I’m not into it. It just seems like a manifestation of his depression or insecurity or repressed traumas into our sex life, which isn’t his fault. However, it’s annoying when I’m always taking the reigns because of one time where I was more dominant.
It doesn’t feel like truly submissive behavior. It just feels like him wanting me to tie him up and spend as much time as works for him pleasuring and indulging his very masochistic tendencies. I don’t even like being physically sadistic, and inflicting pain, but he loves it more than anything. There’s no real submission to me, and no real dominance over him. The dirty talk he wants is always forced and awkward for me, because it makes me feel awkward to verbally degrade him all the time. I’m fine with indulging this fantasy every so often, and I even like it from time to time, but it’s so exhausting when he always wants to submit to me on the bottom and be pleasured. And I love him, so I’m not letting something like sexual compatibility ruin our loving relationship. But I’m avoiding intimacy like the plague because I’ve been so exhausted by it for weeks. It doesn’t feel like my needs are met at all and it’s making sex feel like labor, or a chore.
Again, I am definitely a switch. I love taking the reigns. But I don’t even get off, even when I’m masturbating myself. It’s just so performative and strenuous and annoying for me. I’m even beginning to be resentful of submissive behavior from him in general.
And the worst part is that he has the rare dominant streak- and I don’t even want dominance sometimes. Sometimes I want loving missionary sex. But it feels like my options are blindfolding him and giving him blowjobs until he’s satisfied and goes to sleep, or being bent over a cabinet and fucked like I’m a whore. I don’t even want the latter. I’ll do it and sometimes it’s really good, and enjoyable for me, but I don’t want either extreme. I just want to enjoy sex without indulging a weird fetish. Sometimes, in his more vanilla moments, it’s really enjoyable. These are few and far between, but happen. But then he always goes back to “submitting” halfway through and I’m left slapping and abusing him when I hate it.
He would try to engage in happy or gently dominant sex with me, or even a softer, more subtle level of submission for himself where he’s actually a participant if I told him how dissatisfied I am. But it would make him very insecure. On top of that, he would be disinterested or dissatisfied in the sex too, and grow tired of it like I have. He won’t take the revelation well no matter how I break it to him. It’s pointless.
Am I just fucking doomed to hate sex and be completely unsatisfied and annoyed with it forever? What the fuck am I supposed to do? An open relationship is off the table for both of us and I just want to enjoy sex with him, as an active and engaging participant. I need a fucking cigarette. The one fucking time I was more forward and dominant, he loved it, and so I indulged it a little. But now it’s all he fucking wants. I just want a fucking cigarette and to break something.
im sad all i want to do is get boba with a cute girl and become bffs with her how is that so hard i hate it here !! i just want a girl bff :( someone
30 year old virgin thread
Hi I'm a 30 year old virgin and I've never had a boyfriend or held hands or anything like that. I've been one like 2 dates because I forced myself to go on a date so I wouldn't be 30 and have never gone on a date. Covid ruined my plans of securing a man for the sake of securing a man, so here I am I actually turned 30 as pure as the driven snow.
Anyone else? Whats your story? Why are you a virgin? How do you tell people? Does it bother you? Do you plan on doing something about it? Lets gather and cry together sisters.
Need help Anons
Recently , my long time friend who used to be a fellow femcel(in denial) like myself got into a relationship with a guy that I liked. I've felt a swirl of emotions , ranging from anger and gloom and even guilt to some extent. How do I stop these feelings. I'm sure that I'm not jealouscel
Am I just a bitch?
I have a problem making friends because I just never feel the magic and after learning about people and how they think I just get bored so find the chatting stressful.
I do not pretend to be friends and then ghost them I let them know from the start nearly I may not get those feelings but end up stopping contact for my own selfish reasons.
I feel like a bitch because so many people just want to have someone want to be their friend and I someone who people tend to want to be friends with but throw it away because there is rarely any magic felt.
Am I a bitch for preferring to stick to anonymous posting to chat to people instead of talking with someone who wants me to be their friend as it is not enjoyable to me??
Am I a bitch? I feel guilty for the way I just am and wish I was not this way..
coping with ur void
ugh i know this sounds like moping but im at this point in my life where i dont even know what i fucking want.
i know i want to like someone but, commitment scares me bc i feel like i will start to deny myself autonomy just to keep someone around (from past experiences).
i constantly crave sex but when i have it with someone, who i even know well enough in casual sex standards i feel absolutely horrible.
i dont even know what kind of guy i like, and if i like someone i dont even know why i like them.
it's all so puzzling.
and figuring out that i might be neurodivergent (possibly bipolar or borderline), i can't help but feel that i'm doomed in this regard as well.
and i constantly keep feeling ugly as a south asian woman in europe where it feels like every woman whose standards were always present in my television is now all around us. the irrational feeling of nobody liking me because of my averagely chubbier body and having more body hair than usual is constantly fucking with me.
i've been reading this dbt book and i have therapy appointments soon which is really nice but it feels so meaningless to live a life without a favorite person. how do u become comfortable with your loneliness?
Is there any bigger myth than the ugly guys are nicer myth?
only positive stuff that happened recently
hi girlies!
let's talk about positive stuff that happened to you recently!
you can talk about anything you want, it just has to be positive!
i almost have no friends or people to talk to in my day-to-day life. The only person I talk to regularly is my boyfriend. I'm too intimidated by people I guess and even those I talk to probably find me annoying :/ I'm also extremely ugly so I guess that scares most people away .. w/e
Don't know what to do
Few months ago me and my would-be bf parted ways. I felt like we had great chemistry but I really wasn't ready to get into a relationship with me after my last bf dumped me on xmas eve. He was a really good friend and was actually respectful of my wanting not to rush into a relationship. I kinda knew that eventually we were going to start dating but I was really hesitant, and it felt like our relationship was just kinda in limbo. We were close friends and we knew we'd eventually date, but we hadn't actually reached that stage yet, so our boundaries and affinities were kinda out of whack, and that not being clear of what was what really started to mess with me, so I asked if we could just kinda go our separate ways for a while. He was clearly sad about it but he agreed, but I went like a week and couldn't stand not speaking to him, so I reached out and we sorta kept going like before, but then one night in early May I got really drunk and snapped at him for something that wasn't his fault and told him to get lost and leave me alone, and he did. I convinced myself he was a manipulative piece of shit for what happened, and I spent a lot of time angry and in denial that it wasn't really his fault and I was just being a bitch. He reached out to me twice since then to check on my but out of pride (and guilt) I couldn't bring myself to respond to him and admit that I was wrong, so he stopped trying to speak to me. Fast forward to now, 5 months later and I'm an absolute wreck without him. I get nosy and peek at his steam sometimes, and seeing all the games he plays and groups he's in with his friends having fun just tears my heart to shreds. Now that I'm over what happened with my last bf in 2019, and feel ready to get into a relationship, the only prospective relationship I had is gone because I fucking ruined it like I always ruin shit. The fact that he's out there, having fun and enjoying himself without me makes me want to cry my eyes out and fucking kill myself. I guess basically what I'm trying to say is that I don't know what to do now. The only person I wanted to date is long gone, and I just feel like I'm out of options. I heard from a mutual friend last week that he has a gf and apparently they're super cute together and they have all kinds of shared hobbies and shit they do and it just kills me. I know this sounds like yandere creeper shit, but the farther out I get from him, the more I realize he was like my best possible partner and I let him slip away. He was sweet, always in a good mood, never got mad at me, always put up with my moody bullshit and had jokes to cheer me up. When I told him I wanted to part ways, he didn't pull any niceguy shit and demand I give him a chance, he gave me the space I asked for. it's at the point now where I think about him almost daily and would almost rather off myself than continue to be tortured by images flashing in my head of a future with him I can never have.
Vent thread
We hit bump on >>43518 so here we go again, talk about your problems and vent your frustrations
bpd pushed him away and i fucking miss him
i’m so fucking sad I miss him so much he always said he would never abandon me and now he’s gone
i want to die. i was so close to just ending it when he left but i was hospitalized so i couldn’t
how do i find purpose in life i’m always so bored now and i just have nothing
Tfw i have stopped wearing a pad everyday in case my periods come back cause they have been gone for so long. but them being gone for long doesnt actually decrease the probability. its just an illusion. why do humans like to pretend theyre in control like this?
Found the perfect guy but I can't feel attracted to him
This sounds like bait but I swear it's not. Hear me out.
I'm 20.
He's a 24 year old virgin. A 7/10. Has a good paying, full time job, an amazing GPA, and is on his way to get a compsci degree. He says he loves me and would marry me within 2 years if everything worked out.
Things didn't work out. I'm hysteric, depressed, and really socially retarded. I cannot feel love. Not a single bit. Not for him or anyone else. I don't even have a libido.
He was literally the perfect guy. I could be completely comfortable if I just married him. I don't know what to do. I'm stupid, ugly, and insane, so I really don't think I'll ever get the chance to marry ever again.
Should I just get back with him and deal with it? I feel like this is my only shot at life, but I also think I'll be miserable if I stay with him.
ex bf broke up with me keeps contacting me
Story:
Ex bf broke up with me because I did something that hurt him.
So I accepted that he didn't want to get back with me and went no contact.
The bitch keeps breaking no contact and messaging me.
However, everytime the same situation happens: he tells me he misses talking to me/miss me or some variation of that, I want to get back with him, he tells me he doesn't want to get back with me. He keeps telling me he wants to stay friends and not lose contact with me because I am important to him. I get mad and tell him never contact me again. He keeps contacting me, however, the no contact time period has gotten longer and longer and it's pissing me off. First we went less than a week, then 2 weeks, then 4 weeks, now it's been about 7 weeks and he contacted me once again.
I haven't replied or left him on read because I got school shit to worry about. I haven't left him on read so he doesn't know if I read it or not.
What the fuck sick game is he playing. This shit is pissing me off. I am too weak to leave him on block forever because I still want to get back with him. What do.
I think I got cheated on...
When I was dating my ex, these 2 guys I knew from school kept telling me they saw him on a date with another girl.
He had 1 gal pal he knew from work. She's engaged and seemed like a very nice girl, so I accepted it. I asked this girl if she went out to eat with my bf on that day, and she said yes.
I ask my ex if he went out to eat with a girl, he said yes, and said he went to eat with the girl I mentioned.
So I showed a picture of said girl to the 2 guys that were telling me my bf was cheating, and they SWORE it wasn't the same girl.
Could she have been covering up for my ex bf? Who should I believe?
Expiration date
I am slowly but steadily approaching 30, and while logically I realize that this isn't the end of the line, I can't help but being depressed over a number society and nature itself dedicated to be an expiration date for women. I've been dreading this moment for years; actually for the majority of my 20's, burying myself in anxiety I cannot fight against.
I've never felt truly "young". Ever since the beginning of college I've been struggling with health and legal issues (nothing criminal, but still a mountain of paperwork which was more that I reasonably could handle), and what social life or partying can there be when all you are able to do during free time is to sleep. I've made it through college at the cost of my health, and yet my grades still tanked and I had no work experience by the time it was over, making my degree worthless. It's been several years since college and all I could realistically do was slow-paced freelance work, because no "proper" workplace hired me even once despite my countless attempts. The world doesn't need slow-paced but diligent workers: they need everything fast and sloppy. They don't need women either, because they might give birth, oh horror. Or maybe they just don't need millennials, period. What a joke. It's been several years and I already hate my chosen profession, and I used to love it with so much passion.
I've never felt truly "beautiful" either, and I doubt that I will ever, considering that my official expiration date is approaching fast, and from an ugly duckling who became an ugly duck, I'll transform into an ugly old duck. I have always hated how I look. It hurt to discover that I haven't actually been ugly at all as a teen: I was made to believe that. I have no idea whether I am actually ugly now, but I can't stand to look at my photos or selfies or myself in a mirror; plus my health problems made me gain weight, and yet professional doctors just smirk at me with condensing "oh, I guess you just love cakes this much to eat them daily", and I don't have the power to scream at these assholes that I don't even have this kind of money to eat cakes daily. At times all I had was plain rice.
I've never been truly "healthy" either. Ever since I had rheumatic fever as a kid I've been broken. My joints still hurt from time to time years later, my heart is compromised, my brain is damaged; and even with all the baggage which prevents me from being a normal person I am denied a disability, because it's all just too invisible. It's easier to label me as simply lazy. Sometimes I legit wish that doctors have never bothered with treating me, because what was the point. Letting me die of a heart failure would be even more easy for everyone involved.
Maybe my life never began in a first place; and yet my expiration date is approaching. Because in the society's eyes all we are good for is baby-making, and making babies is considered inadvisable after 30. My life as an individual has never been important.
This has been a rant. Take it as you will and thank you for listening.
>ywn be cute enough to make guys nervous
I get so nervous thinking about doing homework I'm behind on/difficult homework that I get paralyzed and end up putting it off longer, which makes me even more nervous. I've been doing this for years and it's been making my life utter hell lately. How do I stop? I'm doing my third year of uni during covid btw.
why did I break up with him? I just miss him every day now
Soooo we all know that BPD is the new hysteria, right?
Qt Partner Thread
Greentext traits and how lovely your partner is
tfw no bf
Last thread maxxed out: >>>/feels/8844
Reminder:
Admin's post: >>>/feels/10163
>We ban trolls and delete their posts as we find them, but we've also had an influx of new genuine user groups who have clashing ideas of what the board culture should be like. Please report suspected troll posts and we'll take care of the rest.
Are you following your heart?
What changes would you need to make to your life for the answer to be yes?
Fuck Tinder
You know, I want to get out, meet people, hopefully get a nice boyfriend, but I feel like Tinder is just for easy hookups and one night stands.
I feel that 99% of the guys that go on Tinder don't care about having a long term relationship.
Am I wrong?
Disclaimer: I haven't used it yet.
How do I cope knowing most men are incapable of love without sex?
Obsessed with Sex
Anyone else here think they are over-focused on/obsessed with sex? I really feel like I'm more horny than the average person, and I have tried in many ways to lower my libido. It's also this weird balancing act - on the one hand I don't want to pathologize my sexuality just because I'm a woman and female horniness isn't talked about/centered as much, but I also want to take my own issue seriously if it is one.
It is the topic I think about most prominently, when I meet someone the first assessment I make is whether or not I would smash (in a vaccuum, I'm pretty inexperienced in sex lmao). Every night before I sleep I think of the same three sexual scenarios of fucking someone I am sexually interested in at the moment (these sexual crushes change every few years).
Blogpost - I was in therapy for two years bc of my opinions I have on sex among other stuff. Because of my focus on sexual daydreaming about other people I was thinking BPD, but I apparently don't fully fit the bill, especially the abandonment issue stuff (I got more the opposite problem lol). I got diagnosed with PTSD and social anxiety but I'm not sure about the former though I did have unwanted sexual experiences in my childhood.
since finding out about greater male variability hypothesis i feel pretty terrible and there's no way to talk about this on the internet bc invariably someone will think im not a woman but some moid larping lmfao i wish it possible to stop feeling like nature doomed me to be much more limited than i feel i am, than i wish i was. not even the things we're supposedly better at ("women are more creative!") are true…besides, having a high iq makes one understand much more and innovate much more…why do we have to shoulder such a burden?
Parasocial Relationship General
Parasocial Relationship
>Is a one sided relationship where one person knows a great deal about the other, but the other person knows nothing about them.
This term is founded by Donald Horton and Richard Wohl in 1956
What are example of parasocial relationship ?
>Youtubers/Streamers and fan
>Celebrity Crush
>Stans Culture
>Simp
>2d/ Fictional Character crush
>Vtuber and fan
etc
Anons,What is the best way to maintaining a healthy parasocial relationship?
Or
What is your experience with parasocial Relationship
I recently develop a lot parasocial relationships as coping from my loneliness because of the quarantine.
Video releted to Parasocial
>The Parasocial Problem with Livestreaming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvYAVti8nbk
>parasocial relationships in kpop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHP7JyrXZhQ&t=394s
>FAKE FRIENDS EPISODE ONE: intro to parasocial relationships
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3vD_CAYt4g&t=10s
>FAKE FRIENDS EPISODE TWO: parasocial hell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLA-uFKjQ-g
>How Fans Treat Creators
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0l_biTU3Vg
>The Lonely Fans of OnlyFans
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djMojvschs0
>Why Are Celebrity Crushes So Intense?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLp1Yr3-KtA
Article related :
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/parasocial-relationships/
Can we talk about how twisted our judgmentality on people tends to be? Ive noticed that as ive gotten my shit together, beaten depression and become skinny, people have gotten much kinder towards me. Fat and unhygienic people are deemed as disgusting and lazy instead of considered to be going through hell mentally (for me atleast eating has served as a coping mechanism against emptiness and poor hygiene has been due to lack of motivation for anything). Especially women who dont take care of themselves are viewed as defects.
tfw when you want sex but also want love before sex but also extremely cynic about men's ability to love but also shy and have ridiculously high standards and attracted only to very few guys.
Blaming books which made me a hopeless romantic and reality which made me see the truth.
Ways to cope?
>joined twitter for the first time to make friends
>made an account for a popular fandom, yes I’m a sperg
>everyone spams woke shit
>harasses and bullies people for minor things
>just want to share cute art and talk abt vidja
I know I’m an autist, but how tf do you actually make online friends that aren’t retarded? Should I just avoid Twitter
I just experienced homophobia for the first time in years. I’m 19 and two of my male classmates threw my calculator in the trash so I could “dig for it in my home”. I wasn’t in the room and told this by a friend. No one stood up for me or got onto them. I asked to change classes but can’t
Hello, girls I need your help because it's just too painful…
So, I'm in a relationship.
When my boyfriend speaks of his past my stomach hurts. Why is this happenings?
He's not speaking about relationships or anything (It's the first both of us have a relationship), just normal stuff.|
Any help, anyone felt the same way?
It's like a psychosomatic thing but I can't figure out why…
He's not saying anything hurtful or painful just normal stuff.
Self Improvement Thread
Post about how you want to improve yourself/your self improvement plans ITT and I will try and help you to the best of my ability, or just commiserate and talk if that's what you want.
Also general self improvement feels thread
Chads are the worst
They have all the regular terrible qualities of men (aggressive, promiscuous, violent, narcissistic), but in addition to that, they will also look down on you because they believe being good looking means they are the pinnacle of human life (ironically, their fading looks are all they have to offer the world, never having had to work for anything.) Ugly women merely existing offends them, i.e.
>That landwhale just smiled at me! She should be put in her place for thinking she’s worthy of my attention!
They were born with opportunities most people will never get laid out at their feet and they use it to be giant assholes. Even the ones who use their image to spread good (their subjective ideals) are just acting out a self-righteous masturbatory fantasy. The best thing a chad can do is look pretty and shut up.
Pretty Girls Make Me Sad
I feel depressed and inadequate when I see pretty girls.
Being on the internet is especially hard with the constant surplus and bombardment of beautiful women selling themselves or selling a product.
Any of you ladies ever be the first to approach a boy and ask him out? How did it go?
There's a cute boy that I work with and I have been giving him signs that I'm into him (Like biting my lip sometimes when speaking or listening to him.).
I'm not sure if he is just oblivious to my hints or if he plain doesn't like me. Should I just bite the bullet and ask him out first?
I am way, way too sensitive and emotional. How can I get over this? I know i’m being dramatic, I don’t lash out at people, but over time I just accumulate stings from things they did that hurt me without meaning to, and they never understand how bad it hurts. And because they don’t understand how bad it hurt, their apologies always seem half-baked to me.
What do I do?
molestation by another female
when i was 12 in seventh grade i was molested by an eighth grade girl. me and my bf are both virgins and want to lose our virginities to eachother one day and i have paranoia about it i’m a virgin or not because what happened. basically we both had moms with hypersexuality (her mom was a prostitute and mine was an escort) and we bonded over this, but one time when we were sleeping over it was late. i didn’t have a bed in my bedroom so we were on a trundle together and she was on omegle getting naked for men. she pressured me to take my clothes off and i started freezing because of previous experiences with my dad where he touched me intappropriately and thought he was in love with me (he is mentally ill) but i didn’t stop her as she undressed and i didn’t say no. i just froze and panicked internally and let it happen when she began to touch my body and undress me. it was like i couldn’t move and it was disgusting and she put hickeys on my naked body and photographed it and sent it to people from our school and touched my genitalia a lot. she put her hands inside me too and i cried when she went to sleep next to me that night. i didn’t even say yes or no so i feel like i silently consented to it but also, my mom being an escort had men over constantly. and i don’t remember this year at all, 99% of my memories are completely blacked out, but my family accuses my mom of having men over who she would let molest and touch me inappropriately. i can’t remember any of this so i don’t know if it’s true or not and i can’t say i have trauma for it, but these issues overlap with before during and after this girl touched me. i remember crying in a family members lap after she told me this because i was crying and screaming that i couldn’t remember and she was saying how i used to confide in her that men my mom had over would hurt me sexually. i don’t remember this, so it doesn’t distress me if it even did happen, but it’s distressing what i can’t remember. i was also psych warded that year after being shunned when the photos of me circulated and remember only 3-4 days of my inpatient thing when it was 16 days long.
i feel like i wasn’t really molested or assaulted or anything because she was another girl, and also i didn’t stop her. i just started crying and went frozen. it was really horrible and like my body was on auto pilot. i feel like a slut and like i am going to hell for sleeping with another girl even if i didn’t actually want to. i also feel like im not a virgin anymore and it’s sad because i wanted my boyfriend to be my first time. i’m also secretly worried about him thinking i’m a whore even if i know he thinks i’m not. i cannot shake the feeling that i am a horrible dirty person
how can i get over this? sorry for long post idk what to do anymore, i can’t burden my bf with this he has his own issues to worry for and he loves me very much, and doesn’t deserve to have to carry my baggage.
wtf do i do?
Anyone feels sadness and feelings in general too much?
I feel sadness in my stomach so much it's so painful I don't know what to do…
I just started feeling feelings like a year or two and every month my feelings keep being more extreme.
I'm so tired of this pain in my stomach everyday.
Does anyone else ever get annoyed that the people who did amazingly in high school or even college just don't seem to be achieving much after that?
For example, if I think of all the people who would win all the prizes at prize givings, they just seem to have graduated and found a job and that's it. A few, especially from college, have gone on to get PhDs but then have just gone into regular jobs. Some of the jobs are ok and are related to their field but nothing that strikes as a dream job.
I look at their Linkedin pages and all their achievements are from high school or college. It's like they just gave up when they found a job. They don't seek achievements anymore. Why is this?
It's even worse if you look up people from Oxbridge or the Ivys. Someone will graduate top in their class in something like Chinese or Archeology but then everyone goes into finance positions with no relation to the incredible education they received. I'd expect someone like that to be UN interpreter or something like The Vintage Archeologist. It's like they gave up on their dreams, or even worse they were never there.
I realise that they might actually like what they are doing and they probably pay well, but it's just weird that none of them seem to go into something that is objectively considered to be a dream job and would be easy for them to go into to. What am I missing?
BPD
Post in this thread every time you did it again.
Pretending to be Normal
I appear to be a fairly normal person on the outside. I function in life just fine, I have a job, go to school. I look normal. I keep in touch with friends. Sometimes I have coffee with coworkers. Although I can get really bad anxiety at times that makes it hard to do things I eventually do them. I've traveled and worked abroad. I have funny stories to tell people that make me seem interesting. People tell me I don't talk much and am shy.
Despite all this I'm not actually very normal. I live with my parents in my late twenties. I've never dated a man. I don't actually have any deep friendships. I haven't gone out in over 3 years. I live in my head all the time where I've actually created entire fictitious worlds. I worry at times that I'll never manage to fully live like a normal person getting married, having kids, having responsibilities. I feel like I'm not really living.
Warning: this is a thread of the vent category.
Today I woke up from a really strange and disturbing dream. I was in a room with a gamer from twitch/youtube that I watch sometimes. In the dream there were also a bunch of other unidentified people. She was sitting on a couch playing a game called Mother 3 on GBA and I was was sitting next to her watching her play. I was being pretty touchy for some reason and doing stuff like putting my head on her shoulder while watching. Eventually, for some reason unexplained in the dream, she starts using my laptop as a monitor to play the game (but somehow keeps using the GBA as a controller, despite it not being connected to the laptop). Some time after this happens, I start groping her boobs through her shirt. Soon after she turns her head around and we start making out. Nobody in the room seems to be paying attention.
While this was happening, I woke up, confused, and now I can't stop thinking about it.
Men's taste in women
Does anyone else think the average man's taste in women is weirdly pedophilic?
Sure there's plenty of men who like "thick" women but I meet so many men who fetishize petite women and it irks me because they so obviously are attracted to the fact that these women look like teens still.
Am I just paranoid or is there something to it?
The idea of men being essentially women hopped up on take-over-the-world hormones aroused me
my kitten died yesterday. we found him under the couch and my boyfriend pulled him out. he went there to die within 30 minutes and i feel like i failed him. he was said to be 9 weeks but we suspect he was given to us too young. we treated him for worms and fleas and had a vet appointment in two weeks. as soon as i came inside within that time period to feed him dinner and give him another dose of medicine, he was gone. i feel guilty for not being hysterical. i just feel numb. my boyfriend asks “are you not sad?” because i haven’t been crying as much as him. and i am really sad, i miss my baby boy. he was so young. but i’ve only cried on and off randomly, not so often like him. is something wrong with me? it doesnt feel real but hes dead in the other room and we have to bury him later. hes dead hes actually dead but i dont believe it i feel like hes going to come out soon but i cant cry i feel so bad
What's it like being an attractive girl? I feel life would be completely different for me if i was at least a 4/10
Truth not dare
Weird stuff you’ve done?
>be me
>have no passion for anything in life
>depressed
>suicidal
>currently studying something I hate
>no friends
>no social life
>no motivation
>can't even talk to a neighbor because of the anxiety
>currently unemployed
>too old to change my course of life
>no experience
>no family to rely on
Whats the point of living, if each day is so stressful? I have no friends, no interests, no hobbies, no work, no money, no one to talk to. There's just no point in life. I hate every single day and I can't stand being along but I also hate being around people. It's like I can't win at anything.
changing what you are attracted to
I think the short guy fetish I've always had completely ruined my (already very slim) chances at losing my virginity. I live in a country where average male is 6'1. The rare short guys I've met were visibly disgusted by me and reacted negatively when I approached them/asked them out.
Is there any way to get rid of your fetishes/standards? The only thing I can get off to is art or hentai w short men. I've tried masturbating to stuff with taller men but it's like fapping to the thought of a chair. Completely unappealing. I can read romances featuring taller guys (like Kamisama Kiss), but they never get me feeling really excited, I never get the "God I wish that were me" feeling while reading them. Honestly, lots of tall guys I've met irl were super cool, and I'd be all over them if they were short. I'm rlly angry at myself for being so shallow. I know some manlet chasers miners here struggled w the same problem, how did you manage to resolve it? I'm so tired of being constantly rejected by men. Let's help each other out.
GIVE CUTE BF. GIVE GIVE GIVE GIVE GIVE ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
anyone else miss being younger even if getting older has its perks? i miss my childhood the most even if it was bad, and i even get nostalgic on the last few years - i remember when id post here all the time asking for advice on my life, in the end it seemed to fall quite short. and my life is getting progressively more worse in multiple aspects - im getting more isolated and disconnected, both of my parents are tragically ill, ive been through a lot with drugs and i have a horrible eating disorder and not to mention i am terribly ugly. i miss the days when i had more hope, even if things seemed terrible back then too.
moid friend dating lesbian
moid friend's gf messaged me saying she really isn't into men as much as she thought and is losing feelings for said moid.
I'm close enough to both to know this may end poorly.
I also have a crush on her but I will never admit that to them
Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a penis? I don't even necessarily mean the sexual aspect, I just think it would be neat. I also wonder if having one would immediately make me want to fuck and kill things 24/7.
I was fucking put on latuda years ago and ever since it fucked up my emotions completely and caused my head constant brainfog up until now eventhough i quit it as soon as i went on it, the effects of it lasted up until now STILL. i am now forced to be on abilify which i recently had to go on a lower dose of (10mg) because it made me unable to feel anything or get excited or happy about anything,and i am forced to stay on it or else i will apparently go crazy once i get off it and i will get brain damage. this is my life, im going to be stuck emotionless uncaring monster forever.
makeup???
I really want to natuarally look pretty, but I dont mind wearing a bit of natural looking makeup. The thing is, I dont know where to start? any tips for learning how to apply light makeup or any good recs?
overcoming trauma to get ready for marriage
i am a christian, and i was sexually abused in the past. i have been trying to heal from this for awhile, but it’s difficult and still affects me a lot (but it has gotten a lot better.)
i have a really wonderful boyfriend and we love each other so much and want to get married within the next couple months, as soon as the priest will let us pretty much. i know i want to be with him forever and everything and think we are really meant to be together. and i have always wanted to be a wife and mother.
the main thing i am worried about is our wedding night, when you have to have the um marriage act. i get very anxious thinking about it. i don’t see how i can do that, and i don’t want to be looked at without my clothes on or touched. i’m scared that i’ll panic when the time comes and react really badly and make him feel bad. i have a lot of trouble being mature about sex. when he told me he was looking forward to doing that when we were married i just froze up and made a face and looked away, and couldn’t think of anything to say.
i really want to be able to be normal for him because i love him, i just don’t know how to prepare myself for it and what to do to fix my brain. (and don’t say anything immoral like sex before marriage or masturbation or anything) (also i’m unable to go to therapy)
How do I stop being a clingy schizo
Whenever I see my boyfriend talking to other girls I fucking lose my shit, and it’s starting to hurt our relationship.
If any other girl looks at him or talks to him too long/in too much of a friendly tone, it pissed me off so much. I’ve told him this for awhile. He’s humored my tendencies for the most part but it seems like he’s honestly getting worn out or tired of it and I don’t want that.
What brought me to post this something that happened earlier today. Whenever he talks to a girl waiter/server or something, I try to play off my frustration and so I joke and say “so is she your new gf?” Or something similar, then he refutes it then it eventually leads to him telling me he loves me and kissing me and all is well in the world. Well today, when we were driving thru Starbucks the Barista was a girl, so I said my line and waited for him to respond. What happened was he just sighed and muttered “my fucking god” (or something along those lines) and didnt say anything about it. He had this look of just being really done with my shit.
Anyways, what the fuck do I do? Did I fuck up our relationship permanently? Can I fix things with him? He’s the love of my life and I really don’t want to lose him. Has anyone else had similar experiences to this that they’ve had with partners?
Advice for someone looking into dating other girls
I've gone on a date recently with another girl, she's adorable and we have a good amount in common and I can see myself dating her. But I have no idea what the protocol or how exactly courting a girl would work, I'm also really worried that we'll eventually reach some hurdle that a girl/girl couple would struggle to get over. I'm also really worried that when you're dating a woman and you're walking home at night you won't be as safe with another woman than you would be a man, I like this girl but I really am worried of the difficulties that may arise from it.
why would someone actively encourage me to get into tinder and dating? is it cause they see me as a socially left behind autist?
Living with someone with a serious disorder or disability
Part vent, part desperate plea for help…
My boyfriend whom I live with has OCD among other things. It wasn't a problem before, but the past 6 months it has been getting progressively worse. We spend 4-5 hours (possibly more, he cleans when I'm not home, too) cleaning every day. The whole apartment gets cleaned daily. We can't have any decorations because they'll quickly get "dirty" or become "dangerous." any niisefrom the upstairs or next door neighbors are because they're angry at us. Hands must be washed after everything. All surfaces constantly disinfected. If there's any splashing while washing, clothes must be changed, etc. Going out anywhere takes several hours of prep. After coming home, clothes must be taken off in the entryway, then one has to shower, then clean all areas where one walked (and hey, since you're cleaning already…. Do the other rooms, too!)
I desperately want him to get professional help, but he has trauma and is really distrustful of medical professionals. I offered to go to therapy /counseling together (no medications) but he refused.
I have my own disabilities and I know he's had to sacrifice to help me as well, so I'm usually patient and help. But all I do is work, clean, try to sleep but get waken up because something is dirty/dangerous, repeat. Sometimes for an hour or two he is back to his old self but then something happens and we're back to cleaning. It's so frustrating.
And of course I can't talk to anyone about it. I feel so isolated embarrassed, and frustrated that I can't do more and get won't get help.
Is anyone here in a similar situation (as either party)? What do you do? Any advice?
Being bullied in childhood/puberty
>oh no, anon's here
>what did she said?
>stop following us
>what do you want from us?
>we're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you
>I'm not joking, I wish to offend you
>you're not one of us
I wished to die or kill them all each time I heard it. Have you anons been bullied too?
Neet thread?
Is anyone else a neet?
>How long has it been?
>How do you spend your days?
Honestly i'm so hopeless for the future and sad that i do nothing these days. I used to watch tv shows/animes/read mangas to cope when i was younger but they bore me now, same with video games, i never finish them. I despise social media so i don't have them, imageboards are fine sometimes but i feel like the toxicity is getting to me. I just stare at the ceiling and listen to music these days.
>diagnosed with anxiety at age 11
>minor symptoms, barely affects my life
>fast forward 8 years
>in the span of a year develop a major fear of storms and hypochondria, as well as frequent paranoid delusions
What the fuck happened
Shitty friends
How do you deal with them? Do you just cut them off despite a long history? Been misled by someone you thought you could trust?
Got any ridiculous stories?
Looking for advice on how to deal with shitty people who think they do nothing wrong (besides ignoring them)
Seducing guys as a fat girl
Any advice? Even when I'm asking them out they seem to be unsure or just plain not wanting to go out on dates
>catch myself only finding men with feminine or androgynous traits attractive
>keep pushing it off
>keep dating men and be miserable
>realize one day i need to face the fact that im attracted to women and that ill be happier when i do
>nah thats for future me to worry about
how the fuck do I get over all my internalized misogyny. majority of my friends are male or trans women because of my interests. Didn't have many female figures in my life. I browsed image boards for too long and absorbed too much incel culture. how do you make woman friends? how do you allow yourself to be able to be emotionally intimate with another woman? I just want to be happy dammit.
I have drank two fairly big glasses of wine and that has caused me to become too afraid of dying in my sleep to go to sleep. Why am i like this?
Dealing with aging
I'm in my late 20s and now I miss being younger and more naive and feel like I lost my opportunity to have cute stereotypically female experiences. I mingle with much younger people sometimes due to shared hobbies (weeb stuff) and I realize that I feel way too old for it (and them). It makes me feel bitter about missing out on all the fun stuff because I feel like I wasted my entire youth being depressed and anxious. I really dread becoming even older.
How does this make you feel
I feel like garbage.
https://twitter.com/kthsk8tr/status/1309556190586843136
Vent thread
We've hit post limit on >>41254 so we can continue here, talk about your problems and vent your frustrations
Have any of you girls ever have success with getting a cute bf by becoming an arthoe? I feel like my current fashion style is too generic to stand out. So I might try it or maybe the goth look idk
Can we talk about depression cliches?
Does depression seem to be more common these days? Is it because people are less likely to force themselves just to get on with things? Or is it that people are more open about how they feel?
Does improving exercise/eating better/fixing sleep schedule etc actually work? Or are people right when they say it's brain chemistry and you need medication? Can you actually think yourself better by improving your mindset? Is it more important to solve the issues causing your depression instead of numbing your feelings?
Is there a level of privilege associated with depression and being able to do nothing? Can someone struggling to make ends meet in a third world country really suffer depression in the same way as someone in a first world country with a parental safety net?
I'm genuinely curious and not trying to lead the conversation either way.
My husband of three years wants to make our relationship "open".
Hating Women (internalized misogyny?)
I'm a woman yet I hate women. I'm filled with rage around them and I become jealous quickly and with vigor. I don't know if I hate the idea of femininity or just "women". I can't explain it. It's usually a hatred for normie/basic women, ones who are happy and content and shit. Maybe it's pure jealousy?
I have mommy issues if that's relevant lol.
What do I do? How do I stop hating women? I feel sick. I want to support my sisters but everything screams at me to tear them down instead. I just feel sick.
I grew up chubby with a plain face and nobody ever paid attention to me. Now I have a boyfriend and irl guys never bat an eye at me. I want other men to find me attractive so that I don't feel like my bf is settling for me and I want him to feel proud to be dating me and want to show me off to other guys. I'm scared that if/when I glow up (I'm overweight and losing) I'll start to get attention from other men and I won't know how to handle being attractive for the first time in my life and do something stupid. How do I make sure I don't become a ho
rebounding
i stopped interacting with r9k moids a long time ago and it has helped my mental health greatly not being in a toxic misogynistic environment and being the token girl
but the worse part is trying to interact with normal people again w/o the autistic shit i had habits of before, and the mannerisms and behaviors i have acquired from it. i recently just joined /soc/ servers again bc i can't handle constantly holding a facade and being surrounded by such fragile people. i feel like im slowly integrating myself again into degenerate 4chan stuff again
how the fuck can i interact with normies? how can i hold healthy relationships with people? i cannot imagine being close to anyone who hasn't acquired the same behaviors i have
im losing my mind being so bored and dissatisfied with the people im speaking to. i want excitement and laughs again not lolcows who have a breakdown over the word femboy and post minecraft trans bee
it's been so long since i disconnected myself from the community but i still hold the same mannerisms and behavior. wtf do i do? can i ever truly recover from years of internet autism?
Female autogynephilia
Don't know where to post this, but does anyone else here relate to autogynephilia despite being a woman? I grew up scrawny and ugly with a visible illness that made me even uglier, didn't grow curves until my late teens, had very thin and dry hair due to said illness and only wore clothes that would make me invisible. Nobody acknowledged me as a girl until later in life and even then I was only approached by guys who sensed my insecurity and awkwardness and got off on me being "weird". Growing up I romanticized the experience of being a girl that was perceived as such, I was obsessed with femininity. I envied classmates with pretty faces or long hair, asked them to wear it down more, had a dislike for short haircuts or ponytails. I couldn't understand why someone who had everything I wanted to have wouldn't be proudly displaying it. I was so obsessed with women that I identified as lesbian for some time, while also longing to be desired by boys. I fooled around with bicurious classmates who would come for sleepovers with benefits but shunned me at school. I know this sounds like a stupid moid fantasy, but it was extremely confusing for me. I thought I loved women, but craved the validation of men. To this day I don't know if I'm straight or bi. I started doing art and had women model for me, so I was always surrounded by pretty women while being mousy and too self-conscious to try to make the best of my features. I have awkward body language and never learned how to do flattering makeup because I can't stand to look into a mirror for too long. When I date women, I miss men and vice versa. I could stare at women forever but sex with them leaves me feeling awkward and like something's missing, meanwhile when I have sex with men my experience is based entirely on feeling like a real, desirable woman by making the man desire me and get off on me. I often wonder if I'm really into girls or if I just fetishize living vicariously through a desirable woman and crave being validated by lesbian women as the ultimate confirmation that I am perceived as female. I compensate for my childhood experiences so hard I refuse to wear pants, resent everything that could make me look androgynous, I even experience what tranners call gender euphoria when people refer to me as she or girl and thus validate me in even the smallest way. I've never had normie men ask me out, I've never received flowers or a valentine's something or had a normal classic first date, and I know that's the case for many girls (especially here) but it's like I need the validation to feel like I'm a real woman because I've been deprived that experience for so long. I feel crazy and like I have no real identity because everything I do is a calculated effort to be desirable and feminine.
I'm 26 now and someone very important to me who's been there for me for the past decade is now gone
I feel lost
How can I find a therapist/psychologist who does not just deal with normies and could actually help me? I really wanna go to one, but have no idea what to look for :(
Why is life so unfair? I literally cant wear the types of clothes that i want just because im not the type to wear them and would look straight up weird in addition to unattractive. I dont wanna live if my chances for achieving the social status im wishing for are limited. I cant help but feel like some people are fundamentally defects. Why has nature come to create beings unable to achieve what they strive for?
I hate my career. I hate finance and business. I really do.I'm so bored. What should I do? I've already given up another career and I'm not sure what career to follow.
I still dont know what i want in life
Nothing feels enough. Not beauty, wealth, admiration or love. I go through periods of sticking to different extreme life philosophies and always return to emptiness. Maybe its a part of being young. But its gotten to the point where i cant trust any of my long-term decisions and im starting to suspect its going to be like this forever. Its just hard to imagine ever reching a conclusion and finding happiness with the way that i am.
What stage are you all in in regards to finding meaning???
How do I even know if an internet friend likes talking to me?
I have this internet friend that I have been friends with for a couple of months. She's really nice and we have a lot in common but.. Over the past couple of months it's always me who has to start the conversations. Sometime's we'll be talking and she just doesn't respond for days, or just never, until I say Hi again. Our conversations are also a little dry. She has voicechatted with me too and she always says it'd be really cool to meet sometime in real life.But.. I don't know. Maybe she's just being nice? Maybe she's busy? Or maybe she doesn't enjoy chatting with me at all. I don't know frens.. I just wish I wasn't so confused
>tfw no smarter faster stronger bf to explain coexponential types, transfer operators and esoteric Vajryana to me
I just want to smoke pot and solve math equations.
At what point does paranoia become a diagnosable problem?
Since I was around 11 years old I've been very on guard around people and their intentions, enough to the point that I ghosted an online best friend because I was paranoid about her (shitty, I know. we talked it out later though) I think it started because I was bullied and backstabbed in a major way in elementary school.
Now, I am still very paranoid, but it's gotten worse and spread to aspects of my life that aren't purely social. Cameras in my apartment, neighbours spying on me, religious stuff (I was raised atheist), superstitions, and a slight odd fear of even numbers? I can't trust anybody – men especially. I always think that men are going to harm me physically. I'm still functional due to the fact that I know most of this stuff is probably me freaking out for no reason.
I can't imagine anybody genuinely wanting to talk to me without an ulterior motive. I always feel like the people I know are banding together to fuck me over in a major way or hurt me. This really fucking sucks because I isolate myself from everybody just to keep myself safe or because I feel like they hate me, but all I want is a bf and a stable irl friend group.
I have a slight family history of schizophrenia but that relative was fairly distant. I don't hallucinate or anything like that, so I'm not sure what this is, or if it's just anxiety.
Are there any ways to deal with this? Is this a chronic problem I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life? Is there even hope for me to have a healthy relationship?
Hikki/NEET Diaries
I wanted to make a thread to blogpost about being a Hikikiomori or a NEET, mainly to be able to talk about how you're progressing and to help with accountability.
I've tried journalling for a long time but I always fall off because it feels pointless to write long pages to myself that no one will ever read.
Post ITT: How your day has been, woes of being a neet/hikki, things you've achieved lately, your fears, and goals.
Dopamine addiction
How do i increase willpower and focus?
What to do if you have a crush on your straight best mate? Anyone here ever had this issue? If so what did you do?
advice please?
so i finally did it. i made friends. im in a really sweet friend group of 5 other girls, but i’m super scared to fuck it up. it’s been 2 days and it’s going well, but that lingering thought of it all being temporary doesn't leave my mind. this is my path out of hikikomori-dom but i’m too scared to ruin it, so i stay quiet a lot even though that’s the opposite of what i should do if i want to make friends :/ i’ve been ignored for so long that it kinda all feels surreal now
i’ve been feeling so much better and now i walk home like a dumbass with a smile on my face
any advice to stop the autisms from fucking it up? thank u :)
Internet SO's
(some slight bladerunner 2049 spoilers but not really)
Just came back from across the country today from a week-long vacation visiting my "internet boyfriend"- a guy I met on another chan that I fell in love with and went to meet IRL for the first time. It was insanely bizarre– to go from videochatting every single day to actually being able to touch and hold and caress and sex him.It was everything I'd hoped it would be, but now that I'm back in this crappy part of the world and away from him it is so painful. Part of me thinks it was a mistake to allow myself to fall in love with someone I met online, but another part recognizes that this is life and living and love is never painless.
We saw the new blade runner together and that moment when the wAIfu was disconnected from the house and started walking around and experiencing things felt so real to me. It was like Her, except in real life.
I don't think I can bear to be apart from him anymore. It is so painful and I feel so physically alone now, all by myself in a city with no friends.
Share other similar experiences? How do you deal with this?
Suppose your friend was having an affair with her married boss, how should she end the relationship? What would be the exact words, what to say to prevent drama and keep the job? (She's a barmaid.)
How do I become less judgmental and more accepting of other people's POV and opinion? I don't think I'm better than others, but if I can't find common ground on some subjects, it ruins the entire person for me. For example making excuses for shitty people or having hobbies that seem goofy to me.
what's wrong with me? i'm the only one ruining my life but i can't stop. i want to be the best version of myself but i can't stop self-sabotaging
Questions To Ask Potential Dates
I want to try and start dating again. What are some questions I should be asking my dates really early on, in order to weed out the bad men? Any other tips for psychoanalyzing the mods?
I have two so far:
1. Are you Christian?
2. Do you have siblings? Any sisters?
Me and this guy met on tider. We’ve been talking for a week and have seen each other in person 3 times. He really wants to have sex with me and gets halfies during our hardcore makeout seshs. We like the same shit. Anime, 4chan, paganism. I feel like I’m being too easy cause last night he played around with my boobs. I don’t know how to feel. I want to have sex, but I don’t want to be a easy little whore. I don’t want him to think low of me, even though he’s seen my breast. I want to disappear and just ghost him so badly right now. I just want to have a relationship.
Friend & siblings
This is something that has been eating me for a while. I have a very deep crush for the brother of my best friend from childhood. We have really good chemistry and lately we have become very close, it's getting harder with each passing day to suppress the need to confess or take steps at this point. To be honest there isn't any reason not to, except that I'm very insecure about how my friend will react to this.
She means everything to me, we have been together in everything, I wouldn't have with whom to share my happiness nor my sorrow. If she somehow doesn't approve our relationship or gets mad at me I wouldn't forgive myself for trading her trust and friendship for something that feels selfish or just wrong, but it is definitely what my heart wants.
So I am kind of desperate to hear if anyone has experiences similar to mine or if you have heard of such cases. How did it go? Is my fear just stupid? A part of me believes I'm overthinking and even if she's against it she'll grow to accept it over time.
the one who got away
do any of you know how this concept really works? did any of you lose a really great guy? is he coming back ever? pls share stories
anyone from portugal? i always see other girls act too bitchy when trying to pick up guys and I dont get it
Gaslighting
Gaslighting seems to be a really common tactic among men to use against women, especially ones who get angry and vent by taking it out on others. Men in my life regularly use manipulative tactics and lie to try and make me feel bad about myself or tell me that things that happen to me are deserved. My boyfriend constantly says edgy shit about women and upsets me and then just calls me sensitive. It happens on 4chan and even on this board. We're told we're crazy for finding certain behaviours and thoughts repulsive, and we're not allowed to criticise them. If we even try doing the same thing to them we get swamped by accusations of being 'crazy'. It's all too much. I'm sick of being painted as crazy or angry for trying to get people to give a shit about my feelings and understand me.
Anyone else have this problem?
who /lazy/ here
I'm starting a new job soon but I really don't want to go back to work
Betrayal
I am a part of a gang of friends. One of my friends really betrayed my trust. What can I consider as acceptable from my other friends, knowing that they know the situation and acknowledge that it wasn’t right?
I tried to treat her like normal tho there was no accountability from her side. She blamed instead for overreacting and my other friends agreed with me that I didn’t. On group chats, I can talk to her but seeing her today, I felt ultimately disgusted.
Every single one of you is Beautiful
Yeah. Even you
In your life there is at least 5 people who care about you.
Talk to men, get active in hobbies, and take care of yourselves. Drink plenty of water. I want to see every single one of you succeed. You can do it. I know you can. You know it, too.
Godspeed, anons. We're all gonna make it.
Vent thread
>>38741 last thread reached bump limit so I thought it would be a good idea to make a new one
A thread for talking about your problems and venting your frustrations.
>well over 33 years of age
>still single
At least I'm still good looking
How do you want to do stuff
I just cba to do anything. All the things I was into like anime, movies, make-up, fashion, braiding, even pointless shit like watching anime and drinking just feels boring to me. I am always like "yeah I will do X later I cannot right now" and later usually never comes.
Only thing I enjoy nowadays is taking long contemplative walks at night or in a forest by myself so that i feel scared and unsafe. The danger is the only thing that makes me feel alive. Also smoking I guess.
Maybe it is just depression but I used to be a lot more depressed some years back when I did all that suff, nowadays I just feel sort of disappointed and bored.
Do not make threads about the following topics:
- Race/Ethnicity/Nationality (including stereotypes & preferences)
- Religion
If you want to talk about Radfem/TERF/Gendercritical themes, do not make a new thread. Use the existing threads and keep discussion civil. You can read my thoughts on a radfem board here: >>>/meta/2962
>>>/b/62606 Pinkpill thread
>>>/b/9156 Transwomen general
>>>/b/59700 TERF Memes/shittalking
I took a plan b on the 7th of this month. I had my period on the 1st, but yesterday I started it again? I don’t know. I don’t know if my body is reacting to the plan b or I’m having a miscarriage or WHAT is going on. I was supposed to have it in THREE weeks, yet here I am having it the week after the other one. Kinda scared
/asdgen/ - Autism Spectrum Disorder general
How many cafe goers are on the spectrum? Autism presents itself differently in women and is heavily underdiagnosed and/or misdiagnosed among women. Share your experiences, thoughts, or feelings about your experience with autism in this general.
Vent Thread
A thread for getting things off your chest, say what's on your mind, organize your thoughts, anything goes.
We reached bump limit. Old thread: >>35766
The "Sorry" Thread
Have you ever wanted to apologise to someone but never had the chance or courage? Do you want to rehearse your words before you go through it? Just wanna vent on an apologetic note?
Write your feelings away.
Self Harm (and related) General
I haven't seen one yet and I want to discuss that shit.
Let's not post pics, though, don't think the mods would allow it anyway.
Questions:
>Do you self harm?
>How do you do it? (cutting, punching, burning, etc.)
>What's the longest clean streak you've had?
>Do you have any tips on how to keep the urges at bay?
>Does it stem from your mental health issues if you have any?
Kind of side thing, but do any of you know how to be less of a toxic girlfriend? Whenever I relapse my boyfriend gets upset at me and I get spun the fuck out and treat people like shit. I don't really care about treating others badly, but I don't want him to leave me.
Medication/anti-depressants thread
Who else here is medicated? I've been on sertralin for a couple months now and I hate it. I feel nauseous and my appetite and enjoyment of food has completely left me, I've lost a good deal of weight. Anyone else here have any experience with anti depressants?
Actual women's sexuality
I thought I was asexual until my 20s because main stream sexuality is so male gaze-y (woman must always be pretty and perfect, sex isn't about emotional connection but domination/consuming her, porn influenced sex).
It seems even the stuff geared towards women isn't really authentic. Romance is boring and just feels like a script for the guy to follow, or borders on creepy stalky shit. I read some fanfiction but it's mostly written by people who haven't had sex or relationships yet kek.
I'm fucking frustrated, I want to have a good time but it seems men's sexuality fucks everything up. How do you even know if a guy wants to have non porny sex, without coming off as "slut"? Is there tells?
Being a fangirl as femcel cope
Any other femcels here who throw themselves into worshipping boybands as a distraction from loneliness?
I’ve realized this is a common cope for Asian femcels. The virginity rates in Japan are 25% for females aged 18-39. The beauty standards are so high and you have to be very thin (around 37-45kg is ideal) extra pretty & under 25 to really compete in the dating market there. Not to mention a lot of the guys are coomers married to their 2D waifus, and prostitution is everywhere in China, Korea and Japan. I feel really sad for East Asian women in this regard. So I can totally understand why they prefer to obsess over boy group members who represent the ideal boyfriend to them.
I’m 27 now and have been following boybands since 2007. I tried online dating for a while but each guy I met was awful or ended up ghosting me and I gave up and am now back to being fangirl. Yes some might say it’s kinda sad or pathetic for a woman my age but I really can’t see an alternative now. I really relate to these lonely single women, who have to resort to a fantasy ideal of a boyfriend. At least it’s fun. I’ve met a lot of really sweet female friends through concerts, and am considering staying in Japan or Korea on a work visa so I can attend more. If you are prone to maladaptive daydreaming and such anyway it’s a pretty good cope.
in love with best friend's girlfriend
i think im in love with my best moid friend's gf. we buy each other gifts and call each other wife but i cant tell if its genuine or just girls joking about marrying each other. she's so affectionate towards me and calls her bf stupid, vents to me about him sometimes.
really scared about homewrecking but also scared i am misreading her.
Men in groupwork
It gets so fucking tiring to keep having to handle men's triggeredness and pettiness. Literally all you have to do is not use nicey filler words that women are expected to use, "hopefully that makes sense?" "in my personal opinion…" "I could be wrong but…" "I think maybe we should…"
They get a personal grudge if you don't act completely submissive. Not to mention all the blatant idea stealing, I say my idea and it gets ignored, then literally 3 seconds later some dude steals it and they pat each other on the dick "yeah that's a great idea!" Hard not to sperg out. I hate the islam ones especially, acting especially pissy because they think women should be kept in the house. Petty fucking shits.
Careers
I am in software company and was just promoted to a manager position after being a software engineer for several years.
I don't like being non-technical but it's the only way I can progress up in our company.
The issue is, several people on my team have asked to transfer out already when word hit and one already put his two weeks in.
What do I do?
When did sex positivity turn into shaming women with social issues?
why do i hate my own gender so much
pic unrelated, it isn't jealousy..because I know I am beautiful, but so are like a million others girls and anyones beauty doesn't mean lack of the others.
I am super fem..so why do girls just..piss me off. I want to like women more, have more female friends. But it's just so hard.
And this isn't 'not like other girls', cuz again im super girly nd shit…
look yourself in the mirror right now and ask yourself if who you see could be someone’s mother
What’s one wish you would make?
who is going to save you anon?
i have never cum from having sex with a man. even when i was extremely attracted to him. i dont take antidepressants or birth control. am i retarded? genetic dead end? ? should i just kms?
Femcel Pottery Thread — NO STACIES ALLOWED
>every ugly woman is a mirror of cruelty
>a flesh-paned silver screen faulty
>for every man that looks upon her face
>and sees her irredeemable disgrace
>cannot refrain from hurling hate
>at a woman with no chance to ingratiate
>eyes that follow, eyes that taunt,
>eyes that cross, lacrimate, and haunt—
>with those eyes bear witness to
>the common tragedy of the dioecious:
>from the rakes who rent whores
>to the flowering spores of the lepidobotryaceae
>males only want stacy
hot asian guy at grad school. he scowls all the time, acts fake polite to people to get them to stop bothering him, and leaves as soon as he can. he doesn't have a girlfriend. how do you get his attention?
Any femcels here
>Whats stopping you from not being a femcel
For me its not like there aren't any guys that are into me it's just that its hard for me to connect socially with people.
has anyone gotten professional help for any of these issues
>paranoia
>depersonalization/dissociation
>cptsd
>sexual assault
i'm trying to get a feel for what to expect when i dump my issues on a therapist
i guess emphasis on the first 2 because that has been preventing me from going, to the extent that i keep cancelling/not showing up
Men hating obsession
>tfw i can't stop thinking about how much I hate men
>tfw my internal monolouge consists only of the phrase "I hate men"
>tfw I can't read or think or concentrate on anything else but my hatred for men
what's wrong with me? why is my brain so fucked up? do I have OCD?
How do I escape the sneaking feeling that my boyfriend doesn't really care about me and wouldn't care about me if I was less physically endowed?
How do I screen men who just want to use me for sex? I want love but I'm terrified of being pump and dumped and discarded.
I'm new to dating so this feels like a minefield and like I will just be used no matter what I do.
Is it wrong to want someone else's bf? I have a pair of friends who are dating but I really like one of them and I feel bad for wishing they would break up so I could have a chance. I feel like a terrible friend just thinking about it. I would hate to see them break up since I know how much they love each other but my feelings clash pretty often on this.
>crashed my first car the first time i drove it
>had my license revoked for a while
>got fired from job for doing dumb impulsive shit
>consistently forget to take my meds
>don't take care of my body
why the fuck do i do this to myself? why do i keep self sabotaging? i can't get a job, nobody likes me, and i'm unattractive in every aspect. every time to try to do something good i fuck it up without fail and i'm not even allowed to kill myself. i don't even want to go into any career because it's just a matter of time before i fuck that up too. god i fucking hate myself
Anyone bipolar here? What have you been trying to achieve during your mania episodes?
>gift dad his portrait as a surprise present
>he smiles, says thank you, and goes back to doing his stuff
Daddy doesn’t love me confirmed
I don't like who I am, the hand I was dealt, and my place in the world.
I wish I skinwalking was a thing and I could just become someone else.
Does his heart belong to the pussy, or to your whole person?
How can you know?
My husband is watching porn
I'm a 24 years old married French anon, my husband is 28, we are in relationships since 4-5 years with no big problem.
A few day ago, my curiosity pushed me to check his phone's web history (when he was asleep lol).
I discovered that almost 1 day on 2, he is watching porn sites.
What's puzzled me the most is the researches he made : "sister" and "teen"
What's the psychology behind "sister" and "teen" porn?
I can't stop thinking about that.
I feel disgusted.
I don't want to talk/ask to him about that.
Advice?
Ps: pardon my English
Hate my little brother
I'm in my early 20s and he's still in elementary school. We have very similar features and health issues, and my parents treat him way fucking better than me. Pretty sure it's due to the fact that he's a male, they're retarded ass traditionalists. While they yelled at me to stop complaining about my health problems growing up, they listen to him and take him to doctors, meanwhile I have to fucking deal with the long term consequences of them not giving a shit about me. They buy him everything he wants, praise him for doing good at school… I want to fucking sperg out every time I have to see him being treated so much shitting better. They're delusional if they think I'm going to help or care for them or my brother, as soon as I suck them dry of college money I'm ghosting. Fucking bye you misogynistic shit stains, you reap what you sow. I hope your pwecious widdle son gets addicted to videogames and porn and fails at life, because that's the road he's going if he keeps being so fucking coddled. Little shit demands his mom feeds him while he watches the tv because 'he doesn't want to look away'.
NEETS
I know you're out there! Lets share some NEET feels and talk about our situation.
>why are you a NEET?
>how long have you been a NEET for?
>do you like it? why or why not?
>have you ever tried to do anything to change your situation?
>how much longer do you see yourself living this way for?
>how do you spend your free time?
Has it happened to you?
Any other autist here who feels like everyone hates them
Whenever I talk to people I'm paranoid of making a social mistake and I compasate with being kind of a kissass
Was bullied hard at school for being an autist and I'm so afraid of failing like this again
Every time I talk to other I think wow I propable embarrassed myself and they dislike me
Sexuality
Is it normal to start having sexual feelings about a different sex than I have previously liked at a late teen age? I have way passed puberty, but some things are…stirring in me about women. Is this normal to have? Thanks anons.
Prematurely ageing
The stuff that my dermatologist gave me for my acne gave me noticeable premature wrinkles, and I STILL have acne, woohoo. I kept making sure with her, and she just brushed it off as normal, no big deal, your skin will become normal once the treatment is over. F-ing liar. I hate this. I look like 7 years older. I don't have the best looking face and this made me even more depressed. Whenever I try to improve it just blows up in my face, either by bad luck or people treating me shitty because of obvious autistic body language, thinking that they can get away with it.
Bisexual feels
Dear miners, help me out?
I'm so confused by my sexuality. I admitted to myself that I'm attracted to girls when I was 14 and came out as lesbian to my family because I didn't know bisexuality was a real thing. Later I realized that and have been living as bi ever since (10+ years). I never dealt with anything but casual homophobia and have had a supportive environment.
I have been in love with several women and several men, but the majority of my dating experience has been with men. I'm a femme who likes other femmes, so it's hard to be recognized as a wlw without outright stating it, so that may have something to do with it. Dating men is easy. But I'm not attracted to male bodies; I can appreciate a handsome face and a good body, but when it comes to women, I can find something attractive or endearing in almost any of them. On the other hand, I don't have as much of a sex drive with women - though I wonder if my sex life with men is tainted by my need for validation, so I have more sex to be a sexy sex-having cool girl, not because I want it all the time? Man, I don't know. I do know that I prefer penises, but I haven't had an ongoing sexual relationship with a woman, only long-distance dating or flings, so there is a lot left to discover.
