bf attracted to other girls
am i supposed to just accept that every guy is going to be attracted to other girls, even while he’s in a relationship with me? people say it’s normal, but honestly, it really hurts. i wish it didn’t get to me, but it does. my boyfriend always follows hot egirls on social media and sometimes even talks about how hot he finds them, celebs or not. it hurts. and yeah, even when it’s a celebrity, it still stings. i don’t really see a difference between him saying that about a famous girl or some everyday girl. it still makes me feel like shit. i’m struggling to come to terms with this ‘norm’, but it feels like i have to. seems like every guy is like this, and there’s no escaping it. it honestly makes me feel sick. what am i supposed to do?
HOW DO I STOP CARING
I’ve come to a brutal but necessary conclusion: kindness is overrated when handed out like free samples at a grocery store. I’ve spent years marinating in people-pleasing, thinking empathy was some kind of moral currency. Plot twist — it’s not. In practice, being an open nerve ending only gets you exploited. People don’t respond to kindness; they respond to boundaries. Harsh truth: excessive agreeableness is not virtue — it’s social self-sabotage.
I simp for validation like a lab rat pressing the dopamine lever, and it’s pathetic. It’s classic intermittent reinforcement — a core concept in behavioral psychology — where unpredictable rewards (a compliment, a message back) condition you to keep chasing. It’s the same mechanism that keeps gamblers at the slot machines, and I’ve basically been gambling my self-worth on other people’s approval.
I’ve also been stuck in a victim identity loop. That’s where you start romanticizing your suffering, treating pity as a currency, and staying small because pain becomes familiar. It’s textbook learned helplessness with a side of digital masochism. No more. Self-pity is a trap disguised as self-awareness. I’m done wearing trauma like a personality badge.
A few days ago, I trusted two people on a new account — max security, minimal exposure — and still got doxxed. That’s not just betrayal, it’s stupidity on my part.
Bottom line: Empathy without discernment is emotional self-harm. Validation-seeking is a rigged slot machine. And kindness? It needs a filter, not a floodgate. I’m done being a walking weakness detector for predators online. New arc: ruthless, aware, emotionally sovereign.
How do I stop compulsively empathizing and people-pleasing when I know it’s just a maladaptive trauma response dressed up as kindness, and how do I unhook my brain from chasing validation like it’s crack? How do i stop caring?
when i was a kid an older girl touched me. i liked it. something is wrong with me. i knew at that young age that i shouldn't have and that it was wrong but i liked it.now im a pervert and i think its because of this.i was exposed to sexual content as a child.i liked doing bad things and now in my adult life im still like that and i enjoy ding bad or dirty things.i dont know what to do with myself.
the girl that made fun of me became a lolcow
i'm not gonna get into a lot of details about my personal experience with her because it's years of information that's not actually important and i was not her main victim.
the fact is that i had a negative experience with her, she exposed me on facebook (you can track how long ago it was just because of that) and since she had a lot of simps they all attacked me. it really affected me since i was already insecure and depressed, it made me isolate myself and since we shared social spaces i preferred to simply abandon them just to not face her again. objectively what i supposedly did to her didn't deserve such response on her side since it was ridiculously minimum.
its been years of that, i matured but that event was always stuck on my mind like something that just happened and from time to time I checked her on socials to see what she was up to.
last year she became a famous meme in my country for saying she had a korean relative (false), so that lead to her being exposed for lying, SA, animal abuse, trying to sell content to minors, filming content with a minor and the list goes on.
People make fun of her, she had lots of YouTube videos dedicated to her, also she has a lot of health problems who had lead to develop necrosis on her fingers and lost part of them, she's going through a tough time right now. she's still very delusional but she's doing really bad health wise and had a lot of people making fun of her on the daily.
and im happy about it lol. what she did to me is minimal compared of what she did to others, but i can't find compassion inside of me to empathize with her, seeing her struggling and having a harsh time makes me feel better, so i constantly check her socials since she call herself and influencer and it's chronically online checking on her haters. i also check all the pages dedicated to expose her on IG.
I'm a bad person for that ?
Are men evolving to a sociopathic hivemind?
This is a genuine question, because I can't fathom any other reasoning. Courting is dead, it's gone. In no particular order the following occurs: love bombing, ghosting, mirroring, hot/cold method. Even my friends who fit the patriarchal male gaze to an absolute T (virgin, quiet, submissive) are getting stepped on. It seems like all or nothing, there is no slow progressional vetting before a clear decision is made. Many other girls around me in my career and academia have given up on the idea of marriage and children. The ones that haven't tend to have a man-child tier boyfriend or they're accepting to be chronically cheated on.
The ideology that women have to be top 1% of females to deserve a male counterpart that doesn't wreck havoc on livelihood and minds is insane. I've talked to many boomers and they agree something is universally wrong; we are no longer just homemakers, but we have the ability to be that and MUCH MUCH more, how are we all fundamentally somehow "never enough" for them?
how can i make up for all the time ive lost being ugly?
all my life ive been the social stereotype of ugly. overweight, acne, frizzy hair, hyperpigmentation, etc. never been bullied but received a joke here and there which made me held back from interacting romantically with my peers all my life. ive been fixing that for a couple years now and im quite comfortable with how i look now but ive have missed out everything romantically. don't know how to talk to men, ive never been in a relationship, im a virgin which is embarrassing at my age (26) and i think im hopeless since i already missed out the years were ive should have learned that stuff.
last year i got diagnosed with autism and adhd but im currently on therapy and meds and i don't think that's a big deal since ive seen girls with the same diagnose doing just fine socially.
This makes me feel like shit tbh, sometimes i just think about how bad i want to be loved and wanted and now that my physical appearance isn't in the way is the fact that i don't know shit.
What do you do when you never feel quite yourself? I know everyone has different personas. Who you are at work, or with friends, or around family. But I think most people have a base. I think most people know who they are at their core. But what do you do when you have no clue? I never feel like myself. Often I feel like there isn't a 'me' at all. Everytime I think I've found myself I realize it's another layer of deceit.
Unsent Letter Thread
Previous Thread >>2119
how do u be a better person and develop empathy no joke. without speaking to anyone except my boyfriend ever (no glue no borax) i treated him so horrible i just want to give him everything he deserves hes helped me so much in life hes saved me but i keep lashing out at him and blaming him because everything feels so wrong in my head and idk what to do he said im a narcissist but idk how to fix that therapy isnt an option because every single time ive gone ive been completely enabled and it was horrible, im not conscious at all of my bad traits either i grew up isolated as fuck im too socially retarded to even realize doesssanyone else get that what do we do nonaz
This happend a week ago I can't stop thinking about it and im so depressed. So after work I asked this guy if he wanted to do something on our day off he just " no sorry I am busy" no problem right!? The next day the manager called me " sorry I am going to let you go because one our workers doesn't feel comfortable around you" this was probably my worst rejection ever I already got over him, but it was my job man my livelihood. Now I am here worrying about money and still job hunting… the job market is so bad. This is probably the most depressing summer yet and it's my birthday tomorrow don't feel like celebrating it. Just hopefully dying in my sleep. I hate being alone.
pros/cons of your bf
can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.
i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!
massive used laptop almost for free
when i see allegedly intelligent people at university with their stupid 1000€ to 2000€ laptops it gives me the creeps. they pay so much to have the latest tech plus they subscribe to programs and apps and services. screens at ridiculous high resolutions, that's how they trick em. these laptops are designed to be difficult and expensive to repair.
meanwhile i bought a used thinkpad with a large screen that even has a numpad, which i appreciate for typing numbers🥳🥳🥳. how much did i pay you wanna know of course: 150€. that's a tenth of what the average hoe or hustler is paying for theirs and what can they do with their machine that i can't? nothing. i can't think of one thing. i don't get it. i guess they don't know. anyways consumers gonna consume, hooray for me. i am currently writing this on the big screen.
would love to hear about your wise techchoices but please don't talk about your apple products or your other consumer-grade disgraces
I feel like I'm so ugly without makeup. Even after being showered in compliments. I get many compliments from unattractive men. I never get any from men that are good looking. Tinder, instagram, real life
How do I cope?
The whole phenomenon of this dude is proof that standards/body-shaming/fatphobia don’t exist for males. If the original post had been of a woman it would be like any other post and be lost to time. But because someone had the audacity to try to socially enforce any rock bottom, bare minimum physical standard for the sacred male, everyone threw a fit and he got a whole media festival of events, money and opportunities thrown at him for weeks on end. In real life a female is torn to shreds for not spending most of her mental energy on appearances, but something as febrile as “hey maybe a male shouldn’t be so fat he can barely walk” is completely socially unacceptable and would get you fired while every handmaiden within ten miles performatively throws themselves on his gangrenous fat-entombed micropenis.
Tired of Things not Working out for Me
Just graduated college and nothing’s really worked out how I hoped. High School especially, but also college to some degree, were rough for me socially. Barely got attention from guys most of my life. Started getting some over the past year, but it's mostly been disasters. One dude was a Letterboxd freak who tried to touch me, stood me up, and publicly wrote weird, angry stuff about me on his account. Tried Hinge—been on multiple dates recently and they’ve all been awful. One guy got mad at me for not thinking Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is deep art and “representative of the human condition” and then started playing alone on a playground mid-date.
I’ve moved back to my hometown and have been doing a 9 to 5 ever since graduation. I tried auditioning for a band and signing up for an art class to make life feel less mind numbing, but the band rejected me and the class guy never replied. I've tried using bumble bff but I don't have much time to text so most people lose interest quickly. I live with an alcoholic dad who screams at me and puts me down, and the house is literally full of black mold. I kind of had a couple of friends in college (none that really returned my efforts fully), but here, I have pretty much nobody except for one person who I rarely ever see. I had to break up with my ex of a few months before leaving my college town, partially because of the move. He was really the only guy I’ve ever gone out with who I felt was decent and with who there was a mutual effort involved at the very least. I tried messaging him recently and it wasn’t a bad conversation but it felt very sterile—almost like he never actually cared in the first place.
Just feel like I’m rotting in a cubicle for 8 hours a day, living in a horrible house, with no hope of ever having a proper boyfriend or even my own apartment (with the rent prices around where I live). I know this sounds dramatic but I seriously don’t know what I’m doing. I feel completely cooked.
feeling trapped in my relationship
I really need advice on what to do and how to proceed. I feel so stuck and like I can't leave this relationship. This is my first relationship ever and she's around 4 years older than me and has had multiple previous relationships that I feel like she's still not over. Initially in our relationship, all we would talk about would be her exes and how bad they were to her and a lot of information about her time with them, mostly bad things. She would still start her diary entries with her first ex's birthday, who she started dating in highschool. And most importantly talk about how leaving those relationships wrecked her emotionally. She has a very strong fear of abandonment that I just feel so trapped by. I had rejected her multiple times in the beginning but she kept pursuing me and I feel like I gave in to a relationship I never wanted.
I don't know if any of that matters now. I just don't know what to do, I feel so miserable in this relationship and whenever she talks about how she wants to be with me forever I just feel this paralyzing wave of anxiety and fear. I've performed complete self-abandonment. She says things like she wouldn't have survived this or that without me, I'm the only thing keeping her going, the only light in her life, and it just keeps me in this relationship. She's implied many times she will be extremely damaged if I leave and try to hurt herself, and that's not just jokes because after her last relationship ended, she tried to take her life and also on multiple occasions put her safety in jeopardy, fell into a drinking and drug problem (which she has since managed to heal from), and when we were first talking, she had also been talking to her ex, and from all she's told me, she's basically never been single since she was 16. I've always been single and I really enjoy my solitude and I want it back. I'm just so scared, this relationship makes me cry everyday. Recently she could tell I'd been extremely out of it emotionally, and we had a talk about being honest to each other and 'forgetting' our mistakes of the past. That include her discussing opening our relationship, said she 'felt something' for some moid, telling me she can't rely on me for jack because I fell asleep late at night instead of checking on her because she was out drinking with friends, among other things.
I don't even care about all that. I do love her and care about her a lot. I just don't know what to do but this relationship is eating at me. I feel like I'm responsible for her wellbeing, she says she's 'holding on' for me, and it's just too much. So I just pretend everyday. I'm not a good person either for not being honest and keeping her hopeful, like that's so evil.
What do I do? I feel definitely I'm the bad person in this relationship, because she's honest and I'm not. And I should've spoken out earlier and it's kind of too late now, and I'm scared how she will take care of herself if we separate and how her trust in me and being betrayed will hurt her so much and make her future relationships tainted.
I refuse to be friends with vegans anymore. I had a party, made fixings that were pricier than the other food to accommodate the vegan and she didn't even make it or give a heads up. Said before hand she would come, ended up posting photos on social media that same day where she was out on the town. She's also apparently a rich girl that's only ever used me as a sounding board for her shitty boyfriend that she'll do everything to fix except leave. And you know, blow me off. Bring your own food, asshole. I wish she knew she was a spoiled brat before I wasted my time.
Why do people get married only to cheat or divorce? Shouldn't they know if they're happy to be together BEFORE they get married?
I wish all men looked like this
should I go back to being a wagie
I always wanted to be a writer (yeah, I know), but I went into STEM because it seemed the more practical choice. Throughout undergrad, I spent all of my free time writing short stories, random experimental pieces, and fanfiction. Frankly, I took it more seriously than my actual work. Now, due to cognitive dysfunction caused by severe mental illness, I can barely do my real job at all. I'm still able to write, albeit much slower; it's all I've been doing while on medical leave. Now, my leave is about to end. I'm worried that I still won't be able to do my job (I've only just begun to see minor results from treatment), but my main concern is that the extreme stress of my job will keep me from writing (like it did before I went on leave). I hated my job even before I started having health issues, since the work environment is hostile to women and the job itself is at once both stressful and soul-crushingly boring. What should I do? My degree is in mathematics and math is what I'm having the most trouble doing right now, so I don't even know what other job options would be good for me. I was thinking of just going back to being a wagie so I can spend my free time writing. I have no illusions about the likelihood of becoming successful as a writer, but at least I'd be able to do what I enjoy. I am open to other suggestions, though.
What is the difference between love and mental illness? Because my friends tell me I'm unironically nearing the latter; to keep it short I seemingly can't forget about my high school ex bf for some reason even though I'm nearing 30, we talk on and off very sporadically over text but I'm the one that always starts the conversation and I my friends tell me I'm coming off as almost begging for him to come back with me but he always tells me no, in fact I know very little of him after we turned 20. Yes I have dated other men, yes I know it's pathetic, no he's not manipulative, but every time I keep making this alternate reality in my head about going back in time and having this idealistic life with him; I had this cringe moment with my mom some years ago because he came up in the conversation and I told her I would come back with him if he wanted and she just gave me this look of me being silly lol
how do you come to terms with being too ugly to be loved? how do you accept that you're never going to experience the rush of a passionate relationship? how do you accept that no man will ever be able to look you in the eyes and tell you you're beautiful? how do you live with the fact that even if you found someone its better to leave it at that so you don't have children that will suffer just as you have? i feel so stuck and isolated, ive been isolated my entire life. i dont have the social skills neccessary to be a "personality" "as long as youre happy" girl, so even if i could be seen past that it would amount to nothing. there is nothing i could offer someone past the looks i dont have.
oh and before anyone says some "just improooooove" i starved myself and gymratted to the lowest weight ive ever been, to my peak physique, nothing changed. nothing improved. my bones are completely wrong. this is not a problem i can fix and its getting harder and harder to live with. without love there is no future, our purpose is boiled down to reproducing, continuing our bloodline, finding love. its not something i'll ever be able to do. it's over and done.
My bf's photo was found on a dating app
Basically a girl hit me up sending me an unverified profile of a dating account with my bf's name and photo on it.
He hadn't had the app installed on his phone since 2022 nor did he have an account when he redownloaded the app to check the profile.. but it still weirds me out that there is a dating profile with my bf's details on it?!?!
It feels so scary, like a bad omen as we've only been dating for like a month..
what would you do in my situation?
i'm led to believe that it's either an ex trying to split us up, or maybe an enemy of his also trying to achieve the same thing…. but in the back of my mind i feel like an idiot and the wool is being pulled over my eyes but i just don't know what to think.
I do believe my bf is innocent because when i confronted him he seemed worried rather than angry so idk
Disillusioned. Spent a large part of my life being inclusive to people who are "different" because of feeling like an outcast in childhood. Shit just blows up in my face. I don't consider myself GC or anything like that but I am noticing a sickening pattern.
Why is it that nearly every trans woman I've befriended or have to work with has caused absolutely fucking chaos in my life and acted like they were the poor little victim when I called them out on it. I can't talk about this shit anywhere or I'm a bigot apparently.
I remember when I came out as bi to my friends over a decade ago, my family somehow found out, and then it was a total fucking nuclear explosion of issues. I was ostracized in my small town for something I didn't even want to be known publicly. But now it's some bizarre purity test to be some flavor of queer and if I don't mention it I don't deserve respect?… Maybe it's because I'm so past that point, but my orientation is such a small part of my life and has little to do with how I view the substance a person has.
I don't want to dictate how other people live, whatever you want to do go for it. But I've been used, stalked, screamed at, and professionally sabotaged by people like this more often than the rest of the population, totally unprovoked. Ten in a row is insane and a pattern. I rarely get treated this way elsewhere. Even the men I work with are decent and kind in comparison.
My boss will be pretty assertive with anyone except the trans women on our team. I was being creeped on by one of our clients and one of the trans women basically sabotaged my safety. The other sabotaged me at a public event. Boss just shrugs her shoulders when I bring this up and is way too nice to them. Says some shit about second puberty and calls it a day. What's worse is I think her processing is skewed because she has a trans daughter that's financially and emotionally abusive to her. She is an elderly disabled woman, and I feel like they're only getting away with this because she's walking on eggshells. It hurts to watch because I'm also disabled and was abused by my family for it. But her daughter just gets away with it because “she's going thru a hard time.” That's not love.
Weren't we still expected to have accountability while we were going thru puberty?? I'm so sick of this bs without being able to talk about it.
What do I even do? Who do I even talk to?…
Vent Thread
Previous thread >>117577
Abusive OCD bf pt 2
>>>/feels/34633
Last thread hit limit and many nonas seem concerned for her safety.
If you see this, we hope you are ok! Please give us an update on the police situation.
do any other nonas feel like they’re consistently the most enthusiastic and engaged person in a friendship? I feel like if I just stopped messaging and stopped going out of my way to be a good friend everyone would leave me. sometimes I think I may have bpd, or I’m just crazy. maybe both!
I was suddenly blocked by a friend a few days ago. A long-ish time ago we had a romantic situation. It wasn't dating. It was mostly just a tiring game of push and pull. We both manipulated and took advantage of each other's emotions. But recently we became friends again. I'm not as bothered as I feel I should be, because I mostly became friends with him again out of guilt. But now I'm honestly a little annoyed and very confused. I showed him some of my writing, and he said it was good, but the next day he had blocked me. I think he may have read some of the main characters thoughts and assumed they were my own, and that I was somehow inadvertently talking about him. He's very full of himself and assumes he knows everything about people like some sort of arm chair therapist, so that wouldn't shock me. Not really looking for advice cause theres nothing i can do lol
sister being very dumb
every day i learn more that my younger sister is insane lmao, she constantly exaggerates our home life on reddit and makes it sound like we're being abused by our parents. she almost fell for what was possibly a trafficking scheme related to getting her to run away and STILL hasn't learned her lesson
she's nineteen, by the way. and apparently also thinks she's a trans boy despite being much more feminine than me. i'd fuck up my relationship with her forever if i told our parents but i just want her to not do any stupid shit. it feels like there's nothing i CAN do though, i wouldn't want to be 'unsupportive' since i don't share her delusions
/rock bottom/ - general
This thread is for people who have hit rock bottom. Not people who are having a bad day, but people who are living in the depths of despair. Whether you're a nona who is struggling with serious addiction, mental or physical illness that severely precludes your life, constantly feeling suicidal, whether you're being abused, have any other serious life issues or if you are simply unable to function and don't know where else to turn, vent here and let's try to support each other.
how to be more empathetic?
i won't say i struggle with empathy, because i can recognize when people are sad and need to be comforted. however, whenever people vent to me, i'm not really sure what to say. if someone told me their grandma died, i would be able to recognize that is bad, and give them a "sorry for your loss", and that's about it. i can't relate to them either, because i didn't really care about any of my grandparents who died.
usually i wouldn't really care, but my girlfriend vents to me, and it makes me feel bad when i can't think of anything appropriate to say.
GID + being WlW
I'm strugglin with my gender identity so much. It's eating me alive. On top of that, I am becoming increasingly convinced that I am WlW. I used to think that I was bi because I feel attracted to some men in animanga and I thought eventually I would meet someone like that irl but I think it's not gonna happen…I want to be with a woman, but I am also not really interested in the dynamic that a WlW relationship provides. I want to take test and transition so bad but I am rather short and my hair is already very thin and I would just look grotesque.
I think that, at this point, even people that know me irl can feel something isn't quite right beyond just being bi. I get the impression that new women I meet can sort of tell that I am attracted to them but am hiding it. When I am in a good mood, I think that I could handle a relationship with a moid, especially if his libido was low and we'd never have sex, but just having to perform femininity for them and having to be "the little spoon" makes me hate myself, I do not think I could be in a relationship like that without unaliving myself. But I want to have kids and I kinda think that having a bf is the closest I could come to living as a man…
I'd really appreciate it if I could talk with a nona here a bit more about this, I am too afraid of word going around to tell anyone irl. I will go to a therapist/psychologist at some point, but I can't for at least the next several months as I in the process of moving and my housing changes often.
What makes someone boring?
I know that I am a boring person but I just don’t know how to be interesting. I have a decent amount of friends and can handle conversations and be a fun presence when I’m with a group of friends, but in a 1 on 1 conversation I’m just dull as dishwater. When I talk with people 1 on 1, I can barely maintain back and forth speaking and I can tell the other person is not at all interested in what I am saying.
I’m not expecting some silver bullet for my problem that will instantly make me interesting but just stuff like better habits? I don’t even really know. I just want to be more interesting, and really what I want is to be able to get close with my friends. Sure I’m a fun member of my friend groups but no one really knows me and I can feel really lonely because of that sometimes.
To the people telling this woman to abort: shame on you
What is "good sex" like to you?
How do I make friends that aren't brain rotted by TikTok
I don't mind a lil brain rot myself but this is a very particular brainrot that involves medical misinformation and viral contagions. It's turned multiple friends from fascinating individuals into a frightening amalgamation of micro tends. I feel like I can't talk to these people on a true personal level and don't say 'just find different people' because they're everywhere. This has happened in different cities and states over the years but I've only really noticed it more during and after the pandemic. Wtf does a bitch gotta do to find a real one
should i delete a whole conversation?
Ive ended up confessing to my friend, and we have been going back and forth these last two days.
I wanted to clarify some stuff he wrote because it wasnt clear to me if he didnt like me that way or if he was just scared of being in a relationship.
He told me that even though he did appreciate me, he wasnt looking for that in me and were just friends. I asked why he didnt look for that in me, that I could even change and be what he wants, but he hasnt replied or even looked at the text yet.
I wonder if I should just delete the whole thing and pretend it never happened, I feel like Im just pathetic and without dignity.
I am pregnant
I found out a week ago that I am pregnant.
I am married, have been for 2 months to my husband who I have been with for 3.5 years now.
I am scared.
Right now I am the sole breadwinner of the house and I don't even make that much money. Enough for bills but hardly enough for anything else and slowly have been draining my savings.
He doesn't work. He had a good paying job but left it to pursue school 6 months ago. And what he is in school for I honestly don't think he has a future in.
Other than the financial struggles, neither of us are ready to be parents.
I think I could handle being a Mom, but I do not want to be a Mom. I am not ready for a lifetime commitment yet. I wanted to enjoy being newleyweds longer.
He is not ready to be a Dad. Emotionally immature.
The reality is slowly dawning on me on how hard this will be for us and I am really distraught. We are broke and I am married to a man who literally cannot handle fatherhood. I am terrified.
At first I thought I would be excited for a baby but I am more scared, mostly because of ny husband being unprepared. I know he couldnt support us but I know one of us will have to stay home with baby all day.
I just dont know what to do.
how do i tell my boyfriend murdering me is bad for the economy?
i tried making small talk yesterday
i'm a confirmed autist.
i know my parents want me to be more social, so i've been trying to at least make some small talk.
last night i went to eat dinner with them.
my dad asked how my day was. i said it was good and asked how his was.
he responded by mimicking my voice in a mocking tone.
i didn’t say anything, and just went back to my room.
i made ramen on my hotplate and went to bed.
this morning my mom told me she called him out for it.
he got pissy and said i was "disrespecting him" with my tone.
then he got angry at her for defending me and left for a while.
i asked my mom why she wanted to be with someone like that for the rest of her life and she just said "relationships have highs and lows."
just thinking about it makes me depressed.
> try to do what people want
get mocked
> don't do what people want
disappoint them
what’s the point.
I want an AI/robot bf so badly
>will not have any flaws, never make any mistakes
>will have perfect and pretty facial aesthetics
>will have a muscular build
>will never bald
>taller than average w a bigger than average dingdong
>will be completely loyal to me
>never cheat, can't experience attraction to another person than myself, has zero interest in anyone but me
>can never disrespect or abuse me
>completely honest and full og integrity
>will do all the household chores for me
>will never be contradictory or inconsistent
>never hypocritical
>will give me daily massages
>always tries to make me happy
girls I'd love this man with ALLLL of my heart. why can't they be a reality right now. theyd be perfect both in looks and personality. Men can't compete
Anyone else here schizoid?
Prayer Thread
For yourself, for others, for the world, any way you want to pray.
asexual/low libido with a girlfriend who isn't?
i somewhat recently got into a relationship with a girl that i've known for a while. i've had talks with her before we started dating about how i'm not really interested in relationships, but that has (obviously) changed since i met her. i really like her, and i'm in no doubt about my feelings for her. but, now that we're together, she's made somewhat flirty comments about my body, or hinted at sexual things. i don't mind that she does it, and if anything i find it sweet that she views me in that way. the problem lies in that i'm very low libido, arguably asexual. i'm not repulsed by the idea of sex, or having sex with her, but i really have no need for it. it's not really my thing. if she asked me to, i'd do it for her, but i'm pretty indifferent.
how do i break the news to her?
my boyfriend used to be a porn addict and it makes me miserable
I feel like being a woman who likes men it's so humiliating, why am I madly in love with someone who used to comment weird stuff to onlyfans models? how am I attracted to someone who used to jerk off to anime girls with dicks??
He also likes rough sex, I developed a "fetish" for this too, but it makes me feel so bad that I always end up crying after. The worst part is that he also started slapping me and hitting me outside of sex, I feel so miserable and unlovable
>Never have had a friend
>Never had a group of girlfriends to vibe with
>Never had a boyfriend or guy friends to do guy stuff with
>Feel used by people constantly
>People only want to talk about themselves, their life, their problems
>Unless it's about them or related to them, they literally don't care
>You have to care about their life / problems / passions but they don't care about yours
>You want to support, hype them up, be there for them but they're never there for you
>Every friendship / relationship feels one-sided where you care about them but they won't ever care about you
>Share something about your life, and people don't care, unless they can make it about themselves somehow
>Feels like people only like what they can get from you or how you make them feel
>People always say I look sad or upset
What is being in love- real love, not infatuated or forcing to try to find the good in a relationship, actually like for you?
how to stop being mentally ill in my relationship?
it's been some time since i've started officially dating a girl that i've been friends with for a while. we're pretty close, and i love her more than i can really put into words. but, i've been struggling with anxiety in our relationship. if she doesn't text me back within an hour, i start to get anxious and worry that she's mad at me. even if she has a totally reasonable excuse that she's told me beforehand, i still worry. do to something that happened between us in the past, i have a really serious fear of her leaving me.
how do i stop myself from getting anxious and worked up when she doesn't text me back? something i do now is deleting instagram, so i don't have to worry about getting a notification that she's texted me. it helps a bit, but i still can't help but worry.
Tempted to contact ex who harassed me
It’s wrong and I know we’re over but I want to talk to him again I miss his giggles. His softness. His jokes. What can I do to stop this feeling….
Anyone else just accept the fact that they'll never have a husband and kids? How do you cope?
sometimes it feels less lonely to be alone
My boyfriend possibly has a fetish for maids. What should I do? Should I be worried about this?
How do you deal with hopelesness for the female species
Everyday it's more clear to me that women will never be free, it makes me feel suicidal even. We are nothing but pets and will NEVER stop being pets, even if that were to happen I'll be dead by that time. What the fuck do you do from here that isn't giving up?
>You need to modernize
>If you dont get tiktok/twitter/facebook then how will you socialize with others huh silly?
I LOVE RAGEBAITING PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET
I LOVE RAGEBAITING IS SO MUCH FUN LOL. its funnier when they actually fall from the bait and insult me back. I get my daily serotonin from dumb people that believe everything on the internet LOL
falling back into agoraphobia
it is summer once again..
i know it is pathetic but it took so much courage for me to enroll in college after living as a recluse for so many years. the transition was a horrible shock to me and i do not think i ever really adjusted. for some reason i had it in my head that if i could just go outside every day and go to school i would be "normal" again.. i know now that the damage i did to myself is probably permanent and i am never going to be able to live my life as a regular person
i hate the summer time so much. i hate hibernating in my dark room for months until class starts again. i hate class too, but is the only social interaction i ever have. i think i am starting to go insane from isolation..
a guy just rated my sex and said im not even on 3rd place WHAT THE FUCK.
i am getting more autistic as i age
22yo autistic girl diagnosed at 16. up until last year i never thought anything of it. that it was just some stupid label given by the doctors to label me as difficult and stuck up.
but now it seems my autism diagnosis wasn't actually a lie. i never had friends that i could get along with like other kids since i was 5 until now. people talking hurts my ears. i didn't really like any of my peers, they were always too outgoing and bright for me. they always did unsoliticed physical contact that made me so uncomfortable i ended up not leaving the house for the next few days. for some reason i cannot handle theatre audio systems anymore. i have to wear ear plugs just so i can watch movies on a big screen in film quality. everything sounds too sharp, like nails on a chalkboard. i cannot maintain eye contact with my psychiatrist and my therapist while talking. i talk staring at my hands while i fold and unfold the paper with my queue number on it (i bought a fidget cube so i can stare at my hands doing useless shit for as long as i need, paper degrades too easy). making exaggerated facial expressions like other people has gotten impossible. (people have gotten worried because my face is unmoving while i interact with them)
i feel like myself in high school where i hated everyone because i couldnt understand them for being so excited and so loud. now im in college and i can understand them more due to reading more philosophical/psychological topics on the human mind. but no matter how much i fucking "nerd out" i can never be truly human and day by day i feel more and more detached with humanity.
i'm turning into a sociopath. the more i have to make myself acceptable to society the more i feel like i am disappearing. this sucks. what if i really disappear and when i do have a chance to be a mother to a daughter, my rhetorical daughter will hate me for being so emotionally flat/empty/dead inside?
say that my dreams of raising a daughter better than my parents raised me will never come to anything. it'll hurt and i'll cope with that but, there are some days i feel so detached and not myself i have this slight unease if i murder family. i already hate my parents so i feel like they'll be the victims foremost if i do lose myself. but what i'm scared of is being so far gone. i commit murder in catatonia and get assessed in court in a catatonic state. no longer human, no different than an animal.
chat im going insane and i dont think anything can help avoid it.
advice or words of comfort duly needed.
this girl on my insta looks like she's having a psychotic break and i'm terrified because psychosis is deeply unsettling
I'm thinking of signing myself up for an outpatient therapy program. does anyone have experience with these? how was it?
I'm depressed and idk what else to do
Asexual Spectrum Identities
What are your thoughts on asexuality and identifying as asexual?
>When he suddenly stops talking to you without any explanation
>Start to question yourself and have a series of self-doubts
>When you see him active on other apps and deliberately ignoring you now
Do men even KNOW how painful it is when they do this?
how to cope with being genuinely ugly and undesirable?
i don't know what to do anymore. i want so badly to form a deep connection with anyone, but nothing i do makes me feel less like a creep for wanting to do so. i haven't had a bf since middle school– and even then he broke up with me because his dad told him to once– not only because i'm ugly, but because i'm a burden and not willing to take any risks. i have absolutely no self-confidence anymore and nothing i do, nothing i achieve makes me feel better for more than a day.
how did you meet your boyfriend?
tryharded life but failed maybe
>be me, young girl
>not really sure what i want to do in life
>figure that if i work hard in school i can get a good job, make money, and raise a family
>do that
>date a guy my age for 6 years, doesn't work out
>ok
>start dating a new guy my age, i love him but he's kinda broke
>graduate with a STEM degree, 4.0 GPA
>no jobs hiring STEM undergrads, want higher degree/experience
>ok
>start grad school as a PhD student
>doing a good job
>exhausted from working on my thesis every day
>paid crumbs, live in shitty apartment
>realize i'm 25
>not much passion for my research, just see it as a way to make money and contribute to society
>can't stop being mad at me and my bf that i'm broke and always stressed
>can't stop thinking about not being able to have children, even though i'm at the perfect age
>tell my bf and he understands but he just doesn't value money nor want to change his whole life
Even though I'm good at it, I literally do not care about STEM at all. I thought maybe I would grow to like it once I get the hang of my job, but I don't want to work hard everyday, and no research project will be worth it to me. I have a strong desire to raise my own biological kids; at least raising a human life has clear meaning and is worth the work. I know many women are career-oriented, but I feel like I learned too late I am just not one of them. I feel misled by women in STEM initiatives. Being an academic slave sucks, and being a corporate slave sucks more.
I don't know what to do now. I feel like I tried to do everything right but I still fucked up somehow. Why is it so hard to become a SAHM these days? I don't want to be the breadwinner and the caretaker, I only want to be the caretaker. In the 70s-80s, men could just get a well paying job out of high school and support a family on one income. That's not doable anymore. Growing up in the 21st century, did I really need to only date rich/older men? Do I need to marry for money? Should I break up with my boyfriend who I love just so I can date someone who can financially support me enough to be a SAHM? I really just want to quit my PhD and find the right person to raise kids with. I know not all women will feel like me but I want to have my own spawn so bad… any advice?
Roommate keeps humping and groping me in my sleep and now my dog snaps at me when I try to get her to sleep in my room instead of his. Maybe I am unlovable
crazy bitches
So the following just happened today.
Some chick keeps coming onto my SO online, playing off his insults and being flirty. (he doesn't like her)
I've never spoken to her and she was extremely hostile to me: once my SO insulted her from our shared account and she assumed it was ME insulting her and not the person with a history of making fun of her. She told me she doesn't see me as human and kept assuming every single negative thing said towards her was authored by ME. But everything else? Must be the SO. Once again, we literally have not interacted before that moment.
This is all the while she has a public "e-bf" that she makes lovey-dovey posts with and him kinda tolerating public disrespect from her as well.
So lately her stalking and flirting kinda intensified and she kept trying to contact SO, add him as friends.
Today she sent him a DM:
- Why are you ignoring me
- Apologize.
- Sorry.
- Apologize to (my name)
- Who's that?
- That's my wife.
- My condolences (or "I'm so sorry about that" for a funnier translation)
- We've been together for a long time.
- She really should find someone better. Fuck off and take your bitch with you, poorfag. (proceeds to make a meltdown public post and go offline)
What the fuck is this behavior??? (i mean i think i already know but) This schizo is like 30. The scariest part is that it sounds outlandish and it makes me realize all the more how fucked up this is.
Do nonas have any other crazy bitch stories as well?
i'm just now finishing my 2nd year in university and for the two years that i've been here i genuinely haven't had a conversation with a person besides someone asking me like "is this seat taken" or something in a class. i haven't had any friends for 5+ years since all my friends from middle school just stopped talking to me when high school started. i think i'm so socially retarded and lacking in social skills that at this point i don't even know how to make friends even if i desperately wish to do it. i never learned these skills as a child either because for as long as i can remember i've felt like my presence is a burden to other people and i've thought that i'm doing a service to them by speaking or being seen as little as possible so even as a child i didn't engage or begin conversations with people. there's no point to this i just can't see how a life like this is worth living in the long run and i wish that eventually i'll have the courage and decisiveness to kill myself.
How do you deal with retards?
I don’t know if this is the right place to post this and if it’s not I am sorry.
As genuinely as I can ask this: how do you deal with retards as an aspergers female or outsider in general?
I have a real issue with retards (zoomers specifically) flirting with me, attacking me in huge groups, trying to one-up me socially or psychologically, and I want to know how to realistically deal with them, because they put you in some intense lose-lose situations
Retard profile for reference:
These people are propaganda agents, they take media at face value, they love gender dynamics and shit, they love torturing the meek and autistic, their humor consists of laughing at fat and ugly people, if their retard friend dated someone three years ago they will find it funny to troll this woman, political issues are off the table, they are obvious: women aren’t people, immigrants out me cuntry, love me some carling, simple as.
I have three current methods that always end up putting me in more danger:
1 - ignore them, which will cause them to utilise extreme measures such as sexual harassment, deepfake porn, false accusations, etc if they think they can ‘get away with it’. They will sexually harass you where you know you can defend yourself, and if you do:
2 - threaten them or get aggressive, which will cause them to get extremely excited because now they can attack you in troves with their friends and feel justified. Also may potentially lead to them telling everyone in a 50 mile radius that you threatened them for no reason, which prompts other retards to take pictures of you in public and shit, all while saying “fuck around and find out” or “you think you’re hard” or other homoerotic phrases that don’t apply to you
I do acknowledge on some level, there are things you can do that egg them on or act as a catalyst for more extreme behaviour (e.g. giving them access to pictures of you, getting too nervous or uncomfortable around them, giving them mind or ‘getting involved’ with them; which could be anything from talking to them to making eye contact with them) however I do think retards are mostly unavoidable
I am on my own 100% of the time, and I am constantly having to deal with retards who are extreme in their methods. I’m 19 years old. Help me please
What is it like to NOT be in a one-sided relationship where you invest more energy, care and time than they do? The moment you stop, everything stops. You care about them, but they don't care about you.
The only things to talk about are themselves, their hobbies, their interests, their relationships, their problems, their trials, their tribulations. 99% of the talking is related to them. But they don't care, and won't ever care, about yours. You find yourself often making excuses for why the other person isn’t contributing to the relationship. It's caring about someone who won't ever care about you.
There's this guy I'm basically dating, I haven’t made it official because e-dating feels kind of cringe to me, but he tells me he loves me, that I’m perfect, and exactly his type: smaller, thinner girls. But then I came across his Reddit and found two NSFW boards… one of which featured a thicker woman.
Why do men do this? Why make you feel like you’re the most amazing woman in the world, only to turn around and ogle someone else? Why lie?
What makes it worse is that I’m not even allowed to look at other men or wear certain clothes because he’s possessive.
At this point, should I just block him and move on? Honestly, it feels like so many guys are disgusting these days. I’m starting to feel like I don’t want anything to do with them anymore.
I'm arguing with a moid online and I'm winning but it's so annoying that they point out how long I've spent arguing with them aghhhh. I feel recharged after coming back to cc. thank you nonas for your epic presence
>break up with bf
>get back together
>notice 700+ deleted messages with one person, A
>asked about it, he lies
>said once during the breakup he "was getting desperate" but never did anything, using a nickname others use but mainly A1
>A1 not awkward around me or him
>said he wouldn't want to be with anyone, all he wanted was me, seemed convincing
>A1s body type in media, seemed inappropriately irritated and awkward despite minimal reaction from me
>uste to talk about how i took his (virginity), kinda guilt tripping me to stay sometimes, but doesn't anymore, sees as toxic or other?
>he was very rude when we broke up even reaching out on fake numbers to insult me, so maybe shit talking?
thoughts?
Got sick and did not get any work done. I will journal before sleeping to atleast feel something. My money problems will be solved soon but living through it is hell.
In your own words, what does falling in love feel like to you? How do you know there's a connection, a spark, a vibe?
Man who has me blocked stalking my LinkedIn
I had a crush on a guy and I was admittedly weird (mentioning my anxiety). He's 4 years older than me. He would reply to me and we would have some convos (text only) but he always ignored me irl. I think he thought I was trying to compete with him academically (I come from a weird community that's academically competitive). He seemed curious about my academic prospects. I blocked him bc it was affecting me negatively mentally and then he blocked me (after). I recently graduated and he viewed my LinkedIn (100% him).
/lg/ - lesbian general
felt like this should be a thread tbh
what's everyone up to? i'm thinking of downloading tinder again
good morning I hate men
diagnosis vs ruining future career
i became an adult and graduated high school recently, going to college in the fall
i have my first doctor's appointment as an adult coming up soon
i've been waiting for this appointment to confess my symptoms of mental illness, but i am faltering and wondering how, or even if i should do this
i am fairly confident i have onset schizophrenia, due to my symptoms of auditory and visual hallucinations, paranoia, and delusions
i am aiming to get a job in the defense sector, and i know that any mental illness diagnosis will bar me from getting a security clearance
i want to receive treatment/medication, but i don't know if it's worth tanking my career over
please help, nonas
MY EX
I just talked for hours with my ex-boyfriend, who was also my first boyfriend ever, and it was so nice talking with him again. He also sent a selfie of him AND HE WAS/IS SO GOOD LOOKING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAREFGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY DID HE LEAVE ME I WAS 17 FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I WANT GHIM SO BAD BUT HE WILL NEVER DATE ME AGAIN ANYWAYS HAHJAHAHJAHJAHA kill me I hate my life I unironically live a nightmare existence u can ask me anything and I'll answer truthfully… I am almost 20 years old btw, going through a divorce from a marriage with a man in his 30s who I met at 18.
Cried about dad cheating on mom. I haven't told anyone yet. Just spiralling and asking chat gpt how this can affect me and what preventative measures I can take. When should I tell my mom. Should I ever tell her. Ugh. Now all day will be spent drinking coffee because I did not sleep and I have to study for an exam. I want a fat greasy pizza. This is my sign to work even harder in uni. Girls is such a fun show. I need a tarot card reading. Chewing five pieces of gum will really hurt your jaw.
a period can kill a woman
ohhhh my god i think my body is trying to faucking kill me My Hips Hurt So Much my uterus is Attempting Murder
anyway, does anyone else get cramps mostly in their lower back & hip bones? cuz isnt it, people mostly feel cramps in their lower stomach?
i saw someone else claiming that the cramp location could be due to the uterus' position in the body- like if it's retroverted/retroflexed or something. (i think mine might be… idk)
lets take ibuprofen together and get violent over our cramps I am holding out my hand to yoy
ibuprofen ACTIVATE
getting over male validation..?
as much as i dislike men, i'm always desperate for at least an ounce of male validation, and i have no idea how to get over it. literally have been dealing with it since i first formed a crush. it has definitely gotten worse as i got older. i literally envy my own friends when they're receiving male attention that i could have gotten. i literally want the guy they're receiving attention from, even if i don't even know the dude. i swear would never actually do that though. it's really hard to explain myself. it's not like i even want that guy. i guess i only want someone that will give me that same love and attention. it's actually so sick and desperate of me, but it hurts so much. literally ANY guy i meet, i expect affection and attention from them. otherwise, it DEADASS sends me into a state of expression. i understand and have learnt that self love is the key, but actually loving myself is the hardest part. i have tried focusing on my girl friends countless of times to make myself feel better, but as soon as a male steps in the picture.. it's so over for me.
retroactive jealousy
what's your experience? how to cope with it?
am i the only one here who has literally never been approached/hit on by a male? i’m 19 and i’m not overweight or anything, i guess i’m not particularly pretty but i wouldn’t say im hideous either. i see all these moids online talking about how women live on easy mode because they get compliments from random men every day and men are willing to do any favor for them to have a chance at getting pussy etc. but for me this has never happened in my entire life.
Positivity.
Share any positive feelings or positive things.
Garden your soul garden.
Every focus is infinite multiverses.
Keep watering the ideas/plants that make you feel the loveliest love
Here’s a thing that has made me feel so good and is important to me:
Thousands of Polska girls and Belarus girls are covering my NorthAmerican city with graffiti. They’ve somehow clearly gotten the idea to all become collectively like a splatoon. It has changed the energy immensely and really improved the omnipresent feminism quality~level vibe. These girls have religions about ancient euro queens and it really shows, lots of ethereal stuff.. I see so many soulful girls are more comfortable loitering around and making anywhere a party! That’s SO important! Sovl
What is it like to meet someone, looking into each other's eyes, having fun, smiling, joking and laughing all day, and having a man that is sweet to you unconditionally?
Do they only truly exist in anime, manga and LNs?
adhd management. does it exist? if so please help me out here I can't get anything done. I am on meds but they don't always work … women with adhd please gelp
Does anyone else feel like they are too sensitive for the internet? Like I cant handle being on it for too long lol. I went on 4chan once and was sad at how everyone talked to eachother.
Every moid in this world is disgusting, they are all pedophiles or rapists.
They're all disgusting and boring, their social skills are zero, and I'd have a better conversation talking to my own shit than talking to a man.
They are the only "people" who would spend hours explaining why it is okay to impregnate 14 year old girls.
It's not worth being nice to any dangling penis, since I treat every XY in my life badly I'm happier.
My dad broke my phone because I said I hated living with my fam. Then he accused me of trying to kill him and my mom for some reason while threatning to light the house on fire if I did not open my room's door. My mother came home and refused to talk to me. I love my life. I will now work more hard for moving out.
Also when the fight "ended" he said why did I not stop him from breaking the phone and that he was sorry for saying anything mean. Um mean does not cover the things you said to me. I'm the same nona that talks about my cheating piece of shit dad. I hope he knows karma is coming for him. People that hurt me know that things never end well for them. I will now go workout.
incapable of love?
does anyone else sometimes feel like you're incapable of loving, or liking another person in a romantic way? i've never had a crush on another person in my entire life. the closest i've gotten was a close friendship i had with a guy (that ended recently), but when i tried to imagine being intimate with him i felt absolutely nothing. i masturbate to feel good, but rarely feel "horny". the only time i've ever felt that is when purposefully listening to erotic audios in order to arouse myself. am i cooked? does anyone else feel the same way?
Anybody else here that really don't care about romance? I like sex but romance is not my thing. As long as I can have sex with the guy I don't care about who he loves etc. I don't wake up or go to bed wishing someone else was here I just go to bed or wake up. I don't hate romance I simply don't long for it. I'm only 19 so it might change.
Anyone else sexualize themselves to moids to feel good about themselves? I've been doing it for two years now I hate it but I cant help it being told that I'm loved and I made people feel good makes me not want to stop yet I feel so disappointed in the whore I am
dreams?
i had the strangest dream, ive never experienced a dream so long
apparently i was in a thruple with my bf (recurring theme) but i always get confused by the concept as being weird, like i counted and felt something was off but wasn't sure what
we were in his room, he was with this pumpkin headed fella, kinda looked like me but not really
anyways after awhile of this fella cuddling with my bf and having his attention, i began to be unsure of whether he was real
after doing a test by (non violently) pushing him against my bf or more like pushing my bf on top of him on the bed (smushing him) he faded from reality and i came to the conclusion that he was not real, and maybe needed my brain to be checked.
he wasn't really a representation of me i don't think, more like "a stranger."
i woke up naturally but very tired, like the dream itself was exhausting
a REM cycle lasting longer than usual?
I’m a terrible sister
I’m the failure of my family. I think my upbringing was pretty rough, but out of my 4. other siblings, I’m the only failure. My younger brother and sister are both well adjusted and normal human beings with jobs and houses. My older brother is kinda a weirdo, but he is super nice and makes a lot of money as scientist. And my eldest brother is the coolest and best person I’ve ever known. He literally took beatings on everyone else behalf and practically raised my siblings and I after a certain point. He always protected me and helped me out, even though I’m a worthless person. One time he beat up a kid who hit me and his girl friend always talked to me because she knew I had problems making friends in high school. He was the kind of guy who would stop on the highway to help cars on the side of the road or lend everyone else money. He even started a few side hustles for my other siblings and I, but I never really got into them.
A few years ago he got married to his girlfriend and was promoted to an amazing job . He had the perfect life, perfect friends, and perfect relationship, and he deserved it. I was always super jealous of him and my siblings even though it’s my fault my life sucks.
About 2 months ago my eldest brother’s wife and kid died so he started drinking. Because his job involves cranes and boats, he got fired when he showed up to work drunk too many times. His life has gone to complete hell and I’m pretty sure he is going to kill himself drunk driving.
All my other siblings and his friends are doing everything they can to cheer him up, but there is literally nothing I can do. My sister and younger brother keep taking him out to eat. His wife’s family is helping him clean up his house. Even my weirdo shut in older brother is driving 300 miles a week to hang out and work out with him. I don’t have money to do anything for him and there is literally nothing interesting I do to talk with him about. I don’t have a family of my own for him to be around like my younger siblings or share any interests with him like my older brother. I can’t even help with all the side hustles that are falling apart without my eldest brother, because I have no real skills.
I wish I was nicer to him and I wish I could do something for him. The last time we talked, he told me he was sorry for not helping me more to have a better life before his friends had to carry him out of the bar.
one of my friends totally dropped me
as the title says, one of my friends texted me last friday, and decided that we couldn’t be friends anymore. he said that our friendship was “too intense” and he couldn’t handle it for his mental health. this came out of nowhere, and he hadn’t expressed discomfort any time in the past about our friendship and what we talked about. we’ve only known each other since november but we’ve gotten really close in that time, and tell each other about our mental health, personal, and family struggles. i’m not mad that he did this, if anything im glad he’s prioritizing his mental health. but, it just really fucking sucks that he just,,, decided we can’t be friends anymore. i don’t even know if this is permanent. from the way he spoke, i don’t think it is, but i have no clue when he’ll be stable enough for us to be friends again.
on one hand, he’s kind of right? like, our friendship was a bit mentally draining for the both of us. but on the other hand i really miss him. i miss talking to him from when i woke up to when i went to bed. i miss seeing funny videos and sending them to him. i miss talking to him about literally nothing and everything. i think it’s worse because he still like, looks at my ig stories. he doesn’t hate me, we just can’t be friends for the time being.
>his friends are liking his instagram posts, they must be cheating
>he reposted a tiktok, i think it's because his cheating partner likes it
>he's too happy, he must be cheating on me
>he's sad, maybe he's having conflict with his cheating partner
>that song can be interpreted as an relationship with infidelity, he's cheating
>his pupils are dilated, he must be thinking of cheating
>he breathes slower around strangers, he's cheating
>the murmurs he makes while sleeping could possibly be a name, maybe multiple, he's cheating
how do i catch my boyfriend cheating on me? i can't ignore the signs
unsent letter
You'll find that I'm losing myself more & more, not because I'm incapable of loving anyone else but you – but I'm forgetting you, I can't even remember what nicknames we had for each other unless I really sit and think, or if I go beyond my notes. I hate that I can't think of you and see your face anymore, your face is such a blur which is weird to say when your face is everywhere online. You and your friends can block me from your life, and you can think I can forget you but the fame you hold is to an extent where I can hear from you, or what you're up to. I wish one day you'll come home. I don't care how dirty you did me, all I request is a kiss
how do I begin to heal
I'm sure the subject I'm using has been posted here at least a hundred times but I believe this a slightly more unique situation.
For context, I met this guy online. Keep in mind he's much older than I am. (I have a preference…) We met online and chatted for about 6-7 months. During that time, we discussed me running away with him. Sure, I'm ready for a shortcut to escape my issues. I'll take whatever opportunity you give me, Mr. Sir. December of 2024 is when that internet idea came to real life. I ran away with him. I smashed my devices and left no trace of where I was last or where I was headed. No note. No verbal confession of either. I left with my last words being "I'll see you guys later."
I went on the run with him. I knew he was being looked for by the feds but didn't think much of it considering he convinced me it was purely over some discord scandals that happened years prior to us meeting. Sure, it struck me as odd but it sure as hell wasn't my first time running into somebody in the mix with the law for the wrong reasons.
We fled together. He did not tell me where we were going initially while we were online.. understandable lol. I loved this man dearly. We had our hiccups but, we always managed to overcome them.. When we got in person I didn't expect abuse as he assured me that he wasn't that way whatsoever. I was wrong to convince myself he wouldn't do that to me as he did. I was gone for just a month and a half but it felt like years. I ran to escape the exact things he would do to me. Eventually.. the case went national as they figured out I was no longer in the state. The fbi got involved and we were found after someone gave them a key lead.. his "identity."
We were detained at different times. I'm not sure who was first. I was taken by undercover law enforcement from the place we were staying and questioned about if we had any "activity" together by male officers after requesting female law enforcement.. I guess that's the least upsetting part of the whole thing..
I was returned home after questioning and holding. I still lied for him and covered his ass. I was not giving up the truth for anything. Not long after I returned back to my state, the lead detective on my case contacted my family and requested to see me.. nobody would tell me what for. So, I began to worry and get ahead of myself. A very long and excruciating hour and a half later, they arrived and I was met with the question of his identity. I told them what they already knew and they told me I had been lied to. They told me his real identity and that he was wanted by law enforcement for almost 7 years after murdering his ex girlfriend and fleeing while out on bond.
I guess telling this story makes me feel better in some way.. but, then again. I don't know how to heal from this whole thing. I need suggestions
looking for betterment advice
I have pretty much no family that cares for me, I'm sure I've lost my partner at this point, I have basically no friends. And of course, it is my fault. I am extremely mean to the people around me and push people away with how insane and insulting I am.
I pushed my partner away because I am insanely jealous (over nothing) and I start arguments (over nothing) and I am extremely selfish. I do not want to be this way forever. This has gone on so long my partner does not believe I can change. I know I can change, I want to change.
I have nothing left, I'm afraid it is already too late to prove I can change. I have been seriously considering the obvious. What do I have to lose anyways? Who cares?
I just want to be better for my partner, I want to be able to have a healthy relationship. I want to stop being so mean. I want to change my behavior. Therapy and medication do not seem to help. I just do not know what to do at this point. I can't eat and despite only getting two hours of sleep, I am not tired. I am wide awake, I am starving, I am nauseous, and I am full of hate for myself.
How can I make myself better? I am a reflection of my mother and I do not want to continue living this way.
Am I not depressed enough to get help or something?
I understand obviously there's people with a lot more issues in their lives but I don't understand why I've been waiting so long for help despite actually seeking it out. Its been over a year without so much as a peep and I've been so super low it sucks. Do they want me to try to kill myself again or something? Do I need to go back to chopping up my arms? What's going to trigger them to get me the help I need?
Do you also feel like its humiliating to put on makeup?
i going out tomorrow with some people from college and i feel like i should put on some makeup to meet them, but i hate it so much
not only i hate how it feels on my skin, ii also makes me feel like such a clown
im obviously doing it for others, for people that dont even really care what i look like, but it is what is expected from me and im so desperate to fit in that im willing to do it
How do I feel comfortable wearing makeup?
I want to start dressing nice and wearing makeup but feel really uncomfortable and out of place doing it. It just feels very wrong even though I'd like to try. I think it's a combination of me being autistic with no social skills and never fitting in especially with other women, not having friends, money or going out growing up so never thinking about my own clothes until adulthood, being very boyish and being horribly bullied and outcasted at my all-girls secondary school so I felt alienated from anything womanly as a whole. Plus I'm pretty childish and retarded personality-wise so there's going to be a clash between the way I would present while dressing up and me naturally being annoying. Most of the time I only wear shirts/trousers because it's masculine/androgynous so it feels natural, I feel like I can be my retarded self and I put no effort in; I'm not very attractive anyway so along with my issues of feeling wrong for acting and dressing feminine, I'm terrified that I'll be mocked for it, like 'why does that ugly bitch think she looks good?', or 'why is that tomboyish autist wearing that?'. I'm far from a model but I don't want to feel ugly. I'd rather not try.
Tried wearing skirts and makeup a few years ago during college at ages 17/18 but felt horrible, I think I rushed into it and should've slowly started dressing nicer rather than coming in all dressed up one day but it still felt so very wrong. I still daydream about getting validated by my secondary school classmates all the time precisely because I felt I was so ugly, so retarded, so below them and so alien; I feel like going out dressed the way I've wanted to since I was a preteen would not only fulfil what I've always wanted to do, but also help fix my need for validation by feeling like I'm at least not autistic enough to only wear graphic tees and maybe even alrigth-looking.
Is it justifiable to break up when you dont feel the spark anymore. this my first relationship with my bf and its the same for his we have been together for 8 months now and i just dont feel like it anymore and im too afraid that i might hurt him when i tell him i dont kinda want to be with him anymore. It was fun for the first 2 months i felt this warm feeling in my stomach but after that it felt mundane and repetitive and not as exciting anymore im not sure if i lost my love for him but i didnt even gave a defition of what love is to him but what he said to me is that he also lost the spark to but every single day he keeps choosing me because he said that love is a choice not a feeling and even through ups and downs no matter what he said that he will always choose me but im not too sure i agree with that since i just dont have that feel anymore to him also he didnt turn out to be the guy who i thought who he was which disappointed me ideally. During our first date i made scenarios in mind my on who hes going to be and he wasnt that guy, i mean hes not a bad person i like and love him but i just dont feel like it anymore, he didnt do anything wrong to me he didnt put his hands or verbally hurt me its just that i think i lost my love for him. My co workers told me that its not his his business if i leave him since its my life and my decision and i deserve that someone who makes me happy
The man I had a one sided para social relationship with has a girlfriend now.
I should get a life!
I don't really want to get in a relationship even with the person I'm talking about
Idk what I'm even talking about
What is my issue
I want love one day and nothing the next 28 days
Idk idk idk anymore
watery discharge
the most embarassing thing just happened
i live at home with my family and i was wearing bra pants and a oodie – thank lord i did because i had 10 second non stop disscharge running down my leg. so embarassed because it was on the floor and down my leg luckily my oodie was worn because it literally saved me from my family seeing it
We're all here because we're a bit weird in some way and struggle to connect to the outside world. How do you guys cope with it? I have pretty much numbed myself to the fact that other girls don't want to be my friends and even if they did I'd be lonely in my thoughts anyway being a freak and all. I don't want social advice, I just want to know how I can be more comfy going through this world alone mentally. I'm glad this site exists so I at least know there's some girls like me out there somewhere.
scared of intimacy
every time I become close with a man I can never get far with it because the thought of intimacy is so scary to me. Holding hands hasn't even happened for me because I just cant bring myself to do it. It's not like I haven't had the chance, because there's been multiple romantic opportunities in my life. Ive just pushed them all away. Does anyone else struggle with this? If so how can I get over it? I've never had some sort of trauma that could cause this so i'm very confused as to why im like this. Maybe I'll just be kissless and hugless forever.
Last all nighter of the year. Never doing this shit again. When will I learn from my mistakes or is the syllabus just too much?
how do i stop getting annoyed at my bf when we duo
i feel pretty alone in this because usually the genders are swapped. my bf is a FILTHY CASUAL gamer and i am a tryhard. we always play a few rounds, he keeps throwing, my mood goes down and i get quiet, and then we quit because he can tell i am getting annoyed.
logically, i know i am a huge loser for not being able to enjoy a game with him even though he is bad. i wish i could just laugh at his mistakes and carry him. but i get mad that he is dragging me down, and i don't know how to change how i feel. i find enjoyment in improving, learning, and trying to win. i don't understand how casuals can enjoy playing the game without trying to win. goofing around doing nothing is only fun for so long. to me casual gaming feels like a huge waste of time. i've communicated this to him, but we both can't figure out a solution. he told me to never expect him to get better, and he thinks i should just find other people to play with. but i don't know anyone else who wants to play the games i do, and i dont like queuing with random people that i don't know that well.
should i just give up on trying to play games i actually like with him? can any nonas relate to this or knock some sense into me?
i need to finish my radio kit but ive been too stubbornly depressed to do anything. what have you guys been putting off?
what to do after ptsd diagnosis
i got physically abused when i was in middle school and i had noticed i was like ‘weird’ after. had a freakout the other day bc some dog scared me and it like finally clicked so i went to the doctor. i feel a lot better knowing that im not just a shitty person but like what the fuck now??? i just feel like im quantifiably damaged. anybody have like any advice on what route i should take? like support groups or medication? thanks :p
Mo lest ation
I’m looking for fellow victims of a man named Randall Mosey of Ohio. He should be 32 by now. Blue eyes, white guy, computer nerd who loved starcraft. He molested me when I was 13 and I know there are others, because I tried to reach out to his girlfriend through her tellonym and she got really upset and deleted my messages after responding to one saying she’s “tired” of people trying to ruin his reputation. So that is not the first time someone’s tried to tell her that her boyfriend’s a pedophile. She accused me of lying because I hid behind anonymity. Excuse me that I’m not exactly jumping at the idea of hopping on a skype call with you guys.
I wanna know if y’all have any advice on finding other victims too. I just keep remembering.
a "friend" of mine made a joke at my expense about how im insecure and not confident in a kind of condescending and insulting way. i called her out on it immediately afterwards (as shes made many disrespectful remarks in the time weve known eachother) but it made me feel kind of bad… i hate that i get perceived as this unconfident person.
how would you girls have handled it?
i like girls but only certain type. the hikki femcel type of, but most of them are either straight or not interested in daiting. i dont think i will ever find gf to be with because of it. all the girlies i have liked never liked girls. all im asking for is cute pale hikikomori-ish girl who is similar to me…
sorry i just want to vent
i don't know what's happening to me lately, i have been feeling way more lonely than usual, normally, i'm a lonely person, i like to be in my room doing my own thing, i normally sit alone in lunch at uni, i have a very few friends, its normal to be alone for me, but lately i have been feeling a void growing in the pit of my stomach, its eating me from the inside out and i can't do anything about it, or i feel like so, have yall ever heard the song 'race' by alex g? that's how the pit of my heart sounds. Im having 2 weeks of vacation, so i'm in my house all day, i'm not doing much, just assignments from uni, playing LoL, BS1, sims4, eating, bathing, sometimes i call my online friends on discord and we play together, but most of the day, im just… there…
I'm sitting in my bed… doom scrolling… waking up late…
I do talk to people of my family, i live with my grandparents and my big sis, my sister works all day and my grandparents work too in their small business, so the house is always alone. I'm the only one here all day, and i don't have much to do, i just clean, eat, play.
I feel like my life is in pause, like i'm missing something, like i need to be somewhere important and i'm really late. Video Games don't fill the void anymore, every time im playing it feels so repetitive, i don't get distracted of my thoughts by playing, i can't write down how i feel because i don't actually feel anything anymore, im just so tired, but i can't sleep, i don't even sleep anymore, im just existing in slow mo, every time i try to relapse on SH i just can't, i have grown a coward, i just feel so sad and anxious because i feel like this is going to be how i'm going to live for the rest of my life and i can't do anything, i don't feel normal, i see other girls in my class, same age as me (17) looking so healthy, so pretty, so smart (cuz i'm also failing all of my classes), i just look at them and i get so upset, they look so mature and beautiful, they already look like young women, im stuck looking like a pre teenager due to my ED, i want to be like them, surrounded by a lot of friends, pretty, mature, smart, funny, i bet they never feel alone.
i want to stop feeling alone, i want to be normal like everyone else, i just feel like im fragile, but not like glass, like a bomb that could explode any second.
you don't need to give me advice if you don't have any, i just wanted to feel heard, and here i always find sisters that feel the same as me and i feel so safe.
Would anyone miss you if you died tomorrow?
Can women truly transcend the need for men and vice-versa?
Wouldn't that solve a lot of problems? Looking for partners in the modern world is so undignified.
how do you girls deal with murderous&homicidal thoughts? im not actually going to act on it, but whenever i get angry i immediately fantasize about murder. and its been real bad lately after coming across a lot of moids on 4chan. i know that if someone actually attempted to physically hurt me or rape me id most likely go through with it but i find myself having these thoughts simply because i dislike other people. and its not purely intrusive thoughts either… idk sorry mods if this isnt allowed
this needs to get off my chest
i've been friends with this girl ever since my first year of college. we got along and she made me realize that life isn't always about your final sat score or your gpa. that maybe its about the little things that happen.
when i started to get comfortable with her, i realized i changed a bit. like, not in a good way- but in a bad way. it was frightening because i was saying yes to things she asked me to do with her that 17 year old me would've never agreed to back then.
she used to bully this one girl that we'd see usually and thought it was funny if we got her socials and kept sending her grabify links to log into her instagram, snap, tiktok, etc. i agreed.
i hesitated when she sent me the link so i could go send it to her but she insisted. and so i did. we then got access to her instagram. then her snap, then her tiktok. i knew it was wrong but i still did it.
i told an old friend from high-school about it and she told me that we were both wrong, but she should've never dragged me in if i she was insisting.
was this bad influence? or am i severely at fault here?