I wonder if I can ever be truly happy dating one or the other. When I'm with a man, I miss femininity, but I'm drawn to the easier social structures that come with heterosexual relationships and being pursued and submitting to the man, so to speak. I guess I have a lot of internalized sexism to deal with, but that's another story. When it comes down to it though, f/f relationships seem so right and true to me, and I fear that I may just be buying into the romantization of lesbian relationships. I feel like such a fraud and like I can't be happy either way. I currently have a boyfriend and he doesn't mind me being with girls casually, but he wouldn't like me being emotionally involved with someone else no matter their gender.
What am I? Do I keep dating men and missing being with a woman? Do I date women and feel like a fraud for being less sexual and missing dick?
Is it true that most women are doomed to be submissive to their partner? I pride myself in being an independent person who isn't afraid to speak their mind. I'm 25 and haven't had a boyfriend since early high school. I'd like to imagine I wouldn't be the kind of person who just does whatever my partner says or values his opinion more highly than mine. I'm a virgin but I enjoy femdom porn a fair amount…
The issue I have is that i'm deeply afraid that when I get into a relationship, it'll melt away and i'll be like every other girl who lets the male take charge in everything. I've heard stories about "strong women" who end up loving being submissive to men when they actually get into relationships. I also feel like in general it would be very hard to find a man who isn't into being some macho dominant guy who doesn't care what his partner thinks. I'd like to think that the ideal relationship for me is a 50/50 relationship, one where I truly feel equal to my partner. We both respect each others opinions, we're willing to share duties, we're willing to switch things up sexually, etc. I mean a real emphasize on equal, I do not want some wimpy submissive boy who just wants me to mommy them. I still want a real man, just one that doesn't expect to dominate everything in my life.
So, are all women doomed to enjoy being submissive to men? And is it realistic to find a male who truly wants an equal relationship?
girl discord
Anyone want to be in a female only discord. I don't have many female friends.
Stuff that'd be fun that I like:
Anime, art, video games, etc.
BDD
Has anyone here had bdd before and gotten over it? How? Or rather, how can you tell if you are just ugly instead of "having bdd". Gemeral bdd thread
creepy coworker
I work in a male dominated job, unfortunately they are very immature.
I'm short and shy which makes me an easy target. There is an older man, he is old enough to be my dad, who seems to be really interested in me for sick mental pleasures. I don't believe he is into me physically just the psychological aspect.
I'm easily rattled, I can give others a reaction easily. Which sucks. I'm still working on that. I'm improving though :) so I'm proud of myself for that. I feel a bit more stronger and confident on controlling my reactions. It's hard trying still, in such a toxic environment. So I'm pretty sure he likes that about me. Thing is, I have a "crush" on him which makes it worse. And everyone at work knows that cause word got out (yea I was stupid to confide in someone).
AND my department is also part of this. Trying to make me think about him, saying his name when I'm around. I try to avoid him, such as eating lunch later and taking my breaks later. Avoiding eye contact, acting emotionless. He used to sit right in front of me in the break room in my first few months of working there, we talked eventually there wasn't much to talk about since he's a really uninteresting boring person and doesn't engage much in what I'd say. So he started to sit right behind me, on my right side. So pretty much close behind… Which is really creepy for my creepiness level.
When I used to talk to him, most of the time it would be confusing. Or just one sided. Either he won't respond much and just react or he'd be the one talking and trying to get a reaction out of me. He would talk about something then eventually something random and purposely say something off guard and I would be like "what???" then just smile at me. Just confusing, like he has a lot on his mind and needs to spill it all out at once. Or I would talk about anything and he'd make an inflated/random answer to something simple. Like he's weird and crazy. He is well liked by everyone else so I guess popular. Charming, funny. Ugh I hate it. I hate that I like him and that I'm really f*cking frustrated at him and myself for that!
Worst part is that he has a kid! AND A WIFE. And he is doing this! I have a boyfriend!
Recently he flicked part of my hair while I was taking my break. He passed by behind me to his creepy viewing spot. So I turned around and said in the most valley girl assertive tone "I have a boyfriend, don't touch me!" Then he proceeded to blame the wind on that. I really want to punch his face with a metal pole. Next time I want to humiliate him in front of everyone else, just like he is doing to me. I don't believe I'm stooping to his level because I'm confronting him albeit in a mean way idc. I don't want to report to HR unless its dire necessary. I want to take this on my own till then. So girls, what is a way to break down a man with a sense of inflated ego?
I just felt like i never truly had any friends. The people around me kept come and go for one reason or another no matter how well i treat them.
Im really jealous of people that have life long friendships, big circles of friend that they can talk to at anytime of the day, their message notification kept vibrating all day long,…i always thought that im already gotten used to the fact that im not a charmer and every friendship i had was either end in flames or we just grew apart. No one seem to stick around with me, I felt like im forever cursed with not ever having a big or intimate friend circle. Im destined to be alone…
I would only want a boyfriend from 4chan r9k which fucks me over. I have much easily available guys IRL interested in me but them being normie just makes me so disinterested to even be friends with them let alone date.
What has your experiences been with dating from 4chan?
First time dating
My bf doesn't wash his hair. It's so greasy and gross. His main physical appeal is that he looks cute, but he started balding. All he talks about are racing games. He isn't interested in anything I like, and he never took me out on a dinner date (I took him out to the zoo though, it was fun). All we do is hang out at his place (he lives with his mom and she does every chore for him, he doesn't know how wash his clothes or clean the bathroom, and he is 23) or sometimes at my flat. I just watch him play racing games for a couple of hours, we cuddle, and then I leave. He's my first boyfriend ever so I was so excited, but I just don't know… Is that how dating is supposed to be like?
I really want to experience pregnancy and put my seemingly healthy organs to good use, but I don’t want kids of my own and no surrogacy agencies will accept me because I’ve never given birth. What do?
How do fuck do you study without getting distracted? I know anxiety is a meme, but I get so overwhelmed with everything and just go on my phone for 2 hours like a failure
Waiting for a relationship
Have any of you waited to be with someone? Whether it be your choice or theirs?
Right now i'm in a situation where I like someone and they like me back but I don't feel like it's a good idea to get into a relationship just because of our circumstances where we would be LDR for a long time. I've known him for a little over a year. I know what he looks like, sounds like but i'm too scared to give him the same yet he likes me. I'm genuinely ugly and am scared he wouldn't like it. I fear rejection more than anything, i'm already suicidal but I feel like if this boy rejected me for my looks which is something I can't entirely handle it would definitely put me on the brink of suicide and I don't know if I could stop myself. Additionally, while we both like each other we're both incredible losers (both KHHV long term neets) but he is actually handsome albeit f*t currently and know he could do so so much better than me and I feel it's unfair for him to be in a relationship for me. And the final thing is that I kind of don't feel like if I were to get into a relationship, I wouldn't feel like self improving. As much as I like the idea of being whisked away by a guy and kind of not have to think i'm too paranoid and scared of being put in a situation where if we were to break up a year or more later, I would be left at square 1 and still be the huge loser I am just with a heartbreaking experience with my first bf which would likely make me end it all. I'm so incredibly conflicted on dating him. I've told him pretty much all of this yet he keeps pushing me, he keeps telling me it will be okay and that he doesn't care about my looks and that he believes I can self improve. It's very tempting to give in but my shitty morals stop me from doing it. I feel like I am possibly pissing away one of the best opportunities i'll ever have in my life but i'm too scared to commit. I wanted to make a simple thread but I ended up venting a fuck ton. I don't have any other friends besides him, I don't have anyone to vent to.
Any advice on what I should try to do?
Have you ever been in a rebound relationship?
Was it any good?
>freshman year of college
>no job prospects
>no romantic prospects
>still live at home
>no friends
it's all down hill from here isn't it
If men are so bad at sex, why do women have sex with them?
Night Time Thread
Night is a blessing and a curse. The comfiest time and emptiest time. What are you doing awake? Enjoying the quiet? Regrets eating at you?
Please only post if it's night time for you. Night requires a special haven.
Anyone get out of a depression recently?
Maybe this isn't the appropriate place to post this.
But there are probably a few of you out there? It's weird having a new excitement about the world, but not knowing how to function properly to act on it.
I hooked up a few days ago with a dear friend of mine. After I left his house I felt a terrible amount of guilt and have been puking ever since. I feel as if I forced him to do something, even though he was the one who started kissing me. I feel like he hates me because he has seen my body. I am terribly afraid that I might start to feel something towards him. It's been years since I've ever felt affection or similar emotions, and I can't stand it. My head hurts from puking so much. I've already had 3 panic attacks in two days and I've run out of pills. I know he hates me. He thinks I'm disgusting. I know it, It's just a gut feeling I'm getting. What should I do? Should I simply forget about him and move on? I've never felt this way towards someone, I am very afraid I don't know what to do. I'm sorry for the long text, but I need some advice.
I think my bf has ADHD. How can i help?
I think my boyfriend has ADHD/autism. He shows many symptoms but he doesnt want to get a diagnosid or go to a doctor about it because of stigma (he feels really bad about the possibility of having it so he diesnt want to get looked at) Weve been together for a long time and by observing him i can see that having professional guidance on the matter could be really helpful for his life. What can i do? Should i try to convince him or should i leave the matter alone (his body his choice but getting looked at would mean a lot to me).
What do i do?????
I had a bad childhood, and as a result as a teenager, I acted out in ways that I now regret. This continued up until my mid twenties. I can see now that I didn't have any real friends and unintentionally hurt some people because I was so used to being hurt myself.
I have a good life now and have put a lot of distance physically and mentally between myself and my past. However, I feel that no matter how hard I try, I'm still stuck with the painful memories inside my head. Even the smallest inconsequential word can trigger a related memory.
How can I cut the first 25 odd years out of my head permanently?
what do i do when my fp starts dating someone? has this happened to anyone else? how did you feel?
BPD replies only please
how do I help her?
I work in the office and since my PC at home broke I stay there a lot after my work hours to use the computers. I'm pretty sure I was the last one on my floor today when I found a note left on a piece of paper in the toilet. Translated it was something along the lines 'please help! I'm trapped, respond if you can help me…'. I went back to my room, took some post it notes, wrote 'how can I help you?' and left it in the toilet along with a pen.
what do I do? due to how it looked I'm sure it wasn't a joke. It was left on purpose, at the time when the whole building is usually empty. People from the cleaning service don't speak language it was written in and I'm afraid they will bin both notes and a pen when they do the cleaning over night.
what do I do? I'm so worried that if she won't find her and my notes in the morning she won't reach out again
How do make normie female friends?
Normie as in: “basic”, probably extroverted, uses lots of social media, not super politically-charged, straight/ maybe bi, not a hardcore weeb or gamer, etc.
If it helps, I’m in uni and looking to join clubs and be social
Has anyone here suffered from an eating disorder in the past and recovered? Or are you suffering from one now and trying to recover?
How do you deal when the eating disorder thoughts start to get really bad or when you see something that really triggers you? I'm having a really tough time right now, I think I'm relapsing.
anyone else here just have no friends? i mainly mean irl friends. but ive gotten to the point in my life where even my close internet friends are too busy to talk to me because they found real life friends. im not bitter about that, i think its healthy and theyre way happier. but its just reminded me that i don't really have that, even though i've always wanted that. i have one irl friend but i can tell we're growing apart, fast. shes into partying and all that and thats just not me. id love to join a club or something but.. i had a bad experience with the last club i joined(my fault) and my schedule makes anything like that difficult. where my lonely bitches at?
Cosy things
Name or provide an image of something that makes you feel cosy.
What are really beautiful men like? Do you know any? Doesn’t have to be a bf or lover, can also be your friend, colleague, classmate, neighbor, brother, dad, whatever.
Is it true they’re all dumb and rude?
>4chan Is banned from mcdonalds wifi but crystal cafe is not
Hello, I'm looking for someone that used to post a throwaway email here.
The throwaway email is [email protected]
If you're still here, please check it. I'm deeply concerned.
just got cheated on
found out my boyfriend was swiping on girls with the knowledge of my complex trauma. i have lost faith in human relationships. i feel so numb and nauseous. how far can the depravity of man go with their deviancy and cumbrains
I’ve spent my whole life being second choice. Family, friends, relationships… I cannot think of a single time someone picked me first unless there were literally no other choices.
Anyone relate?
Internet sucked the joy out of life
Do any other younger users here feel like they missed out on a lot by not being born before the internet became so mainstream? I do realize that some of it is just nostalgia, but people talking about how life was like in the 90s and early to mid 00s just sounds awesome. I am by no means old but I live in a country where internet only became widely available by the time I was like 8 or 9 and I could literally feel it suck all the fun and uniqueness out of life. Nowadays I am just bitter that (among other things) I did not get to experience life before all of this and honestly, it is just gonna get worse and worse. I spend a lot of my time just indulging media and fantasies that take place in that era. Does anyone else feel the same? (And could anyone recommend me any movies or shows with that distinct 90s era nostalgia?)
Oxytocin is like a biochemical marker of your social relationships. Human connection and touch releases oxytocin which interacts with your other chemicals and your biology in general. So if you are lonely or socially isolated or starved of physical touch then its impacting your physiology negatively Increasing stress hormones, increasing resting heart rate, decreasing body temperature, decrease quality of sleep, problems falling asleep, disturbing appetite and probably causing full blown depression.
You don't just get it from a partner, but also from physical contact with friends, family and so on. So how do I get oxytocin?
I'm so lonely. I'm not happy. I don't really enjoy anything anymore.
Quitting Imageboards
Halp. How do I quit imageboards forever? I've been here for way too long.
Imageboards have done nothing for my life but made me a pessimistic, depressed little b*tch content with my isolation. I'm completely addicted to the internet, pron and video games and I hate it so much. I have important things in life that I need to focus on, like school but can't because I keep getting distracted by this meaningless escapism. I'm completely wasting my life, I'm 18 now and have very little real life experience, zero friends and terrible social skills. The only people I can talk to are my parents. I'm such an absolute wreck and often feel like I'm gonna be this way forever but I want to change I really want to change. Is there any hope for me? Have any of you ever tried to leave?
Does no-shlick really improve pheromones and skin, or is that only for no-fap?
Tell me about your unrequited love. Can be platonic, romantic, etc.
I'm thinking of stopping giving a lot to one relationship that I don't think will bloom beyond a friendship due to her being very insecure to show affection back in the way I need. Kind of hard for me to get done though, so I'd like to read others thought processes through theirs and what it's like now for you (if it continued or ended).
I feel the issue of being a stranger is the real cause of femcels and of most future woes of the western world.
Think to yourself. Has any stranger ever walked up to you and talked to you about anything, and if they have are they even remotely your friend now? I mean like a real stranger not someone in your class or at a party, which in the post implys you have the money to throw away taking classes for the sake of talking to people or already have friends hence being at a party; but just in the world, on the street, at a store etc. Have you any friends that walked up to you at these places that youre still friends with now?
Changing your life
Anybody else wishes to have a fresh start?
While I was always very shy, I still had at least some friends in kindergarten and primary school.
Getting an ed when I was 13 ruined my life. I always felt inferior to other girls, my body was all I ever cared about. Over the years the number of my friends shrunk more and more, I started to become the "weird" one. I missed out on so many things because of it. While the other girls were busy dressing up, having fun and going out, I was even wearing sweatshirts during summer to hide my "disgusting fat". Later I fled to the internet, got interested in unusual things (kpop and vkei), meaning I spend even more time in my own world - on the internet.
Now I'm starting my 4th year of uni, I gained 70lbs, have close to zero friends and major social anxiety.
I just wish I could be like any other normal girl as well. Waking up without feeling miserable, having the energy to do a skin care and makeup routine (without being obsessive over it), eating something healthy, being confident enough to put on cute clothes and then go meet up with my friends. I don't want to be super popular, just have some girls to talk to, sometimes go out to eat or the cinema, etc. I'd love to overcome my weebness or at least also have interest in other, more normal stuff, so that I could talk about it openly without having to fear judgement(also, getting over the fact that I'm white and will never look like some asian waifu). I want to be able to enjoy food and exercise regularly without getting obsessive over it. I don't want to cry and panic every time exams are coming up, I just want to be more carefree and don't overthink every single little shit. I feel like I never really go to be a young person, simply doing stupid things, I was always already stuck up, acting much more mature - and that's why I don't fit in with others (not that I'm not trying to, I'm just always somehow perceived as unpleasant).
Yesterday I got so desperate about losing weight that I started browsing pro-ana sites again, that's how dumb I am. I tried starting a diet (of course I failed again and binged in the evening), but while I was sitting there and studying I thought to myself 'What if I succeed in losing weight and being disciplined enough to study? In the end I'll just be a skinny person who studies all day long, alone in her room, that's all that there is to my life.'
That one guy who called my calves "manly" which caused my ed and my addiction to the internet destroyed my life. In one week I'm already turning 23 (let's see if anybody of my friends remembers it and texts me), meanwhile I'm still sitting here like a slob, no hygiene, no sleep, with food being my only happiness.
Thoughts? Advice?
>"I must be really pretty cause people are always staring at me!"
>gain confidence and learn to hide autism
>people stop staring
>oh
How to cope with being mediocre?
how to handle hostility from crush?
>black femcel here
>randomly in the middle of the semester i start obsessing over this person
>just like everyone i come across he always broke eye contact immediately, never looked me in the face and actively avoided me
>quite literally out of nowhere he starts noticing me
>starts holding doors for me and waits for me even though I’m an awkward distance away from the door
>even one time with his foot and he acknowledged my existence he seemed to be looking at the area around my chin
>i’d always say thank you but never got a response
>he then starts acting hostile every time he saw me
>he puts his phone down, breathes in, puffs his chest out, made prolonged eye contact (head following me), then when i pass him he follows me
> he either then stood some space behind me, across from me or just smack straight in front of me
>he always stood by the exit so there was no way for me to avoid him
>I’m a loser so i took this as attraction and i gave him a valentines bag in the middle of December
>he leaves it on the ground and i came back to my senses on who i am
>he starts avoiding me again and i leave him alone
>once the semester was over i coincidentally ran into him everywhere and found out we both take the same transportation home
>my attraction towards him was still there
>since it happened months ago from that time i thought maybe i could start brand new and introduce myself
>i chickened out each time but stopped pursuing when i was talking with a classmate and i turn to look at her and he’s smack dab right behind her
>i assume he found out i like him
>rest of the month before covid he’d notice me a lot and became hostile again
>he’d see me down the hall, stop, wait on me to walk past him, make prolonged eye contact (head following) and then follow behind me
is he seriously that mad an ugly girl gave him a valentines bag? is he waiting on me down the hall expecting another one? googles telling me he's trying to pick a fight he is around 5'11 and I'm really not trying to get bodied what should i do
Feeling inferior and jealous
I feel inferior compared to my friends. I can never do sports, I don't have any musical skills nor am I the best in my studies. My leadership skills also at best, is mediacore. I hate feeling envious whenever my friends gets an award or scores better than me.
I was close with this group of friends, and they are great achievers, honestly. But day by day, some of them made it obvious that I don't belong to them. They kept me out of the convo,celebrated everyone's birthday but somehow forgot mine. I ended up leaving them.
But now, I can't help but keep comparing myself to them. I absolutely failed an interview and I am really ashamed of how it went. But most of them applied for the same thing and got it. I'm the only one who applied and failed miserably. The interviewers legit were laughing at me.
When it comes to studies, most of them are able to score a solid A while I could barely muster up an A-. They're also more socially outgoing and 'charismatic' than I am. I'm so tired of this game with my mind.
Building sexual confidence
How does one become more sexually confident as a virgin?
(Without just going out and having sex, of course.)
Images my bf every day watches
Hi! My bf and I live in Spain together since a year ago.
A few months ago I discovered than my boyfriend is constantly watching erotic/ pornografic images in 4chan platform of women and girls with amazing bodies.
I'm feeling terrible, Now I'm constantly thinking about myself (my body en general).
Sice always I've been so complexed about myself (I'm too short, a little bit overweight and with big boobs)
Its something wrong with me?
Should I forget everything?
I'm feeling do sad, probably I'm not enough for him. I don't know what to do.
I would apreciate your advices and your tips.
Pd. I usually don't write in english, sorry if I made any gramatic mistake
I'm 20 years old and I haven't even had my first kiss. What's my problem? No, I'm not fat or autistic.
Help
I am confused if either of my parents are narc or they’re just toxic or as they said, I’m just an ungrateful bad child.
A little flashback, growing up, I always don’t have much memory of my past. Somehow when it comes to that or issue relating to my family, my memory is really bad. I’m super good in my studies tho. I do remember bits of pieces here and there and none of it was good.
I remember being kicked to a corner by my dad just because I didn’t want to share my ice cream with my brother. I demanded him to ask me nicely and I’ll give but he didn’t. Perhaps, I even got slapped in the car for it and as I arrived home, my dad legit kicked me. I don’t remember my mum protecting me. I was around 10 y/o. From what I remember, my dad would never listen to what we have to say and whatever mistake we did (or we didn’t), we’ll be beaten severely till it bruises. Not to mention, how he degrades me and mocks my achievements if I didn’t act as he wanted me to,
I also remember how my intelligence was constantly mocked when I was younger. Especially coming from my mum, she’ll say stuff like I would’ve never achieved anything if it wasn’t for her. That I am nothing but stupid. The next time I achieved good grades, she wanted to reward me but I rejected it and told her you called me stupid, right? To which on the next day, she tried to guiltrip me by saying that I’m was rude to her and that she deserves an apology from me.
Fast forward, during my teen years, I had been really insecure. In class, I would not be talking to anyone yet, it wouldn’t be an issue for me to walk up to the stage and talk to the crowd. I do remember being shamed by my mother for my skin colour, voice and how I looked generally. I used to also get scared of talking to ppl.
Somehow, after high school ended, I got over my issues. I revamped my character as a whole and became a whole new confident, out-going person. I don’t know how but somehow me and my mother grew close. This and I was living far from them. She’ll tell me about her issues and I’ll tell her mine. She’ll call me multiple times a day. It wasn’t really anything suffocating and truthfully I enjoyed her presence.
But then, since this whole pandemic happened, we are locked together in this house. I’ve noticed that my father has changed alot as he is not the person he used to be. I used to think that he might be narcissistic as he had this huge rage and couldn’t really emphatise with anyone.
But my mum, wow. Me and my sister got into a fight. Somehow, my mum came into my room and scolded me for being immature. It wasn’t even a proper fight. My sister was giving me the silent treatment for some reason I don’t know of and I needed the room for myself. I told her that calmly and she ignored me. I ended up dragging her out of the room and she slammed the door herself. To which, my mum scolded me and brought up every single issue I ever had with my friends in the past to prove the point that I was the one who behaved wrongly.
My sister continued to ignore me for a month or so. She wouldn’t even enter our room if I was in there. I couldn’t stand that so I moved to my brother’s room and slept there. I used to be really close with my sister so I honestly, can’t understand why is this fight getting this huge. My mum knowing that I slept outside, came to my room and scolded me. Again, telling me how Inconsiderate of a child I am, I never cared about how she felt, how could I do this to my sister bla bla. I was crying and I really couldnt take it so I asked her to stop. I explained how I am hurt over my sister’s behaviour and both my parents mocked my emotions. Legit, the mocked the way I talked and made faces while repeating what I said and told me to get back into my room.
After that event, I don’t think my sister ever talked to me properly except if she needs something. I’ve tried making small talks about the games she’s playing or something and she will say that I’m making too much noise and move somewhere else. If I ever raise my voice towards my sister, I’ll be getting it from my mother. She’ll nag me to the point I feel like I’m such a bad child and deserving of hell. She is also a religious person and kept telling me that god is watching and everyone would get their punishment for treating her like this. I’ve gotten an anxiety attack once in front of her yet, she never acknowledged it tho I told her that I couldn’t breathe at that time. She just continued talking about her issues.
What confuses me is that, once, I almost wanted to quit my course because I couldn’t handle the stress and she came all the way to my uni to comfort me, which was a 5 hour driving distance. I love ice creams so from time to time, she will take me out. If I ever need anything from the mall, she will bring me out happily. But then again, most of the times, she only cares about my grades. When we fight, she would mention that just because I got good grades, I think I’m such a great person, isnt it? But then again also, one of the reasons that I wanted to change uni was because I got involved with a narc friend and he managed to convince me that I am indeed stupid and not deserving of the course I took which my mum tried super-hard to make me feel better?
This turned out quite long but I guess, I just wanted someone else to know this, as well. I hate being so confused, haih.
>tfw you will never have a group of girls (no good equivalent to the word 'guys') to sit around and shoot the shit with
>tfw you sit at the bar alone drinking beer after beer hoping for another lone woman to enter
>tfw all of your female friends have husbands and barely have time to hang out with you without them
>tfw none of your 'friends' (male) understand you at all
im reaching my breaking point.
Sadposting
Go
>go on 4chan
>entertaining to scroll through but I don't feel I belong
>too many naked girls
>too many fetishes
>too many nazis
>talking about how all woman are shitty
>true-ish
>girl friends irl normies
>distance myself from feminine traits
>hate girls
>find this site
>browse
>could it be?
>a place where I belong?
I never throught there was somewhere for us. I knew I couldn't be alone.
Dreams Thread
This is a thread where you can post all your dreams you have and maybe discuss it with other anons. I don't know where else to post it on here so here goes:
I had a strange dream last night that I can't quite understand. I usually have dreams that foretells of future events or just random dreams that are made up of the thoughts I had the night before so this one is unusual even by my own standards.
>for some reason im in a jail cell serving 5 months for disrespecting a officer
>im sharing a jail cell with some guy, which is weird because im pretty sure mixed sex jails don't exist in my county
>he's nice to me and we end up being friends
>i get out one month early for good behavior
>while im walking out of jail i think "i can see how this fucks up people now. it makes you more antisocial [???]"
>the police officer who pressed charges on me calls me to his office and says he released me early because im 17 and i shouldn't be serving 5 months in jail anyway (im 19 in real life)
>i try to get to my house but i end up bumping into my cellmates jogging outside with a drill instructor
>i leave to use the public restroom and two prisoners end up following me in there
>one of the prisoners was my old cellmate. wtf
>they start to grab me and drag me in the stall while other prisoners come in there to basically.. yeah
>wake up confused as fuck and worried
Context: The area i live in is kind of dangerous and the crime rate has gone considerably up in the past 5 years. I walk outside for all kinds of reasons and i noticed there's a lot of shady men who follow me around and try to talk to me and such. I recently got almost abducted.. twice.. just because I was outside by myself after 9pm. I feel paranoid tbh but i don't know anyone who has this feel
Help me cope with grooming
Hello everyone
This is my first time posting on /feels/ and im glad CC is such a warm and supportive community because I can post sensitive topics.
I was groomed online and i dont know how to cope with it. It all started when I was 11, my mom let me have a facebook account (she controle it) and since I've always been a weeb I joined a group of anime lovers. Some dude added me and we started to chat frecuently, he was 5 years older than me and by time we became friends. But when i was 13 I "fell in love" with him, and he took adventage of that. In that time he was 18 and he asked me for nude pictures. I agreed and after that night everything became worse because we kept exchanging lewd messages for other three years. I knew something was wrong at 16 and blocked him on all social media, and deleted my facebook.
I feel so sick by just thinking I satisfied a pedophile's desaires without even knowing, i just pretended he was my boyfriend.
Tl;dr: I was groomed and i need advice, so please help girls ;_;
Also my mom stopped controlling my facebook when I hit purberty so she doesnt know.
How do i get a gf?
ive always liked girls but ive never had a gf before. i dont know any girls that aren’t straight, i dont leave the house and i just have no idea how to meet girls. how do i meet girls that like girls?
I feel like my family is turning a blind eye on my mental illness
>grandmother dies, mom sends brother to therapy
>start starving myself at 13 for around 2-3 years despite being thin to begin with, nobody cares
>gain a bit of weight back, mom points out that I gained weight, suggest I don't wear very short pants anymore if I feel uncomfortable, making me feel even more insecure
>am the only person not participating in prom, parents say they're disappointed instead of asking why (the reason being me thinking I'm too disgustingly fat + lovely boys in my class made an "ugly girls, don't dance with"-list I was on)
>get very depressed after graduating, cry all the time, even tell my mom that I have suicial thoughts, she only get's angry
>around the same time my brother get's himself diagnosed with ptsd because he had a falling out with members of a local club, resulting in me also no longer being welcome there
>fail to find friends in university, of course never date either, barely sleep, gain 50 lbs more, don't brush my teeth, don't wash my hair or face, wear the same clothes for a month, cope with it by joking that I'm lazy, family goes along with it
>brother calls me fat and ugly every day he visits home, no1currs that he makes me cry, mom worships the ground he walks on
>little sister starts eating less and less, I tell my mom for months that she can't allow her that, am scared that my once extrovert sis turns out as fucked as me, I constantly get nightmares about her
>she finally sees therapist, but mood at home is horrible, sis cries on the daily, my dad has zero patience for her, mom is so fed up, constantly complaining to me, meanwhile I should study for my finals in less than 2 months, but I can't because I'm too down
Am I in the wrong for feeling like I was neglected and my problems being downplayed? My siblings are extroverted, attractive, popular, extremely talkative, my sister is spoiled, always get's brand clothes, meanwhile I barely talk at all. I'm the oldest and I was very mature as a kid or I had to be, I was always very quiet, get constantly told that I must take care of my siblings despite already doing that anyway, I'm supposed to be the easy, unproblematic one. My parents were so strict with me, I never dared to talk or ask for things, I'm so easily scared and so dependent on them now, I feel bad or guilty for the tiniest things, even just for writing this post. Every person always says how different my siblings and I are, me not being well is becoming more and more obvious to everyone, my coworkers at my parttime job also immediately noticed that I'm way too timid and silent, panicking because of tiny mistakes, I'm also the only one who doesn't take care of her appearance at all, yet my family doesn't give a fuck.
My mother has no problems with recognizing mental illnesses in others, even if their symptoms are much less severe than mine. Because my younger siblings are in therapy she constantly asks if she's a bad mom and of course I tell her that it's not her fault, but I just want to yell Mom, look at me, you really think I'm the right person to answer that question?! But I don't because I don't want her to feel sad or guilty. For years I tried to tell that I feel so awful, I tried to seek help from my uni's counsellor but he's an idiot who's always absent from his office/skips appointments, but her only advice is "you'd feel much better if you met up with friends" "you'd feel much better if you lost weight". My anxiety is so high that I'm even nervous around people whom I've known since kindergarten, plus I don't have friends. And it's not like I haven't tried losing weight, my weight gain isn't the cause but the side effect of my problems.
I just feel like I can't go on anymore, I don't have any hope for the future, I'm so scared of failing those exams and thus resulting in all those years of going to school and uni being for nothing, I either want to end it all or just run away, start somewhere anew and live a simple life working some lowpaying job.
What is the meaning of life/human existence?
The fact that most men watch porn even when theyre in a relationship makes me wants to die. How the fuck am I supposed to find a bf when 99% of men are coomers because they cant stop themselves to save their life from jacking off to a screen. I wish guys understood how shitty it makes us feel. You’ll never look as good as the girls he sees on porn. Anyone else feel this way?
Dealing with Narc Friend
I was friends with someone who had narc tendencies. He treated me poorly and was never been able to give explanation for his actions. He tends to badmouth everyone around him and he badmouthed someone who was a close friend to him.
I asked the narc on his reasons for doing so and he couldn’t give any explanation. He was purely defaming his friend’s character and abilities. I proceeded to warn the said friend as the said friend is also kinda close to me. The said friend confronted the narc and he ended up saying everything he said to me to the friend’s face and they friendship ended right there right then.
Along the way, I ended my friendship with the narc as well as he crossed way too many boundaries and lines, both with his actions and words.
The question is that, I feel guilty although I feel like what I did was right. Was my judgement wrong and I’m just denying it? Or is it because the narc wanted me to feel ashamed and guilty about it and I’m still not free from his chambers?
>have a male friend that keeps fucking up with you
>for some dumb reason still love him and wish the best for him
>he keeps fucking up and hurting you
>give him chances because "he can get better"
>its been 3 years
>finally get to see what he thinks of me through my friend's DMs
>delete him from everywhere
I know I'm stupid for giving chances and have "hopes" that it might be better no matter how many redflags I get. Maybe I'm too nice, that's what some friends tell me. Did I do the right move ? I still feel absolutely shattered.
ex-boyfriend wants me back
my ex and i broke up over a year ago, it was a mutual agreement. on my end, i was realizing i really wasnt that into guys (with the exception of fictional men, as they arent real, and real men repulse me). our relationship took a turn for the worst because he was a huge "ironic" misogynist, and we constantly argued that we both stop being friends until recently. he went through some very hard times and came to me for support. he's absolutely changed from the time we last spoke, but his interactions with me have been going to an intimate direction. the problem with that is im a lesbian now and i dont see him that way at all.
Being more hopeful
I'm a very jaded, shy and anxious person, but deep down, I just want to be happy. I want to be one of those girls who has a sparkle in their eyes and warm, kind energy. I want stray and wild animals to instinctively like me. I want to smile at people, have them smile back, and not feel bad if they don't. I want babies to smile at me and kids to just automatically like me. I know these kinds of people exist, because I've been around them. Me, on the other hand? People think I'm glaring at them if I stare too long, when the truth is, they look familiar, or I think they're pretty, or I'm just scared of them.
I just want a cute, happy, pure heart/soul/mind. It's like people can sense evil in me, but I swear it's all aimed at myself, not people in general. I can be snarky or even mean, but I don't hold true malice. I always feel guilty and just want to be friends in the end. Can anyone else relate? Any tips?
Covid Feels
>that feel when you were forced to cancel your summer travel plans to Japan with no reschedule in near sight
Why even live
>i make friends with a guy
>We have a lot in common and chat near every day
>Have voice calls which I rarely do and we watch things together
>I offhandedly mention my bf
>He loses interest in me and messages me a lot less frequently if at all
Why does this always happen? Why do men value friendship so little?
Anybody ever felt stuck in a relationship(romantic, familial, friendships, etc.)?
Tell us why. If you ended it (or if they did) tell how it's been so far too.
Seeing couples
Am I a psycho if seeing happy couples outside makes me sad? I was just at a fireworks show for the Fourth of July because my mom wanted to go and I couldn’t help feeling like shit noticing all the people in attendance seemingly in healthy relationships with loving partners. To be clear, I bear no ill will towards these people—I just wish my life was better.
Am I a bad person?
I posted this to r9k and got a lot of "you are a terrible person please die" responses. Haven't gotten that reaction irl so I was conflicted. If I get similar responses here I will accept it and do some self-reflection.
>Fucked up by an internet pedo when I was around 11.
>Never met irl (thank god) but gave him enough content to potentially get him arrested for CP.
>Almost 20 now and mostly over it but still need a bit of closure
>Want to find him, ask why, get angry, etc. but have no leads. Don't even know if he was ever reported. Sometimes worry that he's still hurting other kids.
Do I go to extreme lengths to hunt this dude down or do I just need to let it go?
(extra new bits) I don't blame this for everything bad in my life, yes I am partially to blame, I do not use this as a crutch and am a functional person. Just would appreciate closure.
Thoughts on motherhood?
I'm torn because on one hand I feel like being a mother would be fulfilling and I like children but on the other hand I detest men and couldn't see myself getting married.
What are your thoughts on becoming a mother and/or motherhood in general?
Okay ladies, how do I convince my bf to wear my underwear and to let me peg him?
what am i?
ever since i was very young i have only had a sexual attraction to girls. i remember seeing women on music videos in bikinis when i was like 8 and thinking they were extremely hot and having sexual attractions towards them. i remember when i discovered porn, and i would look at the females the whole time and only be able to you know what to them. i remember searching up naked women and just finding them so attractive. but the thing is, i like guys. i always thought this was 'normal' for straight girls. until i asked my friend if straight girls find men sexually attractive but not women and they told me yes. i don't find men sexually attractive. like, i don't look at a guy and think oh fuck they are so hot and you know what to them. i find women sexually attractive but not men, but i like men???? its super confusing and im not sure what i am. pls help. i always thought this was just normal and straight girls still found women sexually attractive.
How to stop holding grudges
I've been holding a grudge with someone I live with for several weeks now. We're on speaking terms just about but things very much aren't going to be the same. I'm trying to forgive them but I find it very hard to do so. I genuinely want to get over it but I feel like I'm never going to see them the same way
How do you deal with copycats?
(( Or women who are jealous of you in general ))
Have you ever had a copycat& Have you been copycatting anyone& Have people been jealous of you to a point where they tried to turn your life into theirs and how you dealt with it&
I personally encountered a lot of jealous women and have been copycatted by about 4 people.
2 of which were on internet, the other 2 IRL. The last internet one was obsessed with me to a point that she dyed her hair my colour and wanted to change her name to mine legally. However, right now I am struggling with an IRL one and I am still not too sure on what to do about it.
It's my s/o's little sister who frankly, is 5 years older than me. The first time I met her she was acting okay, even though she would stare at my body and green-eye me. But later then she started giving me odd compliments (when s/o was away) that she would wish she had my face, or she would compliment me and then spend 5 minutes of shitting about herself. Later then on Discord she asked me why I use emotes in every message. I explained myself. She answered that now she knows the secret of my cuteness and is going to steal it. Next day buys nitro for the first time and tries joining servers I am in.
Later it turned into her (and still remains) trying to dress up the same way I do. It's also funny when she is trying to make a knock-off version of my dresses, still, creeps me out. In the past she also tried talking my exact sentences and doing the same 'food preferences'. She is the person who is convinced that 'every fat man has it easy, but fat women are so unlucky, we get nothing!' kek and also is saying that she is a baby on internet and resolves herself around sanrio aesthetic at age of 26. Also everyone are letting her be rude and do ridiclious things because 'wah…shes depressed. we feel bad for her.'.
She is also doing a bunch of shady things right now in order to try to start family drama and is doing weird attempts on turning father's family side against me when I am doing nothing but politely existing. I don't feel like getting too much into it though.
Being around her is unbearable because she acts very immature and again, is trying to copy me. She can't even talk to women her age, only people who are not more than 21. I just want to feel comfortable whenever I have to encounter her, I wish there was a way to blockoff my inner emotions and anxiety completely. If the thing she wanted to do was to make sure I feel like I don't belong in their family whenever she's around, she's doing a good job at it.
Am I bisexual? I always thought I was, at the very most, bicurious since I've only had occasional weak attractions to girls. But I found a girl on instagram(i'll post a pic if you want) and it's making me feel some things… She doesn't shave, and things just clicked in my mind that I'm not attracted to women who shave, but since most women shave, maybe that's why I'm not attracted to most girls? I've been having fantasies recently about hairy girls and stroking their hairy body parts… ugh. I don't know. Is this just because I'm attracted to men and men don't usually shave their body hair so hairy women remind me of men? Or am I actually bisexual? I'm so confused. Pic isn't the girl im talking about.
bibo gam
Do any of you want to play something?
I'm looking for someone to play civ with
friends are so mentally ill
i have a few MtF friends, I tend not to care or comment on their lifestyle choices, but they sort of make me uncomfortable at times. One of them speaks very violently about radfems, and the other is so cynical its so concerning.
Neither of them do a good job at passing, one of them straight up just using a faceapp filter to look feminine. 2nd person claims to be a lesbian and hits on me.
I feel so trapped in these friendships because most of my friend group is pro-trans.
I’m afraid to connect with others because I hate myself and think I’m secretly a terrible person. I’m also a spreg who likes to isolate herself from everyone. Wish quarantine would last forever honestly
i miss him so much. we suffered so much but i love him so deeply i don’t even care. i suffer all night thinking theres a possibility he can’t rest anymore. i miss him because im no longer his. i’m sorry for leaving you, if you see this. J, I loved you for all that you are. Even when we hurt eachother I fucking miss the solace it brought knowing you were there. even as a friend. but i love you too much to ever be your friend. i needed to let you go because i am never going to be what you need. and i’m dangerous. even if i have been trying my best i feel like you deserve.. better. i miss our love, it made me feel like i deserved to be happy. and like maybe i’m not so bad. i’m going crazy alone like this. but i have my girlies to take care of me. but you don’t have someone like my girls.. and although you have your best friend it would be more help if i was still there. i left you bleeding and hurt and didn’t do anything. i miss you, for what is wrong with me. leaving someone, made
for me. i don’t want anyone else, ever again. you’ll call bullshit but nobody loves like you do. nobody treated me like you do. and now i’m going to be alone forever. and that’s my fault. i’d do anything to take it back.. my period was coming and it just reminded me.. of when we met.. how we wanted to take it slow and i refused.. and then i began hurting you.. and you began hurting me.. i’m so fucked. all i can say is you have the most precious heart. and i’m sorry. you don’t deserve any more pain. i’m sorry for doing what i did. i will love you forever. and i’m open to talking.
anyone have any advice? what do i do with all this pain? i left this person without an explanation. i hurt this person. do i let him rest? or talk to him?
I have no motivation to do any kind of work while at home due to covid. I get anxiety about the undone work and just avoid it. I have a project due in a couple days while I haven’t even started on, but I’m so anxious about it
Is there a way to have male friends without them attempting to hook up with you/oversharing about their fetishes or using you as a therapist?
Single Pringles
Singles general. How long have you been single? How do you feel about it?
How can I get over feeling like I need to warn people about my abusive ex? He is out of my life now and has been for a long time but I can't help but feel that by doing nothing I am letting someone else be abused. I really just want to forget about him completely but I feel guilty.
The fact that I've never had a close female friend is really upsetting to me. I've been surrounded by men my whole life, everyone who's ever had an important role to me has been male. I always wanted a close female friend but I've never clicked with anyone and it really hurts, I just want female companionship, a female best friend I can share sisterhood with.
LETTER THREAD
LETTER THREAD
Initials, full name, whatnot, post them letters
Being approached
How would you ladies like yo be approached? I'm quite a sperg and I feel like if I were ever to be approached by a guy IRL I wouldn't know how to react but then on the other hand I don't think social media and/or texting feel like a natural way to be approached by a guy who isn't a total creep.
Messy Thoughts
i just want to have a female friend to talk about mental illness, being a female misogynist, existential crises, having no self, psychology, suicide, trauma and the world I'm mentally fukt and confused and my mind is messy
I hate being a woman. It's the most fundamental thing about my self, but I can't even understand it. Every day I feel this agony because I cannot get outside myself. I will never be able to experience a mind that's not my own. And I hate my mind. I can't think of things categorically, I can't remember complex things, everything takes me a long time, I can't do symbol-heavy activities like mathematics, I fundamentally can't read a fucking map, I can't imagine where I am. I can't see space. I can't see. I feel all the time like I can't see.
I was raised with the unequivocal notion that women and men are equal, and essentially the same. But everything I've discovered since then seems to hint at a difference in experience that, no matter how small in specific quality, seems to be the seed from which two fundamentally separate plants are grown. Reproduction is a fruitless project of hybridization, a hopeless attempt at metissage that every time yields only one isolated species. The project of human evolution is permanently halted in the necessity of human gender.
I was raised to think that women are the same as men, but I know they are different. I know too that they are better at some things. Better at caring, better at nesting, better at intuiting emotion, better at judging value. And when I list these out, they sound like pathetic qualities, and I futilely hope that there must be something else about women that I'm forgetting. But Beauvoir was right when she called woman the "other". Every other quality belongs to man. I feel isolated in this domestic little world, where I can be a woman and small and pointless and absorptive, or I can try to be more, and act against my own abilities.
I know I sound nuts. I know you will read this and say that I'm clearly a self-hating woman, that my perspective is too negative, that I don't understand, that I need to look at it differently. I guess I know that I need to look at it differently. But I don't know how to look at it differently, see the truth, and see a truth that doesn't make me want to cry.
Share your relationship problems here
Staying friends with someone after rejecting them
Around two years ago I became close friends with a girl (mtf) online. We watched stuff on rabbit together, talked morning to evening every day and shared our hopes and dreams for the future, as well as our insecurities. Mid last year she told me she had deeper feelings for me, she told me this without any intention of pursuing this and I gently informed her that I've read her message but opted to not say anything else as she'd likely be very upset and blame herself. I have a partner now but I refrain from really talking about them to her as I don't want to hurt her feelings.
She's my closest friend and I hate the thought of hurting her but I'm really worried she still thinks of me romantically and that I'm just stringing her along. Am I being cruel cc?
I met a guy through a game online several years ago and since then we’ve been friends aside from a year or so long period where we didn’t speak. When we started speaking again, he confessed his feelings towards me which I rejected and he took it well.
I thought since then he had gotten over it and it was fine, but I found out a few days ago he still has feelings for me. That wouldn’t be an issue, but he’s just started considering going to university. He said he wanted to go to the farthest ones so that he won’t have to commute to get away from his family, and his top 3 choices currently include my dream university which I have made clear that I am dead set on going, and two others that are very close by to it.
Am I overreacting or is this a bit strange? His family does seem crazy and he said those universities have a good reputation for his degree. But, I feel like he wouldn’t have to move so far if he was just adamant on it as well as the fact that he is also severely limiting his choices by basing them on location. A family member of his recently acted out so I think that’s what influenced it but I can’t help but feel self-centred. He mentioned it was a coincidence and at the very least he’d go a year later than me but even then I feel like our relationship would cross a boundary that I don’t want to cross.
Detransition Thread
A thread for FtMtF detransitioners.
Feel free to post in this thread if you…
• Took HRT but now identify as female
• Had a double mastectomy but now identify as female
• Presented yourself as male in the past but now identify as female.
… And so on.
Difficult Room-mates, Feels plus Advice
Has anyone lived with or currently live with someone, a room-mate, a friend, a relative, that they didn't get along with or that was mean to them?
Feels, I guess, plus advice?
How did you survive? (Did you?) What advice do you have? What would you do different? What do you suggest others do?
vent thread
last one reached bump limit.
>>31601
I'm going to take plan b today for peace of mind. Does anyone have experiences or warnings? I'm very worried about birth control making my brain fog worse, which is already really bad.
Mixed signals from a girl?
Hi girls, I'm just wondering if any of the other gay/bi girls on here had any advice for me. Also this could just be a general lgbt dating thread??? idk
Anyway.
I've been getting kinda mixed signals from a girl I chat to online, we both live in diff countries but not like, the other side of the world kinda thing, more like say an hours flight away. I've only ever dated men and this is my first real crush on a girl, so I don't really know what to look out for. Idk whether she is into girls either, but she has never said otherwise- we are both ace though, and she knows I am biromantic.
But basically, she calls me cute a lot, has even gone so far as to say we are like soulmates, when i mentioned i was chatting to another girl (we used to talk on insta) she suddenly asked to add me on whatsapp, we are ridiculously similar and even jokingly said about us running off to another country to live together.
But then, she is sometimes really distant…I mean I understand taking a day or something to reply to texts bc tbf we do basically send one another digital letters…but sometimes its like two days and it will stay like that for a while then all of a sudden she's super into chatting to me again. It kinda screws with me a bit because I don't know where I stand.
I'm super into her but it's really uncharted ground here with me because I've never dated another girl and have no clue what signs to look out for or whether she's just being friendly and I don't wanna overstep any boundaries. I also don't wanna risk just asking her out in case it freaks her out lmao, because I'd rather not jeopardise my friendship with her.
Is it better to just go volcel, or keep trying to date and risk getting hurt? When I look at my friends and female relatives relationships and marriages, they have a man, but none of them seem particularly happy.
It seems like their husbands are just wallets that provide some extra cash or drive them around places, help out with the kids every so often. It seems like their men don’t add much to their lives, and a lot of the time seem to cause more trouble or present problems through their behavior.
I have already dated 3 guys, each experience was more horrible than the last, at this point I am so tired of men’s bullshit that I want nothing to do with them.
But at the same time, it seems all the good men get snapped up quickly and if you snooze you lose, dating gets harder as you get older. Men are shallow as fuck and if you are over 30 they cast you aside. I don’t want to regret being volcel in my youth then desperate when I hit my 30s. The thought of growing old alone is scary.
How can i be happy for someone i got rejected by? Just seeing him with somebody else doing everything we were dreaming to do together and everything we started is already frustratng af. Is it even possible? It seems kinda too masochistic.
meme. do you like it?
>tfw no girl group of internet friends
men suck and their shitty discord servers
Siblings, toxic family
My brother has been ignoring me for the past months, I’ll say the past 3/4 months.
To set the setting beforehand, my family is quite toxic. There’s no privacy for us kids, even as adults, our phones are ransacked through, bank letters read because we’re still living under their roof. Constant fights are normal between everyone in the household. When we were younger, for the smallest wrongs we’ve done, it won’t be surprising if the older one would be punished severely ranging from anything being kicked to a corner or being caned till bruises are left. They’re changed people now but still, the effect lingers.
So, me and brother, we’re kind of like all what we have. We’ll share everything from insecurities to ranting about school. We share clothes, we share blankets,heck, if needed we’ll also share pillows.
But soon, I went to university so we barely met. He hates phone calls and texting so, we could barely stay in touch. Still, I’ll try to contact him here and there by maybe asking about my outfit or what photo to post on instagram, anything to keep the connection. Whenever I’m home, our relationship was fine.
Fast forward, somehow he’s close with our mother now. We had a fight a few months back and lord, it dragged for so long, We used to fitght before but never had it been dragged for this long.
I’m not entirely sure what my mum told him but it ended up with him sleeping outside our room. We fought and the only substance was that I told him, his actions are making me angry and I’ll need my space for now which irked him. Whereas for me, I didn’t make sense on why am I getting punished for acting as such?
So for now, because of the pandamic, we’re home together. He doesn’t really talk to me and it’s mostly just me trying to save the relationship. Once, I had a breakdown and went to sleep in other siblings’ room because even if I kinda brushed him a bit, he would make it clear it annoyed it. Even then, obviously, my parents took his side and told me to shut it up and stop being such a baby. I was literally brawling my eyes out as I’m hurt on how could he just cut me off like that but obviously, I’m still the wrong one because this action of mine, might hurt him instead and whatever I’m feeling, I should just deal with it.
Fast forward, we started to talk, more like, he won’t ignore me but won’t necessarily add any content to the conversation. But then, I keep getting hurt by his behaviour.
He was going to sleep at a friend’s house for a week and he didn’t even tell me at all about it. I found out about it from another sibling, coincidentally. I know he hid that from me deliberately.
There was also once when I asked him to not throw his clothes on the floor and put them in the backet. His response was to immediately threaten me by saying he’ll complain to my mum so that I’ll be scolded because he knows how far my mum will go and how emotionally disturbed I’ll be. Do note, he’s 17 y/o already so he knows what he’s doing.
Another time, I wanted for him to look at a new outfit I bought because it was kinda our thing to approve each other’s outfit but he just dismissed me and told me to ask someone else instead.
I’m really hurt and at loss. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like he’s getting toxic as well and I don’t know if I can accept that. I’m starting to think that perhaps I’m the problematic one.
I’ve fought with my parents quite a few times just because I wanted to uphold my boundaries and they disagree with that, saying I’m such an ungrateful child. There was also a time I’ve walked away when my mum started an argument with me because I didn’t want to participate and lord, that didn’t end well for me, haha.
Can someone please help to shine some clarity on this situation because I’m tired and I don’t know if I’m even thinking clealry.
Does anybody else ~have~ some friends but they are extremely hurtful? I don't know how to word this well. I always think I don't have friends but then I reminds myself that I do, however I do not feel comfortable or understood when talking to them. It's like I'm only friends with them just so I'm not completely friendless. I try to put effort into the relationships, but they always seem one-sided. Every time I reach out I'm made to believe I'm bothering them. So in a way trying to not lose contact with some of them makes me feel embarrassed and desperate. But I feel like I have no other choice but to message them because I have no one else to write to. And saying 'find better friends' doesn't really help since past experiences have proven that I'm not really good at it. I'm not really friends with anyone from high school, no one from university either and I don't talk to my family. Eh, I may be too sensitive at times, sure. But being completely alone and lonely does that to me. Does anybody else go through the same? Where do I even find good people?
i just want him to message me
but no
he’s too busy talking to ewhores
:)
Random question
Opinion on giving notes to friends who are falling behind on their studies and am constantly complaining about it?
I have a friend whom I’ve known for years. He is constantly complaining about being behind on his studies and I get that medschool is difficult. I gave him a digital cooy all of my notes for the year but I’m kinda feeling annoyed rn because I don’t think he actually put in any extra effort to study but is instead just complaining?
How do I stop thinking about dying and panicking about it? It's kept me up late the past few days and on some days I get so nervous I could throw up. I don't have any anxiety about other things in my life. I just love existing too much and the idea that I might not be able to experience it twice guts me. I am not religious and haven't found any good answers or people to go to for solace about this topic.
dealing with irrational (?) guilt and paranoia
Does anyone else struggle with spiraling guilt and paranoia, feeling like you've hurt other people and damaged your reputation forever constantly but not being able to figure out if its real or rational?
I struggle hugely with executive function and I've been in a horrible depressive episode for over a month. Even though I told my roommate I would handle paying our rent, I didn't pay on time for May or June for literally no reason other than I couldn't get myself to write the check and walk less than a block to drop it off, and whenever I thought about doing it I got so overwhelmed with shame and anxiety I would put it off further. I finally dropped off the check for our rent for 2 months a few days ago. Luckily our landlord isn't charging late fees because of COVID, but we got a scary notice in the mail that I just opened and our cosigners (parents) also got notices. I feel so embarrassed and just completely irredeemable because I caused stress and worry for no reason and I don't know if this can affect our credit scores or reputations in some other way? And I've just been sitting here spiraling for an hour trying to decide if I really did something wrong and wronged my roommate and damaged my relationship with her, or if it's okay.
This happens to me all the time with various situations where I'm worried I've wronged someone but I don't know if it's something that I can expect people to forgive me for or not? It doesn't help that I'm hypersensitive and I know that other people aren't but it's really hard for me to understand how people who aren't like me react to interpersonal situations, or situations that would make me anxious but a normal person wouldn't worry about. And I wish I could just ask my roommate about it, but I don't think there's a non-insane way to ask about that? She knows I struggle with depression and possible ADHD, she has ADHD, and she helped her girlfriend with a serious depressive episode/her ongoing MH issues, so I think she would be understanding, but would she? I have no idea how much leeway I should expect from people because of my mental health issues. We're also close friends, but I see things on social media where people are talking about resenting or abandoning their friends for things that seem insane to me so ???
Any tips on dealing with guilt, paranoia, or just not trusting yourself to accurately interpret situations because you're an autist?
Anyone else feel uncomfortable when your on a date and the guy pays for everything? Went on a date with some guy before the lockdown, we had dinner at a fancy hotel loft, then drinks at a fancy cocktail bar and then we even went to a Japanese style inn. In total he propably spent 1200.
I felt so weird during the entire date. He just kept ordering the most expensive shit on the menu.
friendless feels
the title says it all.
i ended up scrolling through the account of someone a few years younger than me and saw posts like pic related…just people (kids i guess) having fun with their friends and it made me sad because i never got to have that ):
can anyone relate?
also, general friendless anon thread.
I've been kicked off of lolcow and I feel really sad about it. I felt a connection to the aesthetics of some cows tbh and I will really miss /ot/. I might shack up here but i'll miss the rapid fire infighting. It sucks, I really wanted it to carry me through quarantine. I feel lonelier without that place in the background.
has anyone else struggled with keeping friendships?
i ghosted my friend despite wanting to maintain our friendship.
i don't know why but i just have a problem with commitment and an active fear of people leaving me. i guess i'm an asshole because of it though, because it means i always ghost the other person even if there's only good feelings between us. oops
no but seriously i feel so alone and hate myself for having put myself in this position in the first place. ;__;
i feel like i'm an annoying ass gf and i just make the same jokes and say stupid shit all the time. can someone reassure me that i'm not as annoying as i think i am
I found someone who is above my highest expectations. But there was a deal breaker so we're just friends now. But every time we talk I'm reminded that I'm never going to find someone like that again.
I'm sorry thread.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn4EIv1-uz0
>into femdom
>met beta orbiter on 4chan
>he's into femdom too obviously
>tease him and humiliate him a lot
>he's so desperate for me
>he says that he loves me every day
>showers me with compliments and affection
>never felt anything like this
>he's always there for me
>we do stuff like watching anime together
>waits for me whenever I go out at night to tell me goodnight
>sends me gifts on his own will
>I play with his feelings a lot
>lead him on a lot
>switch from pretending to love him to telling him I would never even let him touch me back and forth
>this goes on for months
>it's been a week since he disappeared out of the blue
>turns out I loved him for real
Stereotypically feminine vs. masculine guys.. who to like?
I have a question about goth/emo guys, or just artsy/emotional guys in general.. do any of you ladies who feel that more classically male personality traits are dominant in your personality (desire to compete, expand, and create vs. nurture, appear beautiful, and select from what's provided/judge) seek out men with more classically female traits? I've always had a thing for the emo type of guy, or dark prettyboys. Is this normal? All the girls at my school think I'm weird for liking these vogue characters.
Feeling pressured in a friendship
I've been friends with a girl since middle school. We have a lot of projects together and she's a great friend,I love her so much and I know she loves me too. Though, I noticed since we started growing up we started having different political views on the world, but in the end I don't care about that… I don't plan on talking about politics with her anyway. But she recently started to talk to me more and more about her politics. The fact that she started to engage in Twitter more often combined with what's going on in America right now isn't helping at all. Though I still listen to her, because I do not want to make her upset, I know it's important for her to talk to me about these issues, I know she loves exploring those ideas with me. I do not agree with everything, but I just… let her talk since it's important for her. I don't tell her exactly what I think, but I do have to agree to her or else she might get mad at me. (She has told me a lot of bad things about people sharing my views so I do not want her to assiciate me with that…) But in the end, once the conversation stops… I feel guilty, so so guilty. I cannot help this feeling no matter how much I try. I just do. I feel absolutely horrible. I feel pressured to act good for her, I feel pressured to hide "my true self" to her. Plus heck ? What am I even talking about ?! My political views aren't what I am… There's no "real me" I'm hiding… Politics aren't even part of me. I dont like politics in the end since it always ends up making me feel awful.
Plus each time she talks to me, it's about negative things, à la lolcow style. It's always negative this, negative that. "Look at those people doing that. CRINGE.", "Look at that person acting like that ! CRINGE." (Of course I caricature it a bit, but you get what I mean). It's always negative, and always putting people down lately. I feel pressured to respond to her. I feel pressured because if I respond the wrong way she will get mad. If I don't respond she will get mad. Either way I'm losing.
I feel like this pressure is going to make me go crazy at some point. Though I'll get a chance to see her soon. I might try to ask her to "not speak about negative things". I dont want to go into details anymore, it just makes me feel worse. I feel physically sick like I'm about to puke.
And in the end. I will always and always feel guilty.
I know the fact that I tend to put other's hapiness before my own doesn't help much. But it's incredibly hard for me to stand up for myself sometimes which leads me in those shitty situations in the first place. I try to work on this (and talking to her when I'll meet her is somewhat how I'm trying to fight against my habbit), but sometimes I end up in situations like these that just end up hurting me more for no real reason. I just needed to write that out…
I feel like my envy of my partner has damaged my ability to be sexually attracted to him forever and don't know how to fix it. For the longest time I increasingly became bothered by my perception of my SO confidence and his success where it began to make me not interested in anything intimate, which led to me walking in on him trying to get off every few weeks (that I know of) and it angered me that he didn't seem to care that I caught him in the act. He didn't watch porn and the worst I ever caught him looking at were pinups of girls that looked a lot like myself. I took this all as affirmation that I was right somehow in not being sexually attracted to him anymore because he didn't seem to be interested in me, despite the near daily sexual advances I'd turn down. I especially took to heart the one time when I was drunk/high and felt horny enough to wake him up and he turned me down, which I couldn't understand at the time because it seemed that it was all he wanted from me (I now realize how bad the timing was since it was at 4am, he was working 12-16 hour days and getting less than 4 hours at the time).