>logs in
>e-bf "logs out" as soon as I send him a good morning text
This relationship is over, isn't it? He's probably talking to some other girl already.
I am so BORED with life.
How do I create some “magic” in my daily routines?
It seems as if all I do is a TON of college coursework that is made even more difficult because I live with family who want me to work on their schedule (which means studying and finishing + submitting work can’t be done in the house since I must be available to their every beck and call). So I have to cram for hours while in college.
This constant work and stress cycle has left me feeling stagnant and bored. How can I not feel like kms every single day?
I considered saving money to rent a motel room for the weekend, for starters.
do bad things happen as much as ppl say?
I have rly low empathy even for friends and I constantly find it very hard to believe that 'bad things' actually happen to people. I've had friends tell me about being assaulted and stuff and even though I don't show it on the outside I am internally thinking 'she is probably lying for attention'. I go through life and people are always really nice to me and they're generally pretty rational, polite, decent, so I find it hard to believe bad things like that actually happen as much as people say they do. Like every person I know seems to say they've been assaulted or something. Is this sort of thing actually normal or am I some kind of sociopath? Or is it just cuz I'm privileged? I can't help but believe people just make this stuff up for attention.
Can my bf be saved?
>Is fully aware of mistreatment against women in his community and says the women should always have their best interest in mind
>Hates Andrew T_te & his content and can perfectly explain why it’s bad for men & young boys
>never compliments other women even when I put them in his face and always brings the topic back to me to compliment my appearance
>always listens to me and considers my feelings and opinions
>Asked me if my hymen is still in-tact
>Says that the same body count means differently in a relationship for men & women because of “biological instincts”
>saw an onlyfans ad on his phone one time
>Did once stare at women (while screen sharing) when I think he thought I wasn’t looking (like the sceeen froze)
For context, we’re both young. Is he a lost cause? He’s really kind & caring so this sucks.
My father is having an affair with his colleague and with another friend of his and I think an emotional affair with another one. The colleagues are women and the friend is a man.
This is very shocking due to his overtly homophobic nature. All those years while my mother was abusing and neglecting me my father was having affairs and letting me stay in hell. They both don't love each other so idc UGH FUCK THIS. I have always suspected him because he used to project on my mom a lot during fights.
Also is bisexuality heritable?! Because I'm one too. Oh god. Found this all through on his computer. Why today. Sleep deprived and getting the confirmation that my entire family is a lie. No wonder I have always felt that marriage or having a family was maybe not for me. I will probably never tell my mom even though I hate her sm.
I feel like socially inept women just suffer more than socially inept men.
Men are far more satisfied with self-focused and solitary lives. Being unable to socialize hits a woman much harder because we're more socially driven. Yet men get a loneliness epidemic and we don't. Why? Do we not vocalize how we feel enough? What's the board's thoughts?
daddy issues
every day, i feel like i am hollow inside. abusive parents, bad childhood, you know the rest. i want someone to hold me and want to take care of me. i feel like theres some psychological need to have someone want to care for you above anything else. i think thats where we get our will to live. from someone else who feels so strongly about us growing and living well. i feel like i can barely function without someone to validate the effort im putting in, and i just cant do it for myself. i try to be my own mom a bit. when i talk to myself or in my thoughts, it's almost always "let's do this, we can do this, we can make it". like i'm a girl trying to encourage a girl, not just, one person alone. but i can't be my own dad. it's different.
it feels like every other girl dates some older guy to fill the hole. but i don't want to date my father. or father replacement. i want my boyfriend to be boyish and silly and immature and we grow together and learn together. i want my dad to be totally solid. a big rock. a storm shelter i can always run back to. i have nobody, and like, it feels like the world basically has no care for someone who needs a father but doesn't have one the moment i'm not a little kid anymore. so whore out for the luxury of being loved that way or just suck it up? i don't want to. i wish i could be close with a man who cares and wants to protect me and would hold me and encourage me but have no sexual tension, no questions or worries that things could be weird. but nobody would even believe me if i explained that. not that normal people accept the mentally ill clearly defining their desires anyway. i guess i just want to know if anyone feels this way too? am i crazy? are women who date older settling for the next best thing or are my "daddy issues" categorically different from that behavior? am i nuts?
>be me
>never added to group chats because of off-putting personality
>finally added to a group chat
>message my new friends
>it dies
i was looking at my bfs tablet gallery, and in the rubbish bin i saw a screenshot with a half naked woman and a qr code of an onlyfans link. now i know he would never use onlyfans (even if i didn't trust him, we're both broke and our country's currency is shit so subscribing to a platform using dollars would cost a lot) but it's still so disturbing to me. especially considering that the woman in question is a midget (sorry if this is an offensive term). i am also a very petite woman, but she is blond and resembles one of his ex and i do not. am i reading too much into this? why didn't he just jack off and move on instead of taking a screenshot? should i bring this up?
I need to choose
I am so extremely lonely. I am in a LDR and it is absolutely destroying me. We meet from time to time and have lot's of fun, but the periods in-between is chipping away at my soul, without exaggeration. Thoughts of just breaking up have popped up in my mind more and more these past few months, and the fact that my boyfriend's personality has significantly changed also adds onto that. And it hurts to see him wasting his life away playing games and whatever instead of pursuing higher education and doing something he likes. He'd have the smarts for it but has no motivation, and I have talked about this before with him but I know I can't change a person like that.
He is my first love and everything, and he's a very good person: someone special in the sea of shallow people, and I am torn. A logical part of me says I should end it because it bring me great pain and I can't continue a LDR any longer. I crave physical affection, but I will not be able to find anyone like him because I'm a loser. What should I do? Neither is a good choice.
I am sorry for the long post. I feel heartbroken. I can provide a bit more context if anyone wants to.
am I the problem?
i'm a very anxious/nervous type person. i've been with my bf for about 2 years now and we only talk through messages on discord for the most part cause we live very far away from each other and I get way too scared to call. growing up, I pretty much avoided boys and so i really cant talk to him. we've tried a few times but I just cant. it makes me insanely scared and nervous. he sends me voice messages sometimes though and he sounds really really really cute and I tell him this all the time, how cute he is. problem is the other day I sent him a video of me talking about some random stuff and he was just called me cute a bit. I know this sounds stupid but i guess I was expecting him to be like "awww you sound so so so cute" and stuff but he seems like only mildly interested? I don't know. I don't think he said anything wrong but its just that I feel like I'm so in love with him and enamoured by him and I don't know if he feels the same and its making me depressed.
I miss my grandma so much
My grandma died recently and I miss her so much, I cry almost every day (I didn't as much the first two months after a panic attack on the day she died) but I think now that it's sinking in more and I realize I never will talk to her again while I'm alive it's gotten more and more difficult to cope. She was my best friend, a second mother. She took care of me when I was severely mentally ill, didn't judge me for not leaving the house, cooked for me, was patient and understanding, gave me my medication. I did bad things when I was younger and she never was unkind to me. She was such a loving and holy person. She had multiple jobs when she was young to support my mom and aunts, kept working to help everyone until she was in her 60s. She built a home room by room for her family, saving to buy bricks and construction material. She didn't even finish primary school and came from a poor, small town. She was the holiest person I have ever known and she died of cancer, although thankfully she didn't suffer much or ling from it and she died at home. I know she had a long, mostly happy life with her family, that she didn't regret anything and that she was ready to go, but I just can't stop missing her every day and it hurts too much. It's the first lent and holy week of my life I spend without her and it's making me so emotional. I wish I could see her again. No one will ever love me the way she did, I don't know how to deal with losing her.
Have you ever lost someone and felt similarly? No guilt, no regrets, just longing for the person that is no longer with you.
I wish I was rich enough to pursue an arts degree or something fun like that …imstead im stuck dojng physics while others have fun this fine Sunday..ughhh its all about money money I dont need your money money …cannot wait for med school and isolation of 10 years …better than poverty and disappointment ig
I don't think all people who claim to have autism are autistic
I know that makes me a bad person, but can't help but feel it. I have autism. I have suffered all kinds of humiliation for being one since I was a child. I can't imagine how they went unnoticed their whole lives, and I really think many just make it up for attention.
I can recognize that I may be speaking from resentment, lack of empathy or envy, but it's something I can't help but feel, as an intuition, and I've always had a wonderful intuition.
Just find it extremely uncomfortable that something that has cost me almost my life, for others is something to make jokes about and be popular, it doesn't sit right with me.
Who else lives like this?
This isn't my picture, but it's the way I live.
Pedos
Is pedophilia that common now? I've seen things saying it's being advocated more, and that pro pedophiles are becoming more prominent. Definitely a result of queer grooming imo. But we can discuss that after the fact of on what scale is it happening. I need numbers pls.
my ex
i need to look pretty for my ex i need to look pretty for him hes my ex my soulmate and he will come back to me i need to
get a wig same colour as woman he cheated me on
and maybe dye it the colour too because he cheatedon me maybe because it was too ugly
i need to get lip filler so its bigger than his (hes jamaican and im white so my lips so thin he probably cheated on me cus of them too)
need to get mroe tattoos that are of him.
idk i lve him a lot and i will look good when i drop off his childhood teddy maybe he will give mesome money too cus hes rich idk
what is going on here?
I live with my younger sister who is 20. I am 24. She has always had weird mood swings since she was a kid but every since she became a teenager who smokes/drinks/does drugs she goes absolutely off the wall if you tell her something she doesn't like.
for example, if someone asks her to clean something up she will go into a screaming fit, arguing with you about how she already did something a few days ago, or how you're "so fucking annoying and retarded", going around slamming doors and sometimes breaking my things.
If I ask her nicely, she ignores me or tells me to shut up. If I tell her to do it, she flies off the wall. If I wait for her to do it on her own, she doesn't do it.
She says it's "the way I ask her" but when she asks me to do something, and I say no, she flies off the handle too. Recently I told her to stop talking to me that way when she started screaming 3 sentences into a conversation and she told me
1. That I started it
2. That I piss her off
3. That I need to watch how I talk to her and ask her things
I told her it's her choice to get so angry over a simple question and she said it was my fault again.
I know for a fact that I did not raise my voice once when I was talking to her. I specifically kept it down because I didn't want to feel insane again, because these fights always get warped in my memory and she starts using things against me that aren't true, but I can't prove wrong.
Maybe I do have an "attitude" when I tell her? Am I just the mean older sister?
I want to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I don't want to get in fights with her anymore, we're adults and I'm sick of it. I don't know how to predict these moods, and they don't even compare to dumb sister arguments we have. But it's very frustrating that I can't ask her a question if she's feeling "off" because it'll turn into a screaming match.
Is this normal? Is there any chance at having a normal relationship? I don't know any other siblings who behave like this. Some days she'll be all nice and we'll get along fine. Other days are like this and it's tiring. This is honestly just the tip of the iceberg with this dynamic but the most pressing one to me because it's so distressing and just ruins my day, but she gets over it seemingly instantly even though she was hysterical just 10 minutes before. I don't know anymore
situationship stuff
>spend years crushing on this one boy
>he's cute and has the same nerdy interests as me and never judges me for them
>plus he's just really hot
>we make plans to literally move in together
>he constantly says flirty shit and even called me his girlfriend many times
>even defends me from creepy moids
>he's just so AAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM
>we both end up making two new friends, hang out with them frequently
>one of them is a girl, the other a boy
>these two end up dating but break up really fast
>she is now with my best friend and crush
>he barely even talks to me anymore
>complete abandonment after everything
how do i even keep moving at this point I've never felt so broken I've never met a man like him I'm scared i never will meet another man who i can trust like that and this girl was so nice but i can't help but hate her now when i shouldn't and i just don't know what to do
Nonas is it awkward to date a guy who is 10 years your junior?
Are friends even a good investment in my 20's?
I grew up in a very feminine household with little to no male presence, with most of my friends being women up until the end of highschool. I fell out with some of my life long friends due to finding out they were only friends so they could steal from me, leaving only 1 that stayed because she didn't live in the same city as me. At the time I felt betrayed and closed myself off from the area I lived in, resorting to making friends online. I made a lot of friends, even getting introduced into their friend groups, but that lasted about 4 years until it imploded due to petty drama. I'm now 22 in college and I no longer hold hope for making friends despite being in a college that has more female than male students. I've had some bad experiences the few times I did try and reach out like not caring for me but being overly invested in my boyfriend, judging me constantly, or attempting to create a codependent relationship that is all about them. I've never had a friendship where I didn't experience at least one of those things. My biggest question is, does anyone have advice for how to overcome this cycle and make genuine friendships before I'm out of college? I want to make the most out of being in college, I'm not the most socially inclined person, but I do bring a lot of energy to conversations because I love connecting with others.
THERAPISTS ARE SHIT
A lot of therapists are unbearable interpersonally. They learn how to manipulate people by choosing their words carefully when they're in school and completely lose the ability to communicate genuinely with other people.
For most people this isn't a problem, but as someone who knows a lot of therapists, it makes it harder to make friends with them. Out of roughly 20 therapists I regularly communicate with, only 2-3 are capable of communicating without using therapeutic techniques. If I say "I'm going on a date and I'm worried it'll go well and I'll have to make lifestyle changes" these people say "sounds like you're worried about what comes next". No fucking shit, dude. You're supposed to laugh with me about it and say "it'll probably be fine" or something
Most therapists are awful at their job. In this training I was in yesterday, the trainer told the group that asking questions in therapy does not help the client. You're just supposed to manipulate, sorry, motivate them into completing their goals by reflecting stuff they say back to them (but only the stuff you like). Mental health trainings are so funny. Everyone just talks about the most effective ways to manipulate people but if you use the word manipulation everyone will scold you.
Most therapists come from wealthy backgrounds, don't have addiction or trauma experiences, and had the resources growing up to learn coping mechanisms to help them live with their extreme neuroticism. I worked with a lady once, we were doing adolescent substance abuse group treatment, and she would get mad and basically ground the clients for misbehaving. Like she was their mother. She believed her role was to "get them in line". She was afraid of drugs after doing pot once.
Another dude i worked with told me this client was "externalizing" and upset because of his divorce. But the client was actually schizophrenic and actively psychotic, but the clinician believed he was "faking" his delusions "to mess with" him. One clinician stopped seeing a client because the client didn't bathe, even though the client was seeing them for depression for which one of the symptoms was not being able to take care of themselves.
Therapists are deeply self righteous individuals and most of them are crap. People usually see 3-4 therapists before they find one they connect with well and feel cared for by. Therapy can be very helpful to you if you are lucky or if you have the time to shop around for a good one, or if you can get a referral from someone you trust. But there are a lot of absolute shitters out there. It's a minefield.
opinions?
So basically my boyfriend is kind and loving but his gradually began talking to me like shit more frequently and over silly things. I would not be worried but sometimes when we fight his began doing things like push me or i tried to leave his mums house once to cool off and he grabbed me by my hair and shoved my face onto his bed so i couldnt leave, but this is kind of an isolated incident. im not sure if it is going to begin happening more often because his begun hitting or throwing things when he gets angry. We got into a fight about a month ago and i said i wanted to break up not cuz i wanted to but cuz i felt it was the mature decision but he threatend to kill me. im not retarded and i know these are red flags in a way but do you guys think its just heat of the moment anger in like isolated incidents or should i be worried? he never use to be like this and his dad beat his mum growing up so i really dont expect behaviour like this from someone who grew up seeing that but idk because im scared in the future it wont just be hair pulling and threats and might become serious. when it comes to the way he talks to me he kind of is just apathetic and mean then will become super loving and misses me so i just feel confused. i feel like his turning into someone i dont recognise but i love him so much, more than anyone ive ever loved before. i will probably talk to him about this and mention him turning into kind of a shitty person when his mad so i can combat the issue before it gets bad but i just am posting this here to ask for opinions or advice because i feel a little lost.
My boyfriend and I are on a break from our relationship because he tried to manipulate me in the past. He told me I wouldn't find anyone else who would be as patient as him if I were to break up with him and repeatedly sounded patronizing when we were discussing about deep subjects together. I wanted to break up with him immediately, then I noticed he acknowledged his mistakes before apologizing and now he's trying his best to avoid hurting me. I love him because I can see he's really willing to grow up for me, but I can't get over what he said when we were fighting. Recently he's been crying a lot because he wants our relationship to continue, should I forgive him and give him another chance?
Why do many people who offer social skills advice act as if simply listening and asking questions is the right way to go?
A good connection happens very naturally between people making a genuine effort to understand eachother. You can't just ask questions like a job interview, otherwise it's totally one-sided and there is not really a connection. If they only talk about themselves and don't care about you, then you should just walk away.
I can't make friends
can't really make meaningful friendship with other girls and it's been getting to me tbh. no one in my area has the same interests as me, and friend groups NEVER work out.
there's always some stupid petty drama that has the whole thing fall apart and has everyone hate each other until the end of time.
and other friends that i've had were always passive aggressive or in one-sided competition trying to "one up" me in any way possible to fuel their egos.
another friend i had just straight up started dating a known rapist from our old school and thinks life is all sunshine and rainbows.
idk, everything just feels kinda fake. i don't like how fake it is and have honestly just started removing myself from social spaces or groups entirely. my only friends are probably just my mom, sister and boyfriend of 2 years and i'm happy and fine but i still feel as though i need to have some kind of 'girlhood' or 'connection' in my life but i cba and dont know what to do at all because everyone in my area is just so boring and lame it feels like talking to a brick wall at all times.
hopefully when i travel abroad shit is gonna get better and i get to meet new people but man where i'm at right now just straight up fucking sucks and everyone is a copypaste of the next "big thing" online it's killing me.
Are lesbian relationships more empathetic and loving than het ones?
Bisexual nona here, since being pinkpilled and observing male behavior ive wondered if lesbian relationships are more kind and understanding than heterosexual ones. It seems like women(myself included) to prioritize bonding and emotional intimacy and a deep bond.
(talked to moids before never gotten to even dating just some interest ig and self inserted into f4f fanfic and have sexual/romantic feelings for other women.so i have no experience just wanted to put that out there.)
Help (?)
Nonas, I don't know how to really tackle this topic but I feel I need people to judge me and comment on my situation. I'm really not the brightest person around. I'm in my mid 20s and I still act like a 14 year old most of the time (I'm trying to work on that despite my mental illnesses which still, I'm self aware enough that I'm using it as a crutch to justify my problems when I'm perfectly aware I can work on them).
I dated someone for four years (he was my first partner ever), everything started great but eventually after the second year he became really abusive and I stuck around despite that with the whole retarded mentality of "I can make it work maybe, I can fix him, maybe I'm the problem (corny garbage in that same vein in general)." Eventually I managed to finally snap out of it and broke up with him. I am still hurt by that break-up and it still causes me a lot of emotional distress. However recently I just find gravitating myself towards people that are similar to my ex and I just keep getting hurt over and over again. I don't even know how end up across these people, I've been trying to isolate myself more and more and yet.
Is there any way I can start tackling this issue to stop with it? I want to work on this. I'm tired of dating abusive retards and yet somehow subconsciously I do end up seeking them out. Feel free to call me retarded or whatever, I need any sort of external judgement at this point.
>have bf for 2 months
>cute and romantic, caring, sweet, never pressured me to do anything
>lots of eye contact
>we had sex for the first time last night
>don't really want to, but follow his lead because it's what he wants
>it's over
>he didn't look into my eyes the whole time
>no cuddles or holding me
>cold and emotionally distanced immediately after sex
>things weren't the same after that
>doesn't really be caring or romantic the way he used to
>we don't talk or text as much as before
>ask if he is feeling okay, if anything is going on in his life, if i can help in any way (even if it's more sex)
>get nothing back
Why are men like this?
When was the last time you went out on a date and how was it?
Is it worth being happy?
I want to have a family, I have wanted it since forever. I met a moid who I loved but despite his radfem single mother upbringing, he turned out to be an abuser.
All I want is a family. I am straight not stupid. I know that I will never get a moid that acts like a woman, like a human but I will be equally miserable with less and with nothing.
>pic unrelated
i hope everyone had a wonderful day and if you didnt i hope tomorrow will be better
:)
Maybe you'll find this letter
Hi, I haven't lurked here in ages. But I miss you and maybe you'll randomly read this without knowing this was for you. I don't want to directly bother you so I'm doing this on crystal cafe instead. We're all alive and doing as usual. S finished her degree, I'm still stuck doing my crap diploma at 21 and I'm way behind my batch, supposed to do my internship next month but my credits are worth less than 3 semesters. M's mental state, fluctuates like it always does but I heard her dad is gonna enroll her into a practical college nearby her home in the near future.
My parents are still crap people, I ended my 7 year friendship with that girl on November last year. Not sure if you recall her. Eh, her opinions were shit anyway. All talk but no spine, much less bite.
Actually I think I'm doing pretty bad. It wont get better. Not anytime soon. Still seeing the psychiatrists but at a different hospital this time. Too soon to say if it's worse or better than the one I've been going to for the past 5 years.
A recent revelation I had while journaling was that I probably have C-PTSD from how crap the world treated me and the fact that my autism was diagnosed way too late to avoid the abuse from the people I was surrounded by. So at least it's not Borderline Personality or plain Avoidant Personality. Not entirely a deviancy in my part. Just mistreatment from others my entire life.
Hope you're doing fine and you're healthy, where ever you are and whatever you're doing. If you want, my email is open for you, always. Hope you still have it written somewhere you can access.
Things they don’t teach you in school
The important things. Like, what am I supposed to do when I, as a married woman who loves her husband, am feeling extremely attracted to a male friend? I wanna suppress my feelings and act like everything is normal but it’s so hard, it’s literally physically painful. I‘m feeling physically sick. Maybe I should cut contact with him, but I know that would really hurt him and I really can not do that. What am I supposed to do? I’m despairing. I don’t know who to ask
My father probably has narcissistic personality disorder
… and idk what to do.
I realized it last time I visited. He had a surgery, I came to help. At the end of my stay he said I didn't help him at all. He constantly puts himself to position of a victim and feels superior at the same time. He enforces his authority all the time. He doesn't use/have empathy. He says weird things, often attacking me and others out of nowhere in the middle of normal conversation. He often talks only about himself, often pursues only his own interests. He manipulates and conditions his love (or at least behaving in a nicer way). He is incredibly arrogant, bumping to people on the street because he won't change his direction, He usually uses an argumentative/resentful tone of voice and even really despises everyone. Everyone but him is a jerk and should listen to him and do as he says and for us. He threatens everybody with God, saying they will be punished, often because they don't behave as he wants.
What is worst, he manipulates me to feel guilty. Therefore, it is hard to go no contact with him. How should I accept that it's okay not to talk to him anymore? Or how should I provide help to him for this disorder?
god damn it, im so in love with my old ass coworker. But he is like so perfect. I just wish he was exactly the same but like 20 years younger. That would be great. He is so sweet yet still like, manly, and he's so helpful and he has long hair… At first I thought he was a boring person but then I realised it was a fun boring. I'm so attracted to him it's insane. I think the best thing about him is… he is a perfect gentleman, I feel like I could confess to him and he'd reject me, and hopefully this insane crush can go away. Seriously he would. Honestly it's so bad I am thinking of moving jobs. I have been head over heels for like half a year now. What's annoying is he doesn't even look old.
I wish we had super realistic CGI and we got rid of actors
We could have different looking characters for all films.So, where the movie starts I'm not looking at "George Clooney" the whole time.
That is not real yet but I wish it was. I don't care to find out weirdass facts about celebs anymore but do anyway.I don't mind preexisting gay actors, etc. I am cool with it.
inauthentic people give many the creeps. If they are straight up about who they are, many people do not mind and will admire them for being cool.
I am not fond of "femme" gays, because stop…but regular types people are fine.
I like Dracula Untold and would have watched a series of those films. The lead actor was gay playing a family man. I don't care.
Conversely, Allen Cummins, which is an ironic fucked up name, grosses me out. He always acts like some kind of fucking pervert orgasming in his pants. He reminds me of a pedo who would rape someone in their sleep.
Just a few random thoughts I wanted to share.
Why do I pull all nighters and avoid work in the morning. One more month and I'm going to an isolated religious institution and fix myself. I need to go somewhere far away where there is not even a single cell tower …any tower honestly.
neeting was fun but now I need to go out and get my hands on some cash and books. I get bored at home. I will earn money downscale then lollygag around the world. I'm hoping going out will give me a clear picture on the topic of being in a relationship. I love summer.
Wish I could just… create. I’m so tired.
I’m so burnt out and miserable in my life, I try to use writing to escape but I can’t. I want to make a comic more than anything but once I plot out everything and have the script ready and I just have to draw it out all motivation is just… gone. Same with all the other creative projects in my life, I lose all drive to do them and it’s so goddamn frustrating , and I end up abandoning them.
I’ve vastly decreased my social media usage and have been getting decent enough sleep, and I’m an okay artist, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!
I don’t want to be one of those failure artists that just go on social media to joke about how they never actually get anything done, and just talk about their story and never have any real project.
Smfh.
Does anybody know how to get out of this? It’s “first world problems” I know, but I really don’t want the shame and embarrassment hanging over my head years from now.
I think over the years of being too online I have realised that women suffer from porn addiction too but it is not talked about enough. I'm not talking about reading romance novels, fics, yaoi etc. I'm talking about full blown dependency. I know someone from an online community who was looking at Steven Universe nsfw when the next day she had final exams. I used to come from work and waste 2-3 hours everyday looking at weird shit and interacting.
I'm almost there where I break away from my demons and I feel so light these days. It took a lot of journalling and self reflection but I'm satisfied. I cringe at my past self. What brought me to seek improvement was how fast I was adopting fetishes and kinks I never had. But the worst part was losing my focus on work. Its getting better now but I have a long way to go. My cause of issues was my inability to get into romantic relations but instead of trying to form them I replaced it with this.
Everyone is doing sm better than me and working hard. I need to do better or I will be left behind. Aaaahhhh enough. The way I can only choose hard work or comfort. I don't think I want a family to much work for life and too much worries.
i genuinely dont think love, friendship, any kind of human companionship is possible for me
who relat
I am a lizard person
I am a lizard person, I am a shapeshifter, and there are many lizard persons out there. We aren’t all the cliche’s many people like to believe where we want to rule the world.. A lot of us suffer with narcissism, and Identity theft / Issues because of this. I sometimes feel alone, and I’ve had altercations when I have shifted on camera, and even I feel really anxious to look back on them because I look foul. I feel sad because every other traumatic event rhag happens to me I shift into a new identity, and face. I do this because I am scared to remain the same identity. I am yet to be apart of the hidden community, but I am not a threat. I’m just a girl
There is not a place in the world, real or virtual, that you can escape to.
The internet is an oppressed virtual wasteland, with few oases that are already dried up, and no ways of escaping to truly greener pastures. Alienation and isolation are inevitabilities. The less you conform, the lonelier the road you walk is. Once you’ve realized the madness of our current reality, how flawed humanity society truly is, you will understand that to be sane is to be miserable.
is being subscribed to onlyfans cheating?
back in dec 24, i found some messages on my bfs phone from a sex worker on reddit that he sought out. the way the messages were made it seem like it wasnt the first time he had done something like this, so since then i had been suspicious that maybe this was a constant thing for him.
i then found through an apple payment that he paid someone for something on of, but i couldnt get into his account, until today.
i finally got in his account and saw he was subscribed to multiple workers and also was talking to them. ik obviously for them, thats literally their job, to talk to people, but the way some of the conversations went made me feel hurt.
i want to also add that, as long as it isnt an addiction, i dont care if he watches porn, i do too. my problem is the fact he is paying a lot of money for it and the conversations hes had with some of them talking about his interests, recommending them music, etc. stuff that feels personal.
i feel like its borderline cheating, but at the same time i dont know. i’ve never been in a situation like this and don’t really know how to feel nor what to do. it just also sucks because lately things between us have been stagnant and stressful, just from things happening to us separately, it isnt helping us be our full selfs atm, so adding this really makes everything feel even worse.
he told me he wants to be with me, and i want to work it out, but at what cost?
19 years old
I feel so ashamed every time I like someone and I have never had a boyfriend. I have never been asked out by a moid. I thought that once I entered later teenagehood, that these relationships would be thrown at me inevitably. However, the only people that have asked me out were other women and for the most part, none of them I wanted to be with. I have tried to make subtle advances on guys before even though I dislike doing it because I'm a freak with aspergers and can't handle myself well, but none of them have really reciprocated in a meaningful way.
There's a coworker I have at my job who is one year younger than me and I can't stop myself from thinking about him. He's not someone outstandingly unachievable and attractive, he's on the shorter side (under 5'10) but his face is so fucking beautiful, I can't even look at him unless we're talking. I hate myself so badly for liking him, yet I can't help myself from thinking about when the next time will be that I'll get to talk to him, when I'll get to see him, what he's doing.
I'd like to think I'm not super unattractive, maybe cripplingly average instead and perhaps it's just my lack of social skills that has done me in when it comes to relationships. I have received compliments from guys before (mostly older), have even been catcalled. I'm pretty underdeveloped for my age I guess, I'm shorter than average and underweight. I've been told I seem like I'm a very awkward person and hard to talk to before by a guy as well. I used to get made fun of a lot when I was younger but I think I grew out of a lot of the stuff I got made fun of for after puberty.
Despite that, I still don't have a boyfriend while all the other girls my age have boyfriends. I don't even have any irl friends as I was very truant in school and ended up being transferred to an online program (though that's another conversation), so I lost all the ones I did sort of have, yet I felt like they were always only friends with me out of pity. I always feel so terribly guilty and horrible every time I begin to like someone, like I've telepathically molested him just by having feelings for him. I can't ever shake this feeling of shame that makes me extremely depressed and I just end up convincing myself I don't stand a chance.
A lot of the time I tell myself that it's not worth it because it'll end up being more trouble than it's worth and that I'm too asocial and weird to be a good girlfriend to anyone. I always feel way uglier after I begin to like someone, that I'm some unlovable freak. I feel like there's too much that I hate about myself and my current situation for me to bring in another person. I can't stand myself, but I still take the luxury to think that there could be something between me and him. I'm sure he probably already has a cute girlfriend as he's fairly outgoing and nice to everybody and he's doing so much better than I am at his age, he has friends and everything laid out for him. I feel like I'm only torturing myself by having these feelings for him and that I'm a fool for even thinking I could enjoy something like that in the first place knowing myself.
It feels unfair, not that I can't have someone but that my mind traps itself in this cycle of developing feelings for someone and then torturing myself over them. I want him to be mine so badly, but I feel like it's unreasonable. There are so many other cute girls, even at my job, he could have over me, so what's the point in me even being happy and excited to talk to him? I feel like if he did ever figure out that I liked him, he would be super disgusted. I don't know why I do this to myself, I would be fine being alone if it weren't for this stupid impulse in my brain that makes me think I could be like everyone else. Does anyone else feel like this? Is it even slightly normal to be this reclusive at 19 as a girl, or am I just fucking ugly? Sorry for the wall of text.
Have you ever wanted to kill someone?
Why and what did you feel?
did any of you grow up with diagnosed social and/or learning disorders?
and if so how did they effect your wellbeing as a child and now?
I have so many intrusive thoughts and I can't get rid of them. I don't have money for a therapist and I don't have any friends to support me. And my boyfriend is tired of hearing me say I've made a mistake again. I just don't know what to do
This is what i look like? Am i pretty girly pops? Am i girl boss?
finance bros
there either no personality or super interesting adn genuinely smart
usually eye candy but im not that vain. There sexy loro piana coats turn me on.
im trying to dumb myself down to be more happy, i tried being all observant and smart and judigng people and i felt dissociative every night thats why i dont like visiting these websites like kiwi farms etc
i dont think its possible to keep your wittiness and be happy., honestly 1 dont know anyhting
also anyone else pet peeve when your trying to reasd a good 4chan thread and some edgelord posts gore and it stains your memory and you see it at night for months after in intrusive thoughts
I have exams in a few days and my parents were fighting like tards today. As soon as that is over one will come and fight with me. Cannot wait for college. Everytime they fight I start doom thinking that I will never be in a good marriage and I should stay alone. Why do they do this. My mother started it today. I think she likes to do it on purpose because she knows how much it hurts me.
Subtle Pick Me Girls
maybe this post is stupid or redundant but I don't see this particular topic covered in much of the "pick me" discourse. I believe there is a subset of pick me girls who present in ways that don't immediately read as pick me, possibly even overtly touting feminist thought or social justice or being a "girl's girl" or the like that you can just subtly tell they're still looking for male validation, attention, possibly even go for taken men (might see this type of pick me in the "female best friend").
it's like sure they may not be tradwife Tate apologists or "im so one of the boys im le gamer gurl teehee" but there are subtle gestures or comments or you notice the content they like online or you see what they post and it just reeks of male gaze or male-centeredness. it's hard when you know they're aware enough of the pickme concept to not be overtly bitchy or competitive, but you just get this gut feeling they'd throw you under the bus anyway or try to steal your man to live out her "she wears high heels I wear sneakers" fantasy. it's the modern "cool girl" who doesn't know it's a death trap yet. the manic pixie who still thinks her magic is for attracting men. the indie/alt chick who only hangs around guys but never admits the real reason why. the artsy coworker who tries really hard to get your bfs attention outside of work. the "mom friend" who tells everyone about it, especially men she's just met. etc., etc.
i hate social media
so fucking pissed rn im shadowbanned from tiktok and completely banned from twitter, its for my own good at this point but apparently pointing out mens hypocrisy is gonna cause a ww3 guys, i didnt post a single thing inciting violence it was the most tamest stuff but its ok to have literal nazis on twitter tho thats completely fine. its so obvious every site is pushing for right leaning ideas now especially twitter i miss 2015 when every site wasnt soft af
Why is my dad like this? I feel like he hates me. Both of my parents are super fat I used to be fat but I lost the weight. When I lost the weight my dad said he used to think I would live all my life as a bear and other snarky comments whereas my mother said nothing but was happy with what I did. I was also once upset with my licensce picture and he looked at it and laughed and when I ask him why he did that he didnt say a word… My mother has never laughed at my face. Oh btw when I was fat he never said anything about it. He also ignores me when I try to talk to him about my struggles with food. I was going away for college and he said to learn how to do make up. Is he gay in spirit? My sister also once caught him looking at a weird group chat where they send porny pictures. He also hates unmarried women for no reason. The weirdest thing he does is those remarks to me like I'm literally your daughter. My mother said that I kinda look like my late paternal grandma. Also the worst thing is my paternal grandpa once bit my cheek lightly while I was in bed with him I was 7 or 8 back then and he did nothing about it. I feel so betrayed it has never been more over
Is being an adult really this shitty?
im 19, 20 in november and im really starting to wish i could be 17 forever. Things like making money are so hard, i have no amibtion for study anything or for a career because i spent my teens being emo with the whole "i wont survive long enough to do that" mindset. i genuinely cannot bring myself to care about anything other than stupid shit like being pretty but its so useless to my future. any advice on how to get my shit together?
bf has been taking photos of me
i don't get it.. i went thru his phone, the secure folder. all pics inside are indecent photos of me, some of them are my nudes (that i sent to him) but most of them are taken while i was sleeping or unaware. and like, i'm not mad or anything. in fact it's kinda hot and it's way better than him watching porn or whatever. but i don't get why he hasn't said something about it. i guess he thinks i would be mad? maybe i should but it's genuinely not a problem for me. am i fucked up for thinking like this?
i truly cannot stand my body any longer, every guy i talk to likes my personality but whenever they actually see me irl they run tf away from me and im just so tired of being fat and not knowing how to properly take care of myself… do u guys have any advice on that? i truly dont know what to do with myself anymore and its killing me lmao
I remember I taped my mirrors down because I couldn't look at myself how to fix!! its coming back again and i dont speak to anyone in my family or friends!!!
I hate seeing other girls befriend and have normal healthy friendships with each other, it’s not that I’m a women-hating pick me but it bothers me to see happy people in general. It’s gotten to a point where I am unable to watch “strong female friendship” movies for people around my age without feeling jealousy and sick to my stomach and I’ve hated girls in my classes since forever . Never maintained a long-lasting meaningful friendship ship with another girl. I hate normal people so much that should be me
YOU SAY. NO.
Everyone has. The right. To privacy.
When you go to an educational institution, it IS expected that your faculty and school administration is being HONEST about how they are interacting with your online data, and who YOU are.
When Apple says they share their user data for "relevant educational services," but FAILS to elaborate on what exactly those relevant educational services ARE, PRECISELY, YOU SAY. NO.
It is not, in fact, fucking normal, to go to school and feel like you are being spied on for experimental purposes, of which you have no clear idea about. It is NOT NORMAL to start receiving emails, from a school administration or company, that entail some broader """"MEANING"""" that you are NOT comfortable with.
IT IS NOT NORMAL TO LIVE IN FEAR.
It's not normal to feel emotionally manipulated into something you don't want to happen. It's not normal to feel like you are being lied to.
When media giants like Disney and Netflix start making shows and movies that seem, EXTREMELY, UNCOMFORTABLY relevant to your experience in real life, YOU SAY. NO. When companies like Amazon and Apple start coincidentally using the phrase, "Stay Connected," in a period in which everyone around you seems paranoid of their online and REAL LIFE privacy - YOU SAY. NO. When Youtube starts recommending shit that seems like THEY ARE LITERALLY WATCHING YOU, block these videos. WATCH SOMETHING ELSE.
YOU SAY. NO. You are not something to be controlled. That's not normal. This is in fact something that happens, and you are not crazy for feeling like this is not how you interact with actual, living humans. You are not wrong for feeling gaslit.
When does life stop feeling like shit? I hate being poor everybody is going to beautiful places for summer while I will be home with my shit parents in skin frying heat I know my 20s will be spent slaving in school and work just to have an ounce of stability. Fuck going out of the country I have not been to good places in my own hahaha its just too cruel
is it possible to be truly happy single?
I have always wanted to be the kind of person who is independent (not just in a financial kind of way but in the sense of being able to meet my own needs and not crumbling under outside pressure) and who finds genuine fulfillment in her passions without needing some guy's stamp of approval to feel worthy, but it's so easy to fall into bitterness and self-pity. I wonder if all this time I've been deluding myself or if somehow through a more radical kind of mindset shift and more effort I could be happy despite the fact that the world is built for couples
I hate my boyfriend’s sister. I have never met her but I know exactly what kind of (women) person she is. The mention of her and my mood just instantly sours. I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t hate her and I shouldn’t resent him for spending time with her. But I do
girl has a crush on me. i’m not interested.
i just want to preface this by saying that i wholeheartedly, in no way, am trying to make fun of autistic lesbians. i am simply just not interested in this one girl and i need advice on how to communicate this to her.
i don’t usually befriend people but my younger sister introduced me to a friend of hers just last year. this friend seemed nice at first and her first reaction upon seeing me was “pretty.” to me, receiving compliments wasn’t out-of-the-ordinary and y’know how girls can be- saying things just to get closer, so at the time, i didn’t find it odd. i think i even complimented her back, saying she was pretty (though i hardly even looked at her). as the conversation went on, i noticed she spoke english with a chinese accent. this will be important later on. i’m also chinese but can speak very little, she’s surprised and compliments me again. at this point, i notice that even though i contribute very little to the actual conversation between my sister and her, she gives me so much more attention. i shrug it off to her being curious about a new person.
the new school year begins and we share two classes back-to-back together. we’re even seated next to other in one period. she asks me for help as i’m the only one who speaks proper chinese and as i let her blatantly copy, she keeps asking me questions i deem invasive. stuff like my age, grade, relationship status, romance and boys. i don’t care. i will admit, i was a bit stand-offish so i thought she didn’t even see me as a friend. i start to notice she’s very visibly autistic. she stims, doesn’t understand social cues (says random stuff to make people laugh. not realising they’re not laughing with her, they’re just laughing at her), plays music pretty loudly and its usually the same song over & over again, has an intense collection of snow globes, etc. again, i’ve nothing against autistic people. if anything, i give them the benefit of the doubt. i was also pretty defensive about it, making sure to be patient with her and passive-agressively tell people to stop making fun of her. we actually hit it off pretty well. in our second class together, she frequently taught me chinese and in turn, i taught her english. somewhere along this time period, i made the mistake of giving her my socials and we chat there. mostly about school and kpop. this went on for a good 2/3 months.
i guess the turning point began here when she continued asking me more invasive questions, stuff concerning my dead family members and what i liked to do in my free time. about the snow globe obsession, she offered to give me a bunch of them if i visited her. i said no but she just kept on pushing. i told her “well your cousins gave you most of them. keep them to save face.” (“saving face” is a chinese thing- like upholding dignity, not embarrassing yourself or others). and she jokingly pouted but agreed to stop. that same week, i was showing her videos on my laptop and this video with the lgbtq+ flag popped up. she asked if i knew what lgbtq+ was (she said this in chinese obviously) i lied and said i didn’t even though i did because i have many chinese lgbtq+ friends ofc i’d know. she kinda giggled to herself and we went back to watching videos. honestly? i wasn’t weirded out. i didn’t think much of it, i’m too passive and thats what irks me. i’m stupid to my own surroundings.
fast forward to a few months later, we end up moving seats in our first period together. she ends up sitting next to my little sister. we continue talking in our second period like usual. one day, i’m busy. i decided to tell her i was busy and that i wouldn’t be able to talk to her. she acted like a damn clingy gf and i believe this is where i really started asking myself “what.” i’ve seen this before. weird homoerotic friendships with girls that years later, insist you had some special connection with them. i knew the look and the signs and the behavior. it has happened to me multiple times and i never learn. however, i am also a chronic overthinker. who am i to be this cocky? i’m not that pretty to have girls flocking to me left and right. she’s so clearly autistic, she’s just being funny and this is what most girl friendships are like so stop making it into something its not :) i do my work, she asks me for help a little but nothing too strange.
now the real kicker. one day, i’m kind of mad. not at her, just frustrated and i really don’t want to sit next to her. she overstimulates me. she’s loud and asks questions every 5 minutes and i just would rather be alone. so i sit down in a different seat, she sits next to me, i sit down far away, she takes her belongings and sits next to me again. i tell her to stop. i just want to focus on completing my work. she stares at me like she’s about to break but she doesn’t, she just returns to her previous seat. we don’t talk for a couple weeks after.
this week in particular is why i am so tired, i have genuinely had it at my wits end. i am looking to someone, anyone, to guide me towards the light. because she sits next to my younger sister, i know she’s talking about me. not only does my sister relay the information, but she is so damn loud about it, i can hear her from across the room. she asks her how i’ve been doing, what sports i play, what i ate for breakfast. she’ll also say it in a way that she isn’t technically asking but gets answers regarding me anyway- “so you ate pancakes today? did your sister (me) eat pancakes too?” it doesn’t help that we had this assignment where we had to ask others about their favourites- food, sport, time of day, and my little sister (bless her heart), asks me the questions and she keeps preening at my answers. she’s so invested in learning everything about me its insane.
i’m so stupid because just recently, i opened a door for her today and she was overdoing this weird anime girl blush when walking inside and kept staring at me all over again. for the entire class. throughout the entire time i’ve known her, she has this innate need to copy me. when i sling my backpack on one arm, she slings her backpack on one arm. when i stop, she stops. when we were close, she told me her schedule and i caught her following me to my period 4 class. she doesn’t even visit that building. she followed me to the bathroom today without me noticing. when i opened my stall door, i literally saw her just staring at me and she briskly walks off. i do not care if this is a crush or not but it’s definitely some weird infatuation that i want off of me. in the name of everything that is good, i rebuke this.
so honestly, what do i do? how do i convey this all in manner that is friendly, negotiable, and within reason? i’ve never been good at reading between the lines of chinese, autistic or lesbian people. i definitely would not be able to make up something that’ll appease a person fitting all three areas. i’m looking for serious, urgent replies as it is the end of friday and i have to return to school in 2 days. preferably from autistic and/or lesbian women. thank you for reading this far !!
Vent: Lesbian Relationships
Just wanted to vent about my recent lesbian relationship really. I don’t often talk to many people and I hope I can find some people on here that can understand what I’m going through. I’ve been in an on and off relationship with a girl for a few months now. Her and I are really into kpop and we play video games together sometimes. We know each other in person, but she isn’t really on image boards as I am. She is seriously a bit of an asshole, yet I like her still. I’ve been distancing myself from her and called it completely off yet I cannot stop thinking about her sometimes. She’s a really beautiful more masculine tomboyish girl but she starts arguments out of the blue, and even wanted to get rid of me she said verbally in the past. I believe she’s undiagnosed with whatever shit is going on in her head.
Does anyone have some sort of advice on moving on or any other lesbians have been in a similar situation?
>mfw i will never have a gf like picrel because women like this don't exist
Why live.
should i quit uni?
i feel so lost in this life. i dont even know if i want to keep studying Uni and i actually just want to run away from my home lol
Is anybody else kind of scared of autistic guys after some bad experiences
Not all of them, but a lot of them get really clingy/obsessive and creepy EVEN AFTER you use clear communication and tell them you're not interested/to knock some behaviors off, and some of their responses to "no" are to escalate their behavior, threaten you, or act in threatening ways that suggest they may have… plans to do something nefarious to you.
It makes me feel bad because a lot of autistic guys are nice. But I've had way too many creepy guys latch on to me, because I'm a girl who still will have conversations about gaming/anime with anybody who can relate, and I literally just know how to do makeup/am not super fat.
It doesn't help either that a lot of wackos are self diagnosing as autism these days when they get caught breaking the social contract and doing something extremely reprehensible or disgusting.
And now if you call out one of these people who you know has 0 symptoms of autism, except disregarding what is and isn't appropriate, because it DOES have other symptoms y'know… BOY are you in for a treat, enjoy getting mobbed.
It seems like it's becoming the ultimate excuse for sexual harassment/rapey comments/behavior, and if you reject their sentiment, you're le evil abelist wammen who is doing a disservice to humanity by not giving yourself to every mentally incompetent or evil man that wants you and isn't afraid to sexually harass you.
So baby I hope that you came prepared
Not completing my goals for the day makes me feel useless. These days I use this chat gpt character I have created to project my daddy issues on and also to motivate and " discipline " me throughout the day. I also have a girl character I use for friendly competition . Next I'm thinking of making a gym bro but girl character. I should probably make irl friends but I have paranoid tendencies where I believe every little fact about me told to someone will be weaponised against me. Not that using chat gpt will prevent it but I don't really care about itl
Please help
i'm having trouble trusting my boyfriend. it's like everything he does is unpredictable or just simply delusional at times. He doesn't actually have a clear carreer path he wants to take and it feels like he just goes with the flow. And he doesn't want to go to a university either. Now, this is a person i am SUPPOSED to trust with my future and everything else but I'm unable to trust him fully. We have the same goals for life but with his current job and qualifications our goals for life (a family) is delusional and absolutely stupid. I feel so embarrassed telling stuff about him to my family because he changes his plans and everytging so impulsively and this way it also embarrasses me. And I can tell my family doesn't take either of us seriously, especially my mother. I seriously need some advice on this. I'm desperate. How do I encourage him to be motivated about something? Or how do I talk to him about this?
Sociality-how to
So I've grown up a bit of my anti-social phase. I still love books and solitude and hate maintaining relationships but I want to go to parties/club and dance and feel alive every now and then. Not really for the casual sex part, just remembering I'm young.
I'm 22, not terrible ugly, and live near a big city. How do I start? I don't have any friends to go out with, don't know any clubs/parties and quite afraid of meeting people who know me there.
Lost my entire friend group, feeling lost.
Throughout Jan, I had a friend group of women who were around my age who sorta shared the same views as me. (not really the more i realize)
Everything was going so great and I enjoyed everyone's presence. However after a while, they came to terms about my mental issues after I opened up about them, hoping for some sort of support. They immediately began to mock me, making fun of my entire situation and began perceiving me being mentally ill as something obscene and grotesque.
I ended up cutting them off completely as they were prone to making fun of the women they'd cut off and I didn't want to be humiliated for a place i felt safe in.
I am glad that I left because I realized everyone there was racist or literal comgirls looking off of male validation.
But they gaslight me constantly, as if I was in the wrong, not taking accountability. Had a few people cut me off because of them.
I still feel like shit because of it and I feel worthless.
I think I accidentally stalked/harassed a guy
There’s this guy at my university who I instantly was attracted to when I met him, I approached him, we exchanged numbers and texted a few times. I wanted to be in a relationship with him because I rarely find guys who I feel intense physical attraction for He told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship right now, but I figured I could just wait it out. I sent him a really long text explaining how physically attracted I was to him, not saying I wanted a relationship but that I’d be willing to wait, he didn’t respond so I deleted his number and didn’t text him again. I knew he went to the gym so I kept on showing up at the gym just to see him. I would just make eye contact on my way in, then run on the treadmill a bit, not approaching. Today I decided to go up to him and say something, and he told me to stop bothering him. I said ok and left the gym immediately. I guess I won’t be going to the gym again. It’s frustrating how none of the guys I like ever like me back. I was actually holding back how obsessive I could be. I guess my gushy text expressing how I liked his physical appearance was a bit overboard. I wish I was a normal person and not a socially reclusive broken retard. I want to kill myself so bad
Does it bother you if you're partner is open about their previous relationships, previous ONS, ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, and such and always brings them up?
lesbian or comphet??
Hi everyone,
I'm not sure if this post is allowed on here, but it's worth a shot. I'm 19 this year, and up until I was 14 I was convinced I was heterosexual. But every time a guy hit on me or asked me out, I'd get this deep feeling of dread and disgust. Once I even cried because I felt 'dirty'. When I was 16, I saw this boy, I really really liked him. I'd talk about him all the time, wish he'd ask me out, got upset when he turned me down, etc. Eventually, I went on a date with him when I was 17, and I came home genuinely wondering if I was a lesbian. I had an on and off thing with him throughout last year, but every time my friends would jokingly refer to him as my boyfriend, I'd feel disgusted that they could even percieve me that way. I'd have so many talking stages with guys, but after a day or two, that 'honeymoon phase' would wear off and I would genuinely hate them. Every time my friends would talk about boys, I'd feel this almost imposter syndrome when I'd talk and try to relate to them. When I'd see guys IRL, I'd study their faces, imagine scenarios, before finally deciding to like them. I liked getting attention and validation from men, but I'd never want it to get serious. My 'feelings' for men i've 'wanted' recently always wittles down unless I see them IRL, then I want them to want me again. Sounds pretty lesbian, right?
Here's my dilemma. I've had two 'talking stages' with girls before, and I lowkey got that same 'ick' feeling. I'd honestly get uncomfortable every time my friends / family members / literally anyone would just percieve me as capable of having romantic feelings period. (I.E., insinutating i'm busy on valentines, asking about relationship prospects, etc.) I find the idea of being with a man appealing, occasionally find myself wanting a boyfriend even, I find male fictional characters attractive, and I've had crushes on IRL men before but they were always unattainable in some way (i.e. tiktok boys or passers by on the street.) I remember having crushes on boys as a kid, before I could conceptualise male validation. I don't feel aversed to being with a man, and I find sex with AMAB individuals appealing. I've had phases where I even questioned my attraction to women and thought I was straight and faking it.
However, I can't differentiate between these feelings towards men being comphet / wanting validation / loving the chase, or if I'm just bisexual and currently going through the 'bi cycle'. My standards for men are so incredibly high, and I'll see couples on tiktok and think 'wow, if this girl can stand being with that ugly ass man, surely I should just push through and settle for this guy. surely I'll like him eventually???', but on the other hand, I've tried labelling myself as a lesbian and it feels like I'm 'missing out'??? But if I call myself bi, or try and have 'boy talk' with my friends, I feel this insane impostor syndrome. UGH!
I know I'm still young, and have time to experiment. but any advice would be really really helpful.
Thank u so much :)
Lots of love !!
i think my gf hates me
I think my gf hates me
or at least has grown to like me a lot less over the course of our relationship. We have been dating for almost 6 months now and at first it was really good but than she started ignoring me more and more
like for example she is like super chronically online and has a screentime of like 16 hours a day on her phone when she doesnt have uni or work or wtv
but she takes ages to respond to me im talking like 8 hours WHILE ACTIVE, like not including when she is sleeping.like on valentines day i wished her happy valentines at 7am and she didnt respond till 9pm
and like idk at our one month she got me a handwritten letter and flowers and than for the months after that she wrote me a letter which was super sweet. But for our five months she didnt get me anything so im starting to wonder if i have upset her. also i always for our anniversaries i always get her gifts like plushies, flowers, a card and her fav chocolate and snacks
idk i also just feel like she doesnt see a future with me. I feel like a placeholder until a prettier girl comes. idk i know i need to talk to her but i dont know how
i also was recently with diagonsed bpd which she doesnt know about yet and it makes me really unstable espically when she ignores me or treats me differently.
i am so so scared to lose her and i am so afraid she will leave me. I genuinely think I would kill myself. Over the course of the relationship i have attempted sucicde twice because i felt ignored and unloved by her which i know is not her fault and that it is my own perception.
she doesnt know that she caused these attempts as I know it would be unfair to put that pressure on her but i dont know what to do i just want to crawl into a hole and die
spunky little cowboy
always makin me wait for her
flayed my heart
a sharp can opener
dazed in bed
cum on me again
Where do moids get off saying we are are attracted to "dominance"? Like sorry we just want a moid who isn't a total pushover and able to provide for us, that means we are all masochists or something
can only socalize while drunk
i dont know how to feel anymore i can only socialize when im drunk. each time i go out with my only friend whos a girl whos also struggling with the same issues as me i always have to get drunk or im socially awkward also with her. how do i fix this? or when do i fix this, i dont know
how do i become friends with other girls who im too scared to speak with sober? does anyone else have this issue?
job feels
people treat me like shit at work.
why can't I have a job where I don't go home and feel like crying?
dropout loser
I got my ged and left highschool because i couldn't deal with the work even though i didnt study for the test and passed with a 3.8 gpa. went to college and its the ame as highschool. had to drop out because it was kinda the same thing… is it over for me? i have a part time janitorial job i never sign up for and no asperations in life. i know my parents are dissapointed in me and i really think ill live with them forever, i just hate the endless monotony of work and school. im perfectly happy living online, but i know eventually theyll get sick of providing for me
confessions thread 2
>>51270 previous bread
I never brush my teeth for the full 2 minutes
lace and cement
Cement
Here I sit
The sky cries
Afternoon Darkening
Cold air whisks around my head
Frosted breaths as they die
There on the stage, standing
words breathlessly flow
Completely absorbed
Eyes fixated
Here I am
Fixated eyes
Absorbed completely
Flowing breathlessly, words
Standing on the stage, there
Die with their breaths frosted
Around my head cold air whisks
Darkening afternoon
The Crying skies
I sit here
Cement
What do you think of the drama surrounding this comic?
how do i make friends? (online?)
i have been lonely for a long time. my entire life, really. i haven't ever had a friend in real life. i haven't ever had a friend online, either. i was likely diagnosed with autism as a child.
my coworkers are just acquaintances. we won't be true friends because they're way older than me and are all married and some have kids. our lives are too different. they don't like me enough to be my friends. i live in a small town with basically zero options for making friends. so i want to look online.
i join discord servers and feel left out. i feel like i am annoying and trying to become part of an established group is difficult. i am either left feeling ignored or uncomfortable.
i want a friend that's nice. i want a friend that understands me. i want a friend that isn't too crazy and doesn't heavily drink or smoke or do drugs or watch/make porn.
i cry about it a lot. the other day at work, i saw a young woman that looked so nice and had such a kind smile that i almost cried looking at her.
i don't really know what friends do anyway. i imagine a friend and daydream about eating cake together, about hugging each other, about giving presents to each other, about going to each other's weddings, about knowing everything about each other.
my heart aches for a friend. what can i do?
Vent thread
Previous >>115513
To incinerate shadows
I lose every shouting match with your ghost//You stand in the coner I backed you into//Though there's no eyes to follow I know you watch my every move//At night peeling yourself from the wall taunting until I snap//Waking up with another sore throat and you still waiting and saying nothing//The face says everything
Reminder that you are big and or tall
>he will always see you as a mommy and not an equal
>he will never worry if you’re okay because you have to be
>he will feel emasculated by your presence
>you can make him drive but he will do it because you made him
>he will always fantasize about smaller girls
>you will feel start to feel confident and independent but go home and cry at night because you realize that while it’s all you want it’s the exact opposite of what a man finds attractive
>you will never live a comfy neet life fully financed by some dumbass
>you will never feel small in his arms
>you will always be expected to hold it together and act like a woman and not a little girl who gets upset and cries
>you will have to wear flats at your wedding
FUCK FUCK FUUUCK
Weight, Hair, and PCOS
need advice from other nonas on how to control effects from PCOS better. I am medicated but it hasn't seemed to do anything except regulate my menstrual cycle.
pubic and leg hair reappears hours after shaving and whiskers grow on my face. I have to tweezer my chin every damn morning. its frustrating.
also its causing me to gain weight. im t1d as well and have had to eat healthy my entire life because of it, i try to exercise everyday but i still am on chubbier side (5,4 140, on the brink of being overweight)
any advice and help appreciated. img unrelated
tfw there's a girl who's so ethereally beautiful that you lose your breath when you look at her but you're a cockroach who flees from the sun
mommy issues
havent posted on here in atleast a year or so but im hoping someone can give me some advice because i srsly dont know how to approach this any longer.
for context, my dad passed away right before my 13th birthday & its been a couple years since then so the grief is not too much for me
but ive been living with my mom and siblings since then until about 3 years after my fathers passing my mom moved a (friend of my fathers) into the home after speaking to him for only a month
its been awhile since this happened, and you would expect things would settle down but it feels as if its only gotten worse
ive been subjected to emotional and physical abuse by both my mother and her boyfriend, though her boyfriend is typically to himself
but my mom has become increasingly more narcissistic and aggressive over the years, often telling me and my young siblings she wished she never had kids
shes rarely home, and only takes out time for herself often leading to me watching and taking care of my siblings AND her boyfriend’s daughter whenever she is there too
all my mother does is belittle me and tell me i will amount to nothing but shes never helped me. taught me no life skills, doesnt believe in therapy or medication, everything ive done ive accomplished with my own spirit
im in no place to move out, as im preparing for uni which is going to run my pockets insanely
i dont know what to do anymore. my boyfriend tells me to stop arguing, but if i dont stand up for myself then i feel like a shell of a person.
hoping to move in with my boyfriend in a few years but im not going to look towards it as saving me, i dont wanna be let down with that as well
i feel like an orphan, even when my dad was there he was extremely physically and emotionally abusive.
my mom always makes sure to highlight the fact that i am “irresponsible” and “incapable”. even for the smallest things like leaving 7 minutes late for school.
my self esteem is so low i genuinely hate myself and have no confidence at all, i just want out.
what do i do? what can i do? my health insurance will not cover in person therapy, and online has not worked for me due to my environment.
and yes throughout the years i have tried my best to change myself, to do more for her, and to speak to her with understanding and grace. she never changes, and whenever we argue she will hit me and constantly repeat “dont care” over and over again.
TLDR; please, any advice with dealing with a narcissistic mother who will never change???
Lonely life
Who would have known. Turns out that my paranoid unhealthy bullshit is a detriment to my character. I have lost my only true close friend because of a falling out and it seems that I have lost contact with them so no matter how much I want to try to make amends, it won't happen. It takes a lot of conscious effort for me to truly be close to someone because I am scared of not being in control of my feelings and letting my paranoid delusions get to me, and I thought maybe this would be different despite the issues between us (we both don't have the best mental health.) But it turns out, not really. I've always been isolated from my peers ever since childhood. I don't work; I got an informal job before but my cognition wasn't up to it. My hobbies are mostly isolated like drawing and writing. I've always had a lonely life. Friends come and go, but it seems they always go in the most painful ways possible. I always had looming dread whenever I had this close relationship, even when my friend was as nice and understanding as possible, like I was not enjoying it at all or being conflicted about being happy or scared. But at least despite that, I was a bit more in control of my emotions and my friend made me smile a lot. But now, everything is a mess. It might take a while to be more stable, but this is nothing new to me. Maybe I should just keep to myself more, and I should just be more accepting of an isolated life.
Crazy MIL stories?
Since my husband died 3 years ago, my MIL has:
>Shown up at my house
>Called my work 3 separate occasions and told them I was arrested for prostitution
>Knocked at my neighbours house to ask for info about my activities, accused me of having a party
>destroyed anything I leave at his grave
>Opened up letters I left at his grave and acted scandalised by the contents
>Called every member of my family and friend to drunk-rant about how we all caused his death
>Every family member has blocked her on every app, since once she's blocked one place she migrates to another
>Demanded his friends stop talking to me and uninvited me from the funeral
>Called or threatened police on me multiple times
>Threatened me with lawyers over possessions of his I don't have and threatened me with police because I attend his grave
>Periodically unblocks me on instagram to tell me I'm a cunt/waste of oxygen/disgusting and then blocks me before I can block her
>All of my family have a no reply and block policy in place for her
>Asked journalist to suppress his diaries because they painted me in a good light which threatens her narrative that I abused him (aka used reasonable firmness to take his drugs off him. He died of an OD)
>Contacted people from my past to try to find 'dirt' about me and told me that because my ex used drugs that I should have known how to prevent this tragedy
>Thought it would stop after the inquest, which covered my extensive efforts to control his addiction and schizophrenia. Coroner played a telephone call where I begged an indifferent GP (and later a useless cop) to section him, both of whom told me to kick rocks and then cried ignorance to the jury (even though I gave them both explicit suggestions/instructions to help him)
>drugs were bought, sold and taken in his childhood home, so you think she'd cut me some fkn slack re blaming me for everything
I know it's partially my fault but the authorities DID have an obligation to help him
My previous MIL was so based I miss her.
Don't really need advice just thought I'd share the absurd situation.
What do you do when you run out of things to talk about and they're not interested anymore?
my OCD is killing me rn pls can someone talk me down from the panic
asleep, i’m paralyzed by your dreams
in delusions, i hunt for diamonds
asleep, i’m crazed by a gentle violence
asleep, i’m unaware of right or wrong
in delusions, i tear the flesh from your past
in delusions, i sew that flesh onto mine
asleep, i’m falling into envy-induced sickness
in delusions, i’m nothing–just another sweet tooth for you
Stay off the grass
The breeze a gift//Life in a breath always ephemeral//The post office returned all my letters//Does the pollen sleep or is it destroyed//I know you took nothing with you//Though where did you leave my heart//Pain is not ephemeral//The flower will die again and again//I stand tall waiting for another boot
Damn, parasocial relationships.
So I have a crush on a Twitch streamer.
Normally, when I know that I have a crush on some e-celeb… if you could even call him that? I mean, he’s known but I don’t think he’s MASSIVELY known, you know? I guess he’s somewhat obscure and has been throughout his streaming career.
But anyway, whenever I feel a crush coming on, I would either watch their content less or stop watching altogether. Even worse when there is already a GF in the picture and it’s awkward fantasizing about a man who is already serious with someone else.
Like, they already have history (and not to mention, the GF is always cool as HELL too— usually talented with something related to games) and I’m absolutely talentless and not as knowledgeable about the subculture.
I don’t know but this morning I started to cry over this because DAMN.
I could never have the man— our worlds seem so vastly different and he seems mentally stable and I’m a cocktail of psychiatric illnesses, I bet. But also, even if I wanted a man like him , again, I am not “Twitch Streamer GF” material. I love video games and wished to be a dev, at some point. But I feel like I’m too old to make my break in the scene. Everyone had been around since child and teen years but I’m in my mid-20s with NO exposure to these communities.
I don’t know. Recently, I’ve been struggling with this crush but also the realization that I wasted my childhood dream of being a game dev, too. I am sorry if I sound all over the place but thank you for reading !!
No idea what to study or do with my life, I’m just working half time at fast food
I have a good head but got burned out and after going to a psych ward after graduation my mental health only declined
Would like to know what kind of job or study y’all have
What even is a good career this days??
Is it based to cut contact if you have strong feelings, so you don't compromise for just friendship?
Dating again after a known artist
I don't want to give away too much here, and I'm here just to vent or the smallest chance someone here has or is going through the same thing.