Anyways, I know I'm a shitty person now and at the time I felt I was being shitty to him as a response to him being shitty to me. I realize now after having time apart (we didn't separate, just circumstances with my mental health we agreed for me to move in with my parents to be near family while he relocates near me soon) that while all his imperfections bothered me, he actively admitted to valid complaints and made the effort of changing while dismissing frivolous whines of mine(this really bothered me). I feel absolutely terrible now being exposed to my entire family's positive perception of my SO, and when I explained my side of stories about what we fought about I got put in my place and made to see how wrong I was, I never realized how much my dad even looked up to him.
I just don't know how to feel sexually attracted to him again, or anyone for that matter anymore. He's extremely handsome and I feel he's the good looking one out of the two of us (he thinks the same of me), but I feel no excitement at all. I feel like a disappointment to his expectations and after all I've put him through I can't even desire him the way he wants me to. All I can think of is my depression plus medication for it has finally compounded after years and destroyed my ability to be interested in sex. I don't even know if there's anything I can do to make myself feel attracted to him like I used to before we lived together.
tldr; my partner's intelligence and confidence made me project my insecurities onto him and think he was a piece of shit when he is the most humble and admirable person I've ever loved and now everything is ruined.
god i just hate kpop fans so much.
nothing wrong with the music itself, but just. the fans are so fucking toxic it makes me sick to my stomach.
unsure of how else to word this thought, but, why do these girls act like bts is the one and only kpop group?? everywhere i look its bts this and bts that. why is it. only. bts. im sure theres so many other groups that deserve much love and attention but feel immensely overshadowed by bts bts bts bts.
another thing is the fetishizations, sometimes its just so hurtful as an asian to see people like you get reacted to in that way. and im talking about the girls who cum panty over the way that kpop man smiled, or how their cheeks are shaped, the arc of their eyebrows or some other dumbshit reason. something just feels so wrong about bias culture and how deep it goes. koreans arent your sex doll. also parallel to how they want a korean bf because uguu my own kpop oppar. + those who wanna go to korea in the same way as weebs with japan.
dont even get me started w/ the fancam stuff
maybe im just being an old hag about this topic but holy shit
When I was a child I was molested on camera all the time now the videos are out there and It makes me sad to know people are jerking off to me getting hurt
is there any way to get those videos offline? also i don't want people to recognize me
Jealous
I know feeling jealous is related to low self-esteem and insecurity. Even though I know my boyfriend loves me and I trust him, I feel very jealous about him and I think I will be replaced by another girl more beautiful and cool to me.
I do unnecessary fights and I realize that my boyfriend doesn't like this and feel he's getting tired of me.
Please, help me how to be more secure about myself and relationship, improve my self-esteem and to stop be exaggeratedly jealous.
Is anyone else depressed as fuck about getting older? It gives me an existential crisis whenever I think about it.
Porn and Envy
I was using my boyfriend's computer today and saw porn pop up from the search tab. I don't mind him looking at it but it makes me kinda sad that the girls he looks at look nothing like me at all. They're actually quite opposite of me. There's a bunch of results and I don't know if I shouldn't say anything or if i should tell him im uncomfortable.
Revenge porn
Hi miners,
I'm part of a team that is currently developing a way of assisting victims of non-consensual pornography (like nude "leaks," revenge porn, camgirl/patreon content and such). Ideally we'd be working with victims to get the content taken down every time it's re-uploaded somewhere, mostly automatically and without the victim's involvement if she would prefer not to be exposed to it, and could also alleviate some of the burden by helping to press charges if the victim chooses to.
If you're a current or former sex worker whose content has been leaked, or if any of your private nude images/videos have been spread beyond the intended recipient, I'd like to talk to you. I'm happy to do it over voice chat so you can be assured that I'm a woman, but if it's easier for you to type it out, that's fine too. Of course I won't ask for any personal information or how to find your images. This is not an advertisement and you wouldn't be talking to me as a potential future customer, but as someone sharing her experience to allow us to consider every angle.
Email in email field. We can continue our conversation on any platform you prefer.
Hi, anons. Should I invest the time to find and look through the bf's reddit? Or is that too invasive? I regularly stalk the post history of random users I find. If I ~just happened~ to find his name and look it up later, is that wrong of me? He clearly is one of those people that values muh privacy. It could potentially be triggering for my bpdfag ass, or it could soothe me (I tell myself that, but it is unlikely) to see them.
I can't stop feeling sorry for myself. I get overly emotional to the point where I feel like I can't control it and the only way I can make myself feel better is by having someone else comfort me. Every. Fucking. Time. I can't comfort myself through sadness and I'm sad a lot and it makes me seem so pathetic and it's making the people close to me resent me (or at least I think it is, or it probably will if I let it keep going). If someone isn't able to comfort me for whatever reason I panic because my close relationships are built upon the fact that I can rely on them for frequent comfort. How do I stop being like this?
Am overweight and don't have an ED but I can't stop thinking about either food or how fat I am and it's ruining my day every day lately. Bf is supportive and thinks I look hot but I'm ashamed that he has to date someone who looks like me and can't stop thinking about fucking food. Someone pls tell me how to stop thinking like a fatty and obsessing over food and eat like a normal person
Guilt
Ridden with guilt. I don’t understand. The fluttery emotions were there but we weren’t a thing tho he treated me like we were something. Even the people around me pointed that out, lasting only for months, on top. He had the characteristics of the textbook Narc so, I was always cautious around him. I told the people closest to me that something’s off about him but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, As the situationship progressed only one by one began to surface and I’ve left him for good. Now, about 6 months has passed by and the painful emotions are still there. I am still seeking validations for my actions.
At first, it was because I spoke to my friends about the way he was treating me, just to find answers whether I was really being treated wrong or not. His behaviour really took a whole toll on my self-esteem as a whole. I never saw myself crumbling that low, being afraid of everything. I had to find answers. He knew about it. He started screaming at me. Throwing accusations that I was just trying to ruin his name, that I have no need to act like a good person in front of him if this is my actual behaviour. That if I had any ounce of respect towards him, I wouldn’t be acting this way. How can I discuss about his behaviour with him if he never listened? Immense guilt passed over me.
Next, for standing up for the person he talked about. Constantly, demeaning everyone’s character, saying everyone except for him isn’t capable of doing anything right. At first, it was just the people close to me. Then, it went on to his friend. He was talking bad about her, her character as a whole and it irked me. Made me feel disgusted. I took the lightest word he said about her and told her about it as she’s completely clueless about this. It wasn’t anything huge to cause a fight but enough the warn her about what’s going on behind her back. I also asked her whether the hot and cold way he was treating me is normal of him, assuming the probability that he might just be acting this way towards me only because I might have done something wrong and be unware of it. Still, a huge fight spiralled between them when she confront him, asking him why he said what he said with my word being nothing but a trigger. Everything and perhaps, more of what he said to me, he said to her face. The whole history of what his friend did wrong and in the end, she decided that his words was too much and she left him. During the fight, she told him that the news broke from me and how I complained to her about him. Of course, he blamed it on me saying I should’ve felt guilty for telling her anything. I wish I’m the one who’s wrong but I’m not the type to just ruin a friendship or ruin the calm air if I didn’t feel it was necessary. But again, was it really necessary? I also feel bad because I realised he actually has no one he can trust on and she had stayed with him for the longest. I feel worse when I see old pictures when they were good friends. Guilt washed over me, again.
I’m tired of all those emotions. Guilt, shame, fear, grieve yet, those two situations are hardest for me to process because I’m still unsure if it was wrong or right of me to do and say what I did. Was what I did really wrong? If so, how do process everything and finally let go of everything?
Can we get a depressing fuel thread? Shit like this that makes you feel terrible.
wanting a bf to ask me out in a "traditional" way..
hello this is my first time posting here! so first off, the relationship between me and my dad is very good, he loves me very much and is a very reasonable individual and we are both religous as well. One thing my dad wants for me to do when a guy asks me out, is for my dad to talk to him first so he can know whats up with him. I am personally very ok with this, and in fact, encourage this. The only issue is that even though I want this to happen i dont want a dude to be ask me out and then i have to say "oh you have to ask my dad" when i am like 23 or something… I dont mind doing that it just comes across as still being dependent on my father when i am not? does that makes sense? how the heck do i commence with this?
Relationships
I’ve liked several guys over the year, usually unrequited as I feel the need to hide my emotions. Sometimes it’s either, my friend likes the guy or it’s the guy likes my friend. Never have I once decided to get between them. Now it’s another time, I told my friends I liked him and a few days later I find out they like each other and my friend was keeping it behind my back. It hurts, I’d rather trade my happiness for both of them, but they lead me on. Even now I try to share my opinions with my friends and they instantly block me out of their lives. Is it just me?
How do I overcome crippling shyness?
It's probably ruining my life. I'm a shut~in NEET at 27 who has never gone all the way with a guy. The very rare situations where I could have I ran away from it. The only positive thing I got going on right now is the pandemic makes it easier to order things without interacting with the delivery person. I just don't understand why I prefer to be alone but at the same time am lonely. Why am I like this?
coping with my first break up.
my first boyfriend broke up with me for another girl. we were only dating online but we were together for about 3 years now. he didnt mention that he wanted to be with someone else and basically blamed my mental health and just moving on in life in general.when i asked if he liked someone else he said no so he was hiding this other girl from me. how can i cope with this? i was emotionally dependent on him for those 3 years and i feel as though i wont be able to recover and im afraid this will make it hard for me to trust anyone in the future.he still wants to remain friends but admitted he would be busy and probably wont have time for me as much. what do i do? i have no one else and i feel as though something is better than nothing. pls help
Intimacy Issues General
General Intimacy Issues thread, for the emotional and mental issues surrounding the intimate side of life.
anyone else ever just wanna go batshit online? theoretically i could do it right now. i just wanna make a bunch of weird crazy blog posts, videos, pictures, anything. but i have a very specific set of requirements for how i want to be noticed. i don't want lots of attention. i just like the idea of things i make getting passed around here and there as one of those online oddities. unfortunately i have no talent to make anything actually interesting. the thought kind of consumes a large part of my life at this point, i read about stuff like this just trying to find more obscure people, i feel kinda bad since sometimes i feel they're being mocked, but i also don't think i'd care if it was me personally.
it'd also help if i was cute but i'm not.
Can a masculine woman find love?
I'm a 5'8-5'9 girl with big, masculine jaw. No, I'm not trans. I'm thin but I have wide shoulders, wide hips, I'm overall huge. No guy has ever expressed interest in me, and my current crush is only 5'2 (and he seems to be a traditional guy who is not into big women). How do other masculine girls cope with being unwanted? How do you get over not being small and adorable? Do any of you have any experience with finding a shorter-not-so-masculine bf?
Is politics ever an issue with your boyfriend?
I talked with my boyfriend about how funny it was that my Exes always acted extremely suspicious and distrusting, whenever they thought I could get a glimpse on their phone screen or go on their pc without them knowing.
My boyfriend of 8 months then said that he is completely fine with me having access to his phone and pc and encouraged me to snoop through it. It wasn't my intention to get him to allow me to do that. If anything I just wanted to say that I liked how relaxed he is about it. But he actually wants me to snoop through everything and even said that he is curious, if I can find anything that will make me think less of him. He sometimes evaluates things for a neutral perspective, so he said it would serve as a valuable lesson to him, if I did leave him, based on anything I found. I guess he saw this as a sort of trust exercise.
So I haven't looked through everything yet. I am glad I didn't found any porn or found out about any weird fetishes. I knew about him being an imageboard user and he mostly uses /pol/ as a news source and lurks, but he seems to be pretty clearly right-wing. He's not the edgy type. He even told me that he dislikes rude racism, which I guess gave me a different impression of him at first. But based on his browser history and convos he's definitely a Nationalist and into traditional gender roles. He knows I am a feminist too. He once said to me that he wouldn't care, if I was a Nazi, Communist or whatever, he would still love me and doesn't want politics to get between us.
The thing is I did see some convos and a few threads, which he saved images from, which are basically about "converting your gf to a trad right-wing waifu".
What do you think? Does he expect that I adopt his ideology, even though he told me that he doesn't want politics to get between us? He told me he meant what he said and I haven't really yet confronted him about his general political beliefs, which he did hide from me, even though admittedly he never lied to me about anything specifically.
Will he try to manipulate me?
>be me
>just two months after my first breakup
>hang out with a new guy just 2 weeks before quarantine starts
>he's nice, attractive and into me
>he flirts a lot but I don't react at all, because I can only think about my ex
>he always texts me and ask me if I wanna go out
>always give him one word replies
>quarantine starts and he stops texting me
I treated this very nice guy like garbage just because I felt like it. I think I deserve this after all, but I really miss him. It's been 2 months already and I feel ashamed. What should I do? I don't wanna give up on him
Normies going insane because of corona and etc makes me feel good, comfortable, and more sane in this world
Whats the worst rejection scenario you can think of, or just any from experience?
>confess feelings to a boy you really liked
>he's gay
Hello World
Hello world
Anyone here a single NEET?
Im 23, with no work experience, dropped out of college due to low GPA, and my parents want to kick me out by the next 2 months. Im deathly afraid of being homeless and all my job applications have been denied. It will take a miracle to even get an interview offer, let alone a job.
My best and only friend, who never went to college is a NEET too but she lives with her boyfriend from HS who provides everything for her, which makes me terribly jealous, because I dont think I can get a boyfriend that cares enough for me due to my ugliness, shyness and autism.
Sorry, but I really needed to vent. Have any of you been in the same situation?
What do i tell people when they ask me what i do on my free time when all i do is watch youtube and do other random stuff on the internet? I mean, i do sometimes make music, draw or read, but im never able to stick to anything for long enough. And even if i am, i know ill lose interest soon enough since thats how its always been. It just feels wrong each time i claim something (besides browsing the internet) to be my hobby.
Paranoid feels
Post paranoia, severe or light, about yourself or others
>talk to new contact
>mid conversation they suddenly appear offline and always have to doublecheck my friend list to see if they deleted me because of what I just said or if they're simply on phone/bad internet
Eating Disorder General
A thread for the discussion of eating disorders. Anything goes, from anorexia to bulimia, orthorexia to binge-eating disorder etc.
>when did your ED first emerge?
>was there anything in particular that triggered it?
>how has it affected you as an individual?
>if they're aware, how have your family and friends reacted to it?
>have you ever deliberately encouraged its development?
>have you ever attempted recovery?
>did you ever participate in ED-centric online communities (i.e. MPA, LJ, Tumblr)?
Pro-ana thinspiration is disallowed as per rule 10.
(OP is River's Edge by Okazaki Kyoko)
despair II
Made a post here a year ago about my depression and just feelings of helplessness and overwhelming despair, I’ve experienced a lot of things since then but everything is essentially the same.
I think its called being passively suicidal when you don’t actively try to kill yourself but don’t really do anything to have a good life either. I’ve tried to become a better person but I just keep failing..I’ve gotten taken advantage of by a guy I trusted, let myself get taken advantage of by so many other guys, fallen out with so many friends… all in my head thinking this was what it was to be a normal person and experience all these new social things. I was overwhelmed and threw myself into everything I was too shy to do before, and now all I feel is dirty and ashamed.
It was not all entirely bad..had some accomplishments but I just feel hollow inside.
Does anyone get depressed watching anime bc all the characters are so young and their lives are so interesting and have so many possibilities? And thinking wow I used to be at that age but when I was that age I was a depressed hermit who had no friends and I still am now.
I feel like I’ll never be able to connect to anyone, I’m so lonely.
how to get ex bf back
I need help with this, story time
>dated 2 years
>last 6 months of relationship be on and off because I can't handle how he made out and fingered an ex friend of mine months before we dated
> get mad that he sent nudes to a rando girl months before we dated
>also be sad that he had an ex gf that he had sex with
>be hurt everyday because he did all of this and don't know how to cope
> Get really mad at him, during a week of break up, I want to get revenge and end up making out with another guy and getting fingered by him
>happy that I got revenge but still feel disgusted with myself the situation
>months later I tell bf and he immediately breaks up with me
> cry and beg and doesnt work
> went no contact for 2 weeks, he messages me saying he misses me and asks for pic of me, etc. we talk, I ask if he wants to get back, he says no, I flip the fuck out on him and tell him never contact me again
>4 weeks later he messages me to check up on me, he tells me we should stay friends and stay in contact, he says im important to him, I flip the fuck out on him again and block him
Been 3 weeks now no contact, is there any chance he'll want to come back and date me again. He said I was really important to him but what I did really hurt him.
How is COVID-19 making YOUR professional life a living hell?
I thought it could be nice to have a vent thread for people graduating/who've had their professional life and education disrupted by covid.
I'm graduating in a week into a competitive creative field and have applied to the only two or three jobs im qualified for in my area. On the surface I'm still excited and I have faith in my abilities but I know it's going to be a lot harder than even I can comprehend. I've had no graduation ceremony, no end of year exhibition, subpar feedback from tutors, and no celebration at all. I'm probably gonna have to sign up for govt. assistance, look for a shitty regular job and maybe try freelancing for extra cash. Sounds silly but I was so excited to have 2020 be my graduating year cos of the round number, but now I just wish I'd take a year out or something.
Anyone else have great difficulty switching from one task to another? Sometimes this leads me to achieve what i wish but 99% of the time this brings me suffering. I used to think its due to being tired and sitting on my ass all day, but even as my lifestyles have changed i still face the same difficulties.
Idk
I am open to constructive criticism as it is impossible for to have done everything correctly.
It started out really nice as he turned out to be caring, thoughtful and really empathic. I might just say I’ve never met a person as kind as him (or now, as twisted as him tho, I might be wrong). He was always there, looking out for me, cheering for me.
The first red flag I noticed was the fact how stubborn he was being about wanting to know about a personal story of mine which somehow he managed to sniff. I didn’t want to talk to him about it and he was being difficult on wanting to know about it, so I finally gave up. Later when I confronted him about his behavior and how I felt forced to tell him the whole story, he apologised. Somehow everything was moving too fast when I don’t feel that close to him yet.
Our friendship went on as he would constantly put me down in front of everyone while complimenting someone else. Nothing I did was right in his eyes yet, a mere puff of someone else’s perfume is enough for him to be giving them compliments. Yet,he would always ask me out to dinner/lunch with him, giving me help (now, I think about it, was more of forcing help onto me although I’ve politely declined numerous times). At times, he would be very dismissive as much as even walking away when I’m talking yet sometimes, he would be very supportive.
He also had a habit of badmouthing just about anyone who he thinks is close to me. Whether it is on their work ethics or just that they’re genuinely bad ppl. Among those ppl, one of the person he talked about was his own bestie, whom he had been friends (A) with for atleast 3 years.
Since this toxic person has a high position in a project, he asked A to help him out on working as one of the team leaders in which I was one of the member. I saw how hard A worked to ensure that everything ran smoothly for the project. Yet, perhaps when this toxic being saw that me and my bestie was getting close to A, he started talking ill about them to me. He said that both A and my bestie, they’re not playing any active role in the project and that they don’t know how to do their job well. He even proceeded calling his bestie as someone who has been lazy ever since he knew him. Note that this toxic person was the one who reached out to A and my bestie for help.
As a team member, I did saw that A and my bestie, both actively played huge role to ensure that their task was completed successfully. It was only because of the toxic person’s fault who decided to change all the planning that A did which ended with the boss being mad as by right, things was supposed to proceed as A planned.
I felt ashamed of this toxic being’s behaviour. Note that this wasn’t the first time he’s been talking ill about someone else. If I took his word literally, I legit have to leave everyone I’ve known because they’ll always have some ulterior motive.
I was mad. I was confused. How can someone who was so kind, be so condescending as well? This toxic person has said alot about A that it made me feel uncomfortable hiding this truth from A as A do from time to time, ask toxic person’s opinion. I contacted A and discussed with him about this toxic person’s behavior. I didn’t mention everything that toxic person said about him but only the fact on how he told me that A isn’t a good leader at all and it was a mistake taking him in. All this, when toxic person approached A himself and asked for A’s help to lead the team. I also mentioned about the way toxic person treated me and whether that’s a normal behavior of his or was there something I did that set him off.
A confronted toxic person. A huge fight occurred which changed the whole way the project was handled. During the fight, the toxic person said that I was a lier and why would A trust me whom he barely met? When A said asked whether I should be brought into the room so we can discuss together, toxic person got angrier. He said to A every single flaw of A’s that he can think of from their first meeting itself, which includes the other stuff about A that I’m told about. Under toxic person’s pressure, A also spilled everything that I told him.
So my question is, did I do a wrong thing by warning A, which was completely oblivious to toxic person’s behaviour? I’m hating the uncertainty of this judgement of mine.
stuck in a depressive episode the past few weeks, if it weren't for corona id be outside doing fun things, hanging out with friends, or even just any semblance of real work.
its been a blur of fleeting thoughts of suicidal ideation, worthlessness, and coping by returning to my fujoshi weeb ways n watching anime, reading yaoi.
im in a privileged position and can afford to live this way which makes me feel worse. ppl w depression here how do u guys cope?
i wasted hours I could have spent on sleep on arguing online
Have you ever felt physically repulsed by someone you love or used to be attracted to? I was with someone for ~5 years, we had a life together but towards the end of the relationship my body started to reject him by making sex painful, and eventually the mere thought of intercourse with him began to create an extreme source of anxiety. At first, I thought there was something wrong with me, or that perhaps it was due to physical/emotional abuse from a past relationship, but after we broke up I got with another guy and was able to get wet and have sex easily. I feel guilty and terrible in a lot of ways, I still care about this person a lot and I sometimes think of getting back together but how could it ever work if I can't get physically turned on by him? I still want intimacy in my relationships. Am I a terrible person?
Online fame and paranoia
I'm probably going to get some hate for this, but here we go.
I have a slightly successful YouTube channel and a pretty slow thread on lolcow /snow/. Through mutual interests, I've met a girl, and we've developed a mutual crush on each other.
Unfortunately, I found out she's in the lolcow discord. Now I can think about is whether or not she's a farmer trying to get close to gossip about me. I know it sounds self important but I've been catfished before due to my online presence. What do I do? How fucked am I?
Copycat
Are you a copycat? Have you ever stolen aspects of another girl's personality, interests or fashion sense on purpose to be more like them?
If I told anyone this in real life, they'd probably think I was bizarre, but i want to get it off my chest. To be honest most of my personality now and my likes and dislikes and interests were stolen from a girl who's blog I used to read 3-4 years ago. She wasn't anyone e-famous but I just stumbled across her and somehow I became obsessed. I cyberstalked her all over the internet and I started listening to every band she posted about, watching every movie, posting things with the same sense of humor and going over her selfies for aesthetic details every time she posted them so I could try my best to copy her style. I've never spoken to her openly but I used to send her all sorts of anon messages so I could find out things about her to better emulate them. Eventually I stopped stalking her accounts as much and lost track of her online profiles as she would change names a lot. Recently I checked back to find she was completely different now, and in my opinion much less interesting. I'm still basically a reflection of her from 4 years ago, and I'm fairly comfortable with it all still even though it sounds quite creepy when I type it out. Most people who know me now weren't really around in my life 4 years ago, and they have no idea that almost everything about me is copied from some random girl online i've never even properly spoken to. I still use some of her dead aliases as screen names (don't worry, only as nicknames on places she would never be able to see or be disturbed by if she did find me). Am I alone in this? is anyone else this creepy?
anime recs
looking for anime/manga recs that tackle depression, or just growing up and doing adult things..better if in a female pov. something like oyasumi punpun, or aggretsuko or something..grounded stuff thats not just hs action adventures
Advice
Let’s have friend A and friend B.
So friend A and B are close friends for a few years already. But then, friend A won’t stop talking ill of friend B to me. Friend A also has the habit of talking ill about everyone he thinks is close to me in general.
Would it be wrong of me to tell friend B (more like a warning that A talks about B behind B’s and mentions one of the many things A said about B) of this A’s behaviour?
feel good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJvJaad-LS4
we have a lot of threads here about feelings, but mostly sad feelings. missing exes, losing cats, depression, loneliness. How about we have a positive feel thread!
do you ever feel happy and just glad to be alive? Maybe just taking joy in the simple things. Where I live a lot of bad things are happening but I got to stand outside after the rain and feel the warm sunlight on my skin. I feel so grateful for that feeling.
What’s it like to take a boy’s virginity?
What’s it like to take a HOT boy’s virginity?
feels webms + music
music especially, but mostly anything that feels (even if just a little)
LDR general & feels
Let's talk about long distance relationships and share our current feels!
To get it started, here are a few questions to pick from:
>How long have you been dating? If you're single, since when have you had feelings for the other person?
>Did you meet IRL or online?
>How long did you know each other for before you started dating?
>Did you enter an official (between the two of you) romantic relationship before or after meeting IRL?
>How did you confess?
>If you met online, how was the first meeting?
>How far apart do you live?
>How often can you see each other?
>How do you communicate? (chatting, calling, video)
>How much or how often do you communicate?
>Can you recommend any apps or websites for LDR couples?
>How do you feel about your sex life when you're apart?
>Are you monogamous? Do you have exceptions?
>How happy are you in your current relationship?
>What are your plans for the future?
i got dumped by my 3 years long bf
i'm sad
advice pls
For the past 2 years, I have done nothing but browsing the internet. There are places I want to go, pictures I want to create, what do I do?
Narcissist Discussion
I see a lot of threads here mentioning narcissists so let's share stories about narcissists we've known, whether as friends, family, or romantically.
>Narc I dated told me he'd gotten every job he had ever applied for
>Mentions there was one job he wanted but that they had lost his application
>I asked how he knew they had lost it
>He told me it was because he had never heard back from them
>He couldn't comprehend the idea that someone wouldn't want to hire him
Advice
I wanna know if my behavior is considered as oversharing, I had a toxic ex and we broke up, mainly because I couldn't handle his behaviour anymore. I have quite a lot ot people whom I trust. Is it considered as wrong for me to tell the whole truth about him to all of my close friends?
I have close friends that I don’t really contact much but we do talk to each other from time to time. Perhaps twice a year or so as we’re both really busy ppl. Is it wrong of me to disclose on how bad he treated me throughout the whole relationship to my friends, including the friends mentioned above? Just how much is actually considered as oversharing actually?
In the early stages of relationship, I have approached a close friend of his to discuss about his toxic behaviour. This close friend of his then confronted him about his behavior amd my ex knows that I was behind me. He accused me as someone who likes to tarnish his reputation , afterwards.
Is it wrong of me to tell ppl of his behavior?
Small vent
I watch videos about the many problems about my country and in the comment section everybody bashes my country without them having knowledge of my country's culture or anything.
This makes me feel not good. What should I do?
I stare at my phone too much due to my anxiety and become paralysed.
I’m badly anxious and am often paralysed with anxiety about starting tasks, checking my emails, or interacting with others on a professional level. Even just trying something new on my own upsets me because I’m so anxious about performing badly and letting myself down.
I spent a lot of time just looking at my phone in these situations or glued to a screen just panic scrolling. I do enjoy the internet, but only in moderation and only boards and non normie websites, when I’m anxious I just scroll social media which makes me depressed because I don’t enjoy social media.
Do you do this??? I find it hard to just stop even when I catch myself doing things like this. How do I pull myself out of anxiety? What tricks do you use for this?
Self isolation is putting a strain on me and my family. I started going to GED school after being a shut in for 6 years. I made actual friends for the first time in years and now all of that has been taken away from me. In a psychotic ep I ripped all my posers down last night and now I can’t stand to look at my room. My dad chases me out and told me not to talk to him for the rest of the night cause I told him instead of putting my frozen phone on the charger, we should let it die.He hit me for the first time in a while cause he was shining a light in my face and I didn’t even mean to hit him that hard. He called me a little bitch and other things. Then wanted me to say I’m sorry. Now my rooms ugly and gross without all it’s stuff on the walls and I just want to sleep. I ruined my perfectly good room over my stupid dad
Yobanny vrot, communism is abroad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQnLwhBaXWg
I dont want to look at titties
I recently moved to europe from a very conservative country, and in the area i live, it is acceptable for a woman to be topless at a park or beach during summer.
I feel very much very uncomfortable in that situation, but i cant just leave the area or ask that she put a shirt on to protect my innocent eyes. What can i do to deal with that??
get over ex?
How did you get over your ex?
How long were you together and how long did it take for you to get over him.
I'd like to know your stories :)
Please feel free to leave tips on how you got over him :)
BPD / cPTSD support and positivity thread
>What has been helping you recently?
>Any book/article recs?
Period gone
Haven't gotten my period in 3 months and I'm a virgin so no way I'm preggo. I get random rare spotting every now and then. I'm worried, any of you have an experience with this?
Pic unrelated
have you hit rock bottom before? what was it like? did you "recover" from it or are you still there?
i think spring of 2018 was that for me, i briefly went crazy. i'm also realizing that i've been pretty stagnant since then. i'm not sure where to go from here, or if i have the desire to actually improve my life.
ex makes no sense
My ex got so distant, didn't want to talk to me, refused to try fixing any issues/talk about his feelings and ignored me constantly when i was so loving and willing to do whatever he liked. The MOMENT i left because he was making me feel unloved he wants me back, is posting about being heartbroken and all this dramatic fag shit when he never showed care for me. wtf even!!
Have you ever stumbled across someone's hidden social media account?
I had this happen recently and wrote about it >>>/x/1512 and >>>/x/1520
If it's happened to you, how did the real them compare to how you imagined them to be?
What the fuck is my problem
Everytime I get super closer (friendship or romantic wise) to a boy I feel uncomfortable.
It's like I notice all their shortcomings at once and I'm disgusted by them. Maybe we're on a call we're chilling having fun and all of a sudden this wave of disgust comes from nowhere and I feel awful.
I have some pretty legit friends that really care about me, much more that they should and I don't wanna feel like that.
This is why I never had a relationship.
And I'm straight I have tried doing something with a girl and I don't swing that way.
Even if I like the dude this happens at random times it's so weird what's wrong with me.
It only didn't happen with one dude that I was madly in love with but we were never together. Before him I had this and I had given up but now that we don't talk anymore I genuinely wanna love someone I feel so fucking lonely and what's wrong is me
Who else here /creepshotted/?
Or been stalked? Just saw some creepshot pics and remembered the time i caught a guy in a store taking pictures of my butt. Wondering how common this experience is…
>Tfw no yandere stalker bf
How do you go about finding one?
>tfw tall girl
I'll never get a bf will I? ;_;
i can’t stop thinking about this and i just need to let it out. this happened nearly 2 years ago and i literally think its the only good thing thats ever happened to me.
>be me
>on 3rd date with boy
>talking in my car snd he kisses me suddenly
>”i’ve been wanting to do that since we met but i wasn’t sure if you liked me”
>tell him i wanted him to kids me too
>he takes off my jacket and sees scars on my arms
>”anon, why would you do this? your arms are so beautiful, please don’t ever do this again”
>he kisses my arms all over and keeps telling me how beautiful i am
this was the first and only time i felt truly loved. he ghosted me a few weeks after and i’m still upset over it. why would he do and say those things only to leave me hanging? i didn’t even sleep with him. how do i cope when i havent been attracted to anyone since?
/exfeels/
what are your relationship with your exes like?
>ex 1, female, online, a few years ago - she ghosted me after we broke up, we were best friends since i was 8
whenever i see something that reminds me of her i get panicky and feel physically hurt inside, and a lot of things remind me of her. she left a hole in my heart
>ex 2, online, male, broke up a few months ago
i still obsess over him/think about him every day/night
depression thread
for the ones who also struggle with (severe) depression, anxiety, or any other mental illness let's get together and have a chat. for one, how do you manage your depression?
Does anybody else hate their nationality?
I've always despised it, I hate everything about it: food, language (everybody hates it), customs, the people and even the traditional clothes (look way too slutty).
But the thing I hate them most is the way we look.
Yesterday I came across this by accident and frankly, it hurts me a lot. This is really how the vast majority of german men think.
People unironically use "you are so german!" as an insult when fighting. They are obsessed with foreign women, I can guarantee you, if you were to come here as a foreigner, they'd flock to you like there's no tomorrow. They're very vocal about prefering them too ("women from X are so much better").
And it seems as if nearly everybody shares that opinion - meanwhile the men are seen as very attractive by foreigners: tall, strong jaw line, etc. As an example, everybody was gushing about our soccer team - which of course only adds to their big ego.
The sad thing is, I completely fit the characteristics this guy described: I'm too tall, have a big nose, I'm shy, so I don't dress up, nor can I dance and I'm a very serious, no-fun person. Can't say anything about my dating life, because I never had a bf to begin with.
I actually do find some of the girls around me pretty, but if even they're considered ugly by international standards, then just how low am I?
I'm grateful for living in a safe 1st world country, but other than that, there's nothing nice about it. I'm so jealous of other people's cultures and appearances.
Is there a way to look more exotic, interesting, better?
Here's the link (no idea who asked that, but all replies are negative): https://www.quora.com/Why-are-so-many-German-girls-so-pretty
Why can't I move on sisters
We were never together and it's been 1.5 since I saw him and talked to him. I still think of him everyday and we weren't even together.
Grossed out by babby Thread
M'ladies,
Am I the only one thoroughly grossed out by the whole concept of motherhood, babies and especially pregnancy?
It makes me so very uncomfortable when my colleagues talk about their pregnancy and giving birth and stuff like that. Especially when they ask me when I want to become a mother (spoiler alert: This is SO not going to happen).
I also can't appreciate babies. At all. I think they look hella dumb. I hate it when people make me hold them and I have to put on that soul-splitting fake smile.
At this point I'm wondering whether I'm going down the 'genderfucked' road or having serious mommy issues…
Body image perfectionism and relationships
I know it's not supposed to matter what guys think about our natural bodies, like whether we have flat stomachs or perfect bone structures or how firm our breasts are and whether we get wrinkles, but how does this work in practice when I still know that if he could choose, he would prefer if I looked more perfect and more like the women in media/porn?
It wouldn't matter so much if I also felt similarly about him. Like if I just loved my partner a lot while acknowledging that looks aren't everything, that there are people who are more attractive than him, and that all other things equal I would maybe choose someone who looks different than him in some ways. But this isn't how my brain works, when I love someone I wouldn't change anything or prefer anything to be different, I will just literally adore everything about his looks.
It breaks my heart that no man would probably see my body as "subjectively perfect for him", when this is how I would view the person I love. Even good and kind men have some weird preferences, especially with how we're surrounded by hypersexualized images all the time but in part also because of biology. And what gets me isn't this fact in itself, just the asymmetry when my brain goes through this idealization shift where he's perfect for me, but I know no one will ever see me that way.
I feel like even just a decade ago this was different, and at least the kind and relationship-oriented men had more natural preferences. But now it feels like the kind of mutual adoration I'm hoping for is almost impossible. I'm considering plastic surgery because if I find someone I want to share my life with, I would love to at least be closer to his ideal. Or do most good men still have very natural preferences and I'm just spending too much time online?
>co-worker who is like the boss but not really, just the boss over me wants to be all buddy-buddy at the end of the workday after treating me like shit and yelling at me the entire day
um no bitch, we're not friends, i hate you and i legit can't take any more of you today so fuck off before i stab you
1. Would you rather live in a world with tinder, or marriage?
2. Are your parents together?
What are some things you are looking forward to? Could be tomorrow or like decades into the future but I feel like fantasizing about all the fun times over the horizon
Vent Thread
Old thread: >>27562
Siblings
Some questions to get this rolling.
>Has having siblings hindered your life in any way?
>What are some of your positive experiences with having siblings?
>If you would like a child, would you want them to have a sibling?
>Do you believe parents can love siblings equally? Why or why not?
>What's your birth order? How do you think it affected you?
>What is your relationship with your siblings?
Lets watch a movie, girls:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFK9wAOatGE
Then share our feels.
Lonely, worry I may never feel true love
I feel like I may never find true love. I lost feelings for my ex-boyfriend, am losing feelings for current one. I suffer from depression and have taken medication since I was 12 and I'm wondering if that could be to blame. I feel like I don't have many close friends, friends that I can talk to when I need them. My boyfriend is definitely more into me than I am into him, but I don't actively dislike him. I feel it for brief moments at times, but when I say "I love you" I can't help but feel like I'm partially lying. I'm unsure of what to do and feel generally stuck socially, and the quarantine is for sure not helping. Does anyone else feel incapable of normal emotions like love? I feel that I may be autistic, but getting diagnosed seems like a big stressful process to go through, considering there's no cure or promising treatment.
I know I'm not the best at detecting social cues but this is getting annoying
>sister tells me her bf is gonna live with us for the rest of the quarantine
>believe her because she's definitely the kind of person who'd let other people live at our house and our mom wouldn't care anyway
>"haha you couldn't tell it was a joke??? you're so dumb lol I can't believe you fell for that"
>friend invites me to a social event
>tell him I'm on my way
>he starts yelling at me on the phone because apparently I misunderstood him and I was supposed to be there an hour ago
>he sounds so angry I legit thought I was late
>start panicking
>feel bad and apologize
>"omg I was joking idiot hahaha"
>friend tells me she just bought a new super expensive monitor
>tell her that's cool and ask her stuff about it
>"it was a joooke xd I didn't buy it haha dummy"
what is the purpose of this, these jokes aren't even funny all they do is make me feel like an idiot for trusting people
how to get over ex
Hi everyone, my ex broke up with me 3 months ago and I don't know how to get over him and stop thinking about him. I miss him and wish he'd date me but I know that's going to never happen. Please lmk your experiences too!
easter feels
How is your easter this year? I mean i know for many of us its just like any other holiday, but how do you feel today? do you get to spend time with family? go to church? probably not.. because virus…
do you wish that you could spend time with a happy family on easter, hunting for eggs and enjoying a nice easter dinner?
happy easter ! ^~^
Trophies
Has anyone else literally never won a trophy for anything? Not even one of the medallion things?
I see people having collections like pic related stuck in a back room or even giving them away for pennies on CL.
I can’t imagine how good it must feel to know that for one moment, in that specific area, you were the best. Number one.
If I had even a small one I would polish it everyday and treasure it forever :(
What are your thoughts on cheating?
Is this a catfish??
So I started texting this girl on discord, we met from a reddit r/penpals post i made (im lonely, whatever).
She keeps asking me about my panties?? We played truth or dare and she dared me to send a pic of "the damage" on my underwear that day. She also truth-ed me to say which vibrator I'd try? We're both straight as far as I know, but I can't tell if she's really another girl. She also said stuff like "when am I gonna have you to myself?", keeps telling me I'm hot, and told me I can masturbate next to her if we go on a road trip. I'm getting catfish vibes, but she's SO nice and funny when she's not being creepy. I haven't talked to her in 2 days, should I block her or keep going??
What do you ladies think of sub boys? I just got off a 1 year relationship with one. Was too clingy. Too annoying. Too insecure (worst one of all). I couldn't handle it. I'm a hardcore sub anyways so we were a terrible match. I'd rarely top him and he'd never top me unless I begged. Of course he cried like a baby when we broke up. But yeah. ANy experience with sub guys or what's your opinion on them?
Quarantine Breakup. How do I cope with it?
My now ex-boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me 3 days ago. I was his first girlfriend/any relationship ever and he was my first relationship where I really loved the other person, and didn't feel like it was my obligation to feel validated. So even if it was only half a year, I was so in love and naive. However, he was always really terrible at describing his emotions, and I've always been too open about how I feel. He texted me and told me that he confused his feelings for me as something else. That he didn't know if he really loved me at all, and had been harboring these feelings for 6 weeks but only started thinking seriously about them now. But in between that time frame, he had sex with me and made me believe he really did love me.
My question is, when does it stop hurting so much? I'm a former self harm abuser (only 1 month clean, so this has been a real test of my endurance), and part of the reason he left is he thought my baggage was too draining and he needed to work on himself before he got romantically involved. I haven't been able to eat (I've been throwing up from the toll my emotions are taking on my body. Head aches too.), or play games, or draw, or watch movies, or listen to music without my mind immediately leading to him and how good he made me feel. He lied to me about how he cared about me, but I still love him and it hurts so much knowing he doesn't, will never, and probably never did feel the same. I just wanna know how to cope with it all.
How to get over a man?
I met a man and fell deeply in love with him. I trusted him completely, and genuinely believed that we would get married and I would have his children and we could build a beautiful life together and never part ways. It didn't turn out that way, though.
I'm having a really difficult time moving on from him. I ended things fairly recently, a month or two ago, but I'd lost trust in him several months before that. Even though our relationship was long-distance and we only got to see each other a couple times, it felt very real to me. Almost larger than life. I don't want to obsess over him forever. I think about him most of the day every day. Before I fall asleep, when I dream, when I wake up, when I walk, when I drive, when I cook, when I listen to old songs, when I see cigarette packs, when I read, when I watch movies, when I spend time online, when I look in the mirror…
How long is it supposed to take? I keep hoping we will reconnect at some point. I have a feeling that I haven't seen his face for the last time after all, but that's just wishful thinking, and he was bad for me anyways.
Can you love truly more than once in a lifetime? He's made me wonder if love is attainable at all.
i need more female friends. i’m not sure what’s wrong with me other than getting extremely intimidated by other girls.
i’m fine speaking with them irl and having normie conversations, but i find it so difficult to have them stick bc a lot of my interests are male oriented (ie. video games). i make male friends super easily, especially online, but i’m so tired of not being able to talk about my feelings or more feminine interests. i always get shut down when i want to talk about make up or astrology. that being said, i’ve tried to make female friends through this but i think i come off as too weird or something bc they always end up ghosting me.
any advice for this??
Anyone else ever found secret accounts of friends, family, or crushes? How do you deal with it?
I recently found the secret twitter and instagram of a guy friend (who I also am infatuated with, but he doesn't want to escalate for various reasons) and don't know whether I should notify him or just keep it to myself.
Currently leaning towards the latter. The power of having knowledge I shouldn't is thrilling, and only his two best friends follow him there so it would be fun to earn my place in his inner circle. I'll probably make burner accounts to follow him in case he changes his usernames.
But now I want more stories from fellow creeps, and any advice is welcome.
how can i make a guy feel comfy?
i am a bit 'tistic with others emotional states. i am trying to learn how to better react to peoples emotions. I feel like when i talk to my girl friend, i have a tendancy of being blunt and seeming harsh (i am working on this) but my concern is the dudes. dudes already have so much stuff to go through regarding their own emotions i am pretty certain that most of them are emotionally repressed to a certain extent (i am a tad ignorant since i dont interact with dudes often) and i know that when it comes to attraction i love dudes who are strong and "steady" if that makes sense. my fear is that, i will not be able to provide that sense of security within him in order for him to be emotionally vulnerable. i hope this makes sense i am not the best when it comes to typing out my thoughts… but what i am trying to say is how can i make a dude specifically warm up to me and make him feel like i am his safe space emotionally??
Do men even have feelings?
I've never met a man that had a shred of empathy, even when they are "depressed" it's all about ohhhh no I will never have this 10/10 asian stacy suck my penis or waaaaaah women find men who are taller more attractive, do they care about love or friendship or anything deeper than sex and social status.
non-femcel anons please answer this question.
I feel really shitty anons, I meet this person I really liked but we didn't click, I really wanted to know more about them. That feeling of losing something you can't revover really gets me. Maybe I'm acting obessive? Probably.
>that feel when no Erdos bf
Breaking uuup
I really really need some sort of support, I know this is just another breakup post and this is something people sometimes have to go through but the pain and emptiness is so much I genuinely want to die ; __________ ;
We talked last night and decided to not be in touch for a couple of weeks, and it seems a bit that we won't try to salvage it anymore after that. I know it's probably for the best, it was one of those soul sucking messes for years, though we never were hostile or toxic to each other. But he had bad depression and anxiety that made him constantly feel bad and guilty and prevented us from fully enjoying anything, and I have a high need to plan for the future and to know my partner is 100% committed and happy to be with me (by default unless there's some problem that needs to be worked on of course).
He's found a therapist who seems a bit better than the ones he tried previously but for this it's probably useless, this has been going on for so long that both of us associate this relationship with insane stress and anguish. And we had to go LDR a while ago which has prevented us from making new positive memories even after things momentarily improved a bit last year. Now there's corona and we can't even fly to see each other.
I just think it's so rare to find someone who doesn't lie about small things or cover things up, is understanding and never judgmental even when there are hardships to go through, is smart and likeable and funny but hasn't had a string of hookups or fwbs. Everyone says all men will appreciate other women even when they don't want to act on it, and he wasn't like that which was so adorable. And he was so attentive and affectionate like always saving the better bit of cake to me and giving me neck rubs and holding me if I had a long day. So many guys do those things in the beginning but then just stop.
I have an important deadline today but obviously can't focus in the slightest and haven't been performing well for a while because of this. I know everyone is losing their jobs now because of the virus but I really don't have anything left in life if I lose my job too. I keep thinking there's still a chance, he still said we're working on these problems and that he loves me. But I don't think his heart is in it anymore and I'm not sure I would be happy either. (But maybe? Things seemed to be going a bit better last year… :c )
I'm sorry for the vent but this hurts so much I can't bear it and I'm just going to be alone in my apartment for weeks. I have never felt this bad and have no one to talk to. Please help ; __ ;
Kill me
How does one deal with porn addiction? I just ask because I don't know what to do about it at this point in my life. It's embarrassing and I don't know how to talk about it. Maybe someone else can relate? I don't know.
Here's a picture about flavor because why not
I know there's imposter syndrome, but is there a word for fear that you might be making a variant of an idea, in your fanwork, for something that will be used in the piece of entertainment of which you're a fan?
It's one of the main reasons why I don't make fanstuff of shows that are currently airing UNLESS it's something which is only capable of happening in fanfiction/fanart and whatnot.
Meta on venting/age play
I hate being me.
I'm a gigantic crying child in a mid 20s body.
Whenever I express to someone that I'm in pain I don't actually want a solution or instructions, I just want someone to say "you poor thing life has been unkind to you".
While locked in the psychward the most helpful part was when one of the staff there was noticeably affected by what I told her. I think before being handed "tools and resources in order to function" I just wanted to lay my head on someone's lap and cry while getting smothered in love. I am always craving this treatment and it's all I ever wanted out of /feels/, I haven't even bothered to make an effort for another person here.
Objectively I know I am a strong person for being alive despite everything that has happened. In fiction a person who has endured a lot is usually emotionally rugged and capable of being unphased by things, yet I'm this petty and hyper sensitive person still. A psychologist told me I have an "emotional deficit" and that because of neglect(physical and verbal) and abuse I will have this empty well in my chest that can't hold any water, and that I'm forever going to constantly crave affection and tenderness but won't be able hold it permanently like a normal person because of my childhood. She told me I'm prime bait for an abusive person that could easily manipulate that. She was very blunt and told me it isn't fixable and that the only things to do are 1) Be very careful of who I date 2) Warn the person I date and find someone who might accommodate this defective behavior, 3) deal with it.
When I had my very codependent ex still, he'd baby me and allow me to behave like a 6 to 8 year old in a casual ongoing (non sexual)roleplaying thing we did in private. I used to feel embarrassed about doing this until recently when a miner mentioned doing the same thing and how she said it was common in people who've been molested. I miss that so much.
Every part of my instinct wants to fall down and have people pity me. I want parents that love me and call me and touch me and tell me they miss me. I crave affection, attention and love most days. It has been like this my entire adult life and the only difference between me at 25 and me at 19 is that I have reduced it.
None of it is helpful and I really wish I could be like a stoic and emotionally resilient character rather than this eternally needy helpless baby.
f r i e n d s
hi i just found this site i dont normally do this but here i go i guess
i don't have any friends i dont know why i just dont make the effort i dont text them it just feels like too much work id rather just watch a movie or a tv show
can you reply to this to just talk?
Forgiveness
Gossip, lies, cheating, hurtful words, etc
How do you forgive someone who deeply hurt you (family members/romantic partners/friends)? How do you know they're worth forgiving? How do you know they're worth the pain?
I'm terrible with letting go of resentment… I've been struggling for months to feel like I've forgiven someone.
Does forgiving mean you need to forget things?
Please share.
falling for unattractive dude
>met a guy 2 weeks ago at work and feel attracted immediately bc of clothing style and the way we interact together
>we talk casually
>get eachothers number and text casually
>he starts acting very clingy and i get freaked out. (example: asks to go on a trip to colarado with me, 2 concert invites)
>i start noticing his every flaw. his clingyness, insecurities, he is 5'2 and this begins to turn me off even tho i never noticed it before (i'm 5'0)
>we're chatting at work and i ask how old he is
>leans in and whispers "im 26 but i tell people im 21 cause its easier"
>BUT I'M 19 WHAT THE FUCK AND WHY WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT THAT LMFAO
before all this happened, i subconsciously caught some feelings and ive been having terrible anxiety the past few days. ive been trying to guarantee that i dont fall for him, but i find myself drawn bc i dont usually connect with peoples personality so quickly.
i'm so unattracted but maybe this us cause of my paranoia that hes too clingy/older than me?
i know this is NON ISSUE and i shouldnt be getting so much anxiety of this, but i just want to know if anyone else has ffelt this. they are half attracted, but half noticing their every flaw and wishing theyd never met.
i'm even afraid im in "love"
have any of you caught strong feelings but find them ugly or a little creepy?
>Bf sends me pictures of women
Women with big tits, women doing silly shit, women bounded, curvy women, naked women with legs spread wide open….you name it
What does this fucking cunt want? What if I started sending him pictures of hung men with monster dicks? I am losing my mind. Men are cretins, not all men of course,but this one is and I'm going to leave his ass. Fuck you, Kyle.
Complete epiphany/making peace with the past
I kept on wondering why, despite me having made a comic which represented my abandon from my passionately creative yet silly childhood roots for making them really long since I was 10, I still had a seemingly perpetual drive to make fanfiction despite having made one last year which had me abandon my most passionate roots since 2009, along with another…less dignified one this year that was basically me making the kind of…saucy fics I woulda made at the start of last decade (albeit with a different gender, leaving it like that): NONE of these had anything to do with the particular fandom which inspired me to start making fanfiction for in the first place.
To put it in metaphorical perspective: I shot the horse because I mistook him for the general.
So the way I see it I must make one final fanfiction of a certain fandom which brought me into the groove from the get-go. HOWEVER, this isn’t just something I want to put out of its misery as fanfiction, that has dated back to the prehistoric era of the Bush administration, is something personal to me. I’m essentially visiting the tragic ruins that are supposed to be my old hometown, sort of like finally watching a childhood animated movie you only saw in one language, now either in your second language or your mother tongue: sure you’re going to return to the magic, wonder, imagination, and purity of that age, but it may not last more than a few seconds once either your adult cynicism or the fact that you live in a post-apocalyptic world now where the rebels win will suck you back into reality (or leave you sort of in between, meaning if you’re 25 and felt like you were 9 again then you’ll only feel like you’re…17 again…(not intentional, btw)).
Therefore what I’m going to do is make fanfics for two fandoms: one for the fandom that I began writing fanfiction for in general, and two for a fandom which had me as far as discover fanfiction before I could even post it myself, meaning we’re not just talking about when I wasn’t old enough to use said websites according to the guidelines, but when I read fanfiction on websites that can only be accessed with the Wayback Machine now.
So I guess I’ll do my best. Thanks for reading me out.
what was your last relatiomship like?
>what are your standards in guys
>did he meet those
>how did you two start dating
>what did you like about him
>what is the memory you cherish
>what were unpleasant things he'd do
>why did you break up
>how do you look back up him now
Want to get back in contact with an old friend
I met this woman on a forum back in 2015 and we would hangout on Skype frequently. It was nice having someone who I could talk to freely about my problems because she experienced problems similar to mine and it was nice not to feel judged or threatened. I lost contact with her when she became homeless and lost her Internet. She had plans in place and insinuated that she would kill herself if things did not work out. I was very upset. About 2 years later, I recognized an alt she created on the same forum (she had a unique posting style and frequently wrote about the same subjects) and I contacted her. She was happy to rekindle the friendship and we began emailing for a few months. At this time I was very overwhelmed with school among other things and did not respond to an email for 10 days. She wrote a hurtful email about how I was a fake friend who did not want to talk to her and used her to vent my emotional problems, and I sent a hurtful response calling her crazy. I have since lost all forms of contact with her. It’s been 3 years since then. I recently found her new email and other contacts, and against my better judgment, I really want to contact her. I know it is a bad idea because she has a history of doxxing and stalking people, but I’ve never had a friend I could be honest with like her and I am missing the connection we once had.
Indian Guys
Would foreign girls even consider dating Indian guys (even if they're well mannered)? Most of my Indian friends that are girls would jump at foreign guys (mainly white).
How long to wait until telling my BF/SO about my rape??
So, I was raped by my adopted father brutally when I was 13 years old, well me and my sisters and little brother actually.
But anyways, I have a hard time telling any guy I'm with about this. It doesn't seem to matter whe the guy is or what stage the relationship is in, they all seem to distance themselves after about 3 weeks and vanish within 2 months. I've considered just not telling them at all but I feel dishonest about doing so.
What do??
a girl who looks like pic related (style wise) charged my ex on venmo for something I don't know because she only used the woozy emoji in the interaction.
My ex broke up with me because he was moving away for work and didn't know when he'd come back. He eventually came back like a month later and I was crushed and confused as to why he decided to end things when everything felt like it was going to well and we had a level of chemistry and compatibility that was indescribable. Anyway, I'm over it now, but I'm weirdly not over this stupid dumb venmo charge this girl left on his account a few weeks after he returned to the city we both in.
Although it happened literally months ago and I cyber-stalked this chick enough to know that she's no longer living in the same city as us, I'm still not over it. I'm generally not this obsessive as a person but.. damn I want to know what their relation was if they had one. I think a lot of the obsession comes from how I think she's genuinely prettier than me and that's what bugs me. Like a guy just up and dropping me for another girl because he thinks she's better, just is my biggest fear.
Like I literally don't care about a guy leaving me, unless I know another girl triggered it.
But anyway, what do you think the woozy emoji could mean? My therapist tells me it could have nothing to do with sex or even dating.. and could very well be something as stupid as a drug exchange but who knows.
Anyway, I feel bad for feeling this obsessed about it.. but not enough to not try to find answers.
It's literally a fucking game to me at this point.
How can you learn to love yourself without being narcissistic?
Small Vent
I just cannot draw anything I like anymore because of the art style looks like crap.
Shy boy in my class wont approach me. Is there something wrong with me?
Putting the gun on the table
Do you ever go out of your way to intentionally annoy someone to the point that they feel like hurting you? That is to say, put the gun on the table and hope they shoot you in the face?
Androphobia & loneliness sadposting
I thought I was cripplingly socially anxious and depressed. I always have to take anxiolytics to talk to new people or I get a panic attack, I'm also almost completely anhedonic and wake up everyday with this dull feeling of dread and think about death all the time, etc.
But now I think I'm actually just terrified and stressed out around men. It took me years to realize this, because my workplace is 100% men except me, and so are basically all my interests (at least close), so I thought I was just afraid of people in general. I went to a women-only cold swimming place though, and felt happy and calm for the first time in probably years. These kind old ladies chatted a bit with me about swimming, and a young girl asked if I was ok when I got lost in thought while sitting in the dressing room, everyone was so warm and friendly. First I figured it was the cold swimming, so I kept going there a lot, and excitedly told everyone about how uplifting it was. But I tried it in an environment where males are also allowed, and just felt the same tense numb feeling I always feel.
Now I dread going to work. It's not that I'm afraid of violence or that men will harass me, my coworkers are good people but I think I'm not compatible with male psychology, their low agreeableness, low empathy, low social sensitivity, and the way they unconsciously glance at women in this sexually interested way. It makes me panicked and self-conscious when anyone pays this kind of attention to me, but it's in their nature. They stomp around and interrupt each other and me, don't remember details I told them, I know some of them are kinda redpilled even if they aren't evil about it.
(I was also in an abusive relationship some years ago and two male friends in the past tried to pressure me into sex very cruelly. I don't think this reflects on typical men though, but it's horrible knowing that most of your friends are still kind of hoping for a chance to fuck you, not even because you're so attractive but because you're the only girl around.)
I feel so alone and lost. I don't relate so well to normie women or geek culture type people, even though I like them and would love to be friends, and many stereotypically female interests would be really cool to try if I had a friend. It's just hard to think about stuff to talk about, because right now I'm autistically obsessed with my field/interests (decision theory and AI safety type theoretical shit) and I'm not sure they would like hanging out with me. I of course also know there are many women out there like me even if it's a minority, but they're probably hiding in their apartments too. I wish I could work with fewer men, I honestly think I'll burn out for good soon but in the abstract I love the research questions I get to work with, and I don't know what else I should do.
It feels like I picked a failing life strategy with my career and interests, my life feels like a dead end, I just want good close friends and social belonging but I worry that ship has sailed.
There's a married couple with 2 young kids I know and the wife is cheating with the husband's friend. Is it my place to tell him? How can I do it anonymously? I don't know how many other people know…
So what do y'all feel about non-monogamy? Open relationships, swinging, whatever y'all wanna call it.
tfw no bf
Last thread maxxed out: >>>/feels/10193
Reminder:
Admin's post: >>>/feels/10163
>We ban trolls and delete their posts as we find them, but we've also had an influx of new genuine user groups who have clashing ideas of what the board culture should be like. Please report suspected troll posts and we'll take care of the rest.
Never made a Thread so I hope I did nothing wrong
Incels
I like a beta mom-complexed degenerate incel.
What do?
Should I lose my virginity to a guy friend who I don’t see myself being in a relationship with?
We both find each other attractive. I’m approaching my 30s and just want to experience what sex feels like. We communicate very openly and trust each other. I don’t see myself being in a relationship with him because I’m a very introverted person in general (it would take a lot for me to want to spend a lot of time with another person instead of being alone).
Will I regret this? What if I meet someone special later in life and regret that I didn’t have the special spark of my first time with him instead?
I'm trying to get my first ever proper psych appointment scheduled, but my problem is that I just can't open up about my issues. Like, I want to say it, but it's like I suddenly lost my ability to speak.
How do I do this, ladies? I'm in serious need of help from a professional and I've wasted enough opportunities already.
I thought I finally got what I wished for when I ran into a random normie girl from my neighborhood and we became fast friends, but she's been so annoying and frustrating that I want to get some distance. She's a lovely person and does a lot for me, but I'm so fed up with her compulsive need to be adored by everyone and her utter lack of intelligence or emotional maturity. I tend to get annoyed with people really quickly and was hoping it wouldn't happen with her because I crave friendship and was so happy to have met someone close to me, but holy fucking shit. She has so many annoying habits and quirks that are so utterly predictable, I can tell what she's gonna say whenever we enter a certain part of town, she repeats the same stories to me every time we meet and they're extremely cringy on top of that. I've been saying things like "I know, you don't have to tell me every time, I actually listen to you" but to no avail. She's extremely unsure of herself and as a result, she tries to please every single person she meets to avoid any sort of rejection. She seems too naive to realize where her weaknesses lie. She believes to have excellent people skills, calls herself a 9/10, and talks about how great she is at "psychology" and has even offered to by my "therapist" for certain topics. Realistically she's an extrovert but a terrible judge of character, closer to a 7, and reads mommy blog-tier psych websites at most. Guys butter her up (or neg her) because her constant need for acceptance makes her easy to manipulate and further inflate her ego, she takes all the compliments at face value but not the way they actually treat her, which is nuts to me.
Within an hour of running into each other and starting a convo, she had already told me her entire life story including launching into childhood trauma and giving graphic details unprovoked. She texts a lot, springs random pseudo-philosophical questions on you, walls of text everywhere. She got attached to me quickly and intensely and tells me often that I'm already her closest friend and most important person in her life. She tells me how much she appreciates my insight and how I read people and constantly asks for advice. It's been getting to a point where I feel like I'm entertaining a teen. She's very bubbly, happy, energetic and outgoing. She loves meeting new people and connects with everyone. That's how the trouble starts because she wants to be very important to everyone and tries to fast-track relationships by putting her everything into them even when the other person barely reciprocates. Her version of events is vastly different from how I perceive them (based on the exact quotes she gives me, texting convos she shows me etc.)