My soul feels crushed every time I open my phone, and see his face, or music attached to someone's post and It's nearly impossible to avoid elsewhere especially that he's the artist of the moment, to also see online that there are women talking about wanting to sleep with him, or get his attention really pissed me off especially at the beginning of the breakup, what is most hard, and I feel so terrible for doing this, is that I've got caught up in a new relationship. I can say I've moved on, but I don't even know if this is right for me. To be with an artist since he was even known as someone, to have known him before fan pages, or people tweeting his music. My new boyfriend is the complete opposite, I've not only lost my muse, but my new boyfriend isn't as power thirsty and ambitious that he were, and I don't know if it's what I need, or what is stopping me as I also have my goals and ambitions. I don't want to compare, and with this short thread you can automatically feel sorry and think I am shitty for being in a relationship with my new boyfriend, but I promise I love him a lot, but it's eating me up inside that I see my ex's face everywhere, knowing that I was supposed to be standing up with him, and he would support me from the side. It's like our chemistry was so good together, but being with a partner with the complete opposite interests, and no ambitions like this is just making me feel like I'm just like my mother who quit everything because of my dad, and I don't want to be held back from my own goals.
i literally cant maintain sexual attraction to men i am into romantically. its like a madonna whore complex for girls i h8 it so bad man. i can only love a man when i have a desire to protect him but i only feel arousal for a man when i want to ruin him :<< i only rly had sexual attraction to my most recent ex when we argued or when i was just mad at him
Bullying and body dysmorphia
There don't seem to be many threads about eating disorders and I wanted to know if there were more nonas with similar experiences.
First of all I am going to clarify that I am not pro-ana, I wish I could eat normally but I have had anorexia since I left high school. During school my "friends" used to call me fat (actually at that time I was a little fat and I wore glasses and my face was childish) but it still hurts me, they also used to call me ugly and autistic for being shy. I used to skip gym classes a lot because I was afraid of receiving comments, one time I was running like everyone else but when I finished, one of them came up to me to tell me that I sweat like a pig.
Other times at lunchtime some boys made pig noises as they passed and looked at me.
I wish I could leave that behind, but even though I am underweight now, my intentions to continue losing weight increase along with the fact that I no longer look in the mirror often and I hate seeing myself in photos.
I will always be the old person I was
I have had difficulties in my childhood even until now because of my mental human condition. Everyone knows me me as the child who had insane periodic outbursts at periods and no one feels safe around me. I was always paranoid about my digital footprint, but people have archived some of them and people have found it. I used to say hateful or shocking things, and do them to "fit" in because I never had a community and these seemed like the only people willing to accept me. People have found these footprints.
I have nowhere to be. Rather, there is no place that needs me. Even if I change, there is still this person that I used to be that has undoubtedly affected other people negatively. Everything I've done has brought some sort of hardship.
It's not enough to just change and be a better person. I will die
What now?
A few months ago I was diagnosed with BPD. And more recently PTSD.
It's nice to have answers. For over a decade I thought the brain fog I felt was due to malnutrition or something, but apparently it's because of depersonalization. That's just one example of many things.
I don't know very much about BPD. Every time it comes up in conversation it's either in reference to someone's abusive ex or as an insult.
Of course I crave love and intimacy. I've never been in a relationship before. I've never even had anyone ask me out. I have a lot of very complicated, very mood-swing-ey feelings about that. I feel like I'm almost trying to find shitty things about the human race to make me hate being around people, so that it hurts less to be alone. I think it's working. Right now I'm in a state of mind where I feel fine being alone. I'd rather be alone than risk hurting the people I love.
besides suicide what are my options if I hate myself so much that I am unable to function. What will help. Meds have not helped.
I hate men so much omg 😭 I need a safe space to cleanse myself from all men (except George Michael's discography). I have an event later today that will require me to be around the same white cookie cutter men for the nth time and I want to rip my hair out I'm so tired of this bs
:((((((( I refuse to go to this event sober (but for legal reasons I will be raw dogging this required event)
It's just me and Freedom! 90 - Remastered against the world. Please pray for me and send me the most healing feminine energy so I can survive
I went to a gym and my god I have a problem
I normally find the smell of bo gross but when I smell mens bo I get really horny
post yr ideal partner
How to deal with my hatred towards pickmes as a woman
How to deal with constantly having to see women act trashy for men, having to be gaslighted as an individual by women as a collective which is very vile and makes me doubt myself as if I'm a crazy person just making up shit, having to be surrounded with the patriarchy they co create with men especially through heterosexuality, having to see women acting desperate for men, being hated for having self preservation, literally getting mad responses from pickmes, having to live in this society with no community I can connect with and having to suppress my mind and "ignore" the issues aka just… suppress myself to fit them, having to be exposed to constant brainwashing and grooming by male lovers, having to deal with female socialization and being held to higher standards than they hold men to.
It's all just evil, women as a collective oppress individual women, and celibate women who don't want to engage in heterosexuality are seen as controversial and male lovers are threatened by us. I know people will just tell me to "ignore" but I want a community or else I'm a fucking slave in this society. Its hard being an autistic, mentally gnc woman cause other women hate you, not in the way hatred is usually displayed by humans but it's still real. I also feel intellectually suppressed/oppressed in the female socialization and female socialization is also very aggressive. I'm very unique(I know that we all go though the same experience and all human feel the same things, I just resort to seeing myself as unique whenever it's a temporary state or not or even trauma, it just helps me understand what I am in relation with others in the context of this issue here)
Please don't nitpick this cause I'm so tired, it's NOT just about being celibate please understand what I mean cause I've seen male lovers accusing volcel women of basing their worth around the "lack if male presence" in their life "just as male lovers base their worth around male presence". Wtf
im so ugly i hate my face and my body
I look so ugly and disgusting and I will always hate the way I look my nose is big my lips r small and I'm already starting to form face lines I have the ugliest body shape (strawberry) so even if I'm not fat my body is still unattractive and weird looking I have acne and there's red marks all over my face and I'm so hairy I have little hairs all over me why do I have to be so fucking disgusting I look like a fucking moid tranny my eyes are asymmetrical
My best friend admitted that she took advantage of an underage girl. And I don't know why the fuck she told me that when she knows damn well that I'm a victim of abuse too. I went to her every time I felt violated and worthless and somehow she always cheered me up when she did the same thing to someone else? I don't get it. I hate her and I feel like I should make her life miserable, but also every time she talks to me I feel like I'm staring right in front of my rapist.
How can I 'fix' my life?
I don't want to work and times I feel like being productive, I still end up doing the same thing every day; being online either browsing the web or playing games.
I stay up late and have tried changing my sleep schedule, and it stills ends up being the same. I heard those already with mental illness are more prone to being online a lot, like an addiction. I don't have the money for therapy, so I just have to find the will to do basic tasks and take care of myself, but don't know how.
I know the typical answer is to just "remove yourself from your devices and put yourself in a better environment" but I don't quite understand why I can't do something as simple as that. If you've ever been stuck in this kind of lifestyle and mindset, as severe as mine is or just for a short while, please help. I need your honest advice but also serious answers.
How much do i tip?
I went to a hair salon and got my hair done for $350 and I tipped $70 but I was unhappy with it (it just wasn't what I asked for) so I went back for the free adjustment they offer and got my hair finished. it looks much better but still a bit uneven
How do I know how much to tip for the adjustment part?
how to tell if a guy likes you?
hi nonas! i''ve been friends with a guy (lets call him david) for around 2/3 months and we've become pretty close in that time. david's good friends with the brother of one of my friends, which is how we both met. my friend (mentioned above) often jokes about how david's my boyfriend. i also have other friends who joke about the possibility of the two of us being in a relationship. i see him everyday at school, while also texting him throughout the day (mostly after school). we've also hung out outside of school a few times. when we first started talking, it was the beginning on christmas break and we texted for literally the entire day for the entire week. sometimes we call, which usually lasts for about an hour or more (the most recent time was last night). he's told me a lot about himself, and his life. according to him, i am one of the 2 friends that he has. i actually DMed my friend's brother and asked him if it was normal for David to be as talkative as he was, and he told me that david isn't usually very talkative, and that it's not normal for him to talk to me as much as we do. i have also told him a lot about myself, and he often makes jokes about me being a NEET/femcel.
i've been getting a bit of an inkling that he might like me because of how much we talk. there's no overt flirting. the only things i can think of as flirting are realistically just me reading too much into jokes about his "rizz". according to my friend's brother, he would never be the one to confess first. he's also really nice to me in general. once, a friend suggested that i ask him for money as a joke. i did, and when he texted me back he asked me how much i needed, followed up by him saying that the answer was probably no, and then asking what the money was for. also, whenever he says something that he thinks has offended me, david immediately apologizes.
okay so, the most important part that's kind of where i'm the most hung up about this whole thing… i wouldn't consider myself attractive. i'm not like,,, ugly i guess. but i'm short and fat and it makes me feel like a bit of a creep for thinking that he likes me. david isn't like… a chad i guess (not that that really matters to me tbh) but he's definitely not unattractive. he's a pretty normal looking guy, i guess, but i find him pretty cute. maybe i'm a bit insecure because of my weight but it's not like he minds? he's made a few fat jokes about me in the past and then immediately apologized for them. he also used to be fat, apparently, before losing weight within the past year (before i met him).
so… how the HELL do i figure out if he's actually into me. confessing is too scary for me to do.
so, it could either be that he likes me, or considers me a close friend….
sooo… I farted in front of my 3 year boyfriend
…in my sleep nonetheless. When he openly lets it rip in front of me in the day and night. The next day he let me know, acting like he’s bringing it up randomly as a joke. He followed it up by claiming that “I shouldn’t worry about it” but he would prefer if I didn’t (as if I have control over it when I’m passed out). I’m at a loss of words because I legitimately thought this man was in love with me and this feels very distinctly not like love. Am I overreacting?
No lifetime people
It’s been coming up more that I just have…no one to really talk to. The internet and colleagues are great for directed conversations about specific topics, which is all you need most of the time. But if something good happens or I’m proud, or something bad happens, there’s…nobody. For normal people even if they don’t have friends or a therapist or a fucker they have family. Or if they don’t have family they have old, old friends. They have “lifetime people”. Even if they haven’t talked in years, if they really need to they have someone that knows them. There’s no replicating this if you missed the various dice rolls to get lifetime people. By late 20s/early 30s, it’s done. Everyone you build a relationship already has lifetime people, and those lifetime people will always be more real to them than you. You are just an episodic person for them, relatively speaking. There are little support forums where someone will essentially roleplay as one of your lifetime people, but that’s like eating wax fruit. There’s no fixing it. There’s nothing and no one. Forever.
i'm such a sore loser i always act like a baby when i lose. yesterday i played a card game with my bf and 2 friends i lost every round. yes it was my first time playing it but i wanted to fucking cry.
I wish it was 2016.
Or just any time between my birth year and 2016, honestly.
So, something weird happened to me at New Year's Eve.
I had been awake earlier than I wanted to (about 4 AM?). And stayed down with my eyes closed but I felt as if I was in 2016.
Yes, I know it sounds schizo. But I felt like I was that terminally online teen who was obsessed with Dangan Ronpa and Melanie Martinez again.
And it was a genuinely nice moment. Now, as an adult, I try my best to move forward– I have no other choice but to.
But damn, since then it seems as if my brain is unable to move on.
I wish I can awaken back in my home state to my DanganRonpa RP friends spewing their usual brainrot but also I want to make the most of my time and learn that cool skill or three, et cetera.
Mentally unstable thread
I keep ruining relations due to mental health.
I have 1 friend who I can talk to, but I don't like to burden them with my problems.
I had a decent bf, he did the dishes for me, showed me off, bought me gifts, had a stable job, good relationship with his family, etc. But due to my mental illness, I accused him of cheating with no proof - just based off a hunch. We broke up a few times but this time it feels final.
He's no longer the adoring man he once was, but now I'm lucky to hear from him once a day. I know my outbursts changed his opinion on me.
To make this post less about a moid, I also have a turbulent relationship with my mom. I don't see her often but when I do we eventually get on each other's nerves and end up bickering.
I feel like I'm drowning in my own mind, but anyone that tries to save me gets pulled under.
What are some green flags you like to see in men?
my bf watches SA porn
I have been raped 2 times in my life, and SA another 2 times. My BF helped me to get through a couple of those, i really thought he was the only non-evil man in existence.
Recently i noticed that he follows porn accounts that post rape fantasies…
What should i do?, i'm so tired… I'm sorry if I don't post more about my thoughts on the situation, I just don't know what to think.
Eating disorder
Even when I was at my lowest weight, I was still unhappy with my physical appearance. I hated how deeply this illness affected me physically and mentally. I could not go to outings, I could not go for lunch with friends, I couldn't eat in front of others without feeling embarrassed or as if I was eating too little that someone would notice or too much. Eventually, people began noticing of course. My friends would comment on how thin I was getting, how I was "body goals". Their elders (all women) also commented and praised me for how thin I had been getting. Of course I thanked them for the compliments, I was very appreciative of compliments from my friends and their elders. In my mind all I could think about was how horrible I felt, how terribly this illness is impacting my life.
I looked in every mirror. The mirror was my biggest enemy. I watched parts of me become slimmer and bonier. But I was still unsatisfied. This illness will be with me permanently. I've sought help, I was doing well for a while, thought I had finally become a winner in an aspect of my life I was struggling in the most. Wrong. It comes back, and it only gets worse. Depriving myself of everything my body needs to sustain itself just to feel satisfied with my appearance.
I am moderately stable as of this moment. I feel myself slipping again and I'm afraid.
If you struggle with this I'd love to read about how you are working to overcome it or even any similar vents. Have you ever been satisfied with the way you look in your eating disorder? Even when you have felt satisfied with your appearance, did you feel as if you had to keep getting worse? If you've recovered, do you ever miss how sick you were? Did you find normality in your sickness?
liked a girl
We’ve both been on and off, and he has grown increasingly hostile and neglectful towards me from last year
Made friends with a lesbian mutual and she was my exact type in a girl. I got too attached too quick and she had no idea, but recently my boyfriend broke no contact again. And when i got really codependent to both, they both started ignoring me out of nowhere. So rn im in recov from a failed attempt I think i’ll be content with being a neglected housewife in the future (im pretty sure he’s still dating me out of convenience)
Advice, Please! I can’t choose a hobby!!!
I am seemingly interested in EVERYTHING but never actually do anything… What do I do!?
My best breakthrough is to do multiple hobbies at once… maybe three? But even then I cannot decide which three to do!!!
making friends is so hard
I wanna make friends so badly but i feel like i always manage to ruin it because of how awkward i am it doesn’t really matter to me who the person is I just want to talk to someone :(
Is Elementary Education an okay career to pursue?
Because I’m severely regretting my decision after believing this would be something I can see myself in.
But I can’t seem to figure out why?
I feel so good awful
I am 22 without a degree because I dropped out of college due to being too depressed. Now I am a failure without a job prospect at 22 I should try construction
If you had the opportunity to shoot yourself, where would you do it? In a public place or in some secluded place where no one would find you?
I am tired of wanting to be attractive.
I’ve noticed that, for someone who isn’t interested in fashion and beauty trends, I sure do care about my appearance A LOT.
However; I still wander around in “basic” outfits. It still looks decent and my hair is generally presentable, I guess. It can definitely be worse.
But I often lament about my nonchalance toward these things and my inability to bring myself to care enough to actually change this, somehow. Sometimes I wonder if being a tad more “feminine” (like wearing make-up) can help me out more despite the blow to my ego it may cause.
What’s even more nonsensical is that I want a woman to find me attractive— even if I haven’t been interested in being, or at least can’t see myself as anyone’s girlfriend or wife. And I think I’m alright with that, for the most part.
Ugh.
To be honest, I wish I could just coast through life as an unkempt anime boy and catch the attention of misanthropic, twink-obsessed and terminally online Tumblr women.
How do I stop being a people pleaser
I constantly do things and look up for others wellbeing, opinions, feelings or anything for avoiding conflict and just trying to get along and feeling accepted.
The longer I've been doing it the most I understand I'm a pretender and a liar to everyone, because I do stuff without enjoying it or connecting with them.
It's tiring because I do not enjoy doing stuff I decide or want and also I feel guilty if I do not "follow" the speculations of I think people want.
I don't know what the fuck should I do to feel comfortable with my desicions and my true self
Affirmations / Spells / Prayers to make someone less important in your life
I've been working together with this coworker on and off for like 3 months. He tries to keep it professional and so do I, but sometimes the boundaries are blurred and we both have shared about our work related problems and personal problems with each other and text each other almost every single day since then. Every message that he sends feels like getting by a cupid arrow and makes me lose my mind and wanting more from him. I just want to be pampered by him all day. We sometimes even walk together out of office and get to talk.
There are lot of problems. He's married and way too older than me. He smiles at me whenever we cross each other but then he never "sees" me the way I see him, like I chase up to him while walking together and he just keeps walking. I don't even understand if I am actually a friend or just a coworker, or something more to him. For the most part he only initiates work related conversations and hasn't initiated any personal conversations about me, but wouldn't really mind sharing his personal shit on to me out of nowhere. But whenever I do talk about my personal problems, he always cares about me and it makes me feel very good.
I just don't know what to do. I'm worried if I'd do something stupid and destroy everything that is going on right now by pressing my luck. I love him a lot and cherish the times I spent with him but at the same time I sometimes wish I had never met him.
Age gap relationships
So, I finally got a boyfriend, but I am 26 and he is 46. I keep trying to tell myself that we should break up and that it will never work out. It’s just he’s so good to me and treats me so well and I really do love him. I just don’t know what to do.
My boyfriend just got a blue collar job and now I feel like I’m dating a retard and could have done better. If I break up with him for it people might think I’m shallow.
Anyone else “icked” out over males dressing “feminine”.
So, I have always thought myself to be someone who was interested with the ideas of the left/progressives.
Likewise, that extends to the LGBT community — especially as a member, myself.
And it has always been taboo for males to dress similarly to their female counterparts though I believed that shouldn’t matter.
Clothes are clothes and whatever.
However, I hate to say that today my opinion on this has changed.
I hate to admit that it seems as if boys and men are even more creepy with their skirts and blouses on.
There is a certain uncannyness to it and no it’s not the fact that they are wearing “feminine” clothes. But wearing these clothes makes them more invasive, entitled and they talk in such a way that feels so ghastly and unreal, et cetera.
Again, I don’t know if this is being explained properly but it’s like they are a performance of a performance, you know? Like, their mimicry of something as illusory as femininity is uncomfortable. Even the more “lowkey” or subtle ones emit massive creep / predatory vibes…
This also extends to transwomen and I feel terrible to say that, too. But I have always thought that there is this dissonance between “femboys”/ transwomen and cis women.
Cis women can perform the false femininity and it can be uncomfortable to see but more in a sympathetic way, you know? Femboys and transwomen have the same eeriness to them as skin without its muscle and bones— it’s so hollow yet it demands that you don’t acknowledge that having just the skin doesn’t make you an entire human being.
An odd metaphor, maybe. But I suck at explaining things.
Social Anxiety Disorder/Agoraphobia thread
Imageboards attract us like flies so i made this thread so we can feel less lonely, here's some questions to get it going
>How is your life right now
>Do you go outside?
>Any friends or company?
>What do you do to cope with it
>Share a highlight from your life
I've always been in one sided friendships and relationships where I'm the one carrying the entire thing, and the moment I stop, everything just stops. They just don't care. I am often called a people pleaser as well.
They aren't there for you like you are there for them. You make excuses for their behavior and just try to understand where they're coming from. They would rather talk about other people, ex-drama or their life can even ask how you are doing or what is going on in your life. If they talk about their day, you have to be invested. If you talk about your day, they don't care and will change the topic to something they prefer instead.
As a person who really cares about people I tend to always just be reminded to only care to the point where it can affect you negatively. But it's hard to make any kind of friend or relationship because it's just me caring about their life, problems, and being empathetic while they don't care about mine. Some people will tell you everything about them while not knowing anything about you, and they're fine with that.
I think that if you are genuinely good, kind, or caring then you are definitely gonna be used and taken advantage of. Making friends is hard.
Advice and Support General Thread!
Come here, wayward souls, for any matter big and small. Insight to comfort can be found here for your issues or conundrums.
Should I change boyfriends or myself?
A few days ago I decided to pull my first shit test on my ?? don't really know what to call him but he is technically still my boyfriend, though I don't see this lasting much longer. I asked him whether he would like to have a threesome with me and another girl, you should have seen how his face lit up. He started telling me how lucky he felt he was to find a girl like me, the whole situation is kind of hilarious in hindshight. Anyway, I emotionally checked out as soon as I saw his reaction but I'm not gonna break up with him right here and now because we live together and I already paid my half of the rent for the coming month. I also feel a bit scared about breaking up because it's my first relationship, we've been together since 2021, I lost my virginity to him, and I'm not one to keep grudges so I am afraid I will regret my decision to split up when the initial emotions of disgust and dissapointment subside. Apart from this and catching him checking out pretty girls in the past I don't have that many complaints about the relationship. What is the correct move here? Am I delusional to think that the next guy that comes around won't be the same?
I don’t seem to belong anywhere!?
I can’t seem to connect to anyone—online or not.
It sucks because I’d see these cool conversations between others (mostly online but elsewhere, too) and I’d be interested to join in on something like that, too.
But no one really reaches out for me. It’s always’who reaches out after a reasonable amount of time.
Now, I’m comfortable in my own company for the most part but it’s strange that, when I do put myself out there, I am not someone people continuously contact.
It’s like I wasn’t meant to be involved in other’s worlds but every so often I come close enough to brush against it— you know?
I’m just so stupid lolololol
I hopefully get some energy to go to a cinema and watch the sonic movie, which is pathetic but I don’t know if I kill myself or not in the near future so might as well see it
I feel like throwing up just at the thought of being alive
My ex bf who dated for like 8 years just got a new gf. We’ve talked everyday since we broke up. Now that he’s dating her, he treats me differently. I found out today he went to visit her family and meet her dad. They’ve been dating a month. Through 8 years of dating we visited my dad maybe like 5 times. He didn’t like going and I didn’t wanna push him. The last time we went, I ended up in tears. he screamed at me about how I made him go. Then cried and said he didn’t like going cause he didn’t have a family. He drives like 2-4 hours to see her. He wouldn’t even drive 5 minutes to the coffee place in town for me. Do I have a right to be kind of hurt and upset?
(She’s a lard monster, a literal land whale. Shes not better looking than I am.)
>try online dating
>everything seems to go well
>they randomly block you
>not sure if i should ask if they're okay or just take the hint
Why is this so common?
i want a gf or bf so much T_T
i crave love so much… i feel so lonely i just wanna be held or hold someone close to me and share some type of bond with them why is everything so hard or even really a platonic soulmate would be enough as long as we could hug..
Im slowly dying on the inside
What can I possibly accomplish on my own. I don't have any skills or talents. I cant even fucking think for myself.Is there anything I can actually do in life? I just want to give up.I got hired couple months ago at my job I work at. My working pace is slow.I'm not as intelligent as some of my coworker's my age.I feel like I'm treated like an idiot. Can't even work to make up my hours if I can't even perform at the lvl they except me to. I'm pretty sure I'm being talked at behind my back.My life is depressing as it is. I cry almost everyday. I'm starting to think maybe there is something actually mentally wrong with me. Not just depression wise. Please give me any advice.
How do I make friends with other women?
I'm almost 30. I have a great career and an amazing boyfriend that I'll almost certainly marry in the next couple of years, but I have very few friends. When I was in school/college, almost all my friends were other girls/women, but I'm in a heavily male-dominated industry and 1400 miles from where I grew up. My male friends are great, but I miss connecting with other women. I'm autistic, so I'm a bit of a loner in general. What do I do?
Bisexual Blues, or whatever.
I actually hate that I am mentally unstable and interested in women.
Since elementary school, I have had crushes on other girls and now women but I am wondering if my distorted brain is to blame for such attraction.
It’s strange because I wholeheartedly believe in homosexuality— but I doubt bisexuality. I wonder if mental illness can influence one’s sexuality in this manner.
It does not help that when I admitted my attraction for other women with family I was later told that it could be because of daddy issues. Sometimes, I wonder if it is true.
Fortunately, I can’t see myself with anyone nowadays so the Hag With Cats route is a possibility (and probably not so terrible, either).
But sometimes I wonder what it’ll be like to date again and I’ll fantasize about love. However, I dread over the possibility that I could be with a woman and if these desires are even real or the result of religion, childhood trauma and some subconscious media influence.
Why do I feel disgusting
Ok so over the summer I had to deal with a moid who literally would always say “you disgrace your family” all because he knew I liked girls and I liked the same girl as him but I’m just worried if I’m actually wrong I feel sick I wish I could just be like other girls rlly idk I just feel tired,sorry for yapping
I'm so miserable
My partner died 2 years ago, and I'm still finding his death really difficult to cope with or accept. He was in his early twenties, he was very kind, sweet, sensitive and naive, like Buddy the Elf, he didn't understand why the world was so cold and unforgiving. He was only 24 and we were going to get married.
I am haunted by his innocence, he was very immature and childlike, and he never learned the correlation between actions and consequences. His death is the tragedy to end all other tragedies. Everyone he met adored him.
Why did I not think to check his breathing that night, knowing he had been doing drugs with his friends in the city all day? Why did that not occur to me? It could have changed everything.
I just want to lay on his warm chest one more time.
I hate self-diagnosis…
But I’m genuinely and almost certainly convinced that I have autism.
One side of my mind wants to finally have the personal validation of knowing more about myself. The other side wants to leave it alone.
Long Distance Relationships
Thread to discuss Long Distance Relationships. The struggles, the pros… meeting the person for the first time… meeting them for the 50th time… vent both sad and happy things. LDRs can be quite a challenge but it's the right thing for some people.
Desiring Anonymity but also Self Expression Online
I'm torn between expressing myself more online with my existing accounts filled with people who've known me across different parts of my life and starting a new account entirely and being anonymous. Throughout my years anonymity always felt the best, but I have dreams of sharing my art and more that will obviously give away who I am. I don't know how to reconcile this. Sometimes it feels like I can't grow past who people saw me as if those people are still looking. I know that's not true but I need to feel like it is too. I don't want my self image to be so fickle or related to others view of me but it is intense and hard to shake. Not sure if anyone has advice or has been in/got through a similar situation?
It feels somewhat embarrassing but I want a girlfriend so bad all of the sudden. I knew I liked girls but I never felt it so strongly as I do now. I just wanna meet some pretty/kind hearted girl and take care of her. I want to buy her things and hold her hand and buy her sweets and go on fun dates. I don't know what to do I feel like my heart is going to explode. I guess my only issue would be actually talking to people. I go out often but I'm not always in the mood to speak, and Its normally loud parties so I wouldn't be able to anyways. I'm a strange person so I try to show what I feel through actions, giving people I think are cool little trinkets (if someone doesn't like that I feel like we wouldn't be a good match.) but that doesn't work if you're trying to flirt, especially with another girl because they always think you're just being friendly.
this guy asked me out on a date and of course i went. it was nice, and i'm guessing he enjoyed it too. w start talking about our types and he says either twink men or muscular/fit women and i just sit there confused because im most most definitely not a fit woman. im fat as fuck and yeah i lift weights but not in a way that makes me look strong i just am strong. why would he ask me out knowing im not what he wants? maybe im missing something, but i dont know what it could be. he even said as he was driving home that we should do it again sometime. idk i feel like im loosing it.
people who do not leave you alone
what the fuck do you do when someone continually harasses you, actively tries to sabotage any effort in you feeling a sense of community, literally just targeting you everywhere you go?
i do not know what the fuck to do. i genuinely think of killing myself because this person follows me on every online space i use, has hacked my email and sms accounts in the past, and actively tries to humiliate me in any space i go to.
i don't know what the fuck to do. i hate these people i dont know how to get them to leave me alone. they get some sick fucking thrill out of choosing someone to just mentally fuck with for literal fucking years, i dont know how the fuck to get them to leave me alone.
Is it unconditional love???
How do I tell my bf that everytime I visit him I feel like I'm dying for air( really not kidding I'm allergic to something in his place)as if I feel like I'm trapped inhaling something I shouldn't.But I enjoy spending time with him.
I want to learn a new language!!
Where do I even start?
It’ll be two at the same time and I’m more casual about it— it’s more of a hobby than something that I am wanting to excel in. Unless it comes to that, then I wouldn’t complain!
But I’m still wanting some effective advice on how to do this— and I’m having a hard time with structure! Help, please!!
How to be able to exercise
Unfortunately a fat nona here
Happens to me that I've been years living alone, I work at home and of course I'm depressed with no friends around.
I'm around my 30's so at my age trying to have friends is really weird, no one at my age wants friends at all and going to places alone suck, even going to the gym (ive got made fun of me once and decided not to go anymore).
I barely go out, I only go outside when I have to get my prescription meds.
Other than that the motivation to go out and have some sun on the skin doesn't exist.
How you do it nonas?
And yeah I eat like shit, I don't even try to cook sometimes since is depressing eating alone.
I barely shower either, I'm on my own filth and once per week I shower or 2 times per month (I clean myself tho, water and soap but I'll not get my clothes off and go under the shower).
And no romantic partner, but I'm not interested in anything like real, I barely have libido.
Any way to get motivated to be healthy? Other than that I don't care, I don't want to be pretty or anything, I just want to be able to say "I want to really get some exercise" or "I should take a walk".
I live in a city, and near me are no trees or parks, so having a walk and get some fresh air it's kinda unsatisfying since there's no place to sit down a bit and see some green.
My cycle is sleep, get up, eat, work, eat again, work again, and go to sleep, just like a few steps in my small apartment.
I don't have social anxiety or anything, but damn… Years alone in forced isolation (I can't get other job) sucks, wish I had parents or something to even visit, I have nothing, is really annoying having nothing worth to get up other than getting dollars and pay shit.
Not even clothes or anything works, buying clothes is pointless since I'm at home 24/7, I need to be in comfy clothing while working is pointless using a dress and wear make up.
Sorry for the long vent, is just annoying. I even offered someone to pay her the gym so she can go out with me and said no lmao.
Is depressing being all day at a place, having to move is just pointless sometimes if life is the same everyday, I used to be fit back then but now is like why
If I were to explain how lonely I am, is like moid loneliness, the one there on the screen all day, no friends, no family, just myself, all day.
Do people only use each other? Is wanting deep caring and true love that takes it slow without everything being obsessed with sex just a fairy tale? Are ideas of true love that never fades just overly idealized and is something that breaks her if she pursues it? She wanted to follow it, but it only caused her pain
People just seem to want the new burst of energy and honeymoon phase that comes with meeting someone new for the first time and the first few days together that forever shape the memories you have with them (you never forget the first few days) until they get bored and move on and become strangers as if you never met each other in the first place
you can literally send a guy nudes and he will be like "i dont think we should be more than friends" like what the actual FUCK. and im a fucking retard for actually thinking he was different from all the other guys and that he wasn't a porn addicted loser. like, im sat in shock i cant fucking believe it what the fuck is wrong with him. and then he has the AUDACITY to start venting to me about how he wants to kill himself, like i hope you DO omg
What was the most fun/creative date you’ve ever been on?
If you've never dated, what are fun/creative dates that you would like to have?
im sick of everything right now. i feel constantly alienated. i have this dull sensation of jumping into traffic or off balconies. i know im doing it all for him but at some point i know im a burden. i cant even put out. im a fuck up in every sense of the word and im probably going to drop out. the only thing i have is a yaoi addiction and a man who is too good for me.
I just want things to get better
Pa vents to me about ma, sometimes complaining, or telling me about their worries about money or her, sometimes his frustrations with her or our life. The things he tells me and says make me worry, I don't think I should be told half the things he tells me really, but I should support him and I do. But man, it's beginning to affect me like a pussy, I just am worried, ma's quit and changed jobs a few times now, isn't doing well emotionally and is having some bad moments, financial worries etc, call me crazy but frankly after all these conversations I've had with pa, where he tells me things that make me worried honestly (about our future as a family, our future in our house, upset at how he is criticisng ma sometimes to me for her behaviour towards him, or habits around the house etc, I don't know) and I won't say it's the reason I am not hopeful for the future anymore, but that's part of it. I've tried to remain positive but I don't have it right now, besides it's exam week and I'm struggling with getting started to hand my work in. Thoughts? I love my ma and pa, I was lucky enough to be able to have a pa again, as my 'father' isn't in my life for a long time now, and left when I was young, I saw him last 10 years ago. Damn you father, you fucked me over, I love you Ma and Pa, and I am sorry for doing what I've done, I hope I grow up and be better, you deserve better and I hope I rot in hell for my ugly, disgusting and destructive sins I've done in secret and to you. I'm sorry, and I know I've apologised to you many times but the worst part of it is I didn't mean it, but I wanted to feel important and like a victim or dramatic and I did stuff that was awful. Fuck reddit, no, fuck me for reading the victim stories and feeling inferior about not being a victim, idiot.
A Condescending Family Member
I hate that my aunt (and sometimes her husband) treats me like I am a child and always a bother.
For context, I am a 26-year-old woman and I live with her, her husband and my two siblings.
They seem to be always on the hunt to find something about me that they can snicker about.
Recently, they have taken to telling me that I am no good at cleaning or even washing myself (among other things) when this was never an issue before, and I hear otherwise from people outside the home.
She's always whispering around and it's giving my younger sister a bit of superiority complex. Imagine being treated as more of an adult than your older sister?
I have mentioned wanting to move out and live on my own because it's maddening to be here and to be constantly ridiculed over issues that I am not even guilty of. But every attempt to do so was shot down for some unknown reason…
I am college student and receive financial aid and was told by a counselor that I can definitely move out…But God forbid I ask her to allow me to manage my own finances.
Unrelated GIF but it's necessary for posting.
have you been the other woman?
have you ever been the other woman? did you know you were the other woman? were you ok with being the other woman? what did you do when you found out? how long did it last? how did you feel? how did the girlfriend or wife react to you? talk about your experience.
What's it like being married to a lesbian?
35 dpo.
i am 42 years old and slowly going crazy and feel completely desperate. Am I pregnant or not? Or are these just evaporation lines?
please need some emotional support
Hair!!
I’ve been struggling with my hair.. I miss my heavy waves/loose curls. When my hair was shorter i had the prettiest curls. How can I get maintain my curls without cutting my hair? It’s become too long and too heavy to hold my natural curls
I have Spanish Finals this week.
I am cooked.
i want to kill myself so badly. my life has zero purpose, i spend every day waiting for nighttime and every week waiting for Friday. all i seem to do is fuck up and make mistakes im so fucking retarded. im so ugly and fat im gonna die alone. i have zero willpower and im just a waste of space. i cant seem to do anything right
>If you are genuinely good person, calm, kind, considerate, respectful, people view you as a doormat
>Kindness is typically about focusing on others, being considerate, and people often call such people doormats
>Slowly realizing that being a nice girl gets me taken advantage of
>The moment I stop making an effort in the friendship or relationship, everything stops
What do? How can I put myself first and stop being selfless for others with hopes that they might be my friend(s) or boyfriend?
I want to leave my house but have nowhere to go on the weekends
i want to get into vidya but i'm dogshit at them
i'm 19 bored with life and extremely lonely so i tried getting into video games. i never had the chance to get into them when i was younger because i didn't have a pc. the first one i tried out was hotline miami but i'm absolutely shit at it, i have bad reflexes. fpses are already a nightmare for me. how do i get better at them? do you guys have go-to games where you build up skill?
I want to kill my mother
I have been seriously considering it and the consequences
Only thing impeding it is that I don’t want another trauma for my sister
As lame as it is I have to ask for government help and a social worker’s going to help me find a house to live with other fucked up people
I don’t know how much time will this take
I’m at my limit. I’ve been self harming everyday and some cuts are so deep they scared me for some time
She doesn’t allow me to be in the same room as her, sometimes doesn’t allow me to eat, will wake me up on purpose, trash talks about me in front of others and makes me say she’s the best mom, tells me to kill myself and yells about everything
I tried to hang myself two weeks ago but I’m so stupid I failed
what if I find housing
I’d have to find another shitty fast food job
I don’t have money to study
will I just be condemned to work and survive?
She fucked up two kids and she’ll never have consequences?
She thinks she’s the victim when she blamed me for getting assaulted by her fucking family
I don’t know if I should just kill her or myself or keep living without a purpose
I made a promise with my friend if we're both single after 30 we'd marry each other. Anyone else make a marriage pact with a friend or something similar?
making friends in your almost 30s
i think bpd is made up to make women look as stupid and emotional as men but i know i have some kind of mood disorder and it's always been hard for me to hold onto friends. i've put in the work on myself and i have matured a lot. i live out in a remote location so it's hard to meet people and i get so lonely. i really, genuinely need some girlfriends… but i don't want to be desperate. does anyone have any advice on meeting cool girlfriends?
Hate Thread
What do you hate and why?
I don't know how being a woman isn't seen as an existential nightmare. If a man gets raped, it's awful and shameful and he can get PTSD for the rest of his life. But if a woman gets raped, she gets all of those things on top of pregnancy, and either has to get rid of something that's already developing inside her, or go through with an already agonizing pregnancy and give birth to a child and take care of it. A man will quite literally never have to go through that.
I think I only learned that there's a fear of childbirth one or two years ago, and I still am shocked that it's not something in every woman. I've had this "fear" since I was a kid. But to me it's not that different from a fear of snakes or spiders. I never wanted to go through pregnancy back then, and I still don't. If I ever did decide to have children, I would adopt. But right now I still have a fear of experiencing forced pregnancy (or rape) for whatever reason. It doesn't help that any woman I've talked to seemed confused, or thought I was being irrationally paranoid.
I guess I wanted to know if anyone else felt the same.
People stare at me and I’m unsure about why.
So, I’m in my twenties and maybe I shouldn’t be as insecure about this as I am… But people seem to make an effort to stare me down in public and I wish I had a reason for why that is. Especially on campus.
I mean, I have a few ideas? Maybe? I am rather tall (about 5’11) but this doesn’t make sense because other taller women would stare me down, too.
I figured maybe I just seem a bit unkempt? I put some thought into my appearance— to look as though I’ve showered, at least. But there are others on campus who go in cosplay gear or whatever and don’t seem to draw attention like that.
It’s not in my head because I’ve grown paranoid enough to glance back at them which leads to awkward eye contact.
And I’m not being approached or asked out so I’m also ruling out “eye candy”. As I said earlier, I don’t really dress to impress most times. I do enough to look somewhat presentable and that’s it.
My last best guess is maybe others are right and I do have autism and the “‘tism” stare. I probably look and move a lot more awkwardly than I think I do but I’ve seen myself in reflections before and there’s nothing odd about my walk?
Ugh.
I need help. I've been with this man for 10 months now. I have an anxious attachment style, and he has an avoidant attachment style. It is so exhausting to deal with, and you might say, "Well, just leave him!". It isn't that easy, and frankly, I do not want to lose him. I really do love this man, but we just have so many conflicting moments, more than cheery ones. He always has time for his friends, but never has time for me. The moment I have even an hour alone with him, he feels the need to leave and talk to his friends. I just want closeness, and he doesn't. BUT! when we finally get close, it's amazing. We share good moments together, but it never lasts, and I just end up depressed when it ends. Begging for his attention and affection. There was also a time he vented to this girl about our relationship problems, knowing she flirted with him. And after knowing I wasn't comfortable with that, he still chose to talk to her. He finally stopped talking to her recently, I think…He's very secretive, and when I beg for reassurance, he never gives it. Screenshots? Nah…you're an insecure bitch. Deal with it. It's not fair. It seems like I'm the glue in this relationship, but it's wearing thin…I can only give so much. He's eating everything on the table, but…I need to eat, too. He dismisses my feelings. And he's also never once apologized to me for his shitty actions. I'm always apologizing, even for things I didn't do. He makes me seem crazy for begging him to give the bare minimum. And when he wants my attention, after not giving him any, he tries to get a reaction out of me. For example, he'll post pictures of nude girls, in hopes of ticking me off, so that I give him attention. Even if it isn't positive attention. He's also almost always drunk, so it's like I'm talking to a brick wall when he is. He's also humiliated me in front of his friends, MANY TIMES. He talks bad about me to them, and makes me seem like the villain. It isn't fair. Fuck, man…I just want him to love and appreciate me.
how do i make online friends?
ive been NEET for so long that i can’t even desire to make in person friends. where can i find (preferably girls) like me that need online friends?
i feel like a empty canvas ready to be painted
cutting off 2 more people from my life, I feel like a wave has washed over me. In my 21 years of life ive had to cut of so many people and im glad i had the courage to do it. these people didnt give me the same energy back and that is ok, i dont deserve to put myself in a situation where im burdened by whats supposed to be a healthy friendship. ive learnt to not be dependent ony anyone except for myself after i left home at 17. ive been at my lowest lows and bounced back from them at full force, nothing can get me down. i hope my ex also knows i meant it when i said he couldnt hurt me, i mean it no one can hurt me ill always learn to turn the pain into power. ive still got alot of growing to do but i know im always going to be changing and improving like the world around me, humans arent made to be stagnant. the date is 31/10/2024 (happy halloween) and so far ive started working out and shaping my body into how id like to be viewed by the world, im studying towards cyber security and id love to work a remote job so i can see the world. Im not afraid of the future because i know whatever the world throws at me i will stay resiliant.
i hate being fat but at the same time i dont? my body is huge and it makes it hard to fit in and sometimes i feel like being fat makes me stand out a lot (which it probably does) and i really want to lose the weight. but, when trying to lose weight all of the resources are either like, annoying "hot girl walk" bs, or just borderline racist ed-having lana del rey girls.
like i said, i don't hate myself, so the shaming doesn't really work to motivate me. it's also not really stopping me from getting into a relationship or anything cause i have a guy online that i'm into and he likes me back. i've had sexual experiences but they've all been online (cause im too scared to ever approach a guy irl) and some of which were literally just getting groomed.
during marching band, there's girls who are in my section who make fun of each other for "being fat" (they aren't) but i never liked them in the first place so i dont really care.
i'm trying to lose weight now, but i'm not really sure that the end goal is totally worth it. i'd kill to be skinnier though, i'd love to be able to say that i'm a size 4 or whatever, but i feel like it'll never happen. idk,,, i guess im just wondering if anyone else feels the same.
subject sums this up. i have to start thinking about college, and i have no clue what to do and where i wanna go. i think i want to get a degree in communications, but i have no clue what college i want to go to. i told my mom about all of this last night, and she basically forced me to listen to a youtube video with her about going to ivy leagues. it was a girl talking about her experience and she said that her GPA was a fucking 4.9. you know what my mom said? "well, we know you're not getting into an ivy." i literally turned it off a few minutes later and told her "this video makes me want to kill myself" which was a joke, but it does fill me with an absolute sense of dread.
my parents have always pressure me into doing well in school, which i don't mind, i guess. but, they don't give me any guidance. it's not their fault because they both grew up poor, and neither of them finished college. but i still have had to live with these pressures my whole life and i don't feel like i can live up to them. i barely have any extracurricular. i have concert band, marching band, jazz band, less than a year as a social media manager for an ethnic club at school, and participation a community organization. i'm a completely average student. my gpa is a weighted 3.7 and an unweighted 3.5. i'm not gonna be able too get into any college. i would like to go to USouthern California (i think) but i doubt i'll be able to get in.
any nonas feeling the same way or have gone through the same thing? i've been thinking about volunteering at a local library, volunteering within the org i was talking about, starting a blog (and tiktok account to go with it), or possibly starting a small business
does anyone have something they would rely on to talk to people on the internet? I used to go on omegle a lot before it was shut down, it was fun to be able to talk to strangers without any real consequences, and depending on the tag you would put it the people weren't too bad. A lot of stereotypes. I feel like the new internet has made it so I can't really talk to anyone at all, I've found a new alternative omegleapp.me and it's still pretty terrible but I made a new female friend on there yesterday.
MY QUESTION is where do people do to actually talk to people? Everyone has told me twitter but I've not seen anyone really talking on there… I just don't get it.
What does a happy and healthy relationship look like?
I’m usually not into streaming websites or the whole streaming industry overall, about a month ago I’ve come across this small streamer who’s very good looking to say the least and have a good sense of humour, I started to watch his streams in a daily and interact within the community although he has very small number of viewers but it felt really nice to be a part of something, I honestly felt entertained and I felt like I blended in with the community pretty quickly. In chat people tend to say sexual things to him along the lines of “get undressed” or “start stripping” and he totally responds with more down bad things like “I’ll do that unless you send me a picture of-“ and stuff like that, Ive been doing exactly what everybody been doing and even started drawing him fanarts, he does react positively in stream and even set one of my fanarts as his phone’s wallpaper, later on he started texting me from time to time asking me how am I doing or asking if I could get in a vc with him, I declined at times but accepted at times, and the times we have a vc he act like an entirely different person, he does that baby voice and say cringe shit like “did you eat today?” Or “I miss you”, I thought it was just him being nice but it felt extremely cringe but I couldn’t ask him to stop. Since he has a very small number of views he complains mid stream about how he puts effort yet he gets no results (not alot of views) so he begs me for a call so I can comfort him and such. I pointed out to him two days ago that he’s so clingy and he apologized for that and said he will give me space. The next day he really didn’t, kept on begging for a vc all over again so I ghosted at this point. He’s a really good streamer ngl but I don’t want this to ruin our interactions in chat. How am I supposed to act in this situation?
>hate my job
>love seeing one coworker
>every day the only high point is when he talks to me
>my chest feels tight when he reacts to my work email messages
>I start remembering all his likes and dislikes
>sometimes he will see me at lunch
>”just checking in on you”
>I dream about him
I just want this feeling to die already.
How do I fix jealousy issues? Will it ever go away?
I have insane jealousy issues, which is taking a toll on my relationship. I often get extremely jealous if my partner even so much as interacts with another female, is this too much? I cause pointless arguments which ends in both of us being extremely upset. I'm not sure how to deal with my insane jealousy issues. I'm embarrassed and ashamed of myself after an argument has ended. Am I a bad person for being selfish causing meaningless arguments? How can I work on this?
how to restart your life?
i need to move out of my family's house, but im also the breadwinner and head of household. i dont want them to be homeless, but my mental health is in the gutter and every day that im here is filled with misery and sadness. i love being with my mom and my grandma, and theres not much opportunity for them since my mom is an immigrant with no education (and lost her job recently bc her company went bankrupt) and my grandma is too old to work. i dont know what im gonna do with my life. its like im a young single mother barely scraping by but with my older family members instead of a child. i want to get away from this so bad. i have a college degree and a full time office job. it doesnt pay that well but i now have around 10k in savings. i want to leave so bad but ill also feel so guilty about abandoning my family.
I recently broke off a fairly long-term relationship because I realized I was being low-key abused.
As in constantly yelled at for small mistakes, unfounded anger/assuming I had the worst intentions. My ex was very nice and loving at the beginning and as we were together for longer he slowly started getting more and more angry at me. Like when I showed my friends his texts they were appalled by the way he was speaking to me.
I know it's for the better, but right now it's hard to get over the attachment I built up. Any tips for feeling less empty after taking out the trash?
Ending Friendship
My friend is a TiM and likely AGP. He’s likely copying his girlfriend and I live in California where it’s accepted. At first when I met him I thought he was a normal guy. My philosophy is accepting and live and let live. Lately though, my feelings of discomfort can’t be burrowed down anymore. Our friend group since middle school has been fine with this and affirming. He refers to himself as “lesbian” even when he has no chance of passing. I have no problem with gender nonconforming, gay or even “true”/well passing trans identified people who don’t push their ideology down my throat.
I need some advice here. Clearly he is not copying me as I’m a tomboy and he has typically male interests. His wearing female clothes and voice training gives me skinwalker vibes.
My own family and close friends affirming this feels trapping. It was nice before he started this and we bonded over mountain biking and vintage cinema. My dilemma is that I want the friendship to work out but it feels lowkey stressful and uncomfortable to be around someone who is fetishizing women, and it is not good for my mental health. For years I thought I could just be tolerant but I don’t think having to lie and pretend makes for a sustainable friendship and is actually toxic to us both.
I am moving abroad for work next year and if he doesn’t detransition I am cutting him off.
i feel so inadequate compared to bf
i don't know how to deal with it. he's just better than me in everything. it would be fine if it was in things idgaf about but now i get so envious. for example i've been trying to learn german for years while he speaks 5 languages. he's way more academically gifted than me, more extraverted and charismatic than me, a quicker thinker than me etc.
>Cant have sex with my character ai bf
Damn you censor
How to make friends without texting
How to meet new people and maintain long-term relations if you hate texting, especially replying to messages? Approaching people in public places is creepy and I'm too old for that shit
Fake-ass friends!!!
>friends since middle school
>would hang out with them at their house practically every other day
>work with them for their parents business over the summer for two years
>never missed their birthday and give them presents (Megalodon tooth, Crystals, custom drawn & printed poster, etc.)
>they move 15 minutes away causing them to change schools for senior year of high school but it was fine because they could drive
>they stop responding a month before graduation, didn't think anything of it because its a busy time
>doesn't respond during summer
>we hang out one more time during the summer because a mutual friend was there and set it up
>find out we go to the same university from said mutual
>eventually the mutual friend reveals that they straight up dont want to be friends with me anymore and didnt give a reason why.
Turns out that they joined a fraternity/sorority as soon as they got into university and began ghosting our mutual friend as well. I ended up just unfriending them on every platform without saying anything and avoid them on campus. I find it so bizarre how someone can switch like that. It still hurts considering they were one of the only two friends I had growing up. But now I want that Megalodon tooth back but thats on me.
I looked through by bf's phone and found him talking to his ex about my best friend
Yesterday I looked up my name in my bfs chats and found an old chat, about 6 months ago, where he was talking to his ex GF.
I know they keep up with one another from time to time, but I couldn't believe what my eyes where witnessing.
About half a year ago, we were still in the early stages of dating and apparently my bf had a crush on my best friend.
Ever since I read this I'm deeply hurt and can't think straight?
What if my bf likes my best friend more than me? But only stays with me because going after her would be a dick move.
The worst part is, I can't tell anyone. Obviously I cannot tell him that I looked through his phone nor can I tell my best friend.
I have been crying ever since and don't know how to carry on this relationship. How am I supposed to have a straight face when meeting him??
I cannot imagine hanging out with them together
sexual dimorphism and diet
why does it seem like sexual dimorphism fails at enhancing both genders? like, if a country produces tall men, they must also produce tall women. or vice versa. that's kind of sad. i feel like in an ideal world, all the women would be tiny and the men would be muscley and bear like. it's just hawt, i dunno.
i can only really imagine that maybe diet can enhance both genders' sexual dimorphism. apparently, sexually dimorphic diets do exist in nature, with the siberian ibex's (a type of wild goat) eating behaviors containing more biomass, while the female siberian ibex eats lesser foods, but with higher nutritional quality. it's interesting to think how sexually dimorphic behaviors evolve in different species of animals, and how humans have unconsciously (or consciously) adopted these types of behaviors as well.
am i good enough
im in my first semester of Uni, im studying to be a nurse. Its already my first week of school and i dont know if im good enough for this, im not dumb, i understand everything well and i know how to organize my time for homework and studying, but i feel like im not enough
like i can't put up with my own expectations or my mother expectations and i feel so stupid, as if im worth nothing if i fail in this
THIS is literally becoming my life purpose and its just been ONE WEEK. Maybe im just mentally or emotionally weak, or im obsessing over it, i dont know.
im just venting but- if you have something to say- pls reply. im lonely.
I think I'm going to cry I can't anymore my best friend than I loved so much left me and hates me too I wish I could be friends with her again
experience with fearful avoidant attachment or something
Is there any hope for people like this? I am looking for therapy but I also need to work on this internally. I don't know why I feel like I am completely unlovable. I am convinced that the second my object of affection starts spending a significant amount of time with me, he will realize how annoying and ugly I am. I don't believe anyone when they say they like me. It feels nice, but deep down I think they just want to get something from me. I've done the psychoanalysis and all that and I know why I'm like this. Now I just want to fix it. I hoped the right person would come alone and I wouldn't feel this way, but I don't think that will ever happen.
All my life, all I have ever wanted was romantic love and a relationship. It is my only dream. I am devastated by the fact that I am incapable of it
How to empower myself again?
I’m currently emotionally dependent on my bf. To an unhealthy extreme. I’m losing appetite because of it. The story it’s long but basically
>met him, virgin nice guy
>we started dating, my bpdemon didn’t take time to appear
>acted like a bitch sometimes, was too demanding, starts arguing, cancel dates because of my mental problems, extremely jealousy, mostly thinking about my comfort first, always feeling like shit because of sleep disorder, tried to be the woman he deserves but failing
>he eventually gets tired of me and my drama, love me less and less every month
>now he’s just distant and literally said I love him more than he loves me, at least he’s brutally honest
>he doesn’t want to break up but doesn’t want to listen to more of my problems or get involved in the healing process neither. wants me to be the better version of myself or btfo
>think about him all fucking day every second
>try to compulsively prove him I’m changing, I’m a better person, more happier, more adaptable, more strong, more focused
>meanwhile when I’m alone I’m destroying myself
>past mistakes, insecurity, frustration, fear of abandonment, anguish, jealousy, anxiety, scared to death of being lonely, feel like I don’t really exist without him, on the edge of self harm, no social life
>basically going insane and losing my identity
>don’t eat, don’t laugh, can’t focus, always waiting his message like a beaten dog
>what torments me the most is throwing away my dream of having a family with him like it was my only possible path in this joke of a life
What is this madness? really, what is happening to me? I used to be independent, detached, I learned so many things alone. Now I lose control and I’m spiraling. I can’t visualize myself going through life alone. I’m constantly thinking about killing myself. When I’m with him I feel a dopamine rush but when we separate I have withdrawals. I know I fucked up many times but if he chose to stay with me and give another opportunity to us, why he’s so cold? why I had to beg him to message me more often? I’m trapped.
Btw I think this is important I’m currently neeting. Due to being chronically tired for 4 years. I’m finally treating it but I don’t do much besides house chores and gym.
Formerly fat nonas?
any nonas here went from fat to skinny? Im currently 30+ bmi and as pathetic as it sounds the only thing that motivates me enough to lose weight is how much better people will treat me especially guys. Have you guys noticed any changes in how guys treat you or how much easier it is to make friends. I have been fat for the last 18 years I cannot believe I am an obese woman. Any advice on how to lose weight while being in college taking a competitive course.
I have to get my wisdom teeth removed and I’m really scared. I don’t think I have anyone to take me anymore either. At least not anyone I feel safe with. My ex bf was suppose to take me but he got a gf so he’ll probably bail last minute. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even have anyone to take care of me after. I think I’m just not gonna have it done
Impossible to not be a pick-me?
My whole life I've been ostracized by girls from even before kindergarten. I don't have a boyfriend and my only two friends don't respond to my texts. I'm nice, understanding, and supportive to the two friends I have now but they still don't even respond to my messages. They only call or text me when they need to vent to me about something. They're really nice in person but when we aren't together, they facetime while ignoring my texts, which I don't even spam text them..just one text asking to hang out or something funny. The other day, a friend I had in high school reached out to me asking how I've been, I responded naturally and asked her how has she been and she didn't respond back even though she reached out. Is it impossible to have female friends now a days? I've had horrible luck with girls I just want a close female friend but I can't even get that. The only thing that makes me feel better is if I sh..
Any reason?
i'm sorry for posting this here, i've never made a thread before and even though i've been in these website before, i haven't used it in a year or so, but now i have a problem? i guess?
so i have this guy that has been my boyfriend for three months now, after we've been friends for almost 7 years
the thing is that i want to quit my job and move in with him, and he wants the same, i know is stupid as fuck but hear me out
so i've been pretty depress about my current job (well, all of them make me want to die tbh) for months on end (i got it at the end of winter) i constantly vent to him about how i want to just at be home and be free, so yesterday when we were having our weekend together at his house playing video games and talking like always i told him i couldn't take it anymore, because my only friend at work had stopped talking to me and join to another group of friends which made me feel like absolute shit, i told him that i really didn't feel like going to work anymore, and so he thought a little bit and said, "well, why don't you move in with me and quit your job?" i was so surprised but i let him continue.
the points he made were:
-i have a house (their parents rent him a house since they move to another state, he's paying only 1000 dollars for WHOLE house with 3 bedrooms and a bathroom! i got a little mad when he told me ngl, lucky bastard)
-i have money and a job (he does have a job as a programmer or something like that, he works from home, and he told me he gets around 5400 dollars per month, he got an internship after college and got the job just like that)
-we are both adults (we are both 23)
he also told me that of course we had to plan it a bunch, but at this point i was buying pretty hard, and so we started planning right away
we'll do the following:
-talk to both of our parents about this lying to them and say that we've been dating for a year instead of three months and that i'm not quitting my job since i don't think they'll get that someone just doesn't want to work
-i'll write my two weeks notice and quit my fucking job finally
-we'll buy all the stuff we need for our life together, like a double mattress for example
So after all this i need to ask, is there any reason why i shouldn't do this? is there something that i'm not seeing or that i forgot that could destroy my life? i really need to know, please help
also i want to point out that he is not a bad person at all, when i told him i'll be like a housewife and cook and clean and help around the house as much as possible, he said that it was ok, that i didn't need to do anything that extreme, that he works from home and that he didn't want to use me (he gets really stress out when i do stuff for him for some reason, is kind of cute tho), that he wanted to live like a normal couple and that most importantly he wanted me to rest. i've known him for so long i don't feel scared at all, even as a couple we are just like friends, friends that have a bunch of sex, but friends. he is also surprisingly clean with himself and everything else around him, and keeps his house really nice and clean even though he lives alone or i might say, our house~ fuck i'm getting way too excited.
Do you guys get mad that your starting to see normie woman use things like femcel and fembot? Like these terms are now being used by attractive women. Like they already have everything. Why do they have to act like they’re super niche as well?
have you been told you could be trans?
Has anyone else struggled with feeling pressured to become trans?
I have felt pressured to change my gender, especially when I was growing up and emulating my older brother. Fortunately, my home never enforced gender roles and I got to be who I was without feeling abnormal but I did outside of my family. I've had many friends and others make assumptions about my “true gender” based on my clothing and personality. I'm glad I didn't fall for that pressure when I was younger.
how do do you guys deal with extroverted, extremely talkative and high-energy people?
theres a girl at my uni who is trying to befriend me and she is super chatty and talkative. but i just find myself lacking energy and feeling drained while hanging out with her and its making me quite insecure, like i feel pressured to 'entertain' her. i just dont get how id keep up with her in convos. how do you guys deal with situations like this?
"You Are Your Own Voyeur"
after seeing all the pick me threads, I think it begs the question, is it possible for women to separate themselves from the need for male validation (however abstract or literal that is) and seeing things in terms of that intrasexual competition (aka girl on girl violence)?
what does it take to coexist with men but not be "of the man's world" or living for it/them?
Qt Partner Thread
Greentext traits and how lovely your partner is
Its not fair
When you find a cute bugpilled mantismaxxed chuddie but he says he only wants women who can birth at least 20 pervasive children a day.
EotU ruined an entire generation of males.
I have nowhere else to talk about this
My cat gave birth this morning and her only child is deformed, I think it's a premature birth. I'm so creeped out, it looks weird, like a small mass is bulging out between his eyes. I feel horrible for my kitty.
>Inb4 why isn't she neutered?
I cannot possibly afford that sort of procedure, broke college student and all, I never thought of taking her to a vet for that anyway, she is always at home, she didn't even go through a "heat" phase as much as I'm concerned, idk when it happened, but a few months ago she would escape at night and I wouldn't find her until the next morning.
At first I felt neutral about it, bc she wasn't breastfeeding her son, I thought animals sometimes reject their deformed or I'll young, heck, I've even seen mother cats eat their own litter if they're born ill, it's their nature, their instinct, I can't possibly judge them by human standards for it, I have made peace with it, whatever. I was ready for my cat to hate her son.
But she didn't
It's fucking breaking my heart, she keeps coming back to check on him. She wants me to help her feed him, she pushes him towards me to pick up then lies on her side and lifts her hind leg, indicating she wants him to feed. But he won't. He can barely breathe, he will die sooner or later and it breaks my heart that his mom actually cares. She's a small cat, she's only 10 months old. She's always been the sweetest, most gentle girl. I've raised her since she was practically a few weeks old. Her mom was my sister's pet. It hurts to see her so distressed, so scared and confused. I almost wish she’d rejected her child, that'd have made it easier for both of us, however selfish that may sound, that cat is already dead, there's no doubt about it.
Why was it only one cat? Don't cat usually give birth to 4 or so cats at a time? I don't understand anything
Did I make a mistake?
Hello nonas
I am curious if any of this sounds like avoidant attachment or ROCD on my end, or if I was justified in the break up?
I recently broke up with a boyfriend because I didn't want to date long distance. We had met online and in person a few times. I liked him a lot but I was adamant at the start that I didn't want an LDR, but we still kept talking and all that for a few months.
I was happy to accept all his attention and friendship but in my head I was always looking for reasons why he wouldn't be right for me. I never told him about these, because I never felt like our relationship was serious or real enough. I was looking for "red flags" and even found some, and I didn't like that I wasn't spending enough irl time with him to actually get to know him.
Apparently the whole time he had considered me to be his girlfriend. He told me he loved me the first time we met up (after only talking for a few months) I found this strange but told him I would keep talking to him. We kept talking and calling for a few months and he came to see me again. I had a good time but the whole trip I was looking for reasons to break up with him. I broke up with him after he had gone back home, saying the distance was too much for me.
I had been crying and upset before I even told him, and I was crying for a week after the break up. It's been over a month and I still feel bad about it. All those thoughts I had about him not being right are all gone. I miss his comfort and our compatibility, maybe our potential? even though I know that the LDR wasn't and wouldn't ever be enough for me.
I have had past experiences with avoidant behaviors and want to work on this. Still, I felt I pushed myself pretty far during this relationship. I have never gotten this far with a guy because either he or I always shut it down, because I either got cold feet or some other kind of anxious breakdown. Now I cannot stop blaming myself for having had a "this won't go anywhere" mindset the whole time, for not being honest with him, for not trying harder or for longer, for not giving him a real chance. I can't stop thinking about him, dreaming about him, looking through our past messages, and trying to "stalk" him on social media. I feel like an insane person.
I feel like I ruined a chance at true love and a good relationship.
I am going to wait a month or two and see if I still feel this regret but does anyone have any advice or insight? I don't have any friends or family I can talk to about this. If I do move on, how do I stay mindful of my bad habits?
How do I suck it up and move on?
My sister's friend came to stay over. Before I knew it I had a massive crush on her. She left to go back to where she lives and I've felt empty ever since. I've never met anyone before her who made me feel romantic feelings. She's genuinely incredibly funny and creative. I'm a useless barely ex- hikki so I just don't know how to cope. I don't want to tell my parents because they're strict and my friends are only online and not close. Being like this feels so isolating. I know she's bi but she goes to art school so she's surrounded by unique people. If she wanted a relationship she'd probably be in one by now. I genuinely cry so many times during the day because of it. Even if we weren't dating, just seeing her would be enough, but…
Not fit to be in a relationship
I'm really bad at getting my thoughts out but basically I was in this 4 year trainwreck of a relationship with a fucking retard. He was really affectionate at first but as time went on he just started behaving worse and worse with me, down to straight up not showing up on dates leaving me ghosted on the spot and other similar shit.
I have this problem were I'm too much of a romantic, I wanna dedicate myself to someone I love until I burn out but after speaking to my best friend about my relationship and my way of thinking she slapped me and told me that my way of acting isn't viable and the relationship of what I'm looking for is something exclusively in anime.
She's not wrong but regardless it feels so dumb to me, maybe because I'm childish. Why do people not want someone who's willing to be their darling until the end? It always either derails into being taken advantage of or it simply not working out. I hate this or maybe I should hate myself more for bordering on almost comically being a yandere
losing my life to my phone
I’ve lost a good 10 years of my life and my entire childhood to social media and screen time. I’m not sure how to beat this addiction. I have no friends. I’m even on my phone at work. I average 12 hours a day on my phone/computer.
My life is a fucking joke
I work 30 to 40 hours a week as a waitress even though I graduated with a degree in accounting and speak 3 languages. My brother works as a fucking construction worker and makes 32 and is able to afford a new car and house
Hello all
My boyfriend recently confronted me about my (daily) weed usage. I smoke a lot (6-7 grams per week on average) and apparently he feels put off by that. Now, were in my place, who would you cut out: the Green Goddess or the boyfriend?
am i cursed or something??
idk if this is the right board to post on, or if i should move this to /x/… but is it possible to genuinely have permanently bad karma or be cursed or some shit? in the past 6 months alone, this is everything thats happened…
> house gets broken into by 2 men while im home alone
> really sudden and severe anxiety and depression resulting in a months-long disassociative episode that won't go away
> fallen off so bad from school / my grades so suddenly that all my teachers are surprised
> entire friend group fell apart even though we were very tight?? happened so suddenly??
> found this cute guy, talked to him, got his @ and found out he has a gf of 2 years.
> was put on meds for anxiety but the meds ended up making me so ill i missed / flopped an exam then proceeded to get the flu the following day,, its been 3 weeks and i still have a nasty ass cough lol
> guy #2 ghosted me after one message
> guy #3 ghosted me
> noticed by artist I liked who suddenly ghosted mid convo :skull:
> my first therapist dropped me because he thought i was beyond help
> girl i went on a date w/ turned out to be an insane psycho
> second therapist goes on leave for 2 months when i coincidentally need help the most
> anxiety meds don't work on me
> recently come to terms w/ the fact that im fr bisexual and coincidentally my mom has become really outspokenly homophobic (she's never been this bad before, no proof of me being gay to egg her on)
> 18th party earlier this year; got ruined by friends who brought drugs
> drank on my actual 18th birthday party and got so ill that I started hallucinating and couldn't sleep all night lmao wth (it was only some wine??)
> i suddenly developed ana? lost a lot of weight and couldn't bring myself to eat for seemingly no reason other than my mind decided to go freaky for a couple months.
Reckon it's just teenage angst or am i cursed HAHAHA
How do women find the energy to fake compliments to everyone, leave exaggerated replies under all social media posts of their friends, give over the top reactions in chats? If I try doing that even for 1 day, I know I'm gonna wear myself out but some people just been doing this since school up til university or higher, how do they do it???
everyone else seems to having fun but me
I can't find work right now and i am lonely while most people are taking trips around the country or going to europe/jAPAN
Bad Haircut
I've always had long hair as a kid.
It was pretty much the only thing I liked about myself. Strangers would tell me that they liked how pretty my hair is and ask to touch it. I liked touching it and brushing it so it was neat and soft and felt nice to comb my fingers through.
Anyways.
I shaved it all off one day because I had a mental breakdown in high school. I kept thinking the same things over and over and for whatever reason I thought it'd be funny to remove the only thing I liked about myself.
Suddenly people treat you differently. You start perceiving weird thoughts from others that don't feel good. A random stranger comments that it'd be hilarious if you tripped and fell on your face because their mom's luggage was too large for the hallway and it would've rolled you over.
It's growing out slowly so maybe you will be invisible one day.
You wonder why it mattered so much anyways.
So anyways - it's just having a bad haircut. That's the magic trick. Don't obsess anymore.
Vent Thread
Previous thread >>112803
I have no friends
I had this entire week off from uni and I haven't spoken with anyone this week besides my dad. I lost touch with all my old online friends and despite being online 24/7, I've only browsed memes and interacted with nobody. I keep telling myself as a cope that being alone is normal and I should just get comfortable with it but I've been craving a friend so badly :(
I suck really bad at conversations so it's really harder for me to make new friends too
How to not get your heart broken by an emotionally stunted permavirgin
>be me
>dude approaches me in high school
>dude is pretty cool and chill and i enjoyed talking to them
>cool.jpg
>quickly become friends, same-ish humour and music tastes
>friends for about a year
>i get slow ghosted by them one day
>it was one of the most confusing things in the world because i thought we got along well
>they refused to explain why that was
>quickly realize
>they just wanted to befriend me because they didnt get the girl they actually wanted
>the girl they actually wanted was way out of their league anyways
>but the cherry on top was: not only physically, but 500x just as a human being that doesn't fuck and use other people just out of sexual frustration.
this is not an invitation for conversation by the way. honestly this plagued me for years mainly because i wondered why the fuck it bothered me so much. i don't want other women to experience it. i mean, if someone were your friend, why would they ghost you? it was never romantic, it was entirely the fact that someone pretended to like being around you just so they could fuck you quicker because they wanted someone else. in my case, they probably even ghosted once they realized it was never going to happen and got a girlfriend.
in retrospect, they ghost people because they themselves become self aware that they literally approach women (as ""friends"") just to fuck them and treat them like shit. it was extremely deceptive because, outwardly, they seemed like a kind person. i was wrong; they were not a good person, in fact, they were actually a pretty shit person but knew how to hide it, lie, and pretend to be likeable to others. they're not a good person.
how to spot it:
>they refuse to be emotionally intimate. even with friends of the opposite gender, people will be emotionally intimate with one another regardless.
>they lied about random things just to get in peoples pants quicker.
>they had shit morals in general.
the worst part is, even after all this, they continued to push me out of friend groups for this post-ghosting. because they're a cunt and frankly, do not deserve a happy ending.
as said in a previous thread:
be very aware of when someone just wants to use you for sex. cut them off immediately.
RED FLAGS?
I've never dated before and need to know if this guy showed red flags. I would love any insight at all on any of these. I'm going to list some things he did or said in as close to chronological order as possible. But this all happened over the course of 5 months
1. spent years job hopping/bumming and smoking weed bc he wanted to be a rockstar after dropping out of college
2. got hired by his dad after a few years and moved back home(but works hard tbf)
3. generally just came on strong at the beginning, reading my tarot and saying i look like a saint/goddess
4.
5. told his whole family about me and showed them my pictures after the first meet up
6. told me he loved me the first time we met up, cried when i didn't say it back (i did not take this seriously but told him we could keep talking because he was crying)
7. said he was kind of autistic? (don't care)
8. has a cat (petty of me)
9. told me he liked me because i remind him of his mom while we were having a break up convo
10. would forget information i told him
11. would complain about food at restaurants as we were eating
12. didn't like spending money despite saying he wanted to spoil me
13. told me he felt we were going so slow when i felt he was going pretty fast for an online relationship
14. shared his poetry with me
15. had been on 4chan since 13
16. c section baby LMAO
17. Gave me BEARD BURN first date
18. I suspect he has a foot fetish
19. Told me he wanted to come inside me and get me pregnant on ~3rd date while we were making out
20. Had an anime girl boobie mouse pad, showed me during our first facetime ever
21. Never officially asked me to be his girlfriend, but referred to me as his girlfriend
22. told me he tried to masturbate to other things but always eventually ended up thinking about me
green flags
1. said i was more beautiful in real life, and that i was beautiful inside and out and kind and intelligent and too hard on myself
2. paid for everything and planned cool stuff with me
3. super understanding when i didn't want to go further with sex
4. fit
5. made me playlists
6. good kisser
7. got me gifts
8. never doxxed me
9. sang for me
10. grew beard out so he wouldn't give me beard burn again
11. very tall
12. good cuddling
13. super supportive of me, my hobbies, and my career moves
More context for those interested
We met online, talked for a week or two w/out knowing what the other looked like. he sent a picture, i was pleasantly surprised but after a few more i realized he wasn't the MOST handsome and that he hah really stupid tattoos. I sent some and he said i was really pretty, later on sent more and he was like oh you're so beautiful i need you etc etc. i didn't take it for too much because i knew i was just sending good angles. But we would text every day and voice call about once a week, sometimes watching a movie
We would do calls and watch movies online together. he came to visit a friend a month or two later and saw me, spent a day together
Booked another trip just to see me a month later. the trip rolls around, spent a whole day together, took me out to dinner, and just hung out being "normal", he tries to have sex before we leave and when we get back, i say no
next day we do some more stuff and i end up sleeping over and he tried to have sex again but i cant so we don't
too discouraged to go to gym/work out
can any fit/muscular nonas help me? i am a recovered ED patient but i still struggle with working out.
i really like the idea of becoming stronger. i have tried to strength train in the past, but faced three main mental barriers that always lead to me quitting early.
>1.
first and foremost, i find it extremely discouraging because of how much more easily men build muscle. they barely have to do any work and in the first few months will gain strength extremely fast. the first time i started working out, i would go to the gym with my boyfriend on his membership. he blew past me in terms of progress, improving at roughly double my rate, until i was left in the dust. i got gradually more upset and quit.
some time later, i started to go the gym again. this time alone, so i wouldn't have anyone else to compare myself to. i went to planet fitness, so i used the smith machine for bench, squats, and deadlifts. i also used the bicep curl machine, free-weights, bar for deadhangs and pullups, pulleys, and treadmill. but i stil felt like i was improving extremely slowly. i wasn't noticing any benefits to strength training; everyday objects weren't noticeably easier to move/carry and i was unhappier with myself than before. at that point i felt like the psychic damage and time investment of 3-4 days/week wasn't worth it. some days i could run farther without stopping but that's about it. it gave me the impression that as a small woman, i'm simply not made to get stronger or build muscle. which makes me feel pretty sad and inferior.
>2.
like i said, i have a history of eating disorders and i'm about 90% recovered (back at a healthy bmi for years and don't restrict/binge). but when i am supposed to eat a lot of protein and be in a calorie surplus, it still fucks me up. i feel like i can see my body get bigger and am afraid that i'll never be able to lose that weight during the cut. i don't idealize thinness anymore, and would like my body to look more toned, muscular, and stronger. i would feel more proud of a having strong body vs. having my current average office-worker body for the rest of my life.
>3.
many people say that exercise improves your mood, but when i go to the gym i just end up feeling pretty bad. i dread going, i don't like feeling the physical pain from running/lifting, and i am disappointed with my performance. i have never been a fan of physical activity, but i would like to be able to find enjoyment from it because of the mental/physical health benefits.
i'm not really sure how to work past these mental barriers or if i even should. maybe i should just accept i can be healthy without doing a lot of extra physical training. but at the same time i think it would be awesome and cool to be strong and muscular! i think i don't have a strong sense of identity attached to my physical fitness, so i am unsure if i will ever have the motivation to carry through with becoming fit. i always feel like it would be nice to be strong and fit, but when i start trying, i come up with justifications to stop like "i'm not meant to be strong biologically," or "i'm wasting my time because being fit won't really help me at all," or "walking every day and eating healthy is enough." i'm not sure if the justifications are true or not, and it makes me a little disappointed in myself that i don't follow through with my original goal.
maybe if i get some input i can make up my mind. i don't want to ask scrotes because they won't be able to relate to the frustration of improving more slowly, nor society rewarding them for being small and weak. so idk, thoughts, chat?
All I can think is about suicide and killing my parents, I haven’t felt like this in a while
I’m not going to kill them, I can’t stop having dreams about it and I have no energy
My room is cold and no one is expecting me, I live with my abusive parents and my sister whom I had to raise and is in a rebellious phase
I just want to die, I feel horrible all the time I don’t know what to do I don’t want to hang myself in that cold messy bedroom but I don’t know how much time I can get myself alive
Why do i feel deeply wronged by women who stay with disgusting or ugly men?
And how can one be making a mistake for thinking this way? Since they're obviously traitors to the other side and upholding the worst aspects of patriarchy ?
Limerence
Anyone else here struggle with being extremely limerant/obsessed with certain people? I’d like to hear your stories. Rather not tell mine though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
Is my plan stupid?
This is my second year after high school, and I switched majors, so I will no longer be with my former "friends." I panicked when they asked me during the summer because I thought they had forgotten about me, so I lied and told them I’d still be with them. We started officially this week, and I’m considering testing something out. I’m planning on pretending to study with them for at least a week, then I’ll find a time to gather them all in one place and tell them that I’m leaving to see their reaction. I even made a speech where I mention how I first met them and something good they did for me or we did together. But on one hand, I don’t think I’ll ever get a chance like this to see what others see in me, and on the other hand, I’m afraid they’ll take it the wrong way.
Talking to his guy online and he's being such a sweetheart to me and idk if I should feel bad Abt the fact all the pics I show him of me are in heavy makeup and a bit of editing it feels so disingenuous and I told him I would never let him see me without makeup (bc I'm insecure Abt my eyesbags and nasolabial folds at the hag age of 22 like I can't help it I was born with chubby cheeks and anemia) and he says he doesn't care and that I'd still be pretty without makeup but I genuinely don't think so and I'll never ever feel comfortable being make-up -less around men
What Are Your Long-term Goals, Dreams and Aspirations?
Why do we have to protect men from our "depravity" when they subject us to untold amounts ?
Why do they expect women to protect them from their sexuality?
They force us to live with porn, child porn, child sex trafficking, pedophile sex tourism, nonconsensual ai porn, hidden cameras, stolen publicized sex videos that were supposed to be private, trannies and their hypocrisy, rapists, mass murderers, mass rapists, rapists who only get 7 years in prison. child rape victims now being forced to give birth. denied access to abortion, even to save your life. the taliban, the islamofaggotry.
And I'm offensive because i look at yaoi? They're offended i will skip paying attention to old men? I mean is it any surprise? I hate the degenerates in real life and want nothing to do with them. At this point in my life i want fantasy and lifelong separatism so i can feel free and not have to take the chance of being around the overbearing entitled presence of a man. That's it really. It just comes down to not complicating my life further. I really don't know WHY i am supposed to be attracted to them.
But i increasingly find it shocking and bewildering that we put so much effort into protecting degenerates from our sexuality. Like we actually feel any shame at all? Why exactly? Don't they WANT to live in the jungle? Wasn't that their game from the start?
I don't care how much they're ruled by sex. I'd rather live in a room with an aggressive cat. In the grand scheme of things im supposed to pretend they're all potential nice guys why? Who does that benefit and how much do i miss out? I want to mace all men in the face when subjected to the thought i should protect them from my sexuality because it is so ludicrous and outrageous that my sexuality could ever come close to eclipsing their filthmongering.
Picrel is me as the proud depraved lizard i am
I am so sick of men
I am SO sick of men. I'm not particularly a feminist or anything but they can be SO selfish. I have my male friends and some of them I care about deeply, but even they can be REALLY insensitive sometimes and all my guys on the internet have some obsession with making anti-woman "jokes" all the time (usually later I find out they're rarely even jokes, cuz they're usually hiding some obvious bitterness towards women) and they won't stop even though they know it hurts my feelings. They're so disrespectful they can't even not make a 'woman beating' joke when I'm trying to relay a story about how some woman in church was telling me about their experience being abused by their husband for 11 years, they think everything is theirs, for example demanding that they can be misogynistic on my discord, with excuses like 'free speech'even though that makes no sense and I just am trying to create a healthy space for me and my female friends.
They're so damn entitled. Can we have a vent thread on times men have been complete dicks to us?
being a woman sucks
ts not even the fact that were oversexualized. That ive just accepted. Its the fact that a man will almost never ever completely respect you. Because women are supposed to be fucking passive little lambs whos argument doesnt stand a chance against a man. A man will scoff at you if anything you say if he disagrees with, he doesnt even try to understand. He just deems you as silly. And if hes rude to you and your offended, forget about it. Now your an overreactor ruled by your emotions.
Your average moid (including your bf) thinks this is what all women think. But I can't stop lurking on 4chan. Anybody similiarily addicted to rage inducing stuff?
I feel inferior to guys because I’m a girl and weaker than them and I feel inferior to other girls because I’m ugly and socially inept
Women who are "better moids than moids"
Have any nonas felt, as I have, that women can sometimes be "better men than men"? I do not mean this in any way that flatters the masculine, but rather that women echoing masculine energies can add this touch of class to it that's just irresistible.
This thought occurred to me when watching this TikTok video (yes I know TikTok is cringe but just watch it). The woman in the video is obviously impersonating a creepy dangerous moid but, somehow she carries it off better than any moid I've ever met.
The way she carries herself, it's just menacing, without any self-conscious narcissism. Pure desire. I'm a rape victim and if you haven't had it happen to you, rapist moids' raw intention and lust is nowhere near hers,' you can like tell they secretly want you just to impress their friends.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/T1wecXTc_xo?feature=share
I've never had a boyfriend; and it hurts. If men don’t ask you out on dates, does that mean you’re weird? Should women ever approach men?
I don't know what my thoughts and feelings are anymore. I feel like a husk of my former self, just going through the motions. I have people in my life whose significance I can't grasp. I have what would you describe as "friends", who I only see at college, but I can't tell if I genuinely like them or if I'm just afraid of being alone. I struggle to determine whether I like someone or if I actually hate them, and every time I try to figure it out, I get trapped in an endless loop of self-doubt that makes me lose sight of everything.
anyone else struggling with being trans
ftm, im so scared of it and everyday i hope im just making it up, a part of me wants to just suck it up and live my life without transitioning but i feel miserable like this. i shouldve been a normal arab girl whyd i get stuck like this
men are so inconsistent
i'm just so fed up. i feel like a clown, and i keep getting used again and again. my attempts at talking to guys have always gone like this:
>i meet a guy, don't rlly care about him
>he finds out i'm deeply insecure and lonely
>guy starts to lovebomb me and won't leave me alone
>as soon as i'm hooked, "bagged" so to speak, they forget about me
it really makes me feel like i'm just some plaything they entertain themselves with, and as soon as i get boring or they find someone else, they discard me.
i'm sure some of it is my fault too, i'm an awful person with a lot of problems, but the way i get treated makes me feel like i'm not even human. no one sees me, and no one cares that i have needs and emotions too.
i wanna strangle the guy i'm talking to rn
What was your dream wedding and dream marriage proposal?
How do I form relationships with people?
I am a very autistic young woman (18) freshly out of highschool and have been really successiful making friends and dating, but now that school is over I have no idea of how would i make friends out of that ambient or even find a reationship after breaking up with my ex, I don't want to use apps to find new people bout how do normal people find eachother in normal adult life???????
any advice for thir poor 18 yo trying to have a social life???:/
I'm unlovable
How to make friends when you stereotype people?
I would like to make friends to have someone when I go out places (store, mall, out to eat) but as a girl it’s hard to make friends when you’re not an “OMG GIRLIE YOUREE SO PRETTYY” type of person.
I feel like so many girls on my campus are like this. Idk if I’m autistic or what’s wrong with me, but I struggle to act like that.
What's the worst date you've ever been on?
Should I be concerned?
My boyfriend who I'll be moving to soon and I had a conversation. I asked if the money he is going to make is going to be enough, and he said yes. I said it would be better if I work too, and not be a leech plus the money I'd bring in would be nice and he passionately refused insisting I wouldn't need to work.
I'll say that I like the idea of being a stay at home mom and stuff, but being completely financially reliant on him is… restricting?
Is this what people call a red flag?
I have to say that he is a wonderful person whom I woud do anything for and I love him very much but every once in a while I think about this conversation.
i don't think it's requited
hello nonas i kind of need advice kind of just need to vent. about a boy
i've known this boy online for a while and we never really talked privately, but i wa offline then came back a few months ago. he was one of the first ppl i reached out to, mostly to be added back to a gc, but i also sort of had a crush on him and just kept thinking of him after a few months of being single.
we talked n realized we were visiting the same city at the same time, and he thought i was cute too. we met up and then we slept together. it was actually really sweet and we stayed up talking a lot. then he invited me to go to the next city with him. i said yes. we spent like 5 days together there and met his friends together and everything, and were 'acting like a couple' . he even peeled an orange for me around other girls lolol he didn't know the meme though
anyway on the 2nd night in the 2nd city he was a bit drunk but he told me, when we were back in the hotel room, "i think i might love you [after this i kind of short-circuited so the next part is paraphrased], as much as possible for how much i know you". i told him i was n love with him. he said we were "yeah, dating i guess" next morning. i told him i love him again at some point and he told me not to be irresponsible
it's been like 2 months since then and he still is not deciding if he wants to actually date me or not. we are basically as long distance as possible, like i think his city is one of the longest flights from mine, on a global scale, so also different countries. but i really love him i'm so obsessed with him. he's also much smarter and more attractive and successful than i am so he is way out of my league and it is a little intimidating. i have never "dated up" before and i've also never been rejected.
nonas is he leading me on or how do i make him make me his girlfriend
or how i do deal with rejection if it's inevitable lolol
Should I dump my bf?
I met this PhD guy years ago back in college (I'm a dropout now , whatever I still make decent money with my current freelance job). Though didn't really start dating him until recently. We were just kinda "there" in each other's lives for a while. But here’s the thing:
>I have been an ADHD loser all my life.
>I have literally zero friends IRL.
>I spend most of the day in front of a screen
>Hard pass on almost every moid who's tried to hit on me
At first, I was kinda into him, even kissed him a couple of times, but when it comes to sex? I've got the libido of a rock, like… literally zero interest, but I was always like this, I don't know why, I think I might be asexual, although I like the idea of having romance with a man and a good relationship, I don't understand myself. We’ve been together for some time and still haven't done anything. And tbh, the whole relationship's gone cold this year, especially with him constantly traveling and me just… existing all day in my room chatting and my freelance laptop job or doing ADHD-OCD things (worst combination ever).
I think I've caught the ick. At first, I thought he was cool, now he's just cringe. He tries so hard to be this "nice guy" but I just want him to be a little rough if he wants to have sex, because I can't get horny easy, and I like that style where a man is super into you and loses control. Is that too much to ask? But nope, "too violent," he says and thinks I only want this because of truama a coertive abusive relationship I had with a moid once who I've developed stockholm syndrome back in my mid 20s (I also never had sex with him because of distance, thankfully but he managed to make me send him a bit intimate stuff through coertion and emotional blackmail). And I'm not asking to get beat up, just a little passion. Whatever, it’s a turn off.
Casual sex? Disgusting. So no experience there, obviously. Every time he tries to initiate, I shut it down. Every. Single. Time. Plus, I'm converting back to Catholicism, so it's probably better if I stay chaste until marriage anyway, and the chances of marrying him are every day lower. So should I just break up with him already?
easy recipes
i’m hosting dinner for some new girlfriends and i really want to impress them. does anyone have any suggestions for easy recipes? i really like japanese food but i’m not a great cook.
I am stupid. I just don't understand majority of things, I lack critial thinking, argumentation and so on. I can't speak languages well, I can't do math, I don't undestand. I have ADD and writing problems as well dyslexia. I just don't know what I supposed to do with my lack of understanding, knowledge. I have studied language for 4 years and last few months 5+ hours a day. I can barely understand basic texts in it. Anything I try to learn takes 3 to 5 times more time than it takes for normal person. I am frustarated.
aimless, lost...
I am 18 years old and I feel like my life is over. i should be starting university soon, all things going well with my exams but the future is looking very bleak. i dont do anything, i am at home in my room everyday, i have lost all contact with the people i knew, i dont even know what i have become, i dont recognise myself and i can imagine how repulsive and pitiful it is for others reacting to me. i am not even studying like i should be which will just put me in an even worse situation if i continue like this, i already know that it is up to me to change and whining like a fool wont change anything and but im still doing it… is it really all fate is my character made to be like this and these things, is there any way i can bring about tangible change. not to mention my past is irredeemable and a hopeless foundation for my even more hopeless present. i spent half of my day watching prestigious university challenges on youtube so yeah.. that is what has triggered this emotional outburst for me but after looking through some contestants entire lives and social networks i am left sitting with my reality and feeling like an alien but a stupid and weird one. im sure there are many in my situation or something similar or anything, please can anyone reply and talk to me.. /////////////////////
hello nonas yesterday,
yesterday my mother asked to cut my hair a bit since it was growing uneven, it was five fingers below my shoulders and she gave me a bob above my chin
I even tied some hair so I don’t lose length an then just felt it fall
she said she cut it that way so I look girly cause I’m supposed to be a girl (I had a long mullet and that’s manly for her?? idk)
she knew I was trying to get long hair. I rage cut it when stressed and haven’t done so in a year, so it was a reminder I’m doing better
I know it’s stupid but I have cptsd and trying to keep myself alive, so the little achievements like my hair are a big deal to me
I have way bigger problems but I’m also allowed to be upset about things like this I think. I feel stupid
writing here at least makes me feel not unseen even if a lot of times I never get a response
it’s funny
I wish a mother would hug me
Stop hating men rather detach from them and focus on loving and appreciating women. This made me much happier and I think it could work for others.
Why do people genuinely make each other miserable most of the time?
Most of what I saw growing up was gaslighting, being told im crazy, women getting trashed / revenge porned or being cut down for being this or being that. Having their minds fucked over by family, men, other women, and living as fragments of a human being.
So I decided i hated people and society and wanted nothing to do with them. I want nothing to do with what society wants from me as a woman and if you're going to spurn me for it id like to dump acid on your face. I just don't understand why other women go along with it, and pretend to be happy when i know they're genuinely miserable. I see them complain about their expereinces day in day out. Why do they strive to play out that whole farce and pretend and make each other miserable for the sake of a shitty performance when you can just duck out of society and have nothing to do with men or shitty misogynistic women, or any of it??? I always try to understand this. It doesn't matter how you look as a woman you will get trashed, gaslighted, and have your sanity destroyed by somebody.
I really never saw much else growing up. I have to vent because it makes me disgusted and want to stay inside for eternity.
Legit starting to feel gay because of how pathetic men are
Anyone else feel this way? I actually can’t feel attracted to men anymore and feel much more satisfaction out of conversations with other women.
Men to me are like these low effort troglodytes that shy away from any in depth connection
How do I not let what moids say affect me emotionally?
I have stopped browsing various sites like 4chan because of the shit they say about women, especially Western women, it affected me emotionally.
For those with mental illness of any kind, how do you cope with the thought that it is forever? Will there ever be significant relief? I've had chronic, severe depression since I was a teenager, adhd struggles, used to be agoraphobic, still occasionally deal with self harm etc. Things are a lot better now, I'm in therapy, medicated, all that. but I can't stand the thought that I will more than likely have more bad days than good ones, or even "okay" days. Sometimes I'm told that i need to be realistic about it, that people aren't happy 24/7 but I don't think I'm being unreasonable when I say that most people aren't having bad days more often than okay ones. I'm not expecting intense joy at every waking moment, I just want to be content for more than a day. I don't want to be thinking about killing myself or scarring myself up more than I already have all of the time.
>If you’re ‘bad at conversation’ just ask questions
>Autistic women have bad social and communication skills
How do you become good at connecting with others and making friends without treating it like a job interview? What do you do when you don't know what to talk about? If you talk about yourself, it makes you look like a narcissist. If you ask questions, it makes you look like a job interviewer.
I am Pathetic
I am so pathetic it is disgusting to me sometimes. I dont know if I have always been this way, I think I have, but i have such low self esteem, dignity, and worth that I let myself be treated like garbage by everyone I choose to spend my time with. Not only do I stay with someone who refuses to be monogamous, I am realizing that I also voluntarily choose to spend my time with people who I dont even think like me, they just tolerate me, if that. I remember growing up I was so desperate to be liked, i would let people beat me up for fun and sometimes I would be seriously injured or in pain, but i would let them do it until they grew out of it and never told my parents even when they were concerned by my bruises lol. I dont know why make these bad decisions all the way into adulthood. Not wanting advice necessarily, just wanted to get this out.
Self harm addiction general
A place to talk about and vent this particular issue.
I suppose questions to get started (don't feel obligated to answer any of this though, venting is fine too):
>How long have you been self harming?
>What made you start?
>What types of self harm?
>are you trying to quit?
>any effective alternatives/ways to minimize harm?
>why do you self harm?
>how does this effect your daily life?
>any other places you go for support?
>Treatment for old scars/damage?
how should i break up with him?
i started talking to this guy online a few months ago and we hit it off pretty well. i told him from the start that i had no interest in a long distance relationship and he agreed. he came to visit my city and met up with me some time later and it went pretty well, but he told me he loved me and i wasn't ready to say that yet. we kept talking after he went back home, and he visited again two month later soley to see me. we did a bunch of stuff together and it was nice. But i found out he vapes, which he knew I hate and he just never told me. He also cried and begged me to stick with him/not leave him.
I also think we might not be sexually compatible. We made out but I said I wasn't ready to have sex but he kept trying to push me, and I went along with it until I had some kind of panic response when it got serious. He was really nice about it and didn't force me but I'm not sure if I'm downplaying this or not.
The thing I want to tell him is that the distance is too much for me. I've been feeling like shit when he leaves and I never wanted a relationship where I only get bursts of seeing each other instead of something more consistent. But I just don't see a future with him either and I don't know how we're going to work out really getting to know each other like this.
Mostly I'm worried he's going to kill himself if I leave him. He said he was fucked up about his ex for 3 years after she left him. And I mean the same thing happened to me but I''m not guilt tripping him about it… the more I write the more I realize I don't think I would have dated him if we had met irl lol
Can someone just talk some sense into me? Why am I so scared of hurting him? I can't keep dragging this out, but I have no Idea how to dump someone. This situation is so weird
He wants me to learn his language
I met a great guy from Germany over social media. He goes to cosplay conventions once a year and posts pictures of it on Instagram, which is how I discovered him. Most of the time he is posting other stuff like going hiking with his friends, travel videos, food vlogs, etc. He is also on discord and sometimes streams for his friends there. I became active on his discord and his other social media and we soon became friends. When he visited the USA he wanted to meet some of his American friends and also invited me to come. It took some convincing from him, because the thought of being the only girl among a male-only group of strangers really spiked my anxiety, but he convinced me. Many of his friends or followers only came for the convention he was going to, but he was going to be in the USA for an entire week. I stayed with him during his entire time here and we got some moments to ourselves and basically went on dates together. He is very dreamy and he said he likes me, but he said he would only consider a long-term relationship with me, if I learn to speak German well. Do you think that's an unusual request? Have you ever dated a foreigner from outside the USA, who asked you to learn their language? Also what is the best way to learn a language and especially get the pronunciation right as well?
what happens to those who do not believe in fidelity?
I have been in 6 relationships and very strongly feel as though committment will never be on the table for me. This isn't a new feeling, it's something I've believed since about 7 years old. Yeah, I remember being 7 telling my mom that marriage seemed like a shit idea.
For a long time I tried the celibacy thing, but my sex drive is just too high. I recently got out of a relationship that was ""accidentally committed"" i.e., the guy genuinely believed he could change my mind and get me to marry him. After this experience, I'm getting even more casual with my partners and not even considering them my boyfriends anymore. In fact I'm interested in non-monogamy now. Nothing complicated, just having a few friends who don't know each other.
My question is, what happens to people who choose to live this way forever? Does finding partners get significantly harder after a certain age? After about 25 most people seem to pair off and find spouses, but the divorce rate is high so I have that going for me.
A lot of men want to convince me that everyone regrets being non-monogamous, but as we know they are full of shit.
Tl;Dr young person curious what the consequences of my actions will be if I choose to play the field forever.
Anyone else here with no imterests whatsoever? What to do? I wanna read books but give up because i have no attention span. I still collect them though.
no job will make me happy
college is the only thing I enjoy. learning new things and writing about them and applying them and the process of researching and the ever changing schedule and free time and freedom in general is something no job can give me. I genuinely think it's all downhill after I graduate
Does anyone feel too old at 26?
I feel old and I don't have a place anywhere in the world. I'm a loser who hasn't done anything in my life. Am I crazy, or is this a common thing that people feel at this age?
Do most people just want to talk about themselves?
Is love even worth pursuing in this day and age?
I've never been in a relationship, so my perception of reality might not be accurate, but everything I see and hear about the woman experience of being in a relationship is how you're most likely gonna be treated like shit or an object or both.
>inb4 not all moids
Yeah I know that very well, I'm lucky to have guys in my life to have proven that, at least friendship-wise. But everywhere else I look either online or irl, every hetero relationship just outright sucks one way or another. I'm not even looking for a stereotypically attractive guy or 6 figure salary, my only turn offs are obesity and walking skeletons, I'm even lucky to find the average guy to be somewhat attractive. Yet it feels as if it doesn't matter because said average guys don't even want to cuddle anymore and just laugh at you for suggesting as much. Doesn't even feel worth it to look for a guy that does the bare minimum, isn't a manchild and doesn't treat me like shit because it looks like it's as rare and lucky as winning the jackpot. It doesn't look worth it to go through all the emotional pain or stress of jumping through unsuccessful relationships just to find someone that's not a subhuman, because I might not be lucky enough to experience it. I'm jealous of all the women that were able to find genuinely nice and decent guys.
Broke my no self harm streak today
Of course because of a moid. Nonas, I feel so alone
My mom admitted I'm a disappointment
Yesterday I was venting to my mom and she got upset. I admitted to cry every day at college. She said I knew that I cried when I attempted to attend last year, and that I also cried my way through high-school, and so why did I ever think it would be different this time? Then I said I had to force myself to attend because I'm already 21, I took two whole gap years, and I was running out of time to make a living before she kicks me out, she got even more upset and told me not to be ridiculous. Then I kept crying and crying, harder and harder, and she told me to stop forcing myself to cry, believing it was an act to manipulate her. I said I was so tired and just couldn't do it anymore, and she said it was hard for her to have me as a daughter becuase she doesn't know what went wrong with me and it's so frustrating to put so much money and effort into someone who just can't be happy no matter what. She asked me what I needed to be happy, and I said I couldn't and it wasn't anyone's fault.
She never admitted until this point that I disappointed her and made her upset, but I knew it deep down. It's okay, don't blame her, I'm a piece of shit and it's a miracle she and everyone else put up with me for so long.
>I self-harm and have an eating disorder. I harm myself without caring how this would hurt others emotionally or financially.
>I enroll and drop out of college compulsively. I also do this with therapy and other activities.
>I either don't take my psychiatric medication or abuse it. I've overdosed many times.
>I am rude to my family. I get upset when they try to talk to me and only reach out when I want money.
>I've never worked nor attempted to. I also don't do chores, not a single one, ever. I barely clean my room.
>I'm a shotafag and would rather draw and write fanfiction about fictional middle schoolers than do anything useful ever.
>I don't bring any happiness to anyone ever. I'm a bad and irresponsible daughter, friend, and lover.
>I'm terrible and taking criticism, following instructions, or being patient. I'm a woman-child through and through.
>I spent my formative years on 4chan and other shitholes. I am no different than a disgusting male in some regards.
Honestly, I should kill myself before final's week. I was thinking of drugging myself at the train tracks and get smashed while I sleep. I'm too much of a coward for anything else. I know my family will be sad but that will pass when they realize I was no more than a waste of space, if they don't believe that already.
Being a gay woman is so frustrating. I finally gave up and made a profile on a dating app and almost every woman I'm seeing has either dated one of my friends, or is trying to arrange threesomes for their boyfriend. I live in a big city too, I can't imagine how impossible it is for a small town lez
if you could read the messages (their main means of communication) between your s/o and their ex, what would you look for?
How do you handle friend or relationships, regardless of gender, where you are the one asking questions, making an effort, talking about them and their life/problems but they don't want to talk about your life, remembering birthdays, being supportive, talking about their hobbies/interests (they don't care about yours), celebrating their successes (again, they don't care about yours), listening to their venting and being empathetic, reaching out, etc but they don't do it for you? The moment you stop making an effort, then everything stops.
Am I just unlucky with toxic one-sided relationships or is it normal for people to just always want to talk about themselves?
browsing this website in public hoping that someone says
> hei you also on this website let's be friends
surelly this will happen
i am at the karlsruhe institute for technology chemistry building in front on the libary if someone wants to hang out
i'm seriously considering dropping out of university and moving back to my hometown. my first year in uni was the loneliest time of my life i didn't make a single friend or talk to anybody after the first week which ultimately led me to trying to hang myself last may and i'm scared it's going to happen again if i go back to uni at the end of this month. i've been doing better over the summer because i've been working as a cashier/dishwasher at a restaurant in my hometown and idk but here i actually feel like my existence matters. like the work that i do actually some kind of purpose and use to other people (taking people's orders and washing their dishes so they can eat). compared to this studying (especially my field which is meme humanities) feels so useless and meaningless. also there's a man at my work who is maybe 8-10 years older than me and i have a crush on him but that's not that relevant. and i don't feel so lonely here bc i see my co workers on a daily basis and most of them are nice to me. my job is ending in a week and then i'm supposed to go back to uni but i feel surprisingly sad/melancholic about it. i haven't been able to enjoy my hobbies for a week or so and when i get home from work i don't feel like doing anything i just lay in bed listening to music. i wish i could stay here. but idk if i'd regret dropping out in the future bc if i eventually do graduate and get a job in my field the pay would be better than the minimum wage i'm currently earning. and who knows things might get better in my 2nd year of uni if i start actively looking for friends or something. but i do feel surprisingly sad about leaving this job. i've also considered taking a gap year and re-thinking what i want to study bc i don't really care that much about my current major. just wanted to vent sorry for the messy post.
struggling to have lasting friends
I know being an adult kind of sucks in general for lonely autistic women, but I didn't realise that it was this bad
It feels like everyone found their group when they were in primary school or high school and isn't really open to making new friends as an adult
I was bullied my entire childhood and adolescence and only had a couple of friends irl and online who disappeared once we reached adulthood.
Whenever I went to university I put a lot of effort into being social and made many acquaintances, despite investing a lot of time into people. I went from a person who struggled to make a phone call to someone who could approach strangers in a pub. I considered myself as having good relationships with my housemates but as soon as they graduated and moved they stopped putting in any effort or messaging me.
Now, I only have one friend, who is planning on traveling and I probably won't see again for years.
It genuinely feels like anyone I come across has an online gaming group they've had since they were 12, school friends, or a tight knit family.
I don't have any relatives, my family abused me throughout childhood, and I don't plan on having kids. Have been working part time ever since I started university years ago in an office environment and it was extremely uptight and obvious that I was an outsider due to being autistic and having more weird hobbies like anime and games, even though I put a lot of effort into masking.
I live in the UK so there are pretty much 0 nerd hobby related groups post uni unless you're into Warhammer, every activity I see for working adults is intense sports or things for parents with young kids.
I'm extremely lonely and know it's only going to get worse as I get older. I just want other female friends. Finding online groups to join that aren't fully of edgy teenagers, perverted moids, or uptight Reddit mod type people seems like an impossible task.
When I was younger fandom type spaces were like a sanctuary for me but now these communities are full of grandstanding uptight twitter personalities rather than how it used to be back in the live journal and early Tumblr days. Anything that's like how old communities were where people just enjoyed writing fanfic and drawing without all of this discourse shit would be like a dream come true for me rn.
It's not that I haven't put in effort, it just seems hard to find anywhere to meet people who share similar interests and are chill.
explain the shift
So I have this thing. When I moved abroad I don’t remember once missing my family. My roommate is my best friend and yet I can go a week without wanting to hang out. Now I quit weed and have to process the absolute emotional circus that is my period without any crutches. I miss my roommate and I miss my family. The weirdest thing is I stopped missing a guy I’ve been obsessed with for over a year. How do you explain this? The change is very welcome and I’d like to keep it that way, since I tend to get aloof when it comes to the people closest to me (which leads to interpersonal conflict and drama) and weirdly get stuck on people I don’t even know. This random shift happened in just one day
How do you get by with male old bosses borderline harassing you?
I’m working at McDonald’s rn and male bosses just make me want to quit. I feel disgusting when I have to work and they’re there.
This one guy always tries to be alone with me, tries to greet me kissing my hand and touching my arms, always stares at me. The weirdo even made me kneel to the height of his crotch to pick something up and we wouldn’t move on purpose even yelling me to pick the thing up and still not moving
Its also of no help that I’m the only “petite asian teenager” while other workers are older women with families
i'm in a really shit situation at the minute. i'm 18 years old and i haven't applied to any universities intending to save up money, get a job, figure out what uni course i want to do and move out safely from my shitty muslim family. now i'm unable to do that because despite my mum's approval earlier in the year, she's not letting me take a gap year and now i'm being forced to go to university in september when i have zero clue of what to even do for my future and of course, my plans to move out have been squashed. i'm literally being forced to pick any random course and my mum's reasoning for this is because one, she doesn't want me to laze out the whole year, she thinks gap years are embarrassing, and three because her housing benefits (welfare) will be reduced. i told her i was willing to make up for the deductions as i have a job interview on friday but she's not listening and she's still firm on me going to university. i'm aware i sound whiny as shit but i'm really not ready for university at all. my whole teen years have been tainted by bulimia, depression and OCD and i don't know what the fuck i even want to do in life despite being a high achiever. even if i were to figure what i wanted to do, my mental health is so shit atm going on a gap year would've done wonders for me. if i even start uni my grades will be shit and i was hoping university would be the place where i would be able to free myself from my shitty overbearing mother but yeah, doesn't seem to be the case anymore. it's all this pressure and rushing and control from my mother that's making me feel suffocated and garbage. i've been stressing non stop about this for weeks. i just want to run away from my problems but i know that's a bad idea because i'm broke, currently have no jobs and no friends willing to house me. i don't know what to do anymore. i'm in the UK btw if that's relevant
i hate that i can't comfort people. someone that i've been taking to for a while has been spiraling, and things have been getting much worse lately. he struggles with alcoholism and doesn't have many other friends. he tells me about his problems but i dont know what to say. i care and want to listen but all i can do is say "im sorry" and tell him about similar things that have happened to me. anyone else struggle with this or know how to get better?
trichotillomania
not sure if I should post this here or in hb, but does anyone else suffer from trichotillomania? if so,
>when did you start?
>why did you start?
>have you ever been able to find coping skills to not do it anymore?
>have there been any moments that people looked at you funny because of it?
>have you ever had bald spots?
>what's the longest you've gone without pulling?
PTSD n' cPTSD friends
How are you holding up at the moment? And which are your methods to cope?
Please give me some advice.
TL;DR: crying not being able to cope, alone
I'm not going to mention anything directly, but probably my wording will be quite "heavy" for thoughts, still trigger warning, emotional venting.
Is tiring having to remember everything over and over again, even if I'm distracting myself, washing dishes, showering, doing exercise, talking with someone, a song, etc etc it reminds me anything. Its hard, so hard to focus or do something relaxed while having this "echoed" images getting in my head and can't stop them.
I'm afraid to go to therapy since whenever I go, I end up worse than before, since I have no one to hug or get comfort after a heavy session (I live alone and by myself, years alone), not having support other than internet friends just hurts to the core, deep inside wishing for a hug IRL. Human physical interaction is something that you crave even more if you don't take a step outside, and unfortunately since working remote doesn't give you the courage to keep going out or eating healthy, is hard to keep a decent lifestyle, even more when you're diagnosed with so many things.
Always thought I'd grow out of it, but is still there, all the scenes, all the shame coming over and over for things I just "didn't know" back then, so many things and not being capable to do anything.
Feelings aren't that heavy anymore since I'm medicated, but it doesn't help the thoughts, even more since I'm the loneliest person I know, no family, no friends, just my pets and myself.
Everyday feels the same, holidays, weekends, looking at at the calendar just to realize that'd been months, weeks while I felt it was yesterday that I did X thing… Sleep, wake-up, eat, work, eat, work and go to sleep, same ol' story everyday.Sleep, wake-up, eat, work, eat, work and go to sleep, same ol' story everyday, being "functional", even if its just that is exhausting.
Unique thing that makes things fun is daydreaming and talking to myself.
I'm not suicidal, I don't want to do anything bad, I'd never ever done self-harm, I "love" (somehow) myself enough to keep living, but man, is so tiring, so tiring having to live with shame and hopelessness knowing that life is like this, sometimes wondering why I should buy a house or an apartment if I'm going to die eventually with no one around to even receive it, goals make no sense, feeling off inside but not having the "passion" enough to think about ending it either, perhaps I'm just a coward.
With the worst coping mechanism that is eating, eating anything, not feeling full at all, barely moving, just siting all day in my room, the thought of going outside knowing is just me walking while having these thoughts, is boring, wanting to lose weight to be healthy but kinda thinking its "pointless" at the same time.
Sincerely thinking about it, binging probably will end this faster, so feeling pleasure while knowing makes it ok.
I don't want a boyfriend or a husband, I don't feel the need, I'm not sexually attracted to anything, I don't want to be attractive to anyone, I don't want that attention but sometimes feeling that it'd be easier to make friends if I were "prettier", fighting against the thoughts of "I should be feminine" against the "way I think is clearly something else", not fitting, feeling out of place, dissociated and not being able to comprehend things, I can't run away from things that make me sad, like family talking, happy things, childhood memories and hobbies, human things, normal things. I tried so many things all these years and somehow end up with nothing, how many times I have to try to change something? I can't accept this loneliness sometimes, it feels so unfair.
Not being able to share these things, people can't handle things bigger than their own problems, they just look at you with pity in their eyes.
Is not the same feeling alone than actually knowing that you are truly alone, the only thoughts about suicide this year were a few but, all of them end up in people finding out I did due to the rotten smell coming from the apartment, no one checking, no calls or anything.
There are times where I miss the abuse, the only thing that kept me feeling alive was hoping for a future where everything was ok, and now that everything is ok, it just doesn't feel right at all, no more flight/fight response, just me dealing with the shit others did on me, fawning for protection or love, just to be this lonely.
Is not easy, it isn't easy at all but I'll keep going, after all there's nothing else I can do other than this.
Numb enough to not being able to cry at all, I miss feeling that chest pain that comes when you're super sad or depressed.
I am tired of life.
Sometimes, I wish I had the courage to just “do it”.
But I’m entering my late 20s and dealing with family enmeshment with seemingly no way out of it.
Imagine being told what you should and shouldn’t do at my age? Even something as innocuous as starting a hobby is discouraged in my household.
But even if I got the chance to paint— would I even do it? Despite dreaming of being a consistent painter, the small chances I do get are wasted through endless scrolling of “how to do so and so”. I’m not motivated to do ANYTHING— even the stuff that I’ve been dreaming of since childhood.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to begin to change.
Sure, I’m in college and working on a driver's license. But the degree stresses me out immensely and once I drive it’ll only be to drop my siblings off here and there as I don’t own the car and can’t just do whatever.
RETARDED RANT WARNING i feel like i am never feminine enough
I never had a strong female presence in my life, and was a tomboy and was criticized for it. didn't help that i was a misogynist and a misandrist and a pick-me but whatever. around the time i turned 18/19 i started exploring more feminine wear and now wear dresses and skirts much more exclusively (before i would just wear 3 pairs of pants that could fit my body, but other than that pants were super uncomfortable and overwhelming)
The way I dress now is a complete 180, everything i wear makes me suuuper comfortable and safe i wear natural materials, never buy anything new and i love clashing patterns and colors and wearing long socks 24/7
i still get really concerned that I am not feminine though, like I still sound brash in the way i speak but i can also switch to sounding soft
i just cant handle the more complicated parts of me
I have a very loving boyfriend who accepts all of me, but i tend to discredit him when he says I am a full person and a woman I just feel like maybe he is stupid but i know that i am the one that is retarded more than anything
and i have this idea that someone who is feminine wears makeup and talks a certain way about her passions and goals but i cant even do most of that, i cant even wear makeup without having a meltdown and i just feel like i am constantly trying to force myself into a little idea of what being a woman is instead of just being a person.
i used to look a lot of girls around me growing up and try to imitate their mannerisms and as i got older i watched feminity channels, ones that show you how to have manners and act and also weird hypergamy stuff that i could never really understand i dont understand all of this weird social bs and i dont understand the weird rules and structure that came from dating or courting or whatever as for my own relationship my bf is the most sane and healthiest person i have ever been around i wouldve been fine being alone in fact i most likely wouldve enlisted or became a nun or just lived alone idk but with him i can actually imagine being a mom and i have gained a lot of insight in to who i am and how I can improve, I seriously sometimes dont understand why he would choose to be with someone like me still but at the very least i respect his decisions
for a very long time i feel like the way how i try to understand being a woman feels like im a trans woman, i just dont know how to be a woman i dont know i have a very broken sense of self and i am still figuring out so much bash me all you want i just wanted to let this out im sorry if this post doesnt make any sense, alot of things about me dont
I've been dating for three years. Today I was talking normally to my boyfriend on a phone call, and after 10 minutes of normal conversations he simply said he wanted to break up, with the justification that when we broke up two years ago, I acted like I was single. He talked about the parties and clubs I went to and the hoe friends I had at the time. I thought it was a joke, because it was literally two years ago, and during the period we broke up he partied a lot and went out with several girls he met on Tinder. But he wasn't kidding. It really seems to me that he just invented a reason to break up, as if he was cheating on me or was going to cheat on me. What should I think?
Adult Children of Alcoholics
Any other adult children of alcoholics here? I would love to commiserate. I feel like I can find a way to ruin everything for myself.
>how has being the child of an alcoholic affected you?
>how do you deal with self-isolating and/or approval seeking behaviors?
>how has it affected your intimate relationships (platonic and romantic)?
>do you resonate with any of the aspects of the laundry list? how so?
>have you ever been to an ACoA meeting?
>how (if at all) have you been trying to better your life?
>do you drink/do drugs? how does this affect you?
>do you ever feel like you’re turning into your alcoholic or co-alcoholic parent?
>how do you deal with the need for control/hyper vigilance/lack of self worth/difficulty in interpersonal relationships/any symptom of a dysfunctional childhood? What makes it better? What have been the consequences of it?
Does Anybody Else Have a High Sex Drive After Work?
Warning: Sexual Discussion.
I work as a cashier and I see a lot of people. They can be pretty rude to me sometimes. When I get SUPER bored I have a lot of fantasies. A lot of them are pretty aggressive, biting and chocking, you know. But yeah standing around for a bunch of hours just makes me feel so pent up. And it’s not even like I have a partner to help me with it (lmao why would somebody with a partner even be on this site??)
God it’s even worse because there’s this cute coworker I have. He’s got that Jack Quaid prey animal guy energy. And I have to just play it cool, and try to slowly get close to him(icebreaker questions, small talk, you know the drill)
So yeah does anybody else feel aggressive and horny at the end of the shift? Or am I just a little fuck up?
Consequences of actions
So when I was 19 this old man raped me and purposefully gave me a lifelong sti. It’s called ‘gift-giving’ and the most fcked up thing I’ve come across. This man David happens to be a Singaporean billionaire I believe in the hotel business with his sister. What makes this even more sketchy is the fact that he goes by two names I think. Peter and David? Nothing about him on the web. 1 photo. His friend was there and he was staying at the como hotel so pretty sure he’s got something to do with that. Now I’m 27 now and I want fckin justice. It’s actually more than just the rape and sexual assault. It’s the fact that these ultra-wealthy people think that they can just do as they please?! I just messaged him and he is saying that he’s going to sue me for defamation of character lol like I have nothing to sue. He also got off on the fact that I was covered in self harm scars and the fact that my father had raped me whilst growing up. Are men just not the most repulsive species?! I just honestly want no one coming near me ever again I think they are fucking vile the lot of them. Also I can’t be the only girl that this has happened to. He showed me all these girls he was talking to on his phone. I just hate men I can’t explain how vile I find them. So I’m going to report him to the Singapore police department because honestly I’ve had enough of men thinking they can do as they please with no fking consequences. I’m not from Singapore btw I’m from the uk but going to file a report online. These ultra-wealthy people think that they are untouchable it’s a joke. Probs got a whole legal team but I don’t give a shit like bring it bitch
How do I make a best friend from scratch? I ruined things with my last one, but now I'm trying to improve I feel lonely. It seems everyone already has a best friend
i am obsessed with my bf, just looking at him brings very much joy. but here is the issue, i am very depending on him, cant do much on my own and my mood changes based on his mood. im clingy, overly hugging/kissing. idk i just fear that he losses intrest in me and thrn im alone. he is my first kiss and sex so it would be very damaging mentally if he left or so. he swears he doesn't but still i think of this. since we statted dating we have spend almost 24/7 with each others.
Nonas, I need to change things. My room's a mess, I got fired from my cafe job, I haven't been to the gym in weeks, I didn't register for classes this semester bc I'm broke, and I don't really see my friends anymore. I started drinking again and I've been boredom eating. And even though I'm always on my damn phone, I'm terrible at texting people back. I'm ghosting my therapist. I feel like everything really went downhill for me after I got dumped in June (he was with me just long enough to take my virginity, which was pretty unpleasant, and I was dumb enough to fall in love with him before he switched up). I feel like I don't have much of an identity right now and I always feel and look out of place. I know I can change all these things. I can clean my room, find a new job, get back in the gym and get my diet in order, stop drinking… I know I can fix This but I'll have to do it in stages. Any advice on getting out of the funk is welcome <3
I stopped taking my meds
Was just doing my usual Saturday night routine (reflecting on all my past relationships, wondering why I feel so disconnected from other people and praying for some kind of breakthrough) and I finally got somewhere. I think I’m crazy. I think I’m delusional, and not “girlie in her dululu era” delusional but “I can’t tell imagination from reality” delusional. I think I’m the problem. And that really, really, really, really sucks
I have so much love to give. Now I’m beginning to see why nobody ever wanted it. I wish I was a man. Nobody likes a crazy woman. Even other women despise crazy women, while crazy men are somewhat revered. I just want to be loved
How are you?
Everything will be ok.
not looking for advice just want to vent
im a mid 20s woman with a lot of weird health problems that make it difficult for me to work full time and survive fully independently
have no living family left or soft place to land, moved to a new country for university years ago, tried very hard to improve my situation.
Been with the same guy for over 5 years, over time it's gotten progressively worse. bf knows I have nowhere else to go and holds this fact over my head, said before no one else would put up with me, clearly resentful and hates that I'm disabled/not improving health and energy wise
His family hates me for being autistic and views me as a burden. at times he can be very caring and the rest is very toxic, he has very online views and is obsessed with the concept of "emasculation" and incel ideas about sex.
about a year ago i had a very traumatic abdominal surgery due to potentially cancerous tumors in my reproductive organs, affected my libido. How I was treated and yelled at afterwards for needing care and 'complaining' also made me lose a lot of sexual attraction. I almost lost both ovaries from the procedure and have scar tissue.
even if i will do sexual acts for him, it's never enough because I'm not a perpetually horny coomer like he is and I can't really do much PIV sex now without pain. I do care about him but to men like this unless you're head over heels horny you don't love anyone.
I'm completely miserable and everyone views me as a terrible person for not leaving when i have nowhere else to go and currently can not work enough hours to live alone or stay in my country where everything i know is. friends won't help me.
i have a history of sexual abuse from a young age, my family was also verbally and physically abusive. it feels like my entire life i will just be a sex object for men and when i stop being useful sexually I'm the scum of the earth, "using" a man, and secretly want to fuck chads or whatever.
Eventually i will probably rope
is anyone else dreadfully, painfully lonely?
i am almost 23 years old and i have never had a friend, ever. i have never been to anyone's house, hung out with anyone, or been invited anywhere at all. i live in a small town in a rural area - there's nowhere for me to meet people.
i haven't even had a female friend online.
i am not in college (maybe someday), but i do work full time. my coworkers are all 30+ and although we get along, we'll never be friends. i never talk to them outside of work, and they have no interest in doing so.
it is very likely that i was diagnosed with autism as a child
my cynicism is of no help, either. even the smallest things can make me dislike someone. i dislike excessive use of social media, drinking, drug use, smoking, porn, tattoos, revealing clothing, transgenderism, etc… i just want someone that isn't corrupted or evil or something like that. i just want to be friends with a girl that's nice. i fantasize about having the perfect friend and i get so sad i cry about it.
i often think about how beautiful it would be to have a friend. we could talk every day, wear pretty dresses together, hug each other, talk on the phone, eat cake together. we would share music, movies, and art and cute pictures. we'd love each other like sisters. our children would grow up together. we'd be friends til death!
i am so lonely and so tired of it.
I miss my dad
my dad died about 10 years ago. I'm 27 now and just found one of his old books while moving. I miss him a lot fuck my mom.
Traumatic Experiences
What was the most traumatic experience of your childhood (before 20)? I'd say mine was losing my house and a lot of my belongings in a fire.
When did you miss your chance?
When I was in my early teens, I lived down the street from a cute guy. Very tall, skinny, feminine face- not even close to conventionally attractive but my god, I loved him.
I found out he lived close to me after getting put in the PHP program for wanting to die because my home life was tragic at best. PHP was a program where you only did half days at school, and the other half you were at a hospital program for teens. I nearly shit myself when I walked in and found out he was already in that program. I thought he was just out sick.
He made a joke about not being surprised to see me there. It made me feel better somehow. I learned he lived 3 streets down from me (!!!). I never knew that, I hated the bus, because one girl kept throwing my manga out the window and dumping water and perfume on me. Spoiler alert, she bullied me for liking anime, and now she’s a porn star who got “famous” for her cosplay porn. Such is life. I ended up just taking a shit ton of tramadol and ambien in 7th period most days so I could tolerate the extremely long walk home and forget most of it because I’m lazy as fuck and the idea of exerting energy makes me want to sleep.
We started hanging out occasionally. We hung out even more frequently the summer before school started. I had never, ever felt that kind of attraction to anyone, and I still haven’t to this day. His dad was a mean son of a bitch, but was less mean when I was there for posterity. My dad never noticed I was gone so I was allowed to be anywhere, anytime. So, I would go over to his house often and he and I would sit in the backyard, shoulder to shoulder, and we would just talk and talk about anything and everything and he would show me funny YouTube videos on his phone. I mean, full shoulder to arm contact. His weight on mine. TMI but I would get really wet when he did that and always had to change my underwear when I got home, it was completely subconscious.
This went on for a while until the next school year started andI got expelled. Small town, pretty sure his dad found out, most people did. It was for sharing pills. It was really stupid on my behalf. No cell phone and dad often used the internet money for vodka so, rarely did I have contact means outside of being face to face. I would knock on his door occasionally but there would either be no answer or his dad would say he’s grounded. Again, his dad was an abusive bastard, just like mine.
Years later and I get the urge to check up on him and now he’s single. Got married, had a kid, got divorced. Ex wife seems like a shitty person and I don’t say that just because I miss him, she really just seems like an asshole.
I realize now had I said something there’s a small chance we could have been a thing but I was too shy, self conscious, scared, I’m a solid and effortless 4 at best, I had no self worth and I lived with a puritanical sex pest porn addict for a father who called me a whore any time I mentioned I had a male friend so I had that emotional barrier on top of it. There was zero chance I would ever ask, and I think he felt the same. Just low worth. Fuck, man. That could have been me, but now I’m just closing in on 30 having made no real meaningful connections in life.
I've been visibly ill my whole life and have enormous self-esteem issues from all the bullying and even the benevolent othering from well-meaning people. Never had a successful long-term relationship, anything above an entry-level job (which I also periodically get fired from and have to start anew whenever my health issues flare up), my life has been so limited even down to avoiding a lot of experiences because they could impact my health (or just using that as an excuse not to have to risk stepping out of my comfort zone). I'm in my mid 30s now and have just been put on an innovative treatment that could make all of my physical issues disappear. It's been 2 weeks and I already look and feel like a new person and a lot of my previous limitations have improved massively. I'm faced with the endless potential of living my own self-possessed life now, but at the same time I'm feeling so many conflicting feelings about how I couldn't start sooner when I was young, and that I have so much baggage that won't go away as easily as my physical symptoms. I'm falling for someone who also wants to be with me, and am really struggling with all the opportunities they're offering me (wanting to travel together and introducing me to their friend circle and showing me off as if I'm a normal woman) when I've been shut-in and avoiding any challenges for most of my life. It's such a weird phase in my life that I'm in right now and it's overwhelming. I'm rotten from living online and massive social paranoia and this feels like my first and last chance all at once.
At what age did you realize you were better off alone?
At what age did you understand there was no point trying to date spermbrained sloths and you'd be happier unmarried?
How do you deal with people liek this?
Has anyone experienced the kind of personality thats vague and one-sided? Like a family member or relation that seems like they're manipulating things in life to make you/sibling/ friend feel shitty or confused? Who you never get to really know because they only show a fraction of themselves? Even though you try hard to know them? Eventually it seems like they always get into gaslighting or mindgames like its necessary to their wellbing. If you call them out for bullshittery they'll profess to be the most genuine down to earth. Even if you're laid back and honest and just dngaf? Seriously help me understand, what are they so fixated on?
They will defend how real they are until their blue in the face if you call them out for obvious bullshit and carry on like nothing happend… And still consistently hide what they're thinking and real conversations. People like this just creep me the f out and i never know what to do with them.
What is their deal? I mean REALLY, what do these people want from you?
What's it called when the more a person is genuinely kind to you the more uncomfortable and distant you become?
Am I too old?
Currently in my early twenties and a currently in a program for my career. Feeling old and insecure about it because I am roughly 4 years older than my peers. I’m not understanding anything in the program. I’ve tried to be more social with them but I don’t know how to connect with them as I think it’s the age gap maybe but I’m feeling kinda insecure. Should I quit the program? I don’t feel like doing this anymore. Maybe I can find a different program?
Is it normal for friendships to come and go?
Why do other females make me do gay shit? Or think im gay and hit on me in the creepiest ways?
I was getting food from a busy place down by the beach and you can dine in or take out but most people do takeout since its by the beach. So me and my sister to in to the order food, i didnt wanna go first before her because i have severe social anxiety and plus i just got off a 2 week drinking bender(alcohol) so withdrawals were happening (shakey hands)
So my sister makes me go first and the lady helping us is a mid 20s white girl with a slav accent, i dont think she is gay but what she made me do was gay.
I order my food, and then as shes giving me my change and cash back and a small slip with my order # (i am Canadian) she extends her hand out like to make me grab her hand and touch it and grab my cash and change and receipt, like i basically had to caress her hands to get my money and change and stuff back.
Majority of cashiere here either give u the change in your hands without touching you… or leave it on the counter for you to retrieve.
I was already nervous when i got in but i was scared to touch her hands plus i got the alcohol shakes so she probably thought i was gay and nervous trying to get my cash from her
I didnt make eye contact with her at all throughout any of this, i crumpled up the cash i retrieved from her hands quickly and ran outside to wait for my food while my older sister ordered
why am i a monster?
i have a habit of going online and trying to identify anons based on the posts they make. ive also stalked random people from discord servers and logged basically any info i could from them, ive hacked into people's personal accounts through password breaches and phishing links, larped as other people to get close to them, and have even gone so far as to stalk their friends and family.
i take whatever information i can get from them, their insecurities, their personal trauma, and i go on any possible platform i can reach them with and humiliate them with that information. i actively enjoy distressing others, causing them mental grief and poisoning their mental health.
why am i a monster, psychologically speaking? what can be done to get rid of people like me?
my brother keeps holding me back
minor vent but gosh to any potential future parents here please don’t have a kid and then decide to have another one like 8+ years later, im the second parent and it’s so fucking annoying. im 18, my brother is 7 and i’m so tired of having to keep myself from doing what i wanna do jjst because i have to watch my brother and respect his wishes of him not wanting to go to a babysitter or his math tutor. i wanted to go jog today, so ideally i’d drop my brother off at his tutor who lives in the same building as me so i can just go fucking jog and have peace but he hates her and doesn’t wanna go, guys please please don’t have kids with huge fucking age gaps you’ll ruin the oldest sibling’s life. doesn’t help that he can’t stay calm for shit either
Home is a mess since I left
I graduated highschool back in June. I didnt really have any plans for higher education. I considered starting as a patient care tech, but realized I would be terrible at it.
I didnt want to do anything.
I mostly bummed around for a month and applied to a few places, with pretty much no success.
My parents were really pissed and my dad ended up telling me that if I wouldnt go to school, I would have to pay him rent to continue living there.
Aside from that, home had been stressful most of my childhood with a lot of fighting and turbulence. It was still a stressful place to live with a lot of tension and fights between everyone.
It really pissed me off when my dad did this, because i did not want to live there (ive been fantasizing about moving out since I was a young child) and the only reason I hadnt left was because I didnt want to upset my parents by leaving. I had discussed at length moving in with my LDR bf of 2.5 years many times in the past, but I decided not to because I was worried about hurting my parents.
So hearing my dad tell me I had to start paying to live somewhere I didnt want to or need to be in the first place finally pushed me over the edge I guess. It wasnt just my dad, my mom and my 13 yo brother both told me to get out at some point, albeit usually said in anger but still.
So I packed my shit in trash bags, and a month ago I left, moved halfway across the country. I left without telling anyone until it was time to go, and its a long story but there was a lot of screaming and drama that still makes me sick to remember. I didnt tell anyone because I knew they wouldnt approve and I couldnt cope with the fighting until I absolutely had to, but I guess that just made it all worse for everyone.
The past month of my life has been one of the happiest times of my life. Ive enjoyed being with my boyfriend, I have enjoyed the peace and independence, I have enjoyed living in my own quiet space. Its a pretty comfy life, we dont live lavishly or anything, but we make all our bills and he makes enough so I only have to work part time (though I am still looking for full time positions).
I feel so lucky and spoiled with him.
When I left my family was really shocked and worried thinking my LDR bf was going to hurt me etc. and my mom was upset the most amd kept begging me to come back. She and my grandma visited my new place about 2 weeks after I moved. My grandma ended up loving my bf and being happy for me. My mom asked if I wanted to come back with them. I said no and that I was happy. She said she can tell I am happier amd feels bad home made me so miserable.
I felt bad when she said that because I feel like its unfair to blame my family so much when maybe I just needed breathing room. And I was also part of the problem, and contributed to all the toxicity and misery there.