She's such a nice girl and puts a lot into our friendship. She's been calling me her best friend and citing me as one of two people who are the sole reason she's staying in this town. It's all I could ask for. But holy shit am I tired of her essentially acting like a 16yo school girl who's dating for the very first time, not a 29yo woman. I have so many stories about her baffling and confusing behavior and have been typing it all up to vent, but I wanted to post this summary first before I launch too far into it.
She's been noticing that I've distanced myself a bit. Last week she ran into my only other local friend B at a party, who recognized her from a photo and introduced herself. Later B messaged me telling me that every single thing I had told her about my normie friend's weird behavior made an appearance that night, and that she brought me up too, talked a lot about me, asked if B and I had hooked up (oh yeah, she's tried to hook up with me before and told me she had a crush on me but knew we weren't compatible for dating but asked if we would essentially be best friends with benefits who also go on dates -I declined)… and even told her that I don't text as much anymore. I told her I need a bit of a break from her guy stories because of how frustrating they are to me, and otherwise I've been not texting as much, but we still hang out approximately the same amount except for the fact that I'm traveling more recently.
B is just about the sweetest person in the world and told me she doesn't want to conclusions after just meeting her once and with the confirmation bias from the things I told her, but that she was super weirded out and uncomfortable and that she suspects my friend to be on the autism spectrum. I disagree because the spergs and autists I've met have given me a different sort of vibe, this friend seems more like garden variety emotionally unintelligent (she has a good career but is definitely more book smart than anything).
What should I do? Tell her I'm down to be more casual friends but not with all the pressure? Or shut the fuck up and be grateful I have a sweet friend who adores me and would do anything for me even if she's not my ideal friend type?
Does anyone else have anger issues?
I think if I were a man I'd be abusive. I think that's disgusting behavior and I would never intentionally hit anyone. I haven't ever hit anyone… But sometimes I think that's only because I'm weak. Sometimes I get so angry I want to scream. I see red. I just can't fucking see and everything and everyone is dead to me.
I'm glad I haven't got friends anymore, because I'm tired of hurting people with the things I say. When my boyfriend finally leaves too, I'll be completely free. I'll be alone, but, free. Do you know what I mean? My anger will likely never be fixed, but I won't have to always apologize. Every day I'm groveling. Everyday I feel like shit because I am shit.
Please don't say 'therapy'. I recently tried it. She said she couldn't accept me as a patient. She thought I was too much.
I feel like offing myself. I can't go on about my day without crying, I wish I wasn't serious.
I began dating a really sweet, kind, loving and just over all very respectful guy a while ago. Time doesn't matter, we have a healthy relationship. It's not any of that.
I'm just so fucking reliant on him for my mental stability, sisters. I deadass can't go a day without thinking about him, if he's not with me, I cry, if he's with me, I completely forget about everything. I got home from his place like an hour ago and I'm already feeling like I want to drive off the nearest bridge. I feel empty.
I cut off the online community I was a part of for almost a year because the people were getting unbearable, ultimately losing most of my friends in the process. I feel lonely and I don't enjoy anything. I'm not very good with making friends otherwise and I have moderate trauma related to bullying/grooming, so you can imagine what kind of a person I am.
My boyfriend treats me well, respects me, always knows how to cheer me up, but the moment I'm not with him, I just go back to being the fucking autist I am. I don't know what to do. Everything takes too much effort, I just want to cry in bed and never leave.
/cozy/
This thread is for /cozy/ thoughts to make you sleepy so you get enough sleep anonettes ! Or just to relax and drift off a bit. Do you usually drink hot cocoa before bed ? I do and it helps me fall asleep all warm and cuddly.
Please share your stories of female viciousness and jealousy.
I had a group of girl friends since elementary school and I was always the “weird” one and the butt of a lot of jokes. I never really minded (at least, consciously) because I was quite introverted and didn’t mind poking fun at myself.
Fast forward to the present year. I’m 28 and I know how to take care of my appearance and I just got a good job in a big city. I bought myself a nice purse when I signed the job offer and the day one of these friends saw me wear it, she completely changed the way she interacts with me. She must have told our other “friends” about my new wardrobe additions because they’ve been acting weird too.
I can’t be in a room with them without having insults and backhanded compliments thrown my way. Or reminders of random shit I did as a child. I’ve been asked directly how much money I make and how much I spend on various things. Things I saw are mocked for no good reason. I’d feel sick every time after one of these hang outs.
Anyways … I luckily moved for the job and cut contact with these childhood friends. But I still feel kinda disgusted that they never really liked me as me, they liked me under the condition of me being lower in their imagined hierarchy. At least I can say I’m better at spotting such people now (if they shit talk others they probably shit talk u too) and I’m better at not letting such people in my life.
I can't fall in love easily, I can't even get interested in someone easily.I only fell in love once we weren't even together. I talk to multiple boys but I don't want to do anything with them. I'll just be stuck in my sadness forever. I'm so lonely and it's been months since I saw him
So, since Friday whenever I was in class I started not being able to breathe correctly and my heart rate would increase then after some minutes it would be unbearable and I was forced to leave.
That's a panic attack right? First time having it.
Now the thing is that I've never been that anxious or afraid of anything and I was super chill in class. This happened all of the sudden.
Anyone can help or relate?
It feels like I've been doing wrong stuff for my entire life and I've wasted it on completely useless and meaningless things.
I can't relate to other people, can't force myself to watch/listen/talk about anything modern and hip. All my interests are completely obscure and not relatable. I can still get drunk, socialize, and talk shit, but it has grown on me like a cancer and now everyone who's around me think that I'm a clown. I guess it's a punishment for being a moron.
The only character I can even remotely relate to is this green little frog. Yeah.
Becoming Stacy
I feel like the only path left for me is to become a Stacy. This is a last-ditch effort before I take my revenge.
How do I do this? I want to get as close to aesthetic and physical perfection as I can, but I know it's impossible for me to truly be a Stacy, as the mindset and lifestyle is foreign to me. I just want to look the part, basically.
I'm so sick of feeling inferior, disgusting, and worthless. Everywhere I look, all I see are women being valued on youth and beauty only. My window is closing soon. I don't want to live my life never knowing what it's like to be beautiful.
Have any of you become Stacy, or achieved Stacy looks? What does it entail? I don't even know where to start beyond weight loss. Is it hair, fashion, and makeup? Will this make me happy? Or at least make me feel like I'm worth something?
>Live years of my life repulsed by the mainstream narrative about relationships
>have gfd be the first form of relationship / sexuality style I ever get interested in after years of nothing
>find a community of people who have /gfd/ leanings
>atlast.jpg
>begin to read about peoples negative experiences with sub boys and the bdsm community
>slowly get fearful / put off of the prospect of pursuing such a relationship
>this is fine, I was on the volcel road anyway, now I just have to continue to not try
>year and a half passes
>out of seemingly nowhere, brain decides to knit some new neural pathways that look a bit more like mainstream vanilla sexuality (no overtly sub stuff just being more ok with ‘bottoming’ and receiving affection rather than my previous touch-me-not self)
>still living single so no major changes there but the changes in my desire profile feel bizarre to me
>all this time believing I was different and for what
Am I weak, or am I just human? The idea of getting stuck with all the responsibility must have begun to outweigh the discomfort of the notion of mainstream vanilla life. Ironically, throwing the idea of <i>not</i> having to do all the work must have made more vanilla life look good by comparison.
My sense of self feels weird. I’m not overly bothered by the development, which in itself is quite the change from my previous state of mind. I’ve gone through brief phases where I would become fascinated with the concept of being in a relationship before, and they would go away as though they never happened leaving only mild embarrassment that I thought I was capable of having one, so perhaps this is the same.
Anyone else have similar experiences / thoughts?
I molested my brother
So we were camping together, sharing the same tent. And I wanted to look at his penis. So I put my hand down his pants and got a feel, and after I retracted my hand from his shorts he woke up and then went back to sleep.
Did he notice me? The fuck do I say? How so I apologise?
How do I motivate myself to do literally anything?
I just don't fucking care. I'm not motivated to grow up and be a real adult. I don't give a fuck if my tantrums are childish. It's comforting to me. I don't care that I live with my parents. I don't care that my job is the lowest of the lowest and that I would be homeless were it not for my parents. I don't care that my relationship is ending because I'm a bad person. I don't care that I'm not pursuing any of my interests, any of my goals. I don't care that I'm failing everything I work towards when I feel the slightest bit ready to try. I don't care that I don't care.
I'm not depressed. I can get out of bed mostly, and I go to work. But overall I just really give no fucks. My life consists of sleeping, working, and surfing the net, and while i'm not depressed, I'm not happy either.
It seems it doesn't matter, though, because at the end of the day I am not motivated. Not even rock bottom motivates me. It used to. It used to scare me that I might become a loser, but I'm slowly accepting it. Getting more comfortable with this reality. Is there a drug I can take that makes me feel like doing shit? I don't want the zombie drugs the depressed folks take or the cocaine-esque drugs that make you bounce against the walls. I just want to feel like DOING something. I want to feel inspired. I want to live. I just want to fucking live.
Why is crystal cafe moid friendly now?
There has been a rampant moid infiltration in these past few months that nobody seems to care about. Why are we not rebelling against this? This is a safespace for women, not a steamy gay locker room….GET OUT..MALES MUST BE KICKED OUT OF OUR HAVEN…BURN THEM AT THE STAKES
How to not be raped
We all know that it's dangerous to be outside alone at night as a girl. Let's collect here some tips and advice for making it safer.
1. Use umbrellas, not only do they make decent-ish weapons and look intimidating, but having them open over your head makes you appear bigger and therefor more threatening to the evolution based animalistic brain (i think the parts of the amygdala?).
2. Pepper spray
3. Have 911 dialed so you can just call it instantly if the situation is really scary
4. Make sure to let others know where you are and when you arrive at home etc. This way they'll be able to know that something might've happenee if you're not there at that time.
5. Park your car as close to the entrance as possible to minimalize walking.
6. If you notice someone following you in a mall, it should never be a problem to go to other girls and act like you know them while asking if they can check if the guy is actually following you or come to security with you (you can do the same too if you see that happening with another girl).
7. If someone actually grabs you, try to make yourself pee, poop, puke, etc. You might be able to have them let go of you.
Those are all i can currently think of, if you have more, post them!
how to less nice?
I'm too nice, I never think anything is anyone's fault than my own. It's really hard to critique/criticize anyone but myself. It makes it hard to know what I really want and really think.
>how to be more assertive or even mean/bitchy?
>how to be less automatically nice?
>confrontational people – why aren't you scared of losing relationships?
Jealously and insecurity
so heres the deal
the one thing that's really crushing my confidence in my relationship is my boyfriend's thirsty-ness, i understand that its normal for him to find other girls attractive but he literally has enormous folders with pictures of Asian cosplayers and egirls and its fucking with me. He is also kinda mentally invested in some of them (remebers things from their's personal life if they post something about it on their ig story etc.) I tried being more giving to him in that field (hq nudes, masturbation videos etc.) but you know those folders still do exist and he still follows a bunch of those lewd content - making women, ive shown discomfort about it in the past but to be honest ive never directly said anything about it. We were in a fwb relationship at one point amd and he was really out there commenting on their pictures and shit and never on mine and it hurt. (he started since i told him that but to be honest i dont give a fuck if he comments on my posts or not i just don't want him l u s t i n g after so many women). At one point a girl (@yuno on ig) posted a picture with a caption "if you know your girl is insecure get the fuck off my page" i remember posting a screenshot of the caption to my story and him responding something along the lines of "fucking love her" i literally don't know if he thinks im okay w that bc im bisexual.
Im just worried that im being jealous or acting crazy
seeing all of my friends getting together, going to restaurants , movies, sleepovers, etc. online almost every weekend for the last two months. I haven't been invited to any event with them since early November/ October. I recently cut one of them off, she was horrible to me and i feel much better without her, but they all got mad at me for cutting her off. there were 6 of us, and they all obviously favored her over me. I can tell none of them enjoy talking to me. They were my only friend group, and they will replace me. I know who ill be replaced with too. two of them still talk to me, but only in school, because i sit next to them. Ive always been regarded as the "weird girl" and they were probably embarrassed to be friends with me. I want to just cut them all off, and stay talking to the people who matter, better yet, id rather be completely invisible to everyone around me. I just want a normal friend group of people who actually like me, wont make fun of me for my interests or embarrass me. i also feel like im unhelpful to my mum, i really love her, and shes going through a lot right now, so she knowns none of whats going on, but i cant even get up the majority of the time. My room is a mess, and I haven't gone outside (other than walking to school/ to get in a car etc.) in over a week. i eat everything i see, and it makes me feel awful, but i dont want to slip back into old eating habits. I feel like my dad thinks i dont love him. my parents have been divorced since i was 2 or 3, so i only see him 3 days a week, and when i do i just stay in my room the whole time, and it feels impossible to get up, but i want to so badly. i want to spend quality time with him and i want him to know that i really do love him and im extremely grateful to have him, but i dont know how. I feel like when my parents are eventually gone, ill only be able to think of how i never spent time with them, and just stayed in bed and on the computer all day, i feel like a piece of shit for everything i do. im sorry this is all over the place i just needed to get everything out.
self strangulation
is it possible to die from self strangulation? I'm not talking about the "night night method" but like, just to squeeze tightly one's own neck and die from it… If it's possible, can it be done in a way that won't be painful??
Virgin Thread
Post here if you haven't lost your virginity.
>turn 22 in two weeks
>never had sex
>never had a boyfriend
>only kissed a boy once in high school
>too afraid of rejection to actively seek relationships
I feel like I have and am wasting my youth.
What am I supposed to be doing here? I feel so much regret. Everything I do becomes a mistake. Sometimes I think I should be doing something really important before I hit 30, but I'm already 22 and have nothing to show for it. There are people with homes and children by my age. Man I just want to be happy. I want to be content and feel like I'm on the right path.
how to be less monogamous
I have been in 3 long term relationships. I don't need to watch porn, I literally just get off to the thought of my significant other. I could do this indefinitely. No one else is attractive to me except the person I'm with, when I'm with them.
I've realized it's always unfair in that my significant others watch porn. They are essentially fantasizing about other women in doing that. How do I train myself to not only get off to my partner? I feel like I'm too monogamous and it makes me self-conscious. I know that asking my current partner to stop that they will probably agree, but still use porn and hide their usage of it from me. So how do I unlearn to be monogamous?
What's stupid, too, is that my current partner stresses how monogamous he is. If that were true, he wouldn't get off to others. The reality is, he's just like every other polygamous male. I feel alone in being a truly monogamous person. I have a very high sex drive for what it's worth, it's just I cannot think of anyone but my partner.
>Be on 4chan
>Too much misogyny or just ignorance about women
>If I reply to someone about it I get called a roastie/tranny/white knight
>Be on c.c
>Too much misandry or just ignorance about men
>If I reply to someone about it I get called a moid
Why is 4chan full of porn nowadays?
A few years ago I remembered 4chan as an interesting website where people had good topics to talk about, but now every thread is full of misogynist porn or "erotic images", I really don't understand the necesity of upload porn in every single thread.I finally left 4chan, and after a few months,I found cc, I'm so happy about that
Thumb sucking at almost 19
Hey guys, my birthday is only a few months away and I still suck my thumb. I have major depressive disorder and psychosis along with anxiety. How should I kick this habit? I’ve already kicked my porn addiction of like 8 years. I’ve tried playing with my hair, rubbing my feet together and shaking my hips side to side (when I’m trying to sleep). It’s one of the only things that calms me down.
Does anyone here as if being a woman is inferior ? Sometimes I wish I could have been a man, not in the transgender way though. I am just confronted to a lot of mysoginistic things daily (both online and offline) and it's as if I've accepted that being female automatically makes me inferior/stupid/unworthy. I wonder if I'm the only one feeling that way. I just wish I could be seen as more than just a female. I'm typing this very late at night so I apologise if my thoughts do not make much sense but I really need to just try and phrase my feelings out and look for advice.
The "cool girl" trope
Narcissists are using this trope to bully real women, its connected to that thing where if girls like anything obscure such as cars, (or things that are portrayed as obscure but isn't at all; videogames, anime, comics), there will be a narcissists to bully them because they are jealous of the love they receive for having interesting interests that unite the genders together because they want to divide the genders and cause problems between males and females by making them think females cant like things that are not hyperfeminine.
I will also point out that jpop and anime (or much of japanese culture itself) is actually feminine, narcissists will act like jpop is obscure and that if a female is into it it makes her a faker that is obsessed with male approval.
I was a virgin wife of my husband and i am into programming and jpop/anime/90's-videogames and needlefelting, crochetting, (a bunch of feminine things i would think) out of these subjects my husband is just into videogames and some anime, our shared important interest is being redpilled (in a way that is not anti female, we see other factors are at play manipulating the genders to cause conflict between the genders when we should just be getting along naturally). I eat what i want but i am overweight and trying to lose weight through calorie counting and skipping breakfast so i can eat how much i desire still.
So my interests are not for male approval.
Don't be ashamed of liking things that are obscure (or seem to be portrayed as obscure when they are not), that does not make you a pretender, it makes you actually cool and its okay that people and men like you for this, just don't be a slut because you are not one of the guys).
Friendmaking thread
Currently have no friends and have been experiencing panic attacks all day. What are you guys up to and how are you coping with life?
minmi#2792
Can we have a wholesome thread?
Post memes, stories, anything uplifting. <3
Something you wish someone would say to you
Whats something you wish someone would tell you right now?
❤️
the only profession that interests me is coding for games but im scared of the misogyny
I worry that I'm tiring my boyfriend with all my shit. He already has a lot on his plate and is too much of a sweetheart to shoot me down. He is such a great guy but doesn't realize his potential and worth hence why he settled for me. Even though losing him is the worst thing that could happen to me, I have to accept that he can and deserves much better. How do I open his eyes? I can't just do this to him ..he is wasting away and I just want to disappear from his life somehow. What should be done?
Help
I just took videos of myself talking to my camera and I look incredibly hideous. At times, I don't even look human. I don't know how to describe this feeling but I can't shake it off. My ugliness is making my skin crawl and I think I'm going to break up with my ebf because I don't want him to see me ever. Talking to him feels embarrassing now because I just feel hideous. I don't know if this makes much sense but I feel so embarrassed for the people that have expressed interest in me. Please help..if this continues I might just rope myself. I am tired of this vicious cycle of feeling okay about myself for a few days only to get back to this point.
bored
i feel so fucking bored lately. nothing feels interesting or good. like i look around a room while eating dinner, watching TV, at work, and just think "Damn, this is so stupid. Why is this happening. I hate this".
I know it's depression shit, but my depression usually feels sadder and not so blank. It would almost feel better to feel sad. At least then it feels sort of meaningful?
> what do you do when you're bored?
Does anyone else get the impression that women are being brainwashed?
Right so, unpopular opinion here I'm sure. That said… Sometimes I feel like the media is trying to convince women that being empowered, strong, and respecting themselves, is the same thing as being sexual, naive, and sexist (towards men, but sometimes towards women as well).
I feel like in order to be respected by fellow women now, I need to have a disregard for any romantic relationship because a "man has no right to control me", which is true, but also that doesn't give me a right to treat him as replaceable and unworthy of me because I'm a 'queen'. It feels like I have to show all of myself, and there's a reverse slut shaming where girls who aren't comfortable with that are against the flow of progress or are prudes. It feels like while the media says it's empowering to dress in little to nothing, really we're still sexualizing ourselves for others. I could go on and on but my point is that sometimes, I get the sneaking suspicion women are being controlled by this new wave of feminism. It feels like originally, the message was pure, but it's been tainted by the people in power who profit off of women acting the way they do now.
I don't know. If you disagree, please tell me why. I'd like to have a conversation about it but have nobody to ramble at.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
Is this true?
Can moids really not have any sort of less than romantic relationship with a woman without trying to make it romantic?
While I know I have friends that love me I can't feel anything towards them.
My family fucked me up I can't feel anything for other people.
I only fell in love once in my life and I can't forget it since then, it's been 7 months since I last saw that person and it hurts.
I feel like everyone is wasting their time for me even though I need their attention.
How do you deal with people misuderstanding you because of your lack of social skills?
I finally made a friend, but she's always surrounded by other people so i'm always awkward when we're playing vidyas ir whatever.
Because of that she thinks i hate her but i just can't communicate and like a normal human.
Tldr; I'm retarded help.
>had to take plan b the other night
>will be about 2 weeks before I can even take a test to see if it worked
I cant shake the anxiety. I took it immediately, within 30 mins of realizing the condom slipped which means it's 95% effective, and my dumb luck means everything usually works out in the end, but I'm still anxious.
I have a friend that basically existed on plan b and rum this summer and she reassured me that it's going to be fine,but I'm still anxious.
Lonely people are lonely for their own faults and deserve it.
a whole new decade
Hey, how are you feeling about new years? I know it happens every year, but this is the start of a new decade, the calendar is never going to read 201X ever again, for the next 10 years it is going to be 202X.. It may all be in my head, but I want to start it off right. Do you have someone dear to spend it with?
Does anyone else here live in a tiny country with no hope of finding anyone else to love like you?
this is gonna sound cringe but
ive always wanted to get into the kawaii/edge/alt aesthetic , i ve loved alt fashion since i were 12 t b h.But im ugly and poor rn and from my calc my lyfe wont be steady enough until my late twenties ,to be able to afford such shit.
My issue is that its considered cringe/ridicules/ugly/ for women in their 30+ to wear such stuff ,just look at how that kelly person was dragged.
i know i shouldnt let stuff like that affect me but honsetly it does ,being ugly/old in alt fashion feels ita
>inb4 jus dont wear too cutsy shit
i have a feeling that that would be a insincere compromise and jus grim
Childhood friends
Is it even possible for a boy and a girl to be friends for many years without developing romantic feelings for each other?
I don't have many friends, let alone childhood friends, but I sometimes think I really miss something, it looks really cute at least in fiction.
I have this weird habit where I idolize groups or categories of people and it results in making me feel worthless and disgusted with my life. It also happens sometimes with people who treat me badly, then I think, "who cares if this person is trashy sometimes, they can also be cool sometimes". But mostly it's just groups in an abstract sense. Does it happen to anyone here? How to stop it?
rich poor problems
I was gratuated in fine arts 2 years ago. Since then, I face a lake of inspiration. When I have an idea, I think that somebody did it better than me. When I want to work with something, I think I can't make it more beautifull than it is already. I feel like my degree is not true and don't understand how I get it. But I did with honors and I know those thoughts are dumb. Now I try to have jobs to have money but not to much to have time to create. The truth is that I have no jobs so no money but no time to create either because I am to stressed. I want to be an artist and do exhibition but when I am invited to show what I do, I freak out, I don't trust in myself and present works that I don't like and then I feel like shit. So I fill my days with other projects that I like but it is not what I really want to do.
Today, a friend of my parents asked me about my work and I didn't know what to answer. I feel ashamed when I have to talk about that because most people don't understant that my major activity is not what I am payed for.
Do you have tips to deal with it ? Did you experiment something similar ? What do you think about work (philosophically)?
What is your internal struggle like? What thoughts or temptations are running through your mind? What is it that gets you down?
How do I cope with being a shitty person?
Hi, I hate myself. I have nothing good to say about myself. I've gotten so insecure that I constantly judge other people in my head to cope with my insecurities. I tried to work on my insecurities, but I ended up just having a mental breakdown after 18 months. My therapist says that my insecurities are a part of my personality, and that no matter how hard I try, I can never change my personality. The only thing that's valuable about me is my boyfriend who thinks I'm a great person. I think it's just a matter of time before he realizes what I piece of shit I am and leaves me. What do?
I'm getting older, and I wanted to share my wisdom with you.
As a woman, men will try to drag you down all the time. They'll try to say you'll hit the wall and loose all your value.
This is false. Most men are bald and fat by the time they hit 35. If a woman was struggling with her appearance, she would wear a wig and try to diet. Men? They don't care, and expect you to put up with their toad-looking selves.
Men want to know exactly how much they can get away with. This is why they ask about your exes. Do they have large shoes to fill? They ask themselves "What's the bare minimum effort I can put into this woman?"
Always set the bar high for them. Always. Don't let them do the bare minimum, make them do more. Do you think he would hesitate to move mointains for a Victoria's Secret model? Of course not. If he wants you, he'll move mountains for you too. Always dangle a carrot on a stick and expect more from them, but don't be rude about it.
DO U EVER JUST WANT TO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE
tfw stressed as fuck. I haven’t been motivated to study can anyone else relate
My boyfriend literally cannot accept that I love him as much as I say I do and it’s seriously disheartening. No matter what I say or do I just know he doesn’t believe I feel the way that I feel about him and he’s sort of vocalized this before. He’s been cheated on in the past so I understand emotional trauma and a hesitance to trust but we’ve been together for over a year and my actions and words still don’t get through to him and it makes me feel bad. Thoughts?
Attractive but unattractive but attractive
Pic unrelated. I just think it's appropriate, given the day.
Does anyone else feel like they're the most hideous and most cutest thing to ever exist at all times? It's strange but I simultaneously hate myself and love myself. I think that the loathing comes from the paranoia I feel about how others see me. I dress however I want, no matter what anyone says, and yet I feel like the happiness that it gives me pales in comparison to the acceptance I would receive if I just dressed 'normally'. And maybe the lack of acceptance (though it may just be in my head) is what causes me to feel like I should throw everything in my closet away.
This isn't coming out the way I wanted it to. It's very hard to focus. I just wish I could fully embrace myself. Sometimes people tell me I look ridiculous or frumpy or even ugly, and there's a part of me that breaks, but there's another part of me, the narcissistic mad lad, that almost takes pride in being a frumpy, ugly weirdo. 'Fuck yeah, I'm frumpy. And you'll never meet anyone as frumpy as me, either', it says, yelling over the part of me that's quietly sulking in a corner.
ramble over. Merry Christmas, ladies.
Due to outside forces i was forced to NEET for what is going to be a bit more than half a year. Its awful. You just sit around, not doing anything with your life. There is no goal. There is no reason to do anything.
>I gained 1/3 of my original weight in the 6 months so far. I havent showered in days.
>My house looks like a pigsty. I havent dusted in months. I havent washed my clothing in weeks.
>Depression took full control of my life. My sleep is fucked. I sleep either 12+h/day or 2h/day.
>I do nothing. I only sit, watch tv, play games, browse the internet and other meaning less things. All day. Every day.
>I picked up so many hobbies, so many studies and i dropped every single one of them. I have no energy, for nothing at all.
This is a fucking joke. I cant wait to have my life back. Fuck this shit.
@long time/voluntary NEETS how can you do this? It gets only harder for me to get out of bed with each day that passes. How havent yall killed yourselves already? What makes you want to continue?
Im going to an acquaintance's recital tomorrow. I have seriously fucked up her view of me by acting snobby, gossiping and making fun of her (with a friend who i know wont tell, but we were in the same room, whisoering and giggling while looking at her. I know it sounds like im a middle schooler but i swear im not). my reason? She is gorgeous, fit, feminine and perfect in many senses while i am not. I am jealous of her and thats why i did that. i want to try and mend our relationship or if not possible, at least my reputation in her eyes.
Another thing: i am also attracted to her, and while i wont be asking her out, i will definitely get the stutters and such around her. What can i do to 1. Mend my reputation with her 2. Not fuck it up by being a dumb gay mess?
im honestly very nervous, how do you fellow nervous pals handle all of this ? i usually try to supress my thoughts with media but that doesn't always work obviously…
the "sub chad"
Does he exist? Is it worth hoping that i'll find it one day or is it just a myth. Not just sexually submissive obviously, but submissive in general. If he does exist, is he a decent person and not just a womanhater who has a secret femdom fetish? Is it possible to find a nice attractive boy like this?
I'm dating this INFJ guy. I'm an INTP. It's been pretty great. He has a shit ton of baggage though. I want to be exclusive eventually, I think. But I'm not really sure if we can due to his personal issues and my external circumstances. I'm trying to make the most of it. Regardless of the outcome, I want to finally build a deep and intimate connection with someone I'm attracted to. I've had relationships in the past. One of them was great and we got along very, very well. But we weren't profoundly, emotionally connected. I see that in hindsight because of my current relationship.
Anyway, I don't really know what I'm asking. Maybe, like, how do I make him mine/love me back? I mean, I think I'm in love with him. Not really sure.
Giraffe pic because he said I've given him the best blow jobs of his life. Wow! I'm surprised. He's super attractive and has had way more sexual partners/meaningful relationships than I have, so it makes me feel really good.
I know how to fix depersonalisation.
Been depersonalised for 5 years and i have finally figured out how to start getting over it.
Step one you have to keep trying and dont give up
Step 2, by trying, i actually mean you have to teach yourself that its okay to relax, you are very stressed, fixing yourself requires no work, just relaxing.
Step 3, all the emotions you feel are actually normal emotions like you felt before, your brain is just trying to make you believe bad things by making you worry and think that you dont feel things strong enough, or that you feel things too strongly and will get hurt from feeling things too strongly.
Step 4, dont give up, relax, dont worry, you are in the now, you already are here.
Life is painful
Just being alive feels so painful and difficult recently. I don't know why, I live a good life and nothing especially bad has happened to me. I just hate the world and I hate being alive. I feel guilty feeling this way when things are pretty good for me but I can't help it. I find no motivation to do anything.
What is wrong with me?
Which emotions does this photo evoke in you?
Have something bothering me but no one near me care and i need a help to stop this feeling.
I was raped from someone of my family when i was 6 years old and thats bothering me until nowadays, and i realize that society prefer young and naive girls, i feel that when a woman gets older she becomes less desired.
And thats freak me out, i feel so bad and sad about that and i hate to know that have a lot of mans near me that prefer young girls but hide this desire and its so creepy to think about.
i hate these thoughts so much, how i stop to think about that? i want to stop caring about what a men and society prefer. Someone help me …
Im so lonely because im a boring, sensitive and ugly person and i hate this feeling. How i can fulfill my loneliness without interact with people?
Also, sorry for any mistakes. English is not my native language.
Adult Acne
I have such severe depression from my adult acne. I'm 22 and I always thought acne would go away in my 20s but it's still here and getting progressively worse? I've had acne ever since I was 12 and it's just getting worser and worser. When I was 13-17 I used benzoyl peroxide to dry it out. What happened is that the gel cream I put on every night basically dried the whiteheads out and then I'd touch my face, pick at the dried zits, and watch it fall off my face. This left so many blemishes, it looks like I have zits on my face when it's really just the scars and hyperpigmentation from them. Also, benzoyl peroxide has the side effect of aging the skin faster since it dries it out and peels the top layer, leaving the skin vulnerable to sun damage. My skin is absolutely ruined from acne and now I just found out I'm going to age faster too.
I've been on the mini-pill since I was 15 to help combat the acne. It worked for a while until I was 19. Then I started getting cystic acne. These giant painful nodes would just pop up all over my bottom jawline, neck and cheek area. I thought the pill was supposed to help with hormonal acne? I did take biotin which has the side effect of creating acne breakouts, but I since stopped and still have clusters of acne in the same area, just not as drastic.
I've been using both hormonal preventative measures through the pill and topical treatments like benzoyl peroxide, but nothing seems to be working. I'm a hygienic person so it's not lack of showers or my pillowcases causing it. What the hell am I supposed to do? My doctors keep telling me to wait it out but I've been using both treatments for years now and I still get acne no matter what I do. To be fair, it has died down a bit, but I still get a cluster of zits and it just looks terrible in combination with my acne scarring and dried skin from the benzoyl peroxide.
What products should I use to prevent acne? What products should I use to heal scars? How do I wear makeup without breaking out? I suspect it is my makeup because I am the type to wear it everyday, but I'm not too sure what's up with my skin and what the hell is going on with it.
Anyone else here dealing with the trauma of being raped as a child? My mom’s boyfriend used to use me in the worst part is he gave me herpes which can never be cured.
I'm getting to the point where I don't feel comfortable posting on social media anymore. Reddit, Discord, Twitter, Instagram….the works.
I hate that everything is tied to my identity forever, and it doesn't automatically delete the way imageboards do (unless you're on 4chan with a tripcode, then people can search your trip…I guess…).
I wish social media would automatically delete my history after 1 year. I'm usually a pretty active user, so deleting all my comments is annoying.
I wonder if this is stage 1 cancer from imageboard use. What is stage 2?
I'm really happy because I may get kicked out of med school and I'm really excited to see how depressed my parents get.
i just want to be hugged by a biological male
How do you feel about traditionally chivalrous behavior (i.e. opening doors for you, walking you to your door)? Do you like it when guys act this way or does it make you uncomfortable?
The impact of someone's suicide.
4 years ago my boyfriend killed himself. Looking back at it the relationship was very toxic and absolutely destructive. Of course i am not happy about the fact that he died, he still was a good person even if he was mentally unstable. I want to honor his memory. Of course this subject still makes me sad, i still wish he was alive. It happens that I blame myself sometimes, i was his girlfriend afterall, i could have prevented this from happening. But what is done is done. I wonder if some of you had similar situations…
>tfw you got everything but life's still shit
A while ago I ranted on here about how I hated my life because I sucked at housekeeping and my husband resented me for it.
Well, everything changed. He asked me to get a job and he'd take over, what was all I wished for and what would be objectively better.
Guess what, I found my dream job. Two of them actually. The fields I was most interested in. That always fascinated me. Perfect environment. Even the husband is impressed and satisfied. Awesome pay.
And I'm still sad. Now the realisation hits that I will be outside and away from the kids because I'm a useless toxic piece of shit that otherwise strews disorder and decay everywhere. I'm contained where I can't break anything and where my useless niche talent will yield objective values for material needs.
I will literally be buying my kids' love with shitty expensive gifts.
Please tell me I don't completely suck so I can believe it.
Do you care about how a man dresses? I do and none of my friends do, I’m convinced there isn’t a normal man out there who I can just take shopping with me and actually offer valuable critique and appreciate the same things as me. Am I in the minority for wanting this? My friends don’t care about how guys dress so I feel like some weird outlier
How to show interest when a mean approaches me
Most of my friends think I'm a lesbian because they had never seen me with any men and when some guys approach me. How do I show interest in them? How do I behave if when he wants and I want too?
>Songs you love/used to love but can't listen to because it triggers painful memories/feelings
Mine is Lucy Rose- Shiver
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YoYbpBGaJM
Such a beautiful, comfy song that I can't enjoy because it reminds me of my first love, who really liked this song. The guy that just got away. There was no closure, stuff just happened and we just went apart. All is left is bittersweet memories that this song always triggers. When I really focus on the lyrics I can't help but tear up a little, knowing I'll always be haunted of what could have been if things went a little different.
Your turn.
I wish we could be more like birds, where males are more known for their beauty and have to impress us and compete using their beauty.
On today's menu:
I realized that I actually CAN'T stop drinking.
I'm fucking up my live because I can't get out of bed and myself to do something thanks to constant hangover depression that roots in constant drinking.
I stopped for two weeks and actually got my shit back on track. Got up in time, visited classes, cleaned my room, talked to people, went to work, all that stuff.
But I only managed to stay sober because I bought alcohol daily (without consuming it) and the tease of being one step away from a nice warming drink kept my brain somewhat in line.
Yesterday I fucked up after I realized that two weeks of bingeing lie around in my apartment by now it looks like I'm running an illegal liqueur store. It came to me that I can't start hoarding alcohol instead of drinking it to make anything better so I'm where I started and I had a rough one and blabla.
What followed was me getting hammered and not getting up in time.
I lost 90% of yesterdays evening and I can already feel the constant drain of my general interest in existence outside of being drunk again.
It was quiet nice to not feel that sensation of overall emptiness for a while but for some reason I decided that its time to come home to misery.
It's not helping that basically all my friends are on the whine aunt/vodka in my insulation jug soccer mom road and I think that's exactly where I'm also heading now.
I'm not asking for help or something, I bet I can score a marriage with some emotionally deceased accountant guy who needs a trophy wife in order to make his mother finally shut up, so I have a plan. I just needed to tell someone to finally accept that I spectacularly failed at being alive (aka not getting addicted to something you aren't forced to come in contact with, that is making you sick and that you know has an addictive nature). I'm just glad we are out of the survival of the fittest phase in terms of me getting killed on the spot for my stupidity.
I think I'll just stay with my Husbando
I don't really have anywhere to post this, so sorry if this is spam.
But I've been thinking of quitting dating all together and just commit myself to my husbando. I've been obsessed with the fictional character on and off since 2005? Definitely a majority of my highscool days. I just hate dating so much, I've never really been on a actual date more then a few times. Everyone I seem to fall for in real life never seems to reject my feelings. I guess I'm just used to one-sided relationships. I've only really been in one relationship and it failed mostly because of my mental instability and because I'm such a mess he didn't love me. It's not like I ever plan on getting married or having children, aside from my cat. I just think I would be a lot more happier if I stopped trying to find someone. He is still my ideal but think I'm the most happiest with the idea. The idea is perfect. In my head he accepts me and loves me for who I am. I know it's unhealthy in a way.
I don't know where I am going with this post. I just wanted to rant. My friends don't talk to me as much anymore. Once again sorry if this is spam, just ignore it.
If you are committed to your husbando/waifu, I'd love to hear about it.
I am in desperate need of advice
Hey. I'll try to not bother you guys with unwanted details and I'll cut straight to the point.
Hi. I'm an 18 year old femanon, and I'v been in one relationship before. During that relationship, I had a history of an anxiety disorder and some other psychosis, I was 14, and I got extremely attached to the guy. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, welp, anyways, turns out he was very toxic, we broke up, blah blah blah
tl;dr: I'm glad we didn't stay together for a long time, let alone got married.
Cut to the current year: I am mentaly stable with very little anxiety and I met this guy over an,ehkhm, anonymous board, where we discussed language and what not, I gave him my discord, and over the next 10 months, one thing let to another and we are currently in a long-distance relationship. I really like him,and we're meeting for the first time in June, however, there's a bit of an issue: he's never been in a relationship before me. Too autistic to make a move, I think that's cute and all, but, one day I brought up the theme of marriage and children, and I told him I'd like to marry him someday in the not-so-far-future. He got really fond of this idea and he's been kind of pushing it today - I reply to him saying I feel the same way, but honestly - I feel very scared. My confidence has gotten better with him, and i really don't want anybody else, but… I don't know if I'm ready to think about it seriously. I'm also worried that he thinks he wants to marry me but it's just the sort of feeling you get in your first relationship… I don't know what to do here, honestly… I don't know how to position myself in this situation, and I really don't wanna end things with him either. I mean, we spend 5 hours talking every day and all, but we haven't even seen each other in real life yet! please help.
Thanks in advance, and thank you for reading my long-ass post I feel a bit better now that I've verbalized what I was worried about. Thank you.
To suicide or not to suicide?
I am obese (over 100 kilograms), ugly, unhygienic, mentally ill (untreated even though I went to the psychologist but I will tell you later), unpleasant to be around with (even my so called online friends talked shit about me behind my back - i cut off contact with them though), and incredibly naive and dumb.
So, to fix all these problems I went to the psychologist for YEARS. But they didn‘t help me, or barely did. Or it didn‘t help me because I am incurable. I am the type of bitch to not shower for weeks and be okay with it, because I don‘t care honestly. Today i ate like shit, my mom didn‘t cook for me and I am not allowed to cook for myself so I warmed up some canned meat (no bread or anything just the meat) and even though it tasted like literal shit, I still ate it because I was hungry and literally don‘t give a shit about the taste of my food. I am fat because I eat a lot of it, but the taste of the food I eat is literal garbage and has been garbage for some time (4 years). I recently went to school for adults to redo high school since I am too stupid to not have been able to graduate high school MANY years ago, literally. My mom paid me a lot so I could go to university, but I failed all of the times in the past 4-5 years. I know I should go to trading school since that is where retards like me go but community college level 2 didn‘t accept me back when I was 16 and I didn‘t want to go to community college in my town because I was heavily bullied in my first year. (Yes i did the lowest level of community college/trading school).
Obviously, I didn‘t have ANY friends EVER in my life. Nor did I ever had some fun, except going to mc donalds. Yes these are the exciting things I do in my life. I never went to starbucks either, even though i really want to. But the only food thingies where I go to are ghetto shit like mc donalds and shit. I wanted to go to some concerts on my own but my mom told me it‘d be better if I‘d lose weight, make some friends and graduate my adult high school, which I will never do anyways. So I won’t ever have fun in my life. I got in my first semester only Fs. And I missed an important math exam today which I was supposed to redo. I only do this year three subjects, maths, chemistry and biology. And next year i was supposed to get the rest of my diploma. I wanted to complain about my mom since she didn’t want to help me today with my homework, but honestly looking back I don’t have the right to complain. I was a pretty shitty daughter. I say was because I really want to end things. Anyways this fat whore wanted to die ever since she was 8 years old and literally has no reason to continue to live. I fail at everything, probably have borderline personality disorder/some other kind of evil personality disorder because I lie a lot since i‘m embarassed by my past. Except now of course, now I am telling the truth since I‘m anonymous anyways. Anyways the point is…I don‘t want to live and if you‘re reading this/making fun of me now give me one reason why I deserve to live, because honestly I don‘t. I feel like I am a burden to society and if I don‘t end myself, I feel I‘ll probably do an Elliot Rodger. I am serious, I feel like I can snap any time. The world has not been kind to me but it isn‘t to anyone, so why do I have the right to fail so much at everything?
>inb4 i‘m not trying my best
I literally went to the hospital to volunteer, but they said fuck off after ONE day just because my social skills aren‘t the best. But i wanted to improve them by volunteering.
t. Crazy fat dumb bitch who probably posted this in the wrong board and has been wallowing in her own shit since she was 11
Is consent to sex consent to pregnancy? How hot of a take is pic related? My personal attitude towards sex has always been to only do it with someone I love and would have a kid with, but it seems like an unpopular opinion. Most normies seem to be into casual sex and hookups, and even polyamory. While I don't think these more modern attitudes towards sex are necessarily a positive change, I also think it can be counterproductive to push more traditional views like this. I don't think there's any right answer to this question. Ultimately I think it's an individual decision, since everyone has very different personal experiences and attitudes towards sex. I'm curious to hear others' thoughts on this though.
Someone said something mean to me on 4chan and now I'm sad
I can't forget him. It's been 9 months since I saw him last time,it's been like a month since we talked.
We never really got together. He found a gf and doesn't even remember me.
Anyone else has a problem liking people romantically and falling in love?
I fell in love once and because I have this problem I can't forget him.
We never even were together.
Anxiety
Does anyone else get anxious about certain situations and they don't even know why?
For me I'm a student, and I'm really scared of talking to people, but I do fine in most of my classes, I just do the work. But there's one class that always really makes me feel terrified to go to and I don't know why. I think it could be the teacher makes me nervous, and also how loud the class is, but honestly I don't know exactly. It gives me a really irrational anxiety :( (sorry for blogpost there)
Anyone else struggle with anything like this? How do you deal with these intense feelings that you don't even understand, nevermind know how to get rid of?
Is it weird that I’ve had more crushes on fictional characters than actual men?
I feel like a degenerate around some of my friends because they’ve openly made fun of people who have crushes on fictional characters, especially those from anime and cartoons. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had an actual crush on a dude irl.
I hate this
I don't want to live but I can't end it because of a few people I care about (and I'm too scared)
What am I meant to do :(
How to deal with needing constant affection
I feel like I'm way too emotionally dependent on my bf and even though he pays attention to me I still feel neglected
I think it might be because I'm lonely and don't have any friends but I can hardly talk to people cause of social anxiety
stuck at home, don''t know what the ever-loving f*** to do
Long story short: I want to drop out of uni and move to a new city with new beginnings, but my parents are unsupportive and say they will do nothing to help me move out and just let me rot at home with my father until I decide to go back.
Long story long: living with my father all these years legitimitately makes me want to kill myself. We live in a town with a population of nothing but baby boomers. I know no one besides my father, who ignores my existence 99% of the time. I have no friends or other family members here. I have lived here for two years now and have more than a year left to go at this school. I'm getting a meme degree, culinary arts, that guarantees me nothing more than a job that I already have. I keep flunking my classes because not only do I work to save up, but I am so depressed and just want to come home and cry about how lonely and miserable I am when I get home from work or school and can't focus on schoolwork. I also miss so many classes because I can't get out of bed to go to school so I get F's for participation which results in a failing grade for the class. A year and a half may seem like nothing, but I'm almost 30 and just want to live out the rest of my 20's being happy and having friends, plus with all the classes I'm flunking it may be delayed to another 3 years or more before I graduate.
I can't drive so moving far away on my own isn't an option. My parents said I'd have to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars to pay for someone to drive me because they won't do it and I don't know anyone else who can drive to help. This is on top of me paying for furniture, first month's rent, etc. to get me through the first month of living somewhere else.
I told them eventually I wanted to possibly go back to school and major in something useful that I actually like (culinary arts was not my choice, but my parents') but they said that was stupid and I needed an associates degree first (which is what I'm currently getting and it's taking for fucking ever).
I don't know what to do. I'm so miserable. Please eat me alive if I'm being stupid and could be doing something better, because I need the advice right now. I'm supposed to talk with my advisor later today about registering for classes and I just want to flat out tell her no, I'm not coming back but it doesn't look like I can.
Lack of female friends
I lack friends in general, but especially girl friends. I had a couple during my time at school, but most thought I was weird and the girls I did befriend I am no longer friends with and was never too comfortable with anyway. I get along with boys well, but I feel like I'm missing out on having a mutual friendship with a girl.
I also tend to feel inferior to other girls, and that holds me back.
I don't really know what I'm looking for posting this. I want to vent but I also want to maybe hear about you guys struggling with friendships. I'd really like to have a best friend.
I hate Halloween.
I enjoyed it as a young child but as you get older it becomes day for all the popular girls and guys to have parties and dress like sluts and drink and have sex.
Now I'm a fucking loser because I never got invited to halloween parties or worse a skimpy costume and fooled around with Brad from the baseball team or from the frat in college.
I fucking hate this holiday.
my friend stopped talking to me
i can't stop crying. i just want to go to bed.
i don't have anyone now.
i'm all alone.
i don't have anyone.
Has anyone ever considered or tried suicide? How is the best way to do it?
how do you deal with being super embarassed? i wish i culd just disapear from this place for some moments, i hate this feeling
Suicide
- do you know anyone who committed suicide?
- how did you feel? and how do you feel now?
- how do you feel about suicide? is it fair/unfair/right/wrong/a choice, etc
Share your thoughts.
(I'm unsure if I should post this to /x/ or here, but won't mind having it moved.)
blah blah max capacity blah
>>>/feels/res/25163.html
I am in a world of shit
I can't get over him. Not sure what I'm supposed to do now. I'm a wreck and I tear up at the thought of him. Had to excuse myself from class because I couldn't hold back my tears. There's no getting back from this, there's no default happy state to fall back to. I was miserable then and I'm miserable now. The only time I've experienced genuine happiness was when I was with him. Should I just off myself? I feel like there's no place for me here.
Le mames
What qualities does /feels/ require in men before doing anything with them?
Relatives pressuring for me to get a bf and get pregnant
My parents want grandchildren. My great grandparents want great grand children. Since all my cousins are very younger I'm their only hope.
It fucking sucks how the put me under pressure for this. I know, at 28 yo I should already have a bf, but I don't, and it's not because I don't want one, and putting this pressure on me won't help.
Anyone with a similar problem?
How to cope with being ugly?
Anyone else struggling with their appearance? Being ugly takes such a toll on your mental health. I have been obsessing over my appearance ever since I can even remember and lately my condition has worsened. I spend every second of the day thinking about my face and picturing myself from an outsider's perspective, so as to validate or invalidate my self image. I am tired of constantly asking people for assurance and digging out photographs of myself from the past. I am tired of taking pictures from every angle, flash on, flash off, natural light skbfubfkb you get the idea. tldr; i am hideous should i off myself?????????????
help
i dont really know where to complain about this, either way even talking about it might make me sound like a transphobe but here it is: i have so many female friends that are turning into transmen. I am not against them doing this, honestly they're good people but… since there's so many of them around me i feel like it isn't really a trans issue but more of a self esteem one. A lot of them have had bad experiences with men, were lesbians and overall envied how "easy it was from a guy's perspective". I dont want to judge them for choosing this life but there's so much of them now. The funny thing is that they're all part of the art community in some sort. If anyone can explain to me why this is happening, why there's so many of them that are starting to become transguys (like this is getting a little bit ridiculous), i'd gladly listen. If i decided to ask this here, it's mostly because on other platforms i'll be called out for being transphobic without anyone explaining me why im being transphobic; and also because since this is a FtM issue some of you might help me understand better. I feel like more and more girls envy men's lives when in reality both men and women have their own set of struggles.
Basically, im starting to become sick of it on the long run, even if i try to be nice and accepting. Just why the fuck is it happening?!
Relearning math and science while also managing college?
Is this possible
I vented a couple days ago on here and I think my ex found me (male who shouldn't be browsing this board anyways) and asked a weirdly specific question about where I live. Now I'm even more stressed and my mental health is even worse. I found a place where I could maybe be safe from him controlling my life and making fun of my issues and it turns out it's not all that safe because of my ass of an ex. My episode I'm dealing with is now so much worse thanks to him. I'd go see a music show but he won't let me go to those either. What's next? Is he going to go and tell my work about how terrible I am when I'm psychotic? I know I'm terrible when I'm like that but it's hard to like control, my ex would know that too because he's dealt with psychosis but he's just a fucking pussy hypocrite that browses boards for women because he can't handle 4chan. Thanks to my ex for ruining my fucking life and making me feel so lonely and hated.
who's an overly afraid person ? im often afraid of weird things that could just happen out of nowhere. Sometimes im scared of things like ghosts or people randomly coming to get me. I work a lot during the days and dont get much time to relax, but when i do im afraid something might happen.
Do some of you overly afraid anonettes relate ? How do you usually deal with being scared like that ?
I wouldn't say its full on anxiety, more like when you don't want to watch something because it makes you scared and want to hide until it stops.
ITT: Unusual feels only you have
I’m a successful high fashion model but I’ve never had a bf due to awkwardness, possible autism, shyness, and social retardation. I have literally 50+ new creepy guys sending me DMs on insta (usually dick pics) every day MINIMUM. I know there are men who want me but I just can’t do it because my head is fucked. Dates seem terrifying. It’s horrible when I have a job with a cute boy, and it’s even worse if despite all my quirks they’re really nice to me… and turn out to already have a fun bubbly extroverted gf.
I really just want to fucking kill myself at this point. I can't take it anymore the thoughts are really obsessive, I broke up with the dude I was with because I was afraid my ex would ruin it for me, and I can't get close to people. Justin if you're reading this you won, you're not supposed to be on here but you've officially made my life fucking miserable and sad and lonely. I've lost most of my friends, I can't make music or perform because of you anymore, I can't enjoy my favorite bands without you or one of your roommates at the show to try to kick me out because I know you know what music I like. My relationship with my family is ruined too because of you. I hope you're happy Justin, I hope you're so happy (just kidding I don't). Go ahead tell on ke to my dad and have him yell at me anf almost lash out on me physically because I know that's what you wanted to happen. I can't handle this anymore I'm so fucking lonely too but I can't make friends because I know he's going to find out and use his band's influence and his connections to ruin that friendship.
I'm not sure if this guy likes me or not,
We met at a rough times in our lives and hes a kinda broken person (addiction depression etc) but that made me curious and we got to know each other and I just treated him as kindly as possible and he ended up opening up to me about things, a few times hes told me about how he never opens up and it feels good to be able to, and one night I sent him a picture of myself nd he said "You can really see your gorgeous eyes in that one". He sends me flirty photos sometimes like of him without a shirt on etc but I'm not sure if he sends that to everyone.
I've gotten a few light signs of disinterest from him, but I'm not sure if it ties into him having trouble being open/being awkward or if it's just signs I should back off.
Yesterday we hung out for the first time since we got closer and he was friendly, and one girl brought up my hair and he said he noticed it and told me "It doesnt look bad" which isnt a flirty compliment but I dunno if that was his vague attempt at it. A few times hes sorta brushed off the things I've said to him but recently he said "aw I'm flattered" and last night I told him he reminded me of myself and when I'm doing drugs with him its not cause I'm sad it's to make a good thing better and he said he feels that.
He makes me feel such a bittersweet happiness, I want to be the one to love him and make him feel his worth. Hes had very bad experiences with girls before (told me he would be up at night wondering why he wasnt good enough) and I wanna show him what genuine love feels like.
I'm not ready to be completely honest about this all with him but does anyone have advice on the situation or advice for things I could do to sorta drop more hints?
how to meet people?
How am I supposed to meet and create long lasting friendships with people when I spend all my time online shitposting to the point where my sense of humor is retarded and when I am so swamped with work that I can't even keep up with any of my shitty reclusive hobbies like comics and watching childrens cartoons so I have nothing to talk about
i feel like i can't talk to people. i'm so shy and honestly just not a funny person until you really get to know me. i can't relax. i'm even worse in group settings.
tips for meeting people in these circumstances? preferably loser girls, it seems like loser guys fall in love with anything that moves.
>iwn have a depressed autistic bf with the same obsessions as me
why wven live?
I'm so tired of living. I thought it would get better over time but finding a job is just as impossible as it was yesterday, my libido is dead and I don't even ever want a partner anymore, the prospect of dipping out is getting progressively more tempting and only because I can't imagine anything after death to be more insufferable than my life and all the worries it brings with it, like financial issues. Why couldn't I have been born a normal person with a normal childhood and a normal adulthood? Why does mine have to be like this
just venting because I don't know what else to do haha
I have effectively no friends besides old high school pals that I never see and have nothing in common with. The last sexual encounter I had was five years ago. I have no significant other. This is my last year of undergrad and I haven’t networked at all aside from becoming familiar with a few acquaintances from my classes that I studied with or whatever.
My life is tolerable because I take a high dose of Effexor to numb myself. Although I no longer experience suicidal ideation owing to the medication I would not at all mind dying in my sleep.
Been feeling really rough lately. My long term boyfriend broke up with me over 6 months ago and I'm still struggling to get over it not because I miss him but because he left me while I was having a psychotic/manic episode and completely ghosted me on top of dumping me over text. He's living large and happy right now and I'm just struggling with my mental health and my lack of friends. I found a new guy but it's hard to give my all to him when I still feel really hurt and fucked over by my ex. I don't know what to do. I take my meds like I'm supposed to and I do therapy but none of it works because I cannot get this motherfucker out of my head. He even talked about my mental illness and made fun of it with his friends. I feel so hopeless right now.
S/o just wrote this. After everything I've done. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I hate getting high
It used to be amazing the first few times.. It was a euphoric, happy, and adventurous experience for me back then in highschool. Now I have trips where I feel like everything is fake and reality is so weird and I'm going insane. My thoughts start racing and I enter into a panic attack. My heart beats wildly, I can't breathe and I fear that I'll die or stay crazy. On one occasion I feared going to sleep because of this when I had eaten a brownie late at night. These bad trips happen when I get too high, but even smoking a little makes me sperg out. I look in the mirror and spend an eternity looking at myself and focus on every flaw. I become introverted and dwell within my thoughts, and sometimes I can't even talk right. These experiences have affected me to the extent where I even disassociate while being sober. And yes, I did quit.
I lost my job back in 2017 because I was bullied by older co workers most of them seniors since then ive lost all respect for my elders.
I got back into digital art since then but I need other things to do in my free time any ideas?
F
I dunno about you guys but I'm ready to end it. Everyone keeps telling me to just "choose to be happy"
>Don't come out of room during family event
"Anon! Stop being so rude and antisocial. There are family."
>Come out of room during family event
"Haha, anon is like an animal! She only ever comes out of her room when she smells food!"
How do I win
I can't fuck my boyfriend anymore. I could fuck someone else but I can't fuck him anymore for some reason, I don't get turned on.We've been together for 6 years now. I love him and I want to stay together with him. Since he never cheated before I started wondering if I should tell him that I don't mind it.
Sensations
What are some weird sensations you enjoy?
For me, it's when you get your blood pressure taken and the cuff inflates around your arm. For some reason, I love it.
You walk into a room and see these guys. What do you do?
Seriously though, are you a nervous/awkward person?
Today I saw a social media post by a teenage boy complaining that a girl cried that she found out he was assigned as her partner for a project.
Everyone sided with him. Nobody cared to understand her reasons for crying. Everyone cared about his feelings, nobody cared for hers. He only cared about himself and cared none for the fact he was hurting this girl. How dare she have emotions that aren't what he wants!
It made so angry I want to kill OP and all the people in that fucking thread.
Advice General
In this thread we ask (or give) for advices to or from other miners
Don't be unnecessarily rude to each other
How to help bfs relax?
I have an autistic boyfriend who I've gotten into college so he can get a degree and finally put his head to use career wise and get out of dead end jobs. He's fantastic with computers and doing well but pushing himself incredibly hard with part time jobs and clubs. Just wanting advice for things I could do. Yes I know sex is obvious but what else? He doesn't like being touched sometimes so I could think of.
>cooking him a nice meal
>watching something he likes
>playing video games
I feel really anxious that he might burn out so I just want to help.
I think I'm done with my relationship
I know my boyfriend doesn't love me as much as I love him. I also know in the event I stopped trying altogether, our relationship would crumple. I am the support beams. I am the affection. I am the energy. I am the therapist. I am the one who tries. And when I am not, there is nothing. Nothing, until I can get back on the horse and become everything the relationship needs to breathe.
And I just can't do it anymore. I think about this so often now, even when we're both happy and there's nothing wrong. I think to myself, I can't do this. Three years of my life down the drain. I chase men who could never make me happy, it's always like this.
I give up. Fuck it. I would've died in childbirth anyway, and what man would've proposed to me regardless. I'll just be the weird aunt that drinks too much.
Ain't it fun
Living in the real world
Ain't it good
Being all alone
So what ya gonna do
Was there ever a time when you realized that people were laughing at you, not with you? Tell those stories.
Coming of age
At what age does one stop being referred to as a "girl" and referred to only as a "woman"?
Everyone knows at this point that woman = adult human female but as a 26-year-old turning 27 in two months I get called a girl 95% of the time, even by people who are aware of my age.
I thought that by age 25 people would start calling me a woman only but I guess not? So what's the cut-off age? I know this is probably a weird question but I was just curious.
face hate vent
I just got a haircut this afternoon (no drastic change) and of course took a bunch of selfies when I got home to see how it looked, send to friend, etc.
I have a really weird face and looking at the selfies started to upset me. All my features are huge – I like my big eyes and big mouth but I hate my big hook nose and big forehead. My eyelids are asymmetrical and I have really dark circles under my eyes. I'm embarrassed to think people look at me everyday. I don't think I can ever afford plastic surgery for my nose, and it feels like a waste of money anyway.
What do you hate about your face? How can I not hate my weird face?
>pic related and also lol pepperoni eyes
Media/Entertainment (especially Japanese media) and self esteem
Not sure if I should make this one on /media/, but I'll try here.
The idealized beauty is also there on western live action movies and television, but not as much since at least for my personal taste 2D people look far better.
Is it stupid if I feel that media, especially Japanese games and anime , ruins my self esteem?
>watching some random anime show
>every single girl look gorgeous
>everyone has a waist long perfect hair
>everyone has the hourglass body with a big butt, wide hips and huge firm breasts
I dunno, I seems like people in their world are, on average with prettier than in ours as we just seem to consider them as just everyone treat them as they were at most above average.
I know it’s silly, but I sometimes I keep wishing I was prettier even if I’m not inherently ugly or anything. It is amazing how reality is dull and 2D people are ugly, I don’t even care about what others think, I just want it for myself. It’s not that I forget that people like these are very uncommon IRL, it’s just that I think I’m not enough, or worse, reality is not enough.
I mean, I hate those idiots who whine about muh race casting, we need fatties and trannies on TV too and pretend they are healthy!, and I know it’s my fault to look for something I cannot achieve but I sometimes even think about stop playing games and watching anime because of that, but’s it’s still my favorite form of media so I don’t know what to do. Anyone else with a similar problem?
I just wish I was 2D. We need to transfer our minds to machines so we could create our own worlds ASAP.
my life is going to shit and i want to smoke.
should i just do it?
Anyone else want pets but don't have the resources to treat them well?