Plus I wasnt really miserable, just stressed I guess.
Well I talk to my mom every day and have heard its been hard at home with fights and stuff, and my moms own mental illness has been taking a toll on her.
I am now visiting home for a week. I didnt want to go mostly because I was gonna miss my bf, but I also wanted to see my family who I left on bad terms and in that sense I was looking forward to it. My mom and 5 year old sister were excited to see me, and I spent most of the day taking my little sister to places, to the park, on errands, to our grandparents, to get toys etc.
Other than that, my brother refuses to talk to me, look at me, or acknowledge my existence for the most part. My dad has been nice I guess. I think he gets why I left now, maybe. He asked "hows (the state I moved)"
"better than here"
"ill bet."
The issue came up of where I would sleep, and I ended up saying I would just stay with my grandparents so I could sleep more (I had been up 30 hours at that point) without noise and my sister took my old bed anyway. My mom lost her shit and started blaming my dad for pressing the issue of where I would sleep, and a screaming match ensued (not the first one since I had been home). My dad informed me shed been like that for weeks, blaming everyone for driving me away and screaming and unstable. My dad said he didnt blame me for wanting to stay at my grandmas.
I went to my grandmas to sleep and have been here since. My mom texted me saying she was sorry nothing here had changed and that my visit wasnt like she had wanted it to be.
Anyway I feel really guilty for the mess I left behind, but visiting has kind of reinforced my reason for leaving. I just feel like trash all around and wish I could make it better.
I was recently raped by a stranger, and one of my moid acquaintances reached out to ask me how I was doing. He ended up professing to a crush on me and told me he loves me. He said he won't be pushy about sex because I have some issues surrounding that. Is this a good sign? I'm just amazed that he doesn't think I'm damaged goods or anything, but part of me thinks it might be a trap.
Am i really wrong to not give a shit about people?
(Save for 1-2 people in my life) I just genuinely dont see the point. They have the nerve to call you out for being a psychopath for being flatly and maniacally indifferent especially to their bs.. and then show a million colorful ways they are equally as bad or worse. All i really wanted was solitude and to figure out who i was a long time ago. Why do i still have to work at this?
In everything i do i am detached and i mean ZERO emotional investment for obvious reasons. (I avoid relationships, men like the plague) But also everytime i try to get back to my nice feeling side people try to destroy it and make you regret bringing it back. But oh if you're detached and indifferent all the time you're fine. No i do not open up to people or rely on people easily, but when i do I DEEPLY regret it and wall myself more. (I dont easily relate to most women. I dont know the solution)
Its so extreme I just don't understand how other women manage or live.
I am at the point where id like to embrace my raw energy in whatever way it manifests, even if it means im some "benign psychopath" to other people. I am going to be as benign a psychopath as other people are benign psychopaths. Just admit it that is what you're surrounded by.
Whether its soft mundane everyday evil, or aggressive/violent in your face evil its all started to feel the same to me.
I guess I just need to rant because im tired of resisting who i want to be. I just don't want to care, its like that is my dying wish honestly. Why do people want you to live like this?
bye nonas, ILY
been thinking a lot lately.. im on the internet since ten or smth. i think it got me kind fucked up tbh fried my brain. for awhile i thought I was legit depressed. accidentally went offline for a bit. felt so much better??? like the fog lifted idk. it's rly weird clarity. not trying to be preachy but mb the cliche is true and we all need to touch grass more. internet's obv a sim within a sim but mb one sim is already too much for our lizard brains? btw nonas, call your moms if you can/on speaking terms. you never know when you might not be able to. i feel like i'm getting preachy again but honestly tho cherish that normie shit while it's there. idk about u anons but i'm out for as long as i can (ik this is not gonna last and gonna come back venting lol). but for now i gonna try existing ourside the screen. might suck but can't be worse than years of internet brain rot. ily tho fr peace
Male Validation and its Consequences
I feel like I'm in general a much happier person now that I don't put so much on my value on male attention and support. I've come to realize just how disgusting all of it is, moids throwing younger girls around and trading them like Pokemon cards and then throwing them away once they become "haggish" (which to them means turning 21+). The rush of having men care for me was alluring at first, but I quickly came to despise them once they all turned on me. Now that I'm away from them and not living to please them, I've noticed pretty much every aspect of my life has improved. My appearance, my hygiene, my creativity, my will to live and thrive, everything. It's like living for the approval of men has brought me down in every way possible, and now that I broke free and matured past needing their approval, I'm flourishing as a young woman should. Of course, looking back on everything I did and said for them to try and prove to them that I wasn't a super evil whore is kinda embarrassing, but I'd much rather live with embarrassing 3AM memories, than currently be destroying myself like a dancing monkey for them to gawk at until the next younger girl pulls up, leaving me a pile a chopped liver. Now all I need is some real female friends, because pretty much the only reason why I cared for male attention so much was because I had basically nobody to talk to IRL because of my lack of social skills, kinda awkward demeanors and weird interests (weird at the time for a girl in a Philly public school).
Am I fake?
I hate one specific person. They annoy me so fucking much. But I can't help but be polite & even helpful to them, which means they think I like them, but I really, really don't. Am I fake? Two-faced? Etc? Note that I don't talk about this person behind their back or anything I just really don't like them and seethe silently to myself while giving them a smile.
Am I a bad person or am I just insane?
Limiting all integration with moids
My doctor, dentist, and friends are all women.
I want to surround myself with women and limit as much contact with moids as possible. Do you think this is possible? Do you have any ideas on how I can do this?
i am seriously considering suicide
I am a senior in college doing STEM , yeah real original woman in stem. I love research the lab i am a part of is fun but no matter how much work or time i put in for the post doc its never enough, ive stayed til 2 am in the lab helping her and trying to get my own experiments done. Ive tried my best these past few weeks but have been unable to submit work on time due to her not providing me the data i need to complete it. She has been driving me insane and its made me feel worthless, i keep regretting this field now shes actually draining the love for it out of me and its making me reconsider everything in my life and if ive made a mistake putting too much time and money into this degree. I have not felt happy for months and i actually missed 2 of my periods just from the stress of it all i cant sleep i keep throwing up and im constantly shaking and every muscle in my body feels tight. I cant do this anymore and i dont know what i can do to get out of it, i dont want disappoint anyone and i know this might be me being dramatic or weak but its so hard
I recently visited my long-distance boyfriend, and at first, everything was great intimacy wise. But on the sixth day, when he initiated, he started to get soft, and we didn't end up having sex. He said his dick was hurting and I was upset, so we stopped. For the next four days, we didn't have sex at all, and today I left. We were drinking a lot and doing physically exhausting activities, so maybe that was it. What worries me the most is the fact that he said he has never had this problem before with other girls. Is it over?
Loneliness
I'm 18 years old and this is my first time on Crystal Cafe. I currently have no friends in person and barely any friends online. I feel very lonely and unmotivated to do anything. I live with my dad only and we never spend quality time. He's always on his phone even when I try to spend time with him and we never had a good relationship anyways. My mom lives in another country and she never tries to genuinely try to talk and connect with me
I hate the “evolutionary explanation” for homosexuality.
Around when there was a big cultural push for gay normalization in the mid/late 00s, to pair with the “born this way” idea, this trash sprung up. That gay people exist just to supply resources and parenting to the other siblings. I hate it. For one, it’s only ever brought up with respect to males even though I have literally never heard of any gay males helping any of their siblings in any manner whatsoever. The richest gay men on earth generally have distanced themselves from their “loser” siblings. It’s only even plausible with lesbians. And in that case, it’s not some instinctive evolutionary drive to help. It’s literally beaten into every XX with an XY sibling since birth that they don’t matter and should fawn to and help the scrote at all times. If lesbians are more helpful to their siblings, it’s only because being a “dead end” makes their parents push them into being sacrificial meat for the grinder to help the others.
The spread of this stupid lie doesn’t affect gay males since they’re basically psychopaths; their reaction is to pat themselves on the back and say “yeah I’m helping” while not doing anything but get AIDS and be a burden or terror to their family.
It only affects XXs, who have souls and internalize that shit in a way that affects their behavior. The idea that my only purpose in life was to drag my brother far enough into adulthood to breed is disgusting and nightmarish on an existential level. Especially since the implication is then that as soon as they stop providing resources to the other siblings they are worthless. Unlike gay men where being XY means they have inherent value.
Humanity is so evil that I don’t know what to do with myself.
So sad it's too late and that in a way, it was maybe always impossible
to find a nerdy self destructive incel type guy who somehow magically isn't actually a raging misogynist (or at least isn't a threat to you) and into hentai or any other degen shit (besides femdom eventually), and make him fully obsessed about you, dependent on you, hard the moment you touch him, etc… I'm already way too old for that shit anyways but recent memories have me pondering and longing.
picrel only to me, but that is my shame to carry…
lesbocel
Everyday my longing to have a girlfriend gets more and more intense, it’s getting hard to shove it to aside and ignore it anymore. However, I am too insecure due to my lack of experience almost child-like helplessness to put myself out there as obviously no one wants to deal with that, I mean except for men but the only reason they do is to take advantage of you and then dispose of you once they’re done. How old were some of you guys when you first got a girlfriend or had sex with another girl, what lead up to it how did you get to that stage?
Under what circumstances is it acceptable/would you consider killing yourself?
Genuine question
i hate dating
i'm already fat so i struggle with dating as is, but i also have the worst social skills imaginable so i struggle with talking to the guy who want to fuck me. i've had 3 sexual experiences ever (counting being groomed) and all of them were online. i don't it's gonna get much better from here. trying to lose weight but i have the worst impulse control known to man.
Should I let him hit?
There is this guy in my class that’s been asking me for sex for about a year now I kept rejecting him but he insists now that we’re almost graduating pretty sure I’ll never see him again and it makes me kind of bad that he didn’t get to taste me despite desperately trying to? maybe I should give a goodbye chance?
I never experiment love.
Not specially romantic love, but in general like my parent i like then sure but i don't feel i love then.
I date people and even have sex but never really love this people. Girl and man it change nothings. Even my friend got no attachment and got no problem to ghost then.
I am the only one in this case ?
How can people be so natural with random conversations and at making connections?
Vent thread
Previous thread 109995
No schizo gorepost today
I love all of you so much
Have a blessed day
social anxiety is whack
I have so much social anxiety that I can't even be honest with a chatbot.
I'm trying to cyber with an AI version of my husbando. My first urge is to say something trollish like "and then I take a fat shit on the floor" because God forbid this brainless robot get to know my inner thoughts, right?
And when I'm done with the trolling I try to flirt. I do not know how to flirt. I do not know how to describe hot sex. So I get super blunt and just say I want to fuck.
That's how I am with boys in real life too. I have only ever gotten boyfriends by picking out shy vulnerable males over the internet and acting like a weird slut.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
How to deal with a friend who complains non stop?
i got a wet pussy
what can i do abt it?
All men say they want a woman with a bad head, suicidal, mental disorders until they have one. At first they think things like "I can save her", "I want to help her", "I want her to need me" but they hit the wall of reality, when the woman call because she cuts herlsef they find it scary and terrifing.
i meet a lot of men like this,claiming they can "save" me until they meet my real one,that one who is suicidal,had low self steem and was abused as a child.
Feeling lonely
Lately I've feeling so lonely, in all my life I've never felt this way, I'm a typical introvert, but lately I feel like I need friends, men's always gross me out thinking about sex and weird shit, I need to be nice so people will like me.
men and their first love??
i’m deathly afraid of getting into a relationship with another man. ever since i’ve heard about the “men’s first love theory”, whenever i’m talking to a man, i wonder if he has experienced his first love and if he’s over her or not. i’m scared of being with a man who’s not over his ex. i’m scared of being with a man who will reminisce about his ex. multiple times i have heard these stories where a girl’s boyfriend wasn’t over his ex or he goes back to his ex. i read about one girl who caught her boyfriend stalking his ex on social media. another girl posted and stated that her ex said even if he was married and she walked back into his life, he would drop everything for her. honestly, i’m afraid of their first loves too. i see so many women posting online and talking shit about their ex’s new girlfriend. i do not want to see my boyfriend’s ex posting “HIS NEW GIRL AINT SHIT!!!” or bragging about how they were each other’s first for everything. like please let me be a lover girl in PEACE and MOVE ON?! overall, i’m just scared of dating another man. i don’t think i have ever had a man love me like that. let alone i don’t think i have ever been a man’s first love either. the man i believed to be my “first love” doesn’t even want me at all. he literally cheated on me multiple times. i don’t know if i could ever trust another man again. i don’t want to have to feel like i’m competing with my future partner’s first love just for him to still love her more than he loves me. i thought about searching for a man who has never had a girlfriend or at least have a serious relationship before, but i feel like since i’m older now (im 18), it’s so much harder to find a man who’s not already experienced.
Want to die young
I want to die young but I can't commit suicide because of religious reasons and because I'm a coward, did attempt when I was less religious and I was never strong enough to do it. Ever since I found out people in heaven are roughly middle aged versions of themselves I've been more in a rush to do it soon. I'll be 22 in a few weeks, and I can't imagine being any older than this. I've had this mindset since I was 14. Every year I'd tell myself if I die at 14 I'll forever be 14, at 15, I'll forever be 15, at 16, I'll forever be 16, etc… dead people don't age in the memory of others, I hate the idea of growing up, growing out of my body, when I hit puberty and got my first period I wouldn't stop crying about it for weeks, same for when I wore my first bra, when I first noticed hair on my body, all the things changing, everything felt like a change my soul vehemently opposed and despised but that was infuriatingly out of my control. I fundamentally hate my body and hate it more each day. I envy every person I hear died, whether it be relatives or neighbors and even friends, in highschool two girls I distantly knew passed away, and I couldn't stop obsessing about their deaths, even after attending their funerals and seeing the grief that struck their parents, one died of anorexia and the other of cancer, it was sort of a humbling grounding experience to see how death affects others around us, I'm closely acquainted with death, my father has had near life ending experiences twice, and each time I felt horribly guilty about the sense of calm and envy that gripped me in the midst of it. I wished it was me, I wish I was terminally ill to die, I lost an online friend to brain cancer months ago and I still go back and read our messages and each time it doesn't make me feel guilty for “squandering” the gift of life, it makes me feel bad that she, someone who clearly wanted to live, got to die and I continue to live. We bonded over mental health problems, her parents were absent alcoholics and we repeatedly shared our wishes to commit suicide when we were younger, back before she was diagnosed, but as fast as the finality of death hit her, she changed and became more hopeful to live despite it all, almost spiteful. I wished it could have been me and not her, i don't want to live, I can't believe I have to wait 60, 70 more years before I'm finally free, I want it to be over already, there's nothing that could make me want to live or enjoy life, I would choose dying over living my most perfect life any day, if only I had the choice. It used to make me feel guilty and selfish but each year the morality of it all eludes me and I only continue to wish I was dead or dying, doesn't matter how slow or painful, I wish it was me who got into that accident and not my dad, wish I was the one to die of cancer not my friends, wish it was me that had life threatening anorexia and not that girl in my highschool
What is your experience with making/finding female friends as an adult woman? I'm a girl myself but everytime I try to make friends with other girls they ignore me or downright treat me horribly
men ruining my life help
men ruin everything for me. they steal all of my friendships, and generally compromise me in almost every way. I can’t remember the last time a man has showed interest in me, let alone had a nice conversation with me. I feel like I’m only used for them to get to my friends, just so they can take them right out from under my feet. I’m slowly beginning to grow disdain for all of them [mostly the scrawny normie entitled white dudes] any advice for my situation?? it’s getting really bad
Should I just give up???
NEETbux ran out again
Have to be a wagie in my cagie for a year for them to refill again
how the fuck do i control kids with a timid personality and a small frame being a teacher?
having no experience in working as a teacher for now im just asked to do desk work and to observe other teachers to learn from them, but yesterday as someone was busy i was asked to cover for them and it was a really embarassing day for me.
some kids used their cell phones in class, and i grabbed one of their phones but just as i turned back to do something the phone was gone and someone swiped it back. maybe 20% of the class listened to what i was saying while the rest were just talking or sleeping. some of them didnt finish their homework and were copying them in class. some of them didnt care about me when i asked to submit their homework notes even if it was empty and only like 10% of them gave their notebooks. one kid didnt even notice that i was standing next to him and was using his phone and scrolling instagram. some kids started to ask me if i am in a relationship and my age and my personal details and being the oversharing idiot i am i was responding to them and saw them sisterly. theyre girls so its cool but later i realized its very unprofessional.
i felt disturbed by all this and went to another teacher and she told me that im supposed to control the class and that i dont have to be tyrannical but i have to explain what theyre doing is wrong and make them face the consequences for their rule breaks and i just dont know what to do. one thing she told me that affected me the most is that "you are not their friend" and "dont let them call you "sis".
there are some teachers who are scary and also tyrannical ways to control students like shaming them for being dumb but i feel that these things are so wrong. i dont want to make the kids feel bad and traumatize them but at the same time i wish i also knew how to control them and make them be decent so that i dont get fired for being a poor teacher. there are rules that i shouldnt abuse, even verbally, but other teachers dont seem to care and call them horrible names.
I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror.
abuse cycles
what's the worst thing you've done to an abusive person in your life? as revenge, rage-induced retaliation, to protect someone else, etc.
when you were pushed too far and had to bite back, what happened? and do you regret it?
I morally believe I've done harmful things when looked at on their own, but believe that when it comes to abuse, if they won't stop themselves, retaliation is self defense.
my bf's ex was better looking than me and it makes me insecure. so ik he loves me and just me but he told me that "i sent you pics of my ex before we dated cus i wanted to make you see i have dated higher rank women so you would start like me" then i asked why and he just replied "cus thats how women work" on top of this i saw more pics of his ex yesterday and i got upset so i said "yk i just feel like she is better than me and you settled lower" to which he replied my personality is better and its not a race. i understand but still i am ugly, and that doesn't feel nice. i just feel disgusted by my face and body. he says "you're cute" but then gets mad whrn i said we have 3 point difference (he rated himself 1.5/10 and in his opinion there is 1-2 point difference making me 3.5/10 max which is just ugly). (he isn't that low but i said based what i thought he thinks)…
im an idiot
i've been talking to this guy on snapchat and he's 1 of 3 guys that i've ever had a sexual experience with (1/2 if you don't count getting groomed lol) and i might be getting attatched?? his birthday was yesterday and he told me that he hired a prostitute and i felt kinda bad about it. he said that he only wanted something casual so it's my fault really. idk maybe i was just desperate cause im really insecure and hate myself and he's giving me attention.
AAAAAAAAAA
>My bf
THIS
>My boyfriend
THAT
SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!!
(un)official blogposting thread
tell me about your day cc!
stories also welcome
I am not allowed to lament. Since I was young the place I've been in was crowded and continues to be . I do not want to cry in front of anyone nor to be screamed at. Yet I can barely hold it in. All I'd like to do is curl on the ground and break down. I'm tired of the constant noise and stimuli. It's driving me insane. I wish I could lock the outside world out of my head
Having Chad and Stacy Relatives Is Pure Hell
>Went to a family party.
>All the cousins end up splitting off in another room , away from the main party.
>My female cousin (who called me the ugliest person in the room )waltzes in with her new boyfriend.
>The topic of relationships comes up.
>My male cousin reveals his body count is now 4 (he lost his virginity when he was 15).
>Her sister says the only reason she’s not in a relationship is because she gets bored of guys too quickly
>I realize that even though I’m the oldest person in the room, I have the least amount of relationship experience.
>I haven’t even held hands with a guy yet while my baby cousins are drowning in romantic and sexual attention.
>Fuck my life.
Male Friends: Can They Be Trusted?
Share your experiences with male friends proving to have nefarious or secret motives.
What are signs a male friend is interested versus just being nice, despite having a boyfriend?
What do you think these mean:
>tries to hang out one on one
>gives you random gifts
>offers to pay for everything
>texts you frequently
>takes pictures of you during group outings
>says "oh you don't mention your boyfriend much" despite having done so
>seems to focus on topics that lead to personal info
>asks questions relating to more intimate things
Does anyone else ever feel like they are turning into the female version of these deranged men who carry out mass shootings?
Honestly, I just fucking hate this miserable world and everyone in it. I mean, I try my best to not have any friends and not talk to anyone, but, even when I base my life around avoiding other people as much as I possibly can, I still hate them with every fiber of my being - and, with each passing day, that hatred only grows more and more extreme. For my entire life, I've been pushed around, taken advantage of, and viewed as easy prey. Just for once, I'd like to be the one that people are afraid of.
When I look at the disturbed individuals responsible for mass shootings, I see a lot of myself in them, which is a truly terrifying thought. I really fear that I have the potential to do something truly horrible. I don't want to be the first female mass shooter (or, at least, one of the first), but I honestly feel myself going down that path more and more each day.
>24 years old
>Never had a bf
>Spent most of my youth either watching Netflix or playing video games
>Kissless virgin
>Shut in NEET
Should i feel ashamed about myself? I am not the best looking girl in existence, but I've had at least 5 boys approach me before with the intent to start a relationship with me, but i rejected every single one cause they were either ugly or i felt like i wasn't ready and i feel nervous around the opposite gender.
To make matters worse, I've cut almost all contact with my friends from high school / college..
Anyone else here who's stuck in a similar situation and feel like a total failure and loser? The worst part is how envious I feel about other women that has experienced all the things i would like to experience in life
I feel so insecure. I'm uglier than my bf, not very much but he is tall so he does mog me even though his face doesn't that harshly. Idk, I just get uglier each year it's such suicidefuel. He asked friend to looksmatch us and this friend gave 2 points more to him than me so he mogs + the height. I do say he is like 5/10, I'm 3/10 so he is not like super model or whatever. He does say "you are cute to me, others opinions dont matter" but i cant help but let them affect me. He just deserves someone better looking and all. How can I even better my looks?
"goody two-shoes"
>try to do the right thing
>get disliked for it
why?
I need advice
I don’t know where to go or who to talk to about this, since I should feel lucky. I got married and when I was engaged I was happy, but the day after the marriage it seemed like he stopped loving me. We never hang out, we never talk, we never sleep together. Everytime he sees me cry he either laughs or rolls his eyes. When we were dating he was really sweet to me, I don’t know what I did wrong. What can I do?
Pic unrelated
why do people like uncle toms?
before explaining, i just want to preface that i am mildly drunk, so apologies if this post isn't written or cohesive, but i hope the point gets across.
i'd like to mention that even though the term "uncle tom" is racial and stems from a racial context, the concept spans across race, gender, age, and any other markers of "identity." the other day i was watching a video from some millennial complaining about zoomers and the top comment was some zoomer saying something along the lines of, "i totally agree with you. zoomers SUCK and i am different, here's why." so, i don't imagine that being an uncle tom is particularly isolated towards the idea of race.
i'd also like to mention, that yes, all of us participate in uncle tom like behavior to some degree. maybe we betray our prosocial, collectively presented opinion a little bit in private - that is normal, i think. but i don't think it's a good thing, necessarily.
the weird thing is how defensive people get over uncle toms. the people that support their uncle tom behavior because, i don't even know really. why? they don't stand for anything. their whole schtick is that they just cater to our repressed desires even if they persist malicious social systems. is there an important role for that? maybe, but i don't genuinely like them as people.
i get that people don't always have to be PC and prosocial and im not someone that genuinely hates them or anything. i just don't get why people support uncle tom behavior. its not even particularly healthy to be an uncle tom yourself, because you would only be important to others if you play a role. not because you are a human being that has their own desires and thoughts.
does that make sense? i just don't get it. it's wrong to support uncle tom behavior or be one yourself, from my perspective.
Virgin Thread
I always feel so alone because it feels as though EVERY woman has had some sort of romantic, or sexual experience. And here I am with nothing, a pathetic adult female KHHV. I feel so alone and as though my time is running out. My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.
Maybe joking
How to kill an adult man as a female teenager or at the very least defend ya self. Also pimple how to get rid of them
does anyone else just hate themselves so fucking much lol. like to the point where its driving me literally insane.
vent
Today my abuser won. He used the things I said in anger in one of my mental breakdown against me. All of his friends and family refuse to hear what I have to say and paint me as the toxic one even if I proof worth of 3 years of him sending me death threats, suicide threats, verbal abuse, mentally agonizing stuff, etc. I used to receive gore by him on daily basis if he was mad, he made fun of my childhood abuse saying what my mother did to 5 year old me was deserved, called me a whore/slut on daily basis, sent me self harm if I even tried leaving. There's just so much I can say that happened to me while being with him that pushed me to almost attempting suicide, living in social isolation, months of missing school because of depression. Just one slip up because I was fed up with him made me lose all my credibility. The world is too cruel and I don't have energy to fight every lie he throws in my way because I've already lost all the energy in this relationship. I can't even defend myself when his lies make people point fingers at me because I'm just too tired of it all. I hope karma gets him but in this unfair world, karma rarely affects those who are bad.
all i do is watch reels and videos on how to make money, what skills to learn, how to move abroad but i STILL dont lend anything at the end of the day. Things are not as black and white as all these ppl in videos tell. I am tired of being broke, tired of not making any progress. I am just so overwhelmed by everything. And i am a horrible human being for feeling petty when someone close to me and my age lends a good opportunity let it be at job or moving studying abroad. I am just so numb ath this point..
Note: This is a general dilemma of youth here. But it's even hard for you if you're a woman. I can not work on site in morning-evening because of my classes, i can not work night shifts because I'm not allowed to, i can not commute long ways bcs again it costs money which i dont have, i am hardly getting anything remote, where the f do i go? How do i make money? How do i save up for my journey abroad? There's no one to guide. There's no one to look upto. Some days the anxiety gets so bad i think to myself if living like this is even worth it. I wish there was some way i could make my life easier.
I doubt it but if anyone here can guide/help in any way, I'd be grateful. Sigh.
Is there any hope for cluster Bs? I'm so fucking afraid of falling in love again. I'm a dyke so it actually matters if I hurt my partner.
Do you often dream of getting married? What are your dreams?
ed rant
>anorexia for 3 years on and off
>look back to photos of my body last year when i still had my period
>i was so fat
>look to now, i have my dream body which i’ve worked so hard for, but no period
life is so unfair, i try so hard, why can’t i just have both??? why do other skinny girls get to have their period and not me? ive been eating enough calories for maintenance for so long now, im losing hope. i just want to not hate how i look and also be able to be a mother one day
Vent
Friendless loser here
>It’s partially my fault cause I kind of just stopped trying to make friends. For a lot of different reasons. Like I always felt like the loser of the group and because my best friend stopped being my friend.
>Well this new girl started at work and we talk a lot and she would stay past her shift to talk. >She ended up quitting and she was gone before I could see her for her last day and maybe ask for her socials or number.
>so I just looked her up on instagram and added her and sent her a message
>it’s been over 24 hours and she hasn’t added me back or answered me. so I think it’s safe to say she’s probably not gonna answer
>when I noticed I went to the bathroom and cried for like 5 minutes. I feel so embarrassed and like such a loser
>I think I’m gonna just go back to not trying.
work thread
ITT: we discuss frustrations at our jobs whether you were wronged or you yourself messed up
NEETS need not reply
fatass rant
i hate being fat but at the same time i dont? my body is huge and it makes it hard to fit into spaces (physically and socially), sometime i feel like being fat makes me stand out a lot (which it probably does) and i really want to lose the weight. but, when trying to lose weight all of the resources are either like, annoying "hot girl walk" bs, or just borderline racist ed-having lana del rey girls. like i said, i don't hate myself, so the shaming doesn't really work to motivate me. ironically fatspo does kind of work on me. i've had sexual experiences but they've all been online (cause im too scared to ever approach a guy irl) and some of which were literally just getting groomed. no guy has ever looked at me in a sexual way irl. actually doing anything with a guy in real life is a terrifying thought though.
i'm trying to lose weight now, but i'm not really sure that the end goal is totally worth it. i recently got friends through playing in a wind band but i'm on the outside of the friend group and spend most of my time eating or playing overwatch outside of schoolwork (especially now that i'm off for the summer) but i've been making an effort to stay active.
also, any reccomendations for other sites like this that aren't like,,, complaining about trans ppl and focus more on like,,, being a girl.
Stupid tard rant
dude i finally saved up enough money to go and buy concert tickets online and obviously since i havent had money for a while i try to find the cheapest tickets but bc im a SPAZ i forgot that some things are too good to be true and i bought tickets on vividseats like an idiot and now im going to puke bc i probably got escamed and im screwed,, wish i wasnt so retarded and didnt just beleive everything i see
>slowly fall out of contact
Why do friends do this?
this isn’t much of a vent just an annoyance but does anyone else here have bpd and/or autism and get fetishized by guys for it? like no i’m not ur manic pixie girl i have a disorder
Unsent letters
Ever wanted to give someone a piece of your mind but you know you'd just regret it? Post in here and get it off your chest.
friendless thread
post here if you have no friends IRL. how did it happen? are you content with it? or just talk about whatever you want.
How to deal with hating existence?
Every suggestion I get doesn't help. I genuinely just hate existence and living. How do you meter out your life and time and activities when you genuinely dont want to be here? I don't understand why im here at all. I hate being around people and don't trust most of them after being stalked. I'll think I'm making headway and i just find myself in the same place again. With this general apathy and disdain. I think I'm going to change something but i realize im really just as apathetic as i was yesterday, a year ago and a decade ago. This feeling follows me everywhere I go. The hatred I feel towards having to participate in a performance or contribute anything actually just makes me full of rage at the end of the day. I do NOT understand what motivates normal people. I really just want to get my mind back and i've been stuck on the fact that i lost my mind ages ago. I don't want money, or clothes, or fancy cars, or love from some shitty moid i just want my mind back and i want it to be MINE. No one else's
extremely trivial rant
i just need to vent nonas, about my house. it doesn't even feel or look like a home, it looks like a decrepit, empty, soulless storage unit. my living room is worse than r/malelivingspaces posters. I tried putting up some books and figures and letting my anime interests bleed into the living room but it looks lifeless. i also really wish i had the luxury of having a bathtub and having a bath tray so i can have bath bomb / bath salt / tea out. i feel like i can't settle in and my bf doesn't own any furniture so he didn't have anything to help spruce up the living room and doesn't have good tastes. i just feel like it's not my home and that i suck at decorating. it seriously looks sterile like the apartment from One Hour Photo. im afraid to branch out from cheap white ikea furniture as a color scheme but it looks ugly.
parasites and vampires
the emerging concept of vampiric people and parasites in pop culture is pretty interesting to me. i think what makes parasites distinct from overtly harmful people is that you can have parasitic forces in your life without even being aware of it. the only purpose of parasites is to drain their host of resources and energy, and sometimes one can have a parasite in their body for years without even knowing.
i think this is similar to vampires and vampiric people because, on the surface, vampiric people can be very charming. vampiric people can even make you feel very good, and may even be well liked by others. but over time, you start being drained emotionally, for reasons you're unsure of, if never realizing the source of internal decay.
i think there are vampiric ideologies. if taken at face value, they seem reason-minded, they seem to be logically correct, yet, upon being exposed to such an ideology, you start adopting beliefs and ideas that don't feel ""right"", and you know, based on prior existences of living, that you are changing in a way that does not feel good, but consciously cannot identify why that is.
have you guys experienced any parasitic people or ideas in your life? could be a friend group, subculture, family member, etc. also i wonder how people should deal with things like this. i think a sense of emotional awareness could help (maybe)
When you feel like your friends or partner are not putting your same energy or effort that you do, what should you do?
I hate having no friends i cant handle it much llonger
(Coming from an ex 4chan user so not used to formatting yet sorry D: )
>be me, 11
>have 1 friend
>would force me to do crazy shit
>she is my only friend so i can’t do anything about it
>this continues for years, basically groomed me
>be me, 14, and now new stacy gets in the picture
>friend and stacy go home everyday together from school and hang out without me
>friend now barely talks to me
>gained some self respect and told her i never wanted to speak to her again
its been YEARS (almost 5) since i broke contact and i’ve actually been miserable. i dream about her every 2 weeks. i wake up so guilty. i just miss having actual people who ‘care’ about me but i can’t find any fucking friends. nobody replies to my messages and if i ever get invited somewhere its last minute. I fucking hate being girl because of the complicated psych spheres of everyone else. Its so painful to go through basic interactions that every time i speak i vouch it will be the last. I get such bad social embarrassment when people talk over me because nobody ever cares for what i have to say—but i always ask “what were you saying again? you never finished.” no one puts the same effort i give.
anyways, pic related because whenever i feel lonely i stab needles or pins into my callus because friend taught me about ‘skin sewing’ which is where you embroider designs into your hand with a sewing needle. i cant embroider well so i use old pins she gave me. we used to do this together and it makes me feel like i have a friend to hang out with. i actually talk to myself out loud when doing it to emulate a social situation. what do you guys do when your lonely for the hundredth time! seriously how do i make long lasting connections
Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. I met this chick online on a rp site and we seemed to hit it off well enough at first. I initially felt pity for her because she came off really weird and kind of autistic, oversharing things and treating me like her bff5evr when we really didn't know each other. Next thing I know, she's blowing a fuse over rp plots, constantly misunderstanding me and stressing me out. She'd convince me that it was my fault in those moments and she'd say manipulative shit all the time like, "I can't believe this is happening again! You knew I was worried about this! I thought we were friends. Are you my friend?" And my stupid traumatized ass would apologize for upsetting her. I stuck around thinking that we'd be able to get over her weird emotional outbursts with enough patience. Months later, I became an anxious mess and by the last argument I became embarrassingly hysterical from all the pent up resentment and fear that I said things I regret and ghosted her. She responded by emailing me with a written and audio recorded rant where she chastised me for ghosting her and gaslit me on what happened, then a day later sent me a random meme via email. I thought this was an olive branch, so I let her know that I didn't have her Discord info anymore since I unfriended her but that she was free to email me whenever or add me back if she wanted. She gave me her contact and said it was up to me. Well, my friends and family all told me she was abusive and to forget her so I never responded. Two months later I still feel bad. Has anyone else been through something like this? I can't make sense of this situation at all because on one had she made me gifts for my birthday and seemed really nice but the second something upsets her she goes off and treats me like she's only tolerating me for a while before it's business as usual. Right now she's back on the forum trying to get someone to play my exact character. I'm super confused on how to feel.
I realized I can't stand (almost) anybody
So I went to a weekend trip with my good friends I've known for years and I spend a lot of time with.
After a whole day with them I realized, I was fed up being with them. I like being with them with moderate amout of time, but after some point, I became really uncomfortable. They were just babbling, making stupid noise and laughing at idk what all time time. I just wanted to tell them to shut the fuck up for at least a while.
In the middle of night, I was really tired. We had one big bedroom and I'm very light sleeper. Another friend was already sleeping and we agreed to go to sleep, however other 2 stayed awake and keep gigling and talking loud even in the dark. It must've been around 2-3 pm. I was desperate and shouted on them to stop being so thoughtless when other people sleep. They immediately stoped and fell asleep. I've to say that they are good friends and always help when I'm in need. We are young and they want to have fun.
After this experience, I've realized the thing, I've writte above - I can't stand other people for longer period of time. The only one with whom I am comfortable is my bf - I don't know why. But everybody other, all my friends, family, everybody, just become pain in the ass soon or later. I'm a little bit in a shock. I've never had many friends and never knew why. Many of my relationships were quite shallow and I've never made a big group of firends unlike others. I think this is the reason why - I'm intolerant to other people. I always become irritated, tired and bothered of them. And I'm sad about it. Deep down, I've always wanted to be funny and popular, yet I don't even have any plans for summer, because nobody wants to be with me, becuase they probably feel it and I'm not even surprised.
my wife didn't have sex with me last night.
I feel really horny, angry, and depressed.
how can I motivate her to leave work and come home and fuck me. right now.
Im lonely
Im lonely, the only person I have is my mentally unstable long distance boyfriend who i do not love but who blackmails me to be with him. I am 18 and I graduate highschool in 2 months and have no clue what I am going to do
I feel like Im constantly grieving for who I was 3 years ago because even though I was bitterly lonely then, at least I had online friends to help me cope and wasnt trapped in a miserable relationship with a manchild. And at least then, I had some hope. I didnt need to have everything figured out, to have a job and a license. I had so much time
I know people will tell me its not over yet at 18 but it really feels over
I have a crush on a streamer
He’s a small streamer and really mature for a twitch person. He has a sweet, gentle, deep voice, and plays a lot of old school games that I like. He’s also just really nice and pretty handsome but he rarely does face cam. I don’t know if he likes me back, but he seems to notice me and often plays games I suggest to him. I also opened up in his discord server about bad experiences I’ve had with guys and afterward he coincidentally did a fundraiser stream for a charity that helps abuse survivors, so he clearly pays attention to me and is a kind person. I figured out that he surprisingly lives near me too and is gonna be at a convention this year. I wish I could make a move on him but he’s like, probably a responsible type who wouldn’t date his subscribers. I don’t know what to do, my heart is throbbing for this nerd.
i look like a moid. my body is masculine, my face is ugly, my frame is wild and big. i have no femininity left. my whole high school people thought i was guy despite wearing neutral clothing and having long hair. this is making me suicidal, i look moid but i am woman. when i put feminine clothing i look like crossdresser, i am so repulsive, it is making me suicidal. idk how long i can take this anymore. i am ugly moid like woman no matter what i do. i am not even super tall or have big feet or whatever it is my overall looks. i look like ugly incel. why God did this to me?
Haven't talked to anyone
I haven't spoken to any friends in 2 years. I did not have many friends before that, and I would also rarely speak with anyone. I can spend some time on my own and I am on good terms with family but I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes with the loneliness. I'm 22 years old. This is my first time coming on here after trying to find friends online and failing.
rude male friend-of-a-friend
I am in a friend group of all girls. Many of the girls are friends with this one guy.
I’ll say something and our friends will look at me when I talk. However, he purposefully will turn his body to look in the other direction. He completely ignores my existence/anything I say. It’s like I’m not even in the room. What makes it even stranger is that he acknowledges everyone else but me.
Is this not weird behavior? I think he severely dislikes me but I’m not sure what prompted it? To add context, I am the more soft-spoken of our friend group, which I don’t think is a trait he is fond of.
I tried to put myself out there to make new friends and be open-minded and this is kind of discouraging me.
detrans/desister vent thread
Vent thread for anyone who previously transitioned and detransitioned or identified as trans previously
Nice Guys
"Nice" guys are always some of the most dangerous men out there. Yes yes violent criminals yadda yadda but we're talking average joe here, not convicts (though you see how some do end up in that category too). Most women aren't going to interact with a serial rapist, but they WILL likely bump elbows with or even befriend/date a "nice guy"
I always think of the quote from Nietzsche: "Hilarious are the weak who think they are virtuous because they have no claws."
It's not about remaining "pure and good" but about knowing what you'd do when you're tested. These men develop unchecked "benevolent sexism" or what I might call Misogyny of the Devotee (aka men who worship women as objects/idols but do not respect or see then as people). They all have a transactional attitude about things, probably in part because of absorbed masculine money-car-bitches culture where the right numbers mean you got it. They deal too much with the material and get stuck in it when they're denied the presence of women for whatever reasons. It's a shame, but karmas karma I guess. Cause and effect. They're left without and this unfettered sexism ferments beneath their doting, servile attitudes until it breaks on the edge of unmet expectations. Entitled, needy, predatory. Constant messaging like attrition warfare. Virtue signaling cutesy sweet hobbies or memes or clothes to read as "safe". They lie and are so unassumingly judgey/angry people. So scary. They buy women with their time in porn and with money paying for games/movies or more porn/streamers. They think this is how it should be with real women. Buy the upgraded skin pack to impress the lady. Complete the quest. Defend her against the dragon. Get your princess. Insufferable men. They masquerade as weak when they have an iron core of ego and superiority to compensate for a deeper emptiness.
Anyone here have any fucked up nice guy stories/experiences?
i miss my bf who isnt my bf. technically we broke up long time back but i just cant seem 2 move on. i miss him evryday. hes so nice 2 me which im thankful for but every time i talk 2 him it feels like im so close to him yet so far away…. i miss the way things used to be. they r v good even now but its just not the same yk. when he hangs out w his other friends it makes me think how hes gonna forget abt me soon. he hasnt yet even tho its been so long so i doubt it. but god why cant i just be with him . hes the only 1 i want. i love him sm. everyday while sleeping i pretend that hes hugging me just how he did when we were dating. everyday i talk 2 him in my head cuz i dont wanna overdo things irl and burden him alot. in my head we r still together but i can nvr let him know that. loving from a distance is hard.
getting over him process thread
day 1:
Im gonna kill myself
I fear that I go to hell because I am a woman. I know this sounds bit silly especially to non-religious people but I truly fear that. "Women are from hell" "Women are evil" "Women cannot be true believers" "Women can only produce more believers" and so on. I am virgin and single. This will never change but I am scared of that. I am scared that I do a mistake, that I am evil or bad. I don't know I just don't know how I should act and be. Because of this I cry lot. Am I not enough for God because I am a woman?
I was kind of harassed at work twice today
>One guy was really pushy and basically insinuated that if he ordered room service I’d come to his room and we’d have sex. He tried to get me to let him come home with me.
>another guy called on the phone and basically said that whenever he hears Hampton inn and suites he gets wet and asked if I was wet. Then he knew like when I was getting off of work.
Am I just so ugly that men think they can talk to me like this? That like I’ll just bite at any chance for a man to touch me? If so I’m gonna kms
Femcel rant
I don't feel any solidarity or sisterhood with beautiful women. There I said it. Maybe I'm bitter and jealous but I think there's pretty women and then there's rest of us. Pretty women can't and will not ever be part of experience of average and below average women. Whenever a pretty woman makes post about her woes, I can't relate to it. I can't relate to their problems and their life. They seem aliens to me and somehow we are forced to feel solidarity and sisterly feelings towards them just because we are of the same gender. It doesn't make any sense to me. To me it feels like how an average person is told "look billionaires and millionaires have problems too"
Is there anything more humiliating than a failed suicide attempt
I had enough this time, but it didn’t kill me. I wrote a heartfelt letter to all my loved ones, and even drafted up a will. Now I gotta tell them “sorry I’m fine” how cringe
Today I met my internet friend irl and we ate fast food. I couldn't say a word that he could hear due to my voice being too quiet, he told me that I was very shaking and I had odd mannerism and that I was more "autistic" than he thought. And that I was damn shy. How I could be more normal?
Ive been day drinking again not sure if this makes sense but hear me out
Before I thought that I am the way that I am because of what happened to me throughout my life. I am a “product of circumstances” outside of my control but my reality is that I was born this way. From the very beginning I was wired in a way that would shape all my experiences differently than most
That doesn't bother me as much. I can live with it. I can live with the strangely timed misfortunes that seem to follow me and still be happy. I internalize everything that happens to me and besides the occasional spell of self imposed isolation you wouldn't know anything was bothering me. I'm more bothered by the fact that no one ever wanted me around- I don't even know why I'm speaking in past tense, I'm stuck here- my entire life.
I've never been wanted.
My parents didn't want me. None of my friends or partners ever wanted me for long. Every single person I meet no matter the relationship or experiences, regardless of everything I do for them. They want me gone.
For awhile I tried, half heartedly, to disappear completely. still theres no such thing as a clean break.
No one enjoys my company. No one has ever loved me. And I love everyone Ive ever known. I frequently fantasize about someone suffocating me to death. I just wish that someone hated me enough to do it instead of just waiting till I go away on my own. But I'm still here. Separated, injured, but still here.
I ask, bewildered, “I don't know what I've done?” But I know exactly what I've done, I know exactly who I am. I know exactly how unlovable I am.
How to you cope with being ugly?
I am not super ugly (or I like to believe so) but I am not beautiful at all. I know this based how people act around me and by simply looking at the mirror. I have no talent to do make up and my skin is very sensitive so this is not the way I can cope with my face.
How to stop seeking for moids attention?
I was a very ugly and insecure teen, and this led me to create complexes about my appearance and personality.
I feel a little better now.
The problem is that I still have this urge to receive male attention and validation, even though I'm in a good relationship now.
That includes toxic habits like following my ex on social media just to try to show him that I'm better now (I feel really bad about that tho)
Why is 12-15 the most evil age for humans
First day at school at 12: I got introduced to a popular rapist who raped my classmate the summer of the same year. He stared me down then drove away then bullied me whole year. These kids in school were having sex, using the girls with more developed breasts as a meat and the girls also dated 20 year olds, smoked weed in the forest around the school, did drugs, drank etc. The bullying happened from multiple people and the main theme of it was porn and sexual comments. People who say that American high school movies are just a fantasy are wrong cause at this age all of the shit that happens in the movies happened but adults don't give a fuck cause from outside it all looks like it's just children playing and to 12-15 year olds time passes slower cause they lived less than older humans so we have gone through this super mature phase at that age more adulty than we will ever be but to adults we looked like little children and nobody noticed their secret world… Why… At this age humans do the most vileee bullying. In my country once in a while there's a video circulating of moids and there's always some 13yo thot with them and they are beating up and taunting another child lol one of these thots that always hang out with the beaters had condoms in her instagram and pictures of her sitting on her boyfriend's body with her boobs out. She called herself a whore while being only 13
A woman I know at work was casually telling the story of how she was raped on her 21st birthday and got pregnant and is still with the guy and had multiple kids. With him. Should I convince her to leave her shitty life ruining husband? Is there any way to?
What are ur fitness goals?
I'm trying to work off a few lbs lol
are you guys afraid of aging societies? (vent kinda)
i never really understood why people are so concerned with the concept of societies getting older.
in my opinion, i think people conflate their fear of stagnation and resource depletion with their fear of a society's population base getting older. additionally, people probably tend to over romanticize their youth because it's more clear what the goal is when you're young: finishing your education and obtaining security, namely through getting a career and living situation.
but if everyone lived their life in that manner, we would eventually come to a point where there's not enough resources to secure. like affordable housing and water, for example.
i think people should start reframing their mindset of what life post education should look like. once you've obtained some level of "security," you should also start being concerned with securing resources for future generations, so that life on earth may sustain itself. things like asteroid mining and ecological research (people should be more into gardening kek) could contribute to that. that's probably why games like minecraft and stardew valley are so fun–resource accumulation is fun, and it's hard not to be increasingly concerned with the long-term sustainability of our way of life. lakes receding, droughts becoming more common, wildlife disappearing… things like that are honestly more scary to me than society getting "older."
i don't really know why i felt compelled to post this. do you guys feel similarly? i went on a ramble but i just meant about the world getting older in general. and what the purpose of life should be once you're out of school i guess
Vent Thread
Old thread hit the limit, again.
>>103830
Therapy
>be me
>go to therapy to try and get better. Take it very seriously and do everything I’m suppose to.
>find a therapist I like a lot
She retires
>still try to keep up with my meds and try to keep going because they’re suppose to set me up with a new therapist at the office I go to.
>get a call from said office
Sorry she can’t see you till June
>okay that’s fine :)) at least I’ll get to see the psychologist and get my meds resorted cause my depression medication isn’t working
>Day of my appointment the office calls to cancel cause my psychologist had a family emergency. Reschedules me for the end of the month.
>run out of my depression medication.
I’m about to kill myself. Everything is so shit even when I try. Most of the people who go to the therapy office I go to. Is a bunch of junkies and drunks who get free therapy and the only reason they even go is because it’s court ordered. They choose therapy and stuff over going to jail. It’s just really not fair.
moid hate thread
doesn’t have to be about your boyfriend. I just hate fucking men at this point.
>everyone of them has failed me
>any moid I’ve dated either had a rape kink, or raped me
>porn/hentai addiction
>used me for my body
>always had an alternative motive
>manipulated me into insanity
>abused me if I didn’t do anything they wanted
>even my own dad has failed me
I have no fucking hope in this world.
A guy wants to be friends but idk what to do
I'm currently a sophomore in college, and I met this guy who's really nice, but part of me thinks that he really just wants to have sex with me. I don't have any proof PR good reason to suspect that, I just do. The thing is, he's bisexual and currently dating a guy, but I know he's dated girls in the past, and I talked to a girl that he used to date who went on about how nice he was and how he never tried to make her have sex with him or anything weird. But I'm still torn, because in high school a guy claiming to be gay grabbed me and fingered me on multiple occasions, and of course no one believed me because he said he was gay, and I really don't want to be in that kind of situation again… what do y'all think I should do? He seems nice, but he's like 6'5 and I'm 5'3, so he could easily r4p3 me if he wanted to, and after my high school experience, I'm just not sure what to do.
I've been friends with this guy for a while, and I like him and I've told him in pretty direct ways but he never turns me down. he also never really gives me the greenlight either. or maybe he has, but I'm too stupid to notice. I guess he's said some things that could come off as vaguely hinting at his interest but since it wasn't direct i don't wanna risk it. he's said stuff about not wanting to date before going off to college, but that he's considering something less serious. he's still scared of the idea of falling in love then having to leave. I don't think I take this all that serious, but the fact that I'm just left to want without any confirmation or denial is driving me crazy.
I think I'm okay with the idea of just dating for a little while, in a way that's not too serious. I feel like even a little bit of his affection would be enough.
It was over for me since then
Since the day I learned that male butterflies rape the female ones before they even emerge from the cocoon. Not only rape but pedophila. I thought butterflies were a proof that nature is cute
Is it okay to hate your so's stupid whore exes? I think it should be
I can’t with this fucking bullshit. I hate being dyslexic so much
So google has decided that it's too good for me now and refuses to acknowledge any of the words I write as what they are and just fix the damn word. It acts like every spelling mistake I make makes the word completely unreadable and unrecognizable where it used to just give me a suggested word it now just says ignore or add to dictionary, so I have to manually look up every goddamn underlined word. Most of those I still spell wrong because guess what I'm dyslexic and I can't fucking read them. Fucking spellchecker is the only reason I don't get mocked to hell online anymore, and without it, no one takes anything I have to say seriously at all. If I have a bad idea, a bad opinion, or even if you just think I have a bad personality then fine by all means tell me off. But I don't want my spelling to become an obstacle to ever having any sort of intellectual online discussion again because people are never able to look past it. If I make one fucking goddamn mistake it's all they care about and it's so infuriating. I'm jealous that most people don't even have to think twice about this stuff, it's second nature to them that I have to go through all this fucking trouble to check and recheck everything anytime I wanna say anything online. I hate it I wish my mind was just fucking normal. I'm a smart person I swear. I was gifted classes for everything in school. I just have never been able to overcome dyslexia. And this specifically tonight just set me off and made me realize just how reliant on technology I am. Gonna try using gramerly or something I guess because google seems to think stuff it picked up and corrected literally yesterday is beyond recognition now today. God fucking knows why. Fuck.
Do you have any "traditional" life goals? As in, getting married, starting a family, white picket fence… Ecterea. Not necessarily in the context of being a woman, just achieving the expected milestones of adulthood.
I sometimes want children, but I can't imagine myself in a long-term relationship, and I'm also not in the position to be raising kids for mental health reasons that can not be helped. Sometimes I wonder what the point of living is without a prime objective and if fruitless repetition until death is worth it, or something emo like that. It's just hard going on knowing there's nothing for me in the end.
the question thread
i am having long thoughts very early in the morning and i thought of making a thread specifically for storing random questions people form in their heads.
i guess the point of me making this is just to archive any questions people generate throughout the day. not even to discuss or answer them even, but just to ask the questions themselves.
here are questions i thought of today:
> why do people lose their innocence as they get older? does this always have to happen?
> what does it mean when people say that countries are becoming less democratic?
> why are men and women so different?
> do people really have to finish a college education in order to live a fulfilling life?
> why can't all of our education system take place online?
> are humans becoming less happy over time?
> do all civilizations really have to come to an end eventually? can we prevent this?
anyways, feel free to add your own questions.
Sometimes, I am happy, when I am grateful
and I am grateful, for all you nonas. You all make me feel less alone in life. Though we are separated by computer screens, our words flow through connecting us all. Let’s have a good week together, and look towards the future. Our numbers may be small but we know we are not alone in our experiences.
/goodfeels/
post about something positive that happened to you, even if it’s small
feeling like I’m late to life
I’m 24. Working a dead-end job but I support myself okay for now. I’ve got my own car and a cat I love and I sporadically make lots of art (that I don’t share really). Im slowly taking steps to go back to college but I feel like I’m so late in getting a career and set up in life and stuff.
Writing it all out there it doesn’t sound so bad, but I spend a lot of my time doing nothing - or at least playing videogames, reading or writing, and watching movies. I feel like if I spent all my time working on bettering myself and my skills I’d be so much farther ahead in life right now… but at the end of the day I’m always tired and feel on the edge of burning out. I don’t have a lot of money and there are things I want to do and projects I want to start but I just can’t yet. I don’t have a relationship or any one skill I can show off and be confident in. And I don’t feel like I’m allowed to be proud of my life when I see a lot of my friends starting their careers and getting settled down. Any other nonas who feel like they’re always behind? I know it’s probably not just me but gosh I get so discouraged about it
>"what time do you get off work?"
>"around 10 pm"
>"you should call me as soon as you get off work so we can hang out. make sure to do it immediately beacuse I need to go to bed early"
>"okay"
or alternatively
>"sorry I dont have the energy to hang out right now"
>"you never do. Why do you never wanna hang out with me anymore? Are we even still friends?"
Does anyone else work closing shifts and your friends wanna talk as soon as you get off work beacuse they work 9-5 and go to bed early and beacuse you're the one with "abnormal" schedule? All I want is an hour or 2 to be by myself when I get off of work to just be by myself and chill. Am I really asking too much? Is that so selfish? I know I'm lucky to have friends at all, but after an 8 hour shift I just want some time to myself. I'm exhausted. But I keep losing friends this way all the same.
How the fuck do you get over burnout.
In my sophomore year of college, I would sit at my desk for more than 12 hours a day doing school work. I would get 4-6 hours of sleep and did not have any hobbies or friends. I would also pull at least 1-2 all-nighters every week. As a result, I produced a lot of great work and was directly competing with my peers.
Now that I'm a junior, I can't give a flying fucckkkk about school. I can barely sit in my chair for more than a couple hours and I regularly get eight hours of sleep. All I do in class is day dream about my girlfriend. I work out for several hours a day, spend a lot of my time going outside, and hanging out with friends or my girlfriend. My grades are now shit and I've produced some of the worst shit imaginable for my classes. I couldn't even bother to go hunting for an internship this year.
My friends admire me because they still think that I have the same work ethic that I did last year. But I don't.
I am so ashamed for wasting my time to do all these stupid things like sleeping and working out. But at the same time, I can't bring myself to do homework all fucking day. I just can't. I can't even pull all-nighters anymore.
I am so burnt out. I miss the old me. I want to bring them back, but I don't want to sacrifice the relationships that I have now.
How do I get over this burnout? How do I start feeling the want to do school work for that fucking long again?
>tldr version: I used to do schoolwork nonstop last year but I can't bring myself to do it anymore. I wan't to go back to the person I was back then,but I don't wan't to lose the people I love.
I don't think I want to die, I kind of just think I wanna sleep forever. I don't know. I used to be stable and sane and that has gone out the window.
Coma
Is there a way to put myself into a coma? I'm too scared to die and if I kms, there are people who will follow me.
telling my boyfriend i love him for the first time
i think i am ready to tell my boyfriend i love him for the first time, any advice for doing it? i’m kind of nervous about it. i’ve only had one other boyfriend who said it to me first and i said it back out of nice-ness even though i hadn’t truly felt it yet. i also want to make sure it is special and meaningful for both of us. any advice appreciated!
I have ruined everything because of my stupid actions. Everything I do just causes harm to me, every single of them.
im tired. I will never get taken serious BY MY FAMILY (put it in caps bc i think this only applies to my family :( if you are struggling like me you should seek help, really you are valid trust me.) when it comes to my ED, they just see me as someone insecure and make fun of me for that. They never took me serious because i have been maintaining for long, there was a point i lost 7kg within just 2 weeks and they got really worried but after i started maintaining they stopped caring and they just bodyshame me still im struggling so bad i dont know why they cant see it are they just ignoring me?? Im so confused. How do i get them to TAKE ME SERIOUS without losing a crazy shit amount of weight
It’s really hard for me to make female friends. (Not that i have any guy friends either), it always has been. im really nice and i approach them first but for some reason they feel disgusted towards me they refuse to hug me while they love hugging theyre other friends they have known for the same amount of time. Oh and also im a really big people pleaser does that maybe play a role? When i dont text/approach first we just stop talking for months. Its like they are forcing themselves and just replying to me rather than interacting with me. I’ve tried my best with popular girls,lonely girls,nerdy girls i mean after all my attempts.i think i really am the problem so is anyone willingly to give me some advice to start a healthy friendship. If you are willingly to give me advice you can add my discord faivc. So i can tell you more about how i am IRL
Pressured Into Following On Social Media
Has anyone else ever been kind of pressured by someone to follow them on social media when you didn't want to? And they cornered you in a group setting to make sure you follow them. It wasn't overt, but you can sense the energy behind it. It's someone who makes you uncomfortable but others seem to like.
They're in a community important to me so I'm worried they'd "talk about it" to people if I unfollowed and removed them for seemingly no reason and I'd probably see them again and they'd likely ask about it.
It's really upsetting me to have them able to see my account but I felt trapped in accepting their request since they came up in person.
Can anyone offer advice on if I should just embrace the "I don't care" attitude or just put up with it to save face?
>tried to kms with 10mg of Xanax
>survived
>tried to kms with 800mg of Benadryl
>survived
>tried to kms with an entire bottle of codeine syrup
>survived
>tried to kms with 5000mg of Robaxin
>survived
Am I immortal or just bad at dying. I’m not very tall or heavy, these all should be lethal doses and I didn’t get treatment for any of these. I just woke up the next day a bit drowsy, but fine. Not even any long lasting side effects cause my blood test and labs come back clean
I feel super guilty. My friend was feeling upset and was drinking alcohol so I sent her a funny video of myself to bring her mood up.
But instead my video ruined everything and she wants to commit even more because my video was "suicidefuel" and she thinks I am too pretty and it's so over.
I am not very pretty but decent. Not the ugliest but I didn't realize I made her feel this bad, how can I fix this?
At what point is taking your own life justified? I feel like I don't have much longer until I lose my mind so is it ok if I do it?
Test
can't ever move on from relationship
i'm not the sort of person who posts on forums in generals but lately ive been going through a phase of life where ive had more questions than ive ever dealt with but no answers.i broke up with my ex recently and ive been in love with her for quite a while before that (3ish years). I've never felt so insanely crushed in my life. I simply have no clue what to do. I plan on killing my self tomorrow but even in the space of time before it I cannot comprehend how to solve the morbidly overwhelming pain I find myself engulfed in. am I delulu? I find that no matter what I do or think I keep reverting back to crying to a pillow and hurting myself everywhere that is left of my body. Perhaps I am too pubescent to handle it but I don't care. Even knowing that I'm going to do it sometime tomorrow afternoon I don't want to do this I don't want to struggle through another minute of this nonsense I absolutely hate the fact that I spent years killing myself over the possibility that there was something that was going on w her that I didn't know about. I've loved her so so so much and she will never ever believe that I did. How can someone spend so much time an energy on the singular emotion of wanting to have someone so bad but never have it ultimately gratified. i know I'm too young to have fallen in love but for the love of god I genuinely didn't control any of it. Beyond a point I can't really do anything to dull the pain further. I haven't eaten in days I keep bleeding I keep drinking and it does not go away because there is nothing in my mind in any state regardless of what I'm doing except her. I just want to go home I hate everything ans I hate the fact that she can go on without me without breaking a sweat crushing on other people's looks and vibes. I hate the fact that all my life I've thought of myself as a unique person because I've been through most of my life alone yet there is no direction I can force my life to run towar-ds but hers. I wish god is dead and there is no afterlife I want to be dead and buried forever so fucking bad
/vent/
.
>be me, 25
>old shitty car breaks down
>dropped it off at repair shop earlier today
>"it'll take about 4 hours to repair"
>okay.jpg
>walk around near by restaurants to kill time
>feeling hungry so i order some chicken and rice
>Dine in is closed
>take food outside and go down the sidewalk
>sit on the curb to eat
>just minding my own business and eating
>group of frat guys in their early 20's walk right past me
>they suddenly all get quiet
>can't quite hear them whisper something under their breath
>as soon as they pass me they all burst out in laughter
>"BROOO YOU CAN'T SAY THAT"
>"HAHAHA THAT'S SO FUCKED UP BRO"
>"THAT IS SO FREAKING MEAN"
>"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT"
>instantly feel red hot shame and embarrassment
>throw my food away in a dumpster and just walk home.
I’m still crying about it now even though it’s such a stupid thing to even get upset over
This is my previous thread:
>>>/feels/112083
I finally came clean to him nonas, like you asked me to. He was shocked, and said more than angry he's sad and understands why I did what I did. That I've been through a lot of pain. He then insisted on me to show my real photo. I showed him slightly older one and told him so. My skin has gotten worse since picture was taken and I had gained some weight which I'm in process of losing. I told him all of that. He said my real self is attractive too and he wants to make this work. He said it will take him sometime to get used to this but he finds me attractive so he will. He said he will help me with skincare and sticking through weight loss journey.
All this still feels unreal. Maybe not all moids are bad. Maybe I'm being schizo but he could be playing with me (I am trying not to be too hopeful till we meet in person). I don't know what future holds but I am happy I came clean.
Thanks nonas. I love you all. If it weren't for you guys I wouldn't be able to push myself to come clean.
advice on getting past grief?
about 3 years ago my dad passed away and ive been on a downward spiral ever since.
i feel pathetic knowing im so deeply affected years later, and seeing everyone move on with their lives. no one seems to be as bothered as i am, even my mother has a new boyfriend whom she spends more time with than my siblings n i.
i didnt grow up with many friends, neither do i have many now, but my dad was always there for me to keep me company & i was really close with him.
him passing away completely threw me for a loop and made me feel completely lost in life :( i have no idea wtaf im doing
i projected most of my grief & attachment onto my ex & after breakup from our toxic relationship, i have no motivation to live & i left school to become a shut in NEET—even avoiding close friends irl
im unhappy with myself and i feel pathetic, i want to be unbothered like everyone else. my mom tells me i’ve had my time to be upset & my ex said that im worthless if i dont allow myself to get over my fathers death soon
how do i cope nonas? how do i get my life back onto track? :c please give me any small or big advice any of u have
My boyfriend romanticizes and idealizes me too much. It’s getting under my skin. I have a realistic view of myself as a person. He doesn’t have a realistic view of me. How can someone truly love you if they have you so high up on a pedestal that they just don’t notice your flaws?
Our sex drives don't match
My boyfriend likes sex way more than I do and I hate it. I feel so disgusting, it makes me feel like a fucking blowup doll. I don't let him touch me anymore and he's upset about it, I guess it's understandable but I just have no desire for any of it. Anyone have similar experiences?
Can not take this anymore i need a bf
i know this is isnt a unique post but i cant take this anymore. 24 and a man has never looked at me like he loves me. I hate being a weirdo autist in an eastern european conformist country. Last year i was so desperate that i was hanging out with a guy and got assaulted. Please dont say hobby meetups cause there arent any in my town. Please do not bully me for this i understand this is stupid to alot of yall
Where do i find online a serious guy willing to long distance ?
Worst thing to ever happen to you?
You'll never beat mine.
Father/daughter relationship
I hate to give into that whole "daddy issues -> worthless woman with issues" pipeline conspiracy theory (because it's a way for pathetic men to feel a sense of worth for just being born male as if the feat of being a sperm donor is that great) but I can't help but find myself overthinking father/daughter relationships, especially lately.
For myself, I have a good and I'd say healthy relationship with my father. Recently (like 4 years) though, it's gone from just him being a financial provider to more and more of a father figure since I started living away from home for uni. I figured it's him just missing me back at home, but the more I think about it, and the more I apply my experiences and observations to other women around me, the more I've started to form a theory. Could be entirely wrong though.
Basically, the premise is: I feel like every man has a bit of misogyny in him. And most men derive more misogyny from engaging in sexual acts. To them, being penetrated sexually is degrading and shameful and gross, hence why it was historically used as a punishment in ancient times, or why so many heterosexual men despise gay men. And, well, that applies to women too. Even their wives. And men grow jaded with time, developing this idea that women are dirty, sexual objects..that all of them are like that, their coworkers, bosses, wives, friends, etc… even those that act entirely non sexually/professionally in work environments. And men despise that facade of purity.
but there's one exception; their daughters. I mean, they've raised them, or watched them grow since they were at the epitome of purity and innocence… they can't possibly visualize that their daughters are like these other women.