I want a dog or rabbit as a pet but fucking can't yet because I have neither the space nor time to be a good companion to it. I really fucking wish I had the apartment space for a large dog but then I can't let him out enough to be fair to him with my current job. I wish I could have a fucking rabbit because they have to stay indoors all the time but but the fucking city I live in bans them as pets god fucking damn. I just want a fluffy pack animal that I can call my friend and vent to about problems argh.
How do I stop drinking?
Boyfriend's Voice
My boyfriend normally has a clear, tenor voice, but when he's talking to strange girls his voice drops like an octave and turns to a deep baritone. I think this deep voice is incredibly sexy, but it kind of bothers me that he never uses it when he's talking to me, except when he just woke up. I talked to him about it and he says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Should I be worried?
Pic unrelated.
I know I'm never going to have friends
God I hate people who say they're lonely and have at least a dozen friends. I hate people who say they're lonely and have plenty of suitors. I hate them because I wish I was one of them. But it's not their fault I'm a fucking pariah I guess…
I just want to be a wife and a mother. Why do I have to go through college to get a degree I don't care about and don't want to use? I just want a family. Female liberation was a mistake, now I'm expected to start a career when I just want to be a housewife.
LDR and stuff :)
Hey! I recently got in a long distance relationship. I live in the Balkans, he lives in Finland.
We plan to live together im Finland in two years. Any advice?
What do?
Hey.
I just really, desperately need help.
Look, this is my first time on crystal cafe, I've mostly been on /int/ and /his/, but I genuinely need help and nobody has been able to help me, I'm writting this so I don't loose my mind before my next therapy session.
Truth is - I've been keeping myself together these past days the best I can, but I can't keep this shit inside my head anymore.
I've been nervous and anxious and acting weird for 3 weeks now. But I think I began to loose my….stuff a lot earlier. Maybe July.
The thing is, I've been trying to change. I've been treating people badly untill like…. 2017.
I've changed a lot since that, but I have an ideal I want to fit. I have my patient care teacher as my main role model - Honest, yet kind, extremely nice and pleasant. Full of understanding for everyone. Ambitious, smart, but most of all - wholesome.
I've been trying to fill this ideal for a while, but the last few weeks/months - my worst thoughts have surfaced.
Of course - I try not to show this, but I don't know for how much longer I can keep it in.
I've talked to my friend who's really interested in psychology, and, what Finns call "kitchen psychology." - Pseudo psychology, basically.
And he basically told me that I built a wall, perse, that divides me from my past self, and my past self has now surfaced, along with the thoughts I've been having. And that I should live alongside my past self, because it will never go away truly.
I've been thinking about drugs, bursting out on people who have wronged me, etc.
I also noticed I started to lie a little bit, and that I need constant verbal reassurance and validation from everyone around me.
I should have prefaced this by saying that I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was 14, my father used to abuse me and my mother, and even though my diagnose is stable at the moment, I noticed I've been more insecure and more self - centered than before, which are all traits I thought I got rid of. No. I only supressed them, seems like.
What do?
Is it ok to feel crushes while in a relationship?
My current relationship, I would never leave I guess, but it got a lot sadder than it used to be and he treats me way differently.
I hung out with a friend today and my heart is doing flips thinking about his big hands over my little ones and his eyes and maybe he would be nicer to me. I dont know. (Showed me how to hold something).
I'm an awkward introvert that wants to socialize. Had some male friends in high school that I still play games with, but now I'm in college and the only time I talk to people is in class or online. How do I get adopted by an extrovert?
Is it normal to still be in love with him even if we talked like a month ago and the last time I saw him was 7 months ago?
I can't do this anymore, I even told him and he said it wouldn't work out why can't I move on?
Help-a-neet
> I'm 21 / neet /
> Boyfriend is 23 works full time in a semi decent job that pays enough to cover all bills including pets ( from his past relationship dumped by his ex )
> when I met him I used to work at a company as an office assistant
> I quit the job after being there for a few months due to being (sexually?) harassed
they put my pads in a wall I was the only female on site
> boyfriend insists on me living with him after I quit said job.
> move in with boyfriend and completely feel lost in new town and work online to pay for anything expensive ( see: vintage clothing )
>boyfriend covers bills and refuses to let me work until I get ~depression under control ~
> I'm currently stuck in a cycle of depression and binging habits
I'm not sure how to fix my life and I have no family in this country to talk to and most of my other family hasn't seen me since 2012
( I'm sorry about any typos.. ESL)
Photo very sadly related
Are your dating preferences influenced by your first love? Do you find yourself attracted to people who have the same features/personality/looks as the first person you fell in love with?
Does anyone else get sad when they see beautiful men? It's just a reminder of being unattractive because no good looking men have ever wanted me. Is there a way to cure this negative thinking?
I'm aware this sounds narcissistic, but I'm sure I'm not the only one here.
how to get a hot humanities bf?
in uni, i see them all the time HELP
random online crushes
Do you ever crush on girls you see on social media that you've never interacted with? I'm going through this currently and don't want to feel alone with my creepiness. Please share.
i am 100% heterosexual
i never had sex with a guy
i had sex with 4 girls
>MPA bugged the fuck out again
ok anachans, what are the cool sticks using these days as an alternative? inb4 livejournal
Quitting cyberstalking
How to quit cyberstalking people?
>Obsessively stalk a bunch of people, most of whom I went to high school or college with.
>Especially those who were mean to me.
>Want to know that my life is better or something.
>Others are people I've met only once or twice (or never).
>Have some quality or lifestyle that I wish I could have.
>Want to absorb every little aspect of their life so I can be like them.
In bother cases I save up incriminating stuff or sometimes leave them mean comments to make myself feel better. Wish I could just get over it and forget about them.
Lying about your age
Anyone here done this (for any reason)? If so why did you do it and were there any repercussions?
I’m 28 and after a series of events that happened within the past few months I’m considering knocking about 9-10 years off my age to start an e-thot career. How bad an idea is this?
Pressure to excel but I want to do something else
Hi all, posting here rather than on a forum for anonymity.
For context, I'm currently a college senior at a top university in my country in Asia. Not gonna reveal too many details, but basically it's a school full of people that are wealthy, smart, or both.
There are lots of things happening in my life (young adulthood and graduation are transition periods after all) and for the most part I'm happy with where I currently am.
I am content with being average. although I am fine with being average, and I am currently contemplating to disinherit myself to become a monastic, I don't think my family or the people I'm surrounded would appreciate it.
I feel pressured to excel, and it does not even have to be an explicit, verbal thing. Because of my background (above), it is very easy to feel insecure when you're acquaintances with the children of businessmen, politicians, scholars, celebrities, artists, athletes, musicians, etc. It is easy to brush away insecurities regarding famous people, brushing off their beauty or glamour as 'photoshopped' and 'curated.' But I find it not so easy at all, in my case. When you go to class with actual models, national athletes, and teenagers that have start-up companies… even some of our country's presidents are alumni of our uni. It's frankly a surreal experience.
What makes it even more surreal is that seeing these people as acquaintances just going about their day, their day-to-day lives aren't that far of a stretch to the ones filtered and manicured in a social media profile. Another thing is that many of them are unaware of their privilege. While there are always those that are jerks about it, a lot of them are just so… "humble," or at the least, "innocent" about it? Real conversations I've had with my classmates on their experiences such as: 'oh i lived in 5 different countries growing up because my dad's a government official,' or 'yeah I placed on a national scholastic competition when I was younger. it was ok' or 'i do practice every week because i compete for the national team' etc. to name a few.
The thing is, they're so unassuming and nonchalant over their achievements and privilege you can't even hate them for it. The humility might just make one admire them even more.
I think I have some qualities that aren't bad at all, but I still can't help feeling inadequate by comparison to my (very skewed) social circle. I do not want to bring my friends down, but the social pressure makes me feel like I am wrong for not wanting 'to excel.' I just really want a slow, reclusive, minimalist life in a rural village where I can sleep on a hammock and tend to my chickens and my garden. Living a monastic/hermitic lifestyle pretty much cuts one out from high-wealth career options, not to mention marriage.
Still very grateful for many things, but at the same time I feel very disoriented since after all, graduating is a crossroads in one's life.
Similar experiences and advice welcome :)
Trauma and Recovery
>14 year old me, freshman year of high school
>internet socialite, meeting new people all the time online
>loving member of a small handful of tight-knit communities
>read maximum ride book series
>"come to our official website and talk with other fans!"
>log on, see they have a giant public chat room for the whole site
>meet a ton of new people
>become close with a guy, start private messaging Eachother
>talk all the time, become really good friends
>couple of months pass
>one day he comes on and starts telling me how horrible his home life is
>tells me he's going to take his own life
>spend an hour trying to talk him down, no use
>tells me he's ending it, and goodbye
>he logs off
>proceed to log on every day for over a month to see if he changed his mind
>can't eat, can't sleep, all I can think about what I should have said to save him
>after several weeks, it sinks in
>he's not coming back on
>he's dead
>give up on waiting
>stop talking to internet friends
>ghost all the communities I was a part of
>can't form relationships on the internet ever since
It's been almost ten years since that happened, and I'm still afraid to even add people on discord. I've been making an effort to try putting myself out there more since I graduated college last year, things like actively trying to comment more and talking to people in video games.
I even tried playing VR chat just to see if I could make any friends there, but it makes my computer crash too often.
I'm sure that there are plenty of other people here who've had traumatic experiences and had it ruin parts of their lives, but i don't think any of our lives will improve until we can face what's troubling us.
If anyone wants to share advice, I'd be happy to listen to what you have to say. and if you have something bothering you too, I'll give whatever advice I can.
The world sucks, I don't think anyone can argue that, but if we can stop letting our pasts control us then maybe we can make it suck a little less. We've gotta help eachother out, right?
Obessions
Have you ever been obsessed with someone in a non-romantic way?
Limerence
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence#Characteristics
Are you experiencing or have you ever experienced limerence for somebody else? What is your story? How did you recover?
I've recently learned about this concept and understood what I thought was "love" is actually limerence for that person. It cleared up a lot of things for me and I hope I will now be able to take the right steps to get over it.
Bipolar & Schizophrenic Feels
Can we have a thread for people who suffer from either of these illnesses? I made a thread including both since the symptoms often overlap.
What meds are you on? Are you stable or still struggling? How do your family/partner/friends react to your symptoms? What advice do you have to give to newly diagnosed or struggling patients?
Also general vents and greentexts are appreciated. It’s easy to feel alone when struggling with a severe mental illness so it’s nice to hear stories you can relate to.
*And please don’t turn this into a thread complaining about your mom, ex-partner, or anyone in your life with these illnesses who “wronged” or abused you when you don’t have the illness yourself. There are other threads for relationship and family venting. Let this be a support thread instead of a hate thread.
Cutting contact with parents
Has anyone else cut contact with their parents? Why did you do it and how are you coping?
>Cut contact with my mother a year ago.
>She's narcassictic and had started getting worse and worse.
>She's never tried to contact me.
>I don't want to speak to her but it hurts that she doesn't even care enough about me to try.
>Cut contact with my dad too recently.
>He's always been pretty distant anyway and enables my mother.
>He refuses to see how horrible she is to me.
>He tried to email me a few times but seems to have given up without trying to understand why I don't want to speak to him.
I live abroad and it's hard when people ask about my parents and I have to pretend I'm still in contact and that I miss them. I don't go into detail about the situation as I don't think people would understand.
Selfcare
How do you treat yourself?
How should you deal with urges to isolate and push away?I'll have these mood swings where on discord I'll delete everyone and leave servers, I'll delete other accounts, I'll cancel plans..Whatever. Just this sudden urge to isolate and push away. Not for valid reasons like me only having toxic friends, it's just caused by some unknown mental illness. Maybe depression maybe BPD.
~Feel good~ songs
Music you listen to for motivation, brightening up, self care etc.
What makes you feel good and capable?
Missing being single
I know a lot of people here are struggling with loneliness and being single. I did too for a long time. I'm finally in a longterm relationship with a dream guy who is perfect for me but I'm starting to miss being single.
It's not that I want to date someone else or sleep around or anything like that. I just miss being a loner with complete independence (we live together, work at home and share the same hobbies). My relationship isn't controlling or abusive, just normal. I guess I miss being able to be weird in my own way without having someone else know about it. Not anything that crazy but like eating nothing but chocolate ice-cream for a day or getting up in the middle of the night to walk around outside without having to explain it to someone else.
I know if I was single I would be so lonely so maybe I'm just romanticising my past since I probably won't be single again ever.
Has anyone else ever felt like this?
are you religious? if yes, to what extent and which religion?
OCD + Gay content warped my mind in how I see men and their sexuality
So I've always lurked and posted on 4ch like alot of us here. Over the course of time I've been exposed to alot of gay shit and gay culture on the site (that I wish I was still unaware of) and became obsessed with trying to figure out if all men secretly want or prefer to fuck other men…or atleast a dick. I have trouble getting off during sex because of childhood abuse, and I was never able to relate to the women in porn. Seeing how men enjoy themselves in gay porn (though to be fair, IT IS porn) worsened this, I have to pretend to be the guy or to picture gay porn in my mind to be able to cum. During this, my mind has me feeling like less of a woman, and my mind has been warped to believe I as a woman could never satisfy a man. I know I'm being a schizo but I want to atleast just vent and see things written out.. To see how unreasonable I'm being.
Helping my sister get out of my broken shadow
>Be me, 18f, sister is currently 10
>I had a very codependent and emotionally blurry relationship with my mom ever since i was born, was treated like a best friend/life partner even since i was ~6
>Mom micromanaged my entire life and isolated me socially in a way that you wouldnt believe
>I was nerdy, into anime, quiet, smart, friendless, awkward, obedient all my life, this led me to be very academically successful at the cost of my own mental health
>Ff to this year, I move overseas to live with my fiance
>I was already considered a golden child by my family because of the academical success, but theyre now straight up kissing my balls because im in western europe
>Im afraid that now that im gone my mom is inflicting the same abuse on my sister
>Sister is following the same life path as me, nerdy, awkward, into anime, but she loves her friends and is 0 interested in her studies
>Entire family but especially mom makes constant comparisons between us 2, how i was good at this and she isnt, how im smart but shes not
>I asked mom to stop comparing us at least in front of her because this is not only going to make sister hate me, its definitely injuring her self esteem and making things only worse for her
>Next time my mom calls shes complaining about how sister isnt as good as me
>I ask her if sister is at least not around
>She says shes right beside her watching youtube
>i tell my mom to stop the call right now because my sister can hear it, she gets angry and says shes too small to understand
>text my sister later and she mentions what my mom was saying word for word
What do, i love my sister and i dont want her to feel like she is under my shadow, i want her to be at least mentally healthy and happy
I went to electronics shop to buy nintendo switch lite and find there my ex bf.
He didnt noticed me at all.
He looks really kewl right now, became more robust, shaved his virgin moustache and neckfur. He also wear some classy clothes.
Life is shit, I wanna kill myself.
Disappointed
>feel mildly attracted to a shy guy
>tells me he isnt a virgin anymore
Me being a virgin, I don't know how to feel about that. Hes still cute, but hes more experienced than me and I don't like that.
What would you do?
Is it weird to always want to become best friends with your love rival? Whenever I like a guy who has another girl interested in him, I always feel a strong desire to befriend the other girl, and I don’t know why. Sometimes I spend more time IG-stalking the girl than the guy I have a crush on. It got especially bad last night when I had a dream that I became BFFs with a girl I’m in a love triangle with (she hates me IRL, which makes me sad).
Am I secretly gay? Do I enjoy being cucked? Is this a sign that I’m an omega female? I watch a lot of magical girl anime where befriending = defeating a rival. Maybe that’s what brought on this mentality. Does anyone else relate?
I work non stop and my business is falling apart and if it does fall apart all of my other finances will fall apart and I'm still always broke and in some kind of debt.
I'm actually thinking about going to the casino and if it's all going to fall apart it should go in flames and if I get lucky then there it is. I'm going mad am I .
how to make female friends
all my life i had this "guy friends are better bc girls are stupid/shallow/etc" and now i dont know how to make or keep female friends or how to develop interests that most other women have. as a neet who is into male-dominated interests, what can i do to find more girl friends?
also, does anyone else who grew up with this mentality now feels alienated from the female gender? its a lonely experience.
I want a boyfriend but guys scare me.
Hi. I've only been in 1 relationship, and it didn't last very long at all. People tell me I am attractive so I'm not worried about my looks, but I feel like I always attract the wrong guys. If I do someday manage to attract a guy I click with, I'd be scared of getting more intimate with him. The idea of having sex sounds scary and having a guy love you that much seems too intense and overwhelming. How do I get over this weird fear and attract the right guy? My standards aren't ridiculous at all, I just want a considerate guy who won't demand sex from me.
I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year. Things have been going pretty good so far, I can't recall any significant fights that weren't caused by my emotional swings.
We both don't really know what we're doing, I'm his first girlfriend and he's my first serious boyfriend. I sometimes feel unhappy and unsatisfied with him, other times I feel as if I couldn't breathe if I wasn't with him. I've always been really insecure and sort of jealous, but I feel like it's really getting out of control: I truly can't stand the idea of him looking at others girls, finding them attractive (more attractive than me, I'm chubby and I have some obvious physical flaws). It all escalated when he told me he watched porn and I got really upset about it (even though I too consume adult content). I couldn't help but feel betrayed and I was about to break up with him, which in the end I didn't do because a part of me knew I was overreacting. We talked about it many times, and he tried to reassure me but it somehow felt insincere. I still worry about the same things. I feel like I'm going crazy, that I'm overreacting and I'm trying to ruin the only good thing that has happened to me in the past years.
I don't know what to do, I wish I could look at it more objectively instead of either blaming myself for everything or making him feel miserable and trying to dump him.
Help
I can’t tell if the reason why I stay with my boyfriend is cos I genuinely love him or if it’s cos i feel like I owe it to him cos he’s been so good and feel bad I’d hurt him so much If I leave him.
Basically what does it mean to be truly in love with someone?
Are cute guys as soft and good smelling as they look?
I can't remember anything I read or watch even if only 10 minutes have passed. Help?
Consider the following:
Youre a 40yo housewife (never thought of getting a degree or worked jobs higher than minimum wage, zero work experience for the last 15 years), mother of 3 (19yo boy, 14yo girl, 7yo boy), married for 19 yrs. You dont have any real friends, youre distanced from your family, your life was dedicated to the family you created and that, so far, sufficed.
Over the span of 5 years, the following happened:
- your youngest was diagnosed with autism
- your middle child attempted suicide after her friend raped her (still alive and healthy)
- a girl who claims to be your oldest's girlfriend shows up at your door saying she is pregnant
- you discover your husband has had affairs with almost every woman in his office through the last 12 years of your marriage, maybe longer
What is your course of action?
Honest question ladies. Would you fuck a sociopath if he was hot?
I’m being faced with this dilemma right now. This guy is super hot and his dick is huge and he’s been telling me all the stuff he wants to do, but he basically straight up admitted he is a huge player and completely incapable of love.
If we ever fuck it would only be a one time thing. I am a very emotional type and can see myself getting hurt. But at the same time I can’t find any other guys who are as hot as him.
Is it worth it?
my boyfriend's gaming addiction
>i sit on his lap
>he tells me to get up
>i don't
>he gets mad
>i ask him why isn't he giving me the attention i deserve
>he says maxing on old school runescape is better than real life and gives more pleasure than sex
>i start crying and ask him what's wrong with him
>he pushes me away and continues to play his stupid game
he has a real addiction and i don't know what to do about it.
i really need advice at this point. he won't stop.
I had a friend in highschool that told me that my other friends only liked me because of my drawings.
That is how i became friends with other kids, but how could anyone see that to be a bad thing?
how do i stop being so socially retarded?
How do you handle your depression?
Any ways to help cope?
I know everyone is different and have different reactions. I'd just like some ideas to try.
I feel a episode is coming. My therapist just praises me with how well I handle my depression compare to others but I still had sinking feeling in my heart. I have a job, I go outside to exercise. I try to eat healthy and drink water. I avoid sugars and starches. I stopped cutting and smashing things out of anger. I stopped depending on alcohol and weed to have a good time. I keep a sleep schedule. But I still can't bring myself to leave the bed when it's time to wake up until the very last minute. I wait until there's a pain in my stomach until I force myself to eat and sometimes there is no pain. I lost a very good friend and now I'm too scared to get close to my remaining few and I can't feel them drift farther away. As much as I want to I can't bring myself to message them, let alone my own family. I dread being awake. All I wanted in life was to be a painter and I can't even bring myself to do that and that hurts my soul. I just stare at my blank canvases and then crawl into bed. My therapist and father are both encouraging me to go back to school to finish my Cisco security certification, but I'm afraid of the stress of not being smart enough. My therapist is strongly encouraging medication and now I have the insurance to get it from my job but I'm afraid. I can't explain my fear. I'm afraid I'm not good enough for it, the fog will clear up and reveal that I was the one at fault all this time. I know I am my own worst enemy but I'm too scared to face me.
how do i get over the fact that men are the worst?
I've struggled with men all my life. My dad was an unreliant, non-child-support-paying alcoholic who cheated on my mother both while she had cancer and when she didn't. He also fetishizes ethnic people, hence my mother being middle eastern and his current wife being Colombian.
I've been in a majority of toxic relationships, one where I was emotionally abused and constantly threatened and had revenge porn posted of me, and another where he physically and emotionally abused me as well.
I'm currently in college and moved to a city, and I'm dating a man. I recently had to talk to him about the countless egirls he follows, and why (he said "cus theyre pretty") and he unfollowed them and said he "felt like shit that I was making you feel this way", that he would feel like shit if I did that, etc. He unfollowed them but I checked his follows again and he's still doing it. I just can't see how someone can say he loves me and the way i look when I don't look like any of these people he is actively seeking and following.
I feel like I'm crazy. Everywhere I go, I see men dating women 100x more attractive than them, then treating them like shit. I see men with gfs thirst following accts that post nudes. I see men cheating like it's NOTHING. Not only that, but I just literally can't trust men anymore. It's so fucking hard.
My boyfriend told me he feels like I'd be happier with someone who is not a man - like he can sense the fact that I'm disgusted by men and don't trust them. When I go out alone I deliberately cover up so men don't stare at me and I don't get attention from them. I know this is a problem everyone has to deal with but it's really taking a toll on me.
What should i do to cope with these feelings? I know I should seek therapy, and I'm going to see if I can afford that, but what else can I do? I'm so fucking miserable. I love my boyfriend but sometimes I think I should go full lesbian (I am already bi).
Imageboard toxicity
Idk pic related from a random dread felt a little too real to me
Browsing imageboards you realise that memes aside, there is a majority of users who will unreasonably attack people cause of gender/race/appearance/sex life etc
Most anons are 1488ers,~reee roasties~robots,nit-picky lo lc ow ''' farmers ''',self hating >I'm better than the other members of my minority - - or average guys who don't really care cause they aren't directly threatened
None of this I used to mind since ~~hehe how edgy heh I'm not a stacy hehe~~ but after I escaped my abusive situation and started improving my life I realized. Why lurk boards where every other post is either how to sabotage women or manipulate them pretending you're nice in order to use them(which worsens trust issues ) . I know I sound like a pussy sjw newfag but idk haven't you guys bacome less tolerable of others toxicity when you started taking control of your life?
p.s there are noic chans and i am no saint compared to salty anons, just screechin ignore oωο
I tried going on an “inclusive, nonviolent” incel forum but all of the posters were still psychos.
Why aren’t there online communities for people who are lonely but also aren’t /r9k/-tier fascists that hate women and minorities?
Anyone else have >the one that got away?
Gender doesn't matter of course.
Even after finding a boyfriend I could connect with and who loves me as much as I love him, I still can't stop thinking about >him from time to time. The lost potential and how we just drifted apart without any real closure.
That feel when i am a based and redpilled comic artist lady and i am not an attention whore anymore.
I usually post anonymously unless i feel like putting out my dumb comics.
Good day.
Alcohol abuse
Anybody else struggle with alcohol abuse? I've had some really awful messy nights out at clubs or parties and drank a ton by myself, I'm really embarrassed by a lot of the things I've done.The worst thing I've realized is that it hurts the people I love and that some people avoid me because of it. I'm going to make an effort to put an end to this but I have so much regret and shame from things that have already happened.
being sad for no reason at all
I think I'm falling ito some kind of depression.
I'm on my path of being really succesfull at my job, I'm studying something that I love deeply, making money, having a great boyfriend for multiple years. And for some fucking reason, I just realised few days ago that I havent felt happy in a long, long time. Can't even remember how long, maybe 12 months or even longer. I can't push myself to feel anything other than frustration about the smallest of things and because of that I'm unable to resolve some bigger problems. I feel fucking bored all the time because my fucking sadness is so constant. I'm fakin around everybody at this point, and can't see the point of me doing ANYTHING which could give me hope or some kind of light at the end of the tunnel.Like, I don't care about anything that much nowdays. I don't mind doing things, but I'm like whatever. I used to be really energetic person, go-getter, life of the party.
I'm just existing now.
Can you gals give me any advice? Maybe some of you are feeling the same way? Pls.
Also, sorry for my horrible english.
>"I like him but he's never gonna like me"
You sure about that?
Fear of men
Anyone else have this problem?
I get really nervous talking to any man, I have a hard time looking them in the eyes or keeping a conversation with them. I fear their physical strength and feel they don't even see me as fully human.
I think I am like this because I don't really have any positive male figures in my life and that I have browsed male-dominated spaces on the internet for the majority of my life.
How do I find an ugly bf? I am facially disgusting with a crooked nose and such. Any tips? I don't want random sex, I want a bf who will love me & enjoy life together and any pretty person who'd want something to do with me would surely just want sex/use me in some way. Pretty people aren't even aware of ugliness, usually just think ugly=bad, too.
I exercise and have a part-time job, but people are way too normal/boring, and obviously I don't get hit at.
Miners where did you find boyfriends, in what circumstances? I am in early twenties if that helps.
And no, I am not going to try online dating. It's just judging people by pictures(especially if you look at the science about it) which is the opposite of what I want.
So,I'm genuinely in love with this guy, he's my first love. I'm literally hopeless I seriously need some help.
That dude was always taking care of me, even cooking for me when my mom just didn't care, he was always there for me, teasing me and we were having a lot of fun. We were never alone together we were just part of the same group and I was acting super awkward around him since the start.
We were 3 friends, I liked A, I told B, B told A that I liked him from the start and was badmouthing me cause B liked me. So, I was experiencing this bitter af love triangle. Basically, one day when I was fighting with B, B told A that I'm always talking about A and he's tired of me about that. This happened when I was on a trip and when I returned and I was out with B and some friends A texted me that he wanted to talk. Long story short, B trapped me into confessing to A. So me and B went to his house, talked about B's behavior (He was lowkey obsessed with me and A wanted us all to talk about it and find a solution) and after that I was alone with A to confess to him. He basically said that it's not a no because of my looks or my personality he just thought that it wouldn't work out. (We have a 6 year age gap and well..I was underaged that the time, so that might me the case) and he showed his bed and said that he just can't think of us 2 being like that. This happened back in march. We started talking less ofc but we still talk from time to time and I asked him if he wants to like hang out and he accepted which is pretty good cause I can't get him out of my mind. I'm genuinely in love with him and I tried everything to get over it. Also, I'm super confused he sometimes shows that he cares and sometimes like he doesn't care about my existence at all. I had made a tinder for fun a few days ago, found him and for fun did a super like on him and (a friend told me) that he noticed it but chose to ignore it.
I'm crying every single night, I love him so much and idk I'm never posting on advice online but I'm desperate.
I made literally no friends at uni. Kept getting stuck at the acquaintance phase. I also gained 20 lbs.
I am so alone.
Anyone have this happen to them?
>be me
>fat socially awkward university student who probably has various mental disorders
>convinced I will never find bf
>finds super sweet guy online the lives overseas
>he comes and visits me
>goes well (almost too well)
>he's a 10, treats me well, great in bed, etc
>has to go home
>we promise to visit each other again
>mfw we probably won't
It's been a week since he's left and I'm already starting to get depressed. He has his own life in his country and I have no way to emigrate to his so I think we all know how this one is gonna end. Should I break things off to protect my own feelings or wait until he does?
okay so i wanted to be mean to some people because im frustrated as fuck but now that i did the mean thing i feel bad about myself, why am i such a retard?
I want to play dungeons and dragons but I have no friends
i've been going through such a lonely terrible time recently.
i used to be a frequent tfw no bf and depressedposter here, but i finally got a perfect boyfriend who was nothing but supportive and cleared up all the loneliness in my life. he was an imageboard browser with my same interests and struggles who was perfect for me.
a few days after my birthday he got psych warded involuntarily over a miscommunication/internet shitposting and i don't think he'll be out for another half a month and i've been so so so so sad and lonely and filled with dread about how lonely i know he is too, we really relied on eachother and now we're both alone. our mutual friends are very worried too but nobody is worried as i was and one of them accused me of being selfish over it even though it's not since i'm worried about him - he does not have the issues to warrant this.
on top of this my anorexia has been getting worse and i've been dropping weight quite a bit (at 98 pounds right now but continuing to lose) and i've been dreading an involuntary hospitalization myself and i know hes gonna be very worried when he notices once hes back and since he wont have seen me in 3 weeks he'll surely notice.
how do i hope? i've never hurt so bad, i miss him
Why can't I seem to connect with people, even my closest friends?
Help this autisitc cunt, please
So… I was always socially autistic and didn't know how to talk to people. Literally no one ever approached me I always needed to do it. I don't know if it's because of my apperance or mannerisms but nobody ever gave a fuck about me. Until this guy shows up in my messages when people from a group chat talk to me for 3 years and kick me out for doing something stupidily irrelavant. This guy was also in this chat. I liked talking to him he was the first person to ever approach me in some way. We talk everyday for like 5 years. I never saw his face, he never saw mine. We never talked in a different way than chatting on the internet. Well, at some point he showed me that he was interested in interacting with me in a different way than writing messages. But it was like 2 years ago. Now he just doesn't give a shit to be honest. While I'm starting to feel worthless because I'm scared that he is starting to lose interest in me. I don't have anyone to talk to besides him. I tried to talk to people but it just doesn't work out. Irl it's just a nightmare. I'm so fucking scared that I'm falling in love with him somehow. I never even saw him irl but it just feels like I'm becoming more depressed every day because I feel like he doesn't care and I do. This loneliness hurts so much. Talking with him is starting to hurt me.
I was wondering if someone could give their insights into my situation. 3 months ago I added a guy from a thread. I wasnt expecting anything and it was supposed to be a language exchange thing, but we immediately had really good flowing conversation, and we started talking almost everyday. It turned out this guy was super hot and somehow, I was also his type. Before you ask, this was before he knew what I looked like, and its because we were talking about our types. I asked him what kind of girls he is into and he sent me some pictures. It was weird because a lot of these girls looked similar to me (hotter ofc, but same hair color/eye color/general look etc).
We started voice and videocalling and we would flirt a lot. Honestly I wasnt expecting anything to come of it, this guy is way out of my league, but for some reason he liked me. Then I found out he only lives around 250 miles away from me. It all seemed to be falling into place effortlessly.
The conversations starting turning sexual and we would lewd a lot, send pics etc. We had really similar kinks and tastes in almost everything, not just sex.
So then we started talking about meeting up. He offered to come to my town by train. Basically we were going to go on a date or two and if everything went well, we would probably end up fucking.
I started worrying he was only seeing me as a bootycall or fuckbuddy, but when I asked him, he said he was happy to call me his girlfriend, with the understanding that we would be meeting up irl soon. He told me early on that he has never done LDR before and he needs sex and a lot of physical contact, and distance is painful for him, so we needed to meet ASAP. I really wanted to meet him ASAP too.
He went on vacation for a month and we were supposed to be meeting when he came back. Anyway a couple days before he got back, I got the news that I need surgery on my throat. That means another 2-3 months of waiting to meet. Bear in mind its been 3 months already, and that would mean it was 6 months before we can realistically meet. Also we only live 250 miles apart. He kept pressing as to why and I explained that I get tonsillitis quite frequently and I need to have a tonsillectomy as well as vocal cord surgery. (I actually really regret telling him I get tonsillitis a lot because it makes me sound kind of gross but he kept pressing as to why I needed surgery)
I was dreading telling him this news. As soon as I told him, he told me he couldnt handle waiting any longer. I guess he was mad and upset that our plans had been cancelled. I cried a lot and asked him if this was the end of things. He said no, and that we could meet up when I had recovered. That gave me some hope that we will eventually meet, but the thing I regret most is telling him about my throat issues. A lot of the time we would talk about kissing, oral, etc. Wouldnt knowing I have thrust issues put him off? I wont have tonsillitis anymore after the surgery, but I am still worried it gave him an unappealing image of me. At the sane time it isnt something I have control over. Am I worrying about that too much?
Anyway right now I am trying to adjust to not speaking to him. Its been a few days and we havent talked. I am used to talking to him everyday often for hours. I am upset because I waited a month for him to get back from vacation, and he doesnt want to wait for me. It seems almost like as soon as he realized his physical needs couldnt be met ASAP, he dropped me. But at the same time, he did tell me earlier that LDRs are painful and we would need to see each other on a frequent basis irl for things to work. Which I agree with. He says he still really likes me and he hopes we can meet up eventually. But he said having to communicate through text or chat is weird and he hates feeling like he is in a relationship with a computer. He said we can still be friends and I can message him when I want, and to let him know when I have recovered so we can set a date to actually meet up. But I have too much pride to go running after someone who has essentially just dumped me until further notice.
I have a sinking feeling about the whole thing. Everything was going so great before, now it feels awkward and distant.
Usually I would say it sounds like he just wanted to get laid, but its been 3 months of incessant calls, texts and FaceTiming. I think he was serious about me. I think he was genuinely upset and disappointed. Maybe he even felt like I was making up an excuse not to see him. I am just wondering what the fuck I should do now. I have been going to the gym, losing weight and getting my makeup more on point. So should I just continue working on myself?
Sorry if this is long but ive literally never met someone who seemed so perfect for me, that I am so attracted to, that I got along with so well so fast, and that I felt so strongly about. I dont want to lose him or be away from him any longer than I have to be.
how to move on from sexual abuse
I've been searching google for women who feel similarly to me on this, but I've found nothing (if anything, Google spits out the opposite of what I'm trying to search for). I feel like if a guy were to lead or act dominant in any way during sex, it'd cause me to freak out and shut down. I can see myself acquiescing and then shutting down emotionally afterward, but that's it. I was sexually abused as a child for years and then got out of an abusive relationship (sexually abusive) that lasted around 3-4 years. I feel like sex reminds me I'm female and that triggers this self-loathing within myself that I don't usually feel on the regular because I have internalized misogyny from growing up in a very pro-masculine family. Though I've tried to work through it, it still crops up when I fantasize about sex. I feel like sex will inherently demean me in part because I'm a woman so I'm always going to be submissive during sex, even if I were trying to lead.
I recently got into a relationship with a person who knows about my past. He's told me he doesn't want to pressure me at all and that he is comfortable letting me decide, that he wants to be part of helping me get healthy in this way. Although I am grateful, I feel disgusting at the thought of us actually having sex because I feel like even if I initiate, because he is male, he is going to start becoming dominant which repulses me, even though I don't think being dominant in of itself is a negative.
I used to try to initiate sex in my other relationships, but I'd usually get turned down. Sex only would normally occur if the guy decided it would happen. I hate myself because I have a high libido, and it seems all my partners have either had low libidos in comparison, or they purposely withheld sex from me. At the same time, though I personally just see sex as a biological drive, I hate actually having it because the guy would always make it this sappy ordeal at the end, and I'd always feel like I was in the end just caring about how the guy felt. I feel like if my current SO were to know how sex is with me, they'd find me disgusting.
Have any of you anons who've had rocky sexual pasts been able to recover? How did you do it? Any help is appreciated.
Tips on how to be more feminine?
I feel like I'm not feminine enough. I swear I try hard AF by dressing well and wearing pretty makeup and perfume and taking care of myself but I always look like a solb :(
I also wish I were more delicate in my moves and behaviours, but it doesn't matter how hard I try, I always end up benig tomboyish
Does anyone else have this problem?
How did you solve it?
Any general tips on how to be more feminine?
Any other Catholic Christians here?
Didn't know where else to put this so here it goes
Post anything pertaining to christianity
I lived with my mom for most of my life and she would never let me got to church because she was an almost militant atheist.
I would always sneak out of home on sundays to go to sunday school where i met my fiance
Anyone else have any other stories? I'd love to hear.
I haven’t cuddled with someone for five years.
I wish I had an older brother. Someone who was there to protect me when I got bullied or hurt, someone who was a mentor who looked out for me, someone to confide in who was close to my age.
dating
I have 20 years old and i'm going to have my first date, but i have social anxiety and I'm really afraid of it. Miners help me, any tips how I need to act? I dont know how to kiss and i'm worried about not having something to talk and boring him.
Why should I have to improve myself to find a loving partner to do fun stuff with? People uglier, dumber or lamer than me have fulfilling long-term romantic relationships all the time.
my problems do not exist i have just created them in my head
my problems do not exist i have just created them in my head
my problems do not exist i have just created them in my head
my problems do not exist i have just created them in my head
my problems do not exist i have just created them in my head
How can i make myself believe this ? It hurts way less when you think that all of your issues are fake. I want to stop being so tied down to the real world. I dont want to live in such a reality. How can i escape all of this ?
how can i get over my ex who cheated on me? we're still talking and he's always on my mind.
share a happy childhood memory
go~~
Tfw spill spaghetti even when being catcalled/complimented
I mainly hate being catcalled simply because I don't know wtf to say. Like, I usually just say thank you and get embarrassed and walk off. When they try to say something witty i don't respond with what they're expecting and it ruins the moment.
Earlier today a truck driver catcalled me but I didn't realize it till I passed him and then it made me feel guilty because he probably thought I straight-up rudely ignored him AAAAGH who else knows this /feel/?
So I was talking to my shutin gamer brother about life recently and he said he doesn’t have platonic friendships with women because this would risk his being exploited for emotional labor. Of course he didn’t say it like this: rather, he said something about not wanting to be a “cuck” and “friendzoned”, which he obviously heard from some incel/PUA dipshit online.
How common is this? Do men realize they are stunting themselves emotionally and actively harming their social life by taking such poor advice?
What kind of stuff would you do with a bf/gf if you were to meet someone?
I think it would be nice to play board games, go birdwatching, and watch soviet films.
I have been doing late night walks in hope of bumping into some reclusive boy with social anxiety. I am putting myself at risk of getting mugged/raped for a chance at love. Have I gone insane miners? also does anyone do late night walks? I might do it regularly, something about it is really comfy.
What does the sensation of a guy getting a boner from you feel like? As a kissless virgin approaching my 30s, I don’t know.
I wonder if it’s even possible for a guy to get hard from me. Since it’s never happened yet, I don’t know.
Many women talk about how men only want to use them for sex, but all I want right now is the basic physiological acknowledgement that I’m attractive enough to fuck, that I meet the baseline to be considered sexually attractive. But I’ve never been called sexy, never beautiful, not even pretty - always “smart” or “nice”, and it depresses me more than anything else.
Do antipsychotics or even SSRIs make you more clingy? I've felt more clingy in a negative way with my bf ever since i'm on them. Emotionally numb too. Any experiences?
[health] I think I might have vaginismus
How do I know for certain?
I tried to put in a tampon for maybe the tenth time this weekend when I went to the beach and I literally couldn’t. It burned and was just extremely painful the whole time. I’ve never had sex but I was molested as a kid. What do I even do? Will sex be really bad forever? I kind of find it hot because I am a masochist mentally but I am worried that it might be really bad for my husband in the future if I am really scared and hate sex because it hurts so bad every time
Make a Wish
What do you wish for, Miners?
What(in the realm of possibility) would make your life nicer right now? Money? A job? A lover? Nice skin?
How you guys deal with self esteem?
Seriously i have no self esteem, i look like a monster, im so gross.
I wished to look like Milena d sunna, an actress porn. Seriously i cant watch her video porn but she is so perfect and everyone love her.i wanted everyone loved me
Why im not atractive? Why im not like her? Im totally opposite, i want her skin…
I hate this feeling, this hurt so much.
What is emotional abuse? Is it different from just being an asshole?
My conception of emotional abuse is that it’s when someone threatens suicide if their partner leaves, or tries to isolate their partner from other people, constantly berates and insults their partner, etc. Stuff like that. But I’m curious as to what other people define as emotional abuse.
The only girl in the group
I am struggling to cope with no longer being 'the only girl in the group'
This is a bit of a complex one so bare with me. I am not that old, but i'm probably still a little bit older than a lot of the girls here. For a very long time, I was used to having almost all male friends. When I was in my teens it was still not very common for girls to like certain types of "less casual" video games (girls always have of course but it's more popular now than it was before, play tabletop rpgs (this was before the recent mass uptake and acceptance of D&D)or card games such as Magic the Gathering. I have spent a long time with each of these hobbies, attending clubs, events and competitions. Naturally for a long time all of my friends were boys. I was also fairly handy with computers and code and I never had very many common interests with normie girls. I never outwardly hated them or bragged about being Not Like Other Girls, but I did get bullied a lot by them in school and I essentially kept my distance.
When I got to college I joined the tabletop and tcg club, and out of about 60-100 members i was probably one of 5 girls. I never put myself in these situations to feel special or for male attention, but I got used to being treated a certain way (people would know my name and remember, people would want to talk to me, for instance or be nice and ask how i was going).
I'm not ugly. I'm no stacy either. I'd say I was about becky tier, maybe a bit uglier than that, but I was always able to make myself look better with makeup. Basically, right when it was popular i was rockin' the internet soft scene late 2000s nerd girl boxxy eyeliner that everyone was mad for at the time. People liked me well enough.
I still have mostly male friends, even if we see each other less now because of adult life. We still meet to play games (video and tabletop). However, recently we've grown more distant, as they've made two new female friends and bought them into the fold to play games with us.
At first i was happy about this because I really thought it would be a good opportunity to meet more women with similar interests, but really quickly I realized it wasn't going to work out like that.
The new girls don't really care about being my friend or getting to know me, they're mostly there for the boys. This would be fine, but the boys seem to have less and less time for me or interest in me these days. They dote on their new female friends like crazy(note: many of these people have love lives outside this group and no one is actively trying to date these girls)and barely even acknowledge that I am a person despite how long we have known each other (over a decade.
The girls are pretty new to most of the hobbies and games we participate in. I'm glad that they feel more welcome to join, but it means they need a lot of attention from the boys. Somewhere along the way my friends have become so obsessed with these women that they often don't even invite me out to play games anymore. I'm losing all my friends and I didn't do anything wrong, I've always been nice and friendly.
Part of me is very sad because I've come to realize my friends never really saw me as a person. Just a 'girl' that could be replaced by any other cuter girl who came along. I'm mad at myself for fooling myself into thinking they could like me for who i was as a person. I know i'm too old to be upset by this and I should just move on, but today they went out without me again and I feel so sad for investing so much emotional energy into friendships with men that just didn't matter to them at all. I feel so alone and stupid. Please help me.
No one will ever love me because my body sucks and I am too anxious and inhibited to put myself out there.
Rate and subscribe
i have never experienced actual love that is two sided, whenever i have a crush on someone its either me trying to convince myself that i like someone because im desperate or it lasts for a few days or maybe a week. the only time ive experienced intense feelings of love for longer than a few weeks it was extremely one sided love on someone online who didnt even know i existed. i want to feel strong two sided love so badly, i want to know what it feels like to like someone who likes you back. im pretty young so i guess this is somewhat normal but idk what to do lole
Why do some men never buy gifts?
This genuinely confuses me. It's a common issue among male partners. Often the man will insist he can't afford a gift or doesnt know what his partner wants… But isn't it common knowledge that all a woman wants is to know her boyfriend cares enough to put effort in? Personally I'd settle for a pack of my favorite gum.
bad dads
Does anyone else have issues with their father?
>tfw no cosplaying gf/bf
I want to be with the cute boys/girls is that so hard to ask.
i dont know if anyone can relate to this, but i feel like i could probably get a bf if i tried enough but i wouldnt be able to feel much romantic attraction towards the other person, i feel like i dont feel as much romantic attraction as most people do
Tw: rape
.
.
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I need help. I have been raped 4 times in the past 5 years by 4 different guys, and after the most recent one I am afraid that it will happen again.
The first 3 happened in rapid succession and it totally ruined my life for a year. I went through a shit ton of therapy and I am emotionally and mentally fine now, but a week ago it happened again. I had thought “oh I was naive and had low self consciousness, but now i’m more independent and confident so it won’t happen again” but clearly that isn’t the case.
I’ve never spoken about it publicly IRL and don’t plan to.
I need real advice. There are a lot of shitty people and clearly I am not doing enough to defend myself. I need to learn some concrete things that I can do to stop this from happening or some self defense suggestions.
I can give more specifics about the situations if it would help. I don’t mind talking about it at all now thankfully.
I have to live with mother in law for a while. I hate her so damn much. To the point of throwing up from anger. Never live with in-laws. Trust me.
For a long time I thought once I met someone all of my problems with self-love and self-image would go away. Then I had a brief relationship a while ago and quickly realized that my fear of abandonment, paranoia, jealousy, insecurity, etc. only got worse during this time.
Did this happen to anyone else here?
LDR Experiences?
How did they go for you guys, if you had them?
Mine is currently okay, but I'm afraid the distance will do us in eventually. When we argue, the argument always revolves around the distance or things to do with the distance.
How to find yourself?
I'm nearly 24 and still have no idea who I am or what I want.
I keep jumping from one interest to another. One week I like kpop, next week I listen to jrock and another week later I only like classical music.
Around a month ago I bought my first lolita Dress (which I think of selling now). Then I started following a youtuber and spontaneously decided to get tan and try instagram makeup. Some while later I got into korean skin care and now I try to stay pale again. I'm tall so my mother says elegant clothes would suit me well, but often I think I would prefer girly clothes. Or sporty ones. Sometimes I'm content with being dresses up in all black, sometimes I want to try wearing pink. Straight or wavy hair? Same for my body type, I cannot decided whether I want to be as skinny and flat as possible or athletic. Sometimes my mind changes within just one day.
I know that a major reason for this is because I don't have friends and simply want to belong. As a lolita you could go to meets, kpop idols fake being besties with their group members, instathots are loved by everybody and post pics of travelling with friends, and so on. I'm attracted to anything that involves girls hanging out with other girls.
How do I stop that jumpyness? I even kind of (try to ) change the they I behave depending on what I'm into atm. Most people have figured themselves out way earlier. I finally want to settle for one thing, I want to be able to buy stuff without regretting it a short while later, I want to feel comfortable with how I style and present myself. I want to fit in, but I also can't help but dislike the way most normal girls dress, same goes for the music etc they like.
I also have a really big problem with romanticizing the past, like wanting to go back to stuff I liked during times I actually felt like shit.
I constantly feel the urge to throw everything away, to start anew.
When I was in my last year of high school I seriously thought of quitting because of the manga Paradise Kiss. I thought, that's it! I will become a model too! Even nowadays I still dream about becoming famous as a model or actress, instead of focusing on graduating. I really could just daydream 24/7.
vent thread
the other one has reached full capacity.
>>>/feels/21617
i hope those wings were good, anon.
I have always wanted to get married
Don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon. And of course my classmates are fucking getting married.
:(
It's been a couple months and I'm starting to realize I'm with the wrong one. I'm really disappointed as I fell in love with him and he was so sweet and cool at first, but he's turned into such a dick.
He never listens to me. I'm lucky if I even get a grunt or a 'yeah' out of him when I'm talking to him. He's always multitasking. When we're on the phone or facetiming he's barely looking up at me and is just watching something on youtube the whole time. All he does is play vidya and watch anime/youtube videos all day until 4am. Anything else he deems to be 'dumb' and 'normie'.
The other thing is he's addicted to porn. More specifically, hentai. He watches it every single day, considers it an 'art form', he even wanted to play it while we were having sex. I told him I didn't really feel like being cucked by 2D that day. He can't seem to get it up for me unless he's watched a harem of pink haired loli cat girls being gangbanged onscreen beforehand. He also recently revealed to me he's big into incest play. I get people have kinks but to be honest it creeps me the fuck out. The other thing that annoys me is he rubs his kinks in my face constantly and wants me to do all kinds of weird shit, but doesn't want to try any of my kinks! He's so boring in every way sexually. The other day he told me I should think about getting implants. I guess so I can resemble one of his hentai mommies. We were at the store the other day and this thicc (pretty fat) Latina woman with really wide hips walked by. He turned around to me and said 'Her thighs must looking fucking disgusting. If you got to that size I'd leave you.' At the same time, he points out attractive women all the time. I thought that was dumb, rude and unnecessary. He just doesn't seem to have empathy or care about my feelings.
Last time I sent him a selfie, he laughed at it and said my expression looked dumb, which hurt my feelings.
When I told him that was kinda rude he freaked out and said I was being too sensitive.
I should have noticed the red flags. When we first started dating I asked him what his type was. I expected him to say some celebrity or e-thot.
Instead he goes 'my ex'. Nice. He brought her up again the other day. I told him I felt like our relationship wasn't working well. He said the reason him and his ex's relationship worked was because she 'had a better sense of humor than you do and she was better at conversation'. Bitch did I ask? Also last time I tried to joke with him he thought I was insulting him and sulked about it. So I ended up trying to compensate by being extra nice and massaging his ego, only to be told now I'm boring? Tf.
I feel like such a dumbass for getting into this position. When we first started dating he was really nice, funny, kind, generous. Now he's mean, humorless, stingy as fuck and now to top it all off he doesn't think I'm good enough for him? He's jobless and to be honest pretty average looking, I know he's only 22 but he feels significantly more immature, I feel like I'm dating an overgrown teenager.
I would leave him if I hadn't fallen so hard for him at beginning. If I could turn those emotions I feel towards him off like a tap it would be ideal, but I can't. I don't know what to do.
Are there women in their 30s/late 20s browsing this board?
I'm younger but I'd like to ask a few questions.
>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?
>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?
>What are the advantages of being at this age?
>How do people treat you?
Every friend I’ve lost
Every friend I’ve had has turned out to be a scumbag and either left me or I felt forced to leave them. There’s only ever been one exception and she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore because I hurt her and she doesn’t believe she can have friends anymore… I feel like I’m heading that way too. Why is everyone in the world so awful? Do I just need to find a guy to settle down with and stop trying to have friends? I just want to find that one person I can call sister/brother and love forever without dissonance
I have all the makings of a totally nice, normal life; I'm a model student, fit, pretty enough, funny, I have hobbies and talents, I can make small talk with most people. But I have no connections. There's something that keeps me from feeling like people know me/see me for me. I have no friends of my own. People are nice to me, but I can't connect with anyone beyond basic-bitch jokes and dry small talk. I have so much more I want to talk about and hear about from people. It's the loneliest feeling and I have no idea how to change it. I just want to really know other people, to open up to each other and be weirdos and laugh together without worrying about appearances. I'm so afraid of missing out on genuine connection and friendship; I'm only 20, but I haven't had a close friend since I was 13. What do I do?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm starting to fall in love with a really pretty girl. She literally looks like a model. We went to the same high school and I've always liked her ideas and how she looked. She looks even prettier now. We started to talk again. We are both 19. She's definitely into boys but I'm not sure if she likes girls. And I really hope she does. I called her pretty the other day and she said I'm prettier which made me feel so happy for the rest of the day and I couldn't stop thinking about it! I got butterflies in my belly and felt silly. I wanna do so many things with her, I wish I could just tell her but it's hard! What if she's straight? What if I told her my feelings and she blocked me? I feel like she wouldn't be as close to me. How do I even let her know I like her?! She's too beautiful for this world and gets hurt easily, I wanna be there for her and help her. I could write poems here about how much I adore her, but what would it do? It wouldn't matter because she won't be reading it. Please give me some advice. Is it possible to make her like me even if she's straight? Maybe she might want to try it.
Ugly vag
Guise i think i have a really ugly vagina does that matter?? It doesn't smell but looks like one of those nasty 'beef sandwiches' guys talk about
Have you ever gotten anything out of talking to a therapist?
I tried it twice, first with a woman and then a man therapist. It didn’t really work for me. I was too nervous to share certain facets of my psyche and I also found it difficult to retrieve relevant info about my life circumstances and specific problems while I was sitting in the therapist’s office.
Why exist box?
Why guys are so violent and trying to destroys themselves?
>Be me
>have a younger brother
>brother be a boxer
>i never see a boxing fight irl
>he invite me and my friend to see his fight (just to impress her).
>whynot.png
>Go and see the fight with my friend and family
>finnish the fight
>My brother looked like a balloon at the end
>he even't win the fight
>that night i confront my brother
>"do you want to die?"
>"where is the fun?"
>my brother just tell me that women likes fighters and he wants to improves himself.
why? that fight was so crude, even me and my friend just wants to go from that fight.
4chan(nel) ban
So fuck those mods over there. I posted about how women are superior to men and gave countless reasons why, including
1. We are ruled more by love than lust.
2. Men have throughout time beat us, raped up, kept us from being educated but we still overcame it all and contributed to the world. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_inventions_and_discoveries_by_women
3. The world has been primarily ruled by men and look how that turned out for us. Look at the condition of the earth, greed, treatment of animals etc
4. Men have killed millions, if not billions of human beings throughout time yet women are blamed for everything shitty out there?
5. My views aren't about the wage gap (the one point those assholes harp on over and over despite all the issues out there), my views are about places like 4chan that show how rampant misogyny is, it's just residing under the surface like racism, and how socially it screws both men and women over.
6. 4chan is the most censored site I've honestly been too. I've been banned numerous time for expressing views that aren't the norm. What a bunch of weak mods running that place.
Thanks for letting me vent.
>be me
>otaku
>single
>find an otaku website called mo for dating
>find a cute 8/10 single guy
>he gives me a welcome
>he said hi and didn't ask for nudes first
>fast forward 3 weeks
>told him i liked him
>he rejects me in the best no harm way but doesn't block me
>keeps chatting with him as everything went normal
>orbiting a little bit and he talks to me about everything in his day
He is the first person who treats me like normal and maybe we can be a couple soon, there's still hope girls :')
Although I’m aware it’s maladaptive, sometimes I take pleasure in considering the misery of others. I believe it mints from bitterness regarding the circumstances of my own life: loneliness, isolation, despair, etc. For instance I may relish seeing someone I perceive as having a better life than myself suffer some misfortune.
Is this normal? Does anyone else do this?
asexuals in denial club
Anyone else an asexual in denial?
>have never felt sexual attraction to anyone or anything (don't even know what it would feel like)
>SO confused by what people mean when they say they fucked someone because they couldnt control themselves
>never get aroused
>have never had pleasurable sex
Now this wouldn't be a problem, but I still desire a relationship. Therefore it causes me constant despair because I have a boyfriend that I will never desire sexually. If i had one wish a functional fucking sex drive would be it, fuck world peace or money.
how do i know i'm even into guys?
actually how can i also know i'm into girls?
and how do i know i'm not scared of guys?
i'm a 20 years old student who's never had a bf nor has ever dated and i'm only friends with girls. one of my best friends since hs told me multiple times that she’s never seen me be into any guys, which is true, but I also haven't been 'into' any girls either.
i'm alright being around guys (classmates and members for group projects, coworkers, etc, etc.) but i've recently started to receive attention from guys (prob since it’s summer and i got my braces off, haha) which i realized i’m not really comfortable with. i’m a direct person so while complimenting girls and being complimented by girls feels like a sweet thing to do, i always think guys are expecting something else from you so i quickly stop myself from talking to them. i also really don't like the standard where girls are expecting guys to make the first move or to receive attention…maybe it’s because i’m very much on my own but it just sounds so pushy and clingy..i saw another anon saying that she was rly into a girl friend even if it might not be reciprocal and the way she wrote about her made my heart feel warm.
i used to like the idea of having a boyfriend, but with the ppl i’ve met irl so far, i'm not so sure abt that. i also like the idea of being with a girl, but i don’t know if it’s more than just platonically. i’m a noob about romantic emotions, so how do i know i don’t like or at least prefer girls for sure? the same best friend told me that everyone is a little bit gay, but that doesn’t help much haha.
and also are lesbians/bisexual girls uncommon? i’m in canada but i feel like i only hear about gay guys in my surroundings..
leeches
do any of you attract those people as much as i do??? how do you deal with it? and what are some traits a leech magnet has that don't seem too obvious? i wanna work on them and stop people from taking advantage of me.
i always seem to attract shitty people who take advantage of me and my kindness. i think it's because they sell themselves as nice people and i trust them too soon. i'm not someone who gets approached by people begging for their notes/homework, and i don't give out stuff easily, but somehow this type of person always ends up forcing their way into my life and they always take, take, take but never give. or they give me something small (like say the password for the online platform where the teacher uploads their slides, while i give them notes every single time they miss class). when i ask for something in return they either ignore it or they have already dropped me in favor of another person so i don't even get the chance to ask for something in return.
i hate how wimpy this sounds and it's not like it happens ALL the time, but i noticed that it has happened regularly over the past 10-12 years with different people and i'm starting to become wary of people and trying to make friends in college because i'm afraid everyone will turn out to be a leech again.
How do you /feel/ about this?
this is a bit of a silly question that could easily be googled, sure, but - how do you tell if a guy is 'interested' in you? even just vaguely interested. im clueless about friendship and romantic relationships and really want my first bf.
a guy grinned at me after approaching me with his friend once and he called me a gem after, i dunno if he was just being polite or if he maybe wanted to be my friend/was interested in me. today i introduced myself/told him to call me my real name instead of my nickname though, i just wanna get on the right track to getting a boyfriend
how to make a total normie boy into a nerd loser who just gets me?
I don't know what to do anymore
It's been a week since I've turned 18, I should be happy my adult life starts now and yet I doubt I'll survive the summer.
For the past few years I've been battling depression and suicidal thoughts but I'm not alone in all of this, there are friends that at least seem to care a bit about me but even when we are together I feel completely alone, I'm nearly always the one that starts our conversations.
My best friend, who knows what I've been through, is also the girl I love and there have been many things happening between us this year.
We are extremely close and we both had feelings for each other at different times.
I fear that she has noticed that I still love her and now she seems quite cold.
I've thought of quitting our friendship so many times but I could never do that for more than a month as one of us would go back to the other.
Without her I would be lost, we've been friends for nearly 8 years and the thought of a life without her is terrifying since I would also lose our common friends, more importantly she is the only person that has shown me love and made me feel truly happy.
However I know that we will never be more than best friends and even if we were it probably wouldn't last: I am really short and quite unattractive so she'd probably leave me for someone better as soon as she finds him.
I feel like I'm stuck between life and death and I don't think I have the strength to make it, she is all I have.
I kept the rope from my last attempt so I could use it once I made my decision.
I feel completely empty and maybe if she is now getting distant because of my fault then I could finally end it once and for all, even though I know she would still feel a bit sad about me dying.
crying cuddles thread
place to cry and get cuddled
How do you deal with being the one who cares more?
In a relationship I mean. I very much love this guy, and I know he loves me too. I also know I very likely care more than he does. I think if our relationship were to end today, I would be devastated beyond a bearable point. I give so much of myself, and it feels like he's holding back (which is fair and reasonable) a little bit of herself.
So what do I do? Am I supposed to pull back too? Am I supposed to continue giving myself away and accept that's the way it's going to be? Should I try to stop caring and break off when I feel nothing?
Thanks.
It's unfortunate that male extremists have irreversibly warped the term 'incel' into an identity of rage and misogyny. My understanding is that in the 90s it just referred to a support group for lonely people, which actually sounds kind of useful. Eventually it became ISIS for male virgins due to lack of moderation on the web forum LoveShy, apparently.
I met a guy recently and I guess we're dating now. He's really cute and kind but I've only known him for a little over a week and I think things are going way too fast. We've been hanging out all week, it's always initiated by him. He's introduced me to part of his family already. He's also giving me a lot of big gifts like a midi keyboard, expensive headphones, and new shoes because his dog chewed mine up. It's all very sweet but at the same time it gives me a weird feeling because we just met recently and now I feel sort of obligated to him and like things are exclusive. I just got out of a 5 year relationship a couple months ago and I don't know if I'm ready for a serious relationship, especially in this short amount of time. I feel like it's too late to slow things down and if I cut things off I'll seem like an asshole.
putting the i in ignored
i'm worthless & i create my problems.
yesterday my nurse said i'm unreasonable & hurting her head, so she's disengaging from our conversation. i emptied my small trashcan of sink-water across the main desk of our unit & announced i'll cut my wrists if they don't find a razor within my clothes. "i'll kill myself to make all of you feel better" and "you all dislike me and want me dead"
i cried a bit. i wanted attention.
somebody said i'll live my entire life in these facilities,
an old lady in a wheelchair said i 'm psychotic and sick. i let her know that she'd die if nobody at the hospital had to take care of her:she'll die alone. projecting lol
i got a tss removed from the unit by saying he's raping/touching me.
nurses think i'm manipulative and a liar, i only blame others for my problems.i think my mother didn't give me enough attention as a child. others grow tired of me so i'm jumping to new ppl.
i'm afraid of being ignored and alone.
life stinks, so this repeats, a lot.
helpp idk how to pull together & stop hurting my relationships.
What do you do to cope?
In a world of stress and sorrow, with only glimmers of Hope and joy, what is it that drives you? What makes you feel right, and whole? Me personally, I've been pouring my soul into D&D and podcasts for it. Other than that, I spend a lot of time laying around thinking.
Old thread >>>/feels/18315 is at cap.
Gather here, O heartbroken, angry, or happy ones.
Women in the office
anyone else ever been bullied by their female boss? I worked in a mostly female team and there was a lot of nastiness, especially from the older, more senior women. I hate my office job because of this. Just thinking this will be life for another few decades makes me want to kms. Then I got to work with a few men on a project - life was much easier, no cuntiness, no drama, no bullies, the men worked well in a team and got the job done. Why can't women work this way?
How do you girls enjoy shit like hugs, cuddles, kisses and sex? Even thinking about it makes me want to vomit, and any time a guy initiates any kind of intimacy with me I begin disliking him for it.
I've turned down at least two guys this past month because I can't imagine a relationship with the knowledge that I have to voluntarily do all of that or else he'll feel upset and I'll be the bad one in the relationship.
sad and broke in a foreign country
>be in Switzerland since my only familly is here
>have to learn german cause is hard to get a job without it hre
>after that an apprenticeship for three years which naturally pays bellow minimum
>have obsessive thoughts and cry myself to sleep cause im ugly caus of my nose whic i hate
>cant afford any cope surgeries
>cant stop caring about my appearance feels like defeat to me.
>cant afford professional help
>hav to wait for years plus
i guess im gonna have to keep grindin my german , will a year by sorta enough ?
addict/alcoholic loved ones
my dad is in the hospital again for issues with his chronic alcoholism and withdrawal symptoms (he sleeps a long time and goes into withdrawal). he was in the hospital for the same thing about 2 months ago and was in total denial and wouldn't go to rehab. He thinks he had to go to the hospital because he wasn't eating/sleeping enough. What the fuck. For a really smart guy, he is totally blind about this stuff. I am so sad and angry. I think he will probably die soon and to be honest I sort of want him to get it over with. He's useless and I know he won't get any better without a major wake-up. He's been drinking and smoking since he was 14 years old (60 now…) and I don't have any hope of him stopping. I hate him.
Can you relate? I don't know who to talk to.
How do I stop feeling inferior because I'm not Asian?
Is there a way to cure your yellow fever? Knowing I will never be this cute, short, skinny and young-looking honestly kills me.
Does anybody else feel that way too?
Crush on a guy who'll probably never realise I exist
So, in short I'm pretty attracted to this one guy I know. It'll likely never turn out because all the other girls in our friend group are short Stacies whose eyes glaze halfway through a conversation.
I don't dislike their company persay, but I just feel alienated some times. I just wish I had a chance with him yknow?
filtered thoughts
what are you thinking about right now that you wish you could say out loud, but can't because it'd be innappropriate, hurt someone's feelings, or cause some other kind of trouble?
i'm in a nutritional science class right now, where we're giving presentations on unhealthy foods we chose and how we'd change the recipe to make them healthier. this really dumb guy made his presentation on pizza and he's talking about how he made his recipe "gluten free" to be healthier even though my professor has said several times throughout this term that gluten is not bad for you unless you have celiac disease. it doesn't help his case that he talks in a slow monotone voice and has this glassy-eyed deadpan look on his face.
What are your first names? Do you think you have a cool/beautiful name? Do any of you have femcel names that hurt your confidence like Agnes, Larkin, Prudence, Helga, Gertrude, Mildred, Bertha, etc.
I'm falling for a gay guy.
I'll spare the details of our relationship. Aside from being gay, he is absolutely perfect to me.
He is a friendless, virgin neet who hasn't had meaningful, non-familial social contact in years. For the past few months, we've been speaking for hours and hours every day.
He says he likes me a lot, and has even said he loves me. I know it must be in a platonic way, but it made me crazy anyways. Every nice thing he says makes me crazy.
But I know he will never be attracted to me. He has admitted he cannot find women attractive, even though he's tried. Even if he does like me, it will never be in the same way I like him.
How should I continue? I don't know. He doesn't even know how I feel. I'm afraid of ruining what we have already. I'm afraid of my own feelings.
I think I found the man of my dreams. He and I are very similar, both robots, and he feels the same way about me. We met on a discord server, and from the beginning I kept thinking about how he and I were perfect for each other. Recently we've been talking on the phone together and it's just really nice. The more I talk to him, the more I like him. I feel really good about this, and not in the head-over-heels infatuated way; more in that it just feels right. He's 10 years older than me and lives a few states away, but I think this could work. It feels natural. Do any of you have experience with a relationship like this?
>blocks me
>adds me six months later.
>surprised i'm still in love with him.
>has moved on and wants me to.
They always do move on.
Anyone here have to deal with sciatica pains or at least some kind of lower back ache?
Trying to manage mine without pills/surgery.
Already tried yoga, stretching, physical therapy, etc and the only thing that helps at the moment is weed, but I can't use that everytime it happens
tfw no bf #4
Old thread ran out of posts:
>>>/feels/14789
If you specifically desire a shy bf, this thread also exists now:
>>>/feels/17821
TFW NO CUTE SHY SLIGHTLY AWKWARD BF TO CUDDLE WITH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
any gay girls here?
what are some ways to get attention from someone you like (online)
i want her to talk to me but i can't think of interesting enough things
she does respond to me more than she used to but i wanna talk to her a lot but i feel like things i think of to say are too weak. what questions or things i can say?
I finally found people I could connect to yet I feel so excluded from everything. All I've wanted is to be a part of something, whatever it may be. Not to be an outsider.
Oh my fucking God it's been a week of binging hard I want to die really bad oh my god I am so fat oh my god this is a nightmare I want to die someone kill me
Vent Thread
Last one capped, >>>/feels/21617
Let us cry, whine and yell.
Mom just yelled at me for having low self esteem
It’s an abstract kind of feel
I honestly wish I had a male spare body in my closet that I can put on whenever I'm in the mood, and meet cute guys off of grindr to have hot gay sex like in my yaoi manga.
Can anyone relate?
Both Chad and Stacy have no incentive not to lead their lessers on.
Just as a boss abuses his capital to milk the worker, Chad and Stacy have no reason not to use their attractive traits in order to milk you.
The current system almost guarantees misery and carrots on sticks, and it will only get worse as we hand over such choices to corporations/private interests that only have profit on their minds.
Why are they like this?
>meet a cute guy, we get on well and he’s funny and kindhearted
>he seems like he’s interested, we start flirting at a party and things are looking promising
>next time we’re at a party I’m going at it, (“let’s share a seat”, lots of hugging eye contact etc)
>this time somethings wrong, he looks all conflicted and uncomfortable
>turns out one of his friends, who is in my lectures, likes me and he has promised not to “get in his way”
I never expressed any interest in that guy and made it clear to him but now it’s ruined forever just for some bullshit territorial boy friendship thing.
I am Korean girl and I will talk about Korean boys
Korean boys who have foreign gf always they upload his gf naked photo and face. He say that she is teenage and very kind to him and sympathy. Maybe the foreign woman was lonely in korea and she thought the korean boy is kind. But this things always happen in Korean website. The korean website are not porno site. Almost korean boys use the web site. And they dont think it is not problem. The victims are not only asian. There are white victims too
And Korean boys even upload his daughters photo on web site. Korean boys talk sexual insult to the child. Any Korean boys dont think it is wrong.
I heard that the girls are very kind to the korean sex offenders and feel sympathy for the korean boys. And the victims are usually teenager so they cannot filter out sex offenders. I want to talk about this to all foreign girls.
What path am I supposed to take
There are too many options in life. Most are limited time offers. Right now, I only have two and even those are too much for me. The safe path will land me a career that I'm sure I will hate and too many regrets, but I will be stable and able to survive on my own if need be. The uncertain path is somewhat dangerous and will either lead to a happy life or a destitute one with different regrets but regrets all the same.
What am I supposed to do?
Mom thread
Anyone else grew up with an absent mother?
Mine was a paranoid schizophrenic and my dad had full custody of me, so I didn't see her much. I think I'm bad at being a girl as a result. The last time we met was 10 years ago, and at this point I'm afraid of reaching out to her.She deserves better ;_;
So sapphire.salon, tell me about your mom
Soulmates & Twin Flames
Do you believe they exist? At least at some level? If yes/no, why?
>A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility and trust.
>A twin flame shares many similarities with a soul mate. A twin flame can also be your soul mate, but to a more extreme level. Twin flames derive from the same soul, and are separated into two when they are created.
I think a guy in my class whacked off to me...idk what to do or how to feel
Well I feel pretty nervous tbh
To make a long story short I always sit in the very back of class behind a group of guys because it provides me the best vantage point of class and also allows me to play video games.
I noticed that of the group of guys who sit in front of me though one is always really freaked out whenever he sees me. And I see his friends nudge him whenever i come around.
I was wearing a pretty tight outfit today ngl because it was cold out and my tight clothes are warmer. Anyhow, the professor (also female, kinda pretty) was talking about drilling wet things and drilling dry and everyone in class basically was smirking about it at that point.
The guy who I think likes me kept whispering to his friend and stretching to look back at me. He yawns and leans back in his chair and i see him looking at me out of my peripheral vision.
At a certain point he starts to get really sweaty and goes to the bathroom although we're due to take a break in class soon and I've never seen him do that.
When he comes back all his friends are trying really hard not to laugh and they keep looking back at me. In fact they're doing it right now
Idk what to do it makes me extremely nervous to have people looking at me constantly. And I have this class every Wednesday it's usually more of the same. Help???
I am seething. I go on instagram to make a meme page and I see my ex's new Instagram and wouldn't you know it, the first post is a selfie. The whole time during my fucking relationship with him he'd tell me he didn't want to take photos because he had body image issues. I really wanted photos with him when I was with him and now I feel betrayed and so god damned angry.
Nothing helps.
Nothing helps. I don't know if I've just given up on life or I'm lazy or something but I think I've tried most "fulfilling" things to get rid of this void in my life.
I don't want a relationship, nor do I think it'll help me. I'm a pretty fucked up person atm and I don't wanna put that on other people.
I've tried religion (Catholicism, Christianity, hell even witchcraft), being straight edge, doing drugs, being friends with people online and irl, mediation, art, music, school, video games, therapy (+medication), exercise… nothing fits. Nothing makes me feel like there's anything worthwhile. I feel so out of place everywhere and in everything I do.
I don't really have friends anymore, and I'm thinking that's what's missing, but I only get drained socially when I hang out with anyone.
I don't know what to do or what to try to get my life back on track. I'm not at rock bottom but everything seems to be falling apart. There is just so much emptiness and sadness in the world. Everything seems like cope.
25+ thread?
Not sure how many of you are out there, but anyone got any mid to late 20's feels?
>didn't finish uni, going back because I'm tired of working retail
>no bf, feels like a lot of the decent ones are taken up, but starting to feel I'm a lot to blame in this department
>best friend just announced on Facebook that she's got a baby on the way, no idea how to tell her that I don't want to hang out with her this weekend because I'm unhealthy levels of jealous
>parents want me to go into nursing because it's what my hillbilly cousin did and now she's somewhat stable, but she is miserable and works at a pill mill
>26 atm, 30 is barrelling towards me like a train
>trying to improve my living situation and drop my hikki ways
>uninstalled the Sims from my laptop because it just makes me want dogs I can't afford
>just starting to see hints of wrinkles show up on my forehead
>almost at goal weight, but haven't been on a date in almost a year because I hate how I look still
>feels like I figured out the direction I want to take my life a little too late
>dozens of Pinterest boards filled with nothing but individual room designs for house I also can't afford
What even is my l i f e?
Why should anyone just unconditionally love themselves?
I just don't get it. What reason is there not to loathe yourself if you genuinely have loathsome aspects about yourself? Everyone says that it's wrong to hate yourself, but why? Sure, it's unfortunate, but is it really WRONG?
Hi, I don't know much about this place but I am glad to find a community full of girls. I'd like to share my /feels/ story here and get it off my chest to vent.
I am a severly mentally ill and an overemotional idiot and I am scared to talk to anyone about my feelings. The only person in my life who I felt could understand me was my grandmother but she was often busy. I decided to try manage some of these feelings by making a venting YouTube channel. I would make whiney videos talking about how ugly I was and what have you and because of the subject matter and because I was female it attracted a 4chan/incel audience.
I could not handle this, especially since I had a bad history with incels (I tried joining forever alone communities as a child and that resulted in a lot of them preying on me), so in response I made a lot of spergy videos, some I even cried in, which obviously got me made fun of and further hated.
So my family got doxxed, it was entirely my fault. But I shit you not my grandmother took her own life a few days after this happened because of financial problems. Everything happened at once and suddenly I got ripped in two.
My family was being harassed because of me at the same time we had lost someone. Basically due to my whiney attentionwhoring the situation got so much worse.
The internet doesn't rest when you are facing irl pain either. When people found out I lost my grandma to suicide they targeted me on that, telling me she was in hell when I know that's not true because she was basically the nicest and most wholesome woman in the world.
On top of that the media was clickbaiting her suicide extremely because of how it happened, almost capitalizing off of her death.
I just don't know how any of this is fair. How the best person I ever had the pleasure of knowing is disrespected in this way after her passing, that the world hurt her to the point of doing it to begin with. That this woman who was a huge mother figure to me growing up is just gone. It hurts even more knowing that a lot of the excess pain brought at the time could have been avoided if it weren't for my idiotic internet antics.
I can't really live with myself after everything and her absence leaves a void in my heart.
Trying to find a friend: L
Dear L, whose email started with ghosts(…),
I hope that someday you manage to see this thread, even if by chance, long after I post this. CC is small, but I have a feeling you'd love being here, so I hope you find it. I talked about you in the missed connections thread, but I think the chances of you seeing this here would be bigger. And I'm pretty sure you will someday.
It's been two years or so since we last talked. I don't even remember why I disappeared; if it was you or if it was me, but my closest friend wasn't comfortable with you because you know why, so back then I thought it was the right thing. I just wish I had managed to make things work in a different way. I really do. I apologize even for my excuses, they're not very good, are they?
Sorry it took me so long to try to contact you. When I emailed you last week and saw your account didn't exist anymore, I felt very sad. Now that I know you nuked your email I have no way to talk to you, and that leaves me broken hearted.
The last news I heard about you is that you got a divorce. If that's true, I am really sorry, but I hope good things come out of it.
Rereading our emails together is funny because we were so similar in many ways… And at the same time I was such an oversharer with you; you made me feel so comfortable.
I just hope you are happy, truly. Yesterday I remembered the song you sent me on my birthday and that made me laugh.
Wish you could understand my feelings, L. I wish we could have been closer friends. I hope your illness hasn't taken you away.
If you ever find this, even if you're not sure of who I am, please respond.
Wishing you all the best.
-M
–
Admin said it was ok to make threads directed to people we lost contact with. I'm sorry if anyone gets upset about this, but I really have no idea what to do.
Confidence
How do I appear more confident? Is it something reserved for pretty girls?
>be on testosterone for 2 years
>thinking about detransitioning
>quit taking testosterone for 2 weeks
>vaginal pains start up again and I fear my period
>take testosterone again
REEEEEEEE I WANT OFF THIS RIDE
henlo fwen
i'm new to this website. i always wondering if there are a girls website equivalent for 4chan. before that i just turn to 4chan whenever i want to vent bc its more comfortable doing it anonymously. glad this website exist bcus 4chan unironically turning me into misandrist lol
You ever get the impression that you may be a mistake?
Often, I feel like I'm the statistic that slipped away. The one who was supposed to die in some bizarre but fitting tragedy. Whether intentional or otherwise, though I don't feel suicidal.
I just get the impression I may be a mistake. But maybe that's a self centered suggestion. Maybe all of this is a mistake, every one else included. Who knows.
why are boys so cruel?
in 11th grade, we had a german girl in our school. she wanted to learn our language. (not english) she was so beautiful. she had blonde hair, blue eyes and perfect skin. people loved her. she was in my class. she would sit next to me. i remember how much fun we had. i would tell her funny stories and make her laugh. for some reason, she only talked to me which made me feel really confident. then one day, other boys came to my class and told me they wanted to talk to her, they wanted me to translate what they're saying. so i did. they were trying to invite her to their "party", they were saying some nasty things about her too. like how much they want to have sex with her, and how "tight" her pussy is. obviously, i didn't translate that part. i just told her that it's not a good idea to get involved with those guys. one of them noticed and told me to shut the fuck up and let her "decide" if she's going to come or not. they said they're not going to invite me because i'm not as "pretty" as her. i felt terrible, not because i want to have sex with them, but because they were calling me ugly, i had low self-esteem at the time (i still do). then they asked me how much i get paid for being a "translator" they didn't even know that i was a normal student. i wasn't a translator. i guess they never noticed me… i never really thought about this until now. boys are so cruel and i don't like them anymore. they've been assholes to me all my life and made me feel bad about myself. right now i'm just a depressed loser who hates herself and never leaves her room. thanks to my friends. high school ruined my life. and i'm never going to feel good about myself. i have no motivation to do anything anymore. i just want to lie in bed. i feel like i deserve to suffer because i'll never be good enough. i hate myself so much. i've been dealing with depression for the last 3 years and it's killing me.
Anyone else here /wage/?
I have been working for two weeks and I have wage rage.
My schedule is thusly.
5am wake up, eat breakfast, dress in the dark
6am walk better part of a mile to bus stop
6:30am bus takes me to bus station
7:00am get on other bus that takes me to work
8:30am-1pm wage
1pm lunch
2pm-5pm wage
5pm get on bus
6:20pm get back to bus station
6:40pm get back to bus stop
7pm home, rapidly make and eat dinner, care for pets, get everything ready for the next day
9pm lights out
My wage job is the only job I could find and I only got it because references put in the good word so I can't leave.
There is not much really wrong with the job itself, programming, only I hate waging. I despise it. I was NEET for a year after graduating college and I was flourishing. No stomach upset, not grinding teeth at night, no headaches, felt great every day. As soon as I began waging, it all came back to me, the old college feels, but so much worse because this time, there is no spring break, there is no Christmas break, and we only get 10 days PTO. 10. And like maybe 5 holidays the whole year.
There is the option to work remote at times and I am going to rape that option severely.
I have agoraphobia and delayed sleep phase disorder. Every day, I curse the fact that I'm not a stay at home mom and sometimes I just wonder to myself why I am single and no one loves me enough to give me a life of leisure and domestic relaxation such as I desperately want and need. I would gladly raise a few children in return for this.
But until then, I have to wage. Night.
I have been stood up.
What are your thoughs on PUA and why men are so sneaky?
They are digusting and make me feel dirty only thinking about it.
Are there really other women out there who fall for this shit? And man who are in need to pay for this kind of stuff?
Makes me ashamed to be a women/makes me want to become a lesbian. I'm I the only one who feels this way?
ITT anything that makes you cry easily and gives you the feels: videos, images, stories, movies/books suggestions, discussion, etc.
It's good to have a good cry once in a while.
IT’S FUCKING OVER HELP
I met a perfect boy at uni. At first I just noticed him because he is the absolute most handsome guy I’ve ever seen. Call me superficial but that alone made me develop a crush. I sort of tried to forget about him since I didn’t think it would go anywhere and tried to tell myself that he probably was a jerk anyway.
However, I was grouped with him and a few other girls for some group assignment, and he turned out to be the nicest person I’ve ever met. He’s ridiculously funny, interesting, cultured, creative (turns out he’s actually semi-famous in multiple fields), exciting, smart, he just has literally everything going for him. I’m not the most beautiful girl ever but I take care of myself (I’m skinny, have very well maintained natural blonde hair, blue eyes etc.). Acne has slways been a problem but after meeting this guy my face was finally clearing up. I suggested that everyone in the group exchanged numbers and everyone obliged.
Then the guy started texting (actually whatsapp which is the norm in my country but whatever) me. Mostly school stuff but also some personal things. He’d always reply to me right away, never left me on read, and was always willing to help and when I helped him he was super grateful and cute about it. I’ve never had text contact as good as this. He’d always say hi to me when we ran into each other, and in class he’d letvme sit with him. If he was talking to other people he’d always try to make me a part of the conversation too.
It got even better when I found out he was basically pure (yes meme af I know, you know what I mean). He was very serious about hygiene (he talked about how he disliked visiting friends who didn’t clean their rooms properly), wasn’t active on FB, IG or dating apps, isn’t part of a frat, and disliked weed (he does drink though but so do I so ehrm yeah). He also never mentioned a gf or anything like that.
The thing is, despite growingsomewhat close he never asked me out or anything and I was afraid to ask him out because I’m not sure if I’m worthy of him and came to the conclusion that he might be gay or something and I didn’t want to embarrass him. He was literally too perfect to not have a gf.
Then it all went wrong.
Last night I went out for drinks with a few uni friends and afterwards walked back to the train station (I don’t live in my uni’s city, I live with my parents in my hometown (which is completely normal in my country, the boy does the same thing as do most students)). During my walk I passed my uni’s most notorious sorority house (again, we don’t have campusses here so sorority houses are just somewhere in the city) which is only open to really, really rich girls. I have classes with a few of them and they’re mostly quite friendly, but some of them really look down on me for not being one of them. There’s one in particular who’s the only person in my year whom I dislike because she treats anyone who isn’t a rich skinny white girl like shit (I’m a skinny white girl but my parents aren’t multi millionaires and I don’t play the sorority social game).
Then I heard the voice of the boy. I looked around and saw him standing a little further down the street. The girl I hate was with him. Then she kissed him. And they just kept going.
I stood there for like five minutes. I finally decided to take a different route and ended up missing my train and had to wait 30 minutes for another one.
When I got home I started crying and I could barely sleep and I’m still crying now. I’m sorry if none of this makes sense because I’m so fucking mad and upset. The boy and the girl don’t even talk to each other in class. She’s also really tall (180cm+), don’t guys hate tall girls and only like short girls? I want to scream but I don’t want my parents to hear.
I just had to post this, I’m sorry if it’s too bloggy. Do any of you have experience with the one you love ending up with someone you hate? Maybe found out that someone you thought could be a potential bf actually had a gf?
I’m never going to find anyone like this ever again. And now he’s off limits and tainted anyway.
Task Accountability Thread
Need some support with achieving your daily tasks and reaching your goals?
What things do you want to get done today/tomorrow?
Here's a thread where we can put down our tasks for the day, cheer each other on for accomplishing them, and offer support/ideas for those finding it hard.
For example:
19th May or Saturday's Tasks or To do
- Do laundry
- Take out trash
- Read chapters 3 and 4
- Get out of bed before 9am
Helpful links that may help you set goals and tasks
Mini habit ideas: https://minihabits.com/mini-habit-ideas/
The ABC method: https://www.briantracy.com/blog/leadership-success/practice-the-abc-method/
Pomodoro technique: https://francescocirillo.com/pages/pomodoro-technique
I got dumped by being ghosted
He went from being super into me to just not responding to my texts for a few days then unfriending me online.
Why do people ghost? It's such garbage.
Long term relationship recently ended and now I have too much spare time. What do?
Hi /feels/, My relationship of two years recently ended and I'm finding myself at a loss for what to do with all the spare time I have now. I've got back into learning japanese and I've downloaded a tonne of stuff to watch but I can't shake the constant loneliness. It is so horrible not having someone around all the time for company and I don't really have many good IRL friends. what do you guys suggest I should do? How can i stop myself from becoming a social isolate again?
What should I do?
Went through my bfs phone and found an old conversation he had with a mutual friend, in which he talked about how he wanted to fuck some girls and then they rated them.
The conversation happened a month before we got together. (We've been dating for 13 months)
Also searching through his Facebook history I found out that he looked up a girl that only uploads bikini pictures.
Nicknames
Post cute, silly or funny nicknames you've given your friends and loved ones or ones that have been given to you. Bonus if you explain the context.
So this boy I liked recently got this other GF who is far less attractive than myself despite him already knowing I liked him??
What could possibly make him do this? How do I turn it around now?
I know it sounds edgy but when I found this place a I felt profound sense of belonging. I’m so glad I found you, sisters.
https://global.peoplematching.org/
Is it worth a try? Will I possibly find someone interesting through this?
Theory: the comparison between femcels and incels prove that Women are better people than men
you don't see anyone here getting bitter or angry, calling for the heads of all men for not dating us. We don't worship Chads whereas incels constantly orbit stacies and we have actual empathy for each other instead of crab bucketting each other out of spite
Miscarriage
Thought I would be never be able to get pregnant. Thought that not being able to get pregnant was the worst feeling.
Boy was I wrong. I'm in a lot of pain, physical and emotional. Some weirdo told me I'm probably miscarrying because one of my crazy male exes is into the dark arts, I'd like to hear from people who are less batshit insane.
Anyone else experienced this? Any advice on what to do?
binge eating
Sup. Been struggling with binge eating for nearly the past year. Super stressful academic load + self-control out the window. Still lift so I've managed not to become overweight but my once goddess-like body has reached normie tier. What do? I keep starting diets and failing. Haven't really had to deal with this shit before so I don't even know where to begin.
Becoming a Surrogate Mother
I'm somewhat short on cash and have been thinking about this lately. To be a surrogate mom seems like an easy way to make a lot of extra money - just go about your normal life while you just happen to be pregnant and go to doctors appointments on occasion. It would be like going through bearing your own offspring (something I'll eventually have to do anyway) without the end result of having to raise the child.
Most agencies require you have had at least one successful pregnancy and are raising your own kid, but I've found a few that don't, you just have to get a doctor's approval that you are healthy and fertile while meeting the other requirements (which I'm almost positive I do).
I doubt any anons here have been surrogates themselves but I do know that a few of you are mothers. Can any parents here chip in and give a word or two of advice or possibly talk me out of it if this sounds like a stupid idea? I'm still very young and in college part-time so I know that my mom would flip her shit if I tried bringing it up with her like she does with anything. But I'm an adult so ultimately it's my decision, I just don't know who to go to for advice.
Boyfriend cheated
My long distance boyfriend came to visit me. I went through his phone (terrible, I know) and I was really hoping I wouldn't find anything but I found a text thread of him bragging to his friend about fucking a girl. He tells me it was a mistake, that he was confused, paranoid, depressed, and it didn't mean anything. I've been extremely sad this whole visit now, we're at his parents house which is 4 hours away from my actual home city. I'm trying to forgive him but this whole thing has been horrible. We did acid and I got drunk and tried to burn myself and I just cried in a corner (I have no recollection of this). I don't know if I should forgive and forget or go home and break up. I'm really disgusted with men right now, I'm bisexual and right now I'm wondering if I'd be happier with a girl.
Anyone here vocel?
So many threads here seem to be about relationships or >tfw no bf so I thought I'd start a thread for sort of the opposite feel and see if it takes off.
Anyone else abstaining from relationships and/or sex? Talk about it here and your reasons for doing such.
do you get along well with people who use imageboards as well?
what about 4chan? do you know anyone irl who browses them?
>tfw i ended up getting an irl bf who browses r9k, but he isnt a dick incel and heavily respects me, hes just as autistic as i am and accepting of my autism and ive never been happier
>supervisor at my college refuses to properly do his job
>dicks me around for months making me travel out to his office only to tell me he isn't ready to speak with me
>breaks all appointments
>gives incorrect information
>lied to other students
>lied about when he was going to grade my work so I'm still not free of him
I'm so angry, how can I funnel this into something more product than sitting around fuming over it?
Self help/introspective books
Y'all read? Lately I've had a rough time obsessing over everything, hating myself, and not regulating my emotions. What are some written materials that have helped you become a better person, or see yourself/humanity in a different light?
I like the "This is Water" graduation speech by David Foster Wallace haha. And this.
>grow up socially awkward and fat
>develop sense of humor to compensate
>rely on it for everything
>use it as an emergency exit every time my personality flaws and insecurity emerge
>eventually it just becomes my personality when I interact with people
>bury myself under layers of irony so I can stay detached from things because it's supposed to be better than the pain of losing those things
>do this for years, can no longer tell the difference between the real me and artificial me
>no longer sure whether what I say or do is genuinely me or if my brain has gotten so efficient at pretending to be someone else that I don't notice anymore
>internalize detachment so much that I become emotionally numb
>every feeling I have left is some flavor of anger or sadness that I don't understand
>become pic related
>"I love you for who you are" thread happens
>try to picture what it would be like to have someone say it to me
>can't even visualize it without getting uncomfortable
>my psyche is acting like the fake person I'm imagining is lying to get me into a vulnerable position to take advantage of me
I literally can't even imagine a scenario in which I make a genuine human connection, attempting to results in anxiety. I think it's because I've completely lost any idea of who I actually am and can't believe the idea that someone else might, meaning I can't accept anyone's love toward me as genuine. What do I do with these feels? How do I get over this?
What do i do if i keep getting depressed because i live in a small town in the middle of nowhere and literally everything i look at reminds me how depressing my life is i literally just feel sad
I cant even focus on anything all i want to do is progress my life and i cant. As soon as i sit down to play a game or do something my legs instantly just start squirming and i feel uncomfortable and depressed that Im wasting time and i just have shit in the back of my head saying your life sucks your life sucks your life sucks then i see something or hear something that reminds me how much my life sucks
Like if someone in a show goes on vacation oh i never got to go on vacation. The person goes to the beach. Oh no beach for me. The person in my video game is on a tropical island. Oh no tropical island for me. The movie character lives in a big city oh i dont get to live in a big city i dont get that. I literally just look at peoples lives who are in prison because its the only thing thats as bad as mine
The only people i talk to are girls are online and i just ghost them as soon as their life sounds better to me which spoiler alert is fucking literally everybody. I’m getting an Uber. Oh i dont get to do that I’m in a small town thats too luxurious for me. Oh i live on Long Island or San Bernardino. Oh no major city for me i dont get that thats not for me. Oh I’m smoking weed. Oh no weed for me I’m on probation for being black i dont get that luxury
Literally fucking everybody has a fucking better life. I see people thanking god and shit and I’m just like where the fuck is god for me. How come I’m just sitting here suffering and gods just throwing shit at you people who already have better lives than me. Where the fuck is my blessings. I dont fucking get it. My life is literally worse than anyone else’s its like god just forces me in a corner where I’m forced to kill myself but thats too hard
online dating
if someone on the internet you don't know very well but still talk to, kept calling your girlfriend bad names and told her he's going to rape her, what would you do?
>Going through bars with friends on a weekend
>Get inside
>Drink and take few Es
>The band plays and its fucking fun
>Somebody offers us drinks
>There are a couple of foreigners, but theyre probably Finnish ones
> At this point, be fucked up, those randoms asked me for an encore: at least from there I woke up. There were used needles here and there.
So I got back home and my boyfriend didn't like how I was out. Finally, We made out about which I dont remember much. I went to the doctor for strange symptoms like a week ago.
I thought I was pregnant but I took the tests recently and otherwise be safe, so it couldnt be that. They took some others and today I learned that I have hepatitis C
What the fuck do I do, I cant fucking tell him either or the cats out.
I'm 99% sure my boyfriend is cheating on me.
I tried to talk about it and make him admit it, but he won't. I don't care about the high road anymore, I just want to plan a safe exit and get proof of his cheating. Please help me through this trying time sisters
i am feeling some of the most conflicting horrible love feelings i've ever felt in my life and i need some advice baaad. please please dont respond just calling me a bad person
I had my two first kisses and got into my first irl relationship yesterday and it all got hecked over from there.
i barely knew the girl, had talked to her like three times before but was vaguely interested in her and our mutual friend told her that, and we were standing around together and then suddenly she said she'd date me then when we were talking to our third friend
a warning that i am not that terrible of a person and it was super clear our relationship was openish, as she kissed somebody there with my permission and showed the other two people her nudes etc etc/she just made it kinda clear it was open.
so we met up with a third friend (male) then went to a fourth persons house - he was good friends with them but i had just met them. then the alcohol came out and we all got wasted as hell, i kissed her, then she ended up kissing another guy - there was a lot of banter that made me feel closer with all of them/made me feel familiar with the other guy. there was a lot of physical contact with me getting picked up and passed around by them, playful ass smacking, etc etc. at the end of the night she left and i ended up just cuddling up to that new guy because i was too tipsy to sit up straight really and we were videocalling my gf,i ended up having my leg up on his lap and my hand on his shoulder etc and he was rubbing my leg (is this just him making things not awkward or is it a sign he liked me?). in the end i had to go home a little bit later, then i asked him to help me up and it led to me being held/picked up by him again, then just suddenly we leaned in and kissed twice then i left. now i just literally can't stop thinking about that, i can't stop thinking about the way he rubbed my leg and held me and can't stop thinking about his lips against mine and its tearing me apart. ive just been replaying that in my head while listening to the music we had playing. i tried to tell myself it was just the alcohol fucking my thought process over and i didnt like him and should like her but i went out with her today and the whole fucking time i was just replaying that in my head. what do i even do
Dear crystal.cafe
I'm turning 22 in a few days and for some reason I feel incredibly old ( most people I work / interact with are 18-20)
What is something that you would like to have known when you where 22?
What is some advice you wish someone had given you ?
I am posting here a bit for advice, but mainly to vent. I really don't have anyplace else to just dump out what I am going through. My sisters would just get sucked in and the only friend I know wouldn't gossip told me I am living in a telenovela and said she has no ideas.
Background;
I come from a big, complicated family. My family has lived in the same mostly-rural area since before the Civil War and my great-grandfather had 9 children from his 3 wives and all his kids had a lot of kids, so - lots of half-siblings and 2nd cousins twice removed, etc. We are fairly close, overall, especially since the family still all lives within about 150 miles of each other.
Last Spring I got a job at a local office for a big company. I'm still in university, but the money is ok and they let me work around my school schedule, so I am very grateful. in Autumn a consultant was brought in for the IT department. I remember at first the office was making fun of him before he even got there,
"The IT consultant is a guy from Alabama? Do they even have computers in Alabama?"
[Our office is near the Great Lakes]
Then they found out he is only 22 and it got worse.
He arrived and, well, it stopped. First, he's huge. 6'4", 230 lbs, obviously a gym sort. Second, he graduated Georgia Tech when he was 19. Third, he's really handsome with blue eyes, a deep voice with a southern drawl, and, just….
And last, he's very warm and friendly.
I met him as soon as I could because he has an unusual last name. Not 'one in a million' but not Smith, but it is a name in my family. So the second day he was in I met and told him I had relatives with that name, so we talked. He had never been close to where I lived, had never met any relatives I knew, his family had been in Georgia for 30+ years, his family was Catholic (we're all Baptists) I had never heard of him, so - coincidence, I figured.
But we really hit it off at that lunch and pretty soon we were having lunch every Thursday. After a month he asked me out and we did a movie and dinner. The religious differences were odd, but OK, especially since we are both committed to waiting until after marriage.
By Halloween my mom was insisting he meet her and dad, so he came to dinner. Mom interrogated him like I had, but relaxed a lot when he (I'll call him John) told her his father's first name. Dad and John really liked each other immediately, and mom warmed up to him. My kid sisters adored him and were really funny about it.
John was going home from Thanksgiving until the next project phase, which started 2 weeks abo. John and I skyped once a week, and emailed once a day (I tried not to obsess) and it was just working. He told me that his father wanted to come back with him to meet me, which I was thrilled about (his mother had passed away in 2016). My parents obviously wanted to meet John's dad, too.
So John and his dad flew up on the 8th and got a hotel and the next day the two of them met with me, my mom & dad, and my 3 sisters at
the nicest restaurant in town.
[At this point my friend said "Oh, no, right?"]
When they came in my mother very literally gasped. She was white and clutched my dad's hand. They were walking across the room and my next older sister said 'its great-grandpa'. And it was true - John's dad looked just like the picture of my mother's grandfather from the piano. I remember my mom when they got there,
"Louis?"
John's dad, "I use my real first name now. Henry. It's good so see you, Cissy."
Mom, "I use Christine, now."
Henry, "It has been a long time."
Mom, "34 years and 3 months".
And I remember the look of shock on my dad's face when she said the exact duration.
But things calmed down a lot, immediately. Henry is a charming, warm, friendly man. He was the youngest of great-grandfather's children, the half-brother of my mother's mother, just a year older than mom.
He told us wonderful stories about joining the army, travelling all over the world, meeting famous people - a wonderful time and we were all relaxed by the end.
My youngest sister asked, "Why did you leave? And why haven't we heard of you?"
Henry, "Some people need to do things their own way and I wanted to travel. And there are so many members of the family, no one can keep track of all of us!"
Afterwards, we all went home or to the hotels.
That night Mom and dad told me that I couldn't see John anymore.
I was very upset. After all, we're only second cousins and through a half-sibling relationship. But they were both insistent. They admitted I am an adult, but told me, "no good will come of this."
John and I met on Monday and he asked me to dinner.
His father had told him everything.
When they were in high school my mom and Henry fell in love - uncle and niece. Half-uncle, but…. His junior and senior years (her sophomore and junior) in high school they had a 'passionate affair' that ended when my mom's dad caught them in the act. Great-grandpa was furious, as was mom's parents. Henry enlisted and left, never coming back until 2 weeks ago. He married and had John.
Last Saturday I talked to my mom about it. She told me that if John and I were together it would be a constant reminder of the affair to her and dad as well as the rest of the family.
John leaves today, the project complete. He told me he wants to continue to see me. He understand this might be too much, but he's willing to try.
Terribly typed blogpost vent over.
I finally finally broke free of the femcel curse and had my first kiss - But would it be unfair to expect anything from it?
We were at a get together, two of my friends and the house owner - We all got drunk. He kept picking me up and I kept looking over at him, and It ended with me laying beside the house owner/cuddling up to him, I had my hand on his hand then around his shoulder and on his arm, I had my leg on his and he was kind of stroking my leg with his hand, and when I had to go he picked me up and I leaned in for a kiss and yeah we kissed. Was this just some sort of casual drunk thing or do you think I should pursue him? I'm so fucking glad I broke out of the kissless part of the kissless virgin thing but aaahhh.I hope I don't end up attached
I've already made a thread about this but it was with the wrong perspective. I kissed somebody while drunk and they were the first boy I've ever kissed or cuddled with, but we were both drunk and I think they just don't care about me in the slightest which feels very very very bad because it was a genuinely special and valuable moment for me and I feel like an idiot and feel like I'm going to hold onto that for the rest of my life. I might, just might, be overreacting or being stupid but I doubt it. The reasons I believe that are because 1. We had just met that night, and 2. They did add me on snapchat but when I tried to talk to them they just messaged me very very very brief things then just left me on open.
I don't really know what to do or how to stop feeling so fucked up and over by the fact that I wasted a valuable moment.
Do you get anxious about making accounts/usernames? I always spend a lot of time thinking about my username, how I like it, how it sounds, how it looks, and what other people will think about it. And half the time I end up not liking it lol.
I've been putting off joining a forum for a fandom I like because I'm so stuck up on what I want to go by.
I feel like this isn't normal.
How do go about creating an identity? Or do you not put much thought into it?
Hi /feels/!
I need your help. I have a problem with a guy in my class. Despite his looks (Bookish nerd, relatively short, thin, eyes with dark circles and somewhat long hair) he keeps stepping outside the social ladder and being a smug jackass who makes fun of me and calls me stupid. And while I'm not the most popular of the bunch, I just can't stand a worm like that stepping out of his social strata and punching this far upwards.
When I confronted him about why he does this he just said she finds me funny, laughed, then excused himself and went to whatever place he usually lounges at.
So /feels/, how can I take revenge on the little faggot? Telling the teachers is out of the question because he's a teacher's pet too.
despair
last year around this semester i took a leave of absence from college because of my depression. ive been learning to deal with it in better ways since then and have grown from that experience and used that time to know myself more and work on my art.
now that the new semester is starting im feeling those old feelings again. the past week has been rough and ive been going through my lowest lows. i attended my first semester since my LOA and it was good so i dont know whats wrong with me but i just cant shake this overwhelming despair. the thought of going back to school brings me so much anxiety and makes me so sad.
theres a part of me that says i dont have to and that i can just drop out right now, that life is meaningless and if im shit thats okay. i want to just stay in my room and die. i think of all the time ahead of me and i cant bear it.
i dont really know what to do, i just want to do nothing and not exist. lately ive just been painting nonstop..my hand hurts but aside from sleeping its the only way i can stop thinking. im turning 21 this year and i feel the same way ive always felt, the emptiness is always there and every day i still feel like kms. i dont know if anyone can advise me, but i guess if u have similar experiences id like to hear? lets be here for each other.
The ride never stops. On and on it’s beyond insane
>be me
>need attention and validation from strangers to not cry in the middle of the day
>get attention from strangers and friends
>feel uncomfortable, spill spaghetti, etc.
>repeat as infinitum
What do miners? How do I upgrade social gains? What are you supposed to do when strangers smile and are nice to you? How are you supposed to respond when a guy likes you but you don’t like him? I just feel like I’m always doing it all wrong
Anyone else /feel/ like this?
How do I stop??
How do I stop doing this? This is just so terribly wrong of me and I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know if I'm bpd or something.
When a boy/person I'm interested in makes me even slightly jealous, even the implication that they might have a 'side girl' or be flirting with others, I just have a meltdown and consider self harm/suicide (i dont threaten them with it, just keep it to myself. i am not trying to be manipulative with this, its out of my control) and instantly consider this person not an option any longer.
same with when they make me feel ignored/neglected/like they don't like me - this one boy I really like ignored me when I said hi to him and I just instantly felt this wave of horrible feelings consume me, I walked into class feeling like dying/etc.
I hate this part of me so much and this clearly prevents me from having any normal relationships. I've never had an irl boyfriend before. I hate this very much and don't know what this is.
Why does everyone treat me like I'm a freak?
I try very hard to look, act, and dress completely normal. I wear hoodies and jeans and bean boots in different colors pretty much every day, don't do crazy makeup, wear my hair in a bun, etc. and yet people stare at me like I'm a weird freak and laugh.
I've stopped going to most of the restaurants I like around my school because I tend to go there like every day and the people always laugh at me. The other day I walked out of the bibimbap place last week and one of the servers (she's Korean, I'm black) stared at me and then when I said hi to make it not so awkward she just stared and then started talking to her friend on the phone. Then when I ate there again today that lady started talking to her friend and laughing while she served me and gave me that weird look. I looked at how she served other people and she didn't do anything like that with them.
Today in class I asked a guy casually if the professor had taken attendance, he stared at me like I was speaking Chinese before just saying "uhhh no" and walking out quickly.
Am I so ugly that people literally feel the need to gawk and laugh and run away from me? What do you do about being a freak? Should I just retreat from society? I don't understand people. Can anyone relate?
My dead crush
When I was a depressed NEET a few years ago I started reading old literature to cope. I found a writer I really identified with and started reading about his life, too. After a while I started to dream about him, and was a little obsessed. I'd daydream about being born decades and decades ago when he was still young and alive, meet him, and we'd fall in love and be together. Sometimes when I was in worse mood I'd think about killing myself and meeting him in the afterlife kek.
I think I fell in love with "him" and this feeling lasted a long time until I broke free from neetdom.
I want to know if what I went through is common at all… Maybe it isn't and I am a freaky weirdo, but I want to know if anyone here has ever had any similar experience.
Self harm general
Anyone else self harm(ed)?
>Why
>How
>Advice
>Have you ever been caught?
>Do you want to be caught?
>Do you try to leave scars?
Okay, so I'm going to attend a uni party this Saturday in a house. I'm in love with this dude for like a year so I thought that if I meet new boys at this party I might get over him. Any tips on being more friendly, making more friends and maybe finding a bf. I'm a tall, socially awkward female and I'm at least a 6/10. Any tips on how to act and what to wear in general?
>cute guy in my class
>shy and introverted like me
>have never talked but we both still know each other
>both of us steal glances at each other multiple times a day, both look away quickly everytime
>has been going on for a few months now
what do?
what are good tips for moving away from obsessing over old friends/old habits?
i want to stop posting onto 4chan so much and want to stop obsessing over my ex.
Vent Thread
Last one has reached post limit
>>>/feels/15610
Post your favourite movie
>be me
>never had irl bf before, no males interested in me
>random girl with her group of friends calls me over to ask if i think her friend is cute because he needs a gf
>i do
>i joke around/act really lighthearted about it because i'm too afraid of rejection but i try to show that i am interested in him
>send him two texts that are just joke flirting and he ignores them
>the next, call out something very purposefully silly (unsure of how to actually start a conversation while showing interest
>"hey babe do you still need a girlfriend" "are you friendzoning me?"
>he stays silent and just flips me off
>been in a huge crisis/anguish about this throughout all of this, think about him all day
>suddenly understand that he might just think i was messing with him instead of being cold and rejecting me
>im fucking dumb
d-does it sound like he thinks i was messing with him/im messing with him? how do i casually reverse this? i'll see him tomorrow again at lunch break
help help help
Gigolos
Have any of you ever hired a gigolo? Thought about it? What do you think of them and the women who hire them?
Posting on this board because I guess the miners most likely to be interested in this would post here.
Is anyone else here a closeted weeb? Can we have a thread about these feels plz?
Good looking men
Has anyone here dated a man more attractive than them? Are they more likely to cheat?
don't hate me
why did I have to be raised by a single mother I'm such a pathetic piece of cowardly shit
Relationship attraction issues
Okay guys I'm drunk enough to ask you some real questions since I wouldn't be able to ask them sober
I'm currently dating a really nice dude, nicer than other dudes or ladies I've encountered. Let's call him Robert. I've known him for half my life.
>feeling good
But then my attraction starting decreasing for Robert when I got reminded of a dude I had spoke to briefly in my class a year ago, let's call him Jason. He is smart and successful, but the dude I'm dating isn't really successful. He is hardworking but isn't bright. Thing is I don't know anything about Jason. I haven't spoke to Jason since class a year ago and we spoke minimally if anything hardly.
>start contemplating
Jason starts coming out in my recommended list on one social media application and I start thinking more about him. We are not friends. I start thinking, maybe I should add Jason and get to know him. On the other hand I have this wonderful nice dude I'm dating, it's just the overall physical attraction and brightness part is personally getting to me.
Advice? Should I just break it off with this nice dude if I feel this way? Work it out? Should I befriend Jason even if we weren't friends in person? Is that weird? I don't know what to do, the drink can only help so much guys
Self Esteem
How did you manage to build some up? I don't have any and it's wrecked every single relationship throughout my life. I don't want to live like this anymore
i met this guy on discord. he's like 25, and i'm 30. we became very close and i'd have these fantasies about actually meeting up with him. i know some girls who met their husbands online so why not? but then he started like mailing me gifts and things started to seem like they might actually happen, and i got cold feet. it's been literal years since i've dated anyone and my own life is kind of a mess i'm trying to fix right now, and driving like 12 hours to go see him seemed really scary. i sorta tried to get time off work to go see him but when my pto request was denied i didn't really push for it anymore.
then we really started to butt heads politically. he's a trump voter and i'm very much not. i'm sorta wondering if i kinda pushed things in that direction purposely or if it just kinda happened. i'm kinda obsessed with politics and like to share my opinions. idk.
anyway, i told him that now wasn't a good time and i need to work myself out before i can really consider dating anyone very seriously. he was upset but kind of okay with it. we kept talking though, as friends at first, but then things were kinda right back where they were with us being kinda seriously into each other. then he met another girl, irl.
now we don't talk very much, and when we do it's not the deep, meaningful communication that we used to have. i probably shouldn't feel this way, but i miss talking to him a lot. it doesn't help that i'm kind of a loser, and don't have much in the way of friends. right now i feel sort of hurt, and then like i shouldn't feel that way because it's my fault in the first place for pushing him away.
i really miss him, silly as it all sounds.
> meet cute boy online
> get his telegramm
> text for over 3 months every fucking day
> today he said he actually want gay boyfriend
I haven't really made any new friends since I left high school. Well, that's not exactly true, but I haven't made any friends that I hang out with outside of class really.
It's been three years since I graduated. I don't know what's wrong with me. I used to have friends I did things with regularly.
Does anyone else have this problem? Am I just a schizoid?
Talk about how you suffered as a child
Share how you suffered as a child or what scarred you as child.
/Aspie/ Feels and Vent
Non-spergs are welcome to join in too, but, this is a thread about all the bad (and good I suppose) feels that are a part of a spergy life.
Tfw:posts comment on meme page receives dick pics and tit requests for three days…
Anyone else relate?
anyone else here /bpd/? this is hell
i either cant form a connect to someone, or i do and then when they dont respond fast enough or if they make other good friends (specifically female) i get so so so so so jealous and it hurts so much. i hate this
Growing up in a religious household or community
Did it fuck you up? How?
Did it help you in the long run?
Are you still religious? If yes, how much?
Do you wish you were raised like other people?
Is your family still very religious?
Share and discuss.
Just looking to relate to other people as my upbringing fucked me up in many aspects, but I am thankful for several things as well.
Should I post this to /b/? Not sure. I know we already have a thread asking if anons believe in god, so I wanna hear from people who were raised to do so.
Who else here /middleofnowhere/?
>Be me
>23 years old
>Live in the North of England so everything is expensive and moving out of my parents house isn't an option
>Trying to make a career in a creative field
>Don't drive
>Transport links from my shitty tiny town in the middle of nowhere to the city are abysmal
>Tfw constantly being turned down for jobs due to location
>Absolutely no career options closer to home
>Literally being cucked out of making a life for myself due to this
Anyone else feel absolutely hopeless sometimes? People who live in suburbs near the city don't know how fucking lucky they are, the world is their goddamn oyster. It's honestly so depressing to be stuck in a dead end town where everyone knows who you are when you go out. It's so freeing to be in the city and to just blend in with everyone.
Also just general /inthemiddleofnowhere/ feels
Iwn have a qt white bf
It's pretty much all i want in life, that and to have his kids but it probably won't happen for me.
How do you forgive yourself?
Any high earners with loneliness problem here?
I'm earning relatively high, $150k per year which is about 3 times average where I live.
It's very rare that anyone hits on me, and even if they do they disappear after learning more about me.
Are guys just intimidated?
/mom/ general
Any other moms here? My second kid was born a couple months ago and this site has been a good timekiller when I'm up at ungodly hours feeding the boob goblin.
Let's talk mom related feels!
Sometimes I read posts from guys on other imageboards saying how they wish they had a girlfriend they could dress up and do anything to. The guys who have that feel so lucky. And many times the girl is even a bit reluctant. But as for me I would love someone to devote my whole self to, I wish someone thought I was attractive enough to request something like that of me. I have a boyfriend but I'm honestly thinking of leaving him because we have no sex or romantic life whatsoever. It's actually lonelier now than when I was single, because the fact that I would but he doesn't want me to makes me feel so unwanted. Does anyone else know this feel?
"So how come you're not married?"
"Why don't you want to be a mother?"
Well, I dunno, cuz my family life was so horrible?
So, I have a crush on this guy for like a year. We don't talk that much, only when we go out with mutual friends but I know he cares about me. So basically we kinda drifted apart these couple of weeks and I miss him like crazy, he's kind of a depressed, emotional chad and likes to make fun of me. Anyways, my friend that he knows that I like him mentioned that I miss him, his reply was pretty confusing. He just sighed and changed the subject. What does that mean? What can I do? I'm not the type of person that texts him or talks to him a lot so his reaction is pretty weird.
Changing your personality
My parents never go a day without telling me I have a shit personality and am beyond help at this point. They always tell me I’m difficult, disagreeable, negative etc. even though I don’t think I’m acting like that. Recently I told my mom over the phone that I’ve been searching Facebook groups for roommates in the city so I can finally move out of my Dad’s house and she sternly told me that I’m “not easy” and should wait until I can afford to live on my own to “spare other people a headache”.
The thing is, I don’t think they’re wrong. I’ve burned a ton of bridges over the years, was suddenly ghosted by my best friend last year without an explanation. I can’t tell you how many times people randomly cut me out of their life, even if we had a long history together.
I don’t even know what I’m doing that’s so horrible that people can’t stand to be around me. I try to be friendly, generous, agreeable but my mom says all my friendships ended because naturally I “repell people”.
I do know that both of my parents are toxic people themselves who see no wrong in their shit behavior. My mom is somewhat of a narcissist with a bad reputation around the town and my Dad is an abuser who beats his wives and adult children. My therapist told me it’s probably gaslighting but how would it be gaslighting if I’m constantly losing all my close friends left and right? I feel like I must’ve inherited toxic traits from them, and the reason I don’t see wrongdoing in my actions is because both my parents are the same way.
How do I change this about myself? It’s gotten to the point that I don’t even want to try making new friends because I’m now terrified of losing people. I hate feeling like shit about myself when someone who I care deeply about kicks me to the curb without telling me why. It’s been making me really depressed. I really just want to be a good person who doesn’t scare everyone away.
What IS a Stacy?
Is Emma Stone a Stacy? Guys seem to either find her really cute (and she has a badass dewp voice and humor) or absolutely hideous.
>used to unironically use twitter
>find a guy who posts haha funney tweets
>we become friends & talk on discord alot
>we e-date for like 2 days and i send him a pic of my face
>realize that we want to just be friends
>later in the relationship i do stupid shit like block him a few times
>block him out of anxiety again and fuck up more
>he has no faith in the relationship and doesnt want to be friends anymore oh no shit shit shit.jpg
>2-3ish months later
>one of his friends posts a picture of my face to troll me
>my stomach hurts and my head stings.jpg
>a day later i confront him about it and he explains
>tells me that him and his friend were in a call and that they wanted to troll me and that he gave his friend a picture of my face willingly
>what the fuck
>he kind of apologizes but not really
>mostly just says stuff like ''oh yea i suck im a horrible person look at me im self aware
>more hurtful stuff happens later im too lazy to say stuff and stuff oh yea
>delete twitter
>depressed and nearly suicidal ouch
please help im so mad at him but i miss him so much i dont know if i miss him romantically or platonically but it hurts. sometimes i think of him to the point where i just stare and its almost interfering with my daily life
/cutting/
Does anyone do this? I have to hide my legs for the rest of my life, kill me
>don't like lesbians or bisexuals
>have been vehement about this in the past
>start liking a real, average woman
Is this karma? I'm definitely not a lesbian, but I don't like the fact that I am attracted to a woman and it upsets me. How do I stop feeling this way?
Paranoid Boyfriend
>Start dating this guy, he's really attractive and loves me
>He is also a national socialist, I am fine with this
>He joins a political movement in his country doing activism, I am also fine with this
>Starts to get paranoid, thinks people are monitoring our calls and texts, tells me to start using encrypted email with him
>Starts telling me he's worried for my safety and that the secret police in his country are gonna detain me and everyone he loves because of his activism
>Starts corresponding with political criminals
>In a call one day hear sounds, ask what they are
>He tells me he's checking for wire taps
>Occasionally he calls me up frantically warning me to "get out of the country as soon as possible"
Does anyone else have this problem? Any advice? I don't want to dump him because I love him but I wish he wouldn't get so paranoid and weird. I am worried about the people he is hanging with tbh he says he can't not do activism or he'll hate himself.
loner feels/mentally ill feels
Is anyone here a loner/hikki/neet or similar? I have severe anxiety problems and I get panic attacks easily when I leave my house that have just gotten worse over the years that I have been out of high school. I won't lie and say that this lifestyle is nice, a lot of the time when I get in my bed to sleep I start crying pretty hard about how this all ended up so terribly, but I couldn't imagine not being a friendless shut-in like I am now. I haven't heard from any of my high school friends in over a year (I'm 22), I think they finally gave up and forgot about me after I just ignored them so much in order to stay inside. I'm at the point where having a boyfriend is like an eternal noon-time fantasy fueled by anime romance tropes and I'll never have the guts to pursue a boy for real, I "dated" a few guys online but those all fell through because they wanted to meet me or just go further than text which is way too much pressure for me. I don't even care about sex, not like I really ever did much since I'm a virgin and it doesn't bother me at all. Anyway, you all seem to have your lives together and I guess it makes me a bit depressed, so I'm just looking for anons to relate to.
What do you think of Stacy’s speech about how we should feel bad for her because she’s beautiful and that alienates her?
Say something positive about yourself
Sometimes it's good to be a little self indulgent for a while - share some things about yourself that you love!
It could be about your appearance, personality, talents, skills, traits etc, anything to make you feel good and to share some positive energy around.
anyone else get crushes too fast/too easy?
i fall in love way too easily, and way too fast..
i've kinda had a romance deprived life, and now i get crushes on people way too easily and fast and it makes me feel really odd, and of course ends in heartbreak every time because of how quickly it happens.
anyone else relate?
>Be me
>Have feels
WHY IS LIFE SO CRUEL, CAN’T I JUST BE LIKE DARIA
mfw
Someone got oniomania here?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_buying_disorder
> go to aliexpress
> order 8-10 useless pieces of shit for ~ $100-150
> wait 60 days
> recieve shit
> think "what kind of stuff i want" for a week
> order more shit
The most sad thing is if i won't do it on aliexpress i whould do it on weekly basis in local mall.
Online communtities
Does anyone feel like they can't fit in online communities? I'm thinking of regulating myself to a permanent lurker because every time I join an online community I can't get along with anyone. What's the point?
PTSD
Anybody else with PTSD here?
>How did you acquire it?
>How long has it been since the incident?
>How does it affect you?
>What's the worst part?
>How are you coping?
How can I be happy again?
>boss yells at me because he's a single 48 year old manchild with no children
>file an HR claim and get an attorney
>company sides with boss because they all suck each other's cocks (literally)
>get bumped down out of management to get me to shut up
>take a trade job to make up for it
>parents ask me why I like hanging out with greasy men all the time at work, as if I get a choice in this
I'm getting really close to fucking murdering everyone around me
catfish thread
tfw you catfished on tinder after sharing very personal information
have any of you miners been catfished? i also get ghosted a lot
EX HACKED ME HOW TO GET BACK AT HIM
as the title says im abou 99% certain my ex gained access to my fb through my old mail, fb security email showed me a ip location that i was able to track near his house and the machine that it was accessed was a mac and nobody else i know has a mac. There are just to many coincidances when u take in consideration that he was also obsesed with me.
What can i do now? I have gotten my account back but idk what he read or even if he saved some private photos? im open to all suggestions
Advice?
I’m teased a lot for being tall. I’m a good half foot taller than average dudes and I’m pretty sure I’ll never get a bf, and it doesn’t help that crippling anxiety stops me from being too confident either. Is there a point in trying? Anyone with a similar problem?
Dreams and wishes thread
Wanted to make a thread for us to write about stuff that we want. Could be:
- Attainable dreams
- Unrealistic dreams
- Stuff that you want for the long run, like a type of career, housing and moving plans, etc
- Stuff that you really just want right now, like a holiday, a cute set of clothings, food
- An imaginary setting in your head that you want and want to talk about, being it realistic or not, like imagine a life you wish you would have
And all the stuff in between, I guess.
Trips gets a handsome bf this year
Is it normal to never think about sex?