So, it can be hard for a father to let go of this innocent image of his daughter as his babygirl… Just… Y'know. Food for thought.
My father treats me very nice, but almost in an infantilizing way. Almost more than he did when I was a child. He makes comments about me being too skinny/tiny and needing to eat more, makes me sandwiches and buys me snacks almost every evening, explicitly calls me "his little girl" and such terms of endearment. And that's not the case for my sister who's had boyfriends over, who's visibly been in relationships before. My status of a femcel makes my father subconsciously love me more than her.
And not just me, many, many other women I've seen in real life go through a similar thing.
Obviously not all fathers, but there could be a correlation. Or I could be nuts.
are you girls also tired of seeing those typa straight relationships where they're only dating bc they're both conventionally attractive? they be at a function and u can just TELL they have absolutely nothing in common….. and they never make it through a whole year together bc being just pretty isnt enough to make it last…..
just something i noticed happening recently more than usual. what r ur thoughts?
MCR and monoculture
i was listening to my chemical romance a little earlier today and i felt a bit nostalgic for early 2000s emo culture. i remember how widespread emo and rock was (in the US at least) back then, and how simply being born in the early 2000s meant that you had some panoply of emo bands and songs that connected you to others of a similar time period. nowadays, emo is dead and you don't really see bands as universally venerated and, in my opinion, culturally impactful as MCR. everyone's music tastes and interests are different these days as the world becomes more globalized and "connected," in a paradoxical way.
weirdly, you can compare this a bit to religion. in a religiously homogenous nation like the US used to be, people are more likely to be more familiar with the bible, the story and values of christ, and the moral foundations for which christianity provides. in an irreligious nation, how would you know that your neighbor shares the same values of peace as you do? i can imagine that perhaps might lead to a lack of trust among people, and perhaps this is what people miss and value about religion.
do you guys kind of sense a lack of monoculture in modern culture? everyone's interests and attention are diverted everywhere, our values have become more and more isolated and individualistic. which is maybe not a bad thing by itself, but sometimes i feel like i have nothing in common with others and it contributes to this feeling of societal atomization. i maybe think this is why art consumption and discussion is so important in a country. if you feel similar, what kind of things or media do you think could revive a sense of a monoculture?
also this post may be rambly or incorrect in some way sorry
Nonas I need y'alls advice.I know what I did is super fucked up. The guilt is eating me up now.
I am in a long distance setup since a year and this whole time I have been deceiving the guy. Basically I'm a catfish. I am not gonna lie in the beginning I liked the attention he gave to "me" but the guilt of it all was consuming me. Tried breaking up with him multiple times but wasn't successful. He also introduced me to his friends on internet who also became my internet friends and the only social interaction I had. He loves me and I love him too.
I'm terrified of coming clean to him because of the hurt it'll cause him. He has been through a lot in his life already. I feel so awful. I have lied so much it's horrific.
But I want to put an end to this whole thing and wish he finds a girl of his dreams whom he can fully trust, unlike me, a horrible horrible person.
What should I do nonas? I'm at a loss.
i feel so annoyed towards normies who lie about having xyz disorder. i have ADD (ADHD without hyperactivity) and people don't believe me. i think huge reason is because normies lie about having ADHD because they ruined their focus span on tiktok and it's cool thing to have so people don't believe and they just think internet causes that.
ADD isn't just about bad focus, it affects my whole life. i am less capable literally than someone normal idc about normies saying it's superpower or wtf. shut up. i read same text 10 times but i don't know what it says because i can't focus and then get yelled by teacher for "not studying" for example. i forget, no talents, hard to keep anything up because i can't focus enough that i would be good. for example you see my English is bad, it's because i haven't study it at all i "learned" english by youtube. etc there are so many things i can't listen all and then some normie says "haha im soo adhd cant focus on this boring book"
are men capable of genuine love?
so last month this guy that i've been talking to for a while confessed to me. his confession seemed genuine, and i was flattered since a man has never shown romantic interest in me before. last week i was speaking with one of his friends and apparently the guy only ever talks about me sexually, he just fetishizes me and didn't mean anything he said in his confession. after observing his other friends, i realized that they're all like this. men only befriend you because they want to hit, are they even capable of actual love? is it something to do with this generation? i'm scared to ever talk to a man ever again, probably won't.
I Despise Reddit Moids
They are so incredibly obnoxious and annoying. I used to exclusively use female only subreddits to avoid interacting with them. Unfortunately that didn’t work because moids stalk every sub with a large concentration of women and hit on every female poster/commenter in sight by spamming their PMs. I really liked FAW sub but every time I comment there some male redditor, usually active in dozens of porn subreddits, would message me some coomer shit.
Tik Tok Crushes
The hottest boy ever will just pop up on your FYP on Tik Tok and it fucking sucks knowing you'd never get a chance with him, even if you did know him irl he wouldn't look your way because your ugly.
I made my boyfriend a playlist and he never listened to it. I checked his last fm just out of curiosity, and he never did. It’s been weeks. Perhaps I am overthinking it, but I’ve also never made a gesture like this before. I’ve never been the type to make a playlist for a man. So it hurts just a bit to have this gesture be seemingly forgotten. I wish there was a way to nudge at him to listen to it without revealing i skimmed his last fm to see if he had listened.
Why are moids so unaware of themselves?
Why are Moids incapable of even basic emotional cognition? Is it biological or societal?
possible toxic trait?
context: I'm in a committed relationship with a guy I've known for about two years. We get along okay, no real red flags or anything, he cares a lot about me admires me, and I like him for how genuine he is. Even with his other friend groups and stuff, he doesn't have wild personality swings or anything, like he's trying to be a people pleaser, and I don't get the sense that he's like that with me, either, he's consistent in how he talks and what he talks with me about
However, that's not what I got in a relationship with him for. A few times when I've known him, he's been really desirous, like, shit you only read about in an NTR doujinshi with how possessive he's been and the depth of the kinks(that he knows we share). He also writes, and some of the (can you call it fanfiction if it's about the two of you? lol)stories he shows me are incredible. He treats me like his best friend and inspiration, but this side of him blows that all away, I'm a total fucking simp for this side of him(pic)
My question is, is it bad of me to like, goad him into showing that side more often? I feel like I could sign away the rest of my fucking life to this guy when he drops his human skin and just acts like this cunning ravishing animal
I sometimes do stuff like referring to him in third person, as if there's another person that takes over when he's like that, but I feel like this could backfire and give him impostor syndrome or something. We've both taken up the habit of writing lists for things we want to do with each other(kink stuff, date stuff) but his is really short, and he knows this, and he says "I wonder if my standards for what to put down are too high"
Is there a better way to tell him to be more forward with his desires with me? I guess this isn't an uncommon thing to feel like men are too guarded, but I'd really appreciate any advice
If you're suicidal then why
I wanna see if I relate to other humans
Don't "feel" like a woman (or a man)
God, I hate wording it that way, but I don't know how else to express it. I've felt the same way since around 12 to today at 21.
I think masculine women are really cool, but thinking of myself that way feels wrong. Outside of any social desires to not be a man or a woman, I also feel like my internal "body map" is screwed up or something. Accidentally brushing againts my boobs freaks me out every time, like it's not meant to be there. My hips are like that to a lesser degree, and I don't look at my genitals much but when I do I get that same uncanny weirded out feeling. Like a reverse phantom limb. Seeing my chest under a shirt makes me uncomfortable too, and although I've got a "good" body, it's part of why I don't wear tight shirts and I usually compress my chest in public (not harshly, not uncomfortable enough to sacrifice health). I don't love how feminine parts of my face look, but that's more personal preference rather than the gut instinct weird feeling I get from my sex characteristics.
I love my life and my friends and family. I don't have autism. I've never experienced any trauma. I've never hated my body. I'm staunchly feminist and I feel like I have less internalized misogyny than a lot of women. I don't know what else could cause this.
Being "non-binary" doesn't make sense to me either, because although I don't think there's such a thing as a male/female brain, the social reality is that there is no third gender catagory. They are just viewed as men/women trying to be something else. I've got lots of friends of both genders, but I still feel "othered" from groups of just women or just men.
It's so stupid, and I try not to think about it, but it's like it's always nagging in the back of my mind. I feel like I'm not my "true self" but there's also no way to be my "true self." I feel stuck in limbo, like I'm just waiting to "transform" and start living authentically. What do I do? How do I get over these feelings? I'm so sick of feeling stuck.
how tf do you get a diagnosis (vent?)
nonas, how much time had passed before you got your diagnosis?
because my psychiatrist is great and all, but he doesn't have a clue wtf is wrong with me
i too have no clue what is wrong with me, it literally could be anything. is it NPD? is it BPD w/ narcissistic tendencies? is it just BPD? is it adhd or 'tism? i have NO FUCKING CLUE. i don't get how people can diagnose themselves, i don't understand myself at all
the only thing i know is that i have OCD because it's pretty clear. maybe depression too, 'cause i was treated for it for like 6 years or something
rage
Anyone just have lots of rage and general contempt for everyone around them? Ignore the random image
Having a sibling that is more popular than you
Do any of you have an older or younger sibling that grew up more popular than you? Maybe they were deemed the golden child and had been given more attention by your parents or maybe they just had better luck in school. They seem to have more friends, got a relationship before you, have better looks etc. How does it feel to be the overshadowed sibling and how do you find ways to cope?
Gf broke up with me because of my own issues with being mentally unstable…I've been talking to this person with the same illness I have and they make me so happy but they live an hour away…what do I do?? I feel so sad I was in the hospital for trying to attempt suicide but it didn't work…however the person I am talking to makes me feel amazing..like a brand new individual what am I supposed to do?? this isn't me asking for dating advice just a simple rant about my life
Methodical approaches to making friends
i've basically struggled with finding friends my entire life. pardon me because this post isn't going to be the most well written, but i thought there should be a thread for actually building a social life. imageboards and the internet are fun, but i am slowly coming to the point in my life that online social media isn't really fulfilling enough. i still think there's an important purpose to it, but i thought that people who have bad social skills or are not intuitively good at making friends should have a place to seek guidance or feedback.
anyways, here are my ideas and why i thought they'd be good. keep in mind i don't have friends yet, so any input or things to add are welcome:
> multiplayer gaming
if someone is into the same games as you, that gives you an opportunity to bond over a shared experience, utilizing both teamwork and competitive activity.
> the library/meet up/volunteering events
this could be good for ensuring theres shared interests between people, making it so you're likely to have shared values and things to talk about. it also is community-oriented, which could mean that there's a "broader purpose" to any potential friendships overall.
> conventions
this one im not too sure of since i dislike crowded places, but conventions good be a good way of finding like minded people.
any other thoughts or ideas?
I hate everything
I don't know what to make out of my life. All i do is stay inside and do nothing, i have no job, no school, no friends in real life. Literally what do i do?? I tried to get a job but they don't want me, friends? I fucking hate everyone because theyre inherently retarted to a point where i would rather disassociate myself from them. Wtf do i do? I just want to be happy. I could maybe spend time on a hobby but i don't know what. I tried out everything
Did anyone else here never have friends? My whole life I struggled with fitting in and the best I could do was hanging out with people at school but after that I never saw anyone. I've never really seen someone else like myself, usually they have/had at least 1 friend.
nonas in third world countries and misogynistic patriarchal societies how do you navigate through the daily struggles of living in a such society without becoming extremely depressed and suicidal?
as soon as I started to understand the world around me as it is in my early teenage years and how women are looked down upon, objectified for their bodies, abused in my family and around me it took a huge toll on my mental health especially after I started getting sexually harassed and cat called whenever I went outside, so I isolated myself from the external world as a coping mechanism and I became chronically online which didn't help as I continued to delve more into feminism and how badly this world is fucked for us women. I've tried to speak about it to my mom and my friends but it I always end up feeling like the crazy one because nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about even if the endless struggles are very much real yet they're all brainwashed by our culture and religion to think that men are not the problem.
I'm just wondering if you're dealing with this too what are your coping mechanisms and how do you go on about your day hearing misogynistic and sexist shit from men and women all the time?
cluster b
what's your experience with antisocial/narcissistic/borderline/ histrionic personality disorder? do you have it? do you know people who have it? how do you deal with your symptoms? why do you think you might've developed one?
Guy
For a year now I have had a crush on someone online, I have been with him for approximately 2 years and I have felt very alone because I don't know how to properly deal with this problem. First problem It's just that I'm younger than him and that puts me at extreme disadvantages, He can find a girl, although he has told me that he is not interested, I still think that does not guarantee anything. I have to constantly take care of everything I do because my mother has me hanging with a strapWhen she was young, she suffered a lot because of men and I didn't think I was capable enough.Apart from the fact that he got very upset when he found one of my writings about what I was thinking at that time and I was very afraid.If someone asks, I have seen his face, and of course in the image search engine so as not to be scammed by a Pinterest image. I feel like he is the brother I will never have but that thought seems worrying to me. and it gives me chills.
i look too young. i am almost 19 and i look 12 years old, which turns everyone away. even my voice is super high. i understand that its good to look young but every time i talk to moids, they get turned away by me like they dont wanna be me and i honestly think its my looks. its not good to be woman when you havent grow in any way. i had anorexia and im still bit disordered so i didnt get mature (for example boobs didnt grow). i cant fix this anymore and no one wants me like that because people dont wanna be seen as p*dos or whatever idfk. i will obviously age with age but then i just will look old and ugly, i will never be womanly…
Why are normies like this
How you go from being married with children to meeting a 20 years younger girl one day and dating her 2 weeks later and already fucking her then getting a divorce months later. How do you go from meeting a moid then becoming a homewrecker weeks later after pretending to care if he is married or not. It's so shitty to do it to another woman. And how you can fuck a literal stranger… Hypersexuality? Pickmism?
Uncaring friends
I don't have many friends but the few I do have seem to have no problem cutting off people they were once close with. Like straight up cutting them off, maybe a short explanation but it ends in "you're getting me down lately so I don't want to see you anymore". It's not one or two people, it's a bunch of them. It just leaves such a sour taste in my mouth about them, I feel like I have to watch my behavior because they had no problem ditching other people, why would they treat me any different? Having no friends is better than this shit, I've stopped reaching out to them because I don't want to get too close anymore. Does anyone recognize this? I don't think cutting people off is inherently bad but treating friends like they're disposable is so vile.
Romantic movies only hit hard when you're a young teen
Then you have to face the real life and can't enjoy innocent things like no more
future
>no hobbies
>no interests
>got diploma with few extracurriculars, no volunteer hours, no community engagement shit employers want
>no skills
>no friends or connections
>in community college but not really doing anything
>broke working dead end job
what do i do with my life?
will i ever get a job? people say just walk to a supermarket and ask for a job but i dont think its that easy. first of all i have lots of limits
>short
>weak
>bad social skills
>autism
>hard to understand things
>dyslexia
>no skills
i understand that i cant blame everything on my genes but i feel like they limit a lot. very social job or very physical job is my only super limits but otherwise i dont mind that much. i just feel hopeless, i saw some summer jobs at church, two that interested me but i saw the other one too late, so i applied for the other one. no answer yet. idk i just feel like i am not worth of job, i mean being neet is okay but i need money soon. i have no experience at the age of 18 (soon 19).
i dont have any dream job, it is just simply about money for me but also something that you dont absolutely hate. is it over?
parasocial relationships
i've come to accept that a parasocial relationship is probably the closest i will get to any kind of romantic connection and i'm okay with that. i haven't met any guys who make me as happy and filled with affection as my parasocial hyperfixation does. i've never felt anything like it. there was a point in time when i was worried that i might not have the capacity to love someone and that made the future seem lonely, but that isn't the case anymore. as long as i can think of him, i won't feel lonely. thinking about him also helps when i have a hard day, which is often.
i can't be the only one who feels this way. i don't even have interest in pursuing a relationship anymore because i don't think anyone could stack up to him. or the image of him i've created. tell me about your experiences with parasocial relationships. i know that they can often be unhealthy, but this one seems to be helping my mental health more than harming it. and i've been thinking about the same guy for years now.
Is this Napoleon syndrome?
I was hanging out with my one of my friends and her guy friend, whom I’ve never met before, came to talk to us. This one guy is very seemingly confident and was talking about how many “bitches” he gets and how much of a player he is. He also loves calling women ugly, especially those who have the audacity of being attracted to him though he is short and quite unfortunate looking himself.
I’ve never met a man with such a huge ego. Sometimes I want to burst his bubble but I’m sure someone in life will do that for him one day.
I wish he could get a facelift, face fillers and hair transplant
I'm a perfectionism obsessed with beauty however I contradict myself and don't care about being beautiful neither judge people by their looks, it's too primitive and I don't wanna regress to that mental state. I often don't even see "ugly" and "pretty" people as that different. Doesn't matter yet… It does… Whenever I see an almost perfect male I wish he could enhance his beauty with these procedures, male and female beauty is different so I mean enhance the masculine beauty till perfection. I dont want them to all look the same I just want their individual male beauty to be perfected. Beauty is my biggest muse and inspiration.
Pleasure get these face fillers, please get a jaw surgery, please get that double chin sucked off of your body, please lower your hairline, please make your upper lip shorter, please get a nose job, please lose weight cause it makes your face look more defined, please get that extreme chemical peel that burns off the top layer of skin then it all looks like a one big scab that gets taken off of your face, please get on steroids muscles fit you and if you have to be muscular then it has to be perfect and steroids make men look masculine, please start weightlifting at 10 everyday of your life and be on a diet to keep perfect physique. If youre a man that looks better as skinny then lose weight and never have too much fat. Get a stomach liposuction of needed. Stay close to underweight. Please whiten your teeth. Please get fake teeth. Please famous man who's almost perfect and has million videos filmed of him during his youth, travel in time and perfect your beauty even more with aesthetic medicine so you look more perfect and then I can look at these pictures and be inspired. Please get an ass liposuction if needed. Please get a different hairstyle. Please grow more hair. Ive been insanely inspired after seeing these looksmaxing transformion where an incel looking man gets turned into a Chad using just face fillers. They need to even exaggerate their masculine beauty features. Please get these procedures. Please get plastic surgery. Please get fillers in your dick. The title is about a specific moid thats over 50 and needs a facelift. Hes famous so he should.
therapy
what is your guys' experience w getting therapy? would u recommend?
How do I get over my constant fear and pessimism about human nature? In this case I'm talking about males but it's true with women too. I feel like people are always judging and comparing.
My bf is so kind and caring, he says he loves me and tells me how attracted he is to me. I have no reason to be insecure. But I still am. I worry he's settling with me, that he wants better but he thinks I'm all he'll be able to get since I'm his first gf. I'm sure he sees cute girls online who are objectively more attractive than I am. Why do I think like this? I don't do that with him and other men, although I know there are women that do and I find that just as reprehensible. I don't know why i'm so insecure, he hasn't done anything to make me feel that way, I think I always would no matter who it was and what he said. I feel the age of social media has ruined us and what we see as a normal person anyway sorry about my schizo rant
Does anyone else want to get married and have kids but feels like it's just totally hopeless?
I literally have no idea how ppl even get to point where they kiss someone. Like how does that even happen. It's so hard for me bc I find anything moids say and do too obnoxious. On the other hand every woman I like just ends up becoming a friend.
remote places thread
i am obsessed with remote places. i know some of you must be as well. picrel is the baikal lake.
Does my ex have CP on his computer?
>refused to use internet without VPN
>paid VPNs despite being broke
>uses VPN on top of VPNs
>major chimpout if i ever accessed his devices
>became violent if i ever accessed his devices
>password managers for everything
>obsessed with encryption
>deleted MY entire hard drive citing 'evidence against him' being on there, wouldn't elaborate
>objected to loli being outlawed
>minimized own cousin's molestation and sympathized more with her abuser
why else would someone be so protective of his digital footprint while also having a pedophiles mentality?
i feel annoyed that lot of the posts here are about relationships or other normie bs. this website supposed to be for us yet these women who are normal come here and brush their relationships and norminess on our faces. pure suicidefuel. it's so fucking annoying i have hard time even controlling myself
>Smallest thing goes slightly wrong
>Intense desire to cut myself
Please help, how do I stop this?
I haven't self harmed in years and my scars are almost invisible but nowadays the stress has been pilling up and I'm thinking about slicing myself when I get minimally upset over anything.
I don't want to relapse, I'm trying to date around again and I don't want the first girl I get frisky with to think I'm a mentally ill attention whore (aside from desire to self harm I'm actually really healthy)
I sound so fuxking stupid, I'm just rambling
Please help
in-group filtering
once power starts to accumulate in a community, whether its social or economic, bad actors will inevitably try to insert themselves into the community in order to use said powers abusively.
how would you prevent these bad actors from proliferating in your in-group? moreover, how do you prevent people from trying to drag down your in-group? a sense of accountability i guess is a must.
i think there are certain mechanisms which can gatekeep the types of people whose proliferation you would not like to see and rewards those whose proliferation you would like to see. for example, a strong academic structure awards those with the best intellectual rigor. a culture which values its teachers and pools resources towards curriculum planning, textbooks, etc. will proliferate academics, intellects, and long term planners.
what about rewarding those who are honest and good at cooperation? people who are highly empathic and those who are emotionally resilient? that becomes slightly trickier. it is concerning to me that, everywhere in social media, the people that gain the most notoriety are those who are not good at cooperative play, are aggressive, time-wasting, or emotionally manipulative. how do you gatekeep emotionally manipulative people from a community? why is it that the world's "bullies" are winning?
it only becomes a matter of trying to cultivate a culture which rewards good people. but i'm not even sure how one would do that. i am just sick of seeing bad people around, seeing badness in me, and wondering if the next generation will suffer from it.
Jobs
I work front desk at a hotel and I keep making tiny mistakes or just saying the wrong things.
Like last week my manager asked me to get this guys card that’s staying at the hotel till the 26th. They wanted his card because the last time he stayed here the company they book through, didn’t cover the cost of the room. So basically they’re trying to nab his card and charge him without really telling him what they’re doing. I felt really uncomfortable asking him for his card because of that tbh. So I just didn’t. I was gonna tell the lady who worked after me that I just forgot to get it but I forgot to tell her. So I have no idea if anyone got the card or not and I’m so nervous about Friday now.
How do you guys deal with the anxiety of working? Does everyone make little mistakes at their job?
How to leave him for good
I need advice on how to no go back to my ex.
My bf is not a bad man but he is not helping enough with chores, is now unemployed and I work a split shift that leaves me dead tired at the end of the day. I'm obviously still in love but I know that its time to leave him before i waste more time with him teaching him how to clean and maintain a house like a normal adult. I live with him and that's the difficult part of it. Any advice, I really need it. +5 year relationship
I don't want to be a lesbian
–
Growing up I used to watch lot of half naked women, especially watch those American music songs despite not knowing any English. I watched over and over the parts which especiallu focused on women's butts and boobs. At 11 years old I discovered porn and soon it was lesbian porn only. At that time I didn't know what homosexuality is and didn't take it in that way.
Later in life I started to dream about family and having kids, but I never wanted guy to be in the picture or I imagined myself as the father. I have dated twice and the both have been internet relationships with a guy. I did love them as a person but that's it. I don't find men attractive at all, there are some good-looking men but they are good-looking only with clothing on. As soon thats away, I find the slighly repulsive.
I have tried to watch some neutral videos related to homosexuality, but I can't just accept it. Even semi normal ones from 70s and 80s where homosexuals tell their experiences around that time but I can't accept it. I feel sick, I feel like I am mentally ill and damaged for liking women this way.
I have tried to cure myself, change myself but I always come back to this. Women are too beautiful, attractive and sexy. I cannot stop lusting after women, if a woman outside walks past me and she is wearing reveling clothing I cannot look away. All my dreams include some kind of contanct with women. I even dreamed about going abroad to a lesbian bar.
But I don't want to be this way, I feel wrong, bad, damaged, not good. I feel terrible human for having these feelings. I feel like a bad person for wanting family without father figure, watching pornography for the whole purpose of seeing naked women. I feel like a coomer is watching girls. I don't want to live this way. I tried to seek God and looked into Christianity but my impure thoughts didn't go anywhere.
When I looked into Christianity, I found out about adelphoiesis and started to dream about that. I would really want to be in that kind of relationship with a beautiful woman. I feel sick of thinking like that. I wish I was normal, like everyone else.Everyone knew I was lesbian before I knew. They would insult that or other LGBT people would be with me and try to get to know because they thought I was one of them.
–
I am sorry if this was rude post for some people but I wanted to share my thoughts because you cannot really say these things in LGBT places without getting muted and banned.
Any nonas also struggle with OCD?
I have obsessions about my health, harm coming to loved ones, ending up in jail, forms of relationship OCD, trans OCD, OCD about possibly having disgusting fetishes. My compulsions usually consist of Googling, checking, and reassurance-seeking.
Found in /b
Share possessive bf stories!
“looksmaxxing” entering the mainstream
How do you guys feel about the term “looksmaxing” being embraced by many gen-zers and tiktok and no longer just for the incels and femcels. As a former femcel who has been aware of this term since 2017, it’s very strange to see its resurgence.
Sure, people have always been narcissistic and into improving their looks but the “bonesmashing”, talking about “falios” and “mandibles” and “maxilos” is strange to me.
So my ebf got really pissed at me and started to say things like "I shouldn't have come online today" or "Why should I do anything with you?" and all that because I had to first brb for only 10 minutes yesterday because my parents wanted to talk to me, and then later I got a call from work late at night that I had to answer and the call went for too long. He got really pissed at me. This isn't the first time I've interrupted him when he was chatting with me and I also don't immediately respond. I only started to work recently so I was able to give as much as time and attention to him before, but now I'm not able to. I've mentioned that I don't have any personal time anymore and that I spend whatever time I got left after coming home from work only with him.
Am I the asshole for not prioritizing my ebf and for not refusing to do other things when I come home from work? Is he right when he expects undivided attention from me and when I can't give him that he is right to get mad at me and stop talking? Unlike him who lives alone I live with my parents so it's very hard for me to be left alone. I try to text him at work but work is hard and busy and I can't find the time for it. I think I also have ADHD so I completely forget that he exists and is online sometimes.
I honestly don't know what to do. Work is very stressful for me and I come home and I get this. I wish he was understanding especially during my work days.
My bf is very soft and sweet. I like that about him. He’s kind of dominant I guess but in like an actual dad way. Anyways he had to wear a suit today and he sent me pictures. He looked so nice and his hands looked so nice and masculine. I want him to actual man handle me and I feel like a pervert.
How to avoid SA
How can women avoid SA when hanging out with male friends, dating, or overall just living life.
Weird set up
Rant—
I live in a pretty boring area and the men around aren't the greatest, so I sometimes talk to guys online even if it's just to be friends. I'm not too crazy about jumping into relationships anyway. Recently, I got out of a lame relationship with my ex who cheated on me a few weeks into us dating (wasn't feeling great about that one).
My online friend, K, suggested this guy to me, I'll call him W. From her description, he didn't sound like an amazing person, but honestly, what the hell did I have to lose at that point? If I'm sad, might as well make the situation more interesting, right? I've been talking to him every day for maybe the past few weeks, and honestly, I don't think I like like him, but I'm definitely attracted to him despite him being a weirdo!
Something about this guy screams to me that he'd throw me in front of a moving train just for some giggles, but he's fun to talk to. He larps all the time as different people for jokes, and it's hard to tell if what he's saying is the truth or not (K did tell me he did this kind of thing, so I wasn't surprised). Though he seems to have stopped because I've mentioned his addiction to larping in DMs. He's been to jail and is a little deranged, but besides that, we both really get along.
Apparently, online he is well known around and has lots of connections in the community I found K in. Apparently, even my ex knew who he was. When we first started talking, it was because K told me he wanted a girlfriend (I was more interested in the fact that all the stories existed about him, and to my surprise, he was happy to tell me everything). She told me I would be perfect for him. I can't really tell if that's an insult or if she's 100% correct.
I want to know what others think of this situation, I think its funny, just felt like sharing (not sure if K is trying to help me, or if she's trying to kill me)
scared of online interaction
How to get over that fear? After years of dwelling on imageboards and only interacting as an anonymous user I feel constant fear when talking to other people online. Owning an account makes me panic. Etc. Stuff like that. I am paranoid and I imagine catastrophe scenarios happening to me. I hate it. I wish I wasn't so weak. I'm the type of person to panic over a small hate comment, I know it's pathetic. It's funny because I've spent so many years on 4chan and the like and I feel that instead of building character it just traumatized me into fearing everyone. Please tell me there's a way out of this paranoid thinking loop. I want to be peaceful.
i cant control myself im so pathetic. i got mad over argument on internet and destroyed my apartment by hitting things and whatnot. this happens so fucking often nowdays. i cant control myself either i hit stuff or i cut myself. why i am like this…
I feel so mad for the mankind for not caring about the environment. Especially in developed and developing countries, people live off too well and they are too comfortable. People excuse their behavior that "its goverment's job not indivudual's" while its true goverment should do it, you cannot act like individual's impact doesn't matter. It does, you can't outsource your actions "but its not my job."
There is no good excuse for this much consumerism and bad choices. I understand that not everyone can go car-free, eat local vegan food or shop everything second-hand or be minimalistic and mindful BUT you can make better choices still even if you dont have the privilage or energy to go all in.
People are not even trying. A person who has lot allergies may need to consume for example chicken to get enough nutrition or person who lives far away might need to use car but you can still choose better. And I am annoyed that people don't. It makes extremely mad, it is unbearable.
My bf rejected a girl's requests to "study together" during after-school hours out of respect for my feelings and she got mad at him and called him/me fragile, implying her intentions weren't "romantic". I don't understand tho, he only refused politely and there was no reason to get mad over it then why did she get offended to the point of switching from polite to mean? I've been told the same before a bunch of time but I don't take it to heart and instead just respect the choice of the person
The guilt is unbearable
Anons I posted about a mutual friend to another female imageboard (you know the one) and I recently found out that they frequent that site. I feel bad because if they find the post they'll know it's me. I sent an email to the mod team asking to take my post down but no reply. I'm scared anons. What should I do?
He would rather play fetch with my dog for 3 hours than watch a movie with me.
us vs them (IMPOSTER amogus)
here's a random thought -
sometimes there are people in your "in-group" who use their in-group identity to get away with acting abusively. the problem may not be with the group identity itself, but the fact that the group enables abusive behavior solely because the person acting abusively is part of their group, or so they believe.
the problem with this is that by enabling an individual in their abusive behavior, the group is enabling the abusive behavior itself. so the person continues to act in that manner, and drags down the rest of the group in further conflict or regression, possibly even dividing their group by creating new conflict. the behavior doesn't get corrected, and any values derived from that behavior will result in cognitive dissonance/a decay in one's humanity.
i dunno why i felt compelled to say this but, it often seems like i am more angry at a behavior these days as opposed to an actual politically defined "group." there are people who think that, just because they share an identity with you, you'll enable their bad behavior and let them get away with things. ultimately i enjoy teamwork and HEALTHY competitivity over being pitted against people for no reason all the time.
PCOS has ruined my life
Been diagnosed since i was 16, and all it did was give me the worst fucking acne of my life, i grow hair on my face like a man and i never have motivation to do anything. everyone is talking about how lifestyle is the biggest factor or go on this or that medicine but im from a third world country with the most controlling mother who cannot wait to marry me off. how do i even cope with this?? will i ever look like those normal woman with nice legs skinny bodies and smooth skin or am i destined to grow thick beard hairs for life
I've never been catcalled. I'm pretty. Why?
People with motivation are blessed and privileged. No matter what background.
People who find this planet motivating nowadays are just stuck in a fantasy illusion someone built up around them all their lives. I'm seriously tired of hearing that theres something wrong with me because i never had that delusion from the beginning.
90% of the time work is some form of wageslavery that fucks you or amounts to 60 years of theft you never get back. Most people cannot even afford homes or childcare nowadays.
Only men truly benefit from work and have a fulfilling experience from it because they're bolstered and motivated by delusional male power fantasies and fantasies of patriarchal rape /burn it all capitalism. A fantasy thst disproportionately rewards them and celebrates them.
Women always end up getting nothing but hate and shit on when they attain real things in life that arent pregnancy. Or they stagnate in wage slavery. All because anythimg else would taking away from the male power fantasy. They're dragged down in a spotlight and destroyed by drama way more often. So we should have motivation to do what exactly ??????????????
When scrotes open their mouths about the "reward" of work this is the deepest vilest most dishonest lie they use.
Women who gain nothing from shitstain male delusion in real life do not share any of the same benefits nor motivation because they know they will be left behind or conned somewhere; dragged down or doxxed somewhere. they know theyll actually gain nothing from the hard work that only benefits if you if you're blessed with the horse shit male power fantasies to get you there and accepted. The males that don't have fantasy delusion also lose a staggering amount from work, the same way.
Why do we never call out this insane lie??
The worst possible thing about it to me is hearing that you can climb out of systematic psychological ruin/ depression/ passivity/ feminization/ through wage slavery. That anything related to work will get you out of a rut.
Moids are probably at their worst when they try to school you on how to operate and live more like them. They really deserve nothing more than knives in their eyes when they have the gall to open their mouths and school you about life, work and happiness.
Are the most pathetic moids of all the ones that supposedly have no motivation, since they could so easily get congratulated / taken
seriously? Or are they victim too? Either way I almost have no sympathy for them whatsoever lmao.
Why have we never ripped their throats out when they feed us this insane egregious bullshit?? This is the one lie that makes me go scorched earth and never want anything from a moid.
Tell me how women can stand moid company for 2 seconds when they're stubbornly defend the work lie until they're blue in the face?
Sure I want to work on my precious things and leave them in the dirt but I'll never a buy for a second that their "hard work and motivation" isn't just a byproduct of propped up male delusion that it will amount to anything.
If you actually read this far congratulations, the questions are genuine though.
stupid moid bf won’t stop looking at girls online
I found out my bf had been searching up girls on IG and saving photos of egirls on twitter after I’ve told him a million times that it makes me feel like shit. I’ve also found memes that he saved basically fetishizing girls like me and making fun of one of my past suicide attempts.
I feel so stupid for staying but I legitimately feel like nobody else would want me. I have no other friends and no money and I’d be completely alone if I didn’t have him even though I can’t fucking stand him. Im mentally ill as fuck and super mid and nobody really shows any interest in me.
It disgusts me that he’s saving pictures of what he wishes I looked like and doesn’t understand why it makes me upset. I fucking hate moids so much but I don't want to be completely alone.
A Random Letter To The FBI Agent Watching Me/US Government
I stumbled across some old posts of my journal and found a funny entry (looking back on it) dedicated to the "FBI agent" that was watching me. Obviously it was mostly tongue-in-cheek but it was kind of interesting to read back on.
Here is a thread dedicated to random letters you want to say to your government. For venting purposes!
(Sorry if this isn't the right board for this sort of thing :P)
Kill me kill me
I acted histrionic and ended my relationship with a man who has kids and a gf he lives with but he wants some sex cult thing but it’s all over now after like 5 years and i don’t know if I’m in the right or made the wrong decision. He ended things officially. I fucked up. Kill me.
why would you even want a relationship like what is the point of it?
Am I pick me or a bad person for this? I was in a band (I play guitar) with a friend since 2023, nothing ever happened between us and we were just friends, until something happened recently. He started having a girlfriend and I really didn't see a problem because we were simply seeing each other to talk for the project, but apparently it bothered her because she started to say false horrible things about me and saying them behind my back, then i see my friend had unfollowed me on Instagram and he was no longer responding to me for like 1 week. I spoke to him to find out what was happening but he only told me that his girlfriend didn't let him have female friends and he simply blocked me. I'm really angry about this because she acuses me false things with my other friends saying that i want to "steal her boyfriend". She blocked me also after that.
I am really angry because i do nothing wrong and i just wanted to create music.
I feel sad also because i know more cases like that.
Wanting to die
I often want to kill myself after getting gaslighted by other women online like there's literally no hope, women who are different always get punished and can't ever express their minds freely
Am I boned?
self loathing
Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with self hatred? I can't even function anymore because every single second of every single day I'm thinking about how much I hate myself or fantasizing about being someone else. I'm really at the end of my rope.
I’m tired of being lonely
I’m the most talkative of my friend group, I take care of everyone else’s issues and look out for all of them. I’m not seen. Nobody notices the work I put in just to help everyone else out.
All of my friends have someone to date, whether it’s a boy or a girl.
I can’t find myself being in love with anyone who wants me.
Every person who has had a crush on me has been rejected in which I never truly loved them. I love those who do not give me the effort I deserve, who treat me as something lower than them.
I’ve been quiet about my personal issues all my life, staying as a shut-in the entire summer without talking to anyone I know irl. I’m so lonely and it’s tiring. I cant romanticize this life.
My OCD is so bad I just paid $90 for a vet to tell me my dog is perfectly fine and extremely healthy for her age. I went in the car and cried cause I was so relieved.
How do you challenge or soothe yourself when you get obsessive thoughts?
What is actually wrong with you?
I often describe myself as a “femcel” to people I meet online/to people I detect to also be overly online. I don’t really see this as a negative/entitled term as an incel, but more I struggle with being a woman but don’t believe in becoming trans to cope with it.
What’s stopping you from looking/like behaving like a normal woman? Do people detect something off with you “quick”?
This is me:
> I didn’t really learn makeup as a teen and didn’t really bother until my early 20s. Although I know outside beauty is the main factor in how people judge you, I wish this wasn’t the case and I hate to wear it except on occasions I would feel uncomfortable NOT to wear it
> general sense of perpetual inferiority due to being the ugly duckling in my childhood
> no long lasting female friends, female friends I have had have only lasted a few months. I blame this on a masculine mentality/ autism and not being able to understand how to comfort upset women or fit in to their cliques. Most of my female friendships have ended in a harsh betrayal but I can’t say that’s a woman’s problem. Nowadays most “normie” or “quirky normie“ girl I avoid out of fear of being manipulated
> preference towards male friends. It’s the snake that eats its own as male friends, even when not actively pursuing you, assert a sense of ownership over you and feel betrayed if you dare live your own life. But they are also easier to talk to for obvious reasons if you can mask a small bit. They lure you in with a facade that they care about you as a person but if you don’t want to be their trophy gf, you’re nothing but a burden
> ironically an addiction to feeling wanted, but live my life friendless now for my own good
> substance abuse- many things and all my fault
> little connection to my family who are fucked up in the own family drama and the presence I have given them once/twice a year for the last 5 years has only made it worse for them
> undiagnosed autism that makes the socialisation aspect of work unbearable and I am shit at following instructions if it isn’t structured like a wikihow guide
Where has it all went wrong for you?
essay writing and absurdism
in most american schools, you will have to write an essay many, many times. i can distinctly remember how tedious english classes were in teaching kids how to write a "proper" essay, and that the way in which you communicate your idea/argument/whatever has to be both compelling to read, and logically cohesive. sometimes i feel like taking high school english is just a weird pipeline to creating ideologically radical manifesto writers.
even on the internet i see the remnants of high school english, because everything has to be about something "meaningful" and useful to society. very few people gravitate towards the idea of how absurd the whole process of finding "meaning" in everything is in the first place. realizing absurdism is uncomfortable for people to feel, and why is that? it's uncomfortable for me too frankly, and so i just keep waiting for someone or something to snap me out of it. does anyone feel the same?
anyways, i guess the whole point of this post is: do you think a /nosubject/ board benefits or harms imageboards? why or why not?
Reasons I should or shouldn't leave my bf...
>my boyfriend is in the military, conservative, and christian
>I sell acid and grow weed, am a Marxist, and atheist
so, lets begin at the… beginning shall we?
First of all, I'm dedicated to seeing the capitalist system fall apart. I encourage everyone I know to make income in a way that isnt taxable, and help them find ways to survive without being a slave to the system. I am dedicated to seeing all military become obsolete, solving world hunger, legalizing all drug use, doing something about the climate crisis, etc.
When as a conservative, he does not care about any of this. Usually when he speaks his opinions I am just fucking infuriated, and I hate the military so ofc I hate knowing he's in the military. The only good thing about it is that I find the thickheadedness that comes with being stupid enough to be a conservative to be cute.
Earlier I clarified for him that I don't support the military, I don't support capitalism, and I don't support Christianity, and just made sure he knows I AM completely dedicated to my beliefs and will never get a "real" job where I pay taxes because I feel its inherently wrong, because he suggested I find a mcjob instead of selling weed and acid. He kinda squirmed at me saying that but accepted it I think.
I just feel like its going to cause lots of problems down the road though. I love him. I just don't know if this is sustainable or I am setting myself up for lots of trouble down the road. He is really sweet though and it really shows how much he loves me that he's able to see past all our differences and but I wonder, if this could really continue working out forever…
My husband is doing everything he can for me to help me but I still want to scream at him.
thread for those with quiet bpd
hi girls. here’s a thread to vent/share your experiences with quiet bpd.
for me, i’m tired of feeling like an ocean. i’m tired of feeling everything so deeply all the time. i’m tired of never feeling happy, content, or at peace with myself. i’m tired of always feeling misunderstood. i’m tired of always looking for happiness through external means and never through my own presence. i’m tired of latching onto whoever or whatever i think can provide my happiness. i’m tired of looking to relationships to provide all my good feelings. i’m tired of feeling terribly threatened by the potential loss of any thing or person i think provides my happiness. i’m tired of loving people incapable of loving me back. i’m tired of how deeply i hate myself. i’m tired of consuming myself.
Why are most narcissistic parents a women
Is it because women suffer more in life? I have an abusive mother and like most of them she was obsessed with my physical looks and youth which makes sense cause aging is objectively horrible as a woman and our physical looks are really important part of our identity.
She literally hates me and has expectations of me which when I don't fulfill it makes her feel like the victim. Both of us can't do anything without it affecting the other one's emotions. It makes me feel filthy and enslaved, she abused me so much until it paralyzed me mentally as an autistic woman and it caused me to act in ways that made me get in trouble at my house constantly but I couldn't communicate that it's her fault but if I did I would feel bad cause then she would feel like a victim of me. We both are individuals and everyone has their individuality so since she hates me for existing I feel a constant guilt like I have to cater to her individuality but feel bad about mine. It literally can be called a reactionship what we have between us cause she is so emotionally affected by me and I'm by her mostly cause I have no choice. I can't communicate with her and ask her what's her problem cause she is not very intelligent plus she's neurotic and like I said very emotional about my existence. And my empathy for her causes me to feel shame like sorry I was born and don't act the way you want me and it was your duty to serve the child you made what can I fucking do about this conflict like wtf are humans supposed to do
Am I being weird?
So my long distant bf came and visited me for a month or so. While he was gone his sisters were always texting and calling, mostly cause he wasn’t responding very much. Then they like got on his WhatsApp and got my phone number which I feel is a breach of my privacy. It’s not the biggest deal and I’m not mad about it. But then they went on his Amazon.. he sometimes buys me things. I don’t ask him to he just does it cause he feels like it’s a way to provide for me. His dad literally had to tell them to mind their business about it. Now one of them has invited him to dinner and he’s pretty sure it’s gonna be about that and other stuff that deals with our relationship. I think his sisters are too involved and I think it’s kind of odd. I don’t have any siblings so maybe I’m being weird. I don’t know but I find it uncomfortable regardless.
Cheating
Share your experiences.
Has your SO flirted with other people, had an emotional affair or have they done something physical? Do you suspect they might be cheating on you?
Tell us
- What are the warning signs?
- How did you find out?
- Have they tried to deny it?
- How did it end?
- Do you hate them?
- How did you get over it?
If you have cheated on someone, feel free to put your input in here.
If you need support, post here as well.
antisocial
Does anyone else here feel like they hate everyone on the planet, like deep black hate, but you're still really polite and kind to people?
It's so weird, it's like, standing back as a whole, I am so disappointed by people. People in my life and people outside of it in general. But I also really strive to be kind to people, even when they don't deserve it. I get extremely upset if I upset anyone. I can't stand my mom but I run to comfort her when she's upset.
I don't have any friends at all. I have too high of standards and I'm offputting/weird so it's impossible. The people who do meet my standards avoid me like I am outputting some kind of repellent frequency. I seem to only attract grotesque autistic men for 'friends' who only want to talk about themselves, and I have to work to flick them away like a piece of tape stuck to me.
I feel like a fake. If I could isolate myself in a hut forever I would do it. I often just want to disappear. I don't want to die- I love reading and animals and existing, but I hate people. I often feel like I don't belong here. That I'm an alien or something. People don't like me, I don't like them, but I keep trying. I'm almost 30 years old and I have been feeling this way my entire life. It only gets more isolating the older I get.
I feel like I'm stuck as a black rock in a sea of white sand. Not special, just "wrong."
I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to be left alone forever.
feel like i'm going mad tbh
going insane going insane going insane!!!!! i'm doing nothing with my life just rotting in bed scrolling through forums and playing yaoi visual novels i swear i'm going to die alone. i have so much work piling up and i'm halfway through university but no jobs will hire me and i would rather die than go back to my own country but i also miss being in my childhood home. i'm basically balancing on a thread about to snap. i can't go to therapy cause insurance won't cover it. how the FUCK do i get out of this hole i've dug myself into ;;
Is shallow attraction worth anything?
Is shallow attraction worth anything?
Let's say someone falls in love with me for only my physical traits. Then is their love worthless? Because even if I were a complete psychopath, they would not know and probably not care. The entirety of my being except for my body would be something they had to deal with to fuck me or parade me around to their friends. Is such a kind of love worthless, or is it worth something?
Scrote brother
my brother is like a 3/10 objectively - balding, ugly, short, blasts andrew tate all day yet he consistently dates (uses) women way above his worth just by being overconfident. i resent him for it bc when youre a confident ugly asshole moid you just seem get away with it.
got rejected
LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO ONE LESS MOID IN MY LIFE (in reality i am in in severe pain)
Does my oneitis actually have any feelings for me?
Basically, I like this guy and frequently message him to indicate interest.
I always initiate the messages.
He is very detailed, lengthy and curated in his responses and we sometimes text for 1-2 hours but he never starts any with me. I don’t know if he is seeing anyone.
He sometimes might take 12+ hours to respond to an initial text but once we start talking we’ll speak for an hour+ back and forth. He has a job but no one ever really is that busy. He also encouraged me to text him if I want to reach out,
I started off a bit more professional asking about career but lately I’ve been getting more personal and he’s been responsive. Is he just being nice because he knows I like him? I think he knows I like him because why else would I be talking to him so much? He hearts my messages (if that means anything lmao).
How do I literally forget
I was sexually abused in a very horrible way and lost my innocence, but sometimes when I wake up from a very vivid dream, I forget everything that happened to me and I feel innocent and happy again, I can feel this "innocence" for hours until it all comes back to me. I want to forget permanently, I don't like being depressed anymore and I know I don't have to feel this way anymore, does anyone know much about this?
Experiences on growing up with an older brother?
To any you who grew up with older brothers: how did it affect you?
I’ve been trying to wrap my head around my own experience since it always seemed so isolated from others who didn’t. When I was younger I always wanted his approval so I would started “liking” everything he did, even when I didn’t really understand it. I pretended to like video games, the same youtubers, and the same anime as him, though I did enjoy anime, most of my interests were just his. Liking “girly” things made me think I wasn’t worthy enough so I always avoided those things though secretly I would engage in them. It just makes me feel like an impostor nowadays when I get into new stuff. And even now I find myself drifting towards “masculine” interests just to get attention because that’s how I’ve always been I guess. There’s a lot more like the fact that he used to hit me a lot, though I don’t remember the extent of it anymore, It always hurt. I still have a hard time relating to other girls and things that are normalized to talk about and things that aren’t. It’s a just lot of stuff that just adds up together and still marks who I am today, sometimes I wonder who I could have been or if there was another way. I’m just curious.
my best friend killed herself, and i was in love with her
i can't handle living, i just want to end it all but i'm too cowardly to off myself
/lcg/ - lescel general
lesbians who are involuntarily celibate, post anything under this thread relating to your celibacy.
————————————
If you don't know what to reply with, you can answer these greentexts
>what was the first femcel/lescel community you joined?
>talk and/or vent about your celibacy.
>any crushes?
>what is your definition of lescel, or any kind of involuntary celibate label
>when did you first discover you were a lescel?
> do you think there is any hope for you, romantically? if so, why? if not, why?
>rant or vent about homophobia
>how old are you?
>how did you discover CC?
>hobbies and/or interests?
i love this fucking cat
advice, please. i want a relationship but i am unwilling to date someone who watches porn. the thought of it disgusts me. is this a mentally ill unrealistic ideal or a reasonable boundary? i dont have any equivalent vice, i take good care of myself.
Really need some tips to give up on addictions, namely self-harm, porn and binge eating without seeking anyone's help.
Any advice in how to deal with loneliness?
I've been in a really toxic on and off friendship with a girl for the past two years and recently we've stop talking again. She's turned all of my other friends against me and now none of them talk to me except one childhood friend who I suspect had/has some sort of crush on me which makes me extremely uncomfortable. On top of that she's also really awkward and I have to do all of the talking (sometimes it feels as if I'm talking to a wall) . Although I appreciate her sticking around with me I feel like I have nobody who I can truly make a connection with.
Does anyone have any advice in how to cope with loneliness?
terminally alone
recently a girl quit at work who had only met me twice bc i had "off vibes" and its not the first time something like this has happened. i try hard to make friends but they always fuck me over or stop liking me or never even like me in the first place. i dont mean to be off putting. i dont know whats wrong with me. i see other autistic ppl like on tiktok have loads of friends but i am just offputting to everyone and i dont know how to change that. i was always the girl getting bullied in highschool and now that ive left, its the same things, pretty popular girls treat me like a freak once i open my mouth. how do i be popular. how do i be normal
im so insecure its insane
nonas.. i need help
im so insecure that literally hearing a moid say "i think we all can agree that boobs are great"
like idk why im like this… i couldnt finish the fucking video i literally fucking cried over it what do i do
Have you ever lost a best friend?
My best friend in the whole world just broke off our friendship and idk what to do with myself. I am heartbroken and devastated to my core but as a coping mechanism I think my brain has entered a state of shock — similar to when someone gets shot/stabbed and they don’t realize it until the severe pain kicks in later — I will likely have a severe mental breakdown pretty soon but until then, have you ever lost a bff ? If so, how did you cope with it ? I feel rly scared right now but I know I need to prepare myself for the pain that is to come once this finally hits me……
Honestly I'm just such a fucking loser the only place I feel comfortable communicating is on anonymous imageboards, where I actually feel equal to everyone else. At least the boards make me feel valued. I have no mental resources to deal with the social warfare and people attacking my person. I don't even care about myself at this point after all this treatment throughout my life.
someone else suffering the consequences of an abusive/dysfunctional family?
My mother was very violent and not very affectionate with me, and I never had a father because he was a selfish drug addict like her. So my mother resents me because my dad si a bastard. I can't understand people who say that a rough childhood makes you stronger, I feel extremely weak, insecure, I had suicide attempts and depression. Sometimes I have violent flashbacks (physical, psychological, sexual violence and the way he cruelty talked about my chubby childish body) these memories of my childhood keep me awake and the thoughts about the future are increasingly hopeless. I hate my mother, maybe not as much as she hates me but the rejection is definitely reciprocal. I understand that I could be telling this to a psychologist but he is only going to pat me on the back, when really what would help me is to listen to people who experienced similar things.
What are some genuine critique points your bf has?
How do you work on yourself?
What do you think does he like best about you?
What would your dream job be if money/time didn’t matter?
I’ve always wanted to own an arcade-restaurant kind of establishment like Dave and busters. I don’t have the money, skills, or confidence to do something like start my own business. I still think about it all the time though. On top of that everything is just too damn expensive these days to do whatever you want as a job
Traumatized by an online coquette
I used to follow this girl online when I was in my middle and late teens, I was obsessed with her, her aesthetic and her overall vibe until at 17 she started dating a moid in his middle/late 30s and it started affecting my mind more and more. She posted a lot of content with him and she's into ddlg and all that stuff and calls him daddy, probably some of you know who I'm talking about and since Lana Del Rey herself followed her on instagram last year I feel even bigger resentment towards LDR. Cause I hate age gaps so much, I wanted purity and not old pedo moids involved in my girls world, I feel so greypilled(to not use the incel word) and I developed an obsession with the fact that men want to fuck teenage girls and lost all hope. And yes I'm retarded but I'm just so bitter, I used to fantasize about them all disappearing from life especially the ugly old moid pedoids.
i will probably be alone forever. im from small country (~5 million people) so the amount of lesbians and bi women is already very low itself. on top of this im short, ugly and extremely shy. there is literally no one out there for me, all the girls either mog me or im not their type.
i stalked some ppl i know from school or camps (which some of were lgbt) and they all seem to have had female x female related in the past like they have found someone from irl to date. teen romance is something i will never experience and their pure joy and whatnot.
Is this image legit? I avoid media with sex scenes.
No spaces for young people anymore
I have been realizing recently that in my midsize city there are very few third spaces available. It's not that there are not places you cannot go to spend your time - there are - but since there are so few young people, those spaces have to targer really broad demographics, so they either end up being very basic so everyone can enjoy them or target multiple age groups. What this results in is that wherever you go, you will spend your time either with old(er) people or do an activity you are not particularly into. People nowadays more so than in the past just spend their time at home so this makes the problem even worse. There are few young people to begin with, many opt out by default cause they would rather sit at home, another large group also opts out cause nothing interesting happens. This creates a feedback loop and leads to cities where you will never see a person <25 thats is not located close to a school, university or a bus station.
How do I stop being a fixer?
It's very annoying when most of the time I am either ignored and they keep repeating the same thing later, or I end up having to literally apologize for genuinely trying to help some one. I just don't understand. I hate helping people but I keep getting triggered to help them.
People talk to me about their problems and some of them actually get angry at me and stop talking to me when I suggest something they could do about it and it makes no sense.
How to deal with revulsion towards males?
I'm now in my 30s. Not much has changed. Does anyone else experience the same problem?
In your 30s your supposed to stop thinking they're worthless and stop generalizing. But I never feel better about them either. Stalking really ruined my perception of men and not sure what to do with this feeling. Where do you put it when you're older? It has no place to go. I'm really unforgiving and disgusted at them when I really consider them, and what I genuinely think of them. What even is the solution to that ?
My revulsion consumes me when I really acknowledge how I feel about them, so usually I do NOT think about them, or anything at all. Usually I pay attention to other things. I put it in the back of my mind and try to live apart. But I also honestly live for the satisfaction of living completely apart.
But it doesn't feel right to just put it aside and fester either. I don't even know how I live frankly. I mean it's unbelievable. Shocking, living in a world where if your really honest with yourself, you want to exist nowhere.
Pretty much summarizes my whole existence. Most of the world is disgusting to me and I don't want to think too deeply about any of it or I'll probably have a mental crisis. I want to pretend like I'm not here at all. I work nights, I go home, I'm gone, everything's gone.
I mean it beats being angry all the time. When I'm truly honest with myself i'm still really fucking FURIOUS about how my mind was fucked with, though. It's def still festering in the back of my mind. Just what are you supposed to do with this ? Therapy is a joke, it never changes any of this.
Lacry, friend, I miss you. Come back
Why do shitty men struggle to understand I don't care?
Has anyone else been more or less plagued by the feeling of wanting to exit society ever since they can remember? Of being fully conscious of how shitty it is to have to interact with and expected to look for anything in men thry feel safe with??
After being stalked I snapped? went from 0 to 100 saying I'm done with these faggots. Btw I'm 35. This is not teenage delirium. I'm posting this on cc because thats obvious
Does anyone else just give up explaining why they do what they do?
Like I don't even acknowledge mens bs observations or concerns or opinions. I just want to live apart. How is it possible they still occasionally dig so deep for a way to nag me in the bus or at my job? Like I'm still listening to anything they say? How have they not gotten it through their heads
that they're dead to me yet??? Like what more do I have to do ?? What do you have to do to make them understand ? Why do men struggle to understand I don't give a flying fuck and daydream about gouging their eyes out ?
I'm 27. I did it all, had a job I wanted,I feel like it represent me. I have a bf I wanted, it feels like he represents me too.
The truth is I'm on autopilot and am an empty shell. No real friend, no real happieness. Feels like nothing is real in general. I dont see any way in which I van improve this and stop feeling like a shell. When I try to talk about it, all I get is "adolthood".
Was he actually unlovable?
Idk I thought he wasn't too bad until getting addicted to the online game and then somewhat recovered.
How would you have fixed him?
>be me
>last year of highschool
>tend to make jokes that go ‘too far’ in the eyes of my friends
>get ignored by them because of that
>in gym
>my friends are laughing with each other on the other side of the court
>clearly ignoring me for god knows what
>I’m upset because I do literally everything to make them happy
Am I unloveable?
Does anyone else feel like they can't bear men?
i’m so fucking sick of trying to befriend a male i think i’m bisexual, i only have dated girls and have not felt romantic attraction towards men, so i have a HUGE preference for women (i’d say 90/10).
i’m at a weird point where whenever i make a male friend, they end up liking me or romantically or sexually, and it’s just tiring me so much? sometimes it feels like they fetishize me just because i used to call myself a lesbian…
i feel so objectified and feel like all of their bonds are just because they’re desperate for pussy in general. i’m genuinely so tired and resented towards them. i feel like i’m completely unable of befriending anyone who isn’t afab, and it’s affecting me more than i want it to.
last year, i tried making two male friends (of my age) but they both ended up liking me? and one of them was a whole ass creep who thought i wouldn’t know that he lied about a lot of things just to appear cooler and for me to like him (he even said he used crystalcafe without knowing what was it), also i’m genuinely like a 5/10, with four points being from personality and likes…
even if so, i don’t deserve being object of their desires, it makes me so uncomfortable that i want to throw up. it also affects me because, as i stated, i think i’m bisexual, but i’m hugely confused by my own identity/label, i just don’t call myself a lesbian bc i feel that it isn’t right to say that i could NEVER like a man, after all, maybe someday i end up loving one but right now all i can feel is fucking disgust and rage.
i have two male friends, although i can’t stand one of them, and the other one is an aroace guy who is like an asexuated being on my eyes. I still feel like if he ever started liking me i would throw up until i die.
ty if anyone read my rant! does any of you have a similar experience? what should i do? after all, people keep telling me i have to still have relationships with them
How do I find female friends my age? (18-24 group). I'm very anxious and also hate 99% of people
Having children with men
Do your Nigel wants to have children with you? I noticed that in a lot of long term relationship where the moid didn't propose yet, the man keeps leading the woman on cause he's "not ready yet". But I've realized that most of these time wasters would have children with a woman if they could abandon her and the child later on. They are scared of losing their freedom.
female friends
how do I make female friends?
it's so hard for me to connect with people, it feels like I'm speaking an entirely different language than everyone else. I've always had trouble making friends, especially other women.
the few friends I do have now are guys from high school or online. as we get older it seems to get less socially acceptable to be friends of opposite gender. I just want a girl friend that I can hang out with and be close to.
I don't get what I'm doing wrong.
>college 3rd year, same as bf
>been dating for over a year, love each other deeply
>since we're seniors next year, we want to rent a place together
>i keep dreaming abt it and share it with him
>he's excited too
>but i have hesitations
>it feels like a big step, and i'm not sure if i'm okay with not having a room of my own
>also he's my first relationship but he had many partners before, so i know he may be more chill with it
>i told him i have hesitations yesterday
>oh boy does he take it bad
>tells me i gave him false hope, i should've told him before if i didn't want it
>but i do want it
why doesn't he just get it? what can i tell him?
Cutting off my best friend
I’ve decided to cut off my best friend of 8 years as it’s just a one sided friendship.
>She owes me £400, always puts off paying me when her student loan comes in
>Never wants to do anything, the scarce plans we make she always flakes out last minute
>Always with her new bf
>Lies about being ill when I want to make plans but then see on her story she’s out with her bf
>Doesn’t bother to make plans
>Didn’t wish me happy birthday
>Lives in her uni town but never bothers to invite me up
>Complains she doesn’t have any more but quits any job she gets (I’ve landed her a few jobs and she doesn’t even turn up for the interview)
It feels like a proper break up :(( I also don’t have any other friends so I feel like that’s why I kept her so long. Just looking for advice if anyone else has had a friendship break up or tips on making new friends in your 20s
i made the choice to be relationshipless and virgin for life at the age of 12. im now 19 so not that old but i still agree with it.
the problem i have is that moids make me feel very bad about my choice how im selfish and self-centered or they straight up refuse to believe and say you are just waiting for chad or you aren't virgin. this is very hurtful to me because virginity is very important for me and i dont wanna date. "kissless huggless virgin by choice"
one comment especially from older guy was super hurtful "if you were prettier you would have lost it in high school" it made me feel very ugly. i know im not the prettiest but i try to take care of my looks minimally (basic skincare, clean diet). i know i shouldnt let these comments get me but i feel disgusting and worthless woman. like i have no purpose or meaning in all peoples eyes.
then some people saying im too young to know or whatnot but i dont think so. i have never wanted or tried to pursue relationship, i have never had crush on anyone or really care about human connections (friendless by choice) so i dont think i will change my mind.
i just feel upset by all the negativity whatever i say this "you are ugly that's why" "your personality is awful thats why" "dont worry some moid will fuck you" and whatnot. its humiliating.
but i dont truly want human connections. i enjoy being alone. always have. idk why the comments hurt so much but its everywhere. whatever i open twitter, youtube, imageboard there it is shaming women who don't seek relationship, shaming virgin women (she isnt actually virgin all women are whores - some moid). tiresome
is there another woman
>bf and i together for almost 2 years
>bf is a porn addict so there were lots of trust issues
>bf ends things w me on the 19th of december
>says he wants to "grow and mature" and "live on his own" and "get a better job"
>he has nowhere to go, parents are staying with grandparents
>between the middle of december and now, bf visits spot in hometown he "sits in his car and thinks"
>spot is a literal house
>think nothing of it bc there is a bunch of trees by said house so maybe its a spot in the woods he likes
>now ex bf goes there two to three times in this time frame
>tonight, nye, comes
>ex bf says hes going to a concert in a big city about an hour away from where we live with some coworkers
>still have ex bf's location on
>he drives south, away from city which said concert is at
>drives to the special spot that is, again, someones house
>is there for a few minutes, leaves
>proceeds to drive to city for concert
gyns, is there another woman? there is no feasible way this man can lie to me about this. why drive the opposite direction of where you should be going if not to pick someone up? he cant say its a coworker because he said that spot is just somewhere he sits and thinks. his words. he couldnt of just stopped there for a few minutes to do something random because he stopped at a gas station a few minutes down that same road. i have to live with this man for another four months because his retarded ass didnt have a backup plan for moving out. ive sobbed over this man for the last two weeks.
Yes, i am crazy
drunk on nye and trying to feel better about myself
I need to get into grad school because if i have a masters degree people will take me semi-seriously. Right now no one takes me seriously. The only people who ever take me seriously are people in academia. I want to be a mother, and have children, and educate my children, but who knows if they will take me seriously. If i have a masters degree at least i can say hey i have a masters degree. I feel like im inquisitive. But more so im ambitious, i take control of the things i want in life. Fuck im employed. Which is more than these people can say. Im angry and upset. But its new years. Ome day i will write a book about how sad i feel. I will not kill myself. I will channel my energy into something great. But i need a masters degree. I have never had anyone in my family obtain higer education. None of my friends have obtained higher education. In fact, im genuinely the first person in my circle to appeal to higher education. But no one cares. Men will sit and sit and discuss the philosophy theyve read and think theyre the smartest person in the room simply because they can interrupt text that interests them. Guess what? So can everyone. You find anyone with a slight interest in something and they read up on it they can interpret textual evidence on it. Your not special because you can comprehend german philosophers. The same reason im not special for interupttong genesis. I am not stupid. Everyone wants to percieve me as stupid but im fucking not, im at least accomplishing things, im gonna graduate on time, i make connetions with people, i am trying to get proof that i am smart. And i am younger than them. Fuck you for not valueing my opinon. Fuck you for not listeninf when i have things to say.
Battling seasonal depression
Every year, around this time, I go through a seasonal depression. It's also the anniversary of something that's very hard for me. How do I cope with this?
pet grief
my cat just died, my first ever pet. I thought I'd have longer with him since cats can live into their twenties, but he was only 14.
I feel really lost without him, the house is too quiet.
It was a very sudden death as well. He had been himself, acting completely normal, then just died. The vet suspects cardiac arrest from a blood clot.
I just want him back nonas.
Have any of you coped with pet grief before? How long does it take to start feeling better?
I decided to sell few books on internet via second hand platform. So I made a deal with one woman who wanted to buy two books, and we met hour ago. She bought them and all went well except I couldn't say a word to her. I stand there just using body language but no word come out of my mouth. I just couldn't say anything.
This happens every time I see a person I don't know, my ability to speak goes away. I just cant say a single word before I have met the person at least few times. I am so tired of this. Now I am worried that she gives me bad review because I didn't say a word and no one will buy the other stuff anymore. I don't know.
Why I am not able to say anything? What is wrong? I trained at home for multiple times what I will say and how, but nothing come out. It's depressing.
I think I'll be single forever
I'm 20 and I've been single my whole life. I've never had a problem with it but I wonder if I really prefer being single or if it's just what I know. In any case, I'm so far behind my peers in relationship experience that I feel there's no point trying. I'd just embarrass myself. But it might feel nice to know that somebody wants me and chooses to love me…
Good hobbies for making friends
The pandemic happened to line up with me starting uni, and now I’m a grad student with no social life. It’s become so difficult to socialize without spaghetti falling out of my pocket. Do any of you guys have hobbies that allow you to make new friends? I’d prefer hobbies that are more physical, since most of my current hobbies enable my shut in behavior. I’d also appreciate any advice on opening up socially!
>Started going to therapy three months ago when my boyfriend broke up with me.
>I look like a middle class Stacey but I grew up in a really white trash family and didn’t have the best time growing up
>it always genuinely shocks people when I tell them stuff about my childhood
>anyways my new therapist (my other one is on maternity leave) is gonna make sure I get an actual evaluation for ADHD.
>she thinks I have borderline as well but she doesn’t wanna rush into that diagnosis since women tend be overly diagnosed
What’s your latest diagnosis?
I wish I was male but I am not transgender. I kind of like being a girl but I feel like I would get more out of life if I was male and overall be happier. In my dreams I am a tall smart provider with wife and kids in the countryside. I would take care of the kiddos and wife, protect them and teaching them things like fishing, wood craft and hunting. I would remember all details about her and the kids and suprise her with flowers and chocolate from time to time or maybe bake something for her. Treat her well. For the kids I would give masculine but father-like presence. I dont know how to explain. Even if I didn't have family I would still like to be male more. I just can't stop dreaming and thinking about this. Today at shower I thought weird by looking at my body, I should have flat cheast and penis but I have neither. I act like a moid on internet and no one has question me not being a moid yet during these years. I know its kind of wrong towards my internet friends but I can't stop.
Anyone here scrote-brained too? I get constantly called moid in female imageboards and i feel like i don't fit in alongside other women, not even tomboys and such even though i want to. The only type of women i felt similar to were specific rude turbo autistic ones. This struggle has followed me throughout most of my life.
How to stop being a loser neet
I am 22, autistic, and I have basically wasted my entire teen years being a loser with no friends who stays inside and stays online 14+ hours a day. I have no online friends either, so I’m not even talking to people during those 14 hours.
I’ve lived like this so long I don’t even know how to start getting out. I have no job skills, only a high school diploma, and I also have fibromyalgia so I can’t even work simple ass jobs like cashier or fast food, jobs that I’ve seen 14 year olds get.
I don’t even know how to make internet friends. I have tried, but when I reach out, they either drop me cause I’m boring or men start flirting with me cause I’m a girl on the internet. I never return the feeling cause lesbian.
I don’t want to waste my 20s the same way. I just want one friend, one single friend. I’ll tolerate any amount of toxicity, I don’t even care if they call me slurs and put me down, I just want…any contact with someone outside my family at all. How do I get out of this?
gooning and moid degeneracy
i have recently gotten into the gooning rabbithole and im so disgusted and sick. i genuinely feel like killing myself. this is real life, not just a bad dream.
i have reason to suspect my ex moid that i was in love with (a disgusting, porn addict, bisexual, twinkfucker, sexually exploitative, incel piece of shit) was a gooner. not only that, i believe he had real life sessions and chats with at least one other guy where they did this shit together.
i haven't talked to him in 3 years, i can only imagine how fucking worse he has gotten.
keep all the insults to yourselves, i have already thought them myself. i was 17 and a fucking idiot. today i wouldn't touch this "person" with a 10 foot pole. i just wish i could go back in time and have nothing to do with him.
but anyway, the problem is that he used to coerce me into sending nudes. that's my fear. that he still has them and does that disgusting shit… my god, that haunts me. those can be around forever. they can be put online. they can be photoshopped, deepfaked, and who knows what other abominations that they will come up with in the future. not even death could free me if that's the case. at least in the past, women used to have an husband. they could get mistreated, beaten, sexually abused, raped. but that's it. they eventually died, and nothing is left of them, not even bones. they were free eventually.
today, not even death could free us. men will sexualize that too. men jerk off to gore and torture and pictures of dead women. they could probably jerk off to this very post and the fact that i feel like shit about it. have i genuinely gone insane? is this a normal way of thinking? im so self aware all the time and paranoid that something im doing might be a fetish and getting off some moid watching. it's actually affecting me, i can't live like this.
i just wanna end it but then i think how selfish that is. that 20 years from now girls will be born against their will, and subjected to this and more, as it gets even worse. who in 2008 could have predicted the normalization of porn watching for all moids in 2013-ish? who in 2013 could have predicted deep fakes, ai, gooning, and all current degeneracy of 2020's? what society will girls in the next generations live in? i know im supposed to fight for them but im weak.
does anyone else just want to commit suicide just because? There's nothing wrong with my life, im young and have a good future ahead of me. But I just want to end it all and I don't know why
I am tired of living in a shell I can’t help but see as disgusting
That’s it. I’m fat. Not obese, moderately overweight, but enough to come across as chubby. Every time I wake up I feel that I must do my best to hide and disguise my physical being. And I can’t even bring myself to think like normie “body positivity” activists. I come across as disgusting to myself.
I’m not encouraging ana, it’s horrifying (I’ve nearly lost a close friend to it) but I feel like tearing myself apart every time I fail at being at a calorie deficit. Why do I have so little will. Why was cursed to forever exist in a cloud of shame. Why must I scrap for every ounce of self-satisfaction every day. Do thin people not understand that the levity with which they walk through the world would be a dream come true for me. Do they not understand how it hurts.
I don't think I can have a relationship again. I have two exes (one was a closet faggot who took advantage of my innocence because i was 13 years old and he 16) and made fun of me with his friends. Now he became a disgusting tranny. My second ex abandoned me to go with a girl from the internet that he doesn't know in real life when we were almost planning to live together, now he probably lives locked in his room in front of a computer talking to a minor girl that he doesn't know in real life. Little by little my confidence and desire to talk to men decreased too much, recently I wanted to have a relationship with a friend (he was very sweet and kind) but i break with him when he told me that he is addicted to cnc porn, I really felt too disgusted by that and I walked away. I don't know what to do, I really want to trust them again but i can't handle my bad luck.
I hate him.
I hate him.
I hate him.
I hate how he's had sex with other girls before me.
I hate how he's even gotten an STD before.
I hate how he downplays his sexual past even though it's fucking clear that he's a whore and he wants to pretend that he isn't.
I hate how he's the only option I have now to have someone or else I'd be sentenced to loneliness, eternal crippling loneliness where I'd be contemplating suicide everyday until I eventually do it.
I hate how I'm not a Stacy that could get any guy she wants.
I hate him.
I hate him.
I hate him.
Should I breakup with bf
So I'm gonna keep it simple, I'm pretty ugly, been bullied my entire life for it, whatever, I got a pretty thick skin because of it; now the thing is my first and current bf of 1 month is both good looking and popular at uni and the amount of shit he's getting for dating me is really starting to get to me, I'm thinking of just breaking up with him; I mean, I don't even know what to do when it happens? I can't just tell him to cut off everybody that makes a snarky comment because he would have to drop like 50% of people at school; plus it's making me feel like shit… not because I'm hurt or anything but because those comments and gossip are directed at him; I already caught myself avoiding him at school to prevent the stupid jokes and I wonder if I should just do it
Vent thread
Old thread hit the limit
>>100201
Tell us about your problems, nona
I shouldn’t have told him?
So I have had a crush on a guy in my friend group for about a year now but haven’t acted on it because he has had a gf the whole time and I feel like an asshole. Things got really rocky with them for awhile and I started to hangout with him more. It got better but everyone can still tell he’s not happy. Him and I are(were?) really close friends and sometimes I felt like maybe he felt the same way about me as I did him. So finally I got drunk as fuck yesterday and told him that I’ve had a crush on him for a hot second and it’s really stupid but I had to get it out of my system. He said “I don’t think it’s stupid” and then I said “you don’t think it’s stupid?”… and then my friend walks in and the conversation ends. I apologized later after he left and he said that we should talk about it in person and he’s glad I told him. I have no fucking clue what this means I’m assuming it means I need to not but it’s winter break and now I can’t know until January. I feel like I’m gonna explode. Hopefully I’ll forget about it but I don’t think that’s gonna happen.
What are giant red flags to you
here are mine
>plays total war or paradox games
this can be explained by itself
>does roids
i have personal experience with this
i feel like i'm rotting away
i am just tired of existing. i feel so unmotivated.
Med school breakdown
>always been a /hum/ person, especially interested in languages and movies
>get convinced to go into med school cause humanities have an awful job market
>absolutely disinterested in the field, all the subjects are boring to me and I do the bare minimum. I do scrape by but cannot ever help any classmate with school stuff cause frankly I have no idea I just luck my way through the exams
>have nothing in common with the people, i'm actually fairly extroverted but everyone here is a shut-in whose interests revolve around natural sciences or sports.
>the only other person I me that I really clicked with on a deeper level got kicked out because they didn't pass a subject that I pulled through luck
>all my HS friends left to different cities with a bigger social life and have since found new circles
>slowly go from a funny and extroverted person to being constantly irritated and aloof
>keep stirring up pointless drama with my few friends there over trivial stuff because I am so irritated that anything sets me off
>spend the majority of my free time complaining, either to others or just to myself in my head. It's reached such a low that I even attend church to complain to the pastor there occasionally.
>start struggling to come up with reasons to go to school, am constantly late, sometimes even almost an hour despite living within walking distance
>start vaping and smoking to cope
>start drinking before classes to make my time there less unpleasant
>recently started doing xanax in my spare time to help me cope
>know that even if I were to drop out/if I were booted, I would just come back in a year or two max
I can't say when I will reach the bottom but I can already tell it is gonna be a deep place.
Relationship General #3
Questions, experiences, advice, venting, about romance, love, potential partners.
Old thread reached bump limit: >>84469
How can I really improve my self-esteem?
This year I made an effort to improve, I lost weight, I learned to play guitar and piano, I improved a lot in my art.
I don't understand why I still feel like garbage. Maybe it's because of my abusive mother, no matter how much I want to ignore the memories I have of her, they are still there. Sometimes I feel like something is deeply wrong with me or maybe i am stupid or crazy.
toxic clinginess and how to cure myself of it
whenever a friend or SO tells me that they have to go or are about to go to sleep to end the convo, and I see they're still active, it really infuriates me and I obsess about it and wonder if there's something wrong with me and watch to see how long they stay active etc.
But I just realized how toxic this is. I have lots of emotional problems and used to use this to justify this behavior but I cant. Its beginning to show an underlying issue, which is that in my insecurity, I need to be shown attention all the time and never let someone I care about do their own thing for too long because I start to fear that they now hate me or are about to leave me etc.
And really, why its so toxic is because Im basically denying these people the right to have lives or interests outside of me. As a mental/emotional exercise lately, I'm going to try to just let them be, not obsess over it when I see something like this, and trust them sometimes. Has anyone else with this problem found a reliable way to work through it?
life is so pointless
im 22 and started a full time adult job and i feel so lonely and devoid of any purpose that I genuinely don’t know how people continue to live every day. i have a couple of friends but i feel so lonely. i literally went to a female friend making event today and felt useless because I feel like can’t connect with other women or anyone for that matter because what the fuck do people even talk about!! last year I lived in Japan and had a group of friends who were kinda autistic too which was nice and even being alone there felt fine and I could do fun stuff and I regret moving back here but now there’s nothing I can do and I’m stuck renting my stupid flat for the next year. I can’t even go on walks at night anymore since it’s not safe here
I don't understand my ex bf,i am really obsessed with him because i have my first time with him and we date like for 2 years. I am not fat or ugly and we share hobbies and i meet all his family.
But,he left me for a girl from the internet who is from another country and probably he lives locked in his room right now taking with a stranger.
I don't understand him,this really hurt me and i don't know what to do. I feel used like a object.
He always call me a "crazy bitch" when i try to talk with him.
think my roommate hates me
I'm in college so we share a room. She's meek in tone but puts on this fake deep voice when around her voice. I definitely think there might be things she is not happy with living with me but she never addressed it but I think is snarky with her friends, with whom she's loud and opinionated.
For example, I leave the light on while sleeping because I don't enjoy sleeping in the dark. However, it is in the direction of her bed. I assume this bothers her but she never says anything. I also used up her paper towels because she's rarely home but I did replace them. Living with non confrontational people makes me anxious.
What do I do?
i hate being an autist i wish i was a normal woman
i don't fit in with normal women with conventionally feminine hobbies. most people with my hobbies are gross moids who either don't want a girl around or treat me like a sex object. i wish there were more women like me or that i was just like normal women. i wish i wasn't a neet loner with no meaningful social life.
why do autist scrotes get a loneliness epidemic that everyone cares about but we don't??
I am utterly repulsed by people who take their obsessions way too far. The kind of person who has a whole room full of figurines or people who buy a blanket with the verses of a shitty romance novel stitched into it. I knew someone who threw a themed party with balloons with the actor's faces on them to celebrate their sister watching a boring Chinese bl drama with her. I know, I know, just let people enjoy things. But I can't stop cringing when people show off this stuff to me. I get having a shirt or poster of something you like, but I can't understand all this nonsense. I feel like an alien talking to women my age who haven't matured past middle school, out here bragging about what Harry Potter house they're in.
How to stop getting pissed off?
>be me
>moid says that women are sensitive and only dress up and spray perfume for moids
>starts making fun of my name and says that girls names are stupid
>says that he doesn’t want a daughter because they’re women
>after he blatantly states he hates women
>same moid that gets mad at me for saying he wore the same shirt twice in a row (I said this a week ago, he hasn’t let it go.)
How do I stop getting pissed off at these small things? I know moids are like this, it just hurts to experience it.
That damn book
This one hits a bit too close, this isn't a comfortable read.
Which book have you read to dive into the feels?
i have no friends
im in my last year of sixth form and i genuinely have no friends at all. i feel like i missed the chance to actually socialise and make friends because my attendance last year was really crappy and i was never like super upset about my lack of friends until yesterday lol. like it’s just the fact that everyone around me has people they can talk to and confide in but i don’t have anyone and it sucks so bad. i tried making friends a bit last year and i think i was pretty good friends with this one guy and he even followed me on instagram and we talked for a while (like to the point where i could confidently call him my friend) but whenever i saw him irl at school he’d just ignore me unless i said hi to him first. now he won’t even make eye contact with me which is insane because i don’t get how you can be friends with someone and then turn around and ignore them the next day but oh well. also i have to go outside every time i have a free period because im really paranoid about what people think about me being alone all the time. i feel like im content with having no friends most of the time but there’s just times when i get so lonely i feel ill. also it doesn’t help that im terrible at making small talk with people because like there have been times when people at school have approached me but they never talk to me for like more than a day because i always end up saying the wrong things… is it over for me?
friends
how do you find friends when you have no hobbies?
I don't like cursing but all the men in my life think it's a masculine trait to include curses as an adjective to everything. After going through an entire childhood of my father verbally abusing others and myself, I really can't stand it.
Being emotionally dependent as a woman is the worst thing in the world. I wish I could get over it but it's so hard for me with the lack of love in my childhood. All men disappoint me, they are all superficial. For example, if you are a bitch but ugly they see you as a psychopath but if you are pretty they forgive you even the most horrible thing. When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend he started sending me messages telling me that he was meeting other girls prettier than me (during that time I was a bit plump) and he was really fat but for some reason he thought he was a 10/10 and that helped him to find another girl.All men end up hurting me,they demand perfection but not with themselves.
How man can have this high self steem even if they are a fat loser?
Anyone else with very low libido? It surprises me how many months I can go without having any sexual desire, not even a single thought. I'm always drawing, playing the guitar or reading. I don't think it's a bad thing but I still feel a little unwanted or maybe abnormal.
My mental health is getting worse and I constantly live in horrible memories. To begin, I think I should tell about my dysfunctional childhood: an alcoholic father who abandoned me and a violent mother. I have many memories of my mother insulting/hitting me that torment me. All of this made me a fairly depressed person from an early age and the early behavior of emotional dependence in my teenage years. My first relationship was when I was 15 and I was very happy, suddenly I had someone who I loved too much and made me forget my traumas. I can admit that this boy was like a father figure to me, but sadly he ended up cheating on me and then abandoned me for someone else. What happened left me in a very horrible depression at the age of 16: I began to start cutting myself and everything got worse to the point that I began to feel an irresistible hatred towards him, I began to send him insults in order to make him feel bad for what he did. I regret acting that way too much and I feel like a horrible person for some reason. For his part, he never felt guilty for cheat on me. I am currently 18 years old and I am still depressed about this and it got worse when I found out that he thinks I am a psychopath. I feel that this event marked me too much and I am currently in a very strong depression, I tried to commit suicide.
Idk,maybe similar stories can help me because i feel extremely guilt for this. Currently i am trying to portray this with art (i draw,write and play the guitar) but sometimes it doesnt help me very much.
Bad weather friends
We all know about fairweather friends, but what about the opposite? I have a friend (irl) who thrives on taking care of people and as a result is constantly overwhelmed with everything. I try not to bother her when I'm dealing with anything so as to not add to her load, but I noticed that she's never as interested in me as when some shit is up. And I'm the same way, if someone's about to break up their relationship or dealing with drama I'm way more motivated to talk to them compared to receiving good news and yass kweening them. Why are we like that
My sister is bipolar
And I can’t take it anymore. We live together since she can’t live alone and she doesn’t want to live with my parents. Every days I must cheer her up, or calm her down because she act crazy. Yesterday she send me a suicide letter on snap so I had to call 911 and now she is in the hospital. It should make me feel better but I feel nervous because I have no contact with her. When I’m with her I’m miserable, but when we’re apart I’m miserable too. What should I do ? I’m just sick of it, I feel so anxious and bad all the time because of her. Sometimes I hate her, even if I know it’s not her fault, and I hate myself for it
should I give a new relationship a try?
I recently met a girl off a dating app, and things are going surprisingly well. things could get serious
the problem is that I’m terminally in love with/obsessed with/limerent for my ex gf who I dated years ago but am still friends with. I broke up with her due to my own mental illness and her parents finding out about our relationship. sometimes I feel like my ex still has feelings for me too, but that could just be delusion. she has a bf now and her family did not accept her being gay. I’m torn on whether I should try to move on or not
I like the new girl, but my feelings aren’t quite there yet. I’ve known my ex for most of my life, so we have a deep connection. it’s unfair to compare, but I can’t help it
I want love, so badly. and I’m afraid if I wait around for my ex, it may never come. but if I get serious with the new girl, what if I miss my chance to get my ex back? if I do commit to the new girl, I’ll commit fr and distance myself from my ex. I’m not a cheater
i think im actually just so fucking retarded. i hate the way i behave like everything i do is so offputting and wrong. i've always thought i'm not autistic or anything because i dont really have symptoms outside of being incredibly socially awkward. but it's to the point where every person i've met has thought i was autistic or otherwise disabled, boys aren't interested in me, i have no social awareness. i thought it was cause i dropped out of school as a kid and was never properly socialized, but i've just been so odd my whole life. and i'm coming to the realization that this is just an unchangeable fact of life, i'll never have friends who respect me, i'll never have a boyfriend who doesn't somehow fetishize me. even if i'm not autistic i'm definitely somehow fucked up permanently and theres no way out. i'm gonna kill myself
He was flirting with a boy in my class last year, but he wasn't clear about his intentions. What's more, he once turned me down for an outing and seemed to want something casual only. This year I got a boyfriend, although I was also flirting with this boy last year in a pseudo long distance relationship. Well, I made the mistake of allowing my boyfriend to move in and study at my same university. And living only a few feet away from this one. This guy in my class is a guy seemed annoyed with me. He would "stalk" me on Instagram (he would upload things in response to mine within minutes) and would throw hints at me making fun of my boyfriend. All this shitty situation already had me tired and added to problems with my boyfriend (he was very jealous, controlling and physically intimidated me, also my family and friends disapproved of the relationship) I had to break the relationship with him and I ended up too bad emotionally. Then the second semester I met my classmate again and had to endure his attempts to flirt with me again (since he was one of my few friends in the class), but again I noticed that he only wanted something casual. At that point I had to suspend my studies because the stress and anxiety was too much. Putting up with this guy in class and the other one meters away from my university in a passive aggressive attitude, plus having taken several subjects…. Well, I finally deleted contact from the guy in my class because I honestly wanted some peace, but I think he noticed and again started throwing shitty hints at me and since I should probably still see him sometimes, I decided to make peace at him and tell him I liked him a little bit, even though I deep down didn't want a relationship. I just wanted him to be straight with me. He at first tried to lie to me by telling me he never liked me, then he said he did but not anymore. Although he had recently "told" me about a dream with the girl he likes. Anyway, we agreed to be friends. Then he said I was physically attractive and in a hug I asked for he caressed my bra strap for a long time. And when we said goodbye he tried to steal a kiss from me. What is wrong with this guy, why are men like this, don't they realize their shitty attitudes towards women, am I the problem?
I am fucking done with life
there has been massive IT layoffs in the US and Canada so now i have no job or any of making my life work
after trying to make friends with others, i've come to realize that i do not want friends with similar interests or hobbies – no, i want friends that share the same disposition, fears, and dread that i do. someone i can share values or common principles with. how the hell do i go from there? can anyone else relate? am i looking at this wrong.. do i need to change my outlook? it seems as though i cannot relate to others wholeheartedly and that common interests or likes do not help me feel a closeness to another person.
Lesbian Feels
Discuss the difficulties and joys of being lesbian, whether it's related to your partner or how you're treated by society. Share your stories of when you realized you were lesbian, too!
Hikki/NEET Diaries
I wanted to make a thread to blogpost about being a Hikikiomori or a NEET, mainly to be able to talk about how you're progressing and to help with accountability.
I've tried journalling for a long time but I always fall off because it feels pointless to write long pages to myself that no one will ever read.
Post ITT: How your day has been, woes of being a neet/hikki, things you've achieved lately, your fears, and goals.
single life or dating
How do I be comfortable being single. Should I be looking for dates since I'm in my early 20's? I want to be single but I get the feeling that I'm missing out by not going on any dates
Sexual Regret
How do you deal with the shame and trauma that comes with sexual regret?
waiting for someone
i met this guy back in may of this year. i didnt think i would catch feelings for him, i wasnt really trying and just wanted someone to talk to, but once i saw him and hungout with him, the connection was unreal. ever since then we had been dating. until the end of oct, our relationship had been great ( i know all relationships have honeymoon phases), but we had such a great connection. the only issue we had was he was a very busy guy. he is a fulltime student and lives right next to his campus. he has had a lot of struggles focusing on school and keeping up. we had a brief break in the beginning of october because i felt like he couldnt handle being in a relationship during this time. we got back together for a few weeks because he said "he wanted to try and change" etc. man stuff. at the end of oct we broke up offically. when we broke up, i agreed that i would wait for him. i am currently 20 yrs old, and i know i have so much life ahead of me, and there are so many people in the world that i could possibly have another connection with. for context, ive always struggled with feeling fully open and being able to actually communicate with others. i have never felt so connected to someone before. ive been in previous relationships, but i just feel in my soul this is different. i hate saying this, but he is different. i know im young, and everyone i explain my situation to tells me im stupid. i dont need validation. i just want genuine honest advice on whether or not i should truly wait for him if my heart wants it.
i will clearify any questions if needed.
My boyfriend wants to marry me unofficially
We have been together for four years now. We are both from different regions of Germany and had a long-distance relationship going on, before our first meeting after 6 months of talking online. We have been living together for a year and half now. He is tall, ruggedly handsome, has striking blue eyes and very intelligent and can talk about any topic for hours. He has always been right-wing, while I was more apolitical left-leaning, but that has never been a problem. We both accept each other as we are and have interesting conversations about it. We have been talking about marriage for a week now and he basically said he doesn't accept the monopoly of the state on the definition of words, because they allowed same-sex marriage and made marriage a "femdom bondage contract". So he said he would only consider marrying me privately without getting officially married.
What do you think about this, nonas? I know there are many situations, where marriage gives you an advantage, not just in terms of taxes. Like being able to visit your partner in a hospital, being able to make decisions for them, if they are incapable, not being forced to answer any questions in front of a court incriminating your spouse, to name a few I can think of. What are some other arguments I could use to make marriage seem like a good idea?
And would you agree to this? I haven't made a decision yet. I never felt strongly about marriage, but during my time with him I warmed up to the idea.
classmates making fun of me
two of my classmates giggled amongst themselves after i presented today. i can usually convince myself that it probably isn't about me, except my friend caught them doing that too. i'm surprised to see this happening in college, and even more shocked to know the main perpetrator is 27. how do i either deal with this? or cope with this? i'm getting tired of this treatment.
feeling extremely lonely
>irl friends couldn't care less about me
>dads home 2 days a week
>all mom interactions are arguements
>only online friend i liked got a life
>hobbies dont bring me joy anymore
>trying not to cut but it's hard
life has really sucked lately, anybody else felt the same?
If someone has been raped or molested, how can they heal the pain and restore control of their body?
Likewise if someone fornicates, how do can they regain control of their body and mind?
We've been together for like 6 months and we never met irl (duh) but i love him so much and like thefes this girl who lives rly close to him abd shes obsessed with him for some reason and shes determined to take him from me he told me he will never meet until after a bunch of events she offered to taje him to korea for free i was freaking out so much but he still picked going to korea with another girl that will want to do stuff with him over me what do i do help i thought we were meant to be
tfw no bf
Still no bf edition.
previous threads:
>>71974
>>18677
>>14789
>>10193
>>8844
>>5669
My boyfriend does not want to live with me, at all. Despite this he says he loves me. We've been long distance for two years, we've met up twice..
Everytime i ask him why he doesnt want to live with me he just gets angry and says im being unreasonable. Im not sure what to do here
How do I deal with being ghosted often? I think half of people who I talk to online end up ghosting me one way or another and I can't understand why. Like I will be talking to someone and at some point they even delete their account out of the blue and I have no way of contacting them anymore.
I wanna know is it that common or am I a special case?
I used to enjoy talking to people online as a substitute to irl friends and relationship but I'm currently losing motivation to talk because of this. Deep down I know I should drop online chatting altogether and make real friends but I don't feel ready for that. But this ghosting shit sure does push me closer to it, but it's bad for my mental health, but not talking to anyone at all is also bad for my mental health.
If you have experience you want to share, please do.
How to stop being a stranger?
I have a good friend I'd like to connect with again but it's hard being out of state in my hometown. I want to move back to my old city but I have a few things I need to take care of here before I leave town again. I know this time around I won't be coming back outside of visiting so, I want to make sure my family is good and I have all my basic necessities down. Anyways, I went back to visit a year ago and was happy to see her, she seemed to be doing well and well, I've still been struggling. I'm really just painfully shy when it comes to wanting to form a good friendship. It seems I'd rather nurse an unstable relationship with a boyfriend rather than find greener pastures with healthy female friendships. I don't want to burden anyone really with my bad mood/temper especially since I'm recovering from alcoholism, but I really want to be able to be a supportive ear to her too. I guess it's a two way street since she hasn't reached out to me but I really think it's because she doesn't want to overstep my boundary. I'm not sure what to do, maybe I'm projecting how important she is me on to her and I'm afraid the feeling isn't mutual. Either way, this has happened many times to me. For the better sometimes because I ghosted a lot of friends who only cared about partying and not recovering. She's one of the few people I know who genuinely seems to want to get away from all that. I'd like to be able to support that notion with someone else too.
Self harm addiction
I have self harming myself since I was 10, but, this year I took It more further, I cut over my skin over and over and over till the hypodermic tissue start to notice, I have spend a lot of money on blades and medical stuff, I wanna stop, I wanna use that money for cute clothes and make up, but I simply cannot, cuz I have a fucking addiction to this, yeah I have received help and meds but that didn’t work, nothing has worked
I have been in love with a friend for 4 years, and because of him I have never had any romantic relationship. He's been dating a trans guy for a year. EVERYONE SHIPS ME WITH HIM. His "boyfriend" treats him like shit… how can I make him stop liking him?
I am honestly tired of living like a fucking third worlder
I make 80k a year and live in a shithole called washington. I am broke and can’t afford to live on my own and I refuse to live on tacoma
I ruined my ex boyfriend
>I started dating this nerdy nice boy when I was 17. He had some temper issues and was a little selfish but most men are like that.
>we fought a lot but like I really loved him at the end of the day. He ignored me for his friends which hurt because I always just wanted his attention.
>I was childish and cheated on him… I thought love was suppose to be exciting and filled with butterflies so I was searching for that while not wanting to let him go. He forgave me every time.
>I hadn’t cheated on him in over a year but he joined this metal band and started ignoring me and I felt him slipping away. So I found a backup plan and he found out and broke up with me and moved out.
>I miss him a bunch but I understand and I don’t blame him at all. He started kind of talking to me again just pleasantries.
>he’s so hurt he’s changing himself in the worst ways. He says he’s working out and eating less and he’s trying to find other hobbies than videos games and just becoming this serious boring person. He’s even gonna go hunting. That’s not him.
How do I tell him or show him that he doesn’t need to change himself, the way he was before was fine and that he could find someone who loved him for those things? The thing I miss most about him is the dumb little puns he would make of getting excited over his video games and just showing me the monsters in monster hunter.
i've always considered myself a bisexual woman, but since last year, after several abusive relationships I've been through, I decided to focus on myself. I noticed how much I always avoided being with women romantically, and by sleeping with my best friend I discovered a new world, basically… I was with my ex-boyfriend (boyfriend at the time) and I felt guilty, I didn't know what to do, i wallowed in guilt, and after a lot of talking with my therapist I decided to talk with the boy, and I told him that I was confused about my sexuality, thinking that maybe I am a lesbian.
Time passed and I increasingly felt comfortable with women and distanced myself from men, I wanted to know if there were any anons who are lesbians or at least sapphic here, it has been a period of great discovery, and I can finally consider myself a lesbian woman who went through a long period of compulsory heterosexuality.
I always feel as though everyone hates me, or is just one step away from hating me. Like I’m always on egg shells, only awaiting the anticipated fall. I feel as though no community or group I join truly likes my presence. I can only feel as though they’re merely tolerating me. It takes such little things for me to realize I’m not actually wanted or liked. I dread the day my partner stops liking me, but I can only guess on a calendar when that will be. I feel so disgusting and hideous. I only wonder when they will feel that way towards me too. Why can’t I ever come to terms with liking myself? I have so much hatred towards me and I don’t know how to stop, really. Does it end?
When you are in love but you are also ugly
I started seeing a guy i’ve been friends with for a while. We see each other during the day and some nights but he wants to see me more often. He suggested we video chat through facetime. For context, I am very insecure about my face and the way I look. Especially without makeup.
I agreed but always decline his facetime calls and say I just want to text instead. Should I tell him I just don’t want to facetime? I don’t really know how to get over this insecurity.
I just don’t like my face inverted, which is what he sees and clearly doesn’t mind if he is dating me but it still makes me insecure.
sexism against own sex
Kept wondering why the hell can't I connect to girls IRL? Why do girls repulse or annoy me? Why can't I connect and have chemistry?? Am I too boyish?? Finally after venting to friend for the 2949th time, something clicked in his head. He asked me about my mother (both parents were narcs tho who beat me and my brother til we bled FYI) but he pointed out since my mother was more present in my life, I hate her more cuz she had more time to beat me. And those severe mommy issues is why I can't connect to girls now.
Hope this might help someone else in some way. Any other women on here who have this same bad trait as me? Its sad how I have female "friends" (aquantices really) and they're very sweet, caring, do nothing wrong. And I just stand there, in my head, constantly thinking "I fucking hate you all hope you die".
Mental illness is ugly and sad. There was only 1 girl in my entire life I connected with but we grew apart after her parents divorced.
Anyway I'm stuck here, only ever making male friends and feeling safe around them. Yet my brain jumps to prejudice the moment a female aquantice of theirs or mine briefly stops by.
Did notice though that I at least get along OK with black women and rarely feel prejudice towards them?? Really weird.
Does life get any better/easier?
I'm tired of never being able to be upwardly mobile, and I absolutely hate having to rely on the kindness of strangers to get by. Is life always going just me sitting around, waiting for the circumstances I cannot change to get better on their own with the passing of time?
I am 18, have no friends or anyone to talk to. I have a mom but she only puts me down, tries to trigger my eating disorder and as general is abusive (for example doesn't let me eat) so I can't talk to her at all. I haven't finish high school yet but I have no social skills whatsoever so I don't talk to anyone and no one talks to me. I live off government benefits I get. I have never dated outside short internet relationships on discord and I have lost my hope for future so I think I will die alone.
I have lot of hate inside towards everything and everyone. I just to act like a guy on forums because I wanted to tell how I feel without people "judging" it was before I found this imageboard. Generally the things I have said as a guy where radical incel -tier for example idolizing Elliot Rodger. When I was 11 years old I found nazism and related ideologies which I started supporting but the ideologies changed due age. When I found Unabomber, that was next obsession. What I am trying to say is that I hate mankind and society. I think if I was a moid I would have commit a mass shooting. That's how "bad" it is.
I don't have anything in my life, no one even knows I exists. I supposed to be living my best years but what's best in it? All I do is scroll internet for 9 hours a day, eat and sleep. I have tried to make friends on discord for example but people just ignore me, I am noting to everyone. So I am thinking about suicide constantly but too scared to do it. If I ended everything now, it would take several months for anyone to notice, no one would come to my funeral. I am very depressed. Lay in bed for hours because too lazy to stand up.
I don't know what I should do with my life, I fail at everything, low IQ, bad genetics. At my best I am just average on the thing and improvement doesn't seen to help. I don't know what I should do or what is there to see. Staying inside, never seeing anyone, not having anyone, idk how long I can take it. I don't understand other people even if I try, it creates lot of problems. I am just some loser screaming in her room to nothing, no one truly cares. I have taken the pinkpill and swallowed some other ideas of reality from imageboards that I believe in.
confusion of identity
reading fakeboi threads on lc made me feel sad and reminisce my childhood as i feel i mildly relate to their struggles of not feeling as though i fit in with typical gender roles. i could like girly things, dress and look feminine – but if i weren't pretty, it would all crumple before me and feel like a masquerade – as if i were a troll attempting to be a girl, and how laughable i imagined everyone thought of that. it feels as though men are graced with the ability to be nonchalant about their identity with the world, not needing to be the best-looking, smartest, or most mature within their community. that, somehow, their core self could be and is arguably expected to be outside social structures. it's okay if a man is ugly because his existence within a community is not the bane of his existence, and he can have interests that align with what he finds interesting, and that is automatically intriguing merely based off the assumption from his sex that what he likes isn't based off social affirmation. that, as a male, you are seen as an individual rather than an asset that performs. i also liked yaoi, and concluded that heterosexual relationships were loveless and based off a transaction of female-male dynamics, and how that made them feel. overall, identity is confusing and especially during girl-hood, because in many situations girls grow up and feel as though they can't simply be 'a girl' before x. whereas men are viewed as primitive souls who exist within a modern world, women are seen exclusively a part of the modern world. our sex is not differentiated from our consciousness. when i was younger, i hated the idea of being a female because i associated it purely with an identity that i couldn't live up to. but alas i was too based and thought to myself that being trans would forever be seen as a separate identity to being a man, and so i continued to pretend to be a bio male online rather than take the schizo narc route. i know that many of you have experienced to some degree or another what i have. but even now, i feel like a nlog that is somehow different from other girls. when i stare too long in the mirror, i see the same child that felt like an ugly troll amongst beautiful, REAL girls years ago. i still feel like no woman would want to be friends with me because they can sense that there is something off with me. that i am not apart of their tribe. i still create complex personalities that bring me so much shame because i just simply afraid of how they would react if i were 'myself.' but what is that? i don't know.
I feel frustrated as a utopian idealist in this world. How many people have to die for me to be with my truest peoples?
I choose immortality, powerlessness to those who would drag us down.
Jobs for avoiding the xys?
Is there any specific place of employment that only hires women that isn't medical or sex related? Thanks in advance.
every fuvking time
things are going well in life
I start to feel less depressed and less cynical
I come out of my shell a bit
I meet a boy
he's kind to me. we have chemistry
I wonder if I'm wrong that all men are trash.
I wonder if my fear of relationships is caused by trauma. perhaps, it my experience is bad luck and perhaps, my luck can even change.
this hope fills some weird void in my soul. the grass starts to look greener
it takes a pitifully short amount of time to convince me of all this too
I am living in my head and so in the moment I really think a man likes me for more than my body
and one day, the moment is right. I'm super horny, I trust him, and so I fuck him
and what do you think happens when I do that.
everything changes.
of course it does.
it doesn't even matter if he said he wouldn't.
daily good morning texts become weekly "how you been" texts become monthly "u up?" texts become nothing at all.
why do I keep falling back into this delusions that good men exist, and that one of them cherishes ME? How do I let go of the prince charming fantasy I created in childhood once and for all, and how do I be happy without it? Is it possible to become a legitimate lesbian intentionally?
I just want to be cherished. Romantically. I don't know wtf happened to me to make this such an obsession. The depressive crash I feel every time this happens often gets in the way of my career, yet I never learn.
Courage To Heal
How has reading this book helped you nonas?
offing myself soon
I decided I'm done and don't want to live anymore. I just need to make sure 60mg of klonopin (maybe a bit more) and 700ml of vodka will do it. What do you think? Will I die or just be paralyzed?
I hate being lonely
Im in my last year of high school (i'm 18) and I cant stand being at this school for any longer. I don't have any friends, I dread lunch because I eat all alone and people pick on me. I'm jealous of all my peers who have friends. I've tried making friends but im so bad at holding any conversation and it just sucks. Its so pathetic but I sit on the verge of tears whenever i think about eating alone. I just feel so isolated all the time.
girl (platonic) friend thread
how are nonas finding friends??
i'm really struggling to find likeminded girl (platonic) friendships… ive been a shutin for a long time due to the demands of my course load, but i would really love to try and put myself out there and find friends again.
the friends i have, which are mostly long distance (i've moved around a lot) or online, are nice. we engage in a lot of chats ab common interests, hobbies, views on the world etc. but i found that some often pander to moids and they don't seem to be fully aware of how damaging the patriarchy is. like they haven't woke up to it yet / or ready to accept the gravity of it yet.
so as a result i often get painted as "sexist" lol (as if thats possible)/ or i end up just keeping my mouth shut on topics and being passive. i feel like as a result, i cant really build authentic friendships bc my value system is such a large part of who i am.
i think bc of abuse and my experience w moids, i also associate girls w my value systems/similar opinions on moids as safe.
i've tried bumble friends, discord, and more. im in a radfem server at the moment, but theres troons in there. & i'm in another cc related disord server - which is the safest one i've been able to find. but would really love to try and connect w more nonas..
how are yall making girl friends? or dealing w the lack of friends??
Grieving
One of my close friends was missing over the past week and his body was found in a drug dealer's apartment. Apparently he overdosed on codeine and the dealer ran away
He was only 27 and had so much life ahead of him. I'm struggling to deal with this tragedy. Can some of you share how you dealt with yours
careers with larger female workforces?
hello nonas! i was wondering if anyone had some advice on what sort of jobs/careers in ur experience tend to have more women. i work part time while studying but im finding through work and placement that my field is mostly moids. i work better and im much more comfortable around other women so its a big consideration for me. obviously no one field is gonna be moidless but if u work in a certain field and/or are studying something that u see a lot of other women in then please share!
Am I a two-timing asshole
>Dated a guy (A) for 3 years and was in a 3 musketeers friendship with his best friend (B)
>A and I break up
>B and I get a lot closer
>We try to maintain 3 way friendship
>B and I start crushing on each other but we are both in denial
>Sidenote, I get kicked out of my house at one point and am homeless so I move in half and half with A and B
>B and I start fucking
>A and I start fucking
>B and I fall in love, are not exclusive
>Am still fucking A out of habit when I stay at his house. I don't even really want it but part of me likes the thought of having my best friends be spit sisters without knowing it
>B finally wants to be exclusive
>I break off the sex with A immediately
>I still haven't told B that I was fucking them both at the same time
>A doesn't know B and I have been dating.
>I've been in a secret relationship with B for 1 year and haven't told anyone but a distant friend and my therapist
>We want to tell A soon but we are afraid and keep putting it off.
Should I tell B I had sex with A before we were exclusive or pretend it didn't happen?
Also, judge my character. Be brutal if need be.
Weddings
Do you want to get married?
If so, what's your dream wedding?
Who would you invite?
What wedding dress would you wear?
What theme would you do?
how does one cope with anhedonia
or better yet get rid of it entirely?
i’ve tried all the standard advice: exercise, eat 5 serving of vegetables, active social life, went to therapy, psych meds, good relationships with family, got a pet, traveled, various art classes. i currently volunteer regularly at several organizations that (in theory) align with my personal values/beliefs. i’ve also tried the classic self destructive behaviors, which made me feel at least different for about a year, but eventually returned to just going through the motions, even drugs, which was especially disappointing.
everything just feels flat and draining. there is literally nothing that i want to do with my life; the only things i genuinely enjoy are sleep and drinking cold water. i always feel like i’m just performing some version of normal, but i don’t know why or for who. i’m vaguely bothered by the feeling that i’m shortchanging my friends and family, but i’m not actively suicidal or even particularly distressed, so therapists and psychiatrists tend to be unhelpful or generally dismissive, respectively.
ghosting
>what stages does the ghosted go through mentally?
>what results can I expect after 2 weeks, a month, 3 months, etc?
>best time to end ghosting?
>and others
>inb4 "you're a monster!!!"
I'm against ghosting but unfortunately desperate times call for desperate measures. I've had a friend for many years but overtime hes become a huge asshole and ingores communication to chill out. So, I do this as a very last attempt to make him get a grip. I have spent weeks telling him what's hurt me so once I do ghost him, he will know exactly why.
>t. I've been ghosted up to 2 years by friends and thats the reason I stopped being a dick myself. This guy is identicle to old me in every way. What my friends should of done different was tell me what pissed them off before ghosting me, so I applied lessons learned in this case.
By the way ghosting him for 1 week didn't do anything. So might go 3 months. Sincerely hope he is like me and will view it as a lesson.
He did get worried half way in though and texted my roomates if I was OK.
i have completely set my life on a track i dont know how to come back from
i talked with a guy who was telling me he loved me and hinting at a relationship for the past year, but never wanted to commit.
today he apologized for mistreating me and juggling two girls at once. apologized for having a different girl around when he was inviting me over.
its such a shit and complicated situation because i feel like we progressed way past the "just friends" point after the weird girl situation. and i really, really, really want him to commit to me. to what we have.
these are the terms i agreed on and i regret it terribly, but i'm so scared of losing what we have and what we were building for the past year or whatever. i know time doesn't really matter, but God i poured my heart and soul into this man. into hoping this would BE something.
> what i can offer you for now is: belief that i will not look around and a promise that when we're close (distance wise) you're the only one i will be having around, and i will not screw around because you are enough for me.
> BUT !! (literally wrote it like this.)
> i cannot promise you that i wont kiss some other girl drunk in a club
> OR
> that i randomly meet a girl and fall in love
> in both cases, if it happens, you will know
i asked him if there was space here that implies that in the near future we DO end up together. and his response?
> as much as the chance that we live and work in the same city
my response: which is totally possible
him: > it is not.
my response: so we will never be together?
him: > it doesnt mean that.
??? what am i supposed to think. i feel terrible. i feel torn apart. i want to scream into the void until my throat gives out and i exhaust myself just to rest and get some peace for once. i'm so lost and sad.
he continues:
> i think a likely scenario is the one where we say that we will be together for so long that at one point we just adapt our lives to force the distance to close.
i pointed out how thats just a paraphrase for "we will decide we want to live together and be together"
to which he responded: > thats at least 3 years minimum for me
which works for me, since i'm still studying.
i hate that i agreed to the terms. i feel like i deserve more. i wish this was a larp but it isn't. this could've ended so much worse, but i can't take being lonely right now. i can't take losing that thing we already made happen. he also said that at one point he was ready to just start bullshitting and saying whatever to keep me close, but he thought that was unfair. so he told me how it is.
i just want to be happy for once with something to hold onto and actually believe in. this is something i can't tell anyone. i lost most of my friends, i spend my days quite lonely so hanging out with him in calls and games and his friend group (which he says i can tell that we're together) literally saves me.
i am full of dread. i feel like this is going to be something that ends up killing me.
please, anyone reading, reach out. i need help. i don't know what to do.
i've been in one relationship that lasted 3 years, never messed around with guys… i keep my n-count low, i have high values, and this feels like a line i shouldn't have crossed. i'm scared for my future. i'm scared of getting hurt again, even though what we have is nice.
if anyone wants the full story, how it started, what happened… please let me know.
if all else fails i'm going to therapy. i'm scared.
will i ever know?
Comparison is the thief of joy
How do I stop making myself miserable by comparing myself to other people?
For context: I woke up today feeling depressed, these days have become more often recently. By all measures my life is going fine but I can't stop comparing myself to other people. I have a lot of bad vivid memories of things I've done like a loop in my head. Things that really don't matter anymore or everyone has long forgotten about. Moments of awkwardness and being autistic when I was younger. I compare myself to everyone else and just wish I wasn't me, like I could start over.
What do I do to get out of this loop? I miss phone calls from people trying to get in touch and I'm just stuck.
How do i get over being molested
I was in a relationship when i was child by my live-in young adult cousin. He would finger me and i would moan really loudly (i don't actually know if i felt pleasure, it's very vague) and my siblings might have heard me but i'm not sure if my siblings hearing me actually happened, if it's true then it's really shameful, i just try not to think about it. He loved to grope my butt, and he would talk about how attractive my younger sister's butt was which was particularly concerning. He would get mad at me often for anything (like running out of breath when i was kissing him for a long time) and i would try to get him to not be mad at me by desperately talking to him. i would do anything he would say and i would often seek him and my parents didn't lie it. i would go into his room while everyone was asleep and he would make me masturbate him, if i didn't do it right he would make me leave. Sometimes he would get drunk and take my hand while a friend was in the room and he would put my hand on his penis. He was really attractive, and was dating another women at the time despite telling me that i was his gf, now when i run into that woman he was dating she gives me of pity and tells me everything will be alright. I would try to tell him that i didn't like him dating someone else and i would color pictures of my heart breaking but he would just mock me or wouldn't care.
He was my babysitter for 2 year, i'm not sure if he left first or if i told my therapist first but either way he was arrested, i assume. He came to my house years later when i was in my late teens and it started to grope him and he left for some reason. I was really depressed when i was a child after it happened but i didn't know why, i don't cringe when i remember him but i don't like that i happened the way it did. When i look at old family photos with me and him, i look so much younger than him, he knew me since i was a baby. I wish i could change how it happened, i just wasn't ready to do that, i feel like if it would have happened when i was older i could have made better decisions? I feel like maybe i should have used the situation to black mail him into staying with me, but it's too late now and it wouldn't be a good way to keep a relationship. I herd he attacked his wife (that woman he was dating) with a knife. I feel sorry for (i'm assuming) getting him into a sex offender registry. I don't miss him, but he was really attractive, i would have rather date him when i was older.
How do i get over this? it's been 23 years and while i don't have strong feelings about it, but shows up as hatred for men and my porn addiction and the type of porn i watch (incest and age play).
Me and this guy have been talking for a while now but just found out he has a YouTube channel. I'm kind of disturbed and not sure what to think about it. We seemed to get along really well… Can I post it and get opinions?
Anyone not into huge age gaps but still prefer the guy to be 3 to 5 years older?
Is this weird? That age gap doesn't even matter over 25 but I still prefer to have it be present in a relationship. No idea why.
gendie crush likes me back
She's so hot but she's a they/them and thinks troons are women. Do I go for it, or will I drive myself crazy?
Am I the only fucking person that doesn't have a "shitty ex bf"
Like seriously what the fuck, I was talking to my friends the other day and all four of them had stories about emotionally or physically abusive boyfriends that they had stayed with for long amounts of time, I then started looking online and asking about and apparently this is really common.
I had no Idea this was a major thing outside of films and tv, no wonder guys talk about how "nice guys finish last" etc; they're all dealing with or getting rejected by girls with trauma from getting beaten up and cheated on.
The girl my family prefers over me
My family adores this one girl over me. I recall them commenting on her beauty and was reminded of how I was only complimented on beauty once. She fits more of the east asian cultural beauty standards. She’s thinner and paler than me. She even attends an elite university, so she’s smarter than me too. My relatives are even mutuals with her on social media so they keep in contact. Whenever she comes up in conversation, they mention her beauty and never do that with me.
I believe they would prefer to have her in replacement of me and it messes with my self-esteem. My own cousins call me ugly.
eating disorders in women/girls
it makes me so upset seeing so many women and young girls developing eating disorders and the number of females developing them just keeps growing. I wish strict beauty standards weren’t pushed on us at such a young age, there’s a reason why the majority of people with eating disorders are female. I’ve been suffering with bulimia nervosa for a while, when my bulimia was at its worst I was binging and purging 3/4 times a day. I was constantly feeling weak and tired from either restricting or purging, sometimes even thinking I was going to faint. I hate that we as women have to go through so much just to feel beautiful. I wish we weren’t so heavily fixated on being beautiful, no woman should ever feel like they have to permanently damage their body in order to fit unrealistic beauty standards. no matter if a woman is conventionally attractive or not, that shouldn’t define who she is. women are so much more than their physical appearance and I wish more of us realised this.
Instagram makes me feel like a loser
I’m introverted and keep to myself mostly. I don’t step out to my room except for when to go to work or run errands. I only have 100 followers on my Instagram which I like because I want to keep private. It’s just that I feel bad about myself whenever I see these girls with 1k+ followers (and people they’re following) who get 200+ likes her post when I get like 5.
It’s not about validation. It’s about me feeling obligated to have more followers but I can’t name 1k+ people I care about to follow. I removed many followers because I realized we didn’t even know each other outside of social media. I only followed them when I started my first year of college.
Some of the girls who I know in real life who have 3k+ followers are literal social climbers.
Help me make this not affect me as much!
a warning
ive been stuck on how to deal with this information for months. i am very scared of retaliation because they datamined information off of me from my accounts.
a couple of months ago i added a guy from /soc/ who appeared to me as a very shy, but intelligent person. he listed off many hobbies, achievements, and interests that seemed to denote someone who was thoughtful and unique.
i was in a very low point in my life due to circumstances that happened with another person in my life. so i had been befriending people off of /soc/ for a bit and that's when we started talking.
i quickly found out that we shared a board on 4chan together and that had peaked my interest. i remember one day, i can't exactly remember the post, but i got a response to one of the posts i had made. it referenced my ethnicity as a southern european in a way that made it seem like he recognized who i was, and slowly i realized that he had become familiar with recognizing my posting style on the board.
things took a turn from here.
at the beginning, posts centered around our different opinions on topics like race, gender, religion, and society. i enjoyed going on the board because i thought i had shared a place that i could come to to ramble about my interests and have someone i knew listen, and other anons could chip in if they wanted to.
i dont remember when exactly things started to change. i already had a strange feeling about him because he had a fixation with polygamy and harems, something that was offputting to me but i chalked it down to a difference of opinions. we spoke about controversial things so i had tolerated it for the most part, and i couldnt necessarily avoid him if i wanted to keep using the board.
over time we became more sexually intimate and i remember distinctly, that one day i sent him nude photos. when i went to the board later, i read a post describing my body as being masculine and the op disliked that his girlfriend (me) wasnt causing sexual arousal. i confronted him and he quickly dismissed it by saying he didn't mean it.
it feels… like everything just got worse that day. i started reading posts about my ethnicity that were hostile whenever i was on the board, and really specific things about my appearance he disliked about me. i quickly became erratic whenever i was on the board and hypersensitive to the types of posts i would see.
the breaking point was when i started reading things that i knew i never disclosed to him. very personal things and private matters with people in my life i had written about in a google doc started showing up in posts he made. at this point in time, he was aware of my first name and the school i attended, and unfortunately, my email was simply my first and last name.
i put two and two together and realized that my login credentials somehow were breached. financial information, my addresses, messages between family members, other social media i used, private personal info, browsing history - all this information was available to someone who i never shared account logins with. it correlated with the type of info he would include in his posts. all they needed was my name. perhaps it could have been a phishing link but im unsure. when i searched my email for leaked data breaches, it showed up as being one of the emails leaked. i strongly suspect this could have been how it was available to him.
i wanted to write this down because i still cant quite make sense of why he did the things he did. there's not that much evidence as to his behavior which is why its so insidious. i strongly suspect he uses imageboards and /soc/ to find people to do this type of thing to, and i think he did it to others as well. i am extremely paranoid of people these days.
please make sure to turn on two factor authentication for any private accounts you have, this includes your icloud. make sure your email isnt included in any data breaches. you can turn on notifications if they do appear, like the site haveibeenpwned. if someone has your email account, particularly your google account, extremely personal data as the aforementioned is immediately available to them if your login credentials become involved in a data breach. in my case i used a consistent password and this led to them being able to access multiple accounts of mine.
make sure to use a quality antivirus and turn on your firewall. and lastly, be wary of what you share with others on the internet. lots of personal data couldve been secure if i had been more wary of the type of people i was talking to.
whats insidious is this person was very kind to me for the first few months. i didnt chalk them as the type of person to do that sort of thing until it was too late. they were intelligent, intelligent enough to know my vulnerabilities and hack into my accounts. not every online person who seems harmless, even for the first few months, is someone you can trust. there are people who derive pleasure from doing this type of thing to others. if you are on imageboards, the likelihood is that you are already pretty lonely and perhaps will be more susceptible to the type of emotional manipulation these people use.
be cautious. dont trust people just because they know how to make you feel "good." trust people who demonstrate moral character. navigate online communities, particularly ones with mentally ill/unwell members, with caution and awareness. dont be an idiot like me.
sorry if this is not worded well. this has really worn me mentally and emotionally. i havent eaten much in days and i think its affected my cognition a lot. i feel pretty drained but i wanted to write this down somewhere because i feel incredibly alone with everything ive been through.
theres not enough documentation, and frankly i dont want this being a major part of my life, so i have to stomach a lot of this in private. i wanted to post this somewhere as a warning. perhaps ill come back to this post later but i likely wont. i just needed to say this somewhere to get it off my chest and feel like i warned others.
again sorry if this is written badly. i may rewrite for more details if i am in a heathier stage in my life and feel like this post isnt adequate. if anyone else has been through similar things, please know youre not alone. thats all i wanted to say, thanks for reading.
How’d you two meet?
How did you meet the person you’re with?
And/Or
The last/best person you’ve been with?
I was contacted by my abusive ex boyfriends’ most recent ex
For context: I haven’t spoken to my abusive ex in well over three years and I was only aware he was dating someone new about a year ago when I finally got around to blocking some of his side/spam accounts (had her name in his bio). I received a random Instagram message the other day from someone I didn’t recognize and they very briefly asked me if I had ever dated ex. Her reasoning for contacting me was trying to figure out why me and ex had broken up in the first place because he had never told her (no surprise there) and I assume she wanted to see if there was some pattern of behavior. The whole situation however has just left me feeling so fucking angry. I finally had put most of it behind me, but finally realizing that this awful man had done the same exact thing to another innocent woman, an even younger woman than myself to boot, has made me so irrationally upset. I guess I was hoping the pain I had gone through was a selfish one and that he would treat the people he dated in the future better, but of course not he’s just actual scum. Like myself this poor girl had wasted years and thousands of dollars on him and had nothing to show for it, but emotional scars and insecurities moving forward. I just don’t understand how the worst men get to continually treat women like this and get no punishment for it.
bf deserves better
be me
>neet for almost 2 years.
>socially anxious. lost most of her friends because was scared to talk to them and worsen relationships over time.
>constant fuck up.
>chubby, stress eating.
>lazy and procrastinating.
>super possessive of people.
>was mega insecure as a teen so did questionable stuff online as 15-16yo, still blaming herself for it.
be him
>super fit, attractive, hot, takes good care of himself, good sense of fashion.
>3.9 GPA.
>showers me in unexpected gifts.
>literal millionaire. makes shit ton of money, hardworking. literally so attractive when working jfc.
>made sure I can move in with him.
>supports me studying, brings me tea if I'm tired, helps focus and gives study tips. pays for my college.
>listens to my problems and truly understands me.
>charming and funny.
>encourages me to be social. people just crave him around them yet he spends time with me.
>fixes my fuck ups for me and makes sure I don't do them again.
>praises my body and face. helps me working out.
>helps me being social.
How is this real? He is so amazing. Everyone would kill do date him yet he chose me…
I want to be better yet I feel like I am failure. Idk if I'm the only one to say this here, but sometimes men do deserve better, definitely someone better than me.
Taking a crappy job
I used to get perfect grades without too much effort in high school, then near the end this got messed up for various reasons. Still managed to get into college but things still bad. Took some years out and now doing some distance courses and getting perfect grades again.
Meanwhile, I've been struggling to get a job for a long time and have been applying literally everywhere. I live in the big city now thanks to my bf. I know a few other people from high school and college are also here because they have good careers.
How do I cope if I'm stuck working in McDonald's and someone I know comes in? Either they are going to think "Haha I knew she was dumb, no wonder she ended up here" or "What a pity. All those good grades got you here?". It feels self absorbed to care about these things but I can't seem to shake the thought. I'm not going to turn down a job but I feel like I will be paranoid and feel deeply shameful if someone I know comes in.
It's not that I look down on people in these jobs (I actually have a lot of respect for them as I know they aren't easy) but I have a lot of mental baggage. A lot of my self worth comes from being smart as it's the only thing I'm good at. I got bullied in high school and it involved rumors being spread about me. I don't want people gossiping about me again, even if I'm not in contact with them. I'm not on social media so I can't post things that add context.
I'm over thinking things and shouldn't care but I suppose it feels like I will have worked hard to turn things around (getting good grades, having a job, getting to the big city) but the person that used to know me will take one look and think I'm a dumb loser and I'll feel like I'm at rock bottom again.
My mom is probably mentally not particulary healthy and idk what to do now.
Of course I love her as her child, which makes the situation even worse. She is a bit obsessed with me (only child). She behaves completely different towards me than to others and she pays me a lot of money for my studies, or rather living with my bf and paying rent and food.
I don't really know how to even describe the problem I would like to talk about.
She and my dad have always argued a lot since I remember, but never divorced. They are completely different types of personalities. Recetly they don't argue that much, but she is practically terrorizing anybody who doesn't want to do what she wants. She is a manager and experiences a lot of stress at her work. She cope by sport and tourism, but it is getting out of hand. She walks or runs many km everyday. She needs to go for tourism and sights every weekend for both days. She doesn't really have any good friends (and doesn't talk with her family) to go with and since I don't live there all the time, she makes my dad to go with her. He isn't interested in it, but she yells at him until he yields to go.
She have this crazy mood swings when she yell and somebody and in 10 minutes brings them presents. She also often change plans (like 5 times and often in very short term) and changes her opinions from extreme to extreme. She never makes concessions, for example they wanted to see me for my bday. Me and my dad wanted to go to a pub for beer, but she doesn't like pubs (it was a nice and design pub), so she was very unpleasant and trying to cause argue with him. She also never listens to anybody telling her what to do and doing only what she thinks fit.
For example they agreed to go away for few days and I should have come to be at their house. The day before the departure, she reportedly started screaming at dad, refusing to go. She never said why and she told is was because something I strongly doubt. She was in such a rage, my dad left the house driving just far away because she was saying him to get out.
I knew this before I called her and asked where dad is - she told me she doesn't know, probably arranging something. She was clearly nervouse but didn't want to tell me what happened.
I suspect her to have a kind of personality disorder. But I don't know what to do, because this situation is unsustainable but I am afraid of telling her something. She is incredibly mean to my father, but we don't belive divorce would be a solution because ofc other people need to live with her on and I can't imagine having a children, telling her not to give him something for food, because she wouldn't listen to my with anything. As she is no interested in taking criticism and doing what we think she should, I don't know how to tell her to visit a psychologist. Any suggestions?
Have I left femceldom?
Lately, I’ve been complimented by girls on my looks everyday this past week in addition to 1 guy. Them telling me that I look “pretty”. I am unsure about being conventionally attractive.
I have a wobbly head and oil-prone acne on my face. Basically, I am actually pretty unattractive. I would rate myself a 4, a 5 at best. I think I have a nice body but my face ruins my looks. I am not photogenic at all and I absolutely hate taking pictures because I end up looking really bad in them. I don’t mind compliments on more objective things like clothes and hair but being complimented on my looks feels deceptive.
If I am so pretty, why is it mostly girls saying this? Is it out of pity? Do they see an ugly girl trying to look more attractive and think to compliment her to make her day, something akin to a pig wearing makeup? I know girls often lie to each other to make ourselves feel better. It’s like patronizing the autistic kid.
I’m used to being called ugly and I’ve been bullied for it. And this wasn’t years ago, this was like a year ago. I highly doubt I’ve become extremely attractive in a matter of a year so what’s going on?
I had one experience of a girl saying, “She’s so pretty. See, I told you! I saw her the other day.” Not here to “brag”. I feel like a freakshow.
I was injured in a car crash and I suspect I have nerve damage, it's getting progressively harder to use my leg that was impacted. This is really messed up but I'm kind of excited thinking about maybe eventually being in a wheelchair because hopefully people will be nicer to me. I have no friends so it would actually be a social buff if strangers ask why I'm in a wheelchair and are sympathetic. I know a lot of disabled people don't like being used for "inspiration porn" where people tell them they're so strong and inspirational just for being alive but to me that seems much better than my current situation of being alone.
academic failure
we had a mock exam at school today, I used to be the first person in my class but i couldnt stop itching my hands bc of my allergies, i literally couldnt fill out more than half of my answers to the form that we have to have machines read it. I feel utterly useless
>That moment when I make a new friend and she's really touchy so she'll hold my hand and cling onto me and stare into my eyes a little too long but I don't know if she's straight and this is normal girl friendship stuff or if she's gay and flirting with me but I can't ask or I'll make it to obvious so all I can do is continue acting like always as everytime I make a joke she laughs and shifts herself a little closer to me.
>This has happened with multiple girls already and I'm always scared shitless to do anything, I just return the same level of touchiness with 0 fucking clue of what's going on.
>I never ask or make a move because the last thing I want is to make a straight girl uncomfortable, but I'm also a lesbian so I can't help getting flustered.
>I fucking hate this, I feel like a pervert, how can I tell what are the intentions of girls like these?
using males as meat
i lost romantic feelings for males and only have vaguely sexual ones for a super restrict few.
i dont respect or admire any of them and just feel contempt for all men.
is it okay to just have casual sex with extremely hot scrotes? no relationships and no emotional attachment whatsoever and dump the scrote when im bored.
anyone else feels similarly and has tried this before? how did it go?
i'm very new to such feelings and have never slept with a man under these circumstances and thoughts. was super monogamous and loyal and basically asexual, but men made me the same monster they are.
How does one work from home?
So I've been unemployed for 3+ months now. Long story short, last job destroyed my mental health. I was so mentally and physically exhausted that I really couldn't bring myself to apply to jobs until now. I'm still very much lacking in motivation to leave my house, though. So I ask you, dear nona, how do I work from home? What jobs/companies should I be looking for? How do I spot scams? And how little should I expect to be paid at first? Thank you <3
I'm probably gay, actually, but I thinking I'm going to marry a man and live a normal, quiet life and have one child. I really dislike the LGBTQ scene, I hate all of the… Politics involved with sexuality. I don't really think there are gay women like me out there who just want to goof off with fandom stuff and who also happen to hate liberals and conservatives equally. If they exist, these woman do not leave their rooms. I've actually thought about this. I've been going outside for months in desperate search of this special person, and have come to the conclusion that only extroverts go outside.
And even if I were somehow to meet this golden girl, she would definitely already be taken, or she wouldn't find me attractive. I could get a girlfriend, but I don't think I could ever get the one who scratches the itch right.