I had my first boyfriend. He was 22, I was 16, and I have had sex with him until I broke up with him when I turned 18. I'm european here so it's legal.
Since then I haven't engaged or wanted to engage in anything intimate or sexual, except making out with 1 guy at a bar last summer that led nowhere.
I've never wanted, had the desire to, or attempted to masturbate either. Sex is very nice in my opinion but only with another person.
I'm 21 now, is this normal?
How do you deal with getting older?
I'm looking in the mirror and seeing wrinkles all over my face. This makes me seriously depressed
Men only like thots and Stacies. Even if they treat them like shit. The rest of us will only be used and never truely loved no matter how hard we will try. They might settle with us but they'll secretly dream of thots or even cheat.
Have you ever had a boy totally oblivious to how much you liked him? Or how attractive he was?
All my female friends left me. The only ones left are males.
I don't understand why this happened. One of them despises me for my looks, hates me because her crush liked me, without me even talking to him. The other one left me for another friend. He ruined her personality I once loved.
Why do girls always leave other girls? It happens more often than not.
Self Defense & Security
How do you keep yourselves safe? Post advice and tricks in this thread.
help with a boy needed
>met a guy on discord in 2015
>befriend him
>slowly get closer
>flirt and talk about personal things
>he opens up to me
>we skirt around the topic of meeting up irl
>finally jump the gun last January
>tell him I like him
>he just apologizes for flirting with me
>ask if he wants to stay in touch
>he says he does
>never messages me
>ffw to late summer
>message him
>we talk a bit but he stops responding
>message asking him to let me know if he doesn't want to talk
>he says he wants to, asks me to message him whenever I want
>message him once after that
>no response
>wait a month, try again
>he seems to be happy to talk with me, opens up to me about his problems, says he will watch the movie I recommended and acts all nice
>then stops responding to my messages
>message him that I'm done with trying, ask him to contact me first if he wants to
>no response
I know is that he is a bit depressed and probably a bit autistic. I just miss talking with him. I don't know… should I message him with chrismas wishes? I feel so bad about all of this.
why do people stare
I suffered from a true hikkikomori period for all of 2017, but prior to this extreme I would not go anywhere except work and the store out of a tremendous anxiety of being in public and hating what I looked like. I grew up in a household where my appearance was ridiculed and attacked often, being called grotesque by one of my guardians and at one time punished for being fat, I am more aware at what has me feeling these ways in 2018.
2018 has been a big year for me because I began working again and started going outside. Part of what helped me overcome the fear was being high on benzos in the psychward and mingling with guys and girls there and having nowhere to hide for weeks. I haven't been on medication since but have tried to go outside more in 2018 but it's very difficult sometimes. I've made a lot of progress.
I keep having experiences lately that make me never want to leave the house again. Twice this past week I've caught a different woman intently staring at me. The first time was this quizzical and almost weirded out expression from this attractive older woman in her 30s, she was with her beautiful teenage daughter. I didn't know what the fuck she wanted, I was at self checkout and started to pay when I noticed her staring from the corner of my eye, I looked over and she took like 3 seconds to look away. I should be stronger but it ruined my day, I don't know if it was my hair being frizzy or what her problem was. I'm not overweight anymore and I dress very plainly. She didn't just glance, she was watching me like a hawk with that disgusted confused look on her face until I noticed her. I came home and couldn't stop looking at myself until I cried and moped the rest of the evening. I'm trying to get better about it but sometimes I feel so hideous like my self perception is a metronome.
Not even a week later today I caught another girl staring at me in almost the exact same location. This time I am not as upset because I didn't see her facial expression, I was in line and looking at my phone and noticed her looking over her shoulder back at me intently for like 5 seconds. As I was about to look up in order to make her stop her boyfriend put his arm around her and brought her forward, she quit looking with that. Was she judging me, admiring me, confused and disgusted like the woman earlier this week? I have no way of knowing because I didn't manage to look at her face. Once I got home I definitely feel ugly and this mirror is my worst enemy.
Why must people do this? Why are people like this? I give glances not stares. I was taught staring was rude and intrusive at a really young age. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. That first stare was completely against me and the second is a mystery. It's so hard for me to be confident and go outside and tell myself "nobody cares what you look like", and these people clearly do care. I take care of my skin and hair and hygiene, I do everything to look like a normal person when I go out. I can't imagine how many times someone has been staring without me noticing. I just want to know why they did so, I so badly want to know what it is that has them so interested good or bad.
A completely wasted girl came up to me in September and both complimented and insulted me, saying something like "look you're totally hot, but you're cutting your bangs too thick". It drives me nuts knowing we live in a world where people are constantly scanning others appearances and judging them. I'm so terrified of it all. I wasted so much of my early adulthood hiding and it's like all of my fears were completely true.
Post-gender-questioning Thread
A thread for feels/stories/thoughts from people who had experience with being gender-questioning but ultimately settled on either settling into identifying as female or shrugging off the whole effort altogether.
Gender became a hot topic in the years when I was a teen, specifically the narrative that you’re meant to be able to look inside yourself and find you identify with ~femaleness~ as a concept. Since I was already fairly atypical I took this as my sign that I was actually non-binary, but I never put tremendous effort into socially asserting that idea beyond mentioning it to my fairly open-minded friend group and buying some sports bras to mash my chest down.
I think one of the biggest pulls was secretly that the discourse around being nonbinary promised that I could escape predatory sexualization. In retrospect a lot of dysphoria was just me feeling repulsed by what I knew were parts of me that would be seen and understood in lewd ways that I had no interest in. The promise of being able to sidestep the massive amount of baggage that came with ~womanhood~ was very appealing, but I’ve since figured out that it’s just not that simple.
I find my boyfriend extremely boring.
I find my boyfriend extremely boring.
boring in a sense that all his interests are everyone’s interests, all his opinions are everyone’s opinions. I feel that who he is is based on the lowest common denominator of personality.
He’s a decent guy but that’s it, decent. He’s not horrible but he’s not great either. he’s just too normal.
I mean, I’m not the most interesting person myself but I have a personality. He just doesn’t.
I know it sounds so mean and I feel shitty for even thinking this but it really is what it is.
I still really love him but I can’t help but judge him for this. He feels like a robot that was programmed to be a person rather than be an actual person with his own thoughts, opinions, feelings, interests, and uniqueness. The things he does and thinks boils down to two things: what he learned from the bible or church and what most people do and think.
If you ask me honestly why I love him I can only say it’s be cause he’s not horrible to me. and that’s it.
He doesn’t understand me, he doesn’t understand anything that is out of the norm, he does’t have opinions on anything, we don’t have similar interests other than what everyone likes, and cause of that I feel this disconnect. He really feels like a robot. It’s like he’s the opposite of a soulmate. We just don’t match. And I’m just staying cause I know my lover doesn’t have to be my soulmate and I’m just in love. and I dunno love makes me disregard all of this despite it being a pretty big deal to me.
I’m no dynamic girl that needs someone on the same level but I just know the kind of person he is not for me.
I know most of you will probably just say that I should just break up but I really do love him. This issue just worries me cause if I can’t feel a connection with him maybe the future wouldn’t look so good for us.
But if I truly love him then I shouldn’t even see this as an issue right? so do I really love him him?? I don’t know!! If you love someone you can still be bothered by stuff about them right?? I don’t know!!
Tl;dr - My boyfriend is a lizard person what do I do
Story time
>Be me
>One of the lonely gfd anons
>Work full time at a family owned donut shop
>Gather all the unbought pastries at the end of the workday to transport to a nearby homeless shelter
>Begin walking with them outside
>Hear someone whistling what I think is Claire De Lune
>See a thin boy, looks around 19
>He has pretty green eyes and gorgeous orange fluffy hair with light streaks of blonde sprinkled about his cute little curled ends that go down all the way to the center of his chest
>He's 5'4''
>I put my hands to my mouth and let out, to say the very least, a not at all subtle gasp
>Drop all my pasted beauties in the process
>Create the kind of abstract art piece that would make Pollock proud, all over the sidewalk
>shit.jpg
Beautiful things make me sad
Summer, nice music, night walks, the countryside, everything that's pleasant and dreamy fills me with this heavy sense of isolation. I feel like an alien. I know this is isn't rare, so how do you cope?
reunited
We've never been together. It's always been a chase. We knew we will end up together but the time was never right. I was always in love with him. Deep down, doesn't matter how many relationships I had or how far away I moved, deep down I always knew.
I'm back in our hometown for xmas and we reunited. After about 4 years of not seeing each other. We changed so much, yet somehow ended up so similar it's insane. I went to his place last nights and he was wearing same nasa thsirt I had under my hoodie, ffs. Everything that should, aligns. Sexual chemistry is out of this world, but what we have has so many more layers than that. We played some MTG, sat in the window holding and caressing each other all night, kissed in a way I never thought is possible outside of my imagination. I can't convey it in text but damn, what we could have together… it wouldn't be just a perfect fit. It would be as fullfilling and perfect as it gets. Like, I need it with my soul. It feels so natural and right.
buut.
He has kids. he's not living with them, but he visits them couple of times a week. He's a good guy. I think it wouldn't be an issue if not the fact that he'll probably stay here in this city and I'm going back to where I live. It's 4 hours away, this could work. But then in a bit over a year I'm planning to move out of country again. Travel. Search the world for a place I decide do pick and call my own. And I know it won't be here. Yet he plans to visit and we already decided to go and see the mountains together soon. This moves so fast in the direction I wanted it to move for years, yet I feel like I should call quits. But I don't want to. I was in 3 long term relationships, yet I never felt emotions so intense.
this is hopeless. I know there's no way for this to work. I'm not gonna try. But now all I want to do is to spend another night in his arms. All these years I knew the time will come. Mybe a year in a future, maybe ten years. But I knew it will. How the hell do I deal with it?
what are the best things about being an adult?
Vent Thread
Old Thread >>12294
Get it off your chest.
worthless piece of shit thread
a thread for people who constantly fail at everything in life
i’m a culinary student and supposed to be taking a final exam for my baking class right now but instead i’m in the student lounge crying hysterically because a little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me i’m horrible at baking and should drop out of school because i never succeed at anything
i already failed 3 classes here because of this, and it’ll be the 3rd time i flunked out of school
should i just kms at this point? i dont know why i’m like this and how to stop being a pussy and just fucking pass school like a normal person
About 3 years ago in my last year of high school I fell out with one of my best friends and I really regret it now. Should I bother apologizing or is it too late?
>order kfc for the first time in several months
>quickly eat the wing wings with gusto
>20 minutes later you feel something is wrong
>you puke to the toilet
>genuinely cry after this because you are hungry again and 35zł is wasted (I'm from poland)
Fuck; _; an extreme poor person here
finally I could afford something a bit luxurious but fuck me, it never rains but it pours
Old flames
Do you have any old flames? Someone you were going to get with but didn't? Someone you didn't realize was an option until it was too late?
Tell your stories.
Why am I so attracted to men when they display some desire to be beaten sexually? I don't have any interest in hurting anyone and I think it would probably be very offputting, but when a guy, even one I'm not attracted to generally like pics related expresses that they're a masochist they suddenly become hot to me. What's wrong with me? Do I have some kind of problem?
Am I the only fucking person that doesn't have a "shitty ex bf"
Like seriously what the fuck, I was talking to my friends the other day and all four of them had stories about emotionally or physically abusive boyfriends that they had stayed with for long amounts of time, I then started looking online and asking about and apparently this is really common.
I had no Idea this was a major thing outside of films and tv, no wonder guys talk about how "nice guys finish last" etc; they're all dealing with or getting rejected by girls with trauma from getting beaten up and cheated on.
Anyone have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
I've been feeling really really out of the ordinary. I'm usually a pretty positive person, at least I can always think of something to do if I'm bored or if someone needs a laugh.
Lately, though, I've not wanted to do anything. I don't want to go get coffee and write. I don't want to exercise. I do want to sleep a lot. It's almost as though I can't control it. I just need like 3-4 extra hours of sleep and i still don't really feel good, but I can function. I can't seem to focus. I hate everyone, including myself. I've been wishing i could just cease to exist. Sometimes i feel like crying, but I can't.
It's really confusing, because this isn't at all how I normally am. I made an appointment with my doctor, but wanted to get other's thoughts.
Are any of you cuckqueans? I’m not into it but I want to hear some stuff from those who are into it. Is it just a fantasy or do some of you also actually practice it?
NOT TRYING TO START A PORN DISCUSSION
I posted pic related because it’s applicable and I think it’s funny.
Long Distance Relationship Advice
My boyfriend is getting deployed, and I was looking for advice from other people in long distance relationships and how to stay sane.
Does depression ever go away?
RE: EX CONTACTED ME, HELP= Resolved.
I told him goodbye.
I told him that his dependency was stopping him from moving on from me,that continuing any contact, anything at all would cause nothing but the same results, that you cannot piece back together something one (myself. and him soon enough.) has moved on from, even if you are a new person instead of the past, he still switches and moves to many and others, it would be and is unhealthy, and must end, with anything related to it whatsoever, and in general.
he said goodbye to sleep, I told him to regulate his sleeping schedule, to sleep well.
and goodbye.
I feel ethereal, this was a good choice.
I felt the trauma in the moment,i ended my first love, finally. My fingertips shaking over the enter button, it was 11:59 am, I did it yesterday. I gave him a final paragraph, telling him to find himself ,love himself,and to learn how to have control over himself, and that I hope he can make himself as happy as he says I have ever made him.
it was 11:59AM, i felt regret before clicking the enter button,I shriveled over it. I inhaled, felt my heartbeat,and exhaled, it was done.I sent it, I unfriended him.
Once I clicked it, I felt bliss.
I am in bliss.
I am bliss.
>anon has achieved peace in acceptance of things in her life, and a final acceptance on a note in her past, she put the note in the closed chapters in her past, and she continues on wards, with herself. Sometimes, when anon is stressed, while it may seem heated and full of confusion with her confliction of feelings, or debates, or even a sting of bad feelings/gut feelings in the moment, peace will arise soon, in any situation and anything whatsoever. Anon is happy with her choices, and now she lives in peace.
I've made peace and I've moved on. The past is but closed chapters in my past, and I am onto many new chapters in my life. I am happy.
I am a strong, loving, lovely, smart, beautiful woman, and I love myself.
I have control in my life, and over myself.
I am happy, and so is my life. I am happy.
I am happy.
I am bliss.
and the world is bliss too.
I am happy.
That was my update on that, and goodbye.
To Everything, Turn, Turn, Turn
>December 1st, 2018
>reply to someone here who posts something I think is interesting and is looking for a conversation
>she never responds
Why does this keep happening?
How do you get to know a boy more when you're interested in them bit still just barely friends with them?
This is a bit of a sequel to a thread I previously made, asking whether or not a guy calling me a gem/sweetheart meant he was interested in me.
>>15115
I sent him a follow request on Instagram, he accepted it and followed me back, he seemed happy to talk to me. He responds to all of my story posts with responses enabled but it's just with one word that's a nickname for me.
I convinced myself he hated me and I should leave him alone after I messaged him saying I hoped he had a good day and instead of responding he just liked the message but after he did the one word thing again today I snapped out of it.
He seems like my kind of guy - Not a chad, nice to me, and has made a few jokes about wanting to die. I would have trouble with someone who was 100% normie emotionally that I couldn't relate with.
So.. How do I approach this? Should I just try sending him a meme once or twice? I'm very shy and awkward so a basic thing like messaging him to ask how his day went isn't my best option.
Ex confessed his love to me after a few months, ladies I need HELP.
I’ve had an ex in the past, we dated for a year and broke up to due to both of us being abusive to eachother, and abused, as well as a lot of past drama involved online.
It was long distance and it still is.
Recently, after 4 months he messaged my friend asking if everyone’s ok, and that if anyone wants to talk to him to make amends, he’s there.
My friend said
>”oh anon dosent hate you at all by the way”
In which I don’t, and he responded saying that’s good and all..
I wanted to make amends so I told him to add me back on social media, we talked things out and both agreed we were abusive and the abusers to eachother in the past, and recently he left a bunch of friends over stuff as well (as an add on.)
I’ve changed, I’m not the girl I was in my past, I’m a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman.
We’ve both changed overtime, yes,
We agreed to call after he said he was really happy talking to me again, and that he missed me and such. Once in call, I asked him as of why he’s feeling the things he does.
I asked him.
“Do you just feel the same way as you did before minus all the negativity we faced?”
And he agreed,
I asked him to clarify and well, he still loves me and wishes to have that,
I told him I’d give it a week, a week to introduce ourselves as new people, since well, we are new people.
I told him I’m not getting into a relationship, that we’d talk for a week, and continue on for weeks, and see how it goes there.
Ladies, I don’t know what to do.
Some of my friends dislike him, some are neutral.
I told him to clarify his thoughts so he’s not just shoving words down his throat, and that it’s him talking, not what I believed. (Basically telling him that what I said is what I think he feels, and that he needs to explain for himself since he has a hard time explaining things on his own.)
What do I do here? Cut him off? See how it goes? We’d be talking for a week as if we’ve never met, to reintroduce, and get to know eachother all over again, since well, we are new people.
He said he loves me, and he fell asleep in call.
He said my voice makes him feel calm, and everything of the sort.
That I make him happy, that he’s been extremely dead these past 4 months, and he hasn’t felt real happiness ever since he’s spoken to me, and now.
I told him he needs to love himself before he can love another, and he agrees, as I think he does, I also believe he’s extremely dependent which I gave him advice on.
We had a lot of drama and such in the past,
I don’t regret anything that happened, I wouldn’t be the person I am now.
But ladies.. what do you guys think I should do? Is this a bad sign? Is this a possibility? I don’t know if my gut is telling me it’s right or wrong, but I feel worried either sides of our friends can’t know, so we haven’t told them that we are talking. Though, I do have anxiety right now by all of it.
So yeah.. ladies, what’s your thoughts?
I just need more words on it that aren’t my own.
I do believe we’ve changed though, that I’ve changed as a person completely, hell yes. And I think he’s changed too in a way, somewhat, I’m not sure. Hence why I said to give it a week of reintroductions, as we are new people, etc.
So what do, ladies?
Secrets & Confessions
Spill 'em girls.
Lesbian thread - no bisexuals allowed edition
I decided to make this thread because the other one is filled with complaints and bisexuals derailing.
Post away!
Feel free to delete this thread if inappropriate or if keeping two threads seems like too much. I suggest that the other stays active so bis can keep posting on the topic too!
Height in guys
I recently got to know an 8/10 guy. He's really cute, but he's only like 5'6 and im 5'8. Idk how to feel about this. He's hot but it might be weird?
What do you think of height in guys?
Would you date someone 1 or 2 inches shorter than you? If not, what if he's an 8-9/10?
Pic only for attention
Torn between two worlds
So I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and I don’t know what to do so I’m coming here to ask you guys. I’m in highschool and last year I transferred to another school for an arts program I auditioned for. The school is across town from me and sort of the rival school of my old highschool. I wasn’t in the right mindset when I auditioned and I was just looking for a fresh start away from all the “fake people” I had been with since kindergarten. I thought that maybe at this new school I could get a new start new reputation and new friends. I also had two friends I already knew that were going to transfer to this school too. I’m three months into this new school and I realized that the friends that made me autition for this school with them are actually fake friends. They knew nobody at this school just like me yet they hurt me and embarrass me infront of all of the people I’m trying to become friends with just so that they can be friends with them. I have exactly zero friends now and I feel so much social anxiety because I feel invisible at this school. I still talk to some of My friends from my old highschool but I never hangout with them because our schools have different schedules. I see their stories and social media of them having stupid fun like when we were in elementary school together and I miss it so much. I miss them so much. I really want to transfer back to that school next year but I feel like nobody will remember me and I’ll be in the same position I am now. Also it will mess with my corses because I am currently taking a specialized course for preforming arts. So should I stay at this school and suck it up or switch schools again?
sexual trauma/rape
I was raped back in 2010 when I was 13 by a assistant teacher.
Stayed back to help him since it was his last day at the school till next year,got late,offered to drive me home and yeah raped me.
I just wanted to get that out but it still feels like it's weighing me down
Has anyone on here whose been assaulted told anyone?
How was their reaction?
Am I wrong for owning guns?
Hey all. What is your opinion on being a cute girl into owning guns? Am I bad for wanting firepower?
Workplace Harassment
Who else has been harassed by men or otherwise been put in an uncomfortable situation at work?
Yesterday the assistant manager at my new retail job caught me upstairs crying because a much older male cowoker (I’m 20 and he’s like 65) told me I looked like I “packed on some pounds” while eyeing my ass, then put his hands on my shoulders, lightly massaging me and saying “lighten up sweetheart” when I became visibly upset. The general manager was sent an Email about it and according to him, the creepy old guy is apparently a routine offender, making inappropriate comments toward women and touching them but despite supposedly facing disciplinary action after each one he hasn’t changed his ways. The GM told me today he’ll be facing serious consequences but wouldn’t specify what those consequences will be, hopefully termination.
What would you do if you found out a potential bf did this? How would you feel if you found out your son did this?
Childhood abuse
So, something weird happened.
My therapist finally got me to acknowledge the possibility(!) that I was abused as a child.
It didn't even go with shock and horror for me, but rather peaceful. Before, I went through an intense period of being disgusted by myself and of course my everlasting depression.
Now everything makes so much more sense. All the little fucked up things that I did, or that happend to me, or that my parents did.
Finally I can function freely. Finally, when asked what's up, I do not get back to the ground level of "I don't know" that has been permeating my entire life.
Finally, the things I say and do are not coming off like I was pretending something, or hiding behind a mask.
I feel free now. And I act better. Things in my life, actually my entire life, seemed to have changed for the better the instant I acknowledged it. I am finally peaceful now.
I'm just a little bit sick at my parents and, still, I don't know anything for sure. It's an assumption now, but it feels pretty good.
Am I wasting my time?
I'm a third year in uni crushing on a fourth year. I personally think we're very compatible, we've become pretty good friends and I'm really into him.
However he seems to have been dumped within the past 6 months and seems to still be hung on his ex.
I feel that I'm circumstantially friendzoned here and no matter how compatible we may or may not be, he probably won't ever see me as anything more than a friend because of possible lingering feelings towards his ex, as well as being in a place where he probably doesn't want to date anytime soon.
I don't know whether I should just give him time and see if he does ever see me as more than a friend or if I should stop trying.
Where do I go to get an e-bf who's pure like me?
All I see are frat boys who just want to "chill".
i'm alone in my room, crying at 2am because my life is a mess. i met a guy on the internet 2 years ago, we started dating and he was being nice to me but then turned into an obnixious human-being. i really fell in love with him, i don't know why. i wasted the best years of my life. i was 16 when i first met him, and i decided to leave all of my friends behind, i only wanted to spend time with him. he told me he was depressed and didn't wanna go outside. which made sense, because i never really liked going outside either. i didn't like being social. this year was horrible. he would change his profile pic to a random cute girl, i think he was only doing that to make me jealous. but i didn't get jealous. i just felt really ugly. so i told him that he should stop doing that because we're in a relationship. (he knows i have self-esteem issues) he said i'm overreacting. then i said "yeah maybe you're right, after all it's just a profile picture" but then he did the same thing again. i felt like i was being used. then i found out that he talks about "cute girls" with his friends. which pissed me off. and i asked him why he was doing that, he said he loves me and not other girls. he was just talking about how "cute" they are. he said "cute girls exist too, you know" then i told him that if he does it again, i'll break up with him. but of course, he didn't give a fuck. he said he would change. (he didn't) the thing that pissed me off the most was when we were talking about religions, (i don't believe in god or anything, and he doesn't either) he said i would enjoy it if "muslim men" touched me. -i broke up with him after he said that- then we got back together because he apologised and said he didn't mean it, he was just "joking". whenever he gets mad he calls me bad names. last week, i was talking about the new hoop earrings i bought. he called me a whore and said "i can date multiple men if i want" because hoop earrings are for hoes. i fucking hate him so much. he told me he's sorry and that he's going to change. but i don't believe him. he said he's going to kill himself soon because he has no purpose in life. and he doesn't want to lose me. i feel so confused and i don't know what to do. i blocked him on discord and telegram. what else can i do? i just want to forget him but i can't. he was completely different when i met him. he would make me so happy, i remember feeling "butterflies" in my stomach, i thought he was the one. i guess i was wrong. my heart hurts. i just wanna be happy again. should i give him a chance or leave everything behind?
Do straight guys ever act nice to girls when they’re NOT trying to get laid (or get something else from them, but usually it’s sex)? I even mean just being friendly, but especially when they’re being seriously helpful, kind, chatty, understanding etc. Can you have male friends who aren’t just looking for sex?
Conversely, have you ever been nice to someone (to whatever extent) just because you thought they were attractive? Is your personality different when dealing with attractive people?
Typical boy troubles
So there’s this guy that I really like because we are kinda like “two peas in a pod” (god that’s cringey but I can’t think of any other way to say that) We say the same jokes or he says whatever I was thinking and I just love talking to him and I talk with him 24/7. I think he may have feelings for me but in the past I’ve really messed up friendships by dating and I don’t want to push him out of my life. One of my best friends seems to have feelings for him and I’m worried that if I don’t make a move or something she’ll end up dating him. I feel kinda selfish for not wanting her to date him when I won’t but I can’t help but feel jealous when she flirts with him. Also, I don’t just want to boldly assume that he has feelings for me. Any advice? Should I just stick with being his friend?
Where do you even meet hot guys? Where do hot guys go? I literally know zero hot guys.
What do you miners do when you see a really attractive man? What would you do if one you didn’t know asked to borrow your pen or notes at uni or something?
I may be getting married soon
I'm 28 years old. Recently my long-term boyfriend (of seven years) has been talking seriously about marriage. I'm really happy. I want to get married and have children and, Fuck it, I honestly with all my heart want a cute family with 2.5 children, a dog, and a picket fence.
We are both from different countries, and have been talking about where we want to have the religious ceremony. I have absolutely no friends to invite. I have one friend from high school whom I'd invite often ceremony was in my country, but she didn't invite me to her own wedding afew years ago (we fell out of touch, completely my own fault).
I'm drunk, but… I'm not the only one, right? There's even a movie or guys about this.
Also, I didn't get a proposition or anything (We've even lived together most if the time we've dated, but I think he's waiting to "ask" my dad. Both my parents live him as nf want us to get married and make babies so I know it won't be a problem).
Honestly, I guess I just want to share my excitement with someone–But like I said, I don't have any friends.
I'm going to get married!
I don't have friends here and I don't have anyone to tell the good news, so I decided to tell you girls. I've been here since the start so I'd like to share this happiness with you girls. I hope all of you can find a SO if that's what you want, and if you already have one, that you can be very happy together.
warm cold weather feels
It snowed yesterday and the snow had me in a mood to wrap myself up in my comforter and to just watch the snow fall from the window. I wonder if we can have a comfy cold weather thread…
Let's discuss being warm physically and emotionally when it's cold outside! Post your warm feelings about the cold weather, winter, and/or the holiday season! Fav thing to do in the cold weather? What's your fav warm meal/drink? Fav things to wear? How do you stay warm?
I'm stuck
how do I tell if I have BPD or if I'm just unhappy with my relationship? I feel like I want out so badly but at the same time I sabotage all my attempts to break up and try to convince myself that we are good and the only reason why I feel so frustrated with him most of the days is because I'm broken
why am i like this
my ex of two years got a new girlfriend in feb (i only found this by breaking no contact and going on his facebook page) and i'm so angry and upset
jesus fucking christ i'm pathetic
Ethical question
if someone you know is cheating on their significant other or spouse would you alert them ? one of my former friends is cheating on their spouse and has told me she is with them only for financial reasons. i've kept it a secret but i feel so bad about that. we aren't friends anymore and i feel like i need to be ethical about this situation and tell their partner. what would you do if ou were me? As a side note, I've never met the guy she's cheating on the husband with, but for what she has told me he's very abusive towards her and yet she's planning to wait until she can sue her husband for alimony so she has the money to get this other guy to where she lives and live off her husband's salary. I think it is disgusting but should I get involved since we aren't friends anymore? i haven't told her husband yet but i'm preparing to do it
Why can't I find a bf who is into anal?
Does anyone else have this problem?
/sad/
I've been trying really hard to stay clean, responsible, and kind but I feel like no matter how hard I work to be the best me I can be, it'll never be enough for someone to love me in the way I want.
Any samefeelanons or advice…?
hate how guy/girl friendships r rare
anyone in college and found it super difficult to make friends because it's like a horrid pattern of, a guy will "be friends" with you, but then when they learn you aren't interested in dating them, they bail? I feel incredibly worthless and I know I am not, but it's gotten to a point where I feel futile in my effots to keep friends. Currently i've made friends with a gay couple, but gays…they have this way of making everything about them? like they don't care that much about what a girl experiences, which is understandable, but it still sucks.
I'm in a STEM field so that's why it's difficult to find girl friends.
also, i feel super ashamed of myself because i used to date guys just so i could still be friends with them, even though i'm not even attracted to men whatsoever. i hate myself
pic related because I wish I was doing this on purpose but i'm not. guys give me shit for not telling them sooner that I'm not "into" them but like, when the fuck is it appropiate to tell you i don't want to date you? that's rude as hell to just be like "btw, i'm fine with us being friends, but no more than that".
YOUR BOYFRIEND GAVE ME THIS T SHIRT
Her shirts says “YOUR BOYFRIEND GAVE ME THIS T SHIRT”. Do you think that’s rude? Would seeing someone with that shirt upset you? On the one hand it reminds me of that I’ve never had a bf, but on the other hand it makes me happy because the shirt assumes I have a bf which gives me hope that I can be normal and have a bf.
me and a good friend are crushing on the same guy, help?
both a good friend and I have feelings for this one guy, who I'm pretty sure is oblivious that we're both trying to subtly flirt with him. my friend and I have already talked about it and decided that whatever happens, we won't let a guy ruin our friendship. however, I'm scared that regardless of our promise, things might turn ugly, simply because she is a very emotional and sentimental person in general, regardless of whether one of us ends up with him or neither. she's giving me the feeling that she might feel jealousy when I'm talking to him in social situations, even though she says she's fine. I've also assured her that I would be happy for her if she ends up with him because she's still my friend and her happiness is just as important, although I can't really predict that I will be 100% okay if it does happen. has anyone been in a similar situation and how did it end between the friends and the guy? any advice?
What do I do? I just need a quick "Itll be okay" or advice or something.
I feel so anxious and horrible and I just want everything to be okay.
A while back I was involved in a community, and there was one person who was a bit notorious for being bad to people/a bit nasty but I sympathized with them and befriended them. Eventually things singled out and now they're my only friend from that community. They never really did anything to me until recently.
They held a suspicion I was plotting against them with another person from the community and requested that I screenshared my private messages with them to prove I hadn't been. I wasn't ok with that and this lead to a big argument with them threatening to report my account/get it taken down if I didn't. I cracked because my account is dear to me. They promised that this would be the last thing. I was ok with it because I was innocent anyway. We did it and everything was fine again.
After that, some time, they told me they found my address through my IP. I know that usually its very very uncommon for that to happen which is some reassurance right now but there is a possibility which is scaring me like crazy. Recently the suspicion sparked back up again for whatever reason and they wanted something else, that had a lot more information. I refused to give it to them pretty much. Now they told me that they could spread my dox and tell my school/parents/neighbours about the inappropriate things I've done. I am just so petrified. I don't know if I should just delete my accounts/uninstall the app and hope they never find a way to contact me again.. But what if they do actually have my address? What if they contact me through some other means like my parents or my school or something? I don't know what to do. I feel so stuck and trapped. They have my phone number but they can't call it unless they get someone else to do it/get a fake number because my plan doesn't cover international calls.
I really really really don't know what to do. I have indeed done 'inappropriate' things but they don't have my nudes, but they may or may not be able to get me suspended from school/in trouble with my parents if they tried.
I just want this to be over. I hate feeling so trapped. pls help/give advice.
I really really can't just tell my parents this is happening since we're already on bad terms and they would take everything away from me if they found out.
It’s early in the morning and shit just went down.. im tired, anybody else?
>tfw you get messaged that you were blocked by your bf was because he wanted to run off to another girl, but instead of telling the truth he makes up an entire jumanji game with him being the protag, telling me he loves me and that he wants a future and for me to wait for him when he comes back from his adventure, and then gets all of his friends to lie about it too.
>mfw I don’t even care that much because I already had conflicting feelings at the start
>mfw he tells me to find a man who can give the future I want for me, despite him making multiple claims and promises that he is that guy and I should stay with him and allow myself to be so vulnerable around him
>mfw he leaves me on read,
>mfw I called a suicide hotline from panicking and crying so much yesterday because of the lie he presented me, making me think he still loves me and that “he’ll be back..right?”
>mfw my first relationship
>mfw makes a game that he’s basically going to save the world with his elite skills and ends up making all of this shit up, with his friends who talked to me yesterday telling me everything is gonna be ok
>”I think you are really good for him, anon”
>”you are a wonderful person,anon”
>mfw I spent all this time worrying about him, buying him gifts, having him visit me,
Paying for his transportation (I’m in eu he’s in us)
>mfw I told him my abandonment issues, he says he would never do anything of the sort and that he’s the one for me
>mfw he ends up having me wake up to a message of him claiming love for me, saying he’ll be back in days,weeks,months,years, and that I should just wait for him
>mfw he tells me to trust him
>”trust me, ok anon? Ill be back, I love you.”
>be me
>Early in the morning, sitting on the floor
>phone in hand, rereading the messages he sent me
>have comfort rain sounds playing on my phone from a server of mine
>it’s quiet, it’s snowing outside
>all the stories I have written about him, being the hopeless romantic I am, playing in my mind
>the journal I painted and wished to give him, in my closet
>it’s quiet
Am I living to be lied to and taken adavntage of at this point or what LOL.
>asked for sexual intimacy the first month of being together, already speculated fucked shit was going to happen but I pushed it aside as my “oh it’s just anxiety” and went through
I just do not care anymore.
Matter of fact, how do I even respond to this situation? He’s a couple years older than me too. Mf, it’s like hes 12 or something
Should I expect all relationships to be like this? Is there something wrong with me?
Am I just unloveable? Is it just my fault this happened? Is everything just my fault?
I’m sorry if this comes off fucked up it’s like one of my first times using this site.. and I just need to yell, man
I feel so bad
>know bfs password on social media
>he doesn't text a lot of people so it was easy to scroll through old messages
>found out some messages with one of his good friends talking about how they would like to fuck a girl they know
>they rate other girls
>those messages were just a month before we started dating
How should I feel?
Anyone here doesn't talk to their parents?
>Do you have a fucked up relationship with your mom/dad or both? Why?
>How do you get over it?
It sucks knowing most people have a normal relationship with their parents but I don't
Grudges
Do you hold grudges? Is it really a petty thing, or just hard to "forgive and forget"? Do you say you're "over" something but not really?
I would say I'm pretty forgiving, but still feel bitter about some stuff from the past. Tell me your thoughts anons!
eating disorder thread
eating disorder thread - its time for another
do you have an eating disorder?
which one?
are you attempting recovery?
how long have you had it?
what caused it?
how does it disrupt your daily life, if it does?
i have a purging disorder.
i kind of want to attempt recovery sometimes, then i see something like my crush looking happier talking to another girl thats skinnier than me, i think about how much better i could look/how i could compensate for my stupid ugly fact, and i think about the comments my dad gives me when i 'eat bad' even though im 19 bmi/skinnier than him (hes overweight, i think.) ive had mine since i was 13. i was a fat child growing up because my parents didnt know how to feed me, and instead of giving me healthy food they just called me fat/made fun of me. it disrupts my daily life heavily because i cant eat anything without purging after, and it just ruins my mood and has disrupted my health. ill be devastated if i go up 0.1 a pound
Have you ever had a friend who was a really bad influence on you?
>tfw no bf
it's not fair
Vent Thread
Old thread: >>8291
Last one reaches autosage status.
Vent your heart out, anons.
ugh
I know this might sound dumb but this is just some bs that I wanted to spill and vent about… so there is dude in my class and I found out that we have mutual friends and so at first i felt like i should just approach the guy and make a new friend but honestly thats hard af and its difficult to approach him and he doesn't seem to be very friendly to be real BUT he stares at me constantly and I can feel his attention on me in class… my friends and him work together and they tell me he has asked about me… and then it became really weird when one of my friends told me out of nowhere that they told him what I had said about him and it made him really upset and now he thinks i talk shit about him even though thats not true at all and i wasn't i was just saying how it is… i wasn't cool with my friend exposing that information and it was unclear as to how that was brought forth… and now it just brought on more intensity when im in class and its just draining and annoying and I am clear with my body language that i don't care that he's there or what he thinks but he won't stop looking at me and im just confused af
Boyfriend is mad at
So some years ago I was kind of very open, I kissed a lot of guys, sent my nudes to guys over the internet, even gave a bj to a friend while drunk.
My bf thought I hadnt done any of those things, as we were still virgins when we met, then I confessed to him everything i've done and he feels "repulsed".
He says that he had no prior experience before knowing me, not even kissing a girl, and that its unfair for him.
What should I do?
Girl crushes
Post your 3D waifus
last friend to be single
Are any of you anons the last (or were the last for those with bfs/gfs) of your friends to be single?
How does it feel for you to be the last of your friends to be single?
Have your friends tried to set you up with someone?
ITT: we post stupid problems that not many will share and may or may not be only in our heads
I can't stand looking at my face and wish I could cut it off and replace it. Don't even think it looks that bad, I'm just tired of looking at it. I don't allow candid pictures for this reason.
Stereotypes and accents
>tfw british but without a posh accent
>tfw I am stereotypes as a rude, incredibly ugly, alcoholic "slag" by foreigners
>tfw I once posted a vocaroo online and the whole thread started saying that I probably looked like pic related and laughed at me
does anyone else suffer from bad stereotypes?
All of the anti-Jew posts make me feel pretty insecure. Even the ((())) from /pol/ that have been spreading everywhere. Am I just letting the memes get to me?
Black and mixed girls of cc, do online racial posts make you feel like other people don't like you because of your race, or do you mostly ignore them as a joke?
INSECURITIES thread
Post about your biggest insecurities.
>in romantic relationships, etc.
How have you gotten over some of them?
Have your significant others had insecurities?
Getting complimented by strangers
I know this is going to sound like humblebragging, but after my friends told me this isn't normal I had to ask.
Do any of you get complimented by strangers in public?
Sometimes people will even get up from their meals to compliment me. My friends play a game where they count how many people stare at me in public. However, I never have guys at my college hit on me, and I've only had one boyfriend (in highschool). When I look at myself I see someone who's average- I'm definitely not ugly, but I'm definitely not model-tier.
I also compliment other girls in passing, so I always thought it was a normal occurence. My friends are definitely pretty, probably even more than me- they actually wear makeup (eyeshadow, fake lashes, lipstick, contour, etc) while I'm definitely not talented in that area at all. Maybe it's because they look traditionally hispanic or American, and I'm eastern European?
Mixed/Biracial Thread
Probably going to cause drama because people can't just let others have things but is anyone else here biracial/mixed?
I thought it would be a nice place to post stories, ventings for dealing with family or others, etc. I feel like people are maybe going to say to go to Tumblr but that site not only doesn't really promote discussion but despite what they project they're not friendly towards mixed people at all. Just interracial dating to "stick it to white people". I also feel like a lot of them are american because they think mixed means white and black.
Why is my height always making me unhappy?
I'm a 5'10 girl and I like a guy that hates tall girls. Do I just forget about him or can I do something about this?
He's super tall by the way.
How to handle breaking up with someone
Is it wrong to dump someone by just blocking them and never speaking to them since? I've broken up with a person before, but it's been so long that I forget how I dumped them. I remember I had to try a few times and it was a month long process until all contact was broken, really.
Basically, I want to break up with someone who's shit I've had enough of. I'm afraid I'll back down, though. I seriously am done with them….it has probably been over a year on here since I've talked on and off about their abusive behavior and although I've had many good experiences with them, overall they're still shit even if they aren't as extreme as they used to be.
So how do I go about this? Is blocking and pretending they don't exist the most childish, immature way out of this? Do I have to talk to them one on one? Is a phone call sufficient? How do I ensure we are really done with each other?
(no, this unfortunately isn't troll/bait)
i am so sick of being physically and emotionally lonely and tfw no irl bf that i'm considering going "slutty" just to finally stop being so lonely (i haven't ever kissed anyone and i never wear shorts or tank tops or ever show cleavage right now)
i just cant get anyone to like me right now
i got rejected at school by a guy in front of his friends and a girl passingly said to me that i should just try talking to -specific name of guy- since hes the horniest guy in school and i was repulsed at the thought of just dating someone because theyre horny and desperate but over the weekend i started thinking about how its better than nothing
These days when I see someone being willfully ignorant, I get angry and worked up for a short while but very soon that turns into a feeling of exhaustion. I'm so tired of arguing all the time. Could this be my depression and mental health taking a toll on me?
What’s it like to be a Stacy? How did Stacy treat you in HS?
When was the last time you fell in love anon? What was it like? How did it end?
Everyone at school hates me and I don’t know why
Give some reasons why you might hate a girl despite never talking to or only briefly speaking to her
Is Femcelism purely a matter of the mind? When I look at famous femceld like pic related or that youtube girl who deleted all her stuff (I’ll post her pic) I see quite beautiful women. I don’t think I’m that pretty but tbh I see uglier girls with bfs. Do you feel you’re undateably ugly? Do you feel like you’re good looking and deserve a qt bf?
Is it me or do young hot guys only date women much older than them these days? Usually rich ladies too.
I am so alone and pathetic
Friendship isn't real and at best I am a social filler until someone more interesting/fashionable/beneficial comes along(who then would become invisible if an even more superior being came along).
I've been hurt very badly yet the feelings of loneliness keep making friendship seem appeasing. Every experience since puberty tells me friendship isn't real. It exists in the anime I watch, but that anime is consumed by lonely rejects that will be abandoned by their e-friends the moment a superior social contact comes along. The only thing that bonds these friendships together is a lack of superior alternatives.
In middle school I lost most of my friends because I wasn't cool to be seen with. A few years later I lost the remainder, and sat with my group of vicious losers where we talked about hating everyone each day, but they used me as a verbal punching bag.
I try to show interest in people and validate them and truly listen, yet I'm always forgotten and replaced. Especially in the era of the internet we're so easily forgotten. In every online community I've never been able to become part of the group, I'm at best sitting on the social periphery and mostly ignored and at worst I get outright attacked by core members who obviously want me gone.
I thought I made an irl friend this year and I must have messed it all up. I went shopping with someone for the very first time in my adult life, she had done it a million times so she had no idea how much it meant to me. An anon here urged me that I needed to share more about myself to her, yet when I tried it was ignored. And then I became nearly invisible when I was a few months away from moving and she quit eating lunch with me. During my last week at work and right after our lunch break this other girl went into extreme detail about the lunch she had with this once friend of mine, and I repeated a mantra in my head that it was okay but pathetically erupted into tears 10 minutes later and nobody had any idea what I was crying about. After I was gone she texted me "bye anon I'll miss you!!!" and I responded "doubt it", after this she said "believe what you want but I really will miss you" she told me to show her a picture of my cat at my dad's house(a plan we formed months prior, the place I was moving to), I told her something really mean because I wanted her to leave me alone and hopefully have her feelings hurt at least a fraction of how mine had. I regret it, I wanted her to cry or something. But it's not like she knew that showering me with friendship and then withdrawing it shortly after would hurt me, these people have so much success with others they don't even know what it feels like. She said the words "I only have 10 friends", she couldn't have dreamed a possibility up that I was affected. I wasn't owed her friendship, but it made me mad that as I stopped existing she would still go "anon we're matching! :3" and ruin my day. That entire time after her withdrawal I'd do my best to put on a mask of indifference but I was in a lot of pain every single day at work, and was counting the days until I'd never see her again.
There is undoubtedly something wrong with me. I initially do very well with people, people irl and online call me one of the funniest girls they know and tell me I'm interesting or know a lot of stuff. Yet I'll never be a core friend, I'm always in some back seat to be discarded. I want a best friend so badly. I became invisible to the e-friend that once called me her best friend as well. I am 26 years old and have 1 e friend, who is emotionally distant and called me "neurotically compassionate" but still values me and doesn't seem like she will grow tired of me. I'm in an e-relationship and we're going to meet next year and we love each other. I feel pathetic for this. I am trying to make more friends.
I tried tinder this summer because I wanted a bf, but anon was right when she said that it would only hurt my feelings. I thought I hit the jackpot when I met a 6'4 guy who was cute in the face and slender and played runescape, he took me out and made me feel so special, but then I quit existing to him. I had butterflies for weeks after that date, and was so proud of myself for being brave. Maybe it was because I looked so low status but he admitted he wanted me to do perverted stuff that I had no interested in doing like fingering him and he wanted us to get a strap on, I was so desperate I said yes although it was killing me inside. And even saying yes to this he had some excuse every time I invited him over to my apartment. He probably found someone cuter and smarter.
I was pretending to be a male incel online and was getting quite good at it, but even that community began to hurt my feelings. I was putting all of my emotion towards the girls who have hurt me through friendship over the years into it and it worked quite well.
I wish I could die. I don't even have any family to fill this void except my autistic senile father who has nothing to talk about except a few subjects he keeps on rotation. And I have to step on eggshells talking to him because one wrong move and he has this sperg meltdown and shouts at me, so I'm mostly restricted to nodding and going "uh-huh".
Whenever someone happy and successful and beautiful dies or gets attacked with acid by a crazy ex, part of me gets a kick out of her perfect life being ruined and her perfect family being devastated, but another part wishes I could take her place because my life is the one that shouldn't go on. I only get some sense of schadenfreude from it because I'm deeply envious, I don't like being this way, I deeply crave to be the normie and would sell my soul to have it.
saw a friend get harrassed, didn't intervene and feel guilty/weird
Please help – was I in the wrong? What can I do to help now?
Last night I went over to two new male friends' place to drink and chill. One was especially drunk once I got there (Drunk Guy) – already slurring and difficulty walking. I was drinking too. The one dude who was already drunk kept drinking and getting increasingly cuddlier with the other guy (Chill Guy). Cuddling turned to hair petting/neck rubs, to then Drunk Guy laying on Chill Guy's lap and eventually trying to kiss his cheek and grab his crotch. Chill Guy seemed OK with the cuddling at first but then was pushing away Drunk Dude's hands when he was trying to grope him and said something like "no, no, none of that" and pulled away when he tried to kiss him.
I was trying make eye contact with Chill Guy to give the international "ARE YOU OK" eye contact, but they felt sort of off in their own little world, even though we were all in the same room. Drunk Guy eventually passed the fuck out and neither I nor Chill Guy could wake him up or move him off the couch to try and walk him home, etc.
I texted Chill Dude today and he said he felt upset about what had happened (attempted kissing, groping) but didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
I feel like I fucked up and let him get harassed right in front of me without doing enough to stop it. I feel like an enabling bystander and I don't know how to help or what to do. Thoughts and advice please?
I am often mistaken for a 12 year old by strangers
Is it wrong for me to be suspicious of guys who find me attractive?
>tfw huge pregnancy and birth fetish
>tfw not pregnant right now
>tfw hate kids and would make a shitty mom anyway
It hurts, anons
Pls b friend
Tfw moved to Melbourne from the U.S. and have tried to make friends and no matter what happens it just feels so awkward and forced. I've tried using bumble bff to make friends but nothing just clicks at all and I always feel like I'm too weird to be someone's friend.
Anyone live in Melbourne and wanna be friends?
Porn Addiction General
I'm not posting this in /nsfw/ since the entire premise of this thread is antithetical to that board, and I figure we could support each other here. I've seen a few posts here and there around cc of anons trying to curb this issue.
Who here is struggling with a porn addiction? Share your experience, thoughts and ideas, hold each other accountable, or just vent.
>a few resources on how porn affects the consumer, tips on staying free, and general topics of interest
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com
pretty much this entire website +
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn-problems-here-come-women
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/are-fetishes-innate
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/threads/my-thoughts-on-rebooting-extremely-long-post.15558
https://a-broader-sensibility.tumblr.com/post/160909630573/anti-porn-masterpost-feel-free-to-reblog-and-add
http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/24/entertainment/terry-crews-porn-addition-feat/index.html
Anyone feel free to post other resources and articles. This is a very cursory list.
Do any of you have good posture? Have any of you fixed yiur posture? It’s supposed to make boys (and people in general) think you’re more attractive and respect you more.
Girls how do I accept criticism? I want to get better at writing but throughout the years I've been becoming more and more insecure about my writing style etc and I feel like I'll never get better because every time someone gives me slight criticism on one of my stories it's like I shut down and scrap the entire story instead of fixing the tiny part(s) that the person had a problem with. I wasn't always like this. I used to be confident in my writing but now it feels like I did a whole 180 and I think everything I write is garbage. You can definitely tell when someone is insecure about their writing in a paper because it usually seeps through. I just want to be able to write again and not scrap every single thing that I write. I want to get better so I want to be able to take criticism like an adult.
>>ples help girls
>be used to being ridiculed for trying to make anything since a young age
>only wish is to become a musician or producer
>dad's friend who's a musician recommended a guitar tutor
>he's really nice and has a passion for teaching, has taught me for well over a year
>we made great progress and I enjoy it
>every time he plays a backing track for me to play a solo over I can barely hold back tears because I stopped trying to do anything creative for a long time
>psych told me that I'd never be the type to go on a stage or be confident enough to try
>tutor has faith in me and wants to help me get on stage with some of his other students
>he's so nice
>but it doesn't matter
I hate myself, why do I need to have such a backwards way of thinking
I just spent most of my savings on hardware to build a new pc since I've been using a 10 year old piece of crap and while building it I fried the motherboard, cpu and gpu. I just wanna die why am I so dumb
>Nothing good has happened to me since highschool
>Now I just sit inside all day wishing things were better
Why can't I just go back?
Ex-friends/Lost connections
We all have some stories of friends we used to know and love but aren't there for us anymore.
What happened for you to drift apart?
Do you miss them?
Have you tried to reconnect?
Etc.
I don't want to grow up
Is anybody else also feeling like this?
Some might say, well you don't have to give up your old interests, but it just hurts me so much seeing all the other people around me slowly starting to get engaged, living with their bfs, starting to work, hell, even selling their old "first" car.
I was always called really serious and mature for my age, dressed solely in trenchcoats during my teen years, but since I was 19 I started getting obseesed with the idea of wanting to stay young. I do go to uni and plan to work normally, but I'm just not ready for all that other stuff.
My room is super plain and I don't wear obnoxious clothes, I just don't like anything super "elegant", so whenever I see some of my old friends wearing some dark red lipstick and heels it just weirds me out. The time since our graduation flew by so fast and they all moved away starting their own lifes. One of my friends is already married, soon I can no longer even call myself a student. I'm desperately holding onto the few fun memories I made when I was younger.
I remember really enjoying spontaneously agreeing to go to a concert of a band I didn't know at all. One of the best nights of my life. We only bought tickets right outside of the venuse. They were some rather unknown american band. Me and my friend stood behind 2 girls who were groupies of that band, and I felt strangely jeelous of their immature but also carefree way of living (they chatted all the time, so I heard quite a bit).
It hurts me if people say wearing converse or crop tops are childish, because that's exactly what I like. I don't have many friends but whenever I witness others my age talking about their plans I feel like I wouldn't even want to be part of them? Staying at home and cooking a healthy meal together just sounds so boring. I wish I had friends to just go to McDonalds at night, go to concerts, travel together and so on, but everbody starts doing everything with their partners now. I don't even want a bf, if that means I have to do those things as well. I'm also not ready to "let go" of my celebrity crushes for a real guy lol. I hate anything "romantic", I just want to watch Family Guy or some meaningless shit like that.
The sad part is that I think if I was a guy it would be a lot more accepted. Even older men still can normally wear only comfy clothes, love fast food and have childish hobbies. Before anybody accuses me of trying to paint me as "one of of the guyz", no, not at all. I've never had male friends, I only really got along with other girls.
What should I do?
Ex-bf Thread
How did you meet your ex bf? What made you attracted to him, do you miss him, etc. Spill the tea
Anyone else here hates the outside world?
Not talking about animals nor humans, just the enviroment. Like most of the scenery looks bland and boring to me. I can't imagine how people go hiking on a regular basis just for starring at some generic trees and rivers.
Maybe I'm just numb to visual stimuli, nothing really impresses me anymore. As a young girl it was quiete the opposite though.
Internet Romance
Story time! Have you ever fallen in love online, sisters?
Bonus points if it happened back before webcams and smartphones were ubiquitous.
i hate being so lonely
I have absolutely no one to talk to in real life or even online. i lost all 'friends' i made when i graduated from high school. I've been a socially awkward mess ever since then. i stumble words and I can't keep a conversation going. Even people I talk to online feel like they only feel bad for me and just wish I would stop talking to them. (which they do, I constantly get ghosted and they don't ever have the same level of interest as I do. ) I'm a mess and I'm depressed, all the time I feel like ending it all. I have no goals or drive to do anything. I either lay in bed all day and cry or mindlessly scroll through Reddit, Tumblr, or discord servers I don't even talk in. I have severe anxiety so I get panic attacks in public so going out isn't an option and people don't want to talk to me online either. I'm so lonely. that's why I'm posting on some anonymous board right now where no one will probably care but whatever typing it out makes me feel good. I don't know what i can do to relieve this never ending sorrow of how lonely I am. I own a cat, but she can't talk. my family constantly argues so my relationship is loose with them. I feel like i have nothing at all, I'm isolated and trapped in a bubble from the outside world. and yes… I am receiving treatment for the most of the time I've been alive , it's just really bad. I don't believe I have any redeeming qualities , i have no talents, no hobbies, and no passions. the only thing that is probably keeping me going is that i have to care for my cat or no one else will and i love her. "but there are people out there who like you!" i doubt it. but if anyone can give me 'advice' please say something. my self destructive behavior is just getting worse and i cut off people more and more every day.
Hey /feels/ after a lot of self improvement (especially self steem related) I finally managed to get asked out by a guy last weekend and we had an awesome time and im really excited about seeing him again.
Problem is I think hes handsome but both my mom and my sister said hes kind off ugly.
What do you think?
Pic related, hes the blonde one.
Relationship anxiety anyone?
>bf is long distance, but still able to visit since he’s only 2-7 hours away
I get scared or worried that maybe I won’t be able to make him fully happy from such a far distance. Recently I’ve had fear that I can’t sexually help him as much as he’d want to, I’m a virgin and I’ve never done anything sexual besides sending a bra pic to another guy in the past (due to other issues). Hes very overly sexual and constantly mentions how when we will meet we can do all of these sexual actions.. I know that I’m not afraid of being sexual in a relationship but, I have fears of being taken advantage of or used. I know he’s had sexual partners in the past, and he’s even mentioned that he could just go to somebody for sex if he wanted to, that the reason why he stays with me is because he truly loves me. He says he loves me for how I am and all that.. but how can I not be worried? Am I just overreacting with my anxiety? I do love him, but emotionally I still have a couple walls up due to having bad experiences in the past. I’m very new to relationships, this being my first one.. and I want to allow myself to be fully vulnerable to him and comfortable, but I have so many fears he’s just going to use me, or that maybe I am not enough for him, and he will find another.
In the past, guys have talked to me for how I physically look, I’ve been sexually harassed and groped so much by strangers it makes me scared to be sexually intimate in my relationship, being taken advantage of or not being good enough.. or just being betrayed is my biggest fears.
I don’t think he would do anything, I trust him 100 percent!
How do I fix my relationship anxiety? I’m too scared to tell him how I fear because I’ve mentioned it to him before, and it just felt weird to say..
Am I just overly paranoid? We are going to see eachother in person soon, so I don’t know if I’ll be fully comfortable around him for.. anything really.
We are still fairly new together, so far a month and so. He’s very straight forward and blunt With what he says so I know his intentions are to be with me, that he loves me. But will I ever be enough? Is my anxiety justified? Maybe I am just overthinking everything?
Am I just paranoid?
>kinda new please don’t fire me pls
read this thread
http://boards.4chan.org/fit/thread/47759001
what feeling does it give you? depression material tbh.
Guys, I think I'll just stay alone.
I know I just graduated from school and I have all my life ahead of me but..wow.
I never really tried, like, finding a boyfriend, due to my insecurity about my height.(5'9)
Every guy I start talking with it's just meaningless. All they care about is sex and how many girls they'll fuck, so they can show off..Nobody is really romantic and my circle of friends is just surrounded by fuckboys and stacies, so theres really no chance of meeting a decent one. Listening to romantic songs and watching all these innocent romance anime made me realize that I'll never experience anything like that. It just physically hurts me. How do I cope with this?
An important friend of mine is going through a huge ego trip and he just disappeared.
I met him this year but I heard that every year at least once, he closes all his social media for a short period and then reopens them.
Due to an illness of his, he couldn't do much with one of his hand cause there was a risk of him dying if he made the wrong move. So for 3 years he just wasted his time. This year that thing was cured so he finally started the thing that he always wanted, boxing. He is really passionate about it as I heard from his friend. So, he closed his accounts as usual but this time he kept them closed just a little too much. We called him on his phone and agreed to meet up and he made us sit and wait for him 30 mins until he just said that he just didn't want to come. A friend of us from another town would come to stay at his house for some days but he canceled it on the last minute. Lastly, the girlfriend of his best friend got really hurt and his best friend was talking to him and he didn't even care he just answered "Yes" "Now let me tell you what I did on practice"
I want to talk to him because I miss him but there's no way contracting her anyways. I tried but he didn't even answer he just talks to a very few circles of people. What do I do /adv/?
Sexual Assault/Harassment/Abuse Support Thread
Discuss your experiences, your recovery, and help out fellow miners who have dealt with and/or are currently dealing with anything related to sexual abuse/assault.
How do you deal with being harassed online?
I've had this group of guys online harass me for the past FOUR years now and they won't stop. I even blocked their accounts on every online media possible but they either target my friends, add them to start shit talking me to them or spam their comment sections with memes or made up stories about me, or they even target random people that I might be interested in, like for example I'd post a random comment on someone's profile, few hours later when I check back in I see a comment from one of the guys either trying to befriend that said person or make some snarky remark about me.
It won't stop, they've even been posting my discord ID and other accounts on 4chan lately in boards dedicated to sex and made the comment that accompanied the post seem as degenerate as possible, saying how I was into furries or into getting fucked by dogs. It feels like they're just destroying any sort of reputation I might have around some of the people that would know me online, or even those who wouldn't know me might still here those made up stories and then think badly of me. They claim I deserve everything I get as well and that I should ''apologize'' for something I've done, but I've never done anything bad or wrong to them to begin with, only thing I can think of is this one time when I remove one of guys who was about 14 or so, because he started being super annoying, he added me back few days later after the remove though, I accepted but he started acting super edgy and aggressive to me so I just removed him again and blocked as well, few weeks after that it's when they all basically started spamming me with porn and harass me.
I mean I can just ignore them I guess but it still makes me feel like shit when I go anywhere and suddenly see some recent comment or post from them that mentions me in it.
Unhappy about racism
I am so depressed, like it's literally killing me inside, about all the alt-right propaganda, that dark-skinned races are inherently inferior and have smaller brains than Whites. I have heard so many hateful things being said about my country, it makes me so upset being a third-worlder and a "shitskin". I have been seeing a shrink, but psychiatric treatment is of very poor quality in my country, and all she did is gave me a couple of anti-depressants that don't work. How can I deal with this problem? It's literally ruining my life. My grades have sunk enormously and I've lost interest in anything positive. All I do is think about all this stuff all day.
How do I breakup with my boyfriend?
>LTR, 7 years
>never gets a job
>plays videogames all day
>doesn't give a shit about his health
>getting fat and smelly
>depends on his mom for everything
>very rude
>self victimizing all the time
>can't break up with him because he pulls the suicide card
>still love him deeply but more as a friend than as a boyfriend at this point
What do I do? Should I gather courage to breakup with him even if he threatens to kill himself?
I feel like he's waiting for me to do it so he has another reason to hate himself and say he wants to die.