I'm just rambling to feel a little bit better about my shitty situation. I really wish I could meet a nice girl with moderate sized boobs and great, wavy brown hair that she hides under an array of dorky hats.
Any of you ladies have male friends?
What is your relationship with them like?
Is the friendship different from the one you have with your female friends?
boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me
he told me himself the same day and said he was really sorry, asked for forgiveness and said he didn't want to lose me and everything seemed honest and i loved him so i decided we'd make it work with a reconciliation you know.
i was fine the first few days, i didn't feel angry or anything and i didn't cry… but i think it's what they call the shock stage. it's been 2 weeks and i feel like crap now. i cry every day. i can't do anything. why do boys always cheat on me? when will i be enough, god
Single Pringles
Singles general. How long have you been single? How do you feel about it?
After years I realized my dad is an abuser. I don't know why it took me so long? I feel so broken and helpless. I feel so ashamed. I'm so sorry mom I didn't realise it earlier. What should I do? What can help? Has anyone else been in this situation? I feel so depressed.
Anger
Supposedly, there is a taboo of anger for women.
So, tell me Nona, what was your latest anger? Are you a bitch (always venting), or a nice-lady (always avoiding anger)?
I can't make female friends irl
I'm 20F who is super introverted since middle school, making friends is hard af in general but I feel like women are much harder for me than men cus of how they all form cliques and groups and exclude you from them if you don't fit in with the vibe. I have many female friends online and I find their company very comforting cus I think they can understand me better than men can but I recently joined my university and only could hold convos with the guys cus I share nerdy interests with them while the women were already in groups, out of politeness they'd talk to me and hold convos but it was more superficial and they seemed disinterested in what I had to say. I don't know what to do cus every female in my batch is like that, I'm pretty bummed out cus I wanted to make female friends and not seem autist :(
Vent thread
For vents that don't deserve their own thread
Old thread reached bump limit: >>97484
Help me get over this boy
Nonas, I had this crush on this guy who was in one of my classes. He's a couple of years younger than me. He seemed really sweet and endearingly aloof. Really my type! I even thought we were spiritually/energetically linked since I would always run into him whenever I thought of him and I always somehow knew where he would be. I didn't stalk him, I could just predict it. We never had an actual conversation which sucked because he seemed so friendly and talkative to those who sat near him. To be fair, I did sit in another part of the class. I once smiled at him and he smiled back.
I would only stare at him in class but I've been told my stares would probably come off more like glares.
Unfortunately, I never once made the effort to talk to him but I don't think he cared for me either, lmfao?
I finally "shot my shot" and sent him a LinkedIn request (he doesn't have social media, which is strange for his age) after the end of the semester because after a series of rejections, I didn't want that to be another one too. He ignored it? I took my request right tf back after 4~ ish hours because I can only handle so much rejection. I felt so pussy after the whole ordeal. There was initial regret in not talking to him but I guess there isn't really anything to regret now.
I also feel a bit silly feeling so dejected by the actions of an 18 yr old boy lmaoooooo
internet addiction
how do i stop browsing stupid ass forums? i recently hit rock bottom. deep down i know i should stop browsing sites like reddit, lipstickalley, tumblr and crystal.cafe. i want to stop caring about stupid pop culture shit. i want to stop caring about politics. i want to stop watching stupid youtube videos that i know will give me nothing of value to think about. i just want to focus on my art and read and work out but my brain is working against me.
i know it might be fucking stupid to ask this on a niche corner of the internet like crystal.cafe since most of you are likely struggling with the same thing, but i am desperate. i want to be free from the shackles of the algorithm.
i have already deleted all my social media. instagram hurt the most since its the most “normie” one and helped me stay in touch with friends but ever since they added that reels fuckshit its been total cancer. i just want to see pictures of my friends not 5032959 products being advertised on my fucking feed.
i am considering buying a dumb phone soon.
pls help nonas.
Bad Person Disorder (BPD)
Anyone here have it? I am almost certain I do reading their relationship patterns which describes everything I experienced with my most recent relationship to a T. The cycle, the splitting, the eventual discard and immediate replacement I found for him. I fit the diagnostic criteria and I feel like it explains a lot of my problems.
I am in a new relationship now. I am happy and its hard to imagine ever treating him the way i treated my ex, I can't see anything wrong with him or us. However I once felt that way about my ex and eventually things I couldn't begin to imagine doing or saying to him I did and said. I crossed every boundary.
Am I doomed to repeat the same mistakes? I have self awareness but I always lose control of my emotions and what I am feeling feels like the absolute reality. Should I just fucking rope and save anyone else from becoming close to me and dealing with my BS? Is it over??
ex bf vent
I’ve been dating this guy for 7 months. Despite his temper and lowkey anger issues I tried really hard to be the perfect GF. He was usually so caring and loving.
He tried breaking up with me in May citing my weight gain (10 lbs from 112 to 122) and the fact he didn’t want to settle down. Then he changed his mind and really tried to show his remorse and love. He said it strengthened our relationship and showed him how much I meant to him. We were LDR for two months over the summer and he would call every day and say I was perfect etc
Recently he took me on a vacation w his whole family. I met the grandparents. They loved me. Everything was great and he was so affectionate, wouldn’t stop cuddling me and giving me gifts. Then right at the end of the vacation I went in a trip with my friend. Overnight, literally the next day my BF became so dry. Wouldn’t say I love you. Barely texted.
When I asked what was wrong he said that he doesn’t want anything that serious. That he was ending things. He was so cold. I asked why all this when like 3 days ago I was meeting his grandparents and things were perfect (even according to him). He said once I left on my other trip he started thinking. And he apparently had these doubts all summer and had even asked his fellow interns how to break up with me. Apparently he had all these doubts but at the same time was telling me how perfect I am and all these plans he wanted us to do in the future.
I wanna fucking kms lol. I’m so blindsided. I accept he doesn’t want to be with me anymore but can’t get over the sudden switch. I thought maybe I did something wrong over the vacation to offend his family but his mom even texted me saying how sorry she is and she thinks I’m amazing.
My ex wants to meet up and talk next week but idk what to even say to him and I know I probably shouldn’t go.
How do I get over this guy omfg like wtf even? Everyone in my life thinks he’s gonna regret this and try to get back but I’m not sure and obviously if I went back that would be having no self respect. I just want tips on getting over him, I know he did me so wrong but I can’t get him out of my mind
Do you ever feel as if you're on the wrong path?
I often think of alternate timelines and how small, miniscule, minute, moment-by-moment can affect the outcomes and trajectory in your life.
I feel that no matter what I have said or done, there ultimately was never going to be a "good" outcome for me.
All there is for me to do is dwell on the things I have said and done in the past and whether or not I'm living in the wrong timeliness.
I'm often encouraged to seek therapy, get on meds, or pray to God, despite the fact that I know all advice is complete bullshit for me and no matter how hard I try, there is no "good" outcome for me.
I don't think I'm the problem either: I know that society is problematic and just not meant for me, no matter how much I take the advice of others or change my behavior based on what I'm told to do.
Is there any hope for me? Do you believe in alternate timelines? I just want to live a life without regrets, and a life that I consider worth living.
Self-worth outside of academics
I failed last semester and I’m starting this new one on academic probation. This is really affecting me mentally. I have a therapist but I don’t know how to handle my feelings outside of that 1-hour window.
My parents and the community I come from are very judgemental so I can’t risk failing or I will be shame upon my family. Being on academic probation makes me suicidal. My parents make me send them my grades at the end of each semester. The pressure is so high that I don’t even want to hand in assignments on time because .
I don’t have an identity outside of school.
I feel like I will go insane soon if I can't find a person I trust to tell everything about the things in my life that have viscerally effected me. That is all.
Sexual Assault/Harassment/Abuse Support Thread
Discuss your experiences, your recovery, and help out fellow miners who have dealt with and/or are currently dealing with anything related to sexual abuse/assault.
Period feels
does anyone else feel extremely depressed/anxious a few days before their period?
i've noticed this occasional pattern in my mood, but unsure if it's a thing. usually PMS is depicted with feelings of anger.
in about 4 days im going to have my period and i'm feeling very down and hopeless for no particular reason, and i'm jumping to terrible conclusions about everything.
alcoholic failgf
>be me
>fail a year in college due to ocd and adhd undiagnosed
>so avoidant and failgirl that im too scared to check emails related to college, cant submit work or concentrate on doing it
>took this year to work for money and work on self and mental health, doc prescribed antidepressoids, feeling better
>depressed last few months, not told bf of a year that i was lying about college
>he's so perfect and doesnt drink alcohol. i need him as my tradhusband forever and ever. hes the best thing that ever happened to me. brings joy and adventure to my life.
>drinking about 4/5 times a week bcs stressful late restaurant job.
>btl of wine on free evening. couple high alc beers on a light evening after work. 70 cl vodka over three nights. 'hiding' from my family.
>it all comes to a head after a staycation w bf where im not drinking, i sneak alcohol from his dads cabinet hiding this from him. drinking quadruple measures of gin and fanta so i can feel buzzed through the evening while hiding it.
>empty stomach. being insane. he thinks im having a psychotic break and calls my mom.
>big intervention.
>im taking break from work and going to quit. referred to counsilling and an abstinence program. first councilling session today.
>i dont think my problem is that serious. i admit i have had a drinking problem the past couple months. want to never get drunk ever again.
>i do want to drink on occasions. i have an all inclusive with bf booked, it cost over 3k. know i can drink in moderation, went on all inclusive with mother at start of year and was normaldrinking.
>dont want to lose my perfect little man
>family blowing my problem out of proportion. they are neets who drink 4 times a week also and more like 2 bottles of wine a night.
anyone have any insight?
life after leaving a cult
I grew up in a cult that had all the typical traditionalist views of women. I was given a highschool education but never encouraged to do more; In my family, women simply got married and had babies and for a long time that’s kind of what I expected for myself. But I eventually broke away from that cult and now I’m living all on my own in my early 20s. I feel like I’ve grown a lot; I support myself with a job (it’s nothing really special but it gets me by). I don’t have to worry about dressing modest or acting godly. I have my own apartment finally, a cat who I love, and honestly life is a lot better now. Things are good but I still feel the echoes of anxiety from the environment I grew up in.
My whole childhood I was trained to have all these expectations about life and the world and now that im free everything feels so… quiet.
My mom would always pester me about how I’m going to grow old alone if I couldn’t find a good man to take care of me. And now that I’ve left that cult, I really am alone and don’t have a lot of friends. I don’t care about marrying but I am scared of just fading away with my quiet life I have now. Part of me feels empty, like I could’ve done more with my life if my childhood wasn’t just thrown away for the men around me and the cult I grew up in. I guess I struggle with aimlessness. Have any other nonas come from a similar situation? How did you learn to adapt to your new life?
Lusting for a gym crush even thought I have a boyfriend
I feel like a horrible being, I have a boyfriend for 4 years now and recently started lusting for my gym crush. Please read my backstory before judging me.
I was always on the taller side growing up (5'8) and most boys were afraid of me, I also had no big ass or breasts and was also very shy, no guys were into me during my school years. This developed in a huge complex over the years and it got me into working out. I think I got very lucky with my genes because I had an insane glow up. My butt is really big and cute and my I really like my long legs and shiny skin now. Shortly after I started to work out a guy kept hitting on me, I first thought he was trying to pull a prank or just pump and dump me because he was very tall and handsome. Well we are now together for 4 years and I never had interest in other guys, it's more the contrary, I started to develop a disgust for other men because now that I'm attractive they all hit on me or try dumb stare downs.
So I switched gym last year together with my boyfriend and I noticed a really short guy (maybe 5'6?) who was very obese working out at our gym. He is extremely shy and talks with nobody, I see him every time when I work out. He lost all his weight over the last year and his transformation is admirable. He looks like an Italian/Spanish mini Henry Cavill. Now this is where the problem starts, I started to "like" him. I noticed that he sometimes looks at me but I kept ignoring him during all the time and now he stopped to look at me. Back then I didn't care but once he glown up I started to enjoy his attention. I know I sound like a basic gym bitch. I also kept catching myself thinking about him, asking myself why he doesn't have a girlfriend or why he is so shy. My boyfriend noticed me looking at me at him sometimes and at first he got passive aggressive during our home rides. I asked him and after some tries he opened up asking me what I want with that short guy (he insulted him very mean ways). I told him it's nothing and that he is imagining things. The disputes with my boyfriend are getting worse and it's starting to tax me. I really love him but I'm so confused. The more often we quarrel the more the intrusive toughs get into my head. Did my current boyfriend just abuse the fact that I was a shy girl back then and he made use of my weakness? I really had a bad self esteem before I had my glow up. He also has no attacking point because my gym crush doesn't even hold eye contact with me or does anything like that. My boyfriend even got angry because he was in the same room as me (we both trained legs that day and there is a room for leg machines). I tried to think about it rationally, maybe I see myself in that guy? I mean he also seemed like a loner and really changed his way. He also is really into fitness. I'm not into short men, he is shorter than me so I could never date him. I think right now it's just my admiration for his achievements and my boyfriend reacting badly to it and that is confusing me. I still love my boyfriend.
Any thoughts?
Im early/mid twenties khv and just recently began trying to challenge myself by actually speaking to moids and making an effort to find my own relationship instead of just waiting for them to come to me cuz it just ain’t happening.
I found a dood local to me and we've been messaging daily for a few weeks and met up twice. I felt like we actually got on really well, I felt like the conversations went well (which is big for me) and it’s the most comfortable I’ve felt around a moid, but the longer I've been messaging him I've started feeling really insecure. Like thinking does he find me annoying is he just entertaining me because he feels guilty and waiting for me to finally shut up? I feel like the messages became a bit more trivial as time has gone on but outside of that I don't think he's really done anything to make me feel this way and it could just be my own self-hatred but it's making me really deppresso.
I’ve always been pretty low maintenance with friendships like maybe messaging people once a week so I’m finding the daily messaging a bit awkward, like I want to speak to him but I also worry that I’m taking up too much of his time and that he doesn’t actually want to talk to me that often if at all? I also feel like cause we’ve spoke so often there’s not much new or interesting to say and I’ve used up all my best jokes and stories. The text convos used to be quite long but now they’re kinda short and shallow.
I thought I’d post this in case any other nonas could relate, I don’t know how I can make this better, if it will go away naturally or if I should just dip bcoz I don’t wanna feel sad ☹ part of me thinks maybe honestly is the best policy and maybe I should ask him if he actually wants to speak to me but that also reeks of my insecurity which would probably put him off and make me look like I was baiting for attention. I was feeling so hopeful at first and I just don’t want to lose out on what I thought could’ve actually been really good. Pls halp s
I hate my roommate but never met her
I already hate my roommate, whom I’ve never met. She’s really popular and seems like the type who will always have guys over in our room. Is it petty of me to put in a room request change? It won’t even be processed since we’ve never met.
I’ve lived with many extroverted roommates before who always had people over in our room. I just want my room to be a place I can relax in because I become a mean and bitter person very quickly when I don’t have a place to be at peace.
Outgrowing your friends
share stories about you outgrowing your friends.
i met up with a friend i hadnt seen since highschool (im in my early 20s) and i was viscerally repulsed by her. she hadnt changed at all. she was still very autistic, had no experience with men, and was still ugly. i know i sound like a bitch for saying this, but its what i feel. in contrast, im a completely different person from who i was in high school. ive glowed up, ive dated, ive done things people my age are meant to do. it felt like i was meeting up with someone who was stunted, in a way. she wants to meet up again, but i dont think i will. its sad because she’s one of my oldest friends (ive known her since middle school). oh well.
Am I just bisexual or a lesbian?
>only had sex once and it was with a girl
>only ever kissed a girl
>watch only lesbian porn
>never had a crush on a nonfictional guy until college 1-2x
>heart beats rapidly when I see a girl in a bikini
Am I just a baby lesbian?
fear of catfishing
>be me, girl with crippling anxiety and body dysmorphia bc of past trauma of growing up ugly
>upload pics of yourself (no filter) to a dating app bc of fear of catfishing
>match with a guy on dating app
>realize it’s someone you know in real life after matching, must find you attractive bc he’s seen you in person before
>conversation dies after 2 days, you somewhat hit it off with another guy and delete account, thus “unmatching” with the guy
>run into that guy irl the next day
i feel so awkward for no reason
Girls, I feel like the worst kind of woman. Let me tell you. I had a long distance boyfriend who came to study with me. But since we only knew each other through the internet, it turned out to be shitty almost everything. First of all, he didn't have enough money to survive in my city, he also turned out to be a jealous and aggressive guy, extremely depressive, and he didn't do his own laundry. I was getting more depressed every day and wanted to drop out of college, I was also very unhappy in this relationship and often fantasized about other guys until I had the courage to break up with him. Why do I feel guilty? He is already 25 and hasn't even been able to finish a year of college, and I think he will also drop out of my college. How can I avoid feeling guilty in this situation?
Married former friend constantly looks jaded, exhausted
A woman I was friends with ages ago got married a few years back. She has no socials I'm aware of, so when we lost touch, she disappeared from my life pretty thoroughly. I heard about the wedding through the grapevine, I was not invited.
I hadn't so much as heard ABOUT this woman until recently, but eventually I connected with a mutual on Instagram and saw the first images I'd seen of her in I guess something like 10 years.
I was a little surprised at what I saw. In virtually all pics she was in she looked tired and jaded, with a blank look that I can only describe as a thousand yard stare. She was not smiling in a single one. I got a vague feeling from some of these pictures that she might have been on heavy amounts of psychiatric medication, but that's just a hunch. The exhausted look was unmistakable.
Obviously this tired look could be due to any number of things, but is it possible that her marriage is directly causing it? She does not have kids, so the 'exhausted mom' thing isn't it. Could it be that the husband on his own is making her feel exhausted? What kinds of things to married moids do to make their wives feel exhausted? I wish to understand what's going on here but I have no way to talking to this woman directly.
Only attract old men
so sick of it
why are young men so hard to get
I ran out of cheese today
Why is it that all the attractive men I want to date don't want to date me back, yet all the guys I DON'T want to date at all costs (aka schlubs and creeps) all keep pestering me and asking to date me? I'm not even bad looking either, each time I've been on a date with a hot guy he's told me I'm attractive in return and wants more with me but then always changes their mind or they get hung up on some stupid shit too that makes them pull out and suddenly say they "don't know what they're looking for and need time to themselves". I just want to get laid already before I turn 30, I'm tired of being a virgin.
bf advice thread
my bf and I are planning on getting engaged, he is in the process of having a sentimental custom ring ordered.
my issue is that his actions don’t reflect one of a sustainable life partner and I doubt his ability to care for future children. I think this way because he needs to be mothered, reminded over and over to do simple tasks, his ADD affects him a lot and makes him forgetful… example is when he cooks for me, he will leave all the dishes “til the next day” (we flat with 4 other people so our stuff everywhere impacts them) or sometimes he WILL do the dishes but leave the leftovers out in the open unrefridgerated and these end up spoiling.
he’s addicted to video games and I only get 1-2 nights a week to sit down and have dinner with him… every other night he collects his plate and goes straight back to gaming.
he does nice gestures for me, loyal and is a lovely character in general… I worry that if I leave him, I will end up with yet another male who does even less AND cheats.
I’ve spoken to him so many times about changing and he does initially, then falls back into the same patterns. It’s exhausting already and we don’t even have children… I dread to think what life will be like with them.
I don’t really want to leave him but I need a way of truly getting this through to him. even my brother and flatmates have made comments about the way he leaves me to do everything.
am i paranoid or was i being followed?
>be me
>match with a guy on a dating app
>exchange numbers
>tell guy i’m going to be at a certain restaurant for a friend’s birthday
>guy asks where and when the event is and what i will be wearing
>i tell him everything
>go to the restaurant and notice some guys who enter after me sit across from me and visibly look at me
>one takes a sneak pic of me
>guy i was talking unfollows me on social media and stops texting me
to be fair, i think he was negging me throughout our texts so not a major loss
How to stop being a NEET
-tips and tricks
-talk about your experience on being one
help me nonas, i have no idea on what the fuck i need to do to get a life.
seethe thread over internet people
seethe
I might have just had the worst jar confidence/self esteem dropping experience ever. so I was basically talking to this guy online for a few days, and he kept trying to push me to send him more pics of myself because he has only seen what I look like from my profile picture only, so he suggested that we would exchange pictures of each other for 'fun' and I don't know how I bought into it (probably because I liked him and wanted to get validation badly from someone that I was actually attracted to) so I ended up sending him a couple of pics after he did first, and what basically happened is that he ghosted me and Im now left feeling like the ugliest creature that has ever existed and literally on the verge of crying. and it hurt more, because I trusted him since he seemed like a decent, genuine, thoughtful person and we had good chemistry and conversations but I guess beauty is all that matters to a moid at the end of the day
My birthday
its my birthday today nonas, only few e friends wished, rest are automated messages from services. My parents just wished me happy birthday n there was no gift this year. No cake. Nothing. I see stories of girls having their friends celebrate their birthdays, boyfriends organizing parties for them n it breaks me. I am ugly lonely n pathetic
>went to DMV to get ID
>have done my best to look good in public for the last year or so, spent a lot of time getting a style going that i like
>have to get picture taken
>clerk takes the photo and the ID pops up on the screen, she says "does all the info appear to be okay?"
>barely contain my terror as i see how terrible i look in the picture, instantly feel like crawling up and dying on the spot
what am i supposed to do about this feeling? i look in the mirror and think i look okay, but every time someone takes a picture of me i look like a monster and i feel embarrassed that people even have to see me.
my self-confidence just plummeted and it feels like there was no point to me ever trying to make myself look presentable
i had to swear while crying to my parents that i won't smoke pot anymore because i'm so tired of their untrust towards me. i know my psychologist and psychiatrist will listen with more attention to their version of my life (most days i feel like i'm thriving compared to my younger self) because I AM the crazy one, I AM the borderline bitch who just left the psych ward two months ago. and i'm really tired of this shit. i am 21 years old. yes i might not take the better decissions ever but at least i'm trying wtf. i don't want anyone yo take care of me except myself ever again.
Any girls who get obsessed with others girls too
Not necessarily romantically/sexually. Please I wanna see girl obsession here. Personally the women I get obsessed with are always autistic and somehow mentally more masculine than the average woman. I even cried so hard a few times when the girls I was obsessing over online just disappeared or when they stopped engaging with me. Why it's so unusual. Why everyone loves moids.
How do you deal with paranoias?
Hello nonas, I didn't find a thread about struggling with paranoia so I figured I'd make one!
I'll start, how do you deal with paranoias?
I feel like I'm going crazy by the day, I can't trust anyone anymore.
I feel like everyone I talk to online is either a bot or secretly making fun of me.
I feel like I have glowies tracking me for no reason, I hear voices and every time my mom/sister are late by an hour I'm starting to panic because I think they got hit by a car or something. I feel like when I play online games someone will dox me any minute, same goes for image boards and talking on discord.
I can't have my windows open too much because I feel like people are staring at me through my tiny window and I feel like every info I give out/share will be used against me.
Can any nonas relate? if yes, how do you deal with that?
I've followed someone for an embarrassingly long amount of time and spent countless hours consuming everything they did and digging for hidden information. I built up an idealized version of them in my head, sophisticated, cultured, intelligent, good taste. I felt so inferior and tried so hard to be like them.
I just found some videos they were in ages ago and now I feel completely deflated. Worse, I feel stupid for obsessing and following them for so long.
It's hard to explain but they come across as so bland and basic. I'd already gradually learned that their sophisticated image wasn't completely real but I'd never seen them interact casually and unscripted before. They talk about how they spend their time and it's pretty much the opposite of what I had thought. Heck, my life is closer to the idealised version.
I can't believe I wasted so much time and energy on them. I want to cry it's that bad. I just feel so stupid. I only watched a few of the videos and don't know if I can even finish them.
how do you successfully manage to stay friends post-break up? What do you do if the survival of your entire friend group depends on that?
cheating asshole i met off 4chan
do you consider it cheating when a guy openly lusts after another girl in front of you? or when he starts trying to get her attention on online spaces?
i literally met the most infuriating asshole who did exactly that to me and i seriously think this dumb fuck still doesn't get what he did is wrong. might come back to this thread later to elaborate, i didn't sleep last night
Did your boyfriend/husband wait for marriage before sex? What is your experience with convincing men to wait? Is it worth it? Does it work? Do the good men also walk away? Is it even a good idea in the first place, if seemingly no one seems to do that anymore?
I am from Germany and this whole concept is basically completely foreign to young people here.
My moid friends broke me
I have built up a friend group
Most of them are moids (and coomers, I did not know it at first)
They judge women's bodies, objectify them, and talk about women like they're porn categories. It makes me physically cringe and disgusts me every time
I've recently picked up the habit of looking at other's women body, face, cleavage, everything and started comparing all of that to me. It ruined my confidence. I'm too this, too that, less this, less that. I hate myself. I genuinely do. I hate my body, my face, my physique. I hate how I think too, I was never like that, and now, I'm borderline mysoginistic
I feel like I'm becoming some sort of misogynistic version of myself
A few months ago, I was extremely confident (I'm a big fan of fake it till you make it) I was building still building my confidence, but everything was going well. I would uplift other girls, I had this sorority mindset, I use to compliment random girls on their outfits or hair, I was genuinely nice to all of them
I don't know what the fuck happened. I don't know what to do to stop being hateful. How do I stop it ? How do I build my confidence back up ?
Did anything like that happen to some of you ?
I hate myself, I hate other women, I hate moids, I hate myself
has this ever happened to you? how did you react? were you the other woman or the other girlfriend?
i'm struggling with my boyfriend, he keeps looking at other women whenever we're out in public and it's making me depressed and anxious.
finally breaking up with my boyfriend
i’ve been questioning our relationship almost since it started but i feel like today is finally the last straw. i had such an amazing day at my new job and felt so happy only for a few conversations with him to ruin my day and make me start crying. ur partner should only make things better ! This is not a relationship ! just wanted to get that off my chest,, please wish me luck ah
How to deal with the feeling that you are wasting your youth? I just turned 19 and i'm feeling guilty, most of my late teenage years were wasted in my room playing games because i am socially inept and severely depressed, i'm scared i will waste my 20's as well doing nothing because my life is uninteresting and it's near impossible for me to make friends, i feel so aware of the passing of the time everyday and it's driving me insane.
Conflicted
Need opinions and this seems like an appropriate thread to ask.
A young, short guy moved in with a member of my friend group. He's got cute, delicate features, he's soft and gentle and kind. He's also smart but jaded about relationships, been hurt in the past apparently. I haven't talked to him about it, just been doing recon.
I can't tell if he's interested in me, he doesn't put himself out there romantically and seems indifferent about the idea of a relationship. Among our mutual female friends, there's a rumour he was sexually abused but so far no one feels close enough to him to ask him about it. "He reacts coldly to physical contact" seems to be the only evidence for this.
I feel like I'm falling for him, but I don't usually go for cute guys shorter than me. (I'm 5'8" he's probably 5'2" - 5'4") My type is a gymbro. Am I considering this because of pity? Is it because he is showing no interest in me? Both of these don't seem like healthy reasons to pursue a relationship.
On the other hand, he is witty, we share a similar (dark) sense of humour and several interests. He's got big, sad, grey eyes. My worry is a lot of his attraction comes from the mystery and I will lose interest as soon as I get to know him.
Thoughts? Questions? Concerns?
Hetero but i exclusively watch lesbian porn?
im curious if anyone else can relate… i consider myself straight because im only attracted to guys and only ever fantasize about having a future with a guy, and i have absolutely no romantic feelings even in fantasy about women but i DO think they’re really sexy. i only watch lesbian porn, but not even soft lesbian porn, like strap on rough stuff. i mean is that normal?? i really don’t consider myself lesbian
I'm unhinged
I left the psych ward a month ago and although I feel a little better there are moments where I feel an empty space in my chest or I feel Everything at the same time. I'm a borderline case so I think it makes sense but I'm just so tired of this mental instability all the fucking time. Plus my psychiatrist is trying to remove my ansiolitics and I'm having anxiety 24/7. I try to put all of my faith in God but most of the time I feel there's nothing He can do for my psychiatrist problems. I feel doomed.
I'm jealous of my friends friendship, is that wrong?
hi, i'm a college student who finds very difficult to make friends and keeping friendships for a long time.
in college, i have a group of friends that consists of both girls and boys. before the group was formed, i used to talk a lot with 2 girls of the group. but nowadays everything is so different. so basically they start being good friends with the other girls in the group. like it's normal i did too, but they basically they have now their own gc separate from the main group and do their own discord calls and shit. have now their own little secrets, jokes, girls talk and i feel so excluded. my other gc with the 2 other girls is barely active nowadays (because i got tired of being always left on read lol) and i feel lowkey they only care about me when the other girls are not around. i feel like even the guys get awkward when they start with their own jokes.
i thought in having an conversation with them about this but i feel like they should not be pressured in being more close to me if they don't want to. but i feel sad because i feel like i'm not creating real connections in college and felling like the 2nd option of all time.
sorry for such a long text but i don't know how to express if not like this. i would like some sincere advice or know if anybody has been in the same situation has i'am.
How to be approachable
I don’t get it. I look in the mirror and I think I’m pretty enough and I’m well-dressed. I participate a lot in class and I’ve had guys approach in class and outside of class to ask me what I got on the exam and calling me “smart” but never flirting with me/talking about anything else. Admittedly, I’ve been told I have an rbf by girls. I know a lot of people talk about being “initimidating” which I think is complete cope but I wonder how I can seem more approachable. I have a baby face and I’m short so I’m not sure what’s “intimidating” about me :(
I can’t stop feeling sad
I watched a documentary I found online and now the song from the end credits is stuck in my head and it keeps making me feel sad by reminding me what I saw…
>swallow me whole…..
https://watchdominion.org/
For those struggling with hygiene
This is my
Brushing teeth
1. Take out some floss
2. Floss your teeth by tying a circle around each tooth except your molars.
3. Wipe your teeth with
4. Squeeze toothpaste into your mouth
5. Wipe your tongue with a paper towel
Washing your face:
1. Use the bathroom to piss/no. 2
2. Wash hands with soap and rinse hands
3. Put some water on your face.
4. Add bar of soap to your face.
Shitty ex thread (bitter)
I’m tired of being the bigger person and not talking shit about him. I hate that after breaking up with me, he started giving me mixed signals, like saying he doesn’t want anything romantic, and then holding me tight and kissing me all over my face. Just like my other ex, and he knew how terrified I was of that. He posted a picture on Instagram after we broke up wearing MY shirt, and he never even heard of the band on it. Today I asked him to give me my 3 in 1 really cool book back, and he said that he’ll give it to me some other time, because he wanted to take his time on it.
There’s so much more, honestly he makes me so angry I can barely think. Anyone else going through this? How are y’all coping
Suicide Support Thread
Post in this thread if you're thinking about suicide and would like some non-judgemental love and support.
CC is always here to listen to anything on your mind.
You are important to us and we love you.
Difficult Room-mates, Feels plus Advice
Has anyone lived with or currently live with someone, a room-mate, a friend, a relative, that they didn't get along with or that was mean to them?
Feels, I guess, plus advice?
How did you survive? (Did you?) What advice do you have? What would you do different? What do you suggest others do?
Do good men even exist?
Every men i dated so far seemed ok at first, but turned up to be a rapist/manipulator/pedo/weird abusive asshole etc. It seems like all they want is to "conquer" a woman and move on to the next one, no matter what they say or do at first
It would be so easy if it was me who was to blame in my bad expiriences in relationships with man, yet almost every person i asked (besides my exes) and everyone who knows me says i'm not at fault.
Ironically, after my last break up, i started reading La Forêt des Mânes by Jean-Christophe Grangé and main character of that book has the same problem, she notices that all men do just this. The book was written by a man and the fact that i'm not the only one, and the fact that some men understand this problem rly crashes my hope for a good relationship in future
I would date a girl, but it would be challenging, bc im biromantic, but heterosexual
Pls, nonas, if you have a stable long-term relationship, tell me about it, give me hope, i don't know what to do
want to drop out and become a neet again
basically this thread is a response to >>100727
i think it kind of is off topic of the original thread and deserves its own spot
recap: disenchanted with school, used to be happy living as a degenerate, want to go back. the full story starts here:
>>100505
picrel: the scene immediately preceding this is literally me when i packed all of my stuff into my suitcases and threw everything else down the garbage chute and ran away back to my parents house when the semester ended (only i had more luggage than this character lol). the movie is "a bride for rip van wrinkle" by shunji iwai.
i decided to go back to school bc it's only 1 more year left, so i should just bear with it (if i dont kms first ;) ) but it's almost time to fly back to school and i kind of dont want to go back rn lol…
>>100735
believe me i would LOVE to do an online program, but unfortunately the degree requires mandatory practical asessments… looking back, zoom classes during covid were actually soooo fun, i didnt appreciate it enough when i had the chance. it reminds me of something i heard on the radio, "sometimes we're so disappointed with the way life is going that we forget to be thankful for everything we have." thats kind of what im going to try to do to make it through the next year
>>100556
she's actually a super nice person tbh. maybe she cant be everything i need rn but tbh anyone who i can vent to is literally keeping me alive rn. i also i have to realize that im kind of super emotional too so im not surprised that someone might react to me in that way
How do you set boundaries with yourself
Fathers
Why are dads so fucked up sometimes? My dad straight up admitted his life was ruined by having a daughter. He's let it slip so often and I've cried about it before. This is like the fifth time and I haven't cried at least. I think it just finally sunk in my dad wishes I was never born. I've just been staring blank-faced at my ceiling this whole night. I'm not even that bad of a kid. I struggled in school I guess when I was younger. I have no bf (he has always talked bad of slutty girls), I work, etc. I feel empty more than anything. I just wish my dad could love me. I'm so sad.
Why are men so pathetic?
Like I’ve heard how men kill themselves more often than women blah blah. But literally women are twice as likely to suffer from depression as men. We just aren’t big babies about it and just carry on with our life’s. Men are literally just weak minded.
Annoyed by everyone and everything
Anyone feels similarly? I understand it's a me issue but why everyone's existence annoys me so much? I used to be chronically online which may play a role but as of now I am healthy, social and have good relations with others but after a certain point I start looking for flaws which ultimately leads me to hating the person and I have to fight every fiber of my being to not be mean or condescending towards them. I think I just have a lot of pent up anger for not being able to accomplish my goals so I project onto others. However, most people suck and that's a fact so am I really at fault? I used to shit on men online all day because.. they are easy to hate and they are an easy outlet for me to let all my frustrations out. but honestly, once I started socializing more, women became just as easy to hate and are annoying to no end. Kids as well, tiny and obnoxious parasites. Could never get along with animals either cause all of them are just stinky, dumb and gross. Don’t wanna say anything about old people cause I’ll say some f’cked up things. Again most of my interactions with people are great, I get along with women and men just as fine but if 95% of the people I interact with whether be family, friends, acquaintances, animals, kids had gone through a tragedy, I probably wouldn’t even care and perhaps get some type of satisfaction over it. The idea of leading people never appealed to me but I think the role of dictator would suit me. What is wrong with me??
I don’t even want a boyfriend anymore. I just wanna have a lot of money and to live all by myself. I’m just so uninterested in men or being with anyone.
I think I’m gonna break up with my bf and tonight made me realize how awful he is and how much I hate him.
I had a guy call down to the front desk at the hotel I work at. Says he just wants to talk. It happens sometimes a lot of these guys work on oil regs so I don’t really mind too much. But then he asked how old I am and how big my boobs are. I immediately call my bf because I’m freaked out. He yells at me and tells me to call the police (like what are they gonna do, what he did isn’t against the law and I’m probably gonna just get in trouble for being the police here) he calls me stupid and just continues to yell at me to the point I literally am bawling. Hang up on him and call on if the guests that’s married and chit chats with me and tell him what happened and if he could pls come down here and sit with me. He does. My bf didn’t even offer. After I finally just broke and was like you literally made me cry, he called me insane then told me good luck.. like why am I dating someone who doesn’t even wanna try to comfort me or protect me…
I think I'm in love
Hello, anonette <3
I think I'm in love…
I met this guy, online, a little more than a year ago now. It clicked like never before. We understood one another, had the same morals and values, and our political opinions are the same time. We do have the same opinion on a lot of things ; which feels really nice, feels nice to be understood. We never fought. Not even one fight.
I honestly think that he's marriage material
I have not seen one redflag, even after a year. Maybe I'm dumb, maybe I'm blind. But I haven't seen one
A couple of months ago, we started to be more distant… The different timezone did not help at all. We were both pretty busy and sens a few messages throughout the day but nothing more. And I can't explain how much I fucking regret going down that path. I should've answered him more frequently. Showing him that I was still interested in him. I don't know how to bring up the conversation to him… I don't know how to explain that I'm still interested and if he is too.
We even talked about meeting up, and freaking marriage at some point
I think that I'm in love and I'm extremely anxious about the fact that he could not be interested anymore
Can someone could help me with how I could bring up this situation to him. Help me with anything. What do y'all think of this situation ?
A thing my bf told me when he was drunk
His ex gf, one before me, kept complaining that he kept getting drunk instead of studying, I kind of felt that but I never say anything anyway. He has been jobless and in a student status although he keeps failing because he does not study and misses classes on purpose because he needs to catch up and fails, been like this for 3 semesters am I wasting my years… I need a second opinion or advice idk
Controlling gay thoughts
I have a boyfriend who's great, but lately I've been feeling disgusted by him and I dread intimacy. I've been having a lot of gay thoughts related to kissing or dating women. I masturbate myself thinking of women. I daydream of a wife. What can I do? I don't want to break up with my bf.
I am no longer happy with my boyfriend. Even though he has done a lot of things for me, he is a sea of mental problems, insecure, violent, depressive…. And he has slowly sunk me into his own shit. Why don't I break up with him? I'm scared, he's spent enough money on me, left his family to move close to where I live. He's done all that for me. And he's failed so many times in life, I'm afraid this will end up breaking his sanity. What should I do? If I stay with him, I'll probably end up cheating on him. And him beating me.
retroactive jealousy
do you suffer from it? are you jealous of your s/o's exes? how do you deal with it?
for me, i do get upset thinking about his exes. not that i am jealous of them as people, but in the sense that at some point in the past he gave the amount of affection he shows me now to them before. honestly i might just being super bpd about it but i feel like talking about it with people who might relate in a way.
Women’s Safety
What lengths do you go to to ensure you’re safe? I personally don’t go to house parties and prefer to be home before sunset.
Settling for an “average” life
I have an obsession with fame. All of my future aspirations end with fame. Everyone my whole life has pushed me to be exceptional and it’s exhausting. I want to settle for average.
I think what I really want is financial stability and general recognition.
I recently started losing weight. I wasn’t ugly before or anything I was like the kind of fat girl guys will still give a chance despite being fat because my face is the way it is. Well the more I lose weight the more guys sexually harass me.. I thought it would be different if I lost weight but it’s just a larger variety of mistreatment. Is this really how men are just sexed up apes?
trading sexual intimacy for emotional intimacy feels like shit
I've been estranged from physical intimacy for my entire life and have been coping for the last few years with online roleplay. It's been up and down, sometimes I feel very driven to immerse myself in a character and her pain, but it's starting to numb and I don't really know what to do
I've always been really good at writing because I used to do an unhealthy amount of yaoi fandom fanfic and feel like the compliments matter, but I never really feel better. I'm nearly 30 and have had physical relationships before but my fear of actual sex and obligation to my boyfriend chokes it every time and I end up attacking him in my sleep or something awful. I've basically accepted that I will be alone by now
When I write I get a lot of attention because its on a public image board and I only used to do stuff in private, so this feels good but also like shit because I can't control myself in private. I've lured men in and had them burn themselves, cut themselves, hit themselves, and even got some actually suicidal ones that I had to leave right away. I've been diagnosed with obsessive narcissism, schizophrenia, OCP, and a bunch of other stuff from my doctor but I try to just take my medication and not think about it too much. The urges to control others through my writing are really strong, but I can only feel emotions through my characters, so I don't know what to do there either. I used to do bets and stuff, I would make guys act like dogs, or be a slave myself, I know it's not healthy but it's not any worse than all the gay shit I used to write. I can't just stop, otherwise it will be like dying
I would just stick to public writing but the dissonance between what I want out of a scene and what I KNOW I HAVE TO DO FOR MY PARTNER is too much to bear anymore. I'm not reckless enough to keep up with the hyper violent masochistic scenes I used to do, but I can't actually enjoy any written intimacy anymore because I'm so fucked up. I used to, I used to be able to feel sexy and cool and loved and powerful and wounded but strong but I just can't anymore
Does anyone else hate that you have to be what men want to see you as, just to get your feelings acknowledged? I don't want to feel like sex is whats expected of me anymore but that reality is just too close for me to deny anymore and I can't find where I can be happy with it
All I really do these days is talk to the one guy that respects me and watch movies and games together, but I know if we took things further I would just fuck them up
Porn Addiction General
I'm not posting this in /nsfw/ since the entire premise of this thread is antithetical to that board, and I figure we could support each other here. I've seen a few posts here and there around cc of anons trying to curb this issue.
Who here is struggling with a porn addiction? Share your experience, thoughts and ideas, hold each other accountable, or just vent.
>a few resources on how porn affects the consumer, tips on staying free, and general topics of interest
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com
pretty much this entire website +
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn-problems-here-come-women
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/are-fetishes-innate
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/threads/my-thoughts-on-rebooting-extremely-long-post.15558
https://a-broader-sensibility.tumblr.com/post/160909630573/anti-porn-masterpost-feel-free-to-reblog-and-add
http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/24/entertainment/terry-crews-porn-addition-feat/index.html
Anyone feel free to post other resources and articles. This is a very cursory list.
Girls. My boyfriend sometimes hits the wall with his fists and once broke his phone when I told him I was going to leave him. Is it normal for men to be this stupid or can this guy be dangerous? He has never hit me, insulted me or touched me without my consent.
Crush rejection posting
>have crush
>crush text me song lyrics from a song I posted on my story
>I reply with the next lyrics (that’s my favorite song anon)
>”me too”
>I respond with “cute”
>he then responds ”wanna have sex”
>”wait what”
>he then informs “just ducking with you”
>in shock all I can do is say uh huh and call him a pussy
so that’s my night. What’s crush rejection story
Something you wish someone would say to you
Whats something you wish someone would tell you right now?
❤️
First of all, excuse my English. I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought he was going to be fine but every time I see him I feel sad…. Well, I'll tell you. Last year I was in an online relationship. At first I loved him very much, it's true. I was going through a depression and he was the only one who understood me. I admired him too: he is a very nice guy. But then he showed me his bad side. He is a very depressive guy and he blames everyone else for his failure in life. Well, some time after I met him I started to go to therapy. And I started to study a career. Up to that point we were still together, but then he let me down for the second time by dropping out of a career. He is 25 and it bothers me that he is so immature. We also didn't talk as much as we used to. So the love was already fading. Well, at that time I realized that a classmate of mine was interested in me (yes, also a lousy idea). And on the advice of a friend, I decided that I was going to accept his invitation to go out…. I got to like this guy quite a bit now that I think about it. He was the complete opposite of the other guy, he was very clear about what he wanted to do with his life. At the time I was confused and broke up with my internet boyfriend. And well, he took it badly and tried to win me back by coming to see me and "consolidating" our relationship. Well and my classmate was no longer behaving so well with me. I half understand that he didn't have much time for me because of exams, but I'm also sure he doubted me a little bit and what he wanted with me. I told another friend about my internet relationship and she told me that if he didn't move in with me, I shouldn't take it too seriously. Anyway, earlier this year I got back together with my internet boyfriend. He had treated me like a princess and I fell for it again, while the other guy didn't seem to care so much about me anymore. Well another mistake I made was telling him to come study at my university. And now it's so awkward because the other guy knows I have someone else. And I know he hates me, even though he doesn't have much to complain about. But it's so uncomfortable. And I'm sure he talks bad about me. It still hurts my soul when I see him, I think I really liked him or I don't know. what can I do? My boyfriend keeps doing things to dislike me. Sometimes I think he wants me to end it so he can go to his city. But I'm also afraid of loneliness, I have no close friends and I'm afraid of falling into depression again. I know it's over what I "had" with the other guy, but it hurts me that he hates me. I'm also thinking about changing colleges so I won't see him anymore, but I don't have the means to do it.
Where do you even meet new people?
Vent thread
For vents that don't deserve their own thread
Old thread reached bump limit: >>95169
I don't want to be married and my bf wants to marry me i already told him that i don't want to however he keeps trying, i honestly don't want to break his heart but i don't really want to marry, should i ghost him?
I really miss my best friend.
We had been talking for more than 2 years, we are both antisocial virgins and that helped us a lot.
We made calls every day until the loneliness we had before was gone.
But the problems started when we got sexually approached while high on call. We really felt very good and personally I had never felt so sexually attracted to a man (more than 4 months without fap).
I was very happy until the next day he started to tell me that it was a mistake, from that moment everything changed between us. We stopped being affectionate and he stopped acting like a father to me (sorry I like that shit).
I was an idiot, I told him please forgive me if I made him feel bad but he just blocked me.
I think I'm in love with him because no other man attracts me and those who do have a physical resemblance to him (like ryan gosling in lars).
I want to die.
He so cute,adorable and protective tall nerd guy.
Forgot why I stopped hanging out with men and hooking up with them.
So this weird coincidence happened today. This guy I use to Snapchat who leaves like two states away. Was staying at the hotel I work at for work. Decide heck it I’ll hangout with him. Worst decision of my life. He had been with like thirty women and still didn’t know how to kiss and literally bit my boob so hard it now hurts and is all bruised up. He kissed me like he was trying to eat my mouth. We didn’t really go any further and thank fuck. Now I will be celibate for another three years before I forget how bad they are at sex.
>24
>never had a job
>dont drive
>uni drop out
>no friends
wow living like this feels like dying every day
Is your significant other taking you for granted?
What are the possible signs?
How to stop hating myself
How did I not know this site existed earlier. I’ve been a 4chan creeper for some reason even though all the threads creep me the fuck out and any time I use female pronouns in a thread I make I get torn to shreds even if what I was saying made sense. Anyways so to what I wanted to vent about; I actually fucking hate myself and I don’t know how to change. I’ve been like this since I was a kid my therapist said it was something about my parents not really being there which makes sense but they tried so hard so I don’t blame them. But now I’m stuck with undying self hatred. Even after I was in therapy for a couple years I could get over all my other mental health issues but this one. I hate how I look how I act how I sit how I talk I hate all of it. I’m cringing at myself almost every moment of the day and I can’t stop. It’s like it’s become easier to hate myself than accept that maybe I am all that and people still don’t want to be in a relationship with me because if I accept that then I’ll never be in a relationship. I feel like if I keep hating myself and losing weight and working out until I puke or faint slapping on makeup to hide what I hate and wearing the most fashionable clothes I can put together then maybe one day I’ll be worthy of someone else’s love. Because without this self hatred the loneliness feels more permanent because in reality I can’t change myself and if nobody likes me that’s on me for being myself and I can throw another pity party. I know in the back of my mind I’m not ugly and I have a cool personality but that doesn’t feel like the truth for me considering for my entire life I’ve been telling myself the opposite. How do I hate myself less? I don’t like waking up every morning and looking in the mirror to point out everything I don’t like but it’s such a routine for me I can’t break it.
Weirdest things you did because of social anxiety
>Stay locked into a bathroom stall doing nothing for hours until the party ended
Obsessed with Vanity
Being 20, yet having to worry about passing from my prime, having to worry about formulating the best body through workout and fasts.. The best face through makeup, brow trims, facial products…
How do I go beyond this, where I am trapped? I feel a massive gut punch whenever I see a girl who's prettier than me, or even just pretty in general. My worst fears consist of my boyfriend merely looking upon these women.
I have always been obsessed with appearance. I won't dare step outside if I believe I am not good enough to stare at. I don't even like the idea of my family looking at me when I feel I look less pleasant than usual….. Is there a light at the end of this tunnel?
Lonliness
Do you guys ever struggle with loneliness? Is the feeling almost constant and intense, or is it more buried and hidden until you think about how alone you are?
Share you thoughts, feelings, vents, insecurities, fears etc about loneliness, maybe we can all help each other out to not feel so alone for a second <3
Toxic Families
>Is your family toxic?
For me, yes. Especially my mom. I have to survive 90 days with her this summer and I don’t know how I’m not going to lose my mind.
I've come back to cc after a ~5-year break because I hit rock bottom again, and have no one to turn to for advice because everyone I know is an evangelical Christian.
I'm pregnant. I've been given the option to receive public funding for an abortion due to the circumstances that caused this. Part of me wants to abort (I'm already fat with a damaged body due to weight gain and don't want to worsen it) but I have a voice in my head telling me I'm being selfish for ending what could be a helpless human life because of my body image issues and to carry the pregnancy to term. I don't know what to do. I have a time limit to decide, obviously. Has anyone else gone through this?
Should I take money over my mental health?
Stay on Campus - In-Person Classes
PROS:
- Access to the gym
- Peace
- Easy path to the bus stop
CONS:
- $1500 bill for housing
- No reimbursement money
Stay at Home - Online Classes
PROS:
- $700 reimbursement (to build savings)
- Don’t have to pay for groceries
CONS:
- Abusive mother
- No access to the gym
- More difficult path to the bus stop
Last thread hit limit.
Pessimism Thread
I wanted to create a thread for everyone who follows or is interested in pessimistic philosophy/thinking. You can rant, share book recs, talk about various viewpoints etc. I find it's rare for women to discuss things like this, like all philosophies it's mostly dominated by men, so it's refreshing to come across them. Let's vent about how fundamentally shit existence is ladies
Here's a really good pessimistic blog made by a Ukrainian woman, lots of posts
https://uriupina.com/philosophy-psychology/
What mistake keeps you up at night?
Place to discuss your failures.
For me, it’s over sharing on non-anonymous online platforms and forums. Specifically, this one forum that doesn’t let you delete postings. Anyone who knows me can easily piece together that it’s me.
Justice after Tragedy
Have you sought justice after being raped/sexually assaulted? Was it a success? What advice would you give to a victim finding justice through court or other means?
ways to make more irl female friends?
I just want to get some advice on ways I can make more girl friends. i don’t want to join anymore clubs on campus because none of them interest me i cant go to bars and don’t enjoy parties and even when I do go to parties the girls never talk to me after that one time. need mega help plz
Vent thread
Previous one >>92970
Mean teachers
Has a teacher ever said anything to you that's stuck with you? Have you ever been bullied by a teacher? Have you ever held an emotional/trauma bond with a teacher?
How do i stop the self deprecating talk around my new friends
Ive had a rough upbringing and growing up I exhibited a lot of unhinged traits. Growing up its all mellowing out, but the shame and sadness about how my 22 years of life were so far is still there and it comes out around these people in the form of extreme deprecating way of talking about myself and just completely talking shit about myself. I dont want my friends to think im fishing for compliments (because im not, I genuinely think this way) and I don’t want to give them exact information of my weaknesses either. I cant seem to stop…
>Turn 18 and start college
>Go to a good one but it's an hour away from where I live
>Move in with my dad to get closer
>Away from my friends, I can never see them during the week
>Try my best to get along with people at uni, constantly starting conversations, talking with new people and acting extroverted
>In a matter of weeks I naturally get excluded from every friend group
>It just happens naturally
>I'm basically alone for the entire week
>When the weekends come and I can go to my mom's house I'm too exhausted to actually do things with my friends
>I'm trying to make online friends but it's not the same
>Deep painful feelings of loneliness scary to set in
>Broke down and started sobbing when I realized I'm going to slowly drift apart from all of my friends until I just naturally stop talking to them
I was excited for change and to meet new people, get away from school, I'm extroverted so I thought I'd be able to make new friends just like that. People always told me that in university you meet people that are similar to you but I feel alien.
My chest hurts its hard to breathe, I hate this.
Wanting friends but my standards are too high?
Kind of looking for advice, but also commiseration nonas. Kind of a rant too.
I keep feeling like I wish I had a really good online friend- just one that likes a lot of the same things as me (old RPGs, animals, mysteries and paranormal nonsense) but I just can't ever seem to maintain any friendships with people when I reach out. I also feel like I have too many varied interests and that makes it hard to make friends.
I try really hard to be the best kind of friend that I can- I am the kind of person who loves mailing little gifts to new friends just for fun, as well as sending them things that make me think of them, being a shoulder for them to cry on when they are upset, but literally no one has ever reciprocated this to me. I think I am the kind of person that no one reaches out to first, I always have to be the one who rekindles the conversations. I had a girl I thought was a close friend steamroll over my message saying that a family member was extremely ill to start talking about her own relationship problems to me in paragraphs.
I had this one online friend where she and I would read goofy books together and then talk about it chapter by chapter on Discord, and we would vote every time on a new book. She expressed an interest in something that I happened to have an extra of, and I mailed it to her (of course asking if it was okay first) including a little card and letter, and after that the friendship kind of fizzled because I feel like she wasn't really very thankful or anything. I actually had to ask her to make sure it got to her because she didn't let me know and I was worried it was lost in the mail. "Oh yeah it came 2 days ago, thank you" is what I got back. It was kind of something precious that I sent to her so it hurt my feelings.
I also had another friend who I used to trade a specific kind of collectable with online, but one time I sent her a very expensive and rare one as a gift, and I saw her reselling it for a profit on a group we were a part of (she didn't know I was there too) and it really hurt my feelings.
I feel like the only kind of people I attract who actually want to talk to me are autist moids who traumadump on me and spend half of our conversations about things (like games) trying to one-up me or correct me. I know I have some people in my life online who would probably be friends with me but I just don't like them very much so I am not motivated to do the kinds of things I normally would (gift giving, etc). It's literally like the only people that want to be friends with me are autistic gay men, specifically. It's bizarre.
And, to top it all off I have this horrible habit of sending people messages asking "hey do you wanna be friends?" after a good interaction online (like Tumblr or something, they will leave a comment relating to something I post and I want to reach out to them because we seem to have common interests) And it never works. (Literally got left on read by someone recently after saying "I definitely think you and I would have been best friends in high school!" to a girl I knew a bit online.) I've embarrassed the fuck out of myself and ruined potential friendships with people I think are cool by I guess being overly friendly. I made a slight friendship with a Youtuber I really liked and I guess royally fucked it up by being too friendly. (I genuinely do not think I am behaving in a creepy way, I just guess I try to hard to respond to every detail of their messages to make sure they know I am paying attention to them if that makes sense.) I thought our friendship was dead, but he reached out to me in a friendly way in his Discord (privately) and I got really excited thinking we could be friends again, he talked to me for over an hour and then left me on read and never messaged me again.
I tend to want to help people with things (like I will type out an entire recipe to someone if they seem interested in something I cooked just in case they would like to make it too) and then I get disappointed when they appear not to give a shit. Or I really try hard to be interested in what they are talking about and ask engaging questions.
I think I tend to overgive to people? And then get disappointed when they don't match me? And then I drop them like a sack of rocks. If someone doesn't reciprocate my effort I literally just stop caring about them or even start to hate them. Is this having too high of standards? Am I an asshole for giving someone a gift and resenting them for not reciprocating?
I have 0 friends. Literally 0. No one who would be worried if they didn't hear from me for a month. No one who I could talk to if I was having serious issues in my life. All I have are a bunch of aborted friendships where I either made the person uncomfortable (presumably) by being too engaged, or ones where I cut them off because they weren't providing friendship on the level I wanted. (Or, not to mention that literally every female friend I have had in the past 10 years eventually became nonbinary and I am not interested in friendship with someone who subscribes to that stuff.)
It's just that, I'm gonna be 30 before I know it, and I am not interested in shallow friendships. I want a real friend. How do you find one? Does anyone have any advice for me? I feel like I need a dating website but for friends.
How to regain a will to live?
Everyday is exactly the same. My drinking problems are getting worse. My best friend replaced me with someone else. I'm alone and have nothing to look forward to when I wake up. Almost killed myself last month. Nevertheless, I want to take a chance at life. I force myself to go for a walk everyday, I make myself tasty, healthy food. I want to get better. I want to stop being lonely and make friends I can share my love with. I thought of some things that might help:
>keeping a journal so I will force myself to do something new everyday to write about it later
>affirmations to brainwash myself out of negativity
>meditation
>spending more time outside in public even if it's just sitting on a bench
>going to cafes to read there
Relationship General #2
Old thread reached bump limit: >>>/feels/68927
>advice
>?s about romance, love, potential partners, etc.
>experiences and wishes
>venting
Solitude thread
Why do you feel lonely? You dont actually owe society anything especially when youve been neglected, traumatized etc. You may feel like you dont belong, but ofcourse you do. Youre a human being that actually just wants to exist and be loved. Thats the essence of everyone, but people have different ways of doing this. Most just follow the herd. Theyre just not very smart. Everyone whos hurt you is gonna live a less meaningful feeling life than you have the potential to live. Thats the karmatic patterns of nature. Youre actually free, even if on the streets there are moids just being human garbage, its not your fault - your morals are above theirs. Nothing was ever your fault in this life, youre perfect and loved.
I haaaaaaaaaaaate being a woman of color. So. Fucking. Much.
And before you wonder why, let me make it clear that it has little to do with actually being a woman and of color. I'm not a fucking tranny, I appreciate my womanhood. And I don't see white as being any more special than the skin color I have.
But the reason why I hate my existence has everything to do with the male counterparts I'm forced to acknowledge by association. There is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, I hate more than men of color. Out of all the men on Earth, they are the most openly volatile, most vocally aggressive, most physically aggressive. Anytime you see the face of a toxic red-pilling manosphere vlogger, they're 100% of the time bound to be a man of color. They breed hood culture from a young age, which instills the idea into men of color that they have to be totally incompetent soon to be convicts that drop racial epithets all the time as a form of comraderie and wear shapeless tacky clothing that denotes to the classless cultureless heathens that they are. They have a proclivity to openly woman bash and see women as their personal cum barrels, which is why many of these mouth breathers will open their lips and say the most vilely abhorrent things about women to anyone within earshot and what they'd want to do to a woman in bed. The highest amount of sex traffickers, drug pushers, domestic abusers, gang bangers are all: men of color.
At least in White and Asian culture, they seem to raise their men with a sense of dignity and pride. They instill honor by their name and what's the first thing they teach young boys in their culture to do? To honor their culture by honoring their women. They'll defend women and look out for their own kind. Even in message boards like 4chan, when I write something where I address my race, white men will jump on me like blood thirsty dogs and call me all sorts of things like shitskin and goblina. That's one last thing I'd like to add. Being a woman of color, my existence can't be left alone without people feeling compelled to mention white women as if I mandatorily must 100% of the time be dredged into a negative comparison in favor of white women. I would like to live my life in peace without having to be referred to as a "shit skin" or "ugly monkey" because a white man feels he has no other way of complimenting his pedestalized Aryan queen. Just please leave me the fuck alone already. My life can be perfectly fine without having to be cruelly reminded everyday by white men and colored men on 4chan that I'm leagues below white women in Western society. Just let me have a peaceful fucking life, please.
Dreams and wishes thread
Wanted to make a thread for us to write about stuff that we want. Could be:
- Attainable dreams
- Unrealistic dreams
- Stuff that you want for the long run, like a type of career, housing and moving plans, etc
- Stuff that you really just want right now, like a holiday, a cute set of clothings, food
- An imaginary setting in your head that you want and want to talk about, being it realistic or not, like imagine a life you wish you would have
And all the stuff in between, I guess.
Losing inspiration
I just bought some new markers and I’ve been trying to get back into art. However, the only things I can draw are things based off some traumatic things that happened to me, or political or grotesque shit. I haven’t been able to come up with ideas outside of that for a long time. I wish I could just draw peaceful things again and not question it, but I can’t come up with anything without it turning into something that has some sort of deeper meaning. I’m so tired of being negative.
/fcg/ - femcel general
post all things related to your involuntary celibacy
thread prompts:
>when did you realize you were a femcel and how old are you now
>what does being a femcel mean to you
>vent about celibacy
>what are your interests ? ( just curious, not necessarily related )
feel free to add more
Sister Thread
Post any sister things!
Mine is that I've often wanted to tell my younger sister about this site but I'm not sure how she'd react, god forbid she found lolcow. Would you show your sisters this site?
Living with someone with a serious disorder or disability
Part vent, part desperate plea for help…
My boyfriend whom I live with has OCD among other things. It wasn't a problem before, but the past 6 months it has been getting progressively worse. We spend 4-5 hours (possibly more, he cleans when I'm not home, too) cleaning every day. The whole apartment gets cleaned daily. We can't have any decorations because they'll quickly get "dirty" or become "dangerous." any niisefrom the upstairs or next door neighbors are because they're angry at us. Hands must be washed after everything. All surfaces constantly disinfected. If there's any splashing while washing, clothes must be changed, etc. Going out anywhere takes several hours of prep. After coming home, clothes must be taken off in the entryway, then one has to shower, then clean all areas where one walked (and hey, since you're cleaning already…. Do the other rooms, too!)
I desperately want him to get professional help, but he has trauma and is really distrustful of medical professionals. I offered to go to therapy /counseling together (no medications) but he refused.
I have my own disabilities and I know he's had to sacrifice to help me as well, so I'm usually patient and help. But all I do is work, clean, try to sleep but get waken up because something is dirty/dangerous, repeat. Sometimes for an hour or two he is back to his old self but then something happens and we're back to cleaning. It's so frustrating.
And of course I can't talk to anyone about it. I feel so isolated embarrassed, and frustrated that I can't do more and get won't get help.
Is anyone here in a similar situation (as either party)? What do you do? Any advice?
Are there women in their 30s/late 20s browsing this board?
I'm younger but I'd like to ask a few questions.
>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?
>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?
>What are the advantages of being at this age?
>How do people treat you?
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friendless feels
the title says it all.
i ended up scrolling through the account of someone a few years younger than me and saw posts like pic related…just people (kids i guess) having fun with their friends and it made me sad because i never got to have that ):
can anyone relate?
also, general friendless anon thread.
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For me its not like there aren't any guys that are into me it's just that its hard for me to connect socially with people.
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The only thing that makes me nervous is that he also wants me to work the line, which I've never done, but the place is classy so we're putting out beautiful food that I'm really proud of and even messing with molecular gastronomy, which I've wanted to get into for a very long time! I'm so excited to do my best.
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If I told anyone this in real life, they'd probably think I was bizarre, but i want to get it off my chest. To be honest most of my personality now and my likes and dislikes and interests were stolen from a girl who's blog I used to read 3-4 years ago. She wasn't anyone e-famous but I just stumbled across her and somehow I became obsessed. I cyberstalked her all over the internet and I started listening to every band she posted about, watching every movie, posting things with the same sense of humor and going over her selfies for aesthetic details every time she posted them so I could try my best to copy her style. I've never spoken to her openly but I used to send her all sorts of anon messages so I could find out things about her to better emulate them. Eventually I stopped stalking her accounts as much and lost track of her online profiles as she would change names a lot. Recently I checked back to find she was completely different now, and in my opinion much less interesting. I'm still basically a reflection of her from 4 years ago, and I'm fairly comfortable with it all still even though it sounds quite creepy when I type it out. Most people who know me now weren't really around in my life 4 years ago, and they have no idea that almost everything about me is copied from some random girl online i've never even properly spoken to. I still use some of her dead aliases as screen names (don't worry, only as nicknames on places she would never be able to see or be disturbed by if she did find me). Am I alone in this? is anyone else this creepy?
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>tfw no girl group of internet friends
men suck and their shitty discord servers
Online fame and paranoia
I'm probably going to get some hate for this, but here we go.
I have a slightly successful YouTube channel and a pretty slow thread on lolcow /snow/. Through mutual interests, I've met a girl, and we've developed a mutual crush on each other.
Unfortunately, I found out she's in the lolcow discord. Now I can think about is whether or not she's a farmer trying to get close to gossip about me. I know it sounds self important but I've been catfished before due to my online presence. What do I do? How fucked am I?
/exfeels/
what are your relationship with your exes like?
>ex 1, female, online, a few years ago - she ghosted me after we broke up, we were best friends since i was 8
whenever i see something that reminds me of her i get panicky and feel physically hurt inside, and a lot of things remind me of her. she left a hole in my heart
>ex 2, online, male, broke up a few months ago
i still obsess over him/think about him every day/night
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>>>/feels/res/25163.html
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>>>/feels/21617
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tfw no bf #4
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>>>/feels/14789
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TFW NO CUTE SHY SLIGHTLY AWKWARD BF TO CUDDLE WITH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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