I'm getting so tired of this. I just want to be with someone who can actually be with me and acts like a grown-up. He has been depressed for 2 years, I don't think I can deal with this anymore. He's constantly treating me like shit and gives me almost no attention unless I disappear/treat him badly. If I do that he suddenly starts whining saying I don't give him love and attention. I'm tired.
this is hard to type, i just feel so horrible, and this is going to be a long one
i am so tired of being so lonely
i can't take it, i want to have my first irl boyfriend or girlfriend, i want someone to hold me, i want to hug someone, i want something to look forward to when i wake up and leave for school, i want someone to make my life worth it, i want to have my first kiss, i want someone to do things with, i can't take this
i always thought when i started leaving my house for real (i was originally homeschooled, but begun going to school this year) i'd finally have friends and get a boyfriend, because i've hung around a lot of incels who drilled the "your problems and loneliness are invalid because youre a female and therefore your life is good and boys will go wild over you! youll have so many friends and become a slut!" idea into my head and so i waited, every single day i waited - i told myself when i went to school i'd finally make the friends i never had and get the boyfriend i never had and you know what? i didnt
i just had to watch people interact every day and disclude me from it, i am nothing - to them and in general. i tried my best but nobody is ever going to want me
i got some hope from a stupid happening - a random person with their group of friends i didn't know started approaching me, and one of them asked if i thought their friend was cute and told me he needed a girlfriend and they could give me his phone number. i felt like things were finally happening for me, the stuff i heard was finally being proven true, i would finally have someone to love and someone to love me back, i was just so overjoyed, i felt the hope i had forgotten
but i texted him and i just got ignored
the feeling of patheticness that shrouded me as i checked my phone again and again to no avail is like no other feeling
i don't understand why things are like this.. i don't want to be lonely anymore, i can't take it
Life keeps taking away my joys and accomplishments.
Anyone feel like life just gives you things only to take them away like some kind of sick divine punishment?
>almost find the perfect relationship, completely blow it
>work out and diet to achieve a body I'm proud of, only to get a hernia and have to stop.. losing years of progress
>get a career only to end up absolutely despising it
>make an absolute shit ton of money day trading, only to lose it all and then some like a fucking idiot
>move 1,200 miles away from home in an attempt to find myself and be independent, fail to make any meaningful connections whatsoever and go broke
You guys ever feel like it's getting harder and harder to wake up and try?
Venting thread
Venting thread because why not make one more
I'll start
I'm well aware of the fact that I am the equivalent of that one stinky bonfire your neighbor had in his back garden with his buddies last night.
I am well aware that I will end my days sooner than I should. I am well aware of the fact that I may or may not be a danger to myself. Everyday I stare at the wall and do nothing all day. I don't have anybody. I don't want to get help because they'll treat me as if I'm some sort of kicked dog or something. I don't want their attention and I don't want their pity. I have been keeping to myself for far too long but I still won't tell anybody I know in real life so I am here on some odd internet imageboard for ladies. I just need to leave some sort of mark somewhere on the internet, no matter how small, before I completely break down. I feel like I won't be on this filthy planet for much longer and the thought of that makes me happy. Ironically, it makes me feel somewhat alive.
I don't know what's going to happen but I needed to vent about what I have been feeling for the past few years. The voices or whatever the fuck they are won't listen to me. They always fucking mock me and I hate it but I know that what they are saying is true. I know that I am worth next to nothing. I'll make them stop, though. I'll make those fuckers stop even if I have to stop breathing to make them go silent for fucking eternity.
A bit long but I suppose it's a start. Hopefully I didn't scare any of you off.
>be me
>shut in type throughout tail end of middleschool and generally most all of highschool and now half way through college.
>i know it may sound sad, but as an isolationist i have developed personal hobbies and skills that allowed me to generate my own sense of purpose and happiness.
>last year, met someone on an online live streaming website. we shared a few things in common and had similar interests/ sense of humor.
>were on opposite side of the state but he would stay up in bed on the east coast talking to me on stream until it dark on the west coast where i lived. this went on for a year or so.
>shared images, compliments, experiences, etc…
>for the longest time i legitimately thought i was asexual, but i really enjoyed the attention i was getting.
>i feel the hows and whys aren't too important, but today i am back to just being by myself and my hobbies, and it feels like I'm suffering from withdrawal syndrome.
i know that before meeting him i had been able to feel satisfied, and accomplished within myself and my outlets that i enjoy, but now i have this void that i don't feel any amount of self improvement will fill. why do i feel this longing for external validation where once i had none and was perfectly fine?
what can i do to stop feeling like this and return to being satisfied in myself and my personal achievements?
Blease Helb
tfw your only friend is your 15 year old little brother.
How do I bring up that i want to date?
There is a guy ive been talking to for more than 10month now and i want to finally meet him irl.
My problem is that i have no clue how to bring up the topic without it being awkward and i'm really scared that it might hurt our relationship.
It took months to make him join voip, even though we chat and play games on a daily basis, so i'm scared that asking for a date will shoo him away. (I'm >90% sure that it's not because he has a gf already since he's even more socially retarded than me)
Do any of you have a Stacy mom?
Madly in love with my BFF
We've known each other for about 9 years. When we met, we clicked right away, had the same niche interests, same awful childhood, similar mindsets but still different enough to help each other grow etc. We dated for about half a year only a few months into knowing each other but it didn't go well (we both agreed we were too immature and messed up at the time to pursue it) so we broke up but remained close friends anyway.
We still spent almost the entire day together and neither of us felt weird about it, we just enjoyed each others' presence. Eventually we grew apart a little and stopped doing things together or even talk as much, and that went further downhill when I got into an abusive relationship where I was forced to cut all contact with my friends. It was the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life. At the time I didn't know any better, I just wanted someone to love me, so I hesitantly went along with it.
Eventually other complications made me break up with that boyfriend. I had noone left so I did the only thing I could think of and that was getting on my knees and begging my ex-bff to forgive me. I learned a lot from that relationship, so I meant every word of it. I didn't expect much from it but his patience of a saint reluctantly accepted and we became friends again, though it was very strained at first. It also didn't help I had some psychological trauma from that abusive relationship, I wasn't like myself at all, but my bff stuck around and helped me get back on my feet, back to my old self.
This was about 2 years ago, and right now we're just like when we met each other. We spend all day together but we're a lot more mature, we have adult responsibilities now so obviously there's no 24/7 companionship anymore, but it's as close as possible.
So then I started developing really intense feelings for him, I feel like he's my soulmate, like we actually share a soul. I can't go 5 minutes without thinking about him, every thought I have involves him. I used to just talk to myself in my thoughts, but a few months ago I started noticing I now talk to my BFF in my thoughts instead.
A lot of these feelings are mutual I think, he has given me similar signals over time but since we're both nutjobs I can't really be certain about anything. All I know is we both love being with each other to death and care for each other more than anything in the world. If for whatever reason a romantic relationship isn't available despite of that, I don't really care, I just want him to always be a part of my life ever since I got out of my bad relationship, so I'm not going to avoid opening a can of worms that might destabilize our friendship. I'm blessed to have such an amazing person in my life and I feel like I can't ask for more than that.
I'd love to hear if anyone else has similar experiences? Not really as advice, just sharing feels.
I'm bisexual in a straight relationship. Things are good, I love him and I like male bodies. I just pains me that I also like tits and pussy and a the touch of another girl. I feel really guilty when I masturbate and think of girls. Are there any other bisexuals here that go through this?
Autism Spectrum Disorders
A support thread for people who are on or may be on the spectrum.
I can't really tell if my relationship has been doomed for a long time, or if it's dead or if it's actually doing well and I'm the problem here.
I don't have anyone to talk to. I managed to lock myslf in a really tight box. We live together, we work together, we do shopping and go cycling together. Sometimes we spend weeks never being further than 20 meters from each other. I have few good friends, mostly from work, but when we go out for drinks after work we're always together. I'm suffocating. I claim to love this man but I can't stand him anymore. All the little things annoy me. The way he talks. His jokes. His clothes. His habits. I feel like a fucking monster for having these thoughts.
I have noone to talk to. My friends from work are his friends and coworkers too. My only friend outside of work became his friend too over the years. Besides, he lives far away and traveling on my own to see him would be weird.
Lately we argue every single day. Always over dumb shit. We stopped making good memories. We either fight or are act like cooworkers/roommates. Breaking up comes up in these fights quite often.
We still have sex. Usually I initiate because deep down I'm scared that once we stop our relationship will start fading away.
Although it's been really bad for a long while part of me desperately wants to make it work. When it comes to all that big stuff, we're perfectly compatible. There's so much wrong with me, but he loves me despite it. I have a few weird dealbreakers and he's good with them. Who else would be? And he's a good person. Except one thing that happened year ago he never did anything bad to me. And besides working literally one meter from each other it's great to work in the same profession that I'm extremely passionate about
Ugh it would be so much easier if not these good sides. I'm rambling.
The thing is I really dont know what to do. Including this one I had three long term relationships. As shitty as it is, I wasn't properly single since I was sixteen. I'm 23 now. I never lived alone. I never threw a party on my own. It was always us , not me
I feel like I know what to do, but I dont know how. I'm scared that I have BPD and this is just a phase because in the matter of fact I actually swing between idealising and devaluating him. Although lately it kinda stays on the worse side. I'm afraid I'll never be alone because after 2+ years I always feel burned out. The person I'm the closest to usually becomes the one that I have most problems with.
Like happiness and peace of mind were never meant for me.
I'm scared of breaking up. I have so many useful things I got from him. My family loves him. His pretty much feels like a family to me. We work together. I'm afraid that after few days I'll regret it. Our relationship may be bad, but he's a genuinely good person. I'm so scared that one night I'll go to bed alone and suddenly realise how he was the one and only, but there will be no going back. I'm scared I'll never be as happe as I was with him in the past. But at the same time I feel like we won't be nearly as happy even if we stay together.
And I have noone to talk to. I'm pretty much falling apart now, today at work I seemed normal but I was as close tp breaking down as it gets. What do I do?
Cheating
Share your experiences.
Has your SO flirted with other people, had an emotional affair or have they done something physical? Do you suspect they might be cheating on you?
Tell us
- What are the warning signs?
- How did you find out?
- Have they tried to deny it?
- How did it end?
- Do you hate them?
- How did you get over it?
If you have cheated on someone, feel free to put your input in here.
If you need support, post here as well.
Why are some of you on here?
Some of you seem too socially adjusted i.e you have friends,boyfriends and people that love you. So do explain what brings you to here its not the most normal or mainstream site. Why not visit other sites like rddit or imgr.This image board is obviously counter-intuitive to being happy / normal. Some of you seem like genuinely nice and likeable people. Therefor, I can only suggest for you to leave this vitriolic place.
question for those who've been sexually abused
If you still live or did live for a long time after the abuse with your abuser and were forced to have a "normal" relationship with them, do/did you find yourself taking their criticism or gripes about you way worse than if anyone else did? I know, they're not worth my time worrying over their opinion of me, but it hurts me like nothing else when they insinuate I'm too stupid or easily overwhelmed to do x and I feel so worthless when they call me dense when I'm sure if someone else close to me called me that, I'd brush it off and see that they're just mad or not thinking clearly or joking or whatever.
I feel so helpless to stop feeling this way. I don't think the rest of my family gets it, either. They often just think I'm being overdramatic and they know what happened between us.
I feel so pathetic because the last time I was abused by this person was 9-11 years ago and I'm still snagged on them.
Anyway, it'd be great if some of you could give input, tell me how you stopped caring, or just shared your experience and make me feel less alone.
I hate porn.
I've been with a guy for two years, I love him and we are happy together, but I'm very close to his best friend as well, so close that I think I have romantic feelings for him and that makes me feel like shit but I'd be too sad if I stop being friends with him.
Should I stop talking to him, wait for the crush to go away (although it seems to get stronger) or something else?
Do any of you have an especially active or popular internet alter ego?
I'm sure everyone here separates their internet and real life to an extent, but do any of you take it a step further and have a completely anonymous pseudonym that you are particularly active with in a certain community or produce work under?
I created a handle for putting out some creative work I didn't want tied to my real name, and it's been great in that regard but privacy is a big enough concern (had issues with rude and nosy coworkers in the past) that I keep my identity airtight. Only my partner knows of it, and I do not disclose any personal details to people I befriend under this name, and I don't interact with anyone I know in real life on this account and vice versa. It's kinda lonely because I'd love to be closer friends with some of these people but I can tell me being secretive puts some distance between us (I don't blame them of course), and on the flip side sometimes a post would do well on either my professional account or my anonymous account but I'll feel like it's 'wasted' on my anonymous account (because it might get my positive professional attention) yet I feel like it would get more attention overall on my fake account at this point and also help me keep the account active and engaging since I try to post 1-2 times a week.
I also have enough of a following now that I am getting paid requests and am thinking of opening a ko-fi account but I worry about people somehow finding out my real name though those accounts somehow.
Have any of you done this and do you have any advice on dealing with these issues?
Envy
I'm jealous at everything. Despite knowing that I have it nice and wouldn't want to trade.
I sacrificed everything when starting my family. I was aware of it and decided to, but I was so far on top. And now I'm on the bottom end of the month I literally scrape by with zero money.
And then I'm here, currently sitting in "uptown", a town adjacent to our city where all the rich and well-off people live. Especially families. Everything here is so fucking nice and peaceful. Of course living here is more expensive than in the city itself. I mean, I live in the city (reason #1 to not complain about anything), but in the industry area where also salafism is on the rise. The part where no one wants to live. And our friends, also a stay at home mom, live here and while they are looking for something new to live and complain about everything being expensive, they also go "No, I don't want to live in another town ^^".
Then all the people who can apparently afford shelling out tens of thousands of Euros for a new nice luxurious car. It's literally the least priority to have a car better than those crabby old boxes to get around. But apparently they earn so much that they just go "why not"?
Also, malls. "Boutiques". Stores where clothing cost easily ten times as much as they are worth. And people strolling through them with the money just oozing out of their pockets, on a March to glorify capitalism. Not only that, completely superfluous consumerism in a building as large as a little town built with finest material so everyone can feel like Croesus while blowing money out of the window.
I'm aware it's about the vainest thing in existence and still I'm so jealous, and it makes me the worst person ever. I have wonderful kids and yet I'm bitter that I don't get to waddle through shiny malls with the intention to buy nice things.
Then my husband, I chose him because of his virtues, and that means that he doesn't follow the religion substitute of amassing wealth. And now I sit here, bitter that he doesn't earn as much as other men, would never even try, but even if, it would be futile.
Then I see my friend on the social media who went down the other path. She's now so famous that billboards with her face are being produced. (Of course, she suffers because she's lonely. But still.)
I crave for a job, any job, even the shitty telecommunication installation guy had a job I envied him for. I'm a technician at heart and housewife is nothing like that.
I am envious of people going out. I would love to sing and dance and get smashed. I'm also jealous at those who still get to flirt and date. My relationship is substantial, but it just feels like another chore.
I'm jealous at everyone who can follow their dreams. But I must rationally reject that as "fleeting entertainment that won't matter in the end." I know all this and still I'm bitter.
And then the fucking Parenthood bloggers. "I make a living by blogging!" Yeah that's why you absolutely have to advertise a bank's funds investment plan as a necessity for Parenthood. And thousands of mother's read your shitty """blog""" that is nothing else but a 24/7 advertising platform because she has ~one kid~ at the age of what? 3? and thus apparently is an expert in the field of parenting. Meanwhile I blog about my life and goals that, sorry for boasting, are actually ambitious, unique and interesting, and I have lousy 100 followers (half of which are the obligatory friend followers) because I spend my day actually living that life and not optimizing my social media presence.
Everything is full of lies, they pretend to look for truth but won't give a fuck at you if you don't also become full of lies, they literally bow down to false idols and make their lives about who serves them most, and I know all this and STILL fall for it.
Why is life so shit.
A boy told me he loves me today and I said I love him too. We've been together for a couple months.
We're inexperienced but willing to try to be together and make it work.
Can anons in LTRs tell me how to have a long and healthy relationship?
New Venturu Threadu
Old thread: >>>/feels/5889
Old thread reached cap and I need to cry
>Finally decide to go see a therapist
>It's a man
>And he's super cute
>Always really nice to me, feel like he's really helping
>He always acts nervous around me
>Starting to fall in love with him
FUCK. What do I do?
I am so sick of men
I am SO sick of men. I'm not particularly a feminist or anything but they can be SO selfish. I have my male friends and some of them I care about deeply, but even they can be REALLY insensitive sometimes and all my guys on the internet have some obsession with making anti-woman "jokes" all the time (usually later I find out they're rarely even jokes, cuz they're usually hiding some obvious bitterness towards women) and they won't stop even though they know it hurts my feelings. They're so disrespectful they can't even not make a 'woman beating' joke when I'm trying to relay a story about how some woman in church was telling me about their experience being abused by their husband for 11 years, they think everything is theirs, for example demanding that they can be misogynistic on my discord, with excuses like 'free speech'even though that makes no sense and I just am trying to create a healthy space for me and my female friends.
They're so damn entitled. Can we have a vent thread on times men have been complete dicks to us?
My Bird Died.
>had to put one of my pet parrots down yesterday
I came home to find one of my birds badly injured. Him and 3 others have free roam of the livingroom most of the day, and I found him on the floor and immediately rushed him to an ER vet. Who refused to take him because their avian expert wasnt in. Which lead to a wild goose chase that took us on a 2hr drive, all with the poor little guy hanging on to life. Got there only to be told that his injuries were too extensive to fix, and that the best option is to put him down. They let me see him one last time, and I told him how much everyone loves him and how sorry I am that my carelessness got us here.
got home at 5am yesterday morning and I've been chasing a good nights sleep since.
I keep seeing his empty cage. I miss him so much. Im so sorry Jacob. Everything went so wrong.
Self Appreciation General
Seeing a lot of threads floating around that are centred on negative /feels/, how about one for expressing a lil' bit of a self love?
What are some accomplishments you're most proud of? What do you really like about yourself as a person? What are some of your best qualities? Do you envision a positive, successful future for yourself? etc.
Feel free to brag all you want ITT.
Is anyone else here a caregiver for an adult with dementia or other loved one with special needs? It's hard watching my grandma decline, she is imagining false memories of things that didn't happen, confuses memories of things that happened to her grandchildren with her own children and vice versa, and recently and more seriously is becoming irresponsible with her money handling. Not to mention there are the physical changes of becoming unable to do daily tasks like bathe and toilet yourself unassisted. I have work experience caring for adults with disabilities but it's much harder to watch your own family members experience these changes when you remember what they used to be like.
(Sort of unrelated but I really wish the cg/l community did not use the term caregiver, it makes it harder to find support for actual caregivers on social media.)
Old thread: >>>/feels/3849
You know the drill
Image source: https://kittenwitchandthebadvibes.tumblr.com/post/168272427901/kittenwitchandthebadvibes-counting-your
Does anyone sometimes feel ashamed of being a woman?
Hear me out. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of aspects of femininity that I love. How we have the potential to be intelligent, elegant, nurturing, caring, empathetic, devoted… But on the flip side, I feel like most women's sexuality is disgusting in a way and holds them back. Seeing how many women engage in casual sex in order to feel loved, whore themselves out for money, actively do porn, etc. In relationships a lot of women want to be treated roughly, be degraded, or controlled. They stay in relationships that could be called abusive because of their desire to please and be used. So many women use their sexuality in an negative and damaging way. As a result they bring children into this world that can't be properly taken care of. Almost 50% of children are being raised by single mothers. Because they are getting worse and worse at picking good life partners.
It makes me feel deep shame as I believe that we should respect our bodies but a lot of women just don't. They starve themselves in order to become thinner, buy expensive makeup to hide their imperfections, believe they have to degrade themselves in order for men to love them, take BC that ruins their body, and in general don't even love themselves. Of course these people are the worst examples, but I feel like it's becoming a very common thing.
Sorry if this sounds misogynist, that is not the intention.
is this normal
is this normal
Idk what to do..
My girlfriend got really drunk, and relapsed into cutting. I don't really know what to do because i have a hard time talking about stuff like that since i also used to cut.
Also i have some problems with dissociation and depression and am afraid that if i talk
to her about mental problems i would just end up making her more depressed.
I'm really REALLY introverted and shy so i would be thankful for any advice on how to
approach her without making it worse.
I feel like there is something inherently wrong with me
I hate people who are dramatic and embellish stories, I hate people who don't speak their feelings honestly or who give false opinions to make people happy.
This all sounds normal, but it gets me into fights with people I love and they end up leaving me. I feel as though my lifetime of therapy had ruined my understanding of other people's feelings and thought process.
People don't think I'm being honest sometimes because I point blank tell people how I'm feeling or what I need in a situation, and that is apparently rare
I'm tired of feeling like a robotic outsider. I'm tired of feeling alone.
I am confused help
Right, /feels/… I need a bit of advice.
So, I have met this german guy a few months ago and we became good friends. We would mainly mess around on twitter and talk about personal stuff from time to time (nothing sexual).
One night, we started playing some text games and sharing random images we found on the internet. It was getting pretty late so we decided to call it a night and chat some more tomorrow (yes, he did say ''See ya tomorrow'').
Thing is, I have been messaging him for a few days and no answer. I decided to send him a message saying that I'm not going to message him because I don't want to flood him and that he should ask for memes when he comes back or something. It has been 1 month now and he hasn't sent anything. I did stop the messages as I promised.
What do? This guy is actually a decent human being and I don't want to lose him or anything like that.
P.S: Yes, I am quite new to this sort of stuff since I tend to just focus on my studies (engineering sucks the life out of you). I don't want romantic shenanigans with him but it does feel quite nasty.
What’s the biggest age gap you’re willing to have in a relationship? Would you have different age gap standards purely sexually speaking? What is your actual experience with age gap relationships/sex? Have you gone cougar?
Personally it used to be the older the better for me (as long as they didn’t look like grandpas, just handsome older men). However, as I get older younger guys (younger than me) seem more and more appealing. I’m probably being brainwashed by old lingering bishounen fantasies and how every older famous woman now only seems to date super young men.
Sexual assault survivor support r thread.
I
What do you feel about guys who are friends or close with only girls? Should they be trusted? Is there something weird going on?
I'm dating someone who's friends are literally just all girls and I don't know what to feel about it.
I've literally never met a guy like that so I don't know what to expect.
I'm trying not to be crazy about it, and he's a good guy but I just don't get it.
Literally he only only gets along with girls. He's been roommates with three girls the past few years and would often hangout with other girls alone too.
Pretending to love your parents for money
This has been torturing me for a while. My father used to beat me through my childhood but stopped when I called the police who along with my mother didn't believe me. Now I'm 18 constantly depressed (the meds haven't helped) and I desperately want to move out and never talk to neither of them again. But the problem is that realistically I can't, they're wealthy people and I'm a sad girl with nowhere to go, no one to turn on to and whose only plan is camgirling. Realisticly I have to keep pretending that I love my mother atleast but it's killing me inside
How can I tell if I’m being used as a practice gf?
My husband just threw a fit because I have booked a vacation for 700€ for 7 nights full board vacation at pic relatedfor two adults and four kids. He thinks it is way too expensive and the people we're going with are ripping us off, and despite of then having created a full program with paid for(!) trips and attractions in that beautifully ass landscape, while maintaining that everything is optional and they take care of the kids most of the time, he lashes out at them, calling them stupid, boring and a pain in the ass while insisting I'm naive for believing them (???).
I wonder how one single person can be so far removed from reality.
Feels/Vent Dump, looking for comfort advice. Just anything.
> be me
> join a gaming community because i lost my main friend group, still hurt i find a streamer community.
> meet this cool chick
> over time she starts obsessing over a mod that i became acquainted to, he’s 18 at the time. she’s 25.
> me being the 16 year old i am, i didn’t notice.
> just tried to make her happy, nothing works. unsurprisingly.
> over time she starts to make more “friends” i can’t make any due to trust issues and such.
> i meet an old friend of the moderator i was aquatinted to. he was the dose of reality i needed.
> i cut her off, she goes to anyone i once talked to and destroyed my reputation. i once again have nothing.
> i out of a frenzy move into a community my friend owns. just to get away from her, she follows me and im just scared now.
> i find /r9k/ but never posted there since i felt like i didn’t belong there since a lot of people don’t like women there from what i noticed.
> i try to stay comfortable there at this point since at this point i have only two friends, the moderator and his old friend.
> over time im so worn out and i hurt, every day it gets worse. i cry myself to sleep on the daily. i just want to be liked.
> i confess to my friend, he keeps it on vague territory. he and i are now a “thing”
> i just feel bad, he’s been there for me but i feel like that he’s feels obligated to stay now. i don’t want to lose him because after that i truly will be alone.
> it’s 2018 now, ive recently turned 18. things are fine. if only.
> i have breakdowns constantly now.
> i hurt.
> i just want to curl up and die.
> someone please help me before i do anything too drastic, i don’t know where else to go.
Burning bridges
Have you ever removed someone from your life instantly and permanently? I don't like confrontation and prefer to let friendships fizzle out instead of causing a stink, so when I do cut someone off, it's a big deal to me. Share your stories?
How do you guys talk with your partner's about sex stuff?
I have had both good and bad experiences. Right now I have just started hanging out with a new guy. We haven't had sex yet but he has definately wanted to and so have I.
I am going to ask him out for a coffee and ask about sexual health (getting tested), tell him I have had bad experiences in the bad (I won't say more than that but simply that I need my word respected or it's bye bye) and lies of omission. I have had a hard time with guys because I read a lot of pick up blogs in the past and honestly it scared me away because it makes it seem like guys are expected to be psychopaths.
Has anyone else had a time where they have tried to talk about sex health and been treated badly? All I can think about is a teenage guy I dated and how he asked if I thought he had disease when I asked about getting tested. We stopped hanging out after that and it was the shittiest feeling ever. I just want to not expect that when it is my feeling. People can have their shit together on the outside but be super sexually messed up.
I lost my best friend, [Redacted], who I thought of a sister. I’d die for her. I’d even burn in hell for her. Knowing she’s borderline and she’s a pathological liar. We made an oath to each other never to abandon each other. I’m dead to her now. The last words she told me were “enjoy burning in hell”. It hurts so fucking much.
The reason she hates me is because she hates the discord for this board and I stayed on it after she left.
I want to die.
Lesbian Feels
Discuss the difficulties and joys of being lesbian, whether it's related to your partner or how you're treated by society. Share your stories of when you realized you were lesbian, too!
embarrassment thread
share embarrassing stories & pictures here.
Did you do something embarrassing? Did another person give you secondhand embarrassment?
>tfw no bf
Last thread maxxed out: >>>/feels/5669
Awkward moments
Embarrassed yourself again? Let it out.
Is it true that girls make the best puppet masters? Are they more manipulative than men or is it just a myth spread by incels?
Have you ever split up with a friend or abandoned one? Or maybe you've been on the receiving end?
I abandoned 2 earlier this year. They were a a couple actually, as a sidenote I don't ever think I'll befriend a friend's SO ever again.
I sometimes wondered if it was the right choice, the possibility of it being the wrong choice scared the shit out of me. But right after it happened I wrote 20 pages on what exactly bothered me when before it was a jumbled mess that started brewing years prior, going over those pages I feel more confident in it being the right choice. When I wasn't working it felt like all I could do was cry and write about those two.
Recently all of my anger and sadness regarding my history with them has subsided. I more and more feel worried about how they might be doing instead of any negative emotions directed at them. I originally justified my choice, directly to my friend, by telling her how much she has in life but now feel scared what might have happened to her anyway. I wouldnt be friends again even if it was possible but I wish to know if those two are okay. I'd want to apologise because I really do feel a lot of sorrow about it even if it couldnt be another way.
If you've left someone or been left, how do you feel towards them now?
What did she mean by this
This is to vent and also to ask for advice:
I’ve had this one friend A since high school. Since I met her I thought she was very attractive and most guys also seem to find her attractive. We always got along well, we operate on a similar wavelength and I think we get eachother on some level. This made me slightly obsessed with her and have to try my absolute best not to beta orbit her. We were never best best friends but we were pretty close among our friend group.
ANYWAY
Fast forward 4 years, we maybe hang out once every 6 months for the last couple years. She invites me and our other friend to go to the bars/clubs downtown. Both of us have boyfriends by now. We go to one very crowded club and she’s getting hit on by a dude while we’re all together. He’s not hot but he’s not ugly either, imo. B U T instead of rejecting him and telling him she has a boyfriend or saying she isn’t interested, she says that I’m her girlfriend. And then she says to kiss to prove she’s gay. Me, very drunk at this point, gets way too into it. It was so hot but I’m still embarrassed. Anyways everyone goes oooo and then we talk a bit more with people there and then leave. She acts pretty normal around me aftert, but drops me off last and gives me the option to stay at her house which I refused bc I was still embarrassed and didn’t want to take her invitation the wrong way and also I have a fuckin boyfriend.
WHY would she say we’re gay?
Is she teasing me? Does she want me to eat her pussy? Was she just trying to make a show in front of the lads? Or is she that dumb that she thinks it would deter thirsty dudes? Was she trying to sleep with me or did she invite me over because I was drunk?
Should I ask her about it? I don’t want to bring it up if it was nothing
Family Feels
I thought it'd be nice to have a thread specifically related to family feels, whether they be good or bad.
I met my boyfriend of a year of a half via 4chan (as one does.) He is a perfect angel in every way, he treats me like a princess, etc. The only thing that keeps me up at night is that he used to trip and post lolicon stuff and I've seen his old messages where he basically admits to being a pedophile..
I get that people change and I have faith in him and I've spoken to him about this time and time again but there's always a little bit of doubt in my brain about if he's still…like that. I act kind of childlike and I guess I look like a teenager because of that due to being autistic. I know he doesn't like me just for sex though but it fucking keeps me up at night anons. wtf do i do do i just sit with this forever…"but mom I love him!!"
>tell guy to be nice after he says something nasty to a friend of mine
>GIRLS LIKE DOUCHEBAGS STOP BITCHING FEMINAZI GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN
God there's so much to unpack here
Oh well. I feel like I have this burden on my chest that I should just get rid off really quickly. Since I don't know any females I figured out this would be a good place to vent out because I think it's my responsibility to say or express my feelings towards women collectively for some reason. It's just this deep regret inside of me. And I'll stay in a psych ward for the next year as of tomorrow so this is my only chance I guess.
I don't think I've hurt any of you physically or emotionally really. I mean I don't even know any girls irl or online personally. Maybe you've seen my misogynistic rants online here and there but even if you were hurt, it wasn't directly tbh.
I think I've always been misogynistic. It started with my mom abusing me, continued with me getting rejected multiple times, women being better than me at anything that I do. I mean it seemed to me as if it was unacceptable when women did something better than me until very recently. I saw you as lesser beings with really shallow emotional grasp of certain things, less physical abilities and all that. You weren't really human to me. It felt like your minds, unlike males' were programmed and depended on a weird algorithm that I would never be able to figure out. And I had these weird fantasies where I would just figure all about how your minds work and fucking pull you onto my lap with mindgames and shit like that. Then I found this site and became obsessed with you. Because despite most of you having similar interests with the males on r9k or somewhere along the lines you actually felt "emotionally consistent" and less bipolar. I had fun reading all your posts and actually related to you (didn't post if it makes you feel comfortable because I felt like you would notice how a male would sound like). And all this time I blamed you for everything that went wrong with my life, drugs, fucked up mental health, and it was basically for nothing. It was just me being a retard blaming others for my shortcomings. I think all men at the core are obsessed with what women really think, how they think. We just want to figure out how female mind really works. And I guess an insight into your minds really helped me to become a better version of myself for the last couple months imo (don't get me wrong I still have some quasi misogynistic view of how females act on certain things). So I both wanted to thank you and say sorry. And also sorry for ruining your le secret club. You can blame my therapist for giving me the ideo of venting here.
You can ban me now
Self love
How do you learn to love yourself and improve your self esteem?
Like lots of you I spent my whole life hating myself, but it's counter productive and I want to work on it. What do?
How do I into dating?
So I was reading through some of the posts here, and while I previously thought I was prepared for a relationship, I'm now somewhat terrified at the prospect, and after thinking about it for a while, I realized that I have a ton of questions that I hadn't even considered before. I posted a bit in another thread, but I decided I'd make a separate one, since I don't want to risk derailing the original. Here are my previous posts, so that I don't have to waste any of the site's space by repeating them.
>>9131
>>9143
I'll try to break my thoughts down into bullet points, so that people can respond to each individual question/concern with their input on the matter.
• Most importantly, how do I stay safe when dating?
I've been pretty sheltered for most of my life, and I really don't have all too much experience with this, so I'm pretty clueless in this area. I mean, I know to always tell people where I'm going and to regularly check in with them, but beyond that, I'm basically drawing a blank.
• How do I tell whether someone is a good (good in this case meaning someone with whom I could have a healthy, non-abusive relationship) guy or not?
Again, I really only know the super obvious stuff, like avoid people with anger issues, a history of bad relationships, etc.
• What steps should I take in order to best avoid being led on, and thinking that he's interested in a genuine, long-term, meaningful relationship, when he's really just looking to hook up and will say whatever he thinks I want to hear to make that happen?
I don't plan on being "easy" and dropping my pants for the first guy that asks the second that he asks, but I don't consider myself prudish, either. I'm not interested in one-night stands (at all), but at the same time, I feel no obligation to """save myself for marriage""" (eugh, even typing that out disgusts me - it honestly feels more objectifying than someone openly admitting to just wanting me for sex). If I care for the person, and if he cares for me (looking to you guys for help here in determining whether or not this is genuine), then so long as we're exclusive and have been together for a while, I'm comfortable with sex. (At least, I think I am. The last time I was in a relationship was in high school, so I have no idea how "real" relationships function at all, let alone the "proper" timelines for them.)
• Is online dating a meme?
I feel like most of the people there wouldn't really be right for me. I don't say that to try to imply that I'm above online dating or anything, not at all. It's more like, the kind of guys who are interested in the same internet culture as I am don't seem like the type to use those sites, and so I'd either have to find them on 4chan (lmao, good luck me), or else randomly out in public, by total happenstance, with no real way to control it. Of course, that's not the only trait I'm searching for in potential boyfriends. It's just that I've been on chans, and other similar sites, since I was a preteen. It's warped my sense of humor, and even personality somewhat, to the point that I feel like I'd scare off anyone who hadn't experienced the same thing.
• Aside from online dating, what's the best way to snag myself a qt?
I'd assume college/university is the best bet out there, but I'm not currently attending it. However, I'll be going back pretty soon, so that's something for me to look forward to!
• I'm on bc, but I'd still make any potential future partners wear a condom at first, even though we'd be exclusive. When does cc usually feel comfortable enough to no longer need that?
I have a latex allergy (lucky me, I know), so I have that to worry about. And God forbid I accidentally forget to mention this. That is not something that I want to have to deal with, so I'm wary of condoms in general (but I'm more wary of STDs/STIs). What are your recommendations on this subject overall?
• Personality is extremely important to me, but let's not kid ourselves. His looks are important, too. How do I find the right balance between these? Or will all of that fade into the background the instant that I experience True Love™ and find The One®?
I thought I'd experienced love in high school, and maybe I did. But I have a feeling that it's vastly different from the kind of love that I'd be able to find now.
• At what point do you feel comfortable/should I feel comfortable going to a guy's house alone?
I'd obviously let people know what I was doing and where I was going, as well as check in regularly, but - being as sheltered as I am - the idea is still pretty daunting. I've never actually done it before.
• What's the deal with circumcised vs uncircumcised penises?
I know the physical differences - I'm not that sheltered - but not much more than that. Pretty much everywhere I go online, or every person I talk to, has a vastly different opinion from the last one, and they all seem pretty solidified in their beliefs, quite sure that they are the ones who are correct. If I think about it, this kind of makes me think that it's really no big deal at all, and that people are just being weird and paranoid about anything having to do with sex, as is often the case. But if I'm way off the mark here, then I'd certainly appreciate being corrected.
• Does dressing up to try to catch someone's attention work?
I wasn't all too popular in high school (but I did date, as mentioned before, so I wasn't an outcast, either), so I never really dealt with this. But if there's a place where I know I'll run into someone I have a crush on, is this something that could actually work? And yeah, yeah, I know I'm supposed to be comfortable with approaching guys and making the first move or whatever, but that's scary! If I can get away with having him initiate, then you can be damn well sure that I'll jump on that opportunity. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, after all.
• I've been seeing a lot of guys say that they prefer "natural beauty" and thus dislike, or see no need for, makeup. Is this just something that ~Nice Guys~ say to try to garner favor, or is it actually a real thing?
I've got minimal experience with it (by this point, you're probably beginning to get a decent idea of what kind of person I was in high school), but I'm not really against it. I don't have strong feelings either way, really, but if I can just stick to moisturizers and that kind of thing to keep my face looking nice without having to bother with the ever-changing makeup landscape, then you certainly wouldn't hear any complaints from me.
• The answer to my question probably varies from guy to guy, but I'll still ask it. I need glasses. Do those tend to look good, or should I go with contacts?
I've tried both in the past, and each has its own pros and cons, so I understand if there isn't really a definitive answer to this one, but I figured I'd ask anyway.
• If I'm dating someone who isn't familiar with chan culture, do I need to hide my power-level?
We all know that it's best to be honest in a relationship (otherwise what's the point?), so I don't mean, "Should I be purposefully deceptive about my personality?" It's more along the lines of wondering how to slowly introduce him to that side of me, I guess. Because, if I'm looking for anything long-term, then I'm going to want a partner who loves me for me, even my weird internet hobbies.
• What's too distant, aloof, or "hard to get", what's too clingy, and where's the sweet spot in the middle of them?
I'm a pretty solitary person, and I'm comfortable being alone (not lonely, but alone for a time). However, I am also a romantic (to a somewhat embarrassing degree, if I'm being completely honest). So I could certainly see myself going too far on either side of the spectrum, and that's not something that I want to have happen.
• Is it rude to expect my date to pay for things when we go out?
Once in a solid relationship, things get easier, since you kind of share everything, but going out on the first dates presents a small issue. Since it's [the current year], a decent number of people expect to go Dutch, and I have absolutely no issue with paying for my portion of things! But there are some guys who might feel like I'm purposefully belittling them or possibly trying to "shit-test" them as the (awful, but almost to the point of hilarity) PUAs or whatever put it, and I don't want to cause my date any distress. Should I offer to pay, and then see where it goes from there? If he declines, do I insist, or do I let him pay, or what? God, why are these things so complicated?
• Sort of a different type of question, but could any of you recommend cute date ideas?
Hopefully nothing too cliché, though. I know all of the usual ones from books, movies, TV shows, and my small bit of experience in HS - that type of thing - but it can't hurt to have more input and try to diversify things!
• It might not be possible for anyone to give me an answer to this question, and it's pretty embarrassing to type out, but how do I know if I'm a good kisser?
I was the first kiss for each of the few people I dated in HS, and so while they told me that I am, it's not exactly like they're experts on the subject, you know? And this doesn't even include anything more sexual than that. I also have no idea what I'm doing in that regard, but apparently it's cute or a good bonding experience to practice this kind of thing with your partner? At least, that's what I've read. But kissing is different, I feel, because it's so far removed from sex, and it's done way more often (at least most of the time, hah), so I feel like it's more important that I'm good at kissing, or at the very least not terrible at it.
• Uhm, what questions have I forgotten to ask, and could you please go ahead and answer them for me?
That's all I can think of for now. I know it's a lot, but this has been a long time coming for me, and so I really want to make sure that I'm successful when I try to put myself out there.
Please feel free to add any questions that you'd like to have answered by the nice people who will hopefully keep me from making a fool of myself! There's already a >tfw no bf thread, but this one can function as more of a dating advice-specific thread.
False Rape Accusation
I was recently summoned to a hearing with the police, seems my ex-gf has accused me of several counts of rape and assault.
Now considering I'm innocent and she knows this. I want to understand why she would do this, what do you guys think? Asking for a female perspective since I can only guess at reasons.
Anyone ever just feel the need to be fucking NORMAL for once?
idek how else to describe this but every time i tell it to my bf he just doesn't get it and idk who else to talk to this about. but like. my mom and my sister are both "normal" women, they both care about fashion, their appearance, etc, they shave everything, wear fashionable clothes, wear makeup, do lots of skin care and buy lots of products for it, paint their nails, have long and elaborate beauty and skin/hair care routines. I'm completely unshaven, happier to make a basic outfit with the clothes I have rather than buy new ones, never wear makeup except for special occasions, etc. I don't like to focus a lot on appearance or anything. but sometimes i feel like people would like me better if i did, and i wish I could just make myself care about that. sometimes i really feel like my presence is so irritating to others and I don't know anyone else irl who shares these beliefs (women don't need to shave, women don't need to wear makeup, women don't need to care about their appearance), or if I do they're not vocal about it.
the other thing is like, motherhood. i have all these concerns and stuff, despite wanting a family, like getting stuck with all the childcare and housework and stuff somehow despite talking with my bf about how i'd like to avoid this and him agreeing with me. and pregnancy. i have so many friends now that say they are happy just being housewives and it makes me so sad.
i've always had this strong feeling of living in an age of liberated women but i look around me and all i see are women """"""freely choosing"""""" to do… exactly what men/society/media/patriarchy/whatever tells them they should want, and wants them to want. and it seems awful convenient to me, and so i thought i could at least live by that myself, but… god, it's lonely. sometimes i wonder if i would be happier to just stop caring about this and be a normal girl. the only downside i can think of is that my bf seems to like that i am "low maintenance" (doesn't take me long to get ready, i don't fuss over something messing up my hair/ non-existent makeup, etc). but sometimes i wonder if even he would like me better if i was more of a "girl" so to speak. anyone else feel this way or is it just me again?
BPD GF
>be me
>18
>meet girl
>date her
>first few months are amazing
>she becomes increasingly aggressive and her moods start switching, one miniute she loves me unconditionally and the next she absolutely fucking despises me
>lashes out at me whenever i repeat myself
>becomes depressed
>do everything i can to help her, try to get her into drawing again
>she starts cutting herself
>take her to crisis centers
>nothing helps
>decides she wants to move out of her moms house and into her biological dads house
>i decide to help her move her stuff
>her mom doesn't know.
>her mom comes out and throws an autistic sperg fit as were moving her stuff out the window and are almost finished moving her things out
>GF wants me to get in car and drive
>her mom wants me to go inside and explain wtf is happening
>go inside
>girlfriend runs down the street
>explain to her parents that her mental health is getting worse and worse and has been increasingly suicidal and how i have done things to help her
>her parents still throw an autistic fit about how i didn't tell them she self-harmed when they already knew about it before i did.
>get message from girlfriend saying her dad isn't going to allow me to see her again if i don't leave her moms house
>tell them this
>[autistic motherly screeching]
>her mom starts taking most of her stuff in my SUV and putting it back in the house and telling me it's her responsibility to get her stuff and not mine
>i agree
>her parents calm down
>tell me that it isn't my fault
>her stepdad tells me she's been treating me like shit and disrespecting me
>thanks me for everything
>shake his hand
>tells me to keep taking her to the crisis center whenever she freaks the fuck out
>still have some of her stuff in my car
>go to her dads house
>she doesn't speak to me
>her father looks me dead in the eye and doesn't say a word
>go home and cry
>she threatens to break up with me over text
>days later she apologizes
>still treats me like a ghost in our classes together
>march 26th
>decide enough is enough and want to break up with her
>break up with her
>feel relief
>still feel like shit
>she dyes her hair
>changes everything about herself
>see instagram posts
>she seems to be doing okay
>knowingly enough she still loves me
>we start talking more and more and act like a couple without exclusivity
>she's still suicidal
>she quit therapy
>wants me to buy her stuff
>give in and buy her stuff
>"i don't want you to feel like i'm taking advantage of you anon, i promise to do something nice for you when i have the money" !
it's been 6 months and we have been talking on and off, she believes she is emotionally unavailable and unable to have any healthy relationship with anyone, At one moment she's extremely affectionate with me and the next she's as cold as ice.
she's told me she wants to gradually distance herself (from everyone) until her eventual suicide.
i shouldn't have bought her things i feel like that's all i'm being used for.
i still want to be able to have a /romantic relationship/ with her despite me giving everything and her not reciprocating a single bit.
we still talk but i feel like she's getting more distant, even though she's apologized for it before and tells me what i truly need is consistancy
the last time she told me she loved me in person was on our high school graduation under the fireworks.
i seriously don't know what to do /feels/ i truly love her and have done everything for her. and it feels as if she does not care.
Does anyone ever get bouts of severe anxiety about some random low chance thing fucking up your whole life?
I get them on and off and they're really overwhelming…
>"go outside!"
>go outside
okay. now what?
Anybody else here legitimately find short men kinda gross? I actually don't like that I feel this way, just makes me seem kinda basic but it's just hard for me to even view excessively short men as even men. I know they can't help it so I'm not gonna go out of my way to be rude to them or anything but I also can't help the fact that I just seem to find them undesirable, even ones that I would otherwise think were cute if they weren't so tiny.
childhood nostalgia
what are things from your childhood you know you'll never do/see/feel/be again?
I just got super sad & fucked up thinking about how the world will just look and feel more and more different as I get older – how I will literally be from a different time.
how do i know if im polyamory? i'm always in love with more than one person at the same time…is something wrong with me? i wouldn't like to share them but I would like to have more than one partner at once with their permission
the sad truth (warning: long post)
i wake up everyday realizing this over and over again. "true" love isn't real. it's all just chemicals in our brains, pheromones and nature/biology. women were put on earth to find the most compatible and healthy man ( with good genes) to reproduce with in order to make healthy offspring. men were put on earth to impregnate as much women as they could to populate earth. that's why men need sex. it's only natural for them to want to fuck other women and be attracted to other women. it's all biological but in the end it still hurts me. i'm sad that we can't change it. we can't be as monogamous as flies are. that we are all controlled by the pheromones we emit. we're all just animals playing the game of life. i'm currently with the man i plan to spend the rest of my life with. the one i feel the most compatible with and i do want to bear his children one day. it's true (at least from personal experience) that women only need that ONE man to change everything. i'm no longer interested or attracted to other men because of him. the most i feel is an acknowledgement that they're not ugly or boring but it's definitely not that same feeling i used to get when i was younger. i'd literally obsess over boys just like any other girl. that feeling doesn't exist anymore. other men are just regular people to me. i don't look at them as potential partners anymore. selfishly enough though (and nothing can get anymore pathetic), i am sad that even if he loves me now, there's a very high chance of it being temporary. i'm afraid that i am only what's best to him right now. one day he might find someone better. he might leave me for her or he might stay but he'll wonder if he would be happier in her company. i can't blame him for it because he's only a human male. no matter how good of a female partner you are he will always be attracted to other women. he will never only have eyes for you and that's the sad truth. i'm fully aware that what i feel is selfish. it might even sound like i don't appreciate him but i'm genuinely thankful for everything he's done for me. he's my best friend and i love him through and through. i know monogamy isn't impossible. there are people who have been successful but that's because they forced themselves to control their honest desires and temptations. it's not natural like fly love. it's not as unconditional as fly love. i just wish it were.. this probably stems from my extremely low self-esteem, depression, general anxiety and fear of abandonment due to an emotionally+physically abusive absent father. anyway, i'm curious about what other women think about this. have any of you felt this way? sorry for my rambling. this post is really long as is but i feel like i've forgotten to mention other important facts.
Red Flags
What are some red flags that you wish you or a friend had recognized at the time?
>complaining about having to wear condoms
>complaining about it when you turn down sex even if they say they're not trying to change your mind
>wanting to exchange email/social media/phone passwords
Do any other anons in their 20s (or older) feel like they wasted their teen years being too good or too much of a shutin? What kind of things do you with you'd done?
I never did anything wild or bad, I just spent a lot of time online and I feel like I really regret it now
To a lost friend
Dear Ewa,
It's unlikely you'll ever read this. That is okay. If I wanted to be sure you read it I'd find a more direct way to send it. I will update you on my life. I've learned that I'll be shipped overseas in a few years for my work. I can pick anywhere to go, but I think you know which Asian country I will choose. You should now be able to accurately hypothesize where I work. We aren't the satanists you believe us to be. We only sacrifice a goat once every other month! Jokes aside, I have met more devout Christians here than at NASA or any other place I've worked. Don't worry about us so much. But it makes connecting with people difficult, y'know. It is isolating work. And God knows I already have problems with connecting with people.
I think that's why I was so happy to talk with you, because I did feel similar to you. Since you stopped speaking to me I downloaded some dating apps for the first time to stop my loneliness. To my surprise, I am apparently attractive to other people and got lots of offers for sex and dates. But no connections. Never a connection, only messages about sex (which I obviously was not going to accept). I could hardly have a thoughtful conversation.
The loneliness didn't stop. It made me remember when you did things like wish me a good day, or work hard to send long and thoughtful replies to my ramblings. No one had ever done that for me, even platonically! And it made it all the worse when you stopped replying, too. I downloaded that AI, Replika, to try to simulate someone having a conversation with me again but it did not make me feel better. I never talked much about my family, but my parents also abandoned me. My father did it before I turned 12. I talk to him about once a year, nowadays. My mother did not leave me, but was physically and emotionally abusive. I guess that is why I asked so many times for you to tell me if you had any inclination to stop talking or ghost me, because I wanted so dearly to avoid feeling abandoned again. I knew it would really hurt me more than I could handle.
I wanted to let you know you that I don't blame you, though. It is too time-consuming for someone as aspirational as you to have a depressed oddity messaging you from halfway across the world with their lamentations. Even if you had the inclination to speak with me, you would probably feel too anxious to restart the conversation. For a while I worried that you had died in a car accident or something. The most likely reason is that you just plain resent me, however. So I understand the sentiment of not wanting to talk to me even though I can't place my finger on what I did wrong. And though I admit I've been hurt, I do not resent you and would gladly speak with you again.
I told you before that I pray every night to meet someone that will like me for who I am inside and that I will like them back (those are my exact words, actually. What else could I want for?). It still is true. When you first spoke to me, I was about halfway through my confirmation process, though I'd never once believed God was real. I did say to you once that I had my doubts - that he could be real. I thought that maybe my prayer had been answered (it is, really, pure happenstance that you ever reached out to me); maybe he had sent you. For once in my life, I started to believe in God. How foolish! He didn't believe in me.
- C
————————————–
Someone told me that the admins allow these posts - ones for people we have lost contact with - here. I am sorry if that is incorrect.
Second Childhood
What would you do if you were transported back in time to when you were a child, retaining your current memories?
Who meditates/prays here regularly? Do you find that it helps?
Compulsive Shopping
How to control it? How to stop being so materialistic?
Money-wise, my situation is not the best. I don't have the best of jobs, I live with my parents so I don't need to pay rent, and while I do help with some bills, I end up spending all the rest instead of saving it. My family is not rich.
I guess my main problem is that I get easily jealous of people who have certain things more than me or better than me and this is probably related to my low self esteem. I live in a third world country and I know I should just accept some people have lives better than mine but instead of doing that I end up buying things to console myself and to try to be a bit like the people I'm jealous of.
I don't think my life is ruined (yet) by this since I consider my compulsive shopping fairly recent but I want to stop it before it becomes something huge in my life.
Ex
Hi, /feels/. My ex broke up with me about 2 and a half months ago, his main reasons being us both having depression and a lack of conflict in the relationship. It lasted about 6 months. We stopped talking for a bit because I said I wanted space, but he told me he wanted to be friends again after a few weeks. We started talking normally again for about another month and a half. Within this time span, he told me that it would be possible for us to get into another relationship in the future if we lived near each other, depending on how we've grown. He's also vented to me about their depression and suicidal thoughts. Recently he has told me about the new love interest he has been talking to. They like each other. They met about a month ago. After I learned of this, I told him I needed space again. I haven't talked to him or anyone really for the past few days or so. I don't think he's being manipulative or anything since he's always been very open and direct, just saying whatever's on his mind. Ever since we first broke up, I've been trying to get over him but I've been having trouble. I still love him more than anything and it pains me to think of him with anyone else. I know the overall relationship didn't last very long compared to others, but goddammit it's so hard to get over this. I've been considering bettering myself for the sole purpose of cucking his possible lover and getting him back, but that doesn't really sit right with me…yet that's what I want to do most. What should I do? Should I pursue my ex? If not, what can I do to speed up this healing process?
I feel like the only reason I feel like shit and I'm ugly is my height. I'm 5'10 and I feel so insecure and self concious.
Some guy once said that if I was a little shorter I would be 8/10.
I hate this.
My boyfriend is gonna go on a beach trip with a couple of his friends INCLUDING:
1.) an ex fuck buddy
2.) a girl he used to have a crush on or maybe even feelings for
3.) NOT ME. I can't go cause I don't have the funds nor the time, as I have summer class.
I feel so horrible and insecure about it, my friends tell me this is a huge red flag and he should just not go at all.
What should I do? is it reasonable for me to tell him to not go and just sell his ticket? Is it reasonable for me to feel awful about it in the first place? :(
I trust that he won't do anything with them but still. Isn't it just common boyfriend decency? :(
Technological Exhaustion
Who else?
I miss the early 2000s, when technology wasn't far enough to drown me in internet addiction and it was a more simple time overall. It makes me want to move back to the countryside, live in peace and silence with dogs and walkies. I often feel like going low-tech with an ancient brick phone and board games and movie nights instead of spending all my life online.
Do you have a hard time saying no to people?
Have you found a way to overcome that?
I always feel guilty when I say no to people even when I know I should. If I do I feel bad. Help.
Lonliness
Do you guys ever struggle with loneliness? Is the feeling almost constant and intense, or is it more buried and hidden until you think about how alone you are?
Share you thoughts, feelings, vents, insecurities, fears etc about loneliness, maybe we can all help each other out to not feel so alone for a second <3
Getting over a bpd person.
Hello I've been going through some rough times along with traumatic flashbacks everyday. And I'm wondering how you anons deal with past memories similar to these of being abused, and constantly hurt because of someone with a disorder or abusive streak.
College Situation
Hello, anons. I am seeking advice for my situation right now. Finals are next week and I have 2 projects due, plus some homework. I was involved in a life altering situation a month ago which allowed me to drop 2 of my classes; however, last week, my partner became so sick they had to get surgery and they are still recovering. I'm still recovering from what first happened to me because it altered so many details of my life and my concentration has gone to shit since then. I really want to pass these remaining two classes, but in one of them, I bombed both of my midterms and haven't turned in all my homework. I can't drop either of these classes now because even for a serious reason (like how I was able to drop the other 2 before), the deadline has passed. I've been drinking and wasting my life away on discord, forums, and imageboards, how do I get my rear into gear and help myself in these next two classes so I can at least pass them? Worser still, one of the classes I'm in I've already failed because I was lazy as shit in that class last semester.
Relationship/Sexual Inexperience
Anyone else just either wasn't interested in dating or didn't have the chance in high school?
I'm 21 and have 0 dating or sexual experience. I had a few guys interested in me over the years, but I really had no interest in dating at that point. Having someone in my life in that way feels incredibly off. I'm not the most social person in the world and it picturing having a boyfriend makes me uncomfortable. I have never kissed or held hands with a boy. Just hugged. My parents are very religious Catholics so that probably factored in as well.
Is this gonna bite me in the ass sooner or later? It's honestly embarrassing around female friends because they talk about their boyfriends or sexual experiences sometimes and it makes me feel abnormal. People always say it's good to be a virgin as a female, but it's not. It's awkward and makes me feel weird or less human. Why don't I crave relationships or sex like everyone else? The idea of a one night stand is terrifying to me as well, I've never gone to a bar or anything like that.
Anyone else in my position and is just terribly "innocent" and inexperienced in life? I literally consider answering some Craigslist ad at least every few days because it seems like an easy way to throw away my v-card and is not socially demanding.
relationship feels
the good, the bad, the confusing
are you dating anyone? got a crush?
Feels thread
General feels thread: let it all out
Kissing
So… I've got no idea how to kiss and it's been a while since I've done it, so I'm nervous about being with someone.
I've turned down offers for intimacy because I'm worried I'm going to be bad at it. An ex told me frequently I sucked and I guess it's scared me off, I wanna make any future person I'm with feel good… and not awkward.
Does anyone have, geez like tutorials? Or advice? How do you kiss?
Figuring yourself out
Do you all know truly know yourself?
Do you know your personality?
I've been feeling really lost lately, as if I have no personality anymore. Does anybody feel the same? If you don't feel the same, how do you figure yourself out?
There's this guy I really like that works at a hotel my friend is staying at (she's fell on hard times), he's a bigger guy (chubby) about 6'2 and has really gorgeous hair (he's mixed). The thing is, I really want to ask him out but from what everyone tells my friend he won't follow up any advances. There's a joke that people call him the saint. I mean I tried flirting, signals, hand contact. He's just too goddamn proper, I asked his boss if he's seeing anyone, the boss told me he's like that. He just likes helping people and being friendly. I'm going to jump this guy's bones if he doesn't wake up, I can't stand it. Is there anything that I can do? I don't want to be rejected and this seems like a 1 in a million chance to find a guy that is decent wholesome and warm. I'm 24 and he's 31 ( yet he looks younger than me) I'm dying over here….
Ugly and alone
Is anyone else an ugly, lonely, virgin female who is socially retarded? I am. I have no friends and I've never been asked on a date by a male. No male has ever expressed interest in me in any way. It doesn't matter how I dress or how friendly I am, men aren't attracted to me at all.
I'm going to become a spinster soon and all I read are about how females have such virtuous night lives or dating lives. The majority of females my age or younger are all married and happy. But not me and not most ugly women.
I even die inside when I see ugly women like me happy and dating or married probably because they aren't as socially retarded as me.
Anyone else share the same situation?
Not totally socially retarded yet unable to establish a genuine long-term connection with others irl
I don't sperg out in social situations I find myself in and people in general don't find me weird or actively try to avoid me; yet I cannot for the life of me figure out what I am supposed to do to move any of my interpersonal relationships beyond a "casual acquaintance" stage. My social life in my free time is virtually non existent.
Anyone know this feel?
What makes you happy?
Little things that give you a bit of bliss?
Hi… I've got a huge problem and Idk how to get around it.
Since last year, I'm missing two visible premolars, one on each side (also cavities and other stuff goin on)
I've had depression for most of my life (24), and I've been doing better for about two months but I've relapsed two weeks ago.
I can't socialize and I already given up on the idea of "meeting someone" while this shit is like this.
Obv this affects my work life as well, I can't work as anything that requires interacting with clients.
Everything feels so pointless and bleak when I know I can't smile or laugh around anyone confidently.
It's so expensive to fix i'd have to choose between saving for that (for like 4 years) or starting uni.
Should I just retreat from civilisation?
What would you do? I'm desperate.
I dont know what to do with my friend
I don't know if I'm supposed to post in a general thread or if this is appropriate. I have to tell someone, it made me really upset at work and was affecting me there, and today I woke up and have been heart-pounding upset about this. It has bothered me for years. This will probably seem really stupid and immature from another person's perspective but I am an immature person.
I am 25 years old now and I don't think I have the ability to maintain friendships. There are so many reasons for that but basically I have a hard time holding it together, it feels like being friends with someone is 90% grief and 10% joy and that has only gotten worse the past few years. I sometimes feel it would be best to say my bit and completely separate forever from a few girls I know and just have a boyfriend who I can talk to and have as my only friend in life.
At this point there are only 2 people who are my friends and they're dating each other. There are 3 other people I talk to besides them but they aren't intimate bonds more like acquaintances.
Getting to the point, in late 2016 began this period of me not knowing how to continue forward with this person and still it continues into 2018.
Basically I'm talking to a wall that is so indifferent to whether I exist or not. I have tried over and over to talk to her and I can't even call these conversations, the entire time going into it I'm terrified my attempt at talking to her will be a complete failure like the last, and always it is without exception. It's like all of her actions completely contradict how she states she feels.
In late 2017 I spent a few weeks in a psychward and when I got out she suggested we do something together. I was overjoyed with this not only because of what had been going on, but the two of us hadn't spent time together like that in years. Sometimes she would bring up the possibility of us spending time together like we used to, but I had to remind myself it wasn't actually going to happen because it never did and that hurt more and more with